Author's Note: (Tw; mentions of suicide / strong language)

im literally just making this up as i go and am having fun with the story so yeaaaa

Things get a little bit spicy later on in this chapter hehe :3 but not too spicy, we gotta save the jalapeno garden for later y'kno what i mean

(Stan's POV)

Kyle's condition worsened the next day.

His skin looked clammy and lethargic to the bone lying on his side, and taking deeper breaths than usual. I eyed the makeshift splint that I made him the other day, wondering if something went wrong beneath the surface. He may be experiencing dehydration symptoms or have gotten poisoned, or…

"...Stan," I heard Kyle's voice cut through my thoughts like butter. He hesitated, taking a deep breath before speaking again. "Can I ask you something?"

I looked over at him, my legs crossed over each other. The sun's rays framed his body through the holes in the palm leaves as if orange fairies were dancing on his skin and clothing. I felt lost tracing the outlines of his body until I looked back into his eyes. Noticing he still needed a response, I mumble out, "...Yeah?"

"...Why are you helping me?"

I paused for a moment, noticing a slight tension in my body. There was a familiar feeling in Kyle's eyes that I couldn't place anywhere else except for the girl on the cruise ship that I attempted to save. Just like her eyes, Kyle had a bottomless sorrow and deep longing for something that had been lost. The glassy, reflective eyes that showed me a mirror of myself. Wanting to save someone and wanting to feel needed. Wanting to be…wanted.

I hesitantly tore my eyes away from his and left the makeshift tent I scrambled together from the other day. What I wanted most badly was to get away from these arising feelings. I knew that I had no real reason to be protecting Kyle. If anything, I could just leave him for dead and do my own thing on the island until I was rescued.

As I walked aimlessly through the brush and the shrubbery that polluted the forest, I contemplated my thoughts. I felt lonely and isolated, worried sick because I wasn't sure how I was going to get myself out of this mess. If Kyle's condition gets any worse, he was going to die.

I foraged through the bushes for any berries to eat but couldn't find any. Defeated, I made my way back to the campsite to find that the pile of leaves which previously catered to Kyle's shape - was now empty.

My eyes widened. "Kyle…?" I dropped everything and looked around the campsite ferociously for any sight of red hair. "Kyle…!" I shouted out feebly, with no response. Around me, the birds were chirping and the insects were humming like nothing in their lives had been disturbed.

"Kyle!" I yelled out again, searching through the brush to see that footprints were leaving towards the beach. It felt like a vacuum had sucked the air out of my chest as I sprinted out through the shrubbery that blocked my way to the beach. My heart stopped from where I stood. I could see a small figure floating atop the water, bobbing up and down from the waves.

Every footstep through the sand felt like I was sinking, lower into the depths of the earth. It felt like the ground beneath me was absorbing parts of myself and I was being submerged further into exhaustion.

"Kyle!? What the fuck are you doing!?" Kyle's head was just about to go under the water until I grabbed his arm and pulled him back towards shallow water. He was resisting my pulling, but the splint that secured his ankle became undone and he yelped out in pain. As I pulled his soaked body onto the beach, he fell limp under my grasp.

I rolled his body over onto the beach, falling backward onto the sand myself. For a few seconds, we lay quiet on the shore trying to catch our breaths from the struggle.

Then, Kyle spoke out. "Stan…I'm done…"

"Kyle, are you a fucking idiot!?" I yelled at him, my chest heaving up and down rapidly; the water seeping deep into my clothing.

"Stan…I…I don't want to be here anymore," Although the water was cold, it felt like I was on fire within my soul. My skin and my face felt hot. "...God, if there is one up there, doesn't want me to be here anymore."

I felt furious until I looked over at him. His face was scrunched up again, but this time he was covering up his eyes and nose. He didn't want me to see how pitiful of a person he had become, reduced to a state where he would only have to depend on his caregiver to survive.

"My mom's dead, and she was the reason why I came out here in the first place. She wanted to celebrate my birthday a week later, and this is what happened. I feel like it's my fucking fault that she's dead. If I wasn't fucking born, this would have never happened. None of this would. And now, my ankle's fucking broken and I'm sick all to shit," He choked out in between sobs, wiping his tears as they ran down the sides of his face. I looked away from his face, into the wet sand that was slowly turning dry from the sun's intense heat rays. "...And now someone I don't even know is taking care of me when everything would be better if I was–"

"Kyle," I sternly turned to him, watching Kyle cry from where I sat. With a deep sigh, I continued. "Nothing is going to be better if you're dead. We're here together and we're going to leave here, together. I want you to just, wipe anything from your brain that is telling you that things will be better off without you here. I…I need you here."

