I got a little carried away with this chapter but it has some of my favorite characters in it and I started to ramble. I think this is funny as heck and I hope my readers agree. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Same as before.

Nightwing & Alfred Pennyworth

Nightwing pulled his bike up in front of Wayne Manor. Sanji sat behind him, leaning back so he wouldn't have to cling to Nightwing. Honestly it was impressive, considering how fast they went to get there, that he never had to grab for balance. Nightwing leaped off his bike with his signature flair and Sanji dismounted with quiet poise.

"Before we go in," Nightwing said sternly. He put his hand out, stopping the blond pirate from walking up to the gate. "This house belongs to a very good friend and no one can know that. My identity is a highly guarded secret."

"Don't worry," Sanji shrugged. "I won't say anything and I don't know anyone anyway. Your secret is safe with me."

"It better be," Nightwing sighed as he led the way to his childhood home. He wasn't used to walking in the front door, especially while dressed as Nightwing. This whole thing had him jumpy but he was worried about Alfred so he put aside his misgivings.

"Nice place," Sanji said as they walked up the door and Nightwing rang the doorbell.

"It is," Nightwing agreed but left it at that.

They had to wait for a few minutes but eventually Alfred opened the door for them.

"Master D… Nightwing, good evening. We have been expecting you," the English butler greeted him warmly. "And your friend? Is he another pirate?"

"Yes, Mr. Pennyworth." Wow, that felt weird to say. Nightwing almost laughed. "This is Blackleg Sanji, the cook of the Straw-hat Pirates."

"This way, gentlemen," Alfred said with only a little smile. He led the way to the kitchen, where a big man with green hair was calmly sipping tea.

"Mr. Roronoa, let me introduce Nightwing and I believe you know the other gentleman."

"Really Mosshead?!" Sanji exclaimed. "How'd you find your way here?"

"Leave off, Spiral Brow," Roronoa shouted, coming to his feet. "Where were you? Where are the others?"

"I've been looking for the rest of our crew, I bet you were taking nap!" Sanji shouted back. "At least you didn't cut this house like you cut that ship."

"Shut up, pervert cook, before I cut you," the swordsman yelled, pulling out a katana. He still had two in his belt.

"Both of you sit down," Alfred ordered. Nighwing watched with surprise as both pirates abruptly sat down, though they were still glaring at each other with enough heat to cause sparks. "There, much better. Let me get a couple more cups of tea."

Alfred returned to the stove. Nightwing joined the pirates at the table and studied them. Sanji he was starting to get to know but this new pirate was a puzzle. He certainly looked more like a pirate with his swords and scars but he was polite and attentive to Alfred even as he argued with his crewmate.

"Master Nightwing, are you hungry or will you be running off right away?" Alfred asked as he set the cups of tea on the table.

"I think we can take a minute for your amazing food, Mr. Pennyworth," Nightwing agreed. "We need to wait to hear from Batman anyway."

"As you wish," Alfred turned to make something and Sanji jumped to his feet. Nightwing tensed in his chair, ready to intervene if he needed to.

"No, we are guests," Sanji said gently as he guided Alfred into a chair. "Let me make something for you and Nightwing as thanks for your hospitality." He glanced over at his crewmate. "I'll even make something for the walking plant."

Alfred looked over at Roronoa who shrugged. "Let the ero-cook do his thing. You won't regret it and it'll shut him up,"

"Aww, Marimo," Sanji gushed teasingly. "That might be the nicest thing you ever said to me."

"And I already regret it," Roronoa said, rising to his feet. "Call me when the food is ready, I need to train."

"Go with him, Nightwing," Alfred said, surprisingly not arguing. Maybe he was worried about his kitchen if a fight broke out. "I'll stay with Mr. Sanji."

Nightwing shrugged and followed the pirate out the door. "Wait up and I'll show you where the gym it," he called out to man who was already halfway down the hall.

The man stopped and waited for Nightwing to catch up, his arms crossed over his scarred chest. Luckily the gym was on this floor, and it only took them a minute to get there, even though the pirate tried to turn around at one point.

In the gym, the swordsman looked round a minute before approaching the free weights. He picked up the biggest weight Bruce had and dropped it with a disappointed look on his face.

