Having the rug ripped from under your feet will always cause a burn.
"I want a divorce."
Sakura was in the middle of peeling decorations off their front door. She paused, slowly turning to her husband. Everyone's left by now, their exhausted daughter tucked in her from her birthday party hours before.
Was it because of the party? She included him in every step - what balloons would Kazumi like, how many, should they be taped on the ceiling, should they enlist some help to decorate?
Was it because she catered it? She was too tired from her shifts to even think about cooking on top of everything else, and poured over time hours into making sure to give Kazumi the best of the best. She knows he's not the biggest fan of gatherings, but he assured her that he'd do anything for their daughter, even if it drained his social battery.
"What?" It's all she can ask, because the air is out of her lungs.
As if reading her mind - of course he could, you couldn't not after being together since you were teens - "It's not because of today." He says this as if it makes a difference.
She's sure that it doesn't. "Where is this coming from?" She can tell he's trying not to scoff. She waits for him to respond.
"I'm not happy." He doesn't add ' anymore '. Was he ever? She always believed they both were.
She gets the feeling he intended to say "we".
She can't hold the rage. It travels through her body like a swarm of wasps - itching at her skin, drilling all over her. It's a blessing Kazumi is a heavy sleeper, because there's no cries heard from upstairs when she starts throwing everything within reach at him.
So, she doesn't. He never expected her to. He knew she would react, and he knows he deserves it. The balloons fall all around her. She reaches for shoes, for boxes, anything . She's hurt and she wants him to feel it, too.
"Why would you do this to me?" She's crying now. It physically exhausts her to say this, her words come out like a primal, guttural sound. She doesn't elaborate what she means because she knows he understands what she meant. Why marry me? Why have a daughter with me? Why do any of this?
The words are unspoken but the silence between them is so loud. There is a heaviness in the air despite the absence of their voices.
He doesn't have to say why. She doesn't know if she wants to accept the truth, or to finally acknowledge the nagging feeling in her gut she's had since they were kids.
She thought he loved her the same way she loved him, or that he'd at least try. That he would love her by now , because there's history. Decades . They've been together longer than most. Why couldn't he just do that? Was it hard to love her?
"Why now?" She says eventually, because she takes pity that he's been holding his arms up to shield against all of the debris she's hurled at him. Why right now, when it's too late?
"It's not fair to you or her." She can tell he wants to say more, but couldn't without making the wound larger. There's a sadness in his voice and she knows he's being sincere. It doesn't help.
"Do you love me?"
"Of course I do." He's crouching next to her, back against the wall, just letting her do whatever she wants. Like he always has.
She presses her forehead against his shoulder, inching closer. Her eyes sting, and she can't help the urge to shake him for more - an explanation, a play-by-play, anything. It doesn't make sense. She refuses to accept it.
"Have you made up your mind?" She doesn't want to beg - this is already humiliating. She looks up to him sucking his teeth, the perpetual frown engraved on his face. He's always frowned. She always excused it as normal.
A montage of their shared life together plays through her mind. She can't recall one genuine smile for her. For Kazumi, millions.
None for her.
"I'm sorry." He says, brushing her hair lazily as she digs her head into his lap.
She doesn't say anything anymore.
Rage was all she felt for the first few months. Blaming Sasuke was all she could do, because it didn't matter how hard she fought in court (and consequently won) on, he wasn't really hurt by any of it. His pockets, sure, and on some level it was clear he was frustrated, but nothing deep.
In the end, he got what he wanted. He got his freedom.
She lost her husband.
Sasuke moved out the following day. The remnants of her destruction - the popped balloons, broken photo frames - she cleaned it all up before Kazumi woke up, but she left it on the ground overnight just to remind herself that it really happened.
He left his side of the bed folded neatly, and seemingly removed all of his clothes while she was orchestrating and entertaining their guests for the party. The perfect opportunity to plan his escape, she mused. He left his key on the banister by the door, texted her that his brother was representing him and to let him know of anything she needed for Kazumi.
Removing himself out of her life felt so seamless - no mess, no proof he was ever there.
She hated it.
A part of her thought he would come back. She thought that he would when it first happened - that he would miss the liveliness of their home, her cooking, sleeping with her, anything . But he didn't.