Kyle uncovered his eyes and peered into mine, sniffling all the while. "...But my ankle's broken. I'm fucked."

I rolled my eyes and sat back on the sand, the waves crashing onto the shore just beneath our feet. "No, you're not. I am a therapist who specifically takes care of people's injuries and physical pain. Now just let me take care of you, so you can feel all better and we can get through all of this. Got it?"

With tears in his eyes, he nodded and sighed quietly. He turned towards the sky again, with his hands covering his eyes. "Stan…I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I'm here."

—

It took all of my physical strength to light a fire using leftover coconut husks and stripped palm tree trunk parts. My mind was already preoccupied with the afternoon's events, and now the sun was about to set on the horizon. Both Kyle and I had been eating coconut meat for the past couple of days, but we needed more in our diet than this. Tomorrow, I would have to go hunting for food.

Since Kyle lacked mobility, I had him carve the coconut husks into bowls and create weapons for my hunting excursion tomorrow. I collected materials for weapon creation and showed Kyle how to create them using a pocket knife attached to my person. When I was younger, I used to go hunting with Uncle Jimbo and Ned from time to time. What I didn't know was how handy the hunting and survival skills would serve me in the future.

"...And that's how you create a spearhead," I handed over some rocks to Kyle for him to whittle away at while he sat down. Once we got back to camp, I redid the splint that supported his ankle with better quality and fed him some coconut meat. Because we had been eating the same thing day after day, his face distorted from the sound of it but we had nothing else. This would suffice for now. "Um…how are you doing now?"

"Well…" Kyle eyed the rocks in his hands, turning them over and touching the sharp edges with his fingertips. After what happened earlier, I did feel a little bit nervous handing him sharp things but, I had to place some trust in him here. He wanted to feel useful and this was one way that he could help us right now. "I would be lying if I said I was happy. But, having you here kinda grounds me in a way."

I sat cross-legged next to him, using the pocket knife to continue sharpening the rock in my hand. We would need a couple of spearheads for this hunting excursion to truly work. "Uhh, how so?"

"There's something about you that makes me want to believe in myself a little bit more." We met eyes and all of a sudden, I felt warm in my cheeks. Smooth bastard, what is this guy even talking about?

He still looked sickly and pale from earlier and the previous day's events, but the small smile he flashed me was the warmest thing I had gotten from him in the time we spent together. Looking away, I tried to focus on carving the spearhead handles with him. My cheeks still felt hot, replaying the moment his mouth upturned and his cheeks became puffed. "You idiot, I'm just looking after you."

"Thanks, Stan," He replied, making small swift movements with his hand. "Y'know, this is gonna sound kinda awkward but, I didn't have many friends back home. I feel like if anything, you're the closest I've ever gotten to the actual definition of a friend.

I paused for a moment, but Kyle continued. "...People usually say I'm too stubborn, or that once my mind is set on something, there's no turning back. So I guess my stubbornness and the rigid way I like to see things make people turn away from me."

At that sentence, I chuckled. "Hmm. I guess you and I are alike in a way, then," I heard Kyle shift positions from beside me, wincing from the pain from his ankle. "Let's just say, my dad is kind of an asshole. He does whatever he wants without anyone else's regard. He started a marijuana farm and bought a house outside South Park with the money much to my mom's dismay. My sister fucking hated every second of it. She hated marijuana and wanted no part of it. For the first time in a while, my sister didn't bully me because we saw eye to eye on our dad ruining our lives.

I felt Kyle breathe softly from beside me, and took this as an opportunity to continue. "So you know what I did? I said fuck it and moved out to pursue my dreams to get out of South Park. My dad was furious and wanted me to stay, but I just couldn't handle it anymore. With my parents arguing, and my sister spiraling deeper into depression…I just….I just wanted to get away from it all and make a future for myself."

I put down the sticks I was carving down onto the dirt ground in front of me. Why was I telling Kyle my whole life story?

It was a while before Kyle spoke up, but when he did, his voice was soft and fragile. "...I'm sorry you had to go through that, Stan."

My chest felt warm and I smiled, my back still facing away from Kyle. "No, don't worry about it. It's all in the past now," I looked over to my side to see the sun now setting against the horizon. "The sun's setting. Coconut meat?"

