Lightning flashed bright enough outside to cause the fancy bulbs to dim and for those patrons near the windows to be outlined with the actinic glare for an instant. Bucky caught it as a reflection and even that had been enough to leave visual echoes across his retinas. It had been insanely hot and humid for days and days, the air heavy with moisture and hazy with pollution. Given the carbon footprint caused by an excessive number of vehicles in the city had gone down dramatically, many companies had moved away from fossil fuels in favor of electricity and other means, but enough remained that when all those lost souls had returned, their use had as well.
The last week had been ugly with it.
So it came as little surprise to Bucky that the heatwave had broken with the mother of all thunderstorms.
He'd managed to not get too drenched on his way to The Daily Grind where he and Ni had decided to get together. Yes, they still hung out in the place where they'd first met. It got them out of their respective homes and forced him to interact with the rest of humanity, which had gotten much easier for Bucky over the summer. Between the local job, the live meeting of the book club that looked to become a regular thing if only a few times a year, and double dating with Ni and her already paired-off friends, some of which had become friends with him as well, he'd begun at least the first steps in being comfortable in his own skin. The shadow of The Winter Soldier had begun to fall less darkly upon the new life he attempted to make in the wake of his freedom of the Hydra conditioning.
He'd offered to change the venue or postpone their date when he realized the weather would be making its grand entrance around the same time they were scheduled to meet. She had expressed a dire need to get out of her place as she'd been working on a side project the last few days which meant they'd not been able to see each other. She had admitted to wanting him to come over to keep her company but also pointed out he would have been a distraction for her no matter how little direct impact he made in the moment.
He found that highly amusing as he never expected to be a distraction to anyone in their normal day-to-day activities. Though Bucky had to admit that even when he was on a job with Captain America, he and Ni would text back and forth constantly. So she had instituted a blackout so she could finish the job and send it off for approval.
She hadn't been procrastinating, the client had unexpectedly moved the timetable up so the planned leisurely pace for the coding had turned into a must-do now. He'd understood her reasoning. Given she mostly worked from home she'd needed to set boundaries between the work and her personal time and he'd been honestly impressed by her dedication to maintaining that separation. The downside, for him anyway, had been the odd and unexpected hole in his life over the last several days since he'd been unable to contact her with his usual regularity. He'd thought that after so many years alone he would have been fine for a few days without a particular person in his life. Hell, it hadn't been like he'd been sitting around his apartment moping. No, he'd been working a job site for Urban Refurb and in some ways had been just as busy as Ni.
And yet he'd still missed being able to text her on his lunch break just to see how her day had been going. Somewhere along the way she'd wormed her way in far deeper than expected and become part of his daily life. It concerned him how much of himself he wanted her to see, to approve of, to share.
He wanted to be part of her life and hoped that she wanted to be part of his. Given she'd shown no signs of moving onto other things he remained hopeful this would become more than some summer fling.
He'd become more attached than he could ever have anticipated when he'd signed up for that damn dating app.
Lightning flashed again, even brighter than the last time, followed by thunder deep enough and close enough to rattle not just the windows but the building itself. Bucky could feel the thrumming through his bones and pulled out his phone to call Ni. No way she should be heading outside in this mess so he would volunteer to head to her place. If one of them had to get drenched it might as well be him.
She picked up on the second ring.
"I'm almost there. Have a towel ready as I'm currently in a state that would qualify as drowned rat."
He snorted. "I was gonna tell you to stay home and that I'd meet you, but I was too slow."
"It's just water." The sky flared white again, though with marginally less violence. "And electricity. I'm cutting through the alley and should be there in a moment. Barring a direct hit from a god."
He wanted to tell her to turn back, but at this point, she was closer to the brewpub than her home, so it made sense to let her finish her journey. "I'll have a hot toddy waiting for you."
"Ooo, I knew I liked you- Fuck. What the hell?"
Bucky stiffened; every fiber of his body suddenly on alert.
"Ni. Ni? What's going on?"
The response was an odd thump, followed by Ni's voice from a distance, a short distance mind you, but far enough away from her phone for the words to be muffled by the rain between her and the device.
"Get away from me."
Bucky surged to his feet.
A scream not of pain, he knew what those sounded like, but of anger, rage and a dash of plain fear could be heard not only on his phone but from outside. A dozen people's heads snapped around in the direction it had come from. Bucky took off at a run, his phone still out so he could keep track of whatever was going on with Ni. He knew where she should be, the shortcut one she'd used any number of times to get to the pub and literally along the side of that building it resided in. This time her journey had clearly been interrupted. Others who'd been on the street nearby had begun to move in the direction of the sounds of a struggle. Ni bellowed at the top of her lungs to attract as much attention as possible, while her attacker spewed a variety of scatological descriptors of her, her parents, and anyone she may have ever slept with during her life.
Nienna handled her attacker with a single-mindedness that impressed Bucky. In the few seconds it had taken him to get from the end of the alleyway to her, he assessed the situation and what would be the most efficient way to subdue the attacker. Ni had managed to wrap the strap of her messenger bag around his right wrist in an effort to control it and maintain a reasonable distance. Especially since the stranger, who had about a foot of height and at least fifty pounds on the women he'd gone after, and plainly knew how to use it to his advantage. Lighting flashed revealing why she'd chosen that particular hand to restrain, as the discharge of electricity glinted off the blade of a dangerous-looking knife held tightly in the man's hand.
The man kept trying to close with Ni, but she would use her advantage to shift away and jerk the arm about to prevent him from getting the knife anywhere near her.
Ni must have seen Bucky coming as she backed up pulling the man's arm straight out and leaving his torso vulnerable.
Bucky took full advantage of the moment and launched himself forward. As if they'd practiced the move a thousand times before, Ni twisted her bag efficiently, releasing the man's arm and keeping his focus on her. Bucky charged in and closed with the man, his left hand going to the wrist holding the knife and slamming it into the brick until the blade had been flung aside, while his right hand curled about the stranger's throat and shoved him violently into the wall of the alley causing the man to grunt in obvious discomfort.