"Do you have anything heavier?" he asked. "I can't train with these."

"I don't think so, Mr. Roronoa," Nightwing said with a shrug. He looked at the weight in surprise, it was 500 pounds. How much did the guy usually lift?

"Call me Zoro," the swordsman said. He was looking around for another option.

"Okay, Zoro." He looked around for something else for the man to use. He noticed stack of bamboo practice swords, called shinai, in the corner. He knew he wasn't a swordsman, but as Nightwing, he was adaptable. Maybe it could work. "How about a match?" he asked, pointing at the shinai.

Zoro followed his gesture and smiled, but it wasn't a nice smile, more feral than Dick was comfortable with. Still, the pirate nodded and moved to the mat and started to remove his katana and over coat. Man, the guy had muscles. He could probably put Bane on his back. And that scar, Dick didn't want to think about how much that must have hurt or how he got it. Or who gave it to him. It was better not to think about it.

"You're not a swordsman," Zoro said as Nightwing tossed him a shinai.

"Nope," the hero agreed, but he took the proper stance since he had taken lessons. Bruce had insisted.

"But you are a fighter," Zoro said approvingly as he copied the stance.

"You could say that," Nightwing agreed.

Zoro raised an eyebrow and attacked. The first clash flung Nightwing's weapon across the room and left him with a numb hand. Impressed, he retrieved the shinai and took his stance again. This time it took three hits to knock the weapon out of his hand. Zoro was grinning again and Nightwing gulped. After Dick got feeling in his hand again, they tried again and they clashed for over half a dozen blows before Nightwing was disarmed and on his back.

"Not bad for a beginner. Luffy couldn't do that," Zoro said, helping him up.

"That's your captain right?" Nightwing asked. He located his practice sword but didn't pick it up yet. "Are you saying you're stronger than your captain?"

"No, I'm saying he can't fight with a sword. He has his own style, just like I do, or that stupid cook." He walked over and picked up Nightwing's shinai and another from the stack. "I use the three-sword style."

Nightwing was confused. First, that was his weapon. Second, how can he hold three swords and fight? Third, what was he talking about? "What are you talking about?" he finally asked.

Zoro snorted. "You're good and you're a fast learner, but you're not a swordsman. What is your style?"

"Oh, so this is a 'I'll show you mine, if you show me yours' thing?" Nightwing said, comprehension dawning. He picked up his Escrima sticks. "Sounds fair."

Zoro nodded and put one of the shinai in his mouth and crouched in a fighting stance. Nightwing tried not to laugh and put up his arms in a defensive position. "That can't taste very good," he bantered.

Zoro grinned around the hilt and flung himself forward. It was on. No longer weighed down by an unfamiliar weapon and style, Nightwing held his own against the pirate, mostly by making sure that the bigger man couldn't land a hit. Batman had taught him how to fight a stronger opponent and he had lots of practice. He flipped and dodged and deflected all of Zoro's moves. The sword in the mouth was the hardest to compensate for since he wasn't sure how to predict it. At first he thought it would be a weak point, a quick disarm, but Zoro's mouth was like a vise and even a direct hit didn't make him flinch. It didn't take long for them to move off the mats, and Nightwing led the pirate into the gymnastics gear. He figured he'd have the advantage there, and he did until Zoro cut the balance beam in half. Then they were both brought out of the fight by a shrill whistle.

"Shitty moss head, don't break their stuff," Sanji cursed from the door. "Come on, food's ready."

Nightwing stared at the balance beam, which had been sheered cleanly in half. "How the heck did you do that? Those are practice swords!"

"I can cut anything," Zoro said dismissively. "That was fun. We should do that again."

"No, you muscle head," Sanji snapped. "No fighting in the mansion, no sparring with our allies, and no cutting shit in half." It would have been a more believable lecture if Sanji wasn't trying to kick Zoro in the head as he said it.

"Make me, cook," Zoro growled.