I turned around to face Kyle now, still sitting cross-legged. He rolled his eyes and had a heavy sigh. "I thought you'd never say."

We both chuckled and called it a day, before laying in our leaf pile under the stars.

—

The next morning, Kyle was up before me and was already working on the spears for the hunting excursion. What was only about 3 spears from last night, ended up turning into a 20-something or more pile.

"Holy crap, Kyle," He twitched at my voice appearing from behind him. "Sorry, good morning sunshine."

"Ew, don't call me that," I chuckled before seeing him roll his eyes again at me. I didn't notice this before, but whenever he had a sassy response his eyes always did the thing. "I'm just doing what you asked me to."

"Well, I'm here to tell you that you're doing fantastic, Kyle," I smiled softly at him and patted him on the shoulder. "Looks like you're doing better already."

"Thanks, Nurse Stan," I laughed at his joke, feeling my cheeks getting warm again. Ugh, why is this happening so much to me? "You think these are enough to help you out for the day?"

"Um, yeah. This is a shit ton, dude." I took a couple in my hands and decided to make a small satchel to carry them in using big leaves and twine to sling them over my shoulder. "I'm gonna take a look at what's out there. Are you gonna be okay here on your own?"

Silence. There was a pause.

"...I'm coming with you."

What?

I guess my thoughts appeared on my face because Kyle responded again with the same sentence. "I said, I'm coming with you–"

"No no, I heard you the first time, and I do not fucking agree," Kyle's face twisted into confusion, which made me start to feel a bit of frustration. "Your leg is still healing, and if you come with me, you'll be holding me back."

"Holding me back…?" For a moment, I saw a familiar expression flash across Kyle's face. I didn't mean to, but I had already struck a nerve.

"Sorry Kyle, I didn't mean it that way–"

"I'm coming with you," He picked up a thick stick from the ground and leaned over onto it for support. "And that's that."

I sighed. I guess this is where that stubbornness he was talking about comes into play, huh?

—

The air between us felt heavy and thick, but I knew why. My comment from earlier had touched a sensitive spot with Kyle and because I tried to prove him wrong, he was now hell-bent trying to make sure the opposite happened instead. That he was going to be helpful, and not get in my way.

Every time I crossed a thick overgrowth of tree trunks and shrubbery that made the path uneven, I looked back to see if Kyle was okay. His mobility had improved a bit, but he still wasn't doing too hot. I think he was right about being so stubborn that it pushes people away, and not in a good way.

My eyes met with his and Kyle snapped at me, grasping onto his makeshift cane. "You got something to say?"

"No, I..well actually, yes–" I stopped in my tracks and turned around, one of my hands clutching onto the satchel of spears. Taking a deep breath in, I apologized. "I'm sorry. For what I said earlier."

Silence.

Really? What the fuck is wrong with this dude?

I looked at Kyle's posture, to see that he was shaking from where he was standing. His eyes were not meeting with mine but were drawn to something that was behind me. Kyle's lips were parted and I could see the whites of his eyes.

While turning around slowly, a hairy animal came into my vision. It was a monstrous boar, almost as tall as I was. Its mouth was dripping a disgusting amount of drool onto the ground, glazing the rocks and stones of the hill beneath us with a glossy substance.

My heart thudded loudly in my chest as I gulped and whispered. "Kyle….I want you to slowly go back the way you came from, okay?"

"And what about you, what are you going to do?"

"Don't worry about me, just go back to camp. I'll be there soon."

Although I wasn't looking at Kyle, I could tell that his face was contorted into an ugly sob. He didn't want to leave me behind, but there was no way that we could both run away from this huge ass boar like this. Kyle was still injured, but if he hobbled or moved away slowly, he could get away. Right now, me and Mr. Boar were about 3 feet away from each other. Kyle was slacking behind me a little bit more, maybe 10 or 13 feet away from where I was currently standing.

I sighed, my heartbeat now thudding inside my brain. Is this it? Am I going to be charged by a boar and die here? I looked up towards the sky and bit my lip. While Kyle was backing up, I was going to back up slowly as well and then make a run for it. If I led it to the beach, I could have more open areas to kite it or lure it into a trap. Right now, I was standing on the slope of a rocky hill that was descending further into some bushes. All around us, Kyle and I were surrounded by trees and shrubbery. The amount of obstacles in the way made it significantly harder to run around freely.

