I asked Bjorn about Thorfinn's whereabouts and headed to the last place he was seen. Naturally, the little troublemaker wasn't there. I did stumble upon a slashed up bucket and lingered until late into the night, hoping he might show up. Alas, he didn't. The following day, I reunited with the pirates, keeping watch near the ship as they loaded their plunder from the village onto their ships, and Thors ship. Askeladd was nearby, engaged in conversation with the man known as Ear, a shorter man with stupidly good hearing.

As they made progress with the loading, a wave of relief washed over me at the sight of Thorfinn approaching the group, his tired appearance and noticeable weight loss tugging at my heartstrings.

I yearned to rush to him, to wrap him in a hug, and pour out my apologies for losing track of him. I wanted to assure him that he didn't have to face his struggles alone, that I was there to support him. But with these pirates around, I couldn't risk showing any sign of weakness. They'd mock us for it, and probably demand showing some kind of proof I was a man (I had no plans of taking off my pants for all these lunatics to see!). So, as much as I wanted to express some sort of affection for Thorfinn, to show that I cared, I had to hold back until we were alone.

As Thorfinn approached, I positioned myself to the side, arms folded, wearing a scowl that could curdle milk. And it wasn't just an act – I was genuinely ticked off at him for ditching me and pulling off this reckless stunt. Sure, part of me wanted to embrace him, but another part was itching to give him a solid smack on the head for his thoughtlessness.

As Thorfinn made his way over, all eyes gravitated toward him, causing a collective pause in the bustling activity. However, Atli seized the moment to stir the pot, or to just get under my skin because he liked the drama, bellowed across the group in my direction, "Well, would you look at that, Thorben! Your kid has returned! How about giving him a big ol smooch for me before you wring his neck, eh?" His jest echoed through the air, earning a chuckle from Torgrim, who readily joined in the amusement, the jackass. I couldn't help but let my eyes roll upwards at their childishness. For killers, they sure were immature.

Thorfinn didn't seem to pay him any heed, his determined eyes only momentarily moving over to me before he came to a full stop in front of the group and suddenly declared much to my dismay, "I am the son of Thors, Thorfinn! In the name of the almighty Odin," Thorfinn started, pulling out his knife with determination and practice, "I'm challenging you to a duel."

I slapped my hand to my forehead. That eejit! Why did that have to be the first thing he demanded right off the fucking bat?

With anger, and worry, simmering in my gut, I closed the distance between myself and the men, finding myself nearer to Askeladd than I cared to be, arms folded in front of me. Eager to eavesdrop on their conversation, I held my tongue, unwilling to risk speaking out, because if I tried to interject in a duel, the consequences would be too dire and they would be no way I could talk my way out of that. My silent plea was for Askeladd to simply deliver another swift blow, rendering Thorfinn unconscious as he had done before, thus bringing a swift resolution to the fucked up situation. Why the first thing that came out of Thorfinn mouth, the rash little eejit, was to declare a duel? Now there wasn't anything I could do or say to stop it. All I could do was hope it would end soon, and with Thorfinn relatively unharmed.

Never in my life did I want to punch a kid as hard as I could until now. I didn't know what that said about me, but I didn't care at the moment. There were more pressing matters at hand and a sudden penchent for child abuse wasn't one of them.

But if Askeladd knocked him out again, at least it would be a simpler task for me to haul him away. Hopefully, they'd allow it. After all, I was dumb enough not to include Thorfinn in my declaration after winning my duel.

"I want to see you fight him Askeladd!" Torgrim yelled, clearly excited. I rolled my eyes at that. He was just a kid!

"You have to do it," I heard Bjorn say, amusement dancing on his crooked smile. "A chieftain has to live up to his men's expectations."

Aakeladd only sighed but stood from where he sat. When he did a small stretch, his hands on his lower back as he leaned back, looking bored as all hell, he suddenly turned to me. "I presume you don't have anything to say about this, do you?"

I followed his movement, but didn't look into his eyes. He wasn't making any sort of face this time around, only looking bored. "Just don't kill him." Was all I could say. Why he'd asked that was beyond me. If I were to say to stop, his men would throw a fit and just accuse me of being weak. I didn't know if that would go worse for Thorfinn or not. I hesitated to take that risk.

Did that make me a coward?

He clicked his tongue disapprovingly before drawing his sword, striding confidently toward the burgeoning crowd. As he positioned himself at the center, sword resting on his shoulder, he declared, "I suppose I have no choice. I, Askeladd, the son of Olaf, accept your challenge in the name of Odin." Thorfinn emitted a faint sigh, almost as if he anticipated Askeladd's reluctance. "Really?" Askeladd continued, his boredom evident. "You want to meet your father again so soon?"

