Chapter 28 Dreams and Departures
The soft, sweet scent of flowers tugged on Cloud's awareness rousing him from the silent unconsciousness. Fighting the strange lassitude holding him down, he slowly opened his eyes. At first, everything was white. He drifted in the blinding brilliance; confused, but free from the blinding pain that gripped him at the Temple of the Ancients. With the memory of that location, a thrill of horror engulfed him at what he'd done and what he would have done to Aerith if Zack hadn't intervened. Nausea churned in his stomach and he trembled with self-loathing, he'd handed over the means to destroying the world to Sephiroth.
Maybe it would be better if he didn't wake from whatever luminous limbo he'd drifted into.
As if mocking his thoughts, the white faded away and a verdant forest appeared. Sunlight dappled the green grass and moss coating the forest floor. The leaves of the trees trembled in a gentle breeze, sounding like the rushing of a distant stream. A distant point on the path ahead shone with sunlight, like the light at the end of a forested tunnel.
Aerith peeked out from behind one of the trees, her expression difficult to read and asked, "Cloud, can you hear me?"
For a moment, he debated against answering, but eventually sighed and responded, "Yeah, I hear you. Sorry about what almost happened back there…"
She stepped from behind the tree and shook her head gently. "Don't worry about it."
"I can't help it," Cloud replied. He shook his head sharply as if to shake loose whatever power Sephiroth used to control him.
"Oh?" Aerith hummed and stepped back behind her tree. She hopped back on the path from behind a different tree, one closer to Cloud's position. "If you must, then go ahead and worry about it," she teased, dashing closer with an impish grin. "And while you're doing that let me handle Sephiroth."
Cloud spluttered in shock and Aerith giggled into one of her hands, fading to white and vanishing only to reappear from behind a nearby tree on the right of the path. She calmly walked out and shook a finger at him before commanding, "Now Cloud, I want you to take care of yourself and look after Zack."
She went back behind the tree and then leaned back out grinning impishly. "I don't want either of you to have a breakdown, okay? You boys push yourselves too hard."
When next she reappeared, she drifted down from the branches of the trees and Cloud's perspective suddenly shifted, falling from above to land on the path beside her. Unable to contain his curiosity, Cloud asked, "What is this place?"
Aerith smiled, spreading her hands wide as she explained, "This forest leads to the City of the Ancients. It is called The Sleeping Forest."
"Because I'm really asleep?" Cloud asked, raising one eyebrow as he delivered the weak joke.
Aerith giggled, "No, silly. While you're right that you're asleep, that's really its name." She shook her head and her playful expression faded. "It's only a matter of time before Sephiroth uses Meteor to try and destroy the Planet. That's why I'm going to protect it. Only a survivor of the Cetra like me can do it."
She turned and started walking toward the light, "The method of doing it is just this way." She turned back and shook her head slightly before demurring, "At least, it should be." She raised one hand and laid it over her heart. "I feel it… it feels like I'm being led by something."
She shuddered, her eyes clearing and she focused back on Cloud with a wistful smile. "Anyway, I'll be going now. I'll come back when it's all over… Tell Zack I'm sorry, okay?"
"Aerith?" Cloud asked, worried at the finality of her tone. The young woman turned and dashed down the path, growing smaller and smaller with the distance. Cloud tried to follow, but he moved like an insect stuck in jelly, his legs churning but never gaining any ground.
The instant she vanished in the brightness, whatever power held Cloud captive vanished. While his heart screamed for him to follow, somehow he knew it would be pointless to try. His shoulders slumped, it didn't feel like Aerith planned to rejoin them, otherwise why would she ask him to pass her apologies to Zack?
Sephiroth's smooth chuckle penetrated the serenity of the forest, "So she's going to interfere is she? She'll be a difficult one, don't you think?" Cloud shivered at the unspoken implication that he'd help.
Sephiroth dropped from the canopy to land in a smooth crouch. "We'd best take action to stop her," he continued. "You'll help me, won't you Cloud?" His head started to tilt up the edges of a smile curling his lips but before their eyes could meet, the dreamscape vanished.
Cloud opened his eyes slowly, body aching from a long, unnatural sleep. The bed beneath him was slightly lumpy and smelled faintly of mildew, but was softer than the ground they'd slept on for most of their journey. Stroking the rough green comforter over his body, he blearily looked at the rough stonework of the circular wall beside him. He could hear at least one other person in the room, the faint scent of cinnamon and honeysuckle from Tifa's soap tickled his nose.
