Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy Seven... it is probably better that way...
Chapter Four: Zack's Hero
"Why didn't you use this spell on me when we were coming to Midgar?" Cloud grumbled as his miniaturized form dodged around an enormous dust bunny.
"Until Alfonse was at a high enough level, I did use mini," Zack defended with a faint whine.
Cloud's jaw dropped and he whirled back to face the ex-SOLDIER. "Then why did you switch to Toad?"
Zack grimaced. "Do you really need to ask? Carrying a mini-Cloud made it look like I had a doll fetish! A dude carrying a frog, on the other hand..." He straightened as much as he was able in the low clearance floor vent. "My pride as a male was at stake!"
"Your 'pride as a male'?" The blond snarled. "Because of that 'pride', I know what the best tasting bugs on two continents are!"
Tifa and Aerith paled and gagged behind their hands. The faint greenish light of mako residue on the walls only emphasized their reaction.
"Hey, I ate them too!" Zack defended.
"That's sick man!" Barret grimaced.
"Do you prefer violet hoppers or Corel beetles?" Red XIII asked Cloud with a note of interest.
"'Violet hopper'?" Cloud frowned slightly. "Are those the ones that taste like peanut butter and chocolate?" The feline nodded and Cloud scratched the back of his head, bemused at the turn in conversation. "Yeah, those were the best."
"Man, Cloud, you have no taste." The raven-haired soldier shook his head. "Those green and red ones near Junon had the most interesting flavor!"
"Junon dung beetle," the feline hummed, "interesting choice."
Zack's smile cracked as Aerith dashed away and puked around a corner. When she shakily returned, he coughed, pulling the party's attention to himself. "Let's keep moving." Cloud nodded and took the lead.
"So how does 'male pride' fit with you using Mini instead of Toad this time?" Aerith asked after she regained her composure.
The raven-haired man rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "Much as I don't like being thought of as a doll, I'd rather not get a concussion hopping through these air vents."
An unearthly squealing interrupted Aerith's reply.
Cloud leaped away from the pincers of what looked like a cross between a rat and a scorpion. Whipping out his stolen Hardedge, the blond spun in midair, pushed off the ceiling and stabbed the monstrosity through its neck. The creature gave a wet gurgle and collapsed. Yanking his sword free, Cloud shook his head lightly. "That was easier than I expected," he muttered.
Zack shook off his shock and rushed to Cloud's side. "That was awesome Spike! Man Cloud, your SOLDIER evaluator must have been blind to miss talent like yours!"
"He was perfectly aware of my talent." Cloud snorted, skirting the twitching corpse.
"What?" Zack cried. "But if you pulled moves like these, why didn't you make it into SOLDIER?"
Cloud grimaced and gave a sheepish laugh. "It might have something to do with me pantsing him for one too many short jokes..."
Barret snorted and the girls gasped.
The raven-haired SOLDIER stopped dead, jaw slack. "You? The cadet that thrashed and utterly humiliated second-class Ferguson was you?"
Cloud scratched the back of his head and gave a quiet nod. Zack whooped and seized Cloud's hand, shaking it roughly.
"Oh man, Cloud, you're a hero to ninety percent of SOLDIER." Zack beamed. "Ferguson loved to poke at peoples' sore points, but no one called him on it until you. Heck I think Hojo came higher on the popularity vote than him." Zack mused, and shuddered.
"As amusing as this might be," Red spoke up, "I would rather leave this place, the dust is horrible." The leonine beast grumbled.
"Right," Cloud nodded, pulling his hand from Zack and retaking the lead.
"Wow Cloud, you really seem to know your way around here! Of course, everything looks the same to me." Aerith chirped after a few minutes travel.
"You sure we ain't going in circles?" Barret growled as they went through another intersection. He missed the familiar trail-signs that marked the paths of the cramped Corel coal mines.
"Positive."
"How?" Zack asked curiously.
"Besides the fact that you're leaving a clear trail?" Cloud asked, jerking his chin at the ceiling where Zack's hair swept an obvious path through the dust. Zack yelped, whipped off a glove and gingerly felt the clumps of old dust clinging to his not-quite-so-black spikes.
"Why didn't anybody tell me?" he whined over the poorly concealed snickers.