All she could do to feel anything was fight him on every aspect - the cars, the house, custody. Anything just to have an excuse to see him, if it meant she could be herself and not pretend like she often did in front of their daughter. She was tired of acting like she didn't hate him for doing this to her.
But eventually, that got old, too.
They were both sick of it. The exhaustion on his face for pickups made her feel guilty. She hated being the reason for their growing distance due to her inability to let go.
What good was it for Kazumi if she couldn't stomach being around him without lies? The pride she once felt whenever she won on non-important issues, just to be able to say he lost, meant nothing once the Judge dismissed them from the courtroom. It didn't improve their curt interactions in front of their growing child. It was a temporary fix to her constant need for validation from him.
She hated that she wanted it so badly. She hated herself for wanting to be important to him again.
After their divorce was finalized, she poured her soul into finding herself. She didn't want this pain anymore. She didn't want to give him another reason to think leaving her was the right choice.
She didn't want to hate her friend anymore.
"I miss you." She says, two years later. He cocks a brow and she shakes her head, hands in the air. "Not like that!"
Sasuke stares at her, sitting awkwardly by her side as they wait for Kazumi's teacher to come in for their daughter's first parent conference. They haven't been this physically close in years. His hair grew longer, just above his shoulders, his bangs parted to the side. She almost forgot how his cologne smelled. Almost.
In her mind, it seemed like the perfect time to rekindle their friendship (or what was left of it). They couldn't hang out with Naruto like they used to when everything went to shit, and she knew where the blond's loyalties were. It made sense.
Still, she missed being with her closest childhood friends, even if one of them was her ex.
"Me, too." He says after some time, eventually reaching to poke her forehead like he used to do when they were younger. She caught a glimmer of amusement in his eyes as he pulled his hand away.
He doesn't mean it like that. She reminds herself, but it's hard to ignore the heat on her cheeks.
She asks him if he'd be interested in going to a bar with everyone like old times. He shrugs and reluctantly agrees.
She buries her excitement when Kazumi's teacher walks in, pouring infinite praises for their daughter.
All of the focus on toning her body, self-improvement, and the many, many therapy sessions during her lunch breaks over the past two years have brought Sakura to her most confident self for the late night reunion.
There is something to be said about the need for validation after such a messy divorce, but she doesn't care. She does want attention. She wants people to see her not as a depressed woman, but a confident one who rose above the sadness. Even if she had to fake some of the feelings, with just enough makeup and tequila shots, she could do it.
She's enjoying the buzz in good company, excited beyond words that Hinata finally can drink alcohol again. "I missed this so much!" She beamed, pinching her friend's cheeks lightly. Ino is cackling in the booth, aggressively typing on her phone (what she can only presume to be an after-hours e-mail), while TenTen chugged her beer without much care. Hinata nods, gently bringing her hands off her face.
The guys are at the table adjacent to the booth, talking amongst themselves - Naruto rambling loudly to a much annoyed Sasuke, Kiba arm wrestling Lee, Shikamaru and Temari keeping score.
It felt like old times. Waves of nostalgia hit Sakura. She couldn't recall the last time they all got together. Probably since Sasuke left me. She muses.
"Will you take a shot with me?" Sakura asked Hinata and Ino, threatening to pucker her lower lip. Hinata nods slowly, agreeing for the sake of keeping her friends happy. Ino was already reaching for the server's collar to order another round for all. After the server returned with the drinks, Sakura and TenTen counted down to the four women downing the glasses of Suerte.
Hinata is wincing, her face scrunched up from the after taste. She immediately snatches a lime from the bowl in the center of their table, sucking off the peel.
"Atta girl!" Sakura cheered, enjoying the sight. She looked over and could see Sasuke's gaze lingering.
For a moment, in her drunken haze, she thought he was giving her the smile she never sees. Her heart flutters.
She blinks, and sees that he's not looking her way at all. When she turns back, she realizes that he's watching Hinata.
Sakura walked away from that evening with four free drinks and two phone numbers, but none of the attention she left with filled the void.
She was still stuck on Sasuke's smile. One that was not for her.
He never thought about Hinata much when they got older. There were few and far situations where he'd ever be in her immediate sphere. Sometimes birthdays, rarely holidays. He mostly saw Naruto and even that was on first time he really saw her since Naruto's wedding was the night Sakura invited him with their old friends.