Thorfinn remained silent, his determination palpable as he prepared for the impending fight. Suddenly, Askeladd assumed a combat stance, his sword drawn in front of him, his body angled ever so slightly, catching everyone off guard – even Bjorn, who had inexplicably positioned himself by my side, appeared taken aback.

Damn it. Was Askeladd truly going to treat this duel seriously as if he was dueling another equal? Would he hurt Thorfinn? Would he slice him up, cripple him?

Helpless, all I could do was observe. Any attempt to intervene would likely result in both of our deaths.

Thorfinn surged forward, a battle cry escaping his lips as he wielded his short sword with a lack of finesse. At least he had chosen a weapon more suited to his stature this time.

Askeladd effortlessly evaded Thorfinn's attacks, even regarding him with an infuriatingly affectionate expression, smiling as Thorfinn tried to deliver a killing blow. It made my skin crawl. However, Askeladd's demeanor shifted to one of boredom as he deftly sidestepped yet another strike, before delivering a punishing kick to Thorfinn's abdomen.

My fists clenched tightly at my sides, but I refrained from intervening, hoping that the blow would incapacitate Thorfinn as it had before. Yet, to my dismay, Thorfinn rose defiantly, brandishing his blade at Askeladd, who approached him with a casual stride, only to deliver another forceful kick.

And again.

And again.

"What's the matter?" Kick. "Is this seriously all you got?" Another kick. "Pretty boring, kid. On your feet." And yet another kick to the stomach.

The impact of the last kick compelled me to fold my arms tightly across my chest, my hands pressing into my arms. I found myself leaning forward involuntarily, only for Bjorn to abruptly grasp my shoulder. Meeting his disapproving gaze, I shook my head and shrugged off his hand.

"I wasn't planning on interfering," I informed him, my frustration evident. "But does he have to be so brutal?"

"Isn't this a duel?" Askeladd retorted to Thorfinn, casually resting his sword back on his shoulder.

Bjorn caught me off guard as he shifted his focus to Askeladd. "That's enough, don't you think? He'll be dead before long," he remarked, a smile playing on his lips despite his words.

Askeladd chuckled softly and turned to face him. "You said to fight. You change your mind?" Then, his gaze shifted to me, and though I couldn't gauge my expression, I didn't look away this time. Askeladd raised an eyebrow at me. "Don't tell me Thorben had anything to do with it?"

Out of nowhere, Thorfinn's dagger arced through the air, aimed straight for Askeladd's head. My eyes widened in anticipation, but my hopes were swiftly crushed when Askeladd swiftly pivoted and deflected the dagger with a well-timed strike. Unable to contain myself, I blurted out, "Why did you do that?"

I realized it was a rather foolish question, but my attention was suddenly drawn to a strange noise emanating from Bjorn, who had turned his head away from us, his hand muffling what seemed like laughter.

I…wasn't trying to be funny.

As Askeladd redirected his focus to Thorfinn, the defeated stance of the younger fighter was clear as Thorfinn laid on the ground, gritting his teeth as he looked down toward the ground, and I braced myself for Askeladd's next move. In a duel, victory didn't always require taking a life; it was a decision left to the clear victor, as I had once decided after my own duel. Yet, in this moment, Askeladd held Thorfinn's fate in his hands, and no one would intervene if he chose to end it.

Legally, Askeladd had every right to claim Thorfinn's life.

But deep down, I knew he wouldn't.

"Think I've had enough. Let's call it there," Askeladd said, turning away from a surprised Thorfinn. "I take no pleasure in murdering children."

Thorfinn remained on the ground, pleading for Askeladd to continue, insisting he wasn't done yet. Askeladd, unmoved, turned to leave. "I don't have time for this," he dismissed.

Thorfinn, oblivious to his defeat, appeared bewildered, crushed, and undeniably crestfallen, demanding Askeladd to engage him further, hurling accusations of cowardice.

Askeladd, now crouched over Thorfinn's discarded dagger, remarked dryly, "You are persistent, aren't you?"

"This isn't over!" Thorfinn's voice echoed with rage. "Not until I kill you! You'll die for what you did!"

In response, Askeladd casually retrieved Thorfinn's dagger and hurled it in his direction. The blade embedded itself into the ground before Thorfinn. "Prove yourself on the field of battle. You're a warrior, right?" Askeladd rose to his full height, a smile playing on his lips as he looked down at Thorfinn. "You do that and I'll reward you with a proper duel."

Thorfinn gazed up at Askeladd, his expression betraying a mix of astonishment and curiosity, mirroring the emotions likely swirling within me. Retrieving his dagger, he turned it over in his hand, studying its every curve and edge before posing his question, "I have your word on that?"

"Of course," Askeladd pivoted towards his ships, his voice carrying assurance, "You can always trust a warrior's promise."

