Eventually after a whirlwind of shopping Samantha and Patrick made their way back to Shelby's. Rachel was taken back by all the gifts. She placed them in her room and vowed not to open a single one, she hoped that Samantha could get her money back once she left. Samantha and Patrick stayed for dinner and then excused themselves. They only lived about 40 minutes away so it wasn't a bad drive home.

Shelby sat on the couch and Rachel sat in a chair, they were both consumed in what they were reading. An alarm went off on Shelby's phone, "Oh. It's that time already." She had set an alarm on her phone for when she thought Rachel should wake up and go to bed, she was trying to get her on a schedule like Ms. Grier suggested. "It's time for bed, Rach."

Rachel looked up from her book, she wanted to finish the chapter she was on. She knew better than to argue with an adult though. "Alright." She got up to leave and then remembered her manners, "Shelby?"

Shelby looked up smiling, "Yes?"

"Thank you for today. I had fun skating and I liked meeting your parents."

"I'm glad you had a good day." Shelby had been trying to give Rachel her space to open up and it seemed to finally be working. Twice in one day Rachel had spoken to her without her first asking the question. "Would you like me to tuck you in?"

Bed time had been the hardest for Rachel. She hated the memories that plagued her as she got ready. "Um, maybe. If you want to?"

Shelby smiled, "I will never ask you something if I don't first want to do it." She stood up and walked next to Rachel. She let her hand dangle close to Rachel, but without touching her.

Rachel could feel Shelby's hand. She wanted so badly to grab it, something to keep her tethered to this earth. The walk up the stairs was easy enough, but as soon as she saw her bedroom door her heart started beating. Maybe she could grab Shelby's hand, she'd done it at the skating rink. They were having fun though, she reasoned with herself. A flash of her father with his hand on her shoulder walking her to her room caused her to reach up and grab Shelby's hand. Rachel looked up and saw Shelby's smile soften. It calmed her and she was able to make it to her room without any more flashes.

Rachel was already in her pajamas, she had brushed her hair and her teeth, she was ready for bed. Shelby saw Rachel's long hair and got an idea, "Hey Rachel?"

"Yes."

"Would you like me to braid your hair?"

Rachel's eyes widened, she would love that. She turned around to look at Shelby. She knew Shelby had just said she wouldn't ask her any questions if she didn't first want to do it, but maybe she was lying. But adults didn't lie. But Shelby couldn't be this nice all the time. She finally decided to just shake her head yes.

Shelby's smile reached her eyes and Rachel relaxed. They both sat on Rachel's bed and Shelby took her time running the brush through Rachel's silky hair. She did a low french braid down the back of the young girl's head. She patted the top of Rachel's head, "There you go sweetie. All done."

Rachel pulled the braid to the side. She'd only ever gotten her hair done by a hairdresser and he was really mean. She always had tears in her eyes by the end of it. "It's beautiful. Thank you." She meant it with her whole heart.

Shelby helped Rachel get into bed and then she tucked the sheets around her. There weren't any stuffed animals on the bed and Shelby was sad. Every kid should have a stuffed animal to snuggle with while they sleep. "Hold on. I'll be right back. Don't move."

Rachel wiggled a little to show Shelby that she couldn't get out. Shelby laughed and then quickly left the room. When she returned she had a stuffed panda in her hand. "This panda was with me the whole time I was pregnant. I tried to give it to your dads, but they said your nursery had a different theme." Shelby noticed the sad look on Rachel's face and tried to change the subject quickly. "I used to sing to you when you were in my stomach and this panda would sit on top of you. I never did name him, but maybe you can give him a name." She pulled a little at the comforter and lifted Rachel's arm, placing the panda bear under it as she readjusted.

"He's very squishy." Rachel pushed at the bear now under her arm.

Shelby laughed a little, "Yeah, that's because he's a weighted panda bear. He's supposed to lie on your chest and help center you, or something like that."

"Were you scared when you were pregnant with me?"

Shelby knelt on the ground next to Rachel's bed, "I wasn't scared of being pregnant. I wasn't even scared of having you." She looked down for a moment, "I was scared of when I had to give you away."

"But I thought…" Rachel didn't know how to articulate what she wanted to say.

She didn't have to though, Shelby knew what she meant, "As soon as they told me I was pregnant my heart became so full with love for you. The first time you kicked me, I thought my heart was going to burst." Rachel's eyes widened. "Not in a bad way. I was so in love with you and feeling you moving around made me even more in love with you. When I was six months pregnant with you the weight of what I was doing finally laid heavy on me. I started getting really scared and my doctor suggested I get a little friend to keep me company. He said that once you were born and you held onto the panda you would be able to feel my love."

"But I didn't get to." Rachel wanted to cry. She didn't know Shelby had loved her.

Shelby didn't want to make Rachel sad. "But now you do. That panda is yours. The only rule I have is that you have to name it." She smiled when Rachel looked up at her.

Rachel smiled when she saw Shelby smiling down at her. She pushed the panda around in her hands. "Oh! I know." She lifted the panda in front of her so she could look at it better. "Your name shall here be known as Jelly the Magnificent," she looked past the bear at Shelby, "but we can just call him Jelly."

Shelby smiled, "You know what. I think I did hear him say that was his name one time. It's perfect!" She grabbed the panda and gave it a hug and kiss. She so badly wanted to do the same to her little girl, but she knew that was a process. She handed the bear back to Rachel. "Good night sweetie. Sleep well." She brushed Rachel's bangs out of her face, hoping that all of her love could be felt.

As soon as Shelby left Rachel hugged and kissed the panda bear. She wanted to feel like her mom was hugging and kissing her. She didn't mean to be so scared of everyone, it was like her body did the moving before her brain could do the thinking. All Rachel wanted was for Shelby to hug her and never let go.