Will saw his Captain striding through the Sickbay doors and knew immediately what the man had come for.
"I got out with the last of the colonists. If it hadn't been for the perimeter teams, none of us would have made it. We were able to clear out four of the teams, and the interference prevented us from getting two more. I don't know how they could have survived."
"Which teams are missing?"
"Three and six."
Picard the C aptain wanted a status report on the situation regarding the efficiency of the deflectors and an accounting of the condition of his crew.
Picard the man wanted to know where Nella Daren was , and although Will knew that Picard the man wouldn't want to hear this particular update, he also understood that Picard the C aptain would do his duty. Reluctantly, Will told him.
"The last I knew, Commander Daren was on team six."
Will locked eyes with Beverly who had been unobtrusively checking him over, hopefully to return him to duty. Will didn't think the Captain would be of much use to anyone for a while and the ship's First Officer would be needed.
For a second it looked like Beverly had contemplated following Picard when the Captain moved slowly towards the door. Will held her gaze for a moment longer , then she turned to her equipment and selected a hypospray to treat the damage to his lungs from smoke inhalation.
Beverly dialled up the appropriate drug, then checked the dosage before firing the hypo into Will's neck. Jean-Luc had looked… lost after Will's pronouncement. She'd automatically turned to follow him as he'd wandered vaguely off in the direction of Sickbay's exit but at the last moment she'd caught Will's eye. In that second, she'd felt torn, guilty for not going to him immediately, but she had her own duties to perform and wasn't certain that it was her place even if she hadn't.
Less than an hour later when a dishevelled Nella Daren stumbled into Sickbay supporting a stunned looking member of her team, Beverly went automatically into triage mode. Nella luckily was not a high treatment priority and, despite the outward appearance of the officer she'd helped into Sickbay, both would also make a full recovery.
Peripherally Beverly was aware when Jean-Luc appeared in Sickbay only seconds after she'd quickly scanned Nella and moved on to Lieutenant Deng. Beverly felt, of course, relieved for her friend who'd had a very close call today. A close call that she herself understood only too well.
She also selfishly felt relief for herself. Imagining that she'd followed Jean-Luc from Sickbay to comfort him, only to wind up inadvertently witnessing his reunion with Nella left her feeling grateful that she'd allowed him to leave Sickbay alone after all.
When she finished with Lieutenant Deng she realised that none of her staff had approached Nella and the Captain, obviously they'd erroneously assumed that Beverly herself should be the one to treat the Captain's partner.
Drawing in a fortifying breath she fixed her best blandly sympathetic look on her face and moved towards the couple. Nella was perched on the side of the biobed, her legs dangling over the edge.
In front of the Commander and somewhat to her side stood the Captain. As Beverly approached, professional mask firmly in place, she saw Jean-Luc's hand slide off of Nella's thigh and felt a melancholy sort of resignation settle over her.
"Commander Daren, I apologise for the wait."
"Quite alright Doctor. You've been very busy this evening. I hope Lieutenant Deng is…"
"Fine. The Lieutenant will be just fine." Beverly smiled reassuringly at her as Jean-Luc reached forward to comfortingly squeeze Nella's bicep.
"Oh, that is such a relief. It was, well, indescribable down there. I..". Beverly felt a twinge of sympathy as Nella's voice caught and trailed off uncertainly.
"Well, let's get you checked over and back to your quarters as quickly as possible. No doubt you'd like a shower and some rest." As she'd been speaking Beverly had been running the tricorder wand efficiently over Nella. As expected, the results confirmed her earlier initial assessment.
"You've got minor pneumonitis meaning your lungs are slightly inflamed, no doubt due to smoke inhalation." She gently tilted the other woman's neck, careful to avoid the shiny patches of burned skin as she injected the contents of a hypo into her bloodstream.
"That should take care of it. You've also got some mild burns on your hands, neck and face where you weren't protected by your uniform. Overall, you were very lucky." Beverly slipped both tricorder and hypospray into the pockets of her lab coat.
"I'll send one of the nurses over with a dermal regenerator. Once the treatment has been completed, you'll be free to return to your quarters. You're off duty for the next two days."
