Strong

Again, I don't take sole credit for this one-shot

Andy felt like she was living in a strange alternative reality. This couldn't be her life. There's no way what happened was real. No, it couldn't have been. She must have dreamt it, a horrible nightmare that she had yet to wake up from. Her feet were carrying her towards Maya and Carina's, moving in autopilot. Before she knew it, she was knocking on their door. She didn't know what she was going to say. Sue just hoped someone was in. "Andy?" Carina pulled open the door, taking in the disheveled appearance of her friend. "Are you okay?"

Andy looked up at Carina, giving her a view of the tear tracks on her face. "I-I...um. I was on a date and after we-" Andy was cut off when her voice cracked "I- I'm sorry, I just...this was the only place I thought of to go to since I'm not in the right head space to drive."

"Come in Bella..." Carina stepped back, welcoming her into the living room. "Come and sit..."

Andy lets Carina lead her into the apartment and help her to sit on the couch since she was shaky on her feet.

"Maya..." Carina called, wanting her wife's support.

Andy looks up from her lap when she hears footsteps. "I- I'm so sorry for just showing up, I just- I don't even really know what to say right now." Andy looks down again, not being able to look at the couple.

"Andy, what happened?" Maya asked, her tone calm but her eyes clearly anxious.

Andy just continued to look down at her lap. Trying to block out the flashes of what happened but were coming back to her in waves.

"Andy?" Carina knelt down in front of her, reaching for her hand. "You're not okay."

Andy looks Carina in the eyes and feels her chin start to wabble. "I'm-" Andy was going to try to deny it, say that she just had a bad time and make an excuse for the tear tracks on her face, but she just sighed and looked down again. "I know." She admitted, a few tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Andy, what happened on your date?" Maya asked more urgently. "God did he hit you?"

"We went for dinner at this restaurant nearby," Andy started. "He had a burger, I had steak and we ended up sharing fries. Things were going so well, I thought maybe I had finally chosen a good guy after everything. I felt myself relax around him, without alcohol," Andy tensed up, thinking about Jeremy, how he kept giving her shots and beers and got her crazy drunk. "When we were done eating I mentioned how I had a good time but that it was getting late and wanted to go home" Andy stopped "We were leaving and um- we got to his car and w-we...I-" Andy started to choke up "I-I can't do this," Andy said, getting off the couch and stumbling to the bathroom where she threw up the contents of her stomach. A few seconds later she felt a hand on her back and flinched, trying to move away from the unexpected touch.

Carina knelt beside her, whispering words of comfort as Andy continued to throw up. "It's okay...you're safe..."

Andy leans back into Carina's arms when she's finished. Unable to stop the sobs that rack her body. Finally letting what happened tonight sink in.

"I've got you..." Carina hummed, rocking her gently.

Andy kept sobbing for what felt like hours when she heard Maya come in and a few seconds later she felt a blanket being wrapped around her, the blanket warming her up since she was still in just the dress that she wore on her date.

"Andy?" Carina whispered gently. "We need to take you to the hospital, my love."

Andy closes her eyes and shudders, unable to form any words.

"I know it's probably a really scary thought right now, but we need to check you out."

"I can't go through it again." A few tears fall from her eyes. "I can't, Carina. Please. Please don't make me go through it again." Andy begged, turning to face her.

"Andy, it's really important you let me take a look at you at the hospital. You're hurt and what happened to you was not okay."

"I'm aware." Andy snapped and went to stand up but got hit with a wave of dizziness and fell back down. "Carina, please. The last time was bad, and I was just attacked then. This time you'd be poking and prodding everywhere and I- I can't. I can't just sit through it. Please."

"Andy, you know how important the exam is."

"Put yourself in the best position to be believed. Ben told me, so yeah, I know." Andy repeated. "But do you remember your words from that night, Carina?" Andy paused, flushing the toilet, closing the lid, and sitting on top. "Do you? "Control was taken from you tonight, we would like to give it back to you." Is what you said to me." Andy looked up at her. "Forcing me to do a rape kit is not going to give me control back."

"No one said anything about forcing you to do anything." Carina reminded gently.

"Carina, I can't. Please." Andy pleaded.

"Andy?" Maya joined them in the bathroom. "I know you must be terrified right now. And you absolutely don't have to do the rape kit if you don't want to, but Carina needs to examine you. Give you the medical care you need."

Andy looked up at Maya and then looked back to Carina. "I-" Andy started but got choked up and looked down at her hands again. "Fine." Andy gave in, not having the energy to fight anymore.