Bucky could have easily dealt with the piece of shit then and there, made certain he would hurt no one ever again with a simple squeeze of his hand. He was more than strong enough with his human hand to crush the man's windpipe. Hell, he could probably snap his spine with little or no effort.
Instead, Bucky stood there, a deep growling coming from somewhere nearby as the man froze, eyes wide as realization sank in that he might actually be in trouble.
Killing him would solve so many problems.
Granted it would also create many more, but Bucky would know that the bastard could never hurt anyone else ever again. Especially Ni.
Then Ni appeared at his side and guilt flooded through him. He had never wanted her to see this violent side of him. Knew with certainty that if she truly realized exactly how much of the monster still resided within him that she would reject him out of hand.
And he wouldn't blame her for it.
Being with him had always been a risk for her, like a ship choosing a heading that no one had traveled before and discovering that there should have been a warning included prior to entering in those deep trouble waters.
Here there be monsters.
And this monster had a name.
When she sidled up next to him he expected her to ask him to back down, to release the poor man who had never stood a chance against the barely reformed Winter Soldier.
"Maybe you should squeeze just a bit tighter, so he knows we're serious."
Bucky snapped his head about to stare at her, a feral, dangerous smile on her face as she glared at the man who had attacked her with not a single iota of sympathy for the stranger. Obviously, she believed he had earned whatever punishment they chose to mete out upon him.
In the middle of a torrential downpour, lightning flashing overhead and thunder rumbling loud enough to rattle their bones Bucky had an epiphany the likes of which he'd experienced only once before; when he recognized the man on that bridge in DC who had called him "Bucky".
In that instant, one James Buchanan Barnes realized he loved the woman standing so bravely beside him
He turned back to the stranger and did as she had suggested, squeezing his fingers tighter around the man's throat. He tried to swallow in the sudden surge of fear but was unable to. That's when he began to fight the hold on him. Bucky still had the right hand in the death grip of his vibranium arm, so the man only had his left to use in a vain attempt to get Bucky to release him.
The struggle only lasted a few pitiful moments before he gave up. Bucky restricting his air had most likely contributed to his sudden surrender.
"What do you want with me?" Ni questioned, her tone dark and angry. She clearly thought this attack to have been something more than a random mugging in a dark alleyway.
When he shook his head, Bucky gave him a reminder of his precarious position by grinding the bones of his wrist together which would hurt like hell but not break any of them.
The stranger yelped and submitted almost too easily. "I was sent to deliver a message," he shouted, voice about an octave higher than Bucky had expected.
"What message?" Bucky growled.
"Not for you," he snapped, actually managing a glare at Bucky.
"Well, no shit. You didn't attack him." Ni patted Bucky on the shoulder as she sidled closer. "What's the fucking message?"
Blue and red flashing lights lit up the alley walls and every drop of rain that still fell in sheets about them. Someone in the crowd had called the police as one should do in a situation like this, but the timing of the arrival couldn't be less inconvenient as the attacker's mouth instantly snapped shut on whatever response he'd been about to give them.
"Damn it," Ni muttered, stepping back with hands visible as two officers in rain gear came towards them, flashlights in one hand, the other hovering about their weapons.
"Sir, step back."
Bucky did so, the stranger sagging for a moment as he was finally permitted to stand on his own feet again.
Bucky hadn't realized he'd lifted the man off the ground in his ire.
The cop, who had been extremely wary, possibly assuming that Bucky had been the antagonist, relaxed instantly when he recognized who stood before him. "Sgt. Barnes? James Barnes?"
Bucky nodded. "Yes, officer."
Cop A nodded towards cop B who headed straight for the man Bucky had been restraining and placed him in cuffs while reading him his rights.
"Ma'am, are you all right?" the officer's eyes had gone wide in concern and for the first time, Bucky realized Ni had not gotten off her encounter unscathed. Her left cheek had a scrape, her lip had been busted open and it still appeared to be bleeding, though the worst of it had been obscured by the rain.
She shrugged. "I'll survive."
"You're bleeding," he told her, her fingers going to her lips revealing to Bucky she hadn't been aware of it either. The officer then spoke into his walkie. "Need an EMT at the 10-10. Injured female on site."
Ni sighed loud enough to be heard over the rain. "He came up behind me with a knife," she explained, wanting to get through the next step as quickly as possible if Bucky were any judge.
"Where is it?"
Bucky knew he had knocked it away but had not paid enough attention to see where it had landed. Ni turned about and waved in the direction of the dumpster. "Should be over there."
The attacker now secured, the second officer at the direction of the first went to see if he could find the weapon in question. It didn't take more than a couple of minutes for him to find the weapon, pick it up with a glove and place it into an evidence bag and seal it shut.
"And how did you happen upon this situation, Sgt. Barnes?"
"Shit, my phone," Ni groused, head on a swivel to see if she could find it in the river the alley had become.
"I was around the corner in the Grind waiting for her. We were on the phone when she was attacked. I ran to find her. As most of those people can attest to." Bucky waved at the group that had gathered at the entrance of the alley in the wake of Ni's screams and his arrival. New Yorkers were weird, they'd call 911 but wouldn't necessarily step in to help. Ni hadn't been losing the fight, so they had left her to stand or fall on her own.
Ni returned then, phone in hand and still on the call screen which included Bucky's name across the top and a picture she'd snuck of him at some point in time. Based on the green grass behind him it had been at one of the concerts at the park. At some point, he'd tucked his phone into his pocket and he pulled it out to find the same. He pressed end call, then pulled her into a hug. "Are you okay?"
She shuddered. "I am now."
. . .
The next hour or so had been a wet mess of a time. The worst of the storm had finally blown through, which only meant that the risk of being electrocuted lessened to the normal hazards in Brooklyn as opposed to Thor throwing a temper tantrum in their direction. Yes, Bucky knew Thor was off-world, but he couldn't help but think of the man, or god if you preferred, when stormy weather arrived. Ni permitted the EMTs to look at her and accepted the ice packs as graciously as she could manage but absolutely refused to go to the hospital.
