Chapter 183: Even in Death

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Skip Beat, for if I did, Cedric would feel that missing parental love.

They say that when you die your life flashes before your eyes—a twenty-second life (time guesstimate since I've never died before) review of significant people and meaningful events fast-forwarding on a supernatural reel. I expected to see myself being born into this world, my parents beaming with pride when I took my first steps at nine months or my triumphant snag of the lead role in my preschool's play to start us off. Sadly, I could only count noteworthy situations like that on one hand. With that in mind, I may only qualify for a measly five-second clip of my 'many life accomplishments' leading up to the moment where I died dramatically like an antagonist in a Hollywood blockbuster. However, in this flick, the director spends the first half convincing the audience that the guy is trash and undeserving.

The second half leaves viewers questioning their perception of him throughout the film. 'Hold up, did we miss something?' They exclaim wanting to reverse time and rewatch the scene, but they can't because it's in theaters and you can't exactly ask grumpy employees to rewind. They have a schedule to keep. 'Nooooo!' The audience wails. 'Just let us hate him!' He's been feeding them hints of his broken past, slowly seeping into their bones, working the viewers to sympathize with him until he's got them in his clutches. Plot twist. Suddenly they're chomping at the bit for that sappy ending where even the lowest scum on the planet deserves a second chance. Just when they thought he would get that happily ever after, he's killed off. The only road to redemption is death, apparently. It's a genius move on the director's part and would have critics and moviegoers raving about it months, years after the credits have rolled. It's utter bullshit! I hate those movies!

I am the antagonist in the movie that is my life; there's no denying it, but I at least thought I would get those twenty seconds when I died...twice. I waited. All that greeted me was nothingness. I mean, what did I expect? I had the best life and threw it all away because of petty jealousy and boredom. If I could scoff at my predicament I would. I lost track of how long I was floating in this void of infinite darkness until there was something. Somewhere in the far reaches of my psyche, I heard it, barely. Unguarded laughter that reminded me of hers mingled with childlike giggles.

In the distance, there was a spark. A tiny pinprick of light. This is it. The light at the end of the tunnel that people always mention. In my case, I didn't know if it meant that there was still hope or if I was literally taking that final walk into the light. If it was the latter, at least the bright hue was promising compared to the fiery orange I tended to associate with the hell where I belong. Maybe Saint Peter had mercy on my soul.

I heard it again. Laughter that was warm and inviting. Impatiently, I wanted to find the source, willing my body...err...ugh...spirit to pick up the agonizingly slow pace in which it traveled in this realm. Even in death, I have the shittiest fucking luck. After what felt like an eternity, the light grew brighter as I inched closer to the end. Once I broke free of the darkness, I saw what was awaiting me. I wanted it. I craved it with my whole being. It was so close I could touch it but alas, some higher power decided it was never meant for me. I was jolted back to my reality.

Cedric was aware. His body felt like it was weighed down by a ton of bricks underwater, heavy and numb. There was a cacophony of muffled voices from unknown men and women mixed with the rhythmic sound of whooshing and routine beeps. Try as he might, he couldn't get his eyes or mouth to comply. Before panic could set in, he employed a series of calming techniques he picked up from a therapist. He focused on the one sense that wasn't completely failing— his hearing.

The feeling of being submerged in water slowly dissipated. He listened to get a sense of what was happening around him but his mind had him settling on the soothing sounds of an orchestra playing softly in the background. It threw him off.

Where the hell am I?

Something major had obviously happened by the sound of relief he heard in their voices.

What's wrong with me? Why can't I feel anything?

"Thank God," a woman exalted in a shaky voice.

"Lydia, I know you're a fan, but you need to keep it together. Switch out with Glenn and take a few minutes," a man suggested. His voice was gentle, but Cedric could hear the authority it held. "You've already done your twelve on top of this. We can't afford to have you burning out."

"Maybe a minute," Lydia replied reluctantly. Cedric could make out the sound of two pairs of feet shuffling around then one walking off followed by the swoosh of an automatic door.

"Hopefully, he doesn't flatline again. I don't think we'll get lucky a third time," a new guy commented.

Flatline? The events of earlier came rushing to the forefront: confessing his horrible truth to the world, Tina clocking him in the face, Charles' betrayal, Martin's revenge, Ren and Kyoko's help, and a lion with a gun.

That fucker shot me!

Oh God, who else did he shoot? His panic began to rise as he thought about what happened afterward. He struggled with all his might to wrench his eyes open, demanding answers and needing to know what happened to his Japanese friends. The dim light that had been constant on the back of his eyelids since he gained awareness faded to black. Exhausted by the mental exertion, Cedric's mind shut down, retreating to the darkness to rest. This time there was no dreamlike trance beckoning him to walk into the light.

When he came to, his physical condition was still the same. He couldn't move, couldn't feel anything, and couldn't open his eyes. He had no clue how much time had passed but concluded this go around from the medical jargon being tossed around in the room that he was in the hospital.

"I'm closing him up," the man from earlier announced. "Is everything accounted for?"

He didn't hear the reply as his tired mind settled in the darkness again.