"Alright. Thank you, Doctor." She captured Beverly's gaze, her eyes inscrutable.
"Of course. If you'll excuse me." She turned away without looking at Picard and went in search of a nurse. She saw Jean-Luc move back in front of Nella almost as if to shield her from view. Spotting Ogawa, she gave the nurse her instructions.
Ogawa didn't need her boss to tell her to make Commander Daren's treatment a priority in order to release the other woman from sickbay as quickly as possible. The entire Sickbay staff understood that the sooner Daren and the Captain were both out of Sickbay, the better.
None of them were privy to the private dealings of the senior staff, their boss included, but they were very protective of Dr. Crusher and whether Beverly knew it or not, they all had some grasp of the situation involving Commander Daren. Alyssa grabbed a dermal regenerator and moved quickly towards Nella and the Captain.
———————
He'd only been half joking when he'd suggested she resign her commission and stay with him aboard the Enterprise. A mind and talent , not to mention such a dedicated officer as Nella would never be content being sidelined while those around her made discoveries and took risks.
He'd seriously thought about attempting to try and make it work on board despite the utter devastation he'd felt when he'd thought her lost. How often would he really be forced to put her in harm's way, he rationalised. It wasn't like Beverly whom he sent down any number of times each and every month, sometimes weekly, to her potential death...
That had sealed it, however. He didn't think he could handle committing to bear the burden of the responsibility for both women's safety. He had lived with the tightly leashed fear for Beverly's life, that he might order her to her death on even the most mundane of missions, for years now.
He had learned to tolerate it, but it had never gotten any easier. He could not make that same concession for Nella, especially not while both she and Beverly were on board at the same time. This didn't, however, necessarily have to spell the end for them. He'd already as much as admitted to her that he was in love with her.
They'd eaten dinner together sharing a bottle of wine loath to part company after such a close call, especially given that Nella's transfer to a star base would doubtless come sooner rather than later. Her exceptional talents and extensive command experience would surely make her an attractive addition to any research focussed starbase.
The wine had helped to wash away some of the stress of the last 24 hours and what was meant to be a parting kiss led to a passionate embrace and they soon moved into Picard's bedroom. Later the pair lay entwined and sated, savouring what would very likely be some of their last hours together.
"You know Jean-Luc, I imagine I just might be in love with you too." Her fingertips were tracing random patterns on the skin of his chest, her nails raking periodically through the hair there.
"Oh, really." His soft smile in the dimmed lighting of his bedroom sent a thrill through her.
"Yes, really. So…. I was thinking… about what you said."
"Which part is that?"
"That people do it all the time, see each other, arrange shore leave…. You're right, you know. We're not so different. If we commit to taking the time we could make it work. Many Starfleet couples do."
She could see him mulling it over. She knew from what he'd told her, and of course from idle gossip even before she'd signed onto the ship, that this type of commitment would be a massive step for him.
Jean-Luc Picard was married to the Enterprise. He didn't take day-long shore leave, let alone a full-blown vacation on a regular basis to meet up with a woman. She held her breath as she awaited his decision. She would respect it either way but surely their connection was too special to let it fade away so easily. He nodded slowly and she felt hope bloom in her chest.
Earlier that evening, when Picard had caught sight of Nella again in the transporter room he'd had no words, only an overpowering wave of release and relief. He'd been so certain that she was lost to him, so sure that he'd sent her to her death. To have her returned to him felt like a gift. Was he really willing to squander it because of logistical difficulties?
"Yes, we could try, Nella. I've… I've not had much success at long term relationships, and I've never before committed to one that is long distance, but if you are willing, I would like to try."
She pulled him in for a fiercely passionate kiss that tried to impart her acknowledgment of and gratitude for what he was agreeing to.
"I would like nothing more."
—--
Two months later…
"Are you planning to attend Data's concert next week?" Beverly used the side of her thumb to scoop crumbs into her cupped palm before brushing her hands briskly together over her now empty plate.
" Ahhh … Well, I won't be on board then I'm afraid." He reached over to retrieve the pot of raspberry jam that she knew he preferred, avoiding her gaze all the while.