"What was the other reason?" Red XIII asked, allowing the boisterous human to groom and regain his composure in a semblance of privacy.
"Cloud's always had a really good sense of direction," Tifa chimed in with a half shrug.
"I, myself, am impressed," Red XIII added with a slight growl. "We've yet to recross our scent trail, yet your confidence hasn't diminished in the least. Perhaps you've been this way before?"
Cloud shook his head, "It is my first time in these vents." He paused, and fingered a mesh grating on the wall. "The intake beyond this should lead us to the back of the building."
Barret snorted folding his arms, "I call bull."
"Huh?" Cloud paused, hand on the hilt of his sword.
Aerith giggled, "He's right Cloud, it does sound like you've been here before."
Cloud shrugged and unleashed a cross-slash on the mesh grating. He carefully lowered himself down into the lower passage and then reached up to help Tifa down. "Someone gave me a bit of odd homework and I ended up memorizing the building's ventilation blueprints."
"Dammit Cloud, you could have been my partner! I had to wait an extra year or two to witness your awesomeness!" Zack whined and mentally patted himself on the back when he received one of Cloud's small, genuine smiles.
Twenty minutes and another few mutant rats later, the tunnel took a steep downturn.
"Ah! I smell fresh air!" Zack cried. "Well, as fresh as air gets in Midgar." He corrected sheepishly after Red XIII's glare. The luminescent green haze of the city came into view.
"Um, Spike, were those on your diagrams?" The ex-SOLDIER asked, pointing ahead. Thick, vertical bars blocked access to the outside.
Cloud's brow furrowed and he stroked his chin. "Yeah, they were. But with a mixture of my ice materia and your Buster sword, we should be able to break them."
"What?" Zack yelped, stroking the handle of the Buster Sword. "Why don't I hold the spell while you hit the metal?"
Cloud rolled his eyes. "My Hardedge may have a keener edge, but I don't trust Shinra weapons enough to take the hit." When it looked like his friend wasn't moving, Cloud caught Tifa's eyes, raised his eyebrows, and slanted a look at Aerith.
The young woman rolled her eyes and whispered into the Ancient's ear. They did sort of owe him for trying to get him to cross-dress again...
"Angeal, please forgive me what I'm about to do," Zack whispered five minutes later with the Buster sword awkwardly pressed to his brow in the low passage. With a loud yell, he smashed the blade against the frozen bar and the metal shattered like glass. The party emerged in a filthy alley.
"Man, am I glad to be out of there!" Zack cried, stretching his back, wincing at the pops it made.
"Base, this is Covert Agent 49B reporting." A brunette spoke into a cell phone, her businesslike tone underlaid with a note of excitement. "Primary targets Ghost and Mirage spotted in company of Flower and three unknowns. Commencing operation."
Snapping the phone shut, she turned to the party. "First Class Zack Fair, Private Cloud Strife and company, I am here to get you through the Shinra blockade." Her mud-brown eyes lit with an inner fire as her eyes flicked from Zack to Cloud. She fingered a set of pins on her chest. One was black with a violet "BV" on it, the other was a cheery yellow with white "GI" inscribed on it.
"Zack... Are those what I think they are?" Cloud's whisper bore the faint note of hysteria Zack hadn't heard since a trap had landed the poor infantryman onto a sleeping tonberry. The glowing blue eyes took on a haunted look. Zack followed his friend's gaze and felt the blood drain from his face.
Pleased at the attention, she stroked the badges proudly, "These are badges for Black Velvet and Golden Illusion. I was one of the first members."
Zack swallowed thickly and regretted his lack of cornucopias. "Not that we're not grateful for the offer, I think we'll pass."
Her brow furrowed. "Please come quietly, I'd hate to have to force you, but it's really for your own good." She pulled an orb filled with rainbow sand from her bag. "Although, this option isn't without its benefits!" She purred.
"Dream Powder!" Zack hissed at the sight. "Run!" He bellowed. Already ahead of the game, Cloud whirled for the vent, but it was too late.
"Don't worry, I won't hurt you." Agent 49B soothed with a light giggle, tossing the rainbow sand over the party. "After all, I'm one of your biggest fans..."
Cloud gave a final choked whimper and then sleep overcame him.