Cedric was awakened by the sounds of weeping at his side. To his dismay, he still couldn't move.

"Please God, don't take my baby from me," she pleaded between sniffles.

Mom? His condition had to be serious if she was resorting to begging God. She had never been the religious type.

As he listened to his mother sobbing, Cedric felt like a knife was twisting in his gut (metaphorically since he couldn't feel anything at all). It wasn't one of her usual manipulative cries she often used on him to get her way in the past. She was genuinely crying for him this time.

"The doctor said it would be good to talk to you. He said it usually helps with cases like yours, so please sweet boy, don't give up. You have so much to live for. I know what I want for you and I haven't been very subtle about it, but I promise to be more respectful of your wishes from now on. Wake up baby, come back to us."

He heard the sound of something scraping on the floor. "I'm going to let your Grandpa and Dad have their turns here with you for a few minutes then nothing is moving me from your bedside until you wake up and can go home."

Cedric mentally rolled his eyes at his mother's threat and chuckled. It was typical of her. He wanted to reassure her that he was okay, but he found his mind fading again. Did getting knocked around seriously damage him?

The next time he regained "consciousness," he was greeted by the sound of the swooshing machine and the constant beeping of his heart monitor. He wondered if his mother had for once delivered an empty threat and left him alone, thinking he would never know the difference in his state.

"It strange seeing you like this…" His father's voice, thick with emotion, penetrated the darkness out of nowhere. Had he been there this whole time? He had never heard his father sound so vulnerable in all his life. Cedric heard him take a deep breath.

"Did you know that when you were born, you came out wailing bloody murder?" Callister chuckled. "The doctor assured us that it was a sign of your strength and your good health, but your mother was so distraught over it. She swore there was something wrong!"

Cedric had heard the story surrounding his birth from his mother several times. His father's point of view was a first and he strained to hear every word. He had to be delivered by emergency c-section because he was in an abnormal position and the doctor couldn't get him to move. According to his mother, Cedric was determined to enter the world running.

"I was a mess. I was torn between consoling my frantic wife on the table and my newborn baby. Thank goodness the nurses worked so fast I didn't have to choose. The moment the nurse placed you in my arms you stopped crying and all was right in the world. You were so tiny and so precious as you burrowed yourself in my arms. I sat next to your mother's head and held you to her face so she could greet you while they continued to work on her…you made my first job as a dad so easy, son."

Callister was quiet for several moments, but Cedric knew he was still there by the sound of his father's sniffing. He couldn't tell if his father was crying for his sake or if he was suffering from allergies.

"Short of calling every skilled doctor on the planet to help you— which I plan on doing once your mother kicks me out of this room— I don't know how to fix this. I've failed you, my son," Callister said, his voice cracking on his last words.

Even in the darkness, Cedric could mentally feel his emotions getting riled up. This was the most heart-to-heart talk he ever had with his father and all he could do was lay here in a catatonic state. He wanted to wake up already and talk to him. The once steady machines began blaring frantically matching his inner turmoil. Maybe this was God's way of allowing him to communicate with his family.

On that thought, Cedric drifted off just as he heard his father yelling for a doctor.

Kyoko washed up quickly and headed out of the bathroom to join her boyfriend in bed. It had been a long and exhausting day for both of them and Kyoko wanted nothing more than to snuggle in Kuon's arms, maybe even snooze a little, until it was time to leave for work. They had roughly two hours before they needed to get ready and head out for their final day off shooting the MV. She inhaled sharply as she caught sight of her man laying on the bed with his eyes closed and the covers pulled up to his waist exposing his bare chest. The Gods had truly taken their sweet time creating this beautiful specimen of a man. The way his arms were folded behind his head accentuated the flexed muscles making Kyoko want to run her hands over them, and update her measurements. Her eyes trailed down his broad chest, admiring the dips and valleys of his ripped abdomen then lingered over the defined "v" at his hips.

"My eyes are up here, missy," Kuon smirked. Kyoko's gaze snapped to the contactless eyes of her boyfriend and found herself falling deep into the dark green pools. She turned a bright shade of red after being caught staring at him like a pervert.

He moved his arms, beckoning her to come to bed. Her eyes landed on his bandaged hands, making her freeze for a second. Forgetting her lust for the man, her eyes burned from unshed tears and her heart ached from what she almost lost. Gingerly, she crawled on the bed beside him. The t-shirt he brought for her to wear as pajamas rolled up as she settled into his side. She laid the side of her head against his chest, comforted by the sound of his steady heartbeat. Absent-mindedly, she slid her palm past his pecs and rested it on his neck, soothed by the strong pulse thudding beneath her fingers.

Kuon tilted her head up from the chin so she could stare at him, then captured her fingers resting on his jugular with his hand and kissed each tip softly.

Knowing what she was thinking, he said, "I'm okay, baby. I won't let anything bad happen to you."

Kyoko choked back a sob and nodded, but try as she might, she couldn't stop the tears from spilling out of her eyes. The strength she possessed hours before disappeared as she lost control of her emotions. The flood gates were broken as sobs racked through her tired body. Kuon pulled her as close she could physically get to him. The arm underneath her rubbed her back while his other hand hooked her knee over his waist and cupped behind her thigh. The gesture would have turned her on if she wasn't so emotionally exhausted and filled with guilt.

