Hey everyone glad to be seeing more feedback especially since there were things I was unaware of.

PR5: THANKS! I actually didn't know that and if there are any British readers please send me some info in my PM so I can make this a better fanfic over all.

Jesse Quirk: **shrugs before evil grin** I don't know...wait and see.

When Amelia left this morning she had already known that Ted would come to watch the kids considering both James' mental condition, and Sirius going to speak to his friend Remus. She hated the fact she had to give an ultimatum to Sirius, but it wasn't out of hate that she did it but love and worry for Harry. She was thankful that Sirius had seen her point, and although taking offense for a moment, he saw her point of view.

"Bones!" She heard and turned to see Alastair Moody coming over toward her limping as he did. As she watched the man she was both thankful he was still around and yet also saddened that so much had clearly been taken from him in his long career. "Good thing I caught you… Malfoy got cleared by Imperious this morning."

"Damn it." She groaned as she pulled her hair back. "Keep the file close. Hopefully soon we can get a warrant to search all known and suspected Death Eaters for any clues."

"Hm." Moody grunted at that. "It's as likely as me becoming Minister of Magic."

"Let a girl hope Moody." She laughed softly as they walked. She sat down at her desk with Moody who helped her move some file boxes in her cluttered office to sit. "We're going to get a lot of those claims in the coming months. And unfortunately by pure blood law I can't order them to testify under veritaserum without clear evidence."

Moody nodded as he added a new cabinet labeled "Known and Believed Death Eaters" and added the file into it. He looked over with his eye and saw her biting her quill.

"You're going to break that thing."

Amelia sighed as she dropped the quill. "I hate when you do that."

"Well…when you have enough magical scars like me sometimes the replacements are worth it. Especially in our line of work."

"Speaking of which I need a favor…"

"A favor?" He turned and leaned on his staff. "It's James isn't it?"

She chuckled. "You always could read me like a book old friend. Yes. He's-"

"Lost. He lost his wife, a good friend betrayed him, and now his face is a constant reminder that his glory days are behind him." She looked at the man who was her closest friend in this field and nodded.

"Yeah….yeah he is."

"You want me to talk to him." It wasn't a question, it was a statement. Her motives were clear and her heart was in a good place. "For Sirius and his son." She nodded.

"I'm trying to get through to him before I have to do what we have to do, Alastair." Amelia spoke with conviction in her heart before looking at him.

"I'll do it Amelia." He came over and gently laid his hand on her shoulder squeezing.

Her hand came up and sat on his and squeezed it as well. "Thank you old friend."

"I will go check the cells before going out with Kingsley." Moody headed to the door, his eye activating and looking through the wall. "Watch out Crouch is coming in." He warned before opening the door and leaving as Crouch walked in.

"Senior Auror Bones! We need to talk."

"Bloody Hell…" The man said as he kept his face lurched down to the toilet of the muggle apartment he was renting. He felt his dinner from the previous night lurch from his stomach into the bowl. The full moon that had just passed carried with it the toll on himself.

He sat up and grabbed the water he had put next to it on the sink to clear his mouth that he had planned ahead of time. Slumping back till his back was resting against the cabinet under the sink he shuddered at the thoughts of what he had done the previous night and simply hoped he had been out of reach of anyone.

Leaning his head back against the sink he looked up at the roof as if seeing all the way up to the heavens and begged for relief. It felt almost like the older he got the harder the transformation took on him. Here he was at twenty one years old and yet he was feeling already close to his forties. The pain in his joints clearly sent shock waves through him at times. It was the one good thing about the transformations. They gave him true freedom in his mental facilities where he could be free. Not in control. Not focused on this accursed world.

No one else can know that however, although it is also the worst time for him…there was a true exhilaration that he couldn't fully say he disliked. These thoughts made him lean his forehead back down and let his hair fall in his face as he shuddered out a breath. He hated to admit it sometimes….but that bastard was right about being one. He shook his head and rose, turning to flush the toilet and looked directly into his face. Examining every little line every sign of tiredness as it seemed to slowly shrink. The curves and cracks of age receding somewhat in order to try and restore a little of his youthfulness.

He heard the pop before the knock as he finished washing himself down and turned to head to the door. Shaking his head and fixing his clothing into a better state…including his hair back to a more sensible manner he took a deep breath before pulling the door open.

"Hey Moony." His oldest friend stared back at him and he couldn't help but feel the curve of his lip twitch upward. "Are you doing alright?"

