November 29, 1993

That day, there was an unexpected change in Defense Against the Dark Arts class. Professor Lupin was sick, so Professor Snape was going to teach the lesson in his place.

"You can close the books, we won't need them today," he ruled, while looking at the students with his dark eyes. With a wave of his wand, he had the desks stacked against the wall. "Given the disaster that the dueling club turned out to be last year, I have decided to teach you the basics so that you know how to defend yourselves in a magical duel. Today you will practice attack and defense spells. Get in pairs."

Lily and Astoria smiled at each other and automatically came together. Around them, the other students also stood along their friends, but Severus clicked his tongue against his teeth.

"I think we are going to break these ideal couples. Greengrass, along with Creevey. White, you will fight Weasley."

Lily changed places, standing in front of Ginny, while Severus continued mixing up the Gryffindors and the Slytherins. Ginny stared at her with a serious expression, sizing her up with her wand in her hand, and Lily went on guard as well.

"Start!"

Lily and Ginny looked into each other's eyes, before beginning.

"Expelliarmus."

"Protego,"Lily managed to stop the spell without difficulty, and returned to an attack position. On that round, it was her turn to attack, and Ginny was also able to block her spell.

Ginny and her practiced for several minutes, sometimes managing to disarm their rival. It seemed like everything was going well until Severus approached them.

"Miss White, why are you holding back?"

Lily looked at him blankly. She was disarming Ginny in most of the attacks, and she didn't need to use any more force.

"I could throw Ginny backwards, Professor."

"So?"

"Well... we don't have anything to cushion falls," Lily looked towards Ginny, who was too close to a wall. Ginny watched the professor with half-closed eyes, knowing that that day it was her turn to be Severus' victim. But Lily didn't want to get into that game. "I don't want to hurt her, Professor."

Severus narrowed his eyes, annoyed. He was giving her a chance to show off in class, and she had the nerve to turn him down. Demon girl.

"Miss White, in a real duel there are no cushions to protect from the blows."

"But this is not a real duel, Professor. We're learning," Severus' eyes widened, furious and amazed at her arrogance.

He could feel the eyes of the other students on them, and he knew that he could not let this affront go. No one could see how he gave ground to a muggleborn child.

"Do you want to learn, Miss White?" Severus put himself on guard, and before Lily could react, he attacked her. "Expelliarmus!"

Lily didn't make a sound, but she waved her wand just right. The force of the spell made her take a couple of steps back, but she remained standing, wand still in her hand. And for a second, a scowl of fury flashed in her dark eyes.

"Expelliarmus!"she suddenly shouted back. Severus didn't expect her to attack him, and he didn't have time to react. His wand flew through the air, into Lily's hand.

Silence filled the classroom, while the other students covered their mouths with their hands or looked at them with wide eyes. No one have ever thought of attacking Hogwarts' most fearsome professor.

Lily also seemed surprised by her boldness, but she did not flinch. She held her position, head held high, fearful but defiant. She knew he was going to punish her, but she was more than willing to pay the price.

Snape thought quickly about what he should do. He couldn't allow himself to show weakness. With aplomb, he decided to twist the situation to his advantage.

"So, you do know how to do it, Miss White. You no longer have an excuse to disobey me," approaching Lily, he looked down at her, with the typical cold stare that used to leave the students trembling with fear. Abruptly, he retrieved his wand, and bowed slightly toward her, emphasizing his superiority. "Now, show Miss Weasley how it's done, or I'll report you to the headmaster."

Lily pursed her lips in anger but did not reply. Severus knew that the fear of being expelled was very real in the students of the first years, and Lily was no stranger to it. Giving him a look of rage, the girl regained her attack position.

She looked at Ginny with pleading eyes, but the redhead nodded slightly and squared her shoulders. She also knew that there was no way out of this situation, and as a true Gryffindor she would face the danger head on.

"Expelliarmus!"Lily shouted, and her spell came out with such force that Ginny was thrown back, hitting the wall with a thud.

No one dared to say anything, a cold and oppressive atmosphere had taken over the dungeon, and not even the Slytherins were happy with the situation.

Lily remained in her place, trembling, with her wand lowered and her eyes fixed on the ground. She looked about to cry.

Severus silently cursed himself, he had taken the situation too far.

"I want you to write an essay indicating the effects of the disarmament spell and the different ways to stop it. Miss White, because of your insolence, tomorrow you will be responsible for cleaning all the cauldrons in the Potions classroom... without magic. Class is over, you can leave now," he growled. There was no point in prolonging the lesson.

