Chapter Twelve: Mischief and Mayhem

I was more than confident in my ability to irritate the Carrows – that wouldn't be a difficult task in the slightest. In fact, it wasn't a stretch to imagine that they spent their evenings fantasizing about inflicting pain on rebellious students, and would seek out any excuse, no matter how small, to play out those fantasies. But causing a level of disruption so advanced that even the Carrows would want to pass me straight to the headmaster to be dealt with… well, that was another matter entirely.

By the time I had helped Ginny finalize her plans, learned the Protean Charm, and fully memorized the list of secret codes to her satisfaction, the rectangular patch of sky that was visible from the dorm window seemed to have lightened by a few degrees. Ginny took the opportunity to get in what little sleep she could. I, on the other hand, laid in bed staring at the crimson overhead hangings while the dawn continued to brighten, racking my brains with all of the possible ways to get myself in trouble. It wouldn't be enough to simply be cocky in class or start an argument with the Carrows. I would have to do something to truly outrage them.

It only took me until breakfast the following morning to formulate a plan of my own, and I had to admit to myself that I was kind of looking forward to giving the Carrows a hard time. Of course, the fact that I would get to be near Snape did not escape me, but I tried not to get too excited over it. After all, I was doing this because I had to warn him about the sword of Gryffindor, and not merely so that I could see him. He would certainly be less-than-pleased with the chaos I was about to cause. I only hoped that what I had in mind would be significant enough to earn me a ticket to the headmaster's office.

My opportunity wouldn't come until Muggle Studies, and I spent the morning in a haze of tiredness, trying hard not to look as sleep-deprived as I felt. Despite it having been his idea to steal the sword in the first place, Neville was beginning to look a bit apprehensive as the day progressed, and on several occasions I caught him biting at the tip of his wand with an expression that said his mind was somewhere else entirely.

"You're going to jinx a molar off if you don't cut it out," I was saying to him during double Charms, as Professor Flitwick, who stood on a bulging mountain of books at the head of the classroom, explained the uses for the tracking charm in his high, warbling voice. "You don't have to do this, you know. If you're too nervous."

Neville jerked slightly and halted, mid-bite, then dropped his wand to the table in front of him. "Nervous… about – oh, no that's not it at all. I've been looking forward to that all day. Can't wait to finally do something useful," he said.

I felt the involuntary grin fall off my face. If Neville had been nervous enough to back out, I wouldn't have had to go through with my own plans. "Then what's the problem? You've been jittery all day."

"This could come in handy later, don't you think?" he said, nodding towards the white-haired professor who was now shooting a cloud of what appeared to be shining golden dust from his wand. "Anyway… I reckon you haven't seen the Quibbler yet? Luna slipped me today's issue after breakfast this morning. Not a clue how she got it into the castle… here, just read the headline." He reached into his schoolbag and pulled out a magazine with a cover decorated in a riot of neon. In the middle of the front page was a photo of what could only be described as earmuffs in an eye-watering shade of yellow, encircled by the phrase "EAVESCOUT-ELIMINATOR EARMUFFS." Underneath was the tagline "Protect your secrets from You-Know-Who's newest weapon – turn to page 23 for the exclusive on Eavescouts, why they're a danger to you and your loved ones, and how to get your hands on a pair of Eavescout-Eliminator Earmuffs in five minutes or less!"

"Er… don't think I need yellow earmuffs, thanks though," I said, shoving the bizarre periodical back in his direction.

"Not that headline… this one." Neville jabbed a finger at another headline: "BREAK-IN AT THE MINISTRY: THE CHOSEN ONE AND FRIENDS LIGHTING FIRES UNDER THE NEW REGIME."

"The Ministry? Why would they break in to the Ministry? The place has to be crawling with Death Eaters…" I said, baffled.

"That's what I thought, too. But Xenophilius Lovegood, (surely you've heard of him? Luna's dad, he runs the Quibbler), says in the article that sources are reporting Harry stole something while he was there, but they don't know what. It must be something they need to defeat You-Know-Who."

"Attention up here please," shot Flitwick, glaring in our direction. I gave him an innocent smile, which seemed to appease him because he went back to his demonstration on the way the golden dust from the spell accumulated in places where magical activity had occurred.

I handed the blazing magazine back to Neville, then said in a lowered voice, "I mean, that's interesting and all… but that still doesn't tell me why you look ready to ingest your wand."

Neville stared forward, maintaining his attention on Flitwick. "I feel like I'm crawling out of my skin, Rowan," he whispered. "I can't just sit here and take it. The Carrows… Snape… the patrols and guards everywhere… I've gotta fight back. I'm not scared, I'm restless."

Flitwick cleared his throat with another frown in our direction. "You can all go ahead and give it a try now. Pair up and test out tracking one another," he said. "Remember the incantation – Appare Vestigium. I'll be making rounds shortly to check your progress."

