I'm back! I've had this written for a while but, well, I'll just say that this time of year leaves me with very little time or energy. Anyway, hope this lives up to expectations.

Poison Ivy & Harley Quinn

The first step to finding someone in Gotham is collect intel. Luckily, Ivy had an idea where to start. She called her friend at Gotham's 911 call center. She met Daisy several years ago at an environmentalist rally. The rally didn't end well once Ivy learned that the organizers were affiliated with a slash and burn outfit. Poison Ivy wrecked the rally and sent the organizers to the hospital with a fatal case of hay-fever but she kept in touch with Daisy. The woman was smart, driven, and compassionate. She never betrayed Ivy's confidence and usually had useful information about what was happening in Gotham's less savory areas. It helped Ivy guess where Batman was so she could avoid him when she was still in the planning stages. This time, she came through again.

"I can't tell you much, Pam," Daisy said quietly over the cell phone. In the background, Ivy could hear people talking and phones ringing, Daisy was on her break. "But I got a call about a kid with a long nose being beat up by a gang. The police picked him up when his plants ate a cruiser." That certainly sounded interesting and unusual enough for comment. She was the only one who used mutated plants in Gotham. "Also, Batman and another kid broke up a street fight down town."

Robin, who was leaning over Ivy's shoulder, listening, spoke up. "That's my crew, but they won't still be there. We don't stay in one place very long."

Ivy nodded understandingly. "That's the kind of dirt I need, Daisy, but we need something fresher. Is anything happening right now?"

"No, sorry, just the usual mayhem," Daisy apologized. "I'll call you if I hear anything."

"Thank you, Daisy, you're a peach." Ivy hung up and looked to her partner. "Your turn, Harl," she said as she tossed Quinn the phone. "Who do you want to call?"

Harley looked at the phone for a minute. "Don't know. I want to get out, stretch my legs. How about we visit the Iceberg Lounge? I bet Penggy'd have an idea!"

Ivy groaned but Harley usually got her way and soon they were pulling up behind the Iceberg Lounge, a fashionable establishment that only stayed open because Oswald Cobblepot paid a lot in lawyer fees. He was a notorious fence and former thief with his beak-like nose in everything. Ivy didn't like him but he was useful and Harley thought he was funny.

Harley banged on the back door until one of the dolled up waitresses opened up. "Hi!" Harley greeted her as the door opened. "We need a pow-wow with your boss."

The girl scowled. "Wait here," she snapped and closed the door in their faces.

"So rude!" Harley griped. She hopped up to sit on an empty crate and started to hum to herself.

"Who are we meeting?" Robin asked curiously.

"Penguin," Ivy answered. "He used to be like us, but semi-retired to run this night club. He fences for most of Gotham's rogues and he tries to keep a tab on everything."

"Information broker," Robin nodded. "And if my crew has made any moves in town, he would have heard about it." She smiled mysteriously, like she was remembering something.

"Something like that," Ivy agreed. Behind her, the door opened revealing the man in question. He was short and dressed in his usual tuxedo with his little umbrella. Ivy eyed it cautiously. Penguin was known for his umbrella weapons.

"Welcome, ladies," Cobblepot said as he stepped into the alley. "While I am always happy to hear from my favorite fem fatales, I must ask you to come after hours next time. I do have a business to run, you know."

"We need information, Penguin," Ivy said. "Our friend, here, has some friends in town and we want to find them."

"Well, you know what they say, birds of a feather," he pointed out, spinning his umbrella. "And what feathers does this flock wear?"

"We're pirates," Robin spoke up, making the club owner jump. He probably hadn't noticed her since she kind of blended into the shadows. "We don't really blend in with the locals." Harley broke down giggling at that, Ivy just sighed.

Surprisingly, Penguin puffed up in annoyance. "Yes, I know there are pirates in Gotham. One has already ruffled my feathers."

"Who?" Harley asked. She flipped down to land behind the stocky man. "I wanted to meet more pirates."

"You would, my dear, but I only found him to be obnoxious. He asked inane questions, ate all my food and took off without telling me where he was going," Penguin explained with a nasally whine, flapping his hands like the flippers of his namesake.