He had put his coat and swords back on, but now he drew two swords. One he barely brought up in time to block a hit from Sanji's foot. This devolved into a sparring match with much more room than their aborted attack in the kitchen. Nightwing watched in awe as the two pirates really went at each other. As an outsider, it looked like they were trying to kill each other. Every kick from Sanji was strong enough to break stone and every slash from Zoro made the air whistle. Yet, neither landed any hits nor moved more than a few feet in any direction. It was amazing, but when Sanji's leg started to burn and Zoro had drawn his third katana, it was time to stop. Luckily, Alfred came to the same conclusion.

"Gentlemen, the food is getting cold," the butler said politely. He clapped his hands twice and the sound echoed in the big room as the pirates separated. "Come now." Alfred walked over and took Zoro's arm and led him out of the gym. "Can't have you getting lost," he explained while Zoro moped.

Sanji snickered as he lit a cigarettes. "The lout likes you," Sanji said around a puff of smoke.

"How can you tell?" Nightwing asked, unsure where that came from.

"He was getting serious," Sanji shrugged. "I like your style, maybe later you and I could have a go."

"I think you guys are trying to kill me," Dick joked as they walked into the kitchen. There was a whole spread laid out, way more than the little snack he was expecting. "Whoa! When did you have the time to make all this?"

"Mr. Blackleg is very talented," Alfred said as he sat down. Zoro was already digging in and Nightwing hurried to follow his example. "He even taught me a few tricks."

"I want your recipe for orange cranberry scones, though," Sanji interjected. "You promised."

"So I did," Alfred agreed as he served himself.

They were halfway through the meal when Batman finally called. Nightwing swallowed a mouthful of excellent roasted fish, which he usually wasn't fond of, and answered.

"Nightwing, do you have the pirates with you?" Batman asked.

"Yes, sir. Blackleg Sanji and Roronoa Zoro are here."

A new voice came over the receiver. It sounded young and very excited. "Zoro's there? Cool, did he get lost? What about Sanji? Can he make me a lunch box? A Pirate Lunchbox with lots of meat and no veggies! Sanji, can you hear me? Food!" The voice was yelling loud enough that everyone at the table could hear him over the phone.

Nightwing sighed and put it on speaker so everyone could join the conversation. Sanji looked at him for permission before speaking. "Yes, Luffy, I'll make you a lunchbox. Are you okay? Did you find any of the others?"

"I didn't get lost," Zoro mumbled.

"Yosh! I met Batguy and he said he'd help me after I beat up these guys with guns and he took me to meet Mr. Mustache who had Ussop in custard and then the cat-lady showed up with Nami and Batguy says he knows where Franky and the Sunny are and something about a croc which I hope isn't Sand Croc but I don't know if we're still enemies but I still don't like him because he made Vivi cry. Oh and we're going to Brook's concert with a clown," Luffy explained (Seriously that is the captain for these two powerhouses? This was such a weird pirate crew)

"Did you understand any of that?" Alfred asked, a little overwhelmed. Nightwing nodded in agreement. He couldn't fathom any of that. It was like talking to a toddler, a toddler on a sugar high.

"That's just Luffy," Zoro dismissed their concern. "Luffy, what do you need from us?"

"Batguy?" Luffy must have turned away because his voice drifted slightly. "Batguy says bring Nightwing to the concert. It'll be fun! If Brook's putting on a concert I bet the others will come to."

"Luffy, you take care of Nami. You hear me? Take care of Nami!" Sanji yelled into the phone.

"Shihihih, yosh," Luffy laughed. "Bye."

"Nightwing, are you still there?" Batman asked.

"Yes, what was that?" Nightwing asked, bewildered.

"Luffy," Batman answered. "Now you know what I've been dealing with tonight. Bring your pirates to the Concert Hall. Joker and one of the pirates have taken it hostage and started selling tickets. There was also a sighting of Poison Ivy in the area, so be careful."

"You got it," Nightwing agreed. "He's selling tickets?"

"Don't ask. Just meet us there. I have three pirates, Commissioner Gordon and Catwoman with me," and he was gone and Nightwing just stared at the phone. He looked up at Alfred, looking for a little guidance from his old caretaker.

"It sounds like you will have a full night, Master Nightwing. Allow Mr. Blackleg and myself to prepare some leftovers for you to take along. I'm sure Batman and Commissioner Gordon will be as hungry as pirates."