Chapter 9: Of Confrontations and Cowards

Disclaimer: I am just a mere visitor in the sublime world constructed by J.K Rowling. Anything that rings a bell is hers.

Chapter 9

"Here Miss Ky." I looked down at the familiar voice and let out a squeal. I hadn't seen her in weeks; I was just about to ask Sirius to summon her before I left for school.

"Kinkz!" I stopped dusting out the old cauldron and ran to her. She smiled up at me and then put on her 'scolding' face.

"This is no happy meeting Miss Ky. I is coming here to give you this." I looked down at what she was waving at me, and I burst out laughing.

"What on earth are you doing with my bra Kinks." I grabbed the black object from her, still laughing.

"This am no joke! No joke! Kinky find this when she is cleaning the boys' room, under the Potter boy's bed. What am bra doing under Potter boy's bed? What am Ky's bra doing under Potter boy's bed?" She wagged her little finger at me.

How did I forget the bra?

For the past three days I would sneak into Harry's bed after spending the day tending to Linus. Once Harry fell asleep, I would slip out of my bra. It was the one item of clothing I could not fall asleep wearing. And Harry's hands never travelled so that wasn't a problem and just before I left, I would take it with. This morning, however, the twins had surprise apparated into their room. Luckily, we decided to leave the invisibility cloak out just in case and I ducked under it and snuck out. I must have forgotten to grab this.

I gasped down at her and held my hand at my chest, "Why Kinky, it almost sounds like you're accusing me of something that's too perverse for my innocent little mind to comprehend."

She stared up at me straight faced, "If Ky am innocent, Kinky are a giant." She turned to the shiny cauldron, "Oh and looks at that…Kinky is no giant." I laughed, sassy Kinky is my favourite.

"Look Kinks, it's nothing you need to worry about. And it's definitely nothing you need to be getting others to worry about, comprendé?" She continued to stare sternly up at me; I rolled my eyes at her.

"Harry's been having trouble; I've just been helping him deal with it in a totally above-board way…even though it's under the sheets. Trust me Kinks. "I looked at her sincerely and she finally lessened the glare.

"Just be carefuls Miss Ky." And with a crack she was gone. I shouted into the emptiness, "Hey, where's my goodbye hug?"

Two seconds later I got just what I asked for as a blur of brown jumped on me and squeezed. Mi let go, her face aglow. I laughed back at her, "And where are you off to?"

"What?" She asked, too happy to be confused.

"Goodbye hug? Never mind…what's up?"

She held out a letter for me and I took it. It was the annual School Letter. I read through it quickly and then looked at Mi, I looked back at the letter. "Big fan of Wilbert Slinkhard? His is the only new book this year. Aside from the Standard but then again, you've always been crazy for Miran…." I stared at the shiny P-badge she held out. "Mi did you make a badge to show the world how much you like Peanut Butter And Jelly, more commonly referred to now as P BAJ. Because if you did, that is brilliant! I know the simple treat doesn't get enough credit. This is a better cause than your whole House Elf thing. I think you'll get more people to join as well."

She looked at me wide eyed and I burst out laughing, I hugged her tightly and attempted swinging her around but couldn't manage that so I just hugged her longer, "If it was anyone else, I would be saying condolences but since it's you, CONGRATS! Prefect! I know how much you wanted this."

"I just can't believe it!"

"Well, that's absolute crazy talk, who'd you think would get it? Lavender with her constant chattering in each class or Parvati with those ridiculous contraptions she's always putting in her hair."

She laughed, "For someone who likes breaking the rules so much you sure don't like them breaking the rules."

"I don't like breaking the rules, it's just something I happen to be good at. And its only cool when it's fun, not when it's for insipid things like that lot."

She blushed at me, "I kind of thought it would be you. Our results are so similar; I mean we were few marks away from each other either way for most subjects."

I laughed at her, "Seriously! You beat me at everything except Potions. And I get about a hundred detentions a year…maybe even more AND, you're absolutely perfect for the position Mi. Now stop blushing like a bimbo, I'll only allow it when you're made Head Girl two years from now. Now come on, you need to tell your parents."

She hooked her arm into mines, and we ran up the stairs. She tore into the boys' room, but I shouted that I would be just a second and I ran back down. I found who I was looking for in the kitchen,

"Hey Fatty."

