Disclaimer: If I owned Final Fantasy VII, Zack wouldn't have died and things would have been a lot sillier.

Black Ghost

(follow-up to Escape Plan Green)

"Remember," Zack whispered to Cloud, Tifa, and Barret. "If the guards spot us, we're done for. Follow my lead."

Timing his footsteps to match the maroon-clad Shinra guards, Zack dashed across the lobby. Once certain the other side was clear, he timed the way and waved the others across. Sneaking through the building he'd once traveled freely was a surreal experience. The building had changed in the five years he'd been gone, but enough remained the same to raise pangs of nostalgia. Half a second after waving Cloud across, Zack cursed and stepped from his alcove to wave the blond back. Stuck in his daydreaming, he had fallen out of time and the two guards whirled to face the exposed men. One sentry reached for his panic button, then froze, gaping at Zack with wide eyes.

"Davies!" he cried, pointing at Zack. "It's the Black Ghost!"

"Really?" Davies' eyes widened and his hand fell away from his radio. His eyes flickered to Cloud. "Does that mean he's Mirage?"

Zack and Cloud exchanged confused looks. This was hardly the reception they expected. Taking advantage of the pair's inattention, Cloud continued across the lobby.

"Wait!" The first guard called, dashing toward them, Davies not far behind. Zack and Cloud whirled, hands on the hilts of their swords.

"We don't want to fight!" Davies cried, waving his hands. "Polson and I just want your pictures!"

"Pictures?" Zack frowned, hand reflexively loosening. "Why?"

"I was one of the few people to see you and Mirage," Polson explained, brown eyes gazing up earnestly. "But nobody believed me." He hung his head.

"We know we don't have a chance of beating you both," Davies interjected, eyes flicking to the two huge swords. "But we could make things difficult for you." His hand hovered over the transmitter on his wrist.

"So if you let us take pictures of you both, we'll let you go without trouble and pretend you beat us!" Polson cried, whipping out a camera. Davies and Polson circled the dumbstruck pair, cameras flashing wildly, and then backed away.

"Thanks so much!" Polson cried, cradling his camera tenderly. "We'll just pretend to be unconscious over there. Have a nice day!" Polson and Davies returned to their patrol path and sprawled lifelessly on the tiles. Cloud and Zack couldn't help but overhear their excited whispers.

"We're going to make a fortune!" Davies crowed. "Black Velvet pays 5,000 gil for pictures of Fair."

"Even better than that," Polson laughed, "Golden Illusion gave Marcos 20,000 gil for a grainy image of the sickly Mirage. Imagine what they'll pay for these babies!" The two laughed and went still.

Cloud shot Zack a horrified look. "Are they talking about what I think they are?"

"I'm afraid so," Zack said with a shaky laugh as they rejoined Tifa and Barret. "Although I thought mine was called 'Zack fan club'..."

"Cloud?" Tifa rushed to the pale blond's side. "What's wrong?"

"Fan club..." Cloud whispered in a haunted voice, eyes distant. Tifa frowned and looked up at Zack for an explanation.

"Midgar fan clubs can be frightening," Zack explained, rubbing the back of his neck. "It hardly helps that his fans are 'rabid'," Zack shuddered. "Mine sound like they are too, but Cloud's are much worse."

The blond whimpered and hugged himself. On one occasion as an infantryman, he was sent to run crowd control for the Silver Elite. He still had scars. Maybe he could find some isolated corner of the world where he could die in shame.

"Hey, look on the bright side," Zack's violet eyes sparkled with mischief. "At least your fan club is 'Golden Illusion' instead of 'Golden Chocobo' or my personal favorite, 'The Yellow Fro-' Whoa!" Zack yelped, barely dodging Cloud's blade.

"Let's just keep going," Tifa plead, shooting the ex-SOLDIER a warning look.

Many hours later...

"What do we do?" Tifa cried, peering through the lobby doors at the army of machines and men outside the building. "We're completely surrounded!"

"Don't worry," Zack grinned. "I've got this covered." He pulled a green materia from his pouch, a crazed look in his eyes.

Cloud groaned and covered his face with his hands.

Author's Notes: While I had a small follow-up for "Escape Plan Green" in mind, I wasn't going to write it yet... But Zack took charge and mixed things up :P I'm thinking of using this story as a place for random, silly Zack-survives stories. Would anyone prefer I not do so? Please review and tell me what you think.