"Ah nothing new it seems…come in Padfoot." Remus Lupin held the door open to let Sirius walk in. They had a rough moments over the past two months due to the face that for a time it still was under scrutiny about why Remus had not been let in on the secret of the Secret Keeper but that had been easily calmed with the notion that if more knew then it wouldn't have kept up so well. The biggest strain was the fact that Sirius admitted that he thought Lupin had been the mole. That's what caused the fight that ended with Remus and him fighting due to them losing track of time and it being a full moon night. It had only ended when Amelia summoned chains to wrap around Remus before Remus killed Sirius. "Would you like some tea?"

"No, that won't be necessary, old friend… and will prevent me from saying why I am here." Remus eyed his friend and looked at the manor he was acting and speaking. This wasn't the same Sirius Black who was known for his mischievousness. The look in his eye could only pull at the base of his stomach and if he had not already lost his dinner and had eaten breakfast…he would have probably lost it again.

"What is going on Sirius?" His friend sat down and put his hands together bridging right under his nose as he looked for the right words to say to Remus.

"It's James."

Evening came and he could hear everyone through the walls. It sounds like Amelia is taking Harry and Susan to see Neville Longbottom and his grandmother. That poor boy…both his parents basically gone due to that damned torture curse. He had read in the paper he had snatched from the table that the Lestrange brothers and Barty Crouch Junior were arrested in the forest. It sounded like they had been chasing someone, probably a witness. He had thrown it to the side as he rolled back over on his bed and looked at the closed wallet and the image he knew was hiding within it. He refused to look at her how he is now. His face stung from the now warm metal that covered his face while the pillow covered his left eye giving him the perceived evidence of sleeping.

He twisted upward when he saw his door open and his eye bore into his intruders.

"What do you two want?" The words almost as if they were a warning to them in a weird sense. It made Remus wonder if they would be able to discuss this correctly together.

James had his hand under his pillow where his wand now always remained. He stared at them as he saw them both put their hands in the air.

"Easy James."

"Yeah what Sirius said. We're here to talk okay?"

James looked back and forth and sighed softly, his hand not leaving under the pillow but still it was clear his body had relaxed somewhat. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine James." They seemed to speak in tune before Remus continued. "How are you feeling James?"

"My face is ruined… MY wife is DEAD… MY CHILD WAS HUNTED BY A MANIAC BECAUSE OF A DAMNED PROPHECY!" James stood up snarling at them. "How do you think I feel Moony?!" The cold cut in the air was there once again. It seemed to always be when James' magic started to activate in such a way. It brought the memories to Sirius of when they were in the Aurors together and were in big fights. "I'm sorry I shouldn't snap at you like this…"

Remus watched and had to step back when his friend went on the attack, catching him completely off guard. He sighed in relief when it seemed that James pulled himself back some.

"It's okay James i get that right now you are not in a good place…"

"My face Remus…my fucking face is ruined…"

Remus snorted at this causing his friend to look up at them and saw the shake in his head. "I am plenty aware of how looks can affect you…look at me James." He gestured to himself showing the effects of the damned lycanthrope on him. How much it has changed him due to him being infected in his infancy.

"Yours can turn back but as for mine it will never be back to the way it was!" James looked at him dead in the eyes. "No matter what you say you can not think that a magical cursed scar is anything like what you are experiencing!" He stood up.

"You think the scar is why we're here though?"

"Then why else are you here?!"

Sirius finally spoke up getting in between them, when did he become the reasonable one he thought as well. "Because of Harry."

"What about my son?!" James turned on him as well. "He's fine. He's growing up good ... .at least he won't have to remember his mother in that way…"

"James!" Sirius and Remus's voice once again became one before Padfoot continued. "He needs you James. Me and Amelia have done alot for the both of you here at Bones Manor. We have understood that the trauma you've both faced will impact you in a way that neither of us can understand, but you have to see that what you are doing now James is self destructive!"

"We're worried about you James." Remus added gazing at his friend pleadingly.

"Stop being it then…"

Sirius began to scowl at James' comment. "James… You are not acting like yourself. This isn't what Li-"

"Don't you say her bloody name…"

Sirius raised his eyebrows at that. "Have you even looked at a photo of her since that night James?"

"I never want to let her see me like this." His voice finally showed some somberness.

"James… She wouldn't want to see you in this mental shape."

"How do you know….what she'd want…"

"Because we were her friends too James." Remus stared at him and approached. "If I know Lily This isn't the man she married." This however was the complete wrong thing to say as he rounded on them his hand pulling his wand with him up and he twisted putting his back to the wall like his training had taught him.

"DOES THIS," He tore his mask off, "LOOK LIKE THE MAN SHE MARRIED?!" This was Remus' first time seeing James without the mask and thus froze upon seeing the sunken skull, the missing eye, the almost lightning created tree on his face that stopped right where his cheek and lips met.