Rolling his head to the side with a pained groan, he looked over to where Tifa and Zack sat on the edge of the other bed, watching over him. From the doorway Barret huffed, "'Bout time you woke up. You looked like you was havin' a nightmare."
"How are you feeling?" Tifa asked quietly, her lower lip swollen from anxious biting. Cloud struggled, trying to sit up but slumped back down when he failed.
Cloud shrugged, and rasped, "Weak." He rolled his eyes to Zack, the man's shoulders hunched and shadows under his luminous violet eyes. "She's gone, isn't she?" Cloud only half asked, reading the answer in the defeated look on his friend's face.
Tifa's eyes widened, shocked that she hadn't had to tell Cloud about the young woman's disappearance. She nodded and replied, "She put some kind of herbs in our food that knocked us all out for a while. The others are out looking for her but…"
"She left a note," Zack interjected, his eyes locking on Cloud filled with a mixture of anger and hope. "The only reason I'm not out searching for clues with the others is she said she told you where she was going."
Barret snorted, "And I told him you hadn't opened your eyes or done anythin' more than moan since we left the temple."
Cloud struggled, finally forcing himself upright, and shook his head. "Call the others back from searching, she's long gone. She's on her way to the City of the Ancients. She gave me some clues but I think we should all be here so I don't waste time having to repeat things."
Barret shook his head but stepped out of the room to contact the others with his PHS. Zack narrowed his eyes at Cloud and asked, "'Waste time'? What do you mean by that?"
Cloud swung his feet off the bed and started pulling his boots back on. Ignoring the protests of his stiff and aching muscles he tightened the laces and replied, "Sephiroth was in the dream too, he plans to stop whatever she's doing to hinder Meteor." Once he had his boots on, he stood, swaying slightly and breathing hard as his vision grayed. After a moment, he shook his head and slowly shuffled out of the room.
A middle aged man with spiky black hair sat in front of a half-finished chess game, his expression flat and distant. A memory tugged at him and he looked back at Zack asking, "Are we… in Gongaga?"
Zack nodded, slipping past Cloud to open the door. Tifa bowed to the man at the chess game and said, "Thank you for letting us use your spare bed while our friend recovered."
The man's eyes momentarily cleared and he smiled faintly, "It was no trouble, I would hate if you tried to carry him up the pole entrance to the inn's rooms and dropped him or hurt yourselves."
Outside, the oppressive heat of Gongaga swept over Cloud, a faint sheen of sweat breaking over his skin. The added layer of damp made him feel even more uncomfortable in the grimy residue of their exertions in the temple plus his unknown days in bed. He squirmed once and followed Zack down one of the paths in the town to a small area the party commandeered to camp in while waiting for Cloud to recover.
Cid, Red XIII, and Barret waited around the fire pit. They looked up as Cloud, Zack, and Tifa approached. "Cloud!" Yuffie's voice cried before the others could do more than open their mouths for a greeting. She squawked in outrage a second later. He carefully turned to see her trapped in Vincent's restraining hold. "What's the big idea?" she shouted at Vincent, flailing one fist and nearly striking him in the face.
He dodged the errant limb and huffed, "He's fresh from days of bed rest and still unsteady on his feet. Wait until he's recovered some before you tackle him."
She rolled her eyes and huffed, "Why do you gotta go and use logic on me Vinny?" Vincent released her and she dropped, staggering a second before popping up with a pleased grin. Cloud smiled weakly at her and then frowned at Cait Sith behind the pair.
"Um… did you somehow…?" he trailed off, half raising an extended pointer finger to the tuxedo cat.
Yuffie blinked curiously and poked her head around Vincent to see what Cloud was pointing at. "Cait Sith?" Cloud asked slowly, suddenly worried he was still dreaming.
"Oh that," Cid huffed and shook his head. "'Parently he made a back-up after gettin' squashed back in Wutai. He showed up right after…" Cid trailed off shooting Cloud an uncertain look.
The blond sighed and waved his hands to the woven mat and slices of logs the party obviously used for seats around their fire pit. "Yeah, I have some things to tell you all, we'd better sit down."
Yuffie skipped to an array of bags and returned with some jerky, hard bread, and water. Thrusting them in Cloud's hands she insisted, "Eat while you talk. My Uncle Hisoku always said that a tale told on an empty stomach is just as empty."
Bewildered, but feeling the slight cramping of hunger from his long sleep, Cloud took a bite of the spiced dry meat and a long drink of water.
"Cloud," Tifa murmured hesitantly. "What happened back there, in the temple?"