No way was I going to stand idly by and watch this unfold. Stepping forward as Askeladd strode past, I reached out to Thorfinn, my determination fueling my words, "Thorfinn, you have to understand, Askeladd was simply--" Before I could finish, a gloved hand forcefully covered my mouth, silencing the words I knew could alter Thorfinn's path, even if it meant redirecting his wrath towards someone else entirely.

But Askeladd had stopped me.

His gloved hand pressed firmly against my mouth, propelling me backward into the solid wall of his chest. His grip was vice-like, making it difficult to draw a breath. Instinctively, I tried to free myself by prying at his gloved hand with my gloveless ones, but his hold remained unyielding.

He was simply too strong, and no matter how hard I tried, he didn't even budge.

"Not another word," Askeladd's voice whispered ominously into my ear as he began to pull me backwards. I glanced at Thorfinn, sensing his intention to intervene as he took a step forward, but Bjorn intervened, blocking his path.

"Don't worry about your friend. Askeladd is only going to talk to…him."

As I was forcibly pulled away from Thorfinn and Askeladd's men who returned to their tasks, Askeladd steered me aside until we were sufficiently secluded. With a forceful shove to my shoulder, his hand released its grip on my clothed covered face, and I staggered forward, desperately trying to catch my breath. Though shaken, I managed to maintain my footing and refrained from collapsing to the ground. Spinning around, my fury boiling over, I confronted him, "What the hell is your problem!"

"What's wrong with me? I should be asking you the same," he retorted, his arms folding across his chest as he peered down at me with a patronizing gaze, as if addressing a child. That look was just as grating as his typical smug smirk. "What exactly do you hope to achieve by telling him that?"

"And what do you hope to accomplish by telling him to prove himself on the field of battle!" I exclaimed, my voice escalating before I noticed Askeladd's raised eyebrow, prompting me to rein it in. His men glanced our way as they carried on with their tasks, and I realized I couldn't risk raising my voice amidst the commotion in case I couldn't keep up with a husky tone. "He's just a kid," I continued, adopting a more composed tone, "he doesn't belong on a battlefield."

I had to remind myself of who this man truly was, of the depths of his capabilities. I had let my guard down in these past three days, growing complacent.

Yet, when it came to Thorfinn…

"So, you reckon you've got it all figured out, eh?" Askeladd began, lifting his chin arrogantly to peer down at me. "You think you know where he fits, which road he ought to tread, whose blood he's owed for vengeance?"

"Better to seek vengeance on a man who is out of his reach, who isn't right in front of him paving a path through the innocent and unarmed!"

"And what makes you think vengeance follows your rules?" Askeladd unfolded his arms, resting his hand on his hip by his sheathed sword. "This lad's path is his own to carve, with or without your guidance. You might as well try to tame the winds as to steer his course."

"If there's even the smallest glimmer of hope to steer him away from a path of bloodshed," I seethed, my hands clenched into tight fists at my sides. "I deserve that chance. Why are you standing in my way? Why do you even care where the boy ends up? I'm here now. I can take him away from you, and you'll never have to see either of us again." My voice carried a hint of desperation, more pleading than I intended, but in that moment, my focus was solely on Thorfinn, not on myself.

"Ah, but you see," Askeladd tilted his head, a glint of amusement dancing in his eyes now. "It's not about where he goes, but where he stays. And as long as he's under my watch, his fate is tied to mine." His narrowed gaze stifled any immediate response from me. "But if you're so eager to whisk him away, by all means," he leaned in, a sly smirk tugging at one corner of his lips, "try it. Just remember, the ties that bind him to vengeance run deeper than any outsider could ever grasp." His face took on a serious look again, a look that reminded me of the one he gave Thors before he gave the order to kill. "But consider this before you do: by interfering, you're merely handing him two foes instead of one. Tread cautiously before you entangle yourself in the affairs of a lad whose warrior's soul yearns for retribution."

What did he mean by an outsider?

I blinked, shifting my gaze away from Askeladd. Unsettling as it was, he had a point. Revealing the truth might not prompt Thorfinn to abandon Askeladd, but rather fuel his thirst for vengeance, should he ever succeed in killing him.

And as for Askeladd...

Returning my focus to him, I narrowed my eyes at the infuriating smirk gracing his lips. "You certainly enjoy the sound of your own voice, don't you?"

"Well, what can I say? I've got a voice as melodious as a skald's song. But enough about me, I'd much rather talk about you." Askeladd remarked with that familiar twinkle in his eyes, as if he held some undisclosed knowledge about me. Yet, what more could he possibly know? He was already privy to my secret, and by some miracle, he hadn't divulged that nugget of information to anyone, aside from perhaps Bjorn.