The charm had proven to be slightly more complex than I had expected. It took Neville several attempts before he managed to produce even a small amount of the golden dust, but by the end of class, both of us were performing it with near perfection. As soon as the dismissal bell rang, Neville and I headed together to lunch.

"Got your Fungi-Figs ready, Neville?" Luna asked, catching up to us as we neared the Great Hall. The Fungi-Figs were a creation of Ginny's brothers, Fred and George, as part of their Skiving Snackbox treat assortment. Ginny had packed several Skiving Snackboxes in her trunk. To the Death Eaters, they'd appeared to be a simple box of sweets, but really, they were magical snacks that induced fake illnesses intended to get you out of class. The Figs, for example, would mimic the symptoms of a highly contagious Scrofungulus infection.

"Fred and George swear it'll wear off after thirty-seven minutes, so once the infection clears we'll still have plenty of time to make our preparations and steal the sword during dinner," Ginny had said when outlining the plan last night. Neville, Ginny, and Luna would each eat a fig near the end of lunch, so they would have an excuse to be absent from their afternoon classes and dinner. I, however, was tasked with dinner lookout, to warn them via the coins if Snape left the Great Hall at all while they were stealing the sword.

Neville nodded, and I could tell from his expression that a bout of Scrofungulus, faked or otherwise, was not an experience that he found inviting.

"I've never had Scrofungulus before," Luna said, looking up at the ceiling as she walked with a sway. Her very long blonde hair fell back over her shoulders, and I could see that she had tucked her wand behind her ear. "I expect it will be rather fascinating."

"Fascinating!?" said Neville, turning green. "We're going to be covered in fungus!"

"Fungi are greatly underappreciated, Neville. Don't you know, some fungi have even been known to deter attacks from mountain trolls. See you in the Hospital Wing!" she said, her cheery tone rather inappropriate for the circumstances, then separated off and sashayed towards the Ravenclaw table.

Neville's normal skin tone had not returned throughout the lunch hour, and when it came time to ingest the figs, his coloration was a near identical match to that of his toad, Trevor. I could hardly blame him - the wrinkly little mass looked black and dead and… almost moldy, as though the fruit itself was already infected with the disease it would mimic in my friends. He held its stem between two fingers, arm outstretched to keep the offensive fruit at a maximum distance.

"Cheers," said Ginny, then popped it into her mouth. Neville wrinkled his nose, took a deep breath, then bit into his fig. Within seconds, they were each scratching and clawing at an outbreak resembling something that would have looked at home in a book about severe wart remedies. The Death Eaters standing guard at the doors of the Great Hall took one look at them, backed away, pulled down their creepy masks, and pointed them in the direction of the Hospital Wing.

Bounding off in the opposite direction, I made my way hurriedly to the Muggle Studies classroom. I'd managed to be several minutes early, arriving well before anyone else. I left the door open intentionally and hustled across the room to conceal myself behind the horrific black "MAGIC IS MIGHT" statue, listening closely for any sounds of movement. For the most effective impact, I wanted to time it just right.

"Oooo, somebody's up to nooooo goooood," sang a sudden voice from behind me. I jumped, catching myself on the statue as I nearly toppled over. The sound of bells jingling rang out from the jester hat atop the head of Peeves the poltergeist, who was now floating in rapid circles around the statue. "Wittle Weasley girl in the Hospital Wing… Weasley's wittle fwend, sneaking around like a sssssnake… Peevesy thinks something is ssssstirring."

I regained my composure and shushed him at once. "Quiet, Peeves! You'll ruin everything!"

Peeves did a little flip in midair, planting his purple-shoed feet onto the ceiling while he danced an upside down jig. His translucent robe, which was decorated in various shapes in primary colors, flapped at his waist. "Peevesy was right! The naughty Gryffindors and the Loony girl are up to something sinister!"

"Peeves," I said seriously, one hand closed in a fist at my hip, "can't you be serious for any amount of time? At all? Do you even realize what is going on around here? I know you like causing trouble but… surely even you can't be okay with the school under Death Eater control!?"

The sound of the bell-tipped hat ceased suddenly as the poltergeist's feet stilled, his wide mouth drooping, and for once his face was humorless. For a very strange moment I locked eyes with him, and a silent understanding passed between us.

"The naughty Gryffindors and the Looney girl are planning to give old Voldy's fogies some trouble?" Peeves turned himself back upright, though continued to hover up near the ceiling. I nodded. "Well then, count Peevsey in!"

It was then that Alecto Carrow's faint footsteps carried into the classroom from around the corner.

"She's coming! If you want to help, then get out of here and let me get caught by Carrow!" I said in a low voice. Without another word, Peeves vanished into the ceiling.

I readied my wand…

"Reducto!" I shouted in my head.

A brilliant blue light flared and connected with the statue, right at the tip of the hat atop the wizard's head. With an ear shattering crack like a massive window shattering, the entire display was pulverized into trillions of fragments finer than dust. For a split moment the particles seemed to be hanging in midair, briefly holding the shape of the Muggles being crushed under the weight of the wizards as though reluctant to break apart. Light from a window found its way between the granules, giving the whole display the look of a dense, black fog.