Swallowing the moistened bite of meat with some of the bread Cloud shook his head and admitted, "It is still kind of hazy in my mind, but I'll try to explain. When we reached the mural room a strange, throbbing pain filled my head."
"From Sephiroth?" Zack asked quietly, his right thumb circling one of the materia on his bracer.
Cloud hesitated and then replied, "I think so. It was worse when he looked at me and… When you asked about the Planet making a materia to destroy it Red, something said Black Materia wasn't from the Planet." He grimaced, face taking on a greenish tinge. In a sickened voice he admitted, "I think it was Jenova."
Cid whistled and shook his head, "Well that ain't good." Cloud nodded miserably, eyes staring blankly at the the food in his hands. "So that bit when you handed over the Black Materia…?"
He flinched and admitted, "It was like I was forced out of my body. I could only watch as I did what he wanted… like a puppet. I couldn't fight it, that's why…" He looked up and at each of them, one by one before stopping on Zack and continuing. "That's why I'm going to pass on the information Aerith told me, and then send you on without me."
Tifa cried out in denial, echoed by Yuffie. Barret and Cid swore, flinched and then shared guilty looks when Aerith's reprimand and soapy-mouth spell didn't come.
Ignoring their protests, Cloud continued, "Aerith is headed for the City of the Ancients."
"Why did she feel it necessary to go without us?" Red XIII asked. His claws flexed in the forest loam, belying his calm voice and reaction.
Cloud ran his fingers through his hair, wincing as they caught on a tangle and muttered, "It's obvious why she left me behind…" Ignoring the narrow look Zack shot him, in a louder voice he replied, "She's got some sort of a plan to stop Meteor. Apparently it is something only an Ancient can do."
Vincent tilted his head to the side and mused, "All the more reason she should have taken some of us with her. If she's the only hope for this planet then it is imperative that she enlist an escort."
Yuffie clenched her fists and nodded quickly, "If Sephiroth catches wind of what she's planning, she's in trouble for sure!"
Cloud shook his head, pinched some of the bread off the roll, and said, "He already knows." He looked up at Barret as he explained, "That was the nightmare I was having. Aerith told me where she was going and after she left Sephiroth invaded the dream. He can't be far behind her."
"Then what are we hangin' around here for?" Cid cried, jumping to his feet. "Red and Vincent can watch my back while I warm up the 'Bronco. The rest of ya' pack up camp and join us." The other two rose to their feet and followed the pilot's swift stride southward.
Cloud's stomach sank and his fists clenched around the food in his hands. He watched the crumbs fall down around his boots while the others sprang into action.
Despite himself, he'd enjoyed leading this group, helping them along in only ways he could but… Zack had Kunsel's number and Cloud's cousin could take his place. He'd miss the easy friendship with the others and his almost sibling relationship with Zack. Most of all he'd miss the deepening feelings he was forming with Tifa. The others finished collecting and stowing the last of their items away and Tifa helped Yuffie with one last sweep of the campsite.
He ached to leap to his feet as well and follow them back to Aerith's side.
But…
He shook his head and flung the remnants of his food into the fire-ring, it was better this way. They deserved a leader who didn't go crazy at the behest of an equally insane man. Someone they could depend on.
Cloud was broken, the Planet and Tifa deserved better.
Nodding with the decision made-though his heart ached for the choice-Cloud reached for his item pouch to turn it over to Zack.
His fingers barely touched the clasps securing the pouch to his belt before two strong hands reached under his shoulders and hauled him to his feet. Barret's firm grip on his right arm and Zack's grip on his left dragged him along behind Tifa, Yuffie, and Cait Sith.
"Ya know, I'm sensin' some deja vu here," Barret commented idly, hitching Cloud a little higher.
Zack mirrored his actions and Cloud squawked in protest, the tips of his toes barely skimming the ground. "Zack, Barret, stop!" Cloud protested. "My feet can barely touch the ground!"
"I'm thinking they have the right idea laddie," Cait Sith huffed shaking his head. "T'was looking like you'd run if you could."
"It's better that way!" Cloud insisted, squirming to try and free his arms.
From where he couldn't see them, Zack scowled, shared a look with Barret, and then asked, "So the problem is you don't like your toes dragging on the ground?"
"Yes!" Cloud shouted. The two men stopped, lowering Cloud to the ground to his relief.
"Well why din't ya' say so?" Barret snorted before he and Zack crouched to sling Cloud's arms over their shoulders and stood to their full height, lifting the blond clear off the ground.
"There, no more dragging," Zack huffed with a grin.