She assured them she'd been through far worse and could take care of herself. They only seemed to relent when Bucky promised them she wouldn't be left alone. They had concerns of a possible concussion no matter she argued that she hadn't been hit in the head that hard.
Bucky agreed with the latter and while he'd be happier if she'd get checked out chose to back her decision.
Statements were made, info exchanged in case the detective assigned to the case had any other questions and they were left to their own devices. The crowd that had gathered dispersed quickly once the show had ended. Nienna had been soaked to the bone at this point, as had Bucky but both of them seemed to appreciate the comparative silence now that the evening's drama had concluded.
The rain had eased to something closer to a normal, still wet, but not so heavy that you could not see across the street.
"We can head to the Grind to dry off a bit," Bucky suggested. He'd had a couple of drinks while waiting for her arrival, so technically had a tab to pay, but he felt confident that he could do so tomorrow given the situation.
"I think home would be better," she responded, then peeled away the light jacket she'd worn as protection against the worst of the rain, to reveal a swath of rain-smeared blood staining her shirt a few inches above the edge of her jeans. The shirt had a neat tear about four inches long.
He lurched forward in shock and surprise. "Why didn't you tell anyone?"
She shook her head violently. "They'd've made me go to the hospital."
"No shit." He realized she'd spent a fair part of the evening with her arm pressed tightly against her side, obviously trying to stave off the bleeding, which could not have been excessive or she'd have passed out long before now. He ran his finger gently over the wound, not liking the fact that they came away stained red. While not profusely the blood still flowed. He needed to get her patched up as soon as humanly possible. "Come on, my place is closer."
She didn't argue, just hugged her bag against her chest as he set his hand on her back and encouraged her towards the street. He wanted to shake her for not mentioning that she'd been hurt beyond the split lip and bruised cheek she'd earned when fending off her attacker. He also wanted her to be okay, to do everything in his power to fix her and hold her tight until certain she would be fine.
Opening the door to his place, he remembered why he hadn't brought her here before. His tiny one-bedroom apartment must appear sad and pitiful compared to the grandeur she lived in. He had barely eight hundred square feet to his name while she owned well over three thousand between the apartment and her office. Yes, her situation was much different from his own, the monthly government check not nearly enough to cover a real place in Brooklyn, especially with the recent surge of people, including himself, needing roofs over their heads. Plus, he didn't require all that much.
The place he'd chosen in Brooklyn awfully similar to the place he'd had in Bucharest where Steve had found him and his freedom of two years had abruptly ended.
He supposed ultimately it had included a happy ending given his now Hydra programming free status, but it had taken one long complicated road to get there.
She gave the place a quick once over but didn't say a word.
"This way," he directed, leading her down the only hallway and into the bedroom tucked behind the kitchen. The full-sized bed took up most of the space, not that he needed one even that large given he had yet to successfully sleep an entire night on it. He directed her to sit and made his way into the bathroom to grab whatever might be useful in patching her up. He healed fairly quickly so he generally didn't keep a whole lot of first aid supplies around.
So, of course, Sam had given him a massive one with everything he could possibly need to perform field surgery as a joke. Bucky had never even opened it, just tossed it under the bathroom sink and forgotten about it. He grabbed it and every towel he could see and carried it all back out into the bedroom to dump next to Ni, who was struggling to get out of the sopping wet coat.
He assisted, tossing it towards the bureau where it landed with a wet thud causing Ni to snort and wince. "Ow," she groused.
"Lose the shirt," he told her.
One eyebrow rose on her forehead but she didn't argue. She got it unbuttoned, but once again needed his assistance to get it off as moving her arm pulled on the slice along her right side. Bucky squatted down before her and grabbed one of the towels to dab at the wound and gauge how much damage had really been caused. She had done the smart thing and kept as much pressure as she could manage on it while they'd dealt with the police, but it still bled sluggishly. He reached for the iodine and poured a generous amount on the towel staining it a reddish-purple. He glanced up at her, the question obvious and she nodded.
She still winced and sucked in a surprised breath when the pain of the astringent hit the raw and tender flesh. Once certain he'd soaked it through, he leaned in close to examine it. Deeper than a scratch, but not quite deep enough to really tear the muscle, it should probably get stitches, but he'd make an attempt at keeping it shut with some butterfly bandages.
"Have any superglue?" she asked her voice deeper and rougher than usual thanks to the pain.
He had to think for a moment. "Maybe? Why?"
"You can glue it shut. It won't be quite as effective as the surgical version, but it works, trust me."
He nodded slowly kind of wanting to ask how she knew that bit of information but deciding now was not the optimal time. "The butterflies too." He got to his feet to hunt for the glue he remembered seeing in a drawer in the kitchen at some point in time. Three drawers later and he found the prize and carried it back to his bedroom with an odd sensation of triumph.
She held a towel to her side to both control the bleeding and get the surface as dry as possible before his poor attempt at triage. He set his hand over hers and gently pulled the towel away debating how to attack this particular problem. "Lay on your left side. I'm thinking butterflies, then gluing the sections in between. We can always add more glue later if the butterflies don't hold."
"Works." Then did as suggested, laying down along the edge of his bed, back to him so that he had easy access to the injury for his repair efforts.
He started with the towel, once again drying the area so that everything would stick and it would hopefully remain sealed so that she could begin to heal. "Ni."
"I trust you, Bucky, far more than some strange doctor at the ER."
With that assurance of confidence that he didn't necessarily think he deserved, he got to work. The slice was roughly five inches long, but was neat and clean, meaning the knife had been sharp as all hell. He placed the butterflies less than an inch apart, making certain the edges of the skin were closed and lined up properly. No need for a nasty scar to go with the nasty memory of the attack.
When he'd completed his task, he encouraged her to stay still until he was certain the glue had dried completely. He helped her sit up, unable to not be aware of the wince as she pulled at the muscles in her side. Only then did he realize she sat on his bed in her bra and a still soaking wet pair of jeans. Her bedraggled hair hanging down around her face, lip swollen, and a bruise already forming on her cheek.
For a long moment, he really wished he'd killed the asshole who had hurt her, though he couldn't decide between quick or painfully slow. Torture had its place in his world and he had to admit that... man had been deserving of more than a little for hurting his Nienna.