She turned and glared at me, "That wasn't funny then and it's not funny now." She looked down at her body self-consciously, "I haven't been able to work out…am I really…"

"Oh, shut up Nessie, I can physically see myself liking your scrawny butt less and less as we speak."

"I'm not scrawny Ky!"

I swatted her words away, "How's Linus?"

Her face fell, "The same."

"Don't worry, he'll come around. He'll never miss my first day back at school." I said it with conviction. "Anyway, I have come here with need of your expertise. I want to throw a party for Mi -"

Mrs Weasley rushed in, mopping up tears on her apron, "Did you hear? Ronnie has been made a prefect!"

Nessie rushed to her, "Oh that's wonderful news Molly, just fabulous! Is that why you want to arrange a party? For Hermione and Ron?"

"Oh, that's my exact thought" Mrs Weasley said glowing at me, she turned to Nessie, "We best leave for Diagon Alley now, I've got quite a bit on my list."

Ginny walked in at the time and Mrs Weasley turned to her, "Oh Ginny dear, help Ky with the party whilst we're shopping. Oh, a Prefect…" Mrs Weasley said, grabbing her cloak. Nessie grabbed hers and turned to me, coming scarily close,

"Personal space Nessie-"

"Are you OK?" She whispered at me. I looked back at her, trying to figure out what she was talking about. When realisation dawned on me, I smiled at her, "Hell yes, I never expected the badge, and it would not have been a happy surprise. The biggest joke would be making me a prefect; Nonno is funny but not deranged. Anyway, Mi is a much worthier candidate, I wouldn't have it any other way." She smiled at me and rubbed my arm, and then she walked out with Mrs Weasley. I turned to my favourite redhead.

"You make the banner; I'll send the invites." She turned and stormed out.

I let her go; I'm all for staying out of each other's way.

Another thought however had me rush out the door after her. If Ron was made prefect, then Harry…

I barged through the door and Harry sprung up off the bed. I closed the door behind me and walked towards him, he was all flustered, as if lying on one's bed was a crime. A funny expression was on his face, I could only explain it as- 'Fuck this shit.'

He shook his head slightly and when I reached the bed, he pulled me by the waist and I fell forward, me on him. I didn't squeal…this Harry was different. He wasn't all contemplative and intense like he had been these past few days. Sometimes I could feel his head buzzing with questions as he stared at the back of my head as we slept and sometimes, I felt like he wanted to say something but then…he didn't. He never brought up the kiss, actually he never brought anything up…we just lay here…in silence, and then sleep.

I looked down at him, all lines of worry that was on his face disappeared. He gave me a crooked smile and turned us over, I fell lightly on the bed, but I didn't emit a sound, my mouth enamoured with much more interesting things. It was when his hands were ascending up steadily, playing across my ribs when I heard the footsteps.

He didn't seem to hear it, so I turned him over and stood up. He looked confused for a second, but I guess his senses kicked in and he jumped up.

I walked out as Ron entered. I hugged him, and congratulated him and walked down the stairs thinking 'who the heck did I just kiss, because it wasn't Harry Potter.'

I walked into the room I shared with the girls and went to the window where Mi was tying a note to Hedwig.

"Hey you." I petted the bird dreamily, still lost in thought. She pecked my hand affectionately and flew off. Mi and I must have looked like idiots, staring out the window with dreamy smiles as the owl became a spot in the distance.

"So, I made out with Harry."

She sighed, "I wondered when you were going to tell me."

"You're less surprised than I thought you would have been?" I leaned my head against the window frame, still facing forward, still looking off in the distance.

She copied my stance, "Well you were not very secretive were you, and I practically walked in on you."

"No, it was Ron that practically walked in on us."

"No, it was me…when I called you the day Linus got injured." She stopped for a second, "You guys made out again didn't you!"

"A few minutes ago…"

She sighed again, "What's with all the sighing?"

"Well, you're telling me you made out with him, and on more than one occasion. You didn't say anything about dating."

"Because there is nothing to say about dating…"

"You're not serious."

"Oh, come now Mi, I thought a year of friendship would have taught you better. It was just a few snogs."

"It was your first kiss."

"That it was." I smiled, "It was his too, right?"

She shrugged, "I think so, I think he would have said if he kissed someone before. He's always too busy, saving something or someone."

