Chapter 6: Anakin and Padme's Forced Romance
Anakin and Padme were eating at a table on the freighter while Qui-Gon and R2 were standing on guard.
"Anakin, I know Jedi forbid attachments, but you're so sexy so I don't care and I want to do you or Qui-Gon," Padme whispered to Anakin.
"Excuse me? But the Jedi order forbids attachments including love, so we're not going to bed together. Also I thought you wanted me, not Qui-Gon," Anakin said.
"Are you kidding me, Anakin? Sometimes older men like Qui-Gon are hotter than young men like you," Padme answered.
Suddenly, two men pointed their guns at Padme and yelled, "Allahu Akbar! Allahu Akbar!" Luckily for her, Qui-Gon cut the men's limbs off.
"How did you know I was Senator Amidala?" Padme asked the two men.
"Are you stupid? You're not wearing a disguise and you're wearing these ridiculous outfits only rich people and royalty can afford. Of course we knew you were Amidala," one of the men said.
Padme, the two Jedi, and R2 landed on Israel, carrying luggage along the way.
"I wasn't the youngest queen ever elected. But now that I think back on it, I'm not sure I was old enough. I'm not sure I was ready," Padme said to Anakin.
"The people you served thought you did a good job. I heard they even tried to amend the constitution so you can stay in office," Anakin complemented Padme.
"I was relieved when my two terms were up," Padme concluded.
The group was now in Queen Jamillia's court, discussing how to deal with the Middle East terrorist countries. Suddenly, several men with machine guns appeared at the court and demanded everyone to surrender. Fortunately, Anakin and Qui-Gon dismembered all of the terrorists, killing some.
"How did your men know Senator Amidala was here?" Qui-Gon asked one of them.
"We knew when she stepped off the freighter with her face exposed," the terrorist answered.
"My goodness, there must be a way to bring the Middle East countries back to the U.N.?," Queen Jamillia asked.
"I'm afraid that more and more countries are voting to move away from the organization everyday, threatening Western supremacy and our precious American Empire-, I mean, American Republic," Padme answered.
"Remember Senator, the United States Congress was able to cut off food, water, and money to those backwards desert countries. That's a move in the right direction," Jamillia commented.
"However, there are rumors that the number of terrorists were not reduced as they were ordered," Padme said.
"The Jedi have not been allowed to investigate. It would be too dangerous for our economy, we were told," Anakin said.
"We must keep our faith in the United States. The day we stop believing in American aristocracy can work is the day we lose it," Jamillia replied.
"Let's pray that day never comes, because then Israel would then lose trillions of U.S. taxpayer dollars," Padme added.
The court meeting was over, and now Amidala and the two Jedi were discussing where Amidala could hide from the terrorists.
"I was thinking we could go to Sderot, it's comfortable and safe over there. And we could watch missiles killing Palestinian civilians-, um, I mean terrorists," Padme explained.
"That sounds like a bad idea. How about Lake Country instead? It's the most empty place in Israel," Qui-Gon replied.
"That sounds better than my idea," Padme answered.
The group was now riding on a boat on the lake to an island. Suddenly, terrorists and their pirate allies appeared on multiple boats. However, both Jedi were able to deflect the laser shots with their lightsabers. The deflected shots killed all the terrorists and pirates.
"Now I'm thinking that I shouldn't have worn such revealing dresses while hiding," Padme said to both Jedi.
The group now landed on the island's villa, Anakin and Padme were overlooking the villa's beautiful garden.
"We used to come here for school retreat. We swim to that island everyday. I love the water," Padme said to Anakin. "We used to lie on the sand and let the sun dry us. And try to guess the names of the birds singing," she continued.
"I don't like sand, it's coarse, it's rough, and it gets everywhere," Anakin said.
"I can't even imagine growing up and living on a desert planet, it's too horrible for children to live on a lifeless, scorchingly-hot planet everyday," Padme said.
"Tatooine's not like here. Here, everything is soft and smooth," Anakin said.
Anakin touched Padme's back. Padme looked back at Anakin. They kissed, but then Padme pulled back and quietly said, "No."
"Anakin, why do you like me? Because you saw me when you were only a little boy? The truth is you don't even know me, you only like me for my looks and nothing else," Padme questioned Anakin.
"You're right, Padme. I don't know why we were so lustful for each other back in Washington D.C.," Anakin agreed.
"No, no, NO! You two are supposed to fall in love with each other, be in a secret relationship which pushes Anakin to the Dark Side, be my apprentice, and take over America and turn it into a conservative empire instead of a liberal empire," Reagan-Nixon said hiding in a bush.
"Senator Reagan-Nixon, is that you?" Qui-Gon asked.
"I'm not here," Reagan-Nixon said while waving his hand at Qui-Gon, Anakin, and Padme. "Also, you two will love each other because it's forbidden and not because of your personalities," Reagan-Nixon said and waved his hand at Anakin and Padme.
"Wait a minute, I am completely against this, it's against the Jedi code," Qui-Gon said.
"You will allow this, because you were supposed to die back in Episode I, but survived because George Lucas made my plan too convoluted," Reagan-Nixon said while waving his hand at Qui-Gon.
Padme and Anakin were now sitting on a grassfield next to the lake, Padme was telling Anakin about her childhood crush.
"What happened to him?" Anakin asked.
"I went into public service, he went on to become an artist," Padme answered.
"Maybe he was the smart one," Anakin coldly said.
"You really don't like politicians, do you?" Padme asked.
"I like two or three, but I'm not really sure about one of them. I don't think the system works," Anakin answered.
"How would you have it work? That's exactly what we do. The trouble is people don't always agree."
"Well then should be made to."
"By whom? Who's going to make them?"
"I don't know. Someone."
"You?"
"Of course not me."
"But someone."
"Someone wise."
"So you're basically a fascist?"
"No, I vote Democrat. That means I support American military drones bombing civilians and I support corporations over poor people, all while condemning Republicans for doing those same things."
"Oh, okay. You made me worried there."
"Oh no, I'd be much too frightened to tease a Senator."
Anakin then rode on a cow for fun before falling off on his face. Padme was worried, but Anakin turned his face with laughter. The couple then hugged each other while rolling on the grass.
"Wow Anakin, I'm glad you're not a Nazi. You only support American government war crimes and greedy businessmen," Padme complimented him.
It was now sunset at Israel, Padme and Anakin were eating dinner. Anakin used the Force to push a fruit onto Padme's plate.
It was now night, Padme and Anakin were sitting next to a fireplace. "I'm going to wear this revealing dress to get you even crazier for me," Padme said to Anakin.
"Okay, and I will tell you I'm in complete emotional agony because I want to be with you but I can't because of the Jedi code," Anakin replied.
"It's a good coincidence that I was single for the last ten years, and that we met on Tatooine by complete chance and not because of Reagan-Nixon's manipulations," Padme responded.
"I know, right? It's a good thing I forgot the Jedi teaching me to be emotionally distant and controlled. Or else I wouldn't be insanely in love with you for no purpose besides plot contrivances," Anakin explained.
"Anakin, how can you forget everything we taught you?" Qui-Gon said from the shadows.
"Motherfucker! You will allow this relationship to happen and not realize you and the other Jedi completely failed to let Anakin control his emotions. That's why Anakin wants to be with Padme. Also, I'm not here," Reagan-Nixon said while doing another mind trick on the trio.