Yes, his Nienna, damn it.
He knelt on the floor before her, looking up at her with a desperation he knew he failed to hide on his face. He brushed her wet hair away to tuck it behind her ear, afraid to do more than that and force her into what would ultimately be an untenable situation. They stared into each other's eyes, the need within him burning hotter than he had been prepared for. As he broke, hands pulling away so that he could stand and find her some dry clothes to toss on, she whimpered.
Cupping his cheeks in both her hands almost violently she held him in place then leaned down and kissed him.
She pulled away for an instant, searching his eyes for something then dove back in, her lips meeting his with a desperate hunger he could feel.
He groaned deep in his chest, the sound only seemed to encourage her to greater heights. Her fingers buried in his hair, curling in and pulling, but not in an effort to move him away, but as a clear invitation to increase his participation in this new adventure.
He'd been more than a touch stunned at first, but, after all, he'd been trained to learn new skills quickly.
He surged upright without breaking contact, hands curving about her as support to lay her back on the bed, mouth opening so that he could run his tongue across her lips. She pulled back and hissed when he nipped on the damaged area. "Ni," he growled.
"Yes," she said. "Now."
He wanted so badly to strip her naked and take her that instant, no matter how stupid an idea that might be. "I'm not prepared-" He tried to explain, but she cut him off.
"I am."
That was enough.
. . .
"Shit," Ni muttered under her breath.
"You okay, doll?" He stepped into the bathroom doorway, drying his hands with a towel.
"I'm bleeding on your sheets... sheet.," she told him as she had obviously observed the lack of anything other than a fitted sheet on his bed.
He tossed the towel aside and walked towards her. "Let me see."
She rolled, the naked curve of her glorious ass making him want to go for round three, but as she had stated the wound in her side had split open between a couple of the butterflies and begun to bleed again. "I'll glue it back up in a moment." He stood and headed to the bureau, grabbing a tee and pair of beat-up shorts that used to be sweat pants until he'd blown out the knees and tossed them towards her so she could have something to wear that wasn't wet or covered in blood. "Clean up and get dressed, I'll meet you in the kitchen."
"Yes, sir." She gave him a sloppy salute and slid off the bed and walked to stand before him, not the least bit shy about her lack of clothing. He only wore his boxers and dog tags, so she had one hell of a view as well. She ran her fingers across the tags as she kissed him lightly, staking a claim upon him if he were any judge, not that he minded, if he had to be anyone's he had no issues being hers. "No backing out now, Barnes."
He snorted. "Coffee?"
She nodded, then sauntered off to his bathroom to clean up and put some clothes on as he had requested. Once the door closed he tugged on a pair of gym shorts and headed for his kitchen to get some coffee going for the two of them. He had questions, as did she, he imagined. He was just pouring the hot water into the french press when she came out. Hair twisted up and out of the way, his shirt huge on her, but if she didn't mind neither would he.
She appeared irritated, his dark gray tee lifted on her right side as she pressed a towel to staunch the newest round of bleeding. "I'm gonna need to buy you new towels. I think I've bled on every single one you own."
He shrugged. "Blood comes out. Let me see how much damage you've done." He gestured towards her side.
"'I've done?' I'm pretty certain there were two of us involved in the activities that tore this open." Still, she rotated and peeled off the towel revealing the damage they'd caused during their unplanned, by him at least, romp.
He didn't argue the point as he went to his knees beside her to examine the injury up close. "Looks like the glue didn't hold too well in one section. We'll let it bleed clean for a bit then try again." He urged her to place the towel back over the injury to soak up the blood that continued to ooze from the wound. The towel was a total loss from an esthetic point of view, but would still fulfill its function with the stain so it really was not that big a deal. Plus, he could always buy more. He stood and gazed down into her eyes, noting the flecks of green and gold buried in them to be brighter than usual. "If it won't stay sealed you'll need to hit an ER for stitches. No argument."
She sighed heavily. "Fine," she grumbled, "but only if you go with me."
He wanted to question why she didn't want to go alone as he knew she was fully capable of doing so, but given she'd been attacked while alone just a few hours ago, could see her unwillingness to risk it again so soon. "I can do that. You should really let the police know your... attacker left more than just some bruises."
"I know, I just didn't want to make a big deal about it." She frowned slightly. "At the time anyway. I just wish I understood what the hell is going on lately. A bomb. Jamming my security. Hackers trying to break into my servers remotely, and now this."
Bucky blinked. "Hackers? Since when?" He opened the cabinet containing his few meager dishes and pulled out his lone pair of coffee mugs. He poured coffee into each and added her cream and sugar then handed it to her.
"Since the bomb," she answered. Her eyes narrowed. "Which was not long after I met you so maybe it's all because of you."
Given he'd had similar thoughts on more than one occasion he didn't fault her for having them as well. "Doll, there are far easier ways to get my attention than going after you."
One eyebrow rose on her forehead. "Are you sure about that?"
He shook his head. Not anymore he wasn't, but he had no intention of telling her that. She might think he liked her or something.
She sipped the hot liquid in the cup then glanced about the space, taking in everything this time. "Where do you sleep since you clearly don't use the bed? Wait. Do supersoldiers sleep? I think I read something about that somewhere."
He nodded. "We do, we just don't have to as often." He ducked his head, unable to meet her eyes for a moment. "Uh, the floor usually." He nodded in the direction of the spot, next to his lone chair, across from his TV where he normally crashed into unconsciousness and unwelcome dreams.
"Bucky," the concern that he could hear in that one word astonished him.
"No big deal, doll. Bed's too soft is all. And I've slept in worse places, trust me."
She huffed out a breath. "Doesn't mean the floor is good for you, supersoldier or not." She chewed on her lower lip for a long moment. "You slept on Sam's couch and the air mattress without any real issues," she stated, seemingly more to herself than him. "You should try one of those adjustable beds. The good ones can mimic a hard surface while not leaving bruises on your pressure points the way wood flooring does."
"Ni, that mattress in there is hard as a rock."
