After saving Ryoga from certain death, or least anaphylaxis, Kagome thought he'd be grateful. It was true that he was new here and didn't fully understand the situation (if he even paid attention to the situation), but a simple "thank you" would have sufficed. Instead she got this.
"How...could you?" he yelled. "You threw Akane-san's food away? Worse, you threw it at people?"
Kagome's eyes twitched.
"I told you," she said through gritted teeth. "That stuff wasn't edible in any way. No human being could have consumed it."
"I checked the stuff," said Sango, ever helpful. "I'm an expert in potions and poisons. There were no food particles in it. Your friend Akane-san cooked a...what's it called, Kagome-chan?"
"The rice cooker. She cooked the rice cooker. Not the rice. I didn't throw rice balls at anyone. I threw the remains of a rice cooker at the Saimyosho. That were trying to kill you."
"It looked like poison," Miroku added, also trying to be helpful.
Two plus two was four. Two times two was four. Four minus two was two. There were so many ways to state simple facts such that a simpleton like Ryoga-san could understand.
"How dare you insult Akane-san's cooking?" Ryoga bellowed.
The answer was easily. Akane-san was a nice girl but it looked like she was running a meth lab back there.
"Buddy, your girlfriend's cooking sucks. I watched her do it. We had to open the windows to air out the toxic fumes." Ah, trust Inuyasha to be as blunt as a hammer and half as subtle.
"It is not! And I'll prove it!" Then Ryoga did something she never thought any sentient human would do, and ate the shards of the "rice balls," or rather the rice cooker.
Yes. He really did that. Just scooped the stuff off the ground and shoveled it into his mouth.
Everyone's jaws dropped.
Ryoga turned a greenish-grey that was typically found in the sky before tornadoes.
"You fools," Naraku said, not a little unhappy as he was left to melt into the scenery while Kikyo's "paramour" stole the show. "I'm right here. Ignore my presence at your peril."
Ryoga, now a dark and murky purple, slowly turned his head towards his newfound rival.
The blinding flash of light routed Naraku, shattered trees into splinters, and made villagers seventy miles away gape in awe. It would be written about in the chronicles of the day and proved to be a headache to historians in the twentieth century as they tried to decipher whether it was a volcanic eruption or meteor shower or supernova sighting or something else.
And that wasn't even the most shocking thing of all. No.
Kagome couldn't believe what she was hearing.
"...Delicious."
"...What?" she asked. Surely, he did not mean...no. That was too stupid.
"Told you..." he croaked, shrouded in smoke, deep within the crater that he had created. "Akane-san never goes wrong. I loved eating that."
"It was a rice cooker!" Kagome yelled, feeling a nauseating combo of disgust, deep worry, and grudging respect for Ryoga.
There was dedication, and there was dedication.
"I knew he was suffering from mental breakdowns," Miroku said.
A/N: I dunno what to think of you and the way you claim to love Akane's cooking, Ryoga...
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