"Really? You've a conference to attend?" She noticed that he still wasn't meeting her gaze and realised that she was quite obviously missing something.
"Not exactly, no." She was going to have to drag it out of him then.
"Well, where will you be, exactly ?"
"I've taken a few days of leave." Beverly's eyes grew wide at this. Since when did Jean-Luc Picard voluntarily take leave? And why hadn't he mentioned it to her if he were going to some archeological site or… It hit her then. He wasn't going to some command seminar or some obscure dig site to muddle about in the dirt.
"I see. Anywhere interesting?" He was taking his time spreading jam on his croissant as if he had to think about her question.
"Not really, no."
So, he didn't want to tell her. She had a feeling that she knew exactly, not where he was going, but with whom . She refused to make it easy for him and so continued to gaze at him expectantly, her coffee cup held in front of her like a shield, or perhaps a potential weapon given her current mood. She saw him brace himself before responding.
"I'm to meet Lt. Commander Daren for a little R . It's a vacation spot on our way to that mapping assignment we have coming up next week. She had some time owing to her and so it all seemed to line up…" He was babbling and they both knew it.
She didn't know how she was supposed to feel about this. He had effectively ended their closeness while Nella was on board. She assumed it had been to placate the Commander's insecurities.
They hadn't discussed the woman's departure at all. He'd simply commed her one morning about a week after Nella had transferred and asked her to breakfast.
She'd reasonably assumed that his relationship with Nella was over, and now to be completely blindsided by his casual announcement that they were still, in fact, very much together... She felt as if their friendship was contingent upon the current status of his love life as well as upon his convenience alone.
She could feel her temper rising. All of the recent closeness they'd regained while working together to solve his old mentor's puzzle several weeks previously, helping him with the more scientific intricacies of the paper that he was currently writing and hoping to submit for publication… She felt… hurt and used, but damned if she would let it show.
"That sounds lovely. Be sure to give the Commander my regards."
Thank God she'd legitimately finished enough breakfast to make a relatively believable excuse to exit quickly. Several snarky and very inappropriate thoughts were attempting to escape, and she needed to regain control of her acerbic tongue.
"Of course." She grabbed her lab coat and stood shrugging into it on her way to his door.
"Thank you for breakfast, Jean-Luc. I have to check on an experiment before my shift starts. I'll see you later."
"Tomorrow we could meet at yours?" His gaze was a bit anxious, but she was too intent on her escape to spare a thought for Jean-Luc Picard's needs and anxiety and simply nodded noncommittally.
She fumed all the way to sickbay where she was so distracted and unsettled that she dropped an entire tray of sterilised instruments.
"Goddamn it!" With more force than strictly necessary she threw the now useless instruments into the recycler
"Uh-oh… Who's the culprit?" She'd been just crawling under her desk to fish out an errant hypo when Will spoke unexpectedly from the doorway.
Startled, she smacked her head off of the underside of her desk. Instead of screaming like she wanted to, she slowly backed out from under the desk, tossed the hypo in the direction of the recycler and dusted off her uniform.
"What do you want, Will?"
"Manners, Doctor." Not wanting to further draw her ire, Will grabbed up the hypo which had completely missed the recycler.
"Do you come down here just to aggravate me?"
"No, I come down here for the warm reception and inspiring conversation, Beverly. What's eating you? Breakfast not to your liking?" When she flushed and glared at him, he knew that he'd guessed correctly.
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Come early to the poker game tonight. I came down to remind you since you haven't been in weeks…"
"Will, I have been…"
"Yeah, busy. I know. Anyway, you can help me set up and put out the food and drinks, and we'll talk." She hummed in evasion, but he was already turning away.
"19h30, Beverly. Don't make me come find you... "
Feeling completely childish she had to repress the urge to throw her stylus at his retreating back.
—--
" So, I put in all the hard work of a real relationship, the grunt work, the invisible daily grind… only to get set aside when our… friendship is inconvenient for him?" She was trying not to sound like a jealous shrew. Then again, it was only Will , so what did it matter? He knew all of the sordid details anyway.