Truthfully, he did miss having Sakura in his life. In spite of their excruciatingly long divorce, he didn't resent her for giving him shit. He accepted that he deserved to at least face her anger without much resistance.
He was just relieved to not be fighting with her anymore.
"She's been looking forward to this for weeks!" Naruto laughed, scoffing his beer down. He points to his wife, bringing Sasuke to look at the women taking down what he presumed to be tequila shots.
Seeing Hinata's reaction to the liquid made him want to laugh. Her nose flared and from where he stood, he could see tears form out of disgust. He couldn't hide his smile when she desperately reached for a lime to quench the sourness.
She's still cute, he thinks. Time did nothing but reinforce what he's always thought when he could get away with looking at her.
"Here." He hands her a cold water bottle, startling the meek housewife from looking at her phone screen. Everyone else was enjoying the dance floor except for them. He slid into the opposite side of the booth, watching Hinata's mouth curve up into a small smile.
"Thank you, Uchiha-san." She says softly, but despite the rowdiness of the bar, her voice rang loud in his ears.
He scoffed. "I'm not a stranger. You can say Sasuke."
She nods, scratching her cheek. Did she always do that? Why is he trying to remember this anyhow? "Thank you, Sasuke." She corrects, cheeks flushed.
"You shouldn't drink anymore. Sakura doesn't drink anything less than 15%."
"She was so happy that I did, though." She shrugged, unscrewing the cap to bring the water to her lips. He tried not to stare, but it was hard. He averted his eyes to her throat as she swallowed more.
"Teme, come on!" Naruto runs back up the short set of stairs to the booth, tugging his arm. He turns to his wife. "Hina, you doin' alright? Want to go home?"
She raised the water bottle. "Sasuke gave me one. I'll stay here." She smiled softly.
"Always the gentleman." Naruto rolled his eyes. "We'll be back. Let me know when you wanna leave." He says before kissing her on her forehead.
Sasuke ignores the public display of affection and her soft laugh. It was better that way.
"I'm not joking. "
The words have been stuck in her head since he saw him.
She told TenTen what happened, and was immediately reprimanded for not flirting back with the Uchiha.
"He's being direct, how could you still think he's messing with you?"
Hinata chewed on her lip, eyes scanning her laptop screen to complete her registration forms for her night classes. She decided to enroll part time online for two classes so she didn't have to change Souta's schedule so much. The topic of their conversation made it hard to concentrate, though.
"But Sakura-"
"Do you think he would have said that to you if he hadn't considered her feelings, too?"
Hinata paused from typing her forms. She really didn't have an answer to that.
TenTen sighed, adjusting her position on Hinata's couch. "You were dancing around the idea before! And now that there's an opening-"
"No." She whined, fingers moving again across her keyboard. "I've got enough on my plate. He's just being nice…"
The brunette groaned, shaking her head. "You're stopping your own blessings."
The next time Hinata sees Sasuke, it's by complete accident.
She was on campus to make a deposit for the spring semester. She decided it was the perfect time to meet with a financial aid advisor since students had yet to return from winter break for the semester. She didn't anticipate the meeting to go over an hour, though, and realized to her dismay that she still hadn't eaten lunch by the time she finalized the logistics for her coursework.
Feeling the pain in her stomach as she left the office, she approached the nearest vending machine for a snack to hold her over. She inserted coins and pressed the code for the bag of cookies. As the machine was dispensing it, she watched the coils rotate. Waiting for the bag to fall, she gasped when the bag of cookies got stuck on the edge, dangling slowly off the edge.
She frowned, realizing that she was out of coins and thus, unable to try again for her snack.
Before she could walk away to search elsewhere for a replacement snack, she saw an arm reach forward and knock on the glass of the machine harshly. She winced at the sound, and turned slowly to find Sasuke towering over her, disregarding the bag of cookies that fell for her to reach.
"Thank you!" She sighed, flustered. She didn't want to ask what he was doing here, but she was thinking it.
Before he could say anything, Hinata's stomach grumbled loudly again. Her face must have invented a new shade of red from embarrassment. Amused, he cocked a brow. "Is this your lunch?"
"Um-"
"The cafeteria's open." He pointed his thumb behind him. "I haven't eaten either."
It was hard for her to come up with an excuse to leave the situation when he wasn't really giving her the choice to back out of it. Nodding, she followed his lead, having forgotten the landscape of the university.