"That's not what I meant!" Cloud howled, struggling but not kicking out, knowing he could seriously hurt both of them if he did so. "Stupid tall people…" he muttered petulantly when it became apparent they intended to carry him that way the whole trip to the Tiny Bronco.
Their experience with monsters combined with high-level weapons and materia meant Yuffie, Tifa, and Cait Sith had no trouble fending off any attacks while the other three were occupied. In the free moments between monster encounters and when the men weren't looking, Tifa and Yuffie took the opportunity to photograph the spectacle. "Aerith's going to be upset she missed this," Tifa giggled studying one where Cloud looked like an angry kitten hanging in limp resignation. After the first mile he'd stopped yelling and slipped into a spectacular sulk.
The coast where the party parked the Tiny Bronco wasn't too far away from Gongaga and they arrived after an hour's walk. Cid sat in the cockpit, the engine humming. Barret shot Yuffie a look and asked the pilot, "You remembered to fill the gas tank, right?"
"That was one time!" Yuffie shouted, stomping her foot. Despite the gloom he wrapped around himself like a shroud, Cloud snorted at the reminder of Yuffie's mistake. Cid and Vincent nodded uncertainly, not understanding the back story behind the young woman's protest.
"Well, haul yourselves up here and tell me where I'm supposed ta' be takin' us," Cid huffed shaking his head.
"You need to go through the Sleeping Forest," Cloud replied, squirming once and wincing. He'd lost feeling in his hands from the hold Barret and Zack had him in and he didn't look forward to the inevitable pain the restoration of blood flow would cause. "Aerith said that was the way to the City of the Ancients."
"And where is the Sleeping Forest?" Vincent asked quietly.
The blond opened his mouth to say "I don't know" and froze. A faint tug, like an internal compass pointed the way. "North," he finally answered, shaking his head, slightly dazed.
Vincent nodded slowly, his gaze on Cloud full of speculation before humming, "Very well, climb aboard, we'd best be on our way."
Cloud groaned in pain when Zack and Barret finally lowered him to the ground. Stabbing tingles ran down his arms to his numb fingertips. Hissing and slowly flexing his hands he shook his head. "I can't go with you, I'll just compromise the mission. It's my fault Sephiroth has the Black Materia."
"You're damn right it's your fault," Barret snapped, cuffing him on the back of his head. "So you've gotta' come with us ta' help fix the mess you made. There ain't no jumpin' offa' this train we're on till we get to the end of the line."
Cloud winced at both the physical and verbal rebuke. "When you found me in the Shinra manor," Vincent said quietly, "I could sense your disdain at my decision to hide away from my guilt rather than take action."
Cloud grimaced, the tips of his ears growing hot but Vincent wasn't finished. "You feel guilty for the consequences of your actions. Actions we all suspect were not of your own free will."
Vincent paused, waiting and Cloud nodded slowly, confirming the statement.
"Who among us," the former Turk asked motioning to the party with his gloved hand, "doesn't bear their own burden of guilt?"
Uncomfortable, they all avoided the gazes of the other party members, sunk in flashes of their own failings. After a heavy silence, Vincent continued, "I will not ask you to give up your guilt, but I will ask you this: how much heavier would your guilt be if you stayed behind and one of us was killed?" Cloud flinched but the gunman continued mercilessly, "Or worse, we fail entirely and the whole Planet pays the price?"
Cloud's eyes burned with the threat of tears, but he lifted his head to meet Vincent's crimson stare. "What if he controls me again? What if he uses me to make things worse?" the blond asked, eyes pleading.
"One of us'll knock some sense inta' ya'," Barret huffed slapping the blond on the back, making him stagger slightly.
"Now that we've been informed of the situation, we're more able to recognize the symptoms," Red XIII continued, his tail flicking slightly where it curled around his paws.
Cloud looked down again in a thoughtful silence. Vincent was right, and Cloud didn't want to leave. But if he felt like he was being controlled, as if his actions would endanger things, he could easily leave. He just needed to make sure not to announce it next time. Heart lighter after this decision, Cloud nodded and murmured, "Alright, I'll go with you."
Yuffie whooped and to Cloud's amazement, hopped aboard the Tiny Bronco. One by one the others climbed on the plane's wings and settled for the journey, all save Cloud. "Come on man," Cid growled, "don' tell me ya' still got cold feet?"
"No, it's not that," Cloud replied, shaking his head.
Zack frowned, head tilted to the side and asked, "Then why haven't you climbed up?"