She snickered. "Uh, no it isn't. At most, it's a medium and it has got that massive pillow top. Probably feels like a marshmallow to you." She sipped her coffee looking him over with a gimlet eye. "It must be a psychological thing. You just need to retrain your body and mind to sleep alone and comfortably. No self-flagellation allowed." Then she smirked. "Unless you're into that sort of thing, of course."
"I have no clue what I'm into," he muttered, earning a raised eyebrow from her.
"We can figure that out together if you like," she suggested with a straight face and a bland tone.
He shook his head in amusement. "After you stop bleeding, okay?"
She huffed out a breath. "I suppose." She pulled the towel away. "Shall we try this again?"
Bucky nodded in agreement. "Lemme grab the stuff." He set down his cup on the counter and headed back to the bathroom where he'd stashed the first aid gear and returned with it in hand. She kept the shirt out of the way while he glued the reopened area, added another butterfly once dry then covered it with gauze and medical tape. "There, that might hold better this time now that I've actually finished the job."
Ni let the shirt drop back into place. "Well, I did kind of distract you for a bit there."
Bucky tossed the detritus away, stuffed the towel into the sink and ran cold water over it in an attempt to get some of the blood out before it set, and said, "Speaking of that..."
Ni frowned. "Urf. Was I that bad?"
"What? No. Fuck no." He stared at her in no little surprise trying to not go over exactly how not bad she'd been since he would in no way be able to hide the evidence of how interested he continued to be. She really needed time to heal. "Why would you say that?"
She shrugged and sipped her coffee to cover her obvious discomfiture. She winced when the hot liquid found its way onto her split lip. "Ow," she muttered.
"Silly." He shifted in front of her and used his left hand on her chin to tilt her head
up and examine the damage to her lip up close.
"It has been a while... and we were a tad rushed so..."
"Rushed? Maybe the first time." Bucky reminded, causing her to blush much to his surprise and her chagrin. "Since we were rushed, you mentioned being prepared when I wasn't and I was wondering how, exactly."
She raised an eyebrow. "What? Are you not willing to deal with the consequences should I be with child after our first night together?"
Bucky's jaw gaped, like a fish out of water gasping in air it couldn't breathe, unable to come up with a response to that question. Part of him not hating the idea, while the rest of him gibbered soundlessly in terror, in no way qualified to even think about being a parent anytime in the next century.
Nienna took pity on him quickly. "IUD, Bucky, so stop stressing. God, the look of absolute confused terror in your eyes. I usually request that my partner also wear a condom, but it will probably be unnecessary in your case. Unless you have concerns that supersoldiers are more fertile than normal."
Bucky tried not to show the surprise on his face at the directness of her comments. "Uh, I have no idea actually." Not entirely true, he had some idea thanks to Steve's adventures into parenting, but without knowing what precautions he had or had not taken, Bucky would presume the chances of getting anyone pregnant fell well within the norms. "Why exclude me from wearing one though?"
"Because, unless I misunderstand, the serum keeps you from getting ill, which in theory includes STDs, which is why I usually have condoms handy. Even if you were exposed you should either not catch it, or recover from it quickly, though I suppose you could be a carrier," she mused mostly to herself. "I get tested regularly, so I know I'm healthy in that respect. If you have any concerns we can make use of them during any future adventures."
He blinked. He hadn't expected to have this conversation ever, but he could adapt to the changing times. Women were perfectly capable of handling birth control, especially given they were the ones who got pregnant, and, while a trickle of embarrassment ran through him, for the most part, he was thankful she could talk about this so easily. "That might be best, just in case." He drank more of the coffee as he pondered how to ask his next question. "Your IUD is reliable?"
She nodded. "New as of... About a year ago now. I have no interest in bringing a child into the current fucked all to hell world we live in."
"New? As in not your first one?"
She tipped her head slightly as if attempting to ascertain if he meant the question, which he did. "Yes, that is what I'm stating. Why?"
"Well, I had assumed-" he cut himself off and stepped away from her, picking up his coffee mug to hide behind while he tried to figure out a polite way to ask his question.
"Just ask, James, I'll let you know if you're not being politic enough."
He took a moment, then nodded to himself. "I was under the impression that you preferred women as your sexual partners."
"For heaven's sake, why would you think that?" she asked incredulously.
Bucky glanced away before answering, "Well, you've only mentioned your ex Sabine so..." He shrugged.
Ni opened her mouth to respond, shut it, and tipped her head to the side as she clearly changed her mind. "Huh. Well, Sabine wasn't my first female partner, but I've had more than a few males as well. Thus the effort to not get pregnant."
Bucky rolled his coffee mug between his hands as he processed her revelation. "You're bisexual," he finally stated.
"With pan leanings." She drooped noticeably, obviously feeling tired after all she'd been through over the course of the evening.
"You should sit."
She glanced about the room again noting the decided lack of places to do so. She set her coffee down, placed her palms firmly on the counter, and attempted to lift herself up. She hissed in pain, her side not agreeing with her efforts, causing her to mutter and curse under her breath.
Bucky stood before her in an instant. "Don't. Let me help." He placed his hands on her sides, well above her injury, and lifted her easily up until she sat securely on the counter. His hands drifted down to her hips for a long moment before he moved back, resisting the sudden need to kiss her and stake his claim upon her. "Pan? That's not something I'm familiar with."
She snickered. "I'm not surprised. I imagine things were a bit more hetero the last time you had to deal with… dating."
"That would be an accurate description," he admitted, because yeah, even if you were something else, you didn't admit it. You stuck to your gender roles or risked humiliation at the least and death at the worst.
"Pan or pansexual is similar to bisexual, only the gender lines don't matter as much. I'm attracted to the person, not the built-in equipment. Make sense?"
She sat there swinging her legs and sipping the coffee, waiting patiently for him to absorb the information and come to an understanding and perhaps a decision. He imagined not many people were so flexible in their dating, perhaps being unwilling to commit, even short term, with someone who could have potentially been with anyone, male, female, trans. The question he had to ask himself was did it matter?