"Why are you here?" She asked eventually as they stood before an ordering screen, cookies safely tucked in her tote bag. She tried to order on a separate machine, but he insisted they just order together.
"Went to visit my old professor. Did you ever take Kakashi's Ethics course?" He pressed the button for tomato soup and after adding it to the cart, then shifted to the side to allow her to review the menu. She mumbled a thank you when she approached it, scanning through the options for something light. She didn't want to eat a full meal with him, especially with their last encounter heavily on her mind.
"I think I took Anko's…" She said, settling on a side salad and a fruit cup. She added a water bottle before pressing the cart button to pay.
He lifted his arm to stop her from pulling her wallet out for her card. "I got it."
"No, it's okay, allow me-"
Ignoring her protests, he tapped his phone on the screen, evading the back and forth before she could pull her card out. "You didn't have to." She grimaced, following him back to an empty table. "But thank you, Sasuke."
A student approached their table after a couple minutes with their orders and they immediately began to eat. "What about you?" He asks in between sips.
"Oh!" She placed her fork down on her plate. "I just made a deposit for some classes."
She noticed his cheek twitch up faintly. "That's good to hear. What classes?"
She found herself unable to stop her word vomit, talking in detail about some introduction to education classes for her new major, then lamenting having wasted so many credits on a degree she no longer wanted. She told him that she would be taking asynchronous classes in the evenings so as to not rattle Souta's schedule further, but that she hoped to return to full time status by next May.
Every so often, he'd ask her more about her goals and she found relief in knowing that someone other than her family actually cared to hear what she had to say. It's not that she didn't have support from Hanabi, Neji and her father, but that Sasuke was genuinely asking her more about such topics felt very refreshing.
A part of her couldn't recall the last time a man actually engaged in conversation with her about something she was interested in. Did Naruto ever care about her thoughts on topics that weren't related to him?
This, of course, made it hard for her to ignore the last declaration he made.
"I think you'd be a great fit as a teacher." He says, reaching for a napkin to wipe the corner of his mouth.
Her fingers squeeze her fork a little tighter than she intended, flustered. "Thank you."
She was grateful that there was no one else in the cafeteria witnessing her stumble along with her words around him. Every time she was around Sasuke, she reverted back to her young, teenage self - self conscious, easily breathless, filled with nerves. It was both exhilarating and terrifying to feel this way after so long.
But she had no reason to be, because he was a friend. And she was grateful to have a new one especially in her current situation.
"Hinata." His voice interrupted the pregnant silence, causing her heart to skip a beat. "I want to apologize."
She blinked. "What for?"
"If I made you uncomfortable…" He scratched his neck with his index finger, sucking his teeth. "...with my teasing last time." She could notice the faint color on his cheeks but shook her head, both at his words and at the thought. He was eating soup, so he must be getting warm from that.
"It's okay!" She says quickly, shaking her hands in the air. "I know it was a joke. I'm getting used to them."
He paused, staring at her. "No, I meant what I said. I just did not intend to offend you."
"...oh."
Hinata focused her gaze on the cantaloupe in her bowl, having saved the biggest pieces for last. She gently pressed the side of her fork into one to cut it in half. Slowly, she picked it up and brought it to her mouth, chewing on the piece softly.
Swallowing nothing, he continued, tugging at his collar awkwardly. "Did I?"
She shook her head, trying to suppress the redness from staining her cheeks again. "N-no." She said eventually, beginning to smile.
"Good." He said, returning to his soup. "Because I didn't intend our first date to be in a place like this."
Hinata floundered, feeling the dizziness rush to her head. "Eh?!"
A/N: What should I be doing? Sleeping. But it's almost 2 AM and all I could think about was this story. I was hesitant to write about Sakura this much, but I felt like it'd be a disservice to not validate and include what she felt when Sasuke left. That said, I also wanted Sasuke and Hinata to interact again and felt satisfied with the direction. Let me know if this was worth staying up to finish! I'm trying to update more frequently while everything's fresh. Also, be on the look out for June - I'm participating in SH Month this year. I won't be able to update much towards end of summer, so please be patient with me when I have to pause. Hope this makes up for that eventual hiatus. P.S. - to those that review, thank you so much. They mean a lot to me. 3