Lily was one of the first to run away, without looking back. Severus didn't want to think about it, because there was no point in wasting time on stupid things. She had defied him and must be punished.

And yet, through his ring came a sharp, burning pain.

Pain, anger, and shame.

ooo

Lily couldn't let it be. Everything she valued, everything she had ever believed in, had just been broken, in the most perverse way.

Miss Anderson would never forgive her if she found out what she had done. She had always told her to defend herself, but to never start fights, and to never, ever hit another student. And she had done it. She had hurt Ginny, who had never done anything to her.

Why had she done it? She could have refused. She could have done nothing. She could have thrown her wand to the ground and refused to do magic. So what if she was expelled? Was it really worth continuing at a school like that?

"Lily, wait!" Astoria was running towards her, carrying both of their backpacks. "Don't go so fast."

Lily didn't want to stop; she didn't want to be seen crying. She had never cried at Hogwarts, not even when Draco and his friends made her life miserable, but now the tears fell down her face without help.

"Lily!" Astoria grabbed her arm, forcing her to stop. "By Merlin, look at you."

"Leave me alone."

"Of course not, come with me," Astoria dragged her towards the girls' toilet. "You have to calm down, you can't walk down the corridors like that."

But Lily couldn't stop crying. She couldn't get the image of Ginny being thrown backwards out of her head.

Astoria tried to calm her down without success, and suddenly the door opened and Ginny and Luna Lovegood entered through it. The four girls stood looking at each other, not knowing what to do, and suddenly Lily broke free of Astoria's arms and walked forward.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you," she sobbed. "I shouldn't have done it, I'm sorry..."

Ginny, who had looked at her with harshness and contempt, didn't know how to react. She had never seen a Slytherin student ask for forgiveness, especially not like that.

But Luna stepped forward, and without warning hugged Lily, cutting off her torrent of apologies. Although she was surprised by the gesture, Lily let herself be held, until her breathing calmed down.

"Are you feeling better?" Luna asked, releasing her, and Lily nodded. "You should dry your face, you don't want to attract the Muzzels."

"The what?"

"They are little imps that are attracted to human tears. They are very annoying, and their bite causes hives."

"Luna, that's enough," Ginny interceded, before turning to Lily. "White, it's okay, you didn't have many other options. It hurt a little, but it's not that bad, I'm sure I won't even remember it tomorrow," Lily lowered her head, sniffing through her nose. "Also, it was so cool how you disarmed Snape, his face was a poem," at that, the four girls smiled.

"I thought he was going to kill me, thank goodness he didn't have a wand," Lily smiled, wiping her face. She already felt more relieved.

"Don't smile so much, you're going to be grounded tomorrow and you won't be able to go to the Quiddich match," Astoria reminded her, but she was smiling too. Lily shrugged, indicating that she didn't care about the game. "Come on, we have to go to Charms."

"True. See you later Weasley."

"Take care, White."

ooo

November 30, 1993

It was Saturday, and the Great Hall took longer to fill at breakfast time. The students took advantage of the hours before the game to sit with friends from other houses, talking animatedly.

Perhaps that is why Lily White did not attract attention when, upon seeing Ginny arrive, she got up from the Slytherin table to approach the Gryffindor table. Without looking around, she handed the other girl a small vial with a light-colored potion.

"What is this?"

"It is an anti-inflammatory potion. It makes bruises disappear. You just need to spread it where it hurts."

Ginny wanted to protest, saying that it didn't hurt at all, but a sharp pain in her back silenced her.

"Thank you," she murmured, accepting the bottle. Lily nodded and turned around. As if by chance, she looked towards the staff table and saw that Snape was indeed looking at her, with an unreadable expression on his face.

Lily ignored him and, with her head held high, left the Great Hall, heading towards the dungeons.

ooo

The punishment stated that Lily had to clean the cauldrons without using magic, but no one had specified that she couldn't use a potion. Smirking, Lily boiled the concoction she had been researching all night.

She didn't care if Professor Snape got upset, technically, she was following his instructions, and besides, did he really expect a Slytherin student to follow the rules?

On the other hand, Daphne had assured her that she was not going to be expelled for refusing to attack another student, and that Lupin or Dumbledore would surely speak in her favor if Snape carried out his threat.

At worst, Lily would be grounded for the next few weekends doing boring jobs for the teacher, but that was something she could handle.