"James…"

"Get out…"

"James if you don't fix yourself we're going to have to take drastic-"

"I SAID GET OUT!" James now showed his skill as he cast binding charms on their hands and feet before then sending banishing charms to send them out the door and into the hallway. He finished his flourish with a summoning charm to close the door and a locking charm to finish it.

Then he waited…and after a moment he dropped his wand from his hand and let his weight take him back to his bed where he sat down and hung his head softly. His tears began to fall from them. Damn it all. Damn that Dark Lord….Damn Lily for leaving him when he needed her now…and most of all damn himself… Damn himself for what he was becoming and what this was.

Slowly his tears became dry on their own as he held his mask in his hand staring at it before something finally felt off. He closed his one eye and focused… something he hadn't done fully since his days…

"Bollocks." He turned and there stood Alastor "Mad-eye" Moody standing where the crib and the bedside table met. "How did you get in here?"

"Boy, this is my boss lady, and her boyfriend's apparently, manor." Mad-eye stared at him with the robotic eye unmoving. "I had five ways inside this building to help save her in case of an emergency even before she started dating your Mutt…. He just made me add two more."

"Ha…ha…ha Mad-eye…" He turned and began to lift his mask to his face.

"Give that blasted thing here…" James paused and looked at it as he sat again before he handed it to Moody. Moody examined it for a while. "Good craftsmanship, you always had a talent for transfiguration, but you should get a better one. One that doesn't add to your limitations now." Moody said as he walked around looking around the room before dropping the mask besides James. Moody's eye went to the wallet and as his eye peeked through the picture of Lily. The picture seemed to sense his sight and he saw what he supposed was a desperate wife asking for help for her husband.

"What do you want, Moody?" James asked curtly, staring up at him. His empty eye socket seemed to bore into Moody.

"That's what I was going to ask you, Potter." Moody sat down across from the man.

"I'm not that same person anymore Moody."

"I know."

"No I'm not that….wait did you say you knew?"

"James, look at me." Moody looked at his former student deeply before reaching up and removing his false eye and sat it inside of James' mask. He lifted his leg up and began to disconnect his wooden leg as well before placing it beside him. "I'm not the man I was either."

"You don't get it Moody… The things I've lost"

"A woman who you loved above all else?" This again caused James to freeze.

"You had a wife?"

"Yes… " He pulled out the photo of her that was hidden in a secret compartment on his leg and he held it to James, who gently took it. He turned it over and saw that the photo didn't move. "She was a muggleborn."

James froze as he looked at the woman in the picture. "She's very beautiful."

"She was… I miss her every single day… I promised though that once this war was over I'd retire." He let out a long sigh. "Which is what I plan on doing. I'm moving to a cabin after Amelia gets promoted. Her and the Mutt will be alright without me."

"You'll be a damn true loss to the aurors Mad-eye."

"As do I do believe you will be James."

James looked at him before looking back at the photo. "How did you do it after you were first scared?"

"I stared at myself in the mirror for days on end after losing my eye… I refused to let Annabelle see me in that state." He admitted. "But I knew that if I let it define me… I was never going to see the beauty of her again. So…I found an enchanter to fix my eye. Couldn't do a thing for my face but I went to see her and her instant reaction was she hugged me… she was simply glad I was there. The war continued and as I lost my leg, I replaced that as well. The one thing I regret to say is I could never give Anna the family she wanted after another mission."

"You're sterile." Moody nodded. "I'm sorry Alastor."

"Ah don't be. The Moody Family was bound to come to an end eventually. We all were Aurors ... .every last one of us."

"What's this got to do with me Moody?"

"Don't let your scars prevent you from having the life you can have with your son. I'm not saying you have to go in public if you do not wish but you're abandoning him like I did to her."

This shook James to his core and made him look to the past several months.

"Amelia wouldn't want me to tell you this…. But this is out of my respect for you. If you don't shape yourself up… You're going to lose Harry." James spun to look at him, his eye wide with fear.

"They…They'd take him?"

"You're not being a good parent James. You know protocol. The only reason you haven't been called in the first month was because of your connection to Amelia and the trauma you've sustained…she can't hold off the hounds any longer though James. Harry needs his father. Needs the James Potter that came in holding his head high right before I cursed him onto his back with his ass in the air."

James chuckled softly before looking at Moody. Since his parents died he had seen Moody in an almost uncle light and right now he was incredibly happy to have him as the tears began to run anew. Moody wrapped an arm over his shoulders as he saw him breaking down.

"I've failed him Moody, I've failed Harry."

"Not yet you haven't boy ... .not yet you haven't."