He had no idea how many partners she'd had over the years, and it had no impact on their relationship other than it being part of what had made her her. He had so much in his past that he feared would cause her to turn away from him, of which he'd revealed so little. He wanted to live in the moment with her, wanted to explore this new chance at life, to discover who he could become and he liked the idea of doing that with her by his side. At least for now. Only time would tell if they were meant to be together for more than a few short months.
"And you picked me?"
She nodded. "You weren't looking for a hookup. I wanted… needed something more than that and, given I knew who you were, thought maybe you could use the same." She gave him a tiny smile. "If you want to go back to the way things were before-"
He shook his head violently. "Unless you want to?"
She laughed lightly. "Not a chance in hell. You're stuck with me now." Then she looked away as if embarrassed. "I was beginning to wonder if you were interested. Don't get me wrong I would be more than happy to just be your friend, but-"
"You wanted more," Bucky finished, fully understanding since he'd wanted the same for a while now. "Why didn't you just tell me?"
"How many times have I invited you to stay over?"
He blinked. "I thought you meant in the guest room," he admitted, now seeing all those offers in an extremely different light. "You must think I'm an idiot."
She shook her head. "I was going with old fashioned. Dating in the forties was a bit different than now, I just figured you still had that mindset. Or that the rumors were true."
"Rumors? What rumors?"
She cleared her throat. "That you and Captain Rogers were more than friends."
Bucky blinked as he absorbed that statement. "Uh, if I'd been given the opportunity I probably wouldn't have said no," he admitted.
She goggled for a few long seconds. "Really?" she finally squeaked.
"Have you seen that man? He's gorgeous."
Ni laughed softly. "I will not argue with the truth. So, you are bi?"
He shook his head. "I… I don't have an actual answer for that. When I was younger, I would have said I was hetero, dated only women in hopes of one day marrying. Like I was supposed to. Then the war happened."
"And opportunities became limited?"
"More that I didn't want to die and leave someone behind."
"Did you have a special someone before you… went MIA?"
Bucky managed a chuckle for her. "No. Just the Howlies and the occasional USO dance partner."
She raised an eyebrow. "I refuse to believe you died a virgin based on earlier."
He damn near choked on his coffee. "What?"
"Well, unless I'm mistaken when you were younger one did not have sex outside of marriage. If you didn't have a steady girl then…" She shrugged.
"Okay, first of all, I did not die a virgin."
Ni chuckled.
"And second, I was trained to do more than just kill people."
"I have never suggested you weren't," she stated, watching him with a remarkably serious look on her face. "I did, however, presume you weren't given a lot of time for romance when under Hydra's tender loving care."
The sardonic tone she used hit the mark just right and he snorted in amusement. "Doll, you ain't kidding there." He stared down into his mug for a long moment as he tried to put into words exactly how he'd been used. "Some of the… jobs I did required a more personal touch so my handlers made certain I was very skilled in every facet needed to complete the mission."
She stared at him, her nose wrinkling in an adorable manner as she endeavored to extract the meaning of his statement. When she did her eyes widened. "Oh. Oh. Wait. You're telling me they would use the Winter Soldier as a sex toy? That you were raped repeatedly over the decades?"
Bucky went eerily still at her summation. He'd never really thought about it that way. Hell, until today he'd never really thought about it at all. They were just more memories, more trauma for him to process and try to integrate into this new person he had been attempting to become.
She had obviously seen his reaction. "James, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to bring up–"
He shook his head, cutting off the rest of her unneeded apology. She'd done nothing to him to warrant it. "You did nothing but ask a question you had every right to. It's not your fault that most of my sexual experiences weren't actually mine."
"Who knew dating Bucky Barnes would be so weirdly complicated?" she asked seemingly of the air itself.
"Dating?" Bucky echoed with an odd hint of hope in his voice. "Is that what we're doing?"
"Come here," she requested.
He did so standing before her with what he hoped was a neutral expression on his face.
She wrapped her legs about him and pulled him close, her hands coming up to trail softly along his chin, running through the scruff he hadn't touched in a couple of days, up along his cheekbones, then back into his hair, digging in and holding on to the short locks. She kissed him, barely brushing her lips along his most likely in deference to her surely painful split lip. Her eyes remained open and boring into his the entire time as if searching for something.
He carefully schooled himself to not react until he understood her purpose.
"Yes, Bucky, I am yours for as long as you want me. You are my friend first and foremost and if this becomes something more I will be quite content with that."
The sigh of relief that escaped surprised him. He cared about her deeply, more than he'd been prepared for, so to know that she had no plans to go anywhere, would remain by his side for the near future at least gave him a sense of peace he'd been lacking since waking up somewhat whole in Wakanda.
"I have a question." His hands settled on her hips, her arms now draped across his shoulders, neither of them having any interest or urgency in moving apart.
"Shoot."
He raised an eyebrow at her.
"Huh. Maybe I should rephrase that the next time."
He snickered, then turned serious. "Why tonight? Why now?"
She leaned back slightly to take his left hand into hers and shifted it upwards so that it rested over the bandages. "Because I could have died tonight. If I'd been a touch slower, or the rain a bit louder, I wouldn't have heard him at that last moment and shifted just enough to turn a stab into a graze. This," she patted his hand, "would have been in my back and I would be in the hospital, if not a morgue."
She released his hand, but he didn't move it, though he did not apply any additional pressure, not wanting to cause her more pain. Instead, his thumb shifted, rubbing lightly across her ribs through the shirt in an effort to assure her that he was indeed here and had no intentions of abandoning her.
"I felt it was worth taking a chance. If you had said no, for whatever reason, I would have understood and respected your decision. I… I care about you Bucky whether or not there's sex involved."
"That's good to know." He leaned in and rubbed the tip of his nose along the side of her neck. He breathed in deeply. "Why do you always smell like cookies?" he murmured, pressing his lips gently against her skin.
"Cookies?" she echoed, voice breathy. "I have no–" she laughed softly. "Not cookies, cocoa butter. Post shower moisturizer."
"Mmmmmm." Bucky made his way back behind her ear, brushing back her still damp hair, using his teeth and tongue to taste her skin. "Cookies."