"I'm so sorry, Corn. Hic! If I just listened to you things woul- hic -dn't have gotten so hic chaotic! Bennett-san hic he hic..."

"Shhhh…" he cooed, as her hiccups and tears slowed. "Don't go there, baby. None of this was your fault. Bennett getting hurt was nobody else's fault but the men that attacked him. Do you understand?"

Kyoko sniffed loudly and nodded against his chest.

"I'm so sorry I put you in danger," he whispered hoarsely, his voice thick with emotion. "I should have gone for help instead of going out there."

Kyoko shook her head fiercely against his chest. All they were doing was trying to shift blame take responsibility for what happened to Cedric. She had to let him know that this wasn't his fault either.

"No, Corn, please don't blame yourself," she begged, lifting her head to look him in the eye. He avoided her, tilting his head away with guilt. She pulled herself up, straddling his chest, and grabbing his face with more force than she intended. The shock in his eyes made her loosen her grip. "I won't let you take this upon your shoulders too. You've already been through so much."

Maybe she was being a little extreme, but the need to ease his guilt outweighed any of her other emotions. The idea of almost losing her was probably just as strong as the feelings she had of losing him.

Kuon nodded and gave her a weak smile. "You're right. It's not going to be easy, but I'll try to take my advice and hold those criminals accountable for their actions."

"Thank you, Corn," she beamed and leaned down to brush her lips against his in a tender kiss. His hand slid up to her nape and pulled her closer, deepening their kiss until they pulled away breathless.

"As much as I love you like this, I'm exhausted," he confessed, "I don't want to embarrass myself any more than I already am."

Kyoko giggled at his admission and pecked his lips once more. He stroked her back one more time before groaning and gripping her hips to roll her over so they were on their side facing each other. Kuon put her under the covers and turned off the bedside lamp then pulled her into his chest, entwining their legs until one of hers was thrown possessively over his hip. She moved her free arm to caress the hair at the back of his neck, knowing it relaxed him.

Kyoko was exhausted, but she couldn't stop touching him. Her hand drifted from his nape to the corded muscles in his shoulders and began massaging the tension out of them.

Kuon groaned loudly and captured her roaming hand. "Go to sleep, baby."

She laid still for a few seconds and tried to get her racing mind to sleep. It was a feat easier said than done. Instead of thinking about the incident, her mind began to drift to Cedric's confession. Kyoko couldn't remember it verbatim, but she recalled the way it had affected her boyfriend. She couldn't sleep without asking him.

"Corn," she whispered. "Are you asleep?"

"Yes," he groaned, jokingly.

"Okay, sorry. Good night," she apologized.

"What is it, baby?" He asked pulling away from her a little.

"I was wondering how you felt about Bennett-san's apology. We never got a chance to talk about it."

Kuon sighed heavily.

"If you don't want to talk about it, I understand. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," she assured him. Her body shook as he chuckled against her then pecked the tip of her nose.

"It was hard hearing him speak about our past like that," Kuon began. "I never really told anyone about the things I endured growing up. He mentioned a few things I didn't even remember happening. I was angry for my younger self and ashamed that I wasn't strong enough to rely on anyone. I thought I was doing the right thing by keeping quiet, but in the end, my silence ended up hurting everyone I loved. At the expense of sounding crazy, maybe I should be thanking Bennett-san."

"What?!" Kyoko gasped. Her hand darted to his forehead to check if he had a fever. His temperature was normal. "I don't understand," she admitted, confused. If anything, Cedric didn't deserve Kuon's forgiveness. If it was up to her grudges, they would have taken him down a long time ago.

"Hear me out before you have me committed to the nearest mental asylum," he laughed as she grumbled. "If I had never been bullied by Bennett-san, I would have never come to Kyoto with my father when I was ten years old or met the cute little girl that made me her fairy prince. If Rick had not gotten caught up in our mess, I would have never met you again, the love of my life."

"It was too steep a price to pay," Kyoko choked out a whisper. It was awful that he had to experience something so terrible just for them to find their way back to each other. She wanted to curse fate for the injustice.

"Yes, it was," he replied, pulling her in close again and stroking the back of her hair. "Which is why I'm not going to waste another moment on my past. I'm going to focus on moving forward with you, with our families. I think Rick would be proud."

"I think so too. I'm proud of you, my love." She kissed him on the lips and clung to him.

Kuon didn't say anything but continued to stroke her hair. Kyoko yawned against his chest finally exhausted.

"Sleep, baby," he whispered and pressed his lips to her forehead.

"Corn, promise me you'll give him a piece of your mind before you thank him."

"I promise," he replied with a chuckle as Kyoko drifted to sleep.

AN: Hiya! Thanks for sticking with me! I thought this was a good stopping point but didn't realize it was so short. I hope you still enjoyed it.

Thanks for always reading and for the reviews of the last chapter. I appreciate it.

Until next time, ja ne! ^_^