"Well, I wouldn't have known because his flying skills take a back seat to his kissing skills."

She laughed, "And since when were you such an expert on smooching?"

"Believe me, I may not have any experience in the matter, but it's like tasting chocolate for the first time. You don't have to taste all the other sweets to know that it's the best, when you know…you know."

She chuckled, "Well I knew this was coming. I mean honestly, I expected it to happen last year but then Cedric came along…."She stopped abruptly, I didn't have to look at her to know her face was set in horror. We never spoke of him…she brought it up once after it happened, and I ignored her. She knew me better than to ask again. I slammed all the emotions that wanted to come up back in its box and pushed it into the corner. I took a few deep breaths and she mumbled next to me.

"So, Harry hasn't asked you out? He just kissed you? That's not like him."

It was my turn to sigh, "Harry gets that we can't date. If we date the world will implode. I mean can you imagine us…together? The amount of trouble we respectively get into combined to form the epitome of catastrophe. I mean the fact that he never brought it up means that he gets it…we don't like each other like that. What I do like is how nice it feels when he kisses me, makes me forget all the crap going around like worrying about Linus and where's Len and if Sev is OK and Nonno…and everyone."

It was true, those few moments when our lips met were bliss. It was as if everything else was background music, his lips setting the tempo that my own too readily followed. There was no talking and complication. If he wanted more, he would have found me after the first kiss, sat me down and told me so. But he didn't. And I was fine with that. This was just another distraction. A very pleasant one at that. I didn't want to spoil it by questioning things that didn't need questioning.

"OK I can't do this!" I raised an eyebrow at Mi, turning to face her.

"Well lucky I'm not asking you to then…unless you want to…borrow him…?"

"What! No Ky, I mean I can't watch you do this."

She stared at me with her hands on her hips, a determined glint in her eye. "I don't like that pose! No Mi, you were supposed to only use that on Ron, we had a deal, now stop." I tugged her hands on her hips and tickled her sides and she swatted me away, the laughter falling off her lips.

She breathed to regain composure and I smiled, there wasn't enough laughter in this house. She quietened down, her face still ruddy and then looked at me. Suddenly her bottom lip trembled and there were tears in her eyes. She sniffed and I stared at her in shock. She then lurched herself at me and bawled into my shoulder.

"Mi! What's going on? What happened?" I tugged at her hair before she looked back at me. She was trying hard to regain her composure.

"I'm being so silly, sorry, I'm sorry."

"Did something happen? Is something wrong?"

"Yes, Ky something happened! Something is wrong!" She shouted at me, almost angrily.

I looked back at her shocked, "What! What happened? Did somebody do something? Speak Mi!"

"It's you! You're what's wrong! You!"

I looked at her, the random outburst leaving me speechless. She mopped up her tears and composed herself, fire still in her eyes. "Cedric is dead."

I let out a breath and shook my head, turning to the door. She pulled me back though, and grabbed my shoulders, "CEDRIC IS DEAD!"

I tried getting passed her, but she wouldn't let me. I saw flashes of green light; they were whizzing through my head like disco lights. "CEDRIC IS DEAD!"

"I KNOW THAT!"

"NO! YOU DON'T! You won't even mention his name. You don't want to talk about it. You didn't want to talk about it last term but I could understand that because it was still early. You just needed time. But it's been six weeks, and you still can't even say his name. You did so much to get here, to be here and now that you are all you do is spend time alone. Either in that lab you're cleaning out or in the library! You…you're pushing everyone away! All you do is do. You're constantly keeping yourself busy, you're not giving yourself time to think! To deal-"

"JUST stop ok Mi just stop."

"No, I can't! I'm so worried Ky! I don't want anything bad to happen, you need to deal with this otherwise it's going to eat you up from the inside. You need to talk about him. You liked him; it's OK to feel the way you do. It's-"

I took a deep breath and tried to slow my heart down, "Mi…please just stop. Now. Please."

She let go of my shoulders, "I just want to help."

"Then just drop it." I turned and walked away, trying to chase away the empty grey that clouded my existence.

A/N: I empathise a lot with Hermione, it's really frustrating to try to be there for someone who isn't fully opening up to you. Though, Ky isn't fully opening up to herself either; until she does that, she's not going to make progress. What do you guys think of their conversation at the end?

Kalina