"Barnes," she groaned. "I do not want to make that trip to the ER because of your sudden cookie addiction."
Bucky sighed but got a hold of himself long enough to pull back and face her. "I suppose I should get you home then."
She frowned, appearing upset by that suggestion. "If you don't want me to stay here, I understand." She shifted as if planning to hop off the counter, but he held her in place.
"Not what I meant, doll. Just figured you'd be more comfortable in your own bed.
"You have a perfectly good bed right here." Her eyes narrowed as she watched his reaction. "We will order food, make up that bed properly and then we will sleep in it together."
"I don't know if I can," he admitted.
"Are you willing to try? You can always read or something, but I really have no interest in sleeping alone tonight and in truth, I think I'd feel safer here. Whoever is after me clearly knows where I live, I hope that by staying here I'll get at least one night of peace."
Hard to argue with that logic. "I'll try," he agreed, leaning in to kiss her on the undamaged section of her lip. "What would you like for food?" he asked as he pulled out his phone.
"Thai? The place around the corner should still be open."
He found that to be a perfect idea given he'd had a hankering for Thai all week, but hadn't had a good enough excuse to get some. "Done."
"Yay. If you point me towards the linen closet I'll get the bed set up."
"You don't have to do that," he told her, encouraging her to remain in place. "Finish your coffee, I'll take care of the rest."
"But–"
He kissed her into silence. "Stay. Please."
"Yes, Sergeant." She tapped a finger on the dog tags he wore. "For as long as you wish."
Bucky's heart skipped a beat or three before tripling its speed, pounding hard in his chest. For an instant, he wanted to tell her about his startling revelation, but the words froze on his tongue, refusing to be uttered aloud at this moment. Instead, he curled his hands about her neck and pulled her close, pressing his forehead against hers. "Good."
. . .
The sound of voices penetrated his sleeping mind, one clear, the other not muffled so much as distant, which made no sense whatsoever given he lived alone. Then he felt the bed, which was odd enough since he never slept in his bed, shift followed by a swallowed groan of what could only have been pain.
Everything clicked into place then. "Doll? Everything okay?"
Nienna sighed softly. "Sorry, didn't mean to wake you."
Bucky rolled over, the light oozing in around the blinds only telling him the sun was up since it faced the building across the alley as opposed to what time of day it might actually be, to see her setting her phone back down on the mattress, as he didn't exactly have nightstands to use.
He had slept, which was astonishing all on its own, and he'd not had a single nightmare for the duration. In fact, his dreams had been less than memorable and far more innocuous than usual. Just some vague memories of knocking down walls like he did with Urban Refurb. Yeah, there could be a deeper meaning there he supposed, but the whole thing had already begun to fall behind the fog of consciousness, so he determined, at least in the short term, that it probably was no more than what it appeared on the surface.
She looked awful even without the appearance of frustration on her countenance. The bruises she'd earned the evening before had begun to blossom like funerary flowers, not the white of lilies, but all dark reds and purples, revealing to him exactly where the impacts, whether fists or brick surfaces, had occurred. She had clearly been hit more than the scrape and split lip had suggested.
"S'all right." He set his right hand on her forearm. "Work call?"
"I wish," she muttered. "It was Detective Mendleson about my– They're calling it a mugging, not that it matters anymore."
He shifted up onto his elbow so he could look her in the eyes. "What happened?"
"He's dead."
"He's what? How?"
Ni shrugged, doing her best to hide the wince. "They don't know. Somehow there were no witnesses and the cameras didn't see a damn thing." She turned to look at Bucky with what could only be a defeated expression in her eyes. "When the guards made their rounds they found him dead on the floor. No obvious trauma. Just dead."
That woke Bucky up completely. "Killed for failing or for getting caught?" he wondered out loud, causing Ni to snap her head around.
"For fuck's sake, Bucky."
"Sorry, doll, but there's been one too many incidents for this to not be someone moving against you."
"You think I don't know that?" she snapped, clearly irritated at his statement of the obvious. She valiantly attempted to sit up straighter only to stop the moment she tried to shove herself upright with a grimace of discomfort and swearing under her breath.
Bucky moved his hand to her waist. "Stop. How bad is it?"
She turned to him, tears of pain dampening her eyelashes. "Bad enough."
With careful deliberation so as to not move the bed more than necessary, he sat up and assisted her in doing so as well. "Where?"
"My back and ribs are not happy with me," she told him.
"Let me see." Not that he would be able to do all that much, but he kind of needed to know what he… they were dealing with.
She leaned forward just far enough to allow him to lift the shirt and he hissed in sympathy as soon as he saw the bruises covering her back. "How did this happen?"
"There may have been a wall or dumpster involved prior to your arrival."
He huffed out a breath. "Anywhere else?"
She shifted to show him the obvious fist imprints on her left ribs. "Doll, why didn't you say anything?"
She tugged the shirt back into place. "Because I didn't know how much it would hurt until this morning," she grouched at him. "This is worse than the first day we sparred full contact."
He snorted. "I remember that. You could barely move." He paused, thinking about that and quickly realizing exactly how miserable she currently felt. "Shit."
"Yeah." She leaned back against the headboard with an audible groan. Her hands came up to her face as the tears began to fall for real this time.
"What's with the waterworks?" he asked as he shifted until his head was practically in her lap and one arm draped across her thighs. Even he could tell they weren't tears of pain, something other than the bruises were causing her to vent the emotions.
Without removing her hands she mumbled, "I've made a mess of everything. You shouldn't have to deal with all this." Her hands fell away, one to his shoulder, the other balling into a fist and impacting the mattress hard enough for him to feel it.
He sat up and wrapped his arms about her, holding her with a firmness that he hoped would reassure her, but it only seemed to upset her even more.
"Regret swiping right yet?" she mumbled more than loud enough for him to hear.
"Why would you say that?" he asked, sounding truly offended.
"Why? Because you shouldn't be stuck saving my ass every other week." She sounded so lost and he recognized the tone. After Shuri had woken him up he'd been much the same, so lost and terrified that anyone uttering just the right words would wipe him away and replace him with his literal evil alter ego.