My feet were edging back against the path I came from, but the boar had taken interest and was coming ever closer. Fuck fuck fuck. I can still sprint, right?

As I moved backward from whence I came, a lone pebble became loose from my footing and tumbled down the hill towards the boar. The next few seconds were evident. Taking this as their chance to move closer and ram me into the earth to become dust, the boar charged towards me full speed with their head bowed down. I took this as an opportunity to turn around and scramble my way up the rocky hill as fast as I could.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. These were the only words that I could repeat in my mind as my heartbeat pounded in my head and my chest. This is it, huh? I'm going to get rammed into and die from the impact.

My legs felt like rubber as I navigated through the forested area; my arms reaching out to grab loose branches and throw them behind me. Where did Kyle go? Is he okay? Did he make it?

I was so caught up in my thoughts about Kyle that I tripped on a hidden tree trunk, causing me to launch myself and tumble over into a ball.

"Ugh…" The boar was now a foot away from me, when all of a sudden, I heard a loud PHTOO! noise and a THUNK. "What the…"

On my hands and knees, I watched in horror as the boar keeled over and laid over onto its side, finally silent. As I approached the animal, I saw a spear sticking out from its bloody side.

"What the fuck?" I looked up into the trees to see Kyle, with a smug smile on his face and a spare spear in his hand. "...Kyle!?"

He shifted his weight on the tree branch, causing him to wince in pain from his fucked ankle. Soon after, Kyle had a goofy grin on his face. "...I guess dinner's on me tonight?"

—

"You are an idiot," I shook my head as I smiled from ear to ear, tearing a piece of tender meat from the boar's leg. "How did you do it?"

"I don't know…you told me to back up slowly but I couldn't just leave you there. When I was holding onto a branch from earlier, it gave me an idea to climb up into the trees and get a vantage point to get him," Kyle then took a spare spear from behind a secret satchel underneath his clothing. "You made a satchel, so I wanted to make one too."

I shook my head back and forth, taking another piece of cooked boar from the fire pit. "You're fucking crazy dude."

"I'm fucking helpful is what I am," Kyle proclaimed, with a wide grin on his face. "Say it, Stan. I'm helpful."

"Sure, sure, yes, Kyle, you're helpful. Now have some more meat," I gave him the other leg and we toasted. "Cheers."

"Cheers," He smiled as we touched boar meat and kept chewing on our golden prize. "Hey Stan, this is a weird question but, what's your last name?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Where's this coming from?"

"I was just thinking about it, but, if one of us dies and doesn't know the other person's full name - then we can't spread the legend or story with full accuracy."

"That's a dark thought you're having there, Kyle."

"So?"

I ripped another piece of meat fresh from the bone and stared at the nighttime sky. The stars were harder to see tonight - they looked blurry.

"My full name is Stanley Marsh. But people usually call me Stan Marsh for short."

"Hmm," Kyle nodded and took another piece from the fire, blowing on it with pursed lips. "My full name is Kyle Michael Broflovski. But please, don't call me Michael. I hate it."

"Noted, Michael." I gave him a sly grin and elbowed him in the waist.

"Asshole, I'll kill you if you do it again."

"Mi–"

"Shut it!" Kyle launched himself at me, knocking us both over onto the ground. Now, he was on top of me, and I was lying flat on the ground.

I blinked, taking in Kyle's features from the light of the fire. Warm tones of yellow, orange, and red flickered across his ginger hair, illuminating it in the dark. His hair complemented the fire and so did the expression on his face. If Kyle was an element, he would be the very light keeping us warm right now.

"Ahem…!" My cheeks flushed as I noted that I had been staring at Kyle in the fire's light for a bit too long. I looked over to the side, at the pathetic boar meat that had rolled over onto the dirt from our short scuffle.

"Oh, sorry." Kyle's face had a slight tingle of red as he removed himself from the weird position we were in.

I sat up and brushed myself off, feeling my heart skip a beat in my chest. "I….I'm gonna go take a leak."

Kyle nodded but was not making eye contact with me. "...Y-yeah, me too."

I exited the campsite and walked a couple of feet away into the shadows, taking in deep breaths. Leaves and bushes crunched underfoot as I tried to claim my thoughts.

Why do I feel so weird around Kyle?

As I unzipped my pants to do my business, I looked up and I could have sworn that the full moon was laughing back at me.