To Riker's surprise Beverly had actually shown up a half hour before the poker game was to start. He'd thought he'd have to drag her here altogether. Since what he'd come to think of as "The Captain's Great Folly," he and Beverly had been spending a lot of time together, but she'd pulled back on socialising with the rest of the senior staff including poker night. He wasn't certain but he thought she was avoiding having to face them all knowing that each had to have at least some inkling of her discomfort with Picard's new relationship.
"Pretty much…" He sent her a sympathetic look.
"So essentially, I'm… I'm the sidekick…"
Riker was hiding it, but he was as displeased as she was. Did Picard really not understand what this was doing to Beverly? Why had he sought her out when Nella had transferred, drawn her back in and pretended that everything was back to normal only to spring this on her now?
Will was almost as upset with himself for having encouraged Beverly to pick right back up where she and the Captain had left off. However, as much blame as he laid at his own doorstep, he was even more disappointed in Picard. The man had a right to conduct his affairs as he saw fit, but to not even tell her…
"I don't think I want to be the sidekick. Or anything else for that matter."
"Beverly… You don't want to lose your friendship. He's played a very important part in your life for a long time now. Your life and Wes' life too." He thought that his tone was as neutral as was reasonable given the situation.
"You're right. I don't." She bit her lip, her troubled gaze moving away from his.
"That being said, you don't have to go back to what you had before… Set some hard limits, Beverly! What you're willing to allow yourself to be to him, share with him and vice-versa. You don't have to fill any role you don't feel comfortable with. He'll adapt."
"Yes, Counselor." She smiled at him in gratitude before turning to the replicator.
She couldn't allow herself to simply get lulled into resuming their former dynamic. She could so easily fall back into his gravitational pull only to orbit him forever… or at least until he met someone else, and she destabilised again, spinning off into the painful reality that she was not his partner, that he was not hers… She would be setting herself up to be hurt over and over again.
"Will, do you think that I should get back out there?"
"Out where?" He shot her a perplexed look as he bent down to pull the poker chips out of a lower cupboard.
"You know. Dating… a relationship." Feeling a bit out of his league here, he carefully considered his words.
"I'm probably not the one you want to talk to when it comes to relationship advice, Beverly. I do know that you'd have no shortage of men willing to take you up on it." He leered at her suggestively.
"Flatterer." Several full glasses now clutched between dexterous fingers, she made her way slowly from the replicator to the poker table they'd set up earlier.
"Listen, I know that you're looking for a change, but, well, it might be reactionary at this point." She raised her eyebrows at him, but he could see that she'd understood.
"Maybe start with something less…. drastic. Something that you won't risk regretting. Start with something small."
He was feeling protective of his friend. Now, still raw from the discovery of the Captain's continuing affair with Nella, didn't feel like the time to rush into anything. He wasn't about to say that to her directly, however! But he also didn't want to discourage her when he knew that she needed distraction. He just didn't want her to end up regretting the distraction and finding herself even worse off.
"Like what?"
"Well… what about your hair?" It was the first thing that had popped into his head. Women looking to make a change in their lives almost always, in his experience, started with the aesthetic, hair, clothing, make-up, that sort of thing.
"Will, we've discussed this…."
"I know, brunette bad." He grinned at her.
"Why not try blonde? Don't they say that blondes have more fun?" She rolled her eyes at him, but he could tell that she was intrigued. Before she could respond, his door chime sounded announcing Deanna's arrival.
"Come," they both called at the same time.
Deanna could sense the playful atmosphere the moment she entered. Beverly was employing the same level of emotional shielding as was usual for the Doctor whether she was in the Counselor's company or not.
Will, of course, was completely open to her and she took a moment to sample the emotions on the surface (amusement and the contented anticipation of being in the company of good friends), before diving beneath the surface. She could identify something troubling him, but on the periphery. Something about the conversation she'd interrupted, she deduced and made a mental note to check in with him later.
Will's enunciator sounded once more announcing the arrival of Data and Geordi and stalling any further investigation. She pushed away the frustration she felt at being interrupted before she could discover the source of his preoccupation and immediately felt Will's amusement. He could run but not hide, she thought smugly. She'd figure it out eventually… She always did.