"Because certain people slung me between them like a roast pig, and I can't feel my arms," Cloud growled, glaring up at Zack and Barret.
Though Cloud consented to join them on the journey and reluctantly agreed to continue as leader, he withdrew into himself. Sunk inside his guilt and self-recriminations, he directed them with quiet, terse directions but didn't join in on the joking and banter as he had before. Without Cloud's mediation, small spats broke out on the confined space of the plane. Zack grew bored and started doing squats, which rocked the plane worsening Yuffie's nausea. Tifa would scold Zack and he'd settle into a pout. Without Aerith or Cloud to pull him out of the funk, he'd grow bored and start things all over again. Unaffected and lost in his own thoughts, Cloud merely gazed out to sea, eyes pointed towards their destination.
After the third round of this within a two hour period, Barret cursed and grabbed Cloud by his belt, slinging the unsuspecting man into the ocean. "Cloud!" Tifa cried, bolting to her feet. "Cid stop! Barret just threw Cloud off the plane!"
Cid slowed the engine, the plane drifting to a stop and gaped up at Barret. "The' hell you do that for?" he asked, turning the plane around so they could fish the blond out of the water.
Zack and Vincent carefully leaned over the wing to pull the sopping young man back aboard. Hacking and shaking slightly from the damp chill, Cloud glared at the larger man and repeated Cid's question.
Barret huffed and told Cid, "Keep goin' this ain't over and we don't need ta' waste more time while I pull his head outta his..." Barret trailed off, avoiding the profanity out of habit.
Shaking his head Cid complied, muttering under his breath, "Shouldn' expect normal here… Already pegged ya' all as numbskulls... Guess I'm one too for thinkin' ya'd all act normal when the world's on the line."
"Well?" Cloud asked when Barret huffed and settled so his back leaned against the cockpit.
Instead of directly answering, Barret folded his arms and said, "Way back when we left Midgar, I voted you in as leader. Though your buddy had higher rank and experience leadin' I didn't pick him. D'you know why?"
Cloud paused in wringing out one of his socks. He narrowed his eyes at Barret and slowly shook his head. Tifa and Zack perked up, curious to know his reasoning since before voting he'd pushed to be leader.
The large man shook his head and sighed, "I picked ya' because you know how ta' lead. You've got the instincts ta' know when ta' attack and when ta' retreat, your sense of direction is outta this world, and you've got tactical skills I ain't even dreamed of having."
"Like when you told us to attack the Guard Scorpion when its tail was up?" Tifa asked sardonically, rubbing her arm in memory of the burns its laser attack left behind.
Barret rolled his eyes. "A man leaves out one little word and he never lives it down," he griped.
"In this case, 'don't' was a rather important word in the sentence," Tifa huffed with a slight laugh.
Grumbling but faintly smiling, he shook his head ruefully before continuing. "Yeah, even avoiding mistakes like that. I mean, Red told me what happened to him after we split up outside'a Midgar-"
"He told you?" Zack yelped at the same time that Tifa cried, "He told you?" They shot each other surprised looks and then pouted.
"Anyway!" Barret said loudly to forestall any pending arguments. "You're a good leader, but this poutin' and shuttin' us out ain't gonna fly. I ain't sayin' ya' gotta be sunshine and rainbows, but at least talk to the big galoot next ta' ya so he stops gettin' bored. If Yuffie keeps pukin' like that I'm afraid her gut's gonna just give up and abandon ship."
Cloud's eyes widened and he flicked his gaze to Yuffie. She curled up against Red XIII's side, Cait Sith clutched in her arms. A faint sheen of sweat coated her face and she looked worn thin, the skin around her mouth pinched and pale. Her glassy gaze didn't seem to focus on anything around them. Sighing once, Cloud nodded.
As Barret said, he wasn't sunshine and rainbows, but he did take the time to rein Zack in when his anxiety to catch up to Aerith expressed itself in ways that rocked the plane.
After a few peaceful hours and when his clothes were almost dry he looked from Zack, to Barret, to Vincent and asked, "I've been wondering for some time now… How did you know exactly what to say to get me to stay?"
Zack shrugged and with a sheepish grin admitted, "Kunsel called when you were still unconscious and gave me an outline of how you would likely react and what each of us should do to keep you from leaving."
"Of course he did," Cloud sighed, rubbing a hand down his face and shaking his head.
Author's notes: I know this chapter is shorter than the norm, but it is a transition chapter and the next chapter... it's pretty long, I might have to split it in half but I haven't the faintest idea where I *could* split it up. Thank you all for your reviews and support!