Robin smiled and bent down to put her hand gently on his shoulder. Penguin was always weak when faced with a pretty woman and he melted under her touch. "That must have been the captain," she said. "You fed him?" She walked behind him, trailing a hand over his shoulders. From Ivy's point of view it looked like she was sizing him up but Penguin obviously thought she was hitting on him. He nodded excitedly. "He must have liked you, so he would have talked to you."

Harley perked up. "Like me! You said he was like me," she said excitedly before she leaned down to Penguin's level. "So, what'd he saaaayy?"

Penguin brushed the blond off. "He said he was going to be king and was going to find higher ground to search for his crew."

"That sounds like Luffy," Robin agreed. "He'll be relatively easy to find."

"Why do you say that?" Ivy asked, still watching Penguin with distaste. He was a necessary weed.

"Luffy will show up where there is trouble and he is very strong. I worry more about the rest of the crew." She touched Penguin's shoulder again. "Have you heard about any other pirates?"

"No, my dear, I have not. But I did hear that the Joker was heading toward the concert hall. Like your captain, he is also a magnet for trouble. Perhaps he's heard more scuttlebutt."

Ivy frowned. She didn't like Joker and only a fool trusted him. Plus, Harley was still unhealthily obsessed with him. Dealing with that maniac always left a sour taste in her mouth.

"Thank you," Robin said, turning back to Ivy. "Do you think this Joker can help?"

Put out at losing Robin's attention, Penguin retreated back into his club. Robin and Harley never even noticed he left. Ivy watched with a little grin. The man was so petty.

"Puddin' might know something," Harley was saying. "But he might not want to help. He's a little selfish," she explained to Robin who was listening intently.

"That's one way of putting it," Ivy sighed. "I'd just say he's a rotten nut." She was about to add more when her phone rang. She pulled it out with distaste until she saw it was Daisy. "Daisy?"

"Pam, we just got several calls that Joker is holding hostages in the Concert Hall. I'm calling you because he has a living skeleton with him. Does that sound odd enough for your friend?" She spoke quietly and quickly, like she was in a hurry in a crowded area. She was probably still working.

Ivy sighed. "Is one of your crew a living skeleton?" she asked Robin. She hoped not; then they could avoid Joker and all his craziness.

"Yes, he is our musician, Soul King Brook," Robin explained. "Do you know where he is?"

"Yes," Ivy groaned. "Daisy," she said into the phone, "what can you tell me about the concert hall?"

"Not much, there are no calls coming out of the place. Police are responding but have orders not to try to enter. Here's an interesting fact though, people are buying tickets to get in. Bet you could get in easy, if you can get through the police blockade," Daisy laughed.

"Thanks, Dais," Ivy said. "You should expect some herbal teas in the mail. I've been experimenting with stamina enhancers."

"Looking forward to it. Hey, I gotta get back to work, later." Daisy hung up quickly.

Ivy looked up at her friends. "We're going to the Gotham Concert Hall. Joker and the skeleton are putting on a show and selling tickets."

"Oh!" Harley squealed. "A party!"

"I'm sure it will be an exemplary show," Robin added. "Brook is an excellent musician. Luffy only chooses the best."

They got back in the car. Ivy drove because she didn't trust Harley's driving most days, though high speed chases were the exception. The girl was great at losing a tail.

Despite traffic, they were soon a block away from the Concert Hall. There were police cars surrounding the place, keeping the growing crowd of on-lookers away, though even as they drove by they saw a couple sneak by the cops to get to the ticket window. Rather than trying to get through the front, Ivy pulled around to the rear.

Here, only a half a dozen police officers stood guard. "Ready girls?" Ivy said with a dangerous glint in her eye.

"Oh, I am!" Harley exclaimed, pulling out her huge mallet. "We'll knock them out like bowling pins."

"We'll need to be quick," Ivy warned. "The rest of the fools in the front will be on us quickly."

Robin held up her hand. "Let me, please." She got out of the car and walked straight up to the cops. Ivy had to admire her spunk.