"Why don't I come with you? Won't leave your side" Maya promised.

Andy didn't give a verbal answer, but just looked at Maya and nodded.

"I'll get Thea ready and then I can drop her into daycare once we get to the hospital."

"Oh my god." Andy suddenly stood up, gripping the counter for support when she was hit by another wave of dizziness. "I- I'm so sorry. I wasn't even thinking about Thea." Andy shakes her head. "Maya, are you sure you don't just want to stay with her here?"

"I'm coming with you. Thea will be happy to spend time with Bailey for a couple of hours. This is important Andy."

"So is your daughter, Maya."

"We're coming with you."

"Fine," Andy said, gripping the blanket around her tighter, still feeling cold.

Once Thea was settled in Miranda's office, Maya met Andy and Carina in Carina's office. "Dr Wilson is just setting up an exam room for us now."

Andy's only able to nod, feeling terrified.

"You're going to be okay" Maya reassured, even though was worried for her best friend.

Andy feels tears well up in her eyes, hating that she's not able to have better control of her emotions, and lets out a quiet "hope so."

"We're all ready to go." Jo appeared at the door.

Andy tenses up and suddenly feels unable to move.

"Come on..." Carina held out her hand. "I've got you, Bella."

Andy grabs her hand and follows.

"Andy? Are you wanting to proceed with the rape kit or just the physical exam?" Carina asked.

Put yourself in the best position to be believed. Ben's words rang in her ears. "I don't want the guy to get away with what he did to me. I guess the rape kit. "

Carina nodded. "Of course."

"So, what's first?" Andy asked. "Clothes? Or am I doing the consent form again?"

"We'll need to get your consent at every step."

Andy's voice cracks, "Okay"

"We can take a break anytime you need to."

Andy can only nod.

"Hey...I'm here..." Maya took her hand.

"Once we've done the initial part of the exam Maya, we'll sit you beside her," Carina told them.

Andy listened to them talk. Frozen on the spot while Maya held her hand.

"Got it" Maya nodded, sitting beside Andy.

"Now what?" Andy asked, trying not to panic.

"Now...we start."

It feels like it's all she's been doing for the past half hour, but Andy just nods.

"Remember...you're in control here. We take a break whenever you need it."

Andy nods again. "Okay".

Maya gave her hand another squeeze "You got this."

Andy looks at Maya and squeezes her hand back, waiting for Carina to start.

Carina started the process, hating seeing how hard this was for Andy.

Andy was sitting through the exam quietly, only speaking to say I consent or yes to answer Carina and Jo's questions. Andy heard Carina ask if she was okay with the next part of combing through her hair to collect samples and Andy felt her body tense. Memories flooding back. She registered Carina calling her, asking if she wanted to stop. "Stop!" Andy exclaimed, letting go of Maya's hand as she started to have trouble breathing.

Carina held her hands up to show she had stopped immediately. "Andy. Breathe for me."

"I-I-I'm...T-Try-Trying."

"Breath me with. Nice and slow..." Carina demonstrated.

Andy follows Carina's breathing technique, and her breathing slows after a few minutes but then she breaks down in tears, unable to hold them back anymore.

"It's okay, Andy. It's going to be okay." Maya immediately jumped up to comfort her friend.

Andy just keeps sobbing, burying her head in her hands, body shaking with her sobs, nearly falling out of the medical chair she was seated in.

"It's a lot to take in" Carina soothed. "You're doing so well."

Andy takes a few more minutes to calm down before letting out a choked, sarcastic chuckle. "Doing so well?" Andy sniffles, "how is breaking down like this, doing well?"

"Because you're here."

"Only because I showed up at your place."

"And that was a smart decision."

"I guess" is all Andy can say, trying to get her tears under control.

"Take as long as you need," Carina told her, not wanting to push Andy right now.

Andy nods, takes a couple more minutes to wipe away her tears, calm her breathing, and exhales. "I consent."

"Okay. We'll continue."

The cycle of "I consent" continues for what seems like forever until Andy gives one last "I consent" to Carina for her blood to be drawn.

"You did so well" Carina praised when they were done. "Do you want to go shower now?"

"If I can, yes. Please." Andy got off the chair, nearly falling over from having been sat in the chair for over an hour.

"Let me help..." Maya took her hand.

Andy nods and accepts Maya's help.

Maya led her to the showers. "I'll be right outside."