If Miss Anderson had taught her anything, it was that she shouldn't be intimidated by bullies, and in her opinion, Professor Snape was a bully.

The potion worked perfectly, leaving the cauldrons sparkling clean in just a few minutes, and Lily only had to rinse them with water before letting them dry.

Satisfied, she dried her hands and prepared to leave the dungeon. There was still time to get to the match between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff.

ooo

The students were flying overhead at high speed, but Severus wasn't paying them any attention. He had his gaze lost and his mind focused elsewhere. He was still upset about what had happened the day before, and he couldn't identify why.

He was angry with Lily, for how she had challenged him in front of the other students and for how she had confronted him. There was nothing innocent or youthful about the way she had looked at him.

And she had attacked him. He had to admit, that twelve-year-old brat had more guts than many adult wizards.

He was also angry with himself, for losing control like that. He had attacked a student, for Merlin's sake. Had he gone crazy?

And all for what? Because she wasn't grateful for his macabre offering? Because she wouldn't take the opportunity to torture a Gryffindor?

Lily was not Draco Malfoy, she did not gloat over the suffering of others, she did not base her validation on feeling superior and despising those who were weaker than her.

No, Lily had shown compassion. Lily had worried about the well-being of Ginny Weasley, a tough-as-nails girl who had been possessed by a fragment of the Dark Lord's soul and had survived a damned basilisk.

And he, instead of observing the situation and analyzing what was in front of him, had had to continue pushing, squeezing the girl until she broke. What would it have cost him to summon some cushions? Surely Madam Pomfrey wouldn't growl at him so much. But no, he had to act like a real dick.

Distracted as he was, Severus didn't notice the screams that rose around him until it was too late. And almost at the same time, his ring became ice cold, and terrified thoughts came to his mind.

...Professor Snape leaned over her, tall, dark and menacing.

"Miss White, where is your Potions book?"...

...The dark figure stood menacingly in front of her, wand in hand, and a cruel sneer on his face.

"Do you want to learn, Miss White?"...

...The cold black eyes looked at her with contempt and coldness.

"Show Miss Weasley how it's done"...

...Ginny Weasley was thrown backwards, hitting the wall...

Severus shook his head, blocking out the thoughts with Occlumency.

He could see Dumbledore, trying to stop Harry Potter from falling, while his Patronus flew through the air, driving the dementors away.

"There are students on the grounds!" Severus shouted, getting up in a hurry.

Without waiting for a response, he walked down the steps two at a time and ran out the Quiddich pitch. The attention of all the teachers was focused on what was happening with Potter, and by the time anyone realized that the dementors had found a second prey, it would be too late.

And then he saw her, lying on the ground, curled up on herself, surrounded by shadows that hovered over her like hungry crows...

"Expecto Patronum!" the silver doe came out of his wand, and ran towards the small figure, jumping gracefully around her, scaring away the dementors with her light.

The creatures moved away, rising into the clouds, and Severus came to Lily's side, kneeling beside her.

The girl had her eyes closed, and tears wet her face. She wasn't conscious nor did she respond to the gentle pats on her face. With his heart in his throat, Severus picked her up in his arms and ran towards the infirmary.

ooo

It was night, and Severus sat in his office, accompanied by Dumbledore. A bottle of liquor remained open between them, and the two men drank slowly from their glasses.

Severus had his gaze fixed on the fire and his mind elsewhere, oblivious to the scrutiny the other wizard was subjecting him to.

The images he had obtained of Lily replayed over and over in his mind. The girl was afraid of him. The last thing she had thought about when being attacked by the dementors had been him.

It was of little use that Dumbledore had told him that she was out of danger, and that Madam Pomfrey had given her a dreamless sleeping potion, he couldn't shake those memories.

Was he feeling guilty?

"Severus, how did you know that Miss White was in danger?" Dumbledore asked the question gently, without really pressing for an answer, giving him time to collect his thoughts.

Severus realized that he hadn't told him about the pendant, but it didn't matter. Surely the headmaster would have already noticed.

"I saw how the dementors left the Quiddich field. They were following a very specific route, and it seemed suspicious to me," Severus lied half-heartedly, barely lifting the barrier of Occlumency. Dumbledore nodded, without further insistence, accepting his lie as the new official version.

And they both continued drinking in silence, each immersed in their own thoughts.

...

Severus has tried to treat Lily as if she were Draco, and it backfired.

Maybe seeing himself through someone else's eyes will help him reconsider the way he behaves.

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