"Let us in, please," Robin said with a dangerous smile.

"Are you crazy, lady?" one of the cops exclaimed. "Joker is in there! He's dangerous!"

"I gave you a chance." Robin sighed and crossed her arms, like she had earlier when Ivy and Harley first met her.

"What is she doing?" Harley whispered in Ivy's ear. Honestly, Ivy had no idea. It looked like Robin was about to get arrested.

"Sies Fluer," Robin said softly and hands appeared out of nowhere, sprouting like flowers out of the men's backs and shoulders. The arms grabbed the cops, incapacitating them. She smiled, and Ivy saw a real pirate in her eyes for a second. "Clutch!" Robin said sternly and the arms twisted her victims until their backs popped and they collapsed like felled trees. The arms disappeared in a flurry of flower petals.

"That was amazing!" Harley cried, racing to the pirate's side and giving her a huge hug. Luckily she dropped the mallet or someone would have gotten hurt. "I never knew you had it in you."

"Yeah, yeah," Ivy said, grabbing the clown and pushing her toward the door. "Let's get inside."

Inside, they followed the sound of laughter to a changing room. Joker was lying on a couch, chuckling manically. Before the vanity stood a tall skeleton in gaudy outfit complete with a pink boa. Ivy had to take a second look but he was real. She knew they were meeting a living skeleton but the fact hadn't really taken root. Now it did and she had to take a minute to just stare.

"Brook," Robin said, walking in confidently, barely sparing a glance at the lounging maniac. "Ever a show man."

"Yo ho ho ho, Robin!" the skeleton exclaimed. "It's good to see a familiar face." He approached her and bowed almost in half. "Who are your friends?"

"This is Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy, they've been showing me around," Robin explained.

"And I'm Joker," the crime clown said as he jumped to his feet. "Another pirate? Oooh, this is perfect. The more the merrier. Oh, hi, Ivy, Harls, welcome to the show."

"It's a pleasure, ladies," Brook said. He took Harley's hand and bowed over it. She giggled, charmed by his gentlemanly manners. "May I see you panties?" And the spell was broken.

"What?!" Harley screeched. She grabbed her mallet, that she had dragged in with her, and smacked him a good one, right into the wall.

"Harley!" Joker yelled. "Don't kill my star attraction!"

Before they could panic, Brook sat up and laughed. "Yo ho ho ho, that scrambled my brains! Except I don't have brains." He looked at the women and laughed. "Skull Joke! Yo ho ho ho!"

"Don't you love this guy!" Joker crowed, clapping his hands. "We have a packed house and we're going to put on a show like this town has never seen."

"What are you up to, Joker?" Ivy asked suspiciously. "Gas under the seats, bombs at the exits?" Joker always had a card up his sleeve, a hidden agenda. She didn't trust him.

Joker looked over at Brook who was suddenly serious. "Nope, we made a pact. We even came up with a secret hand shake." He laughed and sat down on the couch like it was a throne. "No, we're just putting on a show. It'll be a killer, just not literally."

"What about security and the cops?" Ivy pressed.

"Yo ho ho ho, the building's security agreed to help us if we gave them free seats!" Brook explained cheerfully. "They are keeping the local authorities out of our hair until we are ready to start."

Robin chuckled. "Sounds like your last concert at Sabody," she said and Brook laughed. She turned to explain to the others. "He announced at the last concert of his tour that he was a pirate and leaving to rejoin our crew. I heard that his fans fought the marines when they tried to arrest him on stage."

Joker stared at her until his eyes started to water then blinked slowly. Then he started laughing hysterically and the crazy skeleton and Harley joined in. "That's, that's," the clown said, trying to catch his breath. "That's so perfect! Oh man, I love this guy!"

Robin and Ivy exchanged a look but the pirate just smiled. Ivy figured she was the closest to sane that this group could manage and wasn't that an odd thought. Ivy was used to being considered one of the crazies, not the mature one. However, if she was honest with herself, she was enjoying all of this mayhem. She couldn't wait to meet the rest of the crew.