He knew she hated being the damsel in distress, which is why she'd taken an active role in learning all she could to protect herself. And she'd done incredibly well in the short time he'd been training her. "And what if all this isn't about you? What if they're just trying to get you away from me. To isolate me. To make certain I have no one who cares about me or who would miss me should I fall off the face of the planet. Maybe you should be the one regretting swiping right."
"Never," she insisted. "You are an amazing person and I am thrilled you permitted me to become part of your life. I know there are still days you think you don't, but you deserve to be happy and I can only hope I'm doing my part in helping you achieve that."
Bucky raised an eyebrow at her emotionally emphatic statement.
She shook her head. "It's not the same. I had some clue about you going into this. I knew about The Winter Soldier and your pardon. Figured you carried a mountain's worth of trauma after everything you'd been through. You can't say the same. Aside from what little I put in my profile you walked into this blind."
Bucky nodded slowly acknowledging she had a point. "Ni, that first meeting I went in with no expectations. Hell, I figured we'd talk uncomfortably over a couple of drinks then go our separate ways."
"We closed the place down," she recalled.
"We did. Because you didn't care that I hadn't seen any movies in the last fifty years, or read any of the recent popular authors, or seen Hamilton or Cats, or–"
She set a finger over his lips to get him to stop. "Why would I? What? Were you worried I was going to be a fangirl or something?"
That thought had crossed his mind, but not until after the first couple of dates they'd gone on. "Always a risk when one is infamous I imagine, but not something I had seriously considered. You seemed willing to take me as I am and I appreciated it more than you can understand."
"And there I was worried I'd be too boring and ordinary for an Avenger." she shook her head. "I guess I don't want this, our relationship to become all about you saving me. If that makes any sense?"
"Me saving you? You did that all on your own."
"Bullshit. I had my ass handed to me. As the bruises and inability to stand up without help prove."
"Wrong. You would have been just fine even if I hadn't shown up. Now, I will take some credit since I've been training you, but the cops still would have shown up had I not been there."
"Bucky–"
"You've only been training a few weeks, the fact that you walked away with comparatively minor injuries is all on you." He leaned in to kiss her on the cheek. "You are alive. That is all that matters."
She sighed softly then leaned against him. "And here I thought you'd be disappointed in me."
"Not a chance, doll. Now, how about we get you functional so you can get home. You probably have work waiting."
She grinned at him. "Actually, I don't. After that coding marathon, I decided a couple of days off would be well deserved."
He didn't bother not showing his surprise. Some weeks she seemed to live her work, with her only time away from it spent with him or her other friends. Though he suspected the work is what had kept her going for those five years. Oh, she had friends, he'd met quite a few of them, but she often seemed more dedicated to the work than anything else. "I finished my current job yesterday as well, so I'm free if you want to hang out."
She brightened noticeably. "Well, then I think it's time."
It took Bucky a moment, but he figured out what she meant. "Are you sure? It's a major commitment."
"I'm sure. The only question is do we watch in release order or chronological order?"
"Oh, chronologically definitely. Though how they managed a trilogy out of three hundred pages of The Hobbit is beyond me."
She chuckled. "Well, you are about to find out. Provided I can stand."
He scrambled off his side of the bed, taking care to not jostle her too much, stood before her with his hands out to assist her in getting up, should she require it. "A hot shower to loosen the muscles, some Tiger Balm, then we'll venture out. We can pick up coffee and breakfast on the way to your place."
"Sounds like a plan." She grasped his hands and shifted about until her legs hit the floor. "I wish I knew who was targeting me."
"And why," Bucky added as he led her to his bathroom with the tiny shower. "You should sic your fancy search program on it. They might be covering their trails well, but someone sold them the tech that jams your security. There is a reason this is happening, if we can figure that out, we'll be able to narrow the field and go from there."
She stared up at him as he started the shower. "Will you hate me if I say I've been afraid to?"
"No." He kissed her on the top of the head, then moved to find some waterproof tape to cover the bandage on her side. He'd clean the wound after the shower, and make certain there were no signs of infection. "But I think the time has come. The police might think this was a random mugging but we both know it's not."
"Time to be proactive I suppose."
"Exactly," Bucky agreed. "Need help getting undressed?"
"Given I don't think I can bend enough to get your shorts off, yes." She frowned deeply. "I must look like absolute shit to you." She had avoided looking at the mirror, probably not wanting to see exactly how much damage had been done.
"Alive," he reminded her. "And besides I don't mind helping." His hands went to the hem of the shirt she wore and tugged it upwards, she lifted her arms with groans of discomfort as he got it off of her. While on his knees to apply the waterproof tape, he slipped the bottoms off.
He steadied her as she stepped over the lip of the shower to stand with her hands pressed against the wall while the stream of heated water pounded into her back.
She hissed initially but after a few moments began to relax as the heat did its job to loosen the tight muscles. The bruising looked even more impressive under the bright lighting of his bathroom. Little wonder she felt such discomfort. She'd taken most of the damage to her upper back, protecting her ribs and organs from blows as he had taught her. Her jacket had surely absorbed some of the impact, but when being violently flung into a brick wall or metal dumpster there was only so much even leather could do. She hadn't complained about the back of her head hurting so he presumed she'd done what she could to minimize the impact there.
Given her limited training, she'd done everything just right and survived.
Thank god for that.
She turned her head to face him, standing there watching her. "You gonna join me, soldier?"
He hadn't wanted to be presumptuous but had made the decision to remain nearby in case she had any problems. He fully expected her to break down at some and had honestly been surprised she hadn't already. The adrenaline produced during the fight should have caused a crash long before now, but aside from the tears shed not all that long ago she'd shown signs of real distress.
He decided to ask her about it later. Right now she wanted his company and the comfort he somehow managed to give to her.
"As you wish."
She chuckled and watched as he stripped and stepped into the tiny space, blocking the water for a moment until they'd shifted about her standing in front of him back still to the spray until she was receiving the majority of the water stream.
She pressed her forehead into his chest, hands settling on his hips. "Thank you, Bucky."
He rested his chin on the top of her head. "Always, Ni."