Andy turns the shower on and waits for it to get warm before stepping under. She grabs soap and just starts cleaning everywhere. She scrubs so hard in some places that she leaves red marks, wanting to get the feel of him off her. When she got to her thighs, she saw the handprint bruises she had been left with by her date, her eyes watered. She finished rinsing off the soap and did everything else she needed to and stepped out a few minutes later, dried off and put on the hospital sweats and hoodie that Carina had given her.

"What do you want to do now? Are you feeling up to talking to the police?

Andy sighs. "Not really feeling up to anything right now, but I know I need to." Andy paused "Any chance I can get female cops this time though," Andy asked, looking at Carina.

"Of course. Let me go speak to them."

Andy nods.

Carina went to speak to the officers, finding them a suitable place to talk to Andy.

Andy waited for Carina to come back to let her know where she was going to be interviewed.

"Andy, the officers are both female and ready to talk to you. Maya is going to stay with you."

Andy nods her head and begins to answer the officer's questions. Maya occasionally squeezes her hand to offer support. When the officers had the exam results and Andy's statement they left. Andy lets go of Maya's hand and exhales, wiping away the tears that had fallen during the interview. Carina comes back into the room and tells Andy that she'll be staying with them tonight since it is late, and Carina doesn't want her to be alone at her apartment anyway.

"Let's go home..." Carina wrapped an arm around Andy's shoulders.

Andy leans into Carina's gentle touch, exhausted from how her day had turned out.

"Do you go to get some food?"

Andy shakes her head. "I really don't think I could stomach anything right now. Should probably drink some water though."

"We'll get you something once we're home."

Andy nods. She watched Maya get Thea settled into the car seat in the back before getting in the back herself, resting her head against the car window, and before she knew it, they were back at Carina and Maya's apartment.

"I'll go get Thea settled and get the guest room set up" Carina decided, "you two go and make yourselves comfy.

Maya and Andy made their way over to the couch after grabbing something to drink from the kitchen. They sat down and soon after Carina joined them. The couple saw Andy yawn an hour after coming home and started to lean on Carina's shoulder, her eyes closed, exhausted. "I'm so tired."

"Go to sleep...you're safe here..."

Andy listens to Carina and closes her eyes, sleep coming a few seconds later.

"Poor Andy" Maya sighed.

Andy was sleeping on Carina's shoulder while the couple was just talking. A half hour had passed, and the couple decided they should get Andy to bed. Maya carefully lifted Andy and brought her to the guest room and got her under the covers. Carina and Maya made their way toward their bedroom, got changed, and fell asleep too. It was a couple hours later, around 3am, when Andy woke up with a scream. She sat up in bed and started hyperventilating. The last time Andy could think of this happening was the night she found out her mother was still alive, and she couldn't control her breathing. Every time she tried to she couldn't. She wanted to call out for Carina or Maya but couldn't get words to come out of her mouth and started to panic more, tears rolling down her cheeks.

Maya ran into the bedroom, climbed onto the bed, and sat in front of Andy. "It's okay... you're okay."

Andy just looks at Maya with wide, scared eyes and still hyperventilating.

"Copy my breathing. In and out...nice and slow..." Maya coaxed.

Andy tried to copy Maya but no matter how hard she tried, her breathing was getting worse, seeming like she was on the verge of collapsing. As a firefighter, she knew the symptoms and tried to get it under control, but it wasn't working, and was really hoping Maya would notice.

"Andy...you need to calm down. Come on...copy me..." she placed Andy's hand on her chest. "Match my breathing."

Andy closed her eyes, trying to block everything else out to focus on Maya. She felt Maya's heartbeat and slowly started to get her breathing under control. When she did, she rested her head on Maya's shoulder, absolutely exhausted from everything life was throwing her way.

"You're doing well. Just keep breathing."

Andy listened to Maya, her breathing getting back to normal as time went on and then she spoke. "I'm so tired, Maya." A tear rolled down her right cheek, her head still resting on Maya's shoulder. "I'm just so tired of everything."

"You've been through a horrendous experience, but you're going to get through it."

Andy can't bring herself to say anything. She just pulls back from Maya and wipes the tear stains on her cheeks.

"I know nothing I can say right now can change how you feel but, you're not in this alone okay? Not now, not ever."

Andy nods. "Please tell me I didn't wake Carina or Thea with my scream?" Andy asked Maya.

"They're absolutely fine, don't worry for a second." Maya told her.

"Thank you." Andy cuddled against Maya, drawing comfort from her warmth. Even though she knew the road to recovery was long and uncertain, with Maya and Carina by her side, she knew that no matter how long it took, there was light at the end of the tunnel.