He pointed a finger in my direction, his expression shifting to one of false curiosity, the whites in his eyes showing. "Your father wouldn't happen to be named Rowan, would he? Though, I must admit, there are countless Rowans in Ireland, but this particular one had a surname. What was it now?" Askeladd paused, pretending to struggle with his memory, clearly waiting to see if I would supply the missing name. It was as if he was testing me, observing my reaction, because...

My father's name was Rowan. Rowan…

"O'Neill? Yes, that's the one. Rowan O'Neill," Askeladd concluded, his gaze fixed on mine, undoubtedly studying my response. I was certain I was giving one Hell of a reaction. How did he... Why...?

He was clearly luring me in, yet I couldn't resist taking the bait. I needed to know. My mind…I needed to calm down. I couldn't get worked up yet, especially in front of this murderer. "How do you know that name?"

Askeladd had the audacity to feign surprise. "So, that was your father? Well, that's quite unfortunate," he remarked casually.

Feeling the tension coil within me, I dug my nails into my palms. "Enough with the games. Tell me how you know that name," I spat out, my anger boiling over. And how did he connect it to me? Bjorn obviously repeated to him what I had said yesterday, but how did he put two and two together?

Did it even matter?

"Now, now," Askeladd began, raising his hands in mock surrender. "There's no need to get upset with me. I'm just the messenger here." His demeanor shifted, the smirk returning to his lips. "Near the end of winter, a contract came through for your father."

My heart skipped a beat. "What sort of contract?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

He leaned in, his tone mocking. "What do you think?" he retorted. Then, reclining back, he continued, "We'd already signed on for another contract at that point, so I had to pass. But, figured you should know, seeing as you're kin and all."

Standing there, facing Askeladd, I was stumped. What should I even ask? Who on earth would want to harm my dad? He was just a regular guy, kind-hearted and easygoing. He didn't have any enemies, as far as I knew. Was it about his property? His money?

My heart galloped in my chest, but I willed it to slow down. I had to remain calm.

I…had to.

"Wh-" I swallowed, then started again with a stronger voice, "Who issued the contract?"

"Who knows. I couldn't give a damn about the specifics of a denied contract." His mocking smile didn't falter when he continued nonchalantly, "So, what's your next move?"

I was clueless, lost in the whirlwind of Askeladd's words, grappling with their implications. Were they….dead…and I didn't even know it yet? The mere notion was unbearable. My father, mother, two sisters... the mere thought paralyzed me.

What should I do? Where should I go?

How…

How…

And where?...

Where do I go?

"Listen up," Askeladd started again when I didn't answer him right away, too lost in my own thoughts, "our next port of call's near Aberdeen. Once we're ashore, it's just a day's stroll for you." His hand that was resting at his side came up, palm up, and I followed the movement, feeling numb. "Seek out a convoy there, they'll ferry you back to Ireland if you are willing to part with a few less coins."

His words held weight, offering a path forward, yet as I met his gaze once more, I detected only a self-satisfied smirk. It was as if he cared little for the outcome, leaving me to wonder about his true intentions. Why extend his help, why grant me that glimmer of possibility?

Why was he such an ass, twenty-four/seven?

He clearly wished to rid himself of my presence, that much was undeniable. Yet, instead of resorting to a more permanent solution, the only reasoning I could come up with was that he remained bound by his solemn oath, perhaps swayed by the reverence he held for his ancestor. It was reassuring that he had sworn to ensure my safety, and that extra layer of caution I had thought of by including himself in the vow looked to be paying off for me.

However, the question persisted: why not just leave me behind?

I waved my hand in front of me, and said nonchalantly, "Just wanna get out of here alive," then added hastily, "and unscathed."

Swearing on his ancestor really meant everything to him. What a strange man. But at that moment, I didn't care.

"Fine," I conceded. "Once we are ashore again, I'll head to Aberdeen."

With a dramatic sweep of his arms, he cast them wide, his face illuminated by feigned joy. "Great! Let's not dally any longer, my lady." Half-facing me, he executed an eccentric half-bow, gesturing towards his awaiting ships. "Our sails eagerly await us."

I strode past him, refusing to grant him the satisfaction of acknowledging how his sudden display of eccentricity grated on my nerves. As I passed his still-bowing figure, my gaze swept over the pirate crowd, now boarding their ships after loading their spoils. Among them, I spotted Thorfinn, slumped on his fathers ship, lost in contemplation.

Upon boarding the ship myself, disregarding the curious stares and Atli's jests, I settled beside Thorfinn, draping my cloak around me. Lost in his thoughts, Thorfinn paid me little heed at first. I reached for his hand, prompting a flinch from him, but he soon returned the gesture, squeezing my hand under my cloak in return. Half-wondering to myself about the path ahead with Thorfinn, I…contemplated the prospect of having to leave him behind if it came to it.

After all, I was selfish.