Then, like a sudden sandstorm the powdered marble blasted outward in all directions with such force that I was knocked backwards into the wall. I squeezed my eyes and mouth shut, shielding my face with my arm as the dust whooshed through the room, but the crunchy grit between my teeth and a strong urge to sneeze told me I hadn't reacted quite quickly enough.

"What in the name of Merlin is going on here!?" shouted an irate voice from across the room. The voice, however, did not belong to Alecto Carrow.

I uttered a curse under my breath and peeked out through the still-settling dust, forcing myself to look despite the sting in my eyes, and found a bad-tempered Professor McGonagall standing in the doorframe. Another curse slid out of my mouth involuntarily, this one a bit louder, as I watched her try to comprehend the scene she had walked in on.

"Miss Pierce? Did you – what on earth did you do?" she hissed incredulously, patting a puff of dirt off her emerald robes. A thick coating of black dust now blanketed every inch of the classroom. It looked rather like a coat of soot.

"I… I blew up the statue," I said with feigned nonchalance.

She blinked at me, brow knitted. "The statue… the 'Magic is Might' statue?"

"Yes."

Her lips thinned, but I swore I saw a glint of satisfaction in her eyes. "I understand it was certainly an eyesore but… this won't earn you a mere detention! This was a very dangerous thing to do, Miss Pierce!"

"That was kind of the idea…" I muttered, but she steamrollered on.

"We must fix this right away. How ever did you manage this, Miss Pierce? This statue - " she broke off. Something from the hallway had caught her attention, because she lowered her tone to an urgent whisper and drew her wand. "Quick, come here. And put away your wand. Come!"

I hesitated, momentarily rooted in place as McGonagall waved a frantic hand in my direction. Before I could put my thoughts into order, Alecto Carrow rounded the corner. There was something immensely satisfying about the angry color that flooded her face the instant she registered the scene. I must have been smirking, because Professor McGonagall shot me a look that could cut glass.

"YOU!" she shouted, pointing her wand in my direction as she shoved past McGonagall. "You vile, traitorous little pest!"

"No," interjected McGonagall in a firm, hard tone. "Miss Pierce didn't do this – it was me. That statue was an insult to the name of Hogwarts school. Do not punish her for my actions."

"What!? Professor, what are you doing!?" I was touched that she wanted to protect me, but I couldn't let her take the blame. Not only because I needed to be sent to Snape's office, but because I would hate myself if McGonagall was punished instead of me. I turned to Carrow. "I did this! On purpose, I destroyed your despicable statue. Professor McGonagall only just walked in a moment ago. I blew it to bits and I'm not sorry about it!"

Alecto's face contorted with genuine confusion as she looked between me and Professor McGonagall, jaw muscles working as if she were chewing. Her tiny brain seemed to be struggling very much with the effort it took to try and sort through the situation. Of course, it was completely unsurprising to me that she would be incapable of comprehending the human capacity and desire to protect another person.

"Don't be ridiculous, Miss Pierce. This statue was magically crafted… enchanted to be immune to destructive spells," said McGonagall, matter-of-factly. "Professor Carrow is well aware that only an exceptionally powerful witch or wizard could have destroyed it. It is quite clear that this was my doing, not a student's."

I paused.

Magically enchanted? But it had been destroyed with a simple Reductor Curse… though I supposed that explained why the particles struggled to blow apart.

Hoisting a look of smug confidence onto my face, I said "I'm hardly a typical student. It was so easy to blow the damned thing up, I honestly didn't even realize it had been magically protected. Struggling to keep up, Professor Carrow? You look a bit confused."

Her expression changed from perplexed to venomous like quickly moving clouds. "Of course I am not confused," she said hotly.

"Oh, I'm sorry." I gave an innocent shrug. "I suppose your face is just like that."

Alecto made a noise that was slightly inhuman, her dark eyes flashing dangerously. She opened her mouth to speak, but was cut off by a high laughter.

"IT WAS HER! IT WAS HER! I SAW IT! IT WAS THE GIRL!" sang Peeves, who had re-emerged from the ceiling and was pointing a long finger in my direction.

Alecto's temper soared. "THAT'S ENOUGH!" she scathed a little hysterically. "YOU…" she indicated at me, "you wretched child… to the headmaster's office, now. He can sort this out, let him deal with you!"

I chewed on the inside of my cheek to hold back a smile, and gave Peeves a look that I hoped was one of gratitude. "As you wish," I said, marching towards the classroom doors. McGonagall, meanwhile, was bristling at Carrow. "It's alright, Professor. Really. I promise."

The forlorn look on McGongall's face stirred up a pang of guilt in my chest, but I knew it was for the greater good. As I exited the classroom and left McGonagall standing in the doorway, the classroom filling up around her, I could hear Peeves in the distance, cackling and jingling away.