AN: Monster Rewrite, whoo! This is a rewrite of a story I posted 2 years ago now. I will be leaving that version up, but this is the preferred version for you to read. Please keep in mind the sensitive topics of this story and read at your own risk. I hope you all enjoy!

Marinette stared hopelessly at her reflection. She barely recognised whatever she'd become. Her blue hair was now choppy and sat awkwardly on her head, some parts curling up at the end, while others stuck out in every direction. She'd tried to regain some semblance of control, lopping off her hair on impulse, as if it would solve any of her problems.

By the time she'd realised that cutting her hair in such a way solved absolutely nothing, it was far too late. She still held clumps of her once beautiful hair, holding on for dear life to the one thing that remained of who she once was.

Marinette stared, unblinking, for a long minute before throwing the hair in the bin.

Tikki tried her best to be supportive of Marinette's hair, complimenting it awkwardly, large eyes betraying her concern.

Her parents were much the same when she went down for dinner that night.

She pretended not to notice the worried looks, or the misty sheen in her mother's eyes. Dinner had never been so silent.

When Marinette turned up to school the next day, Chloe had loudly exclaimed that, "Dupain-Cheng finally cracked!"

Lila had watched from her seat beside Alya with a barely contained smirk. It was the first time everyone had so willingly agreed with something Chloe had said.

Marinette screamed at herself to just turn around and walk out, but her feet shuffled her to her seat right in the back corner. She lifted a hand to mess with one of her pigtails – a nervous habit she'd developed over the months of dealing with Lila – only to stop herself halfway and let her hand drop uselessly to the table.

Marinette kept her eyes down, terrified of accidentally catching someone's eye, knowing everyone continued to watch her. The weight of their gaze pressed tighter, tighter, suffocating. Marinette wanted to cry out in fear, beg for help, but she knew none would come. They'd all prefer to see her crushed. Part of Marinette preferred that too.

Marinette only slightly looked up when Ms Bustier called her name for attendance, her hand raised for all of a second before it quickly fell back to the desk again. Ms Bustier made a small noise in acknowledgement, so Marinette let herself zone back out for the remainder of the process.

"Now," Ms Bustier began once the attendance was finished, "Lila has…suggested that there be a re-election for class representative." Ms Bustier seemed hesitant, unsure, and Marinette could feel her eyes lingering.

"We will first hold a vote for those in favour of a re-election. It will be based on majority vote. Then, if the vote is in favour of a re-election, I will invite students to nominate themselves. We will hold the re-election tomorrow morning, so I suggest anyone who nominates themselves to begin working on your speech at lunchtime today. So, all that being said, those in favour of a re-election, please raise your hands."

Ms Bustier watched as everyone raised their hands. All aside from Adrien and Marinette, who slumped over in her seat, arms crossed on the desk and her chin resting on her arms.

Marinette knew this was coming, eventually. When the possibility had first occurred to her a few months ago, she'd felt horrified and upset at losing her position. Now, she was almost glad for it, and that was the thing that truly made her crumble.

Ms Bustier sighed, watching a few moments longer than necessary. "And…all those against the re-election, please raise your hand."

Adrien was the only one to do so. Almost immediately, Marinette saw as Nino leaned over to question his friend, Alya leaning forward to join as well.

Adrien's decision held firm.

Stupid, stupid decision.

Marinette closed her eyes, unable to look anymore.

Marinette stayed silent through it all, unmoving. She listened as Lila nominated herself, then Chloe. There was no need for speeches, Lila had already won. Lila won every time.

Adrien found her at her locker during lunch, sitting with her against the cold metal in silence, giving Marinette both the space and company she desperately needed. Despite herself, Marinette questioned whether Adrien was doing this simply to be a good friend, or because everyone else had refused to sit with him. Marinette supposed it was a bit of both.

The night air didn't soothe her like it used to. She had spent many long hours out on her balcony, staring up at the stars ignoring the cold.

Now, the stars didn't seem to shine as brightly, the cold too harsh. For the first time, when Marinette looked up at the stars, all she saw was a bitter reflection of herself.

She wrapped her arms around herself against the bitter air, nails digging into her forearms. Marinette relished in the sting, reminding her she was alive, she could feel. She gripped harder, nails sinking deeper. She stopped only when a nail suddenly broke.

Lila won. Even if she wasn't up against Chloe, Lila would have won.

Marinette walked out of the classroom, ignoring Ms Bustier's calls for her to return.

She wandered aimlessly through the streets, turning off her phone when her parents started calling her non-stop.

She just needed to get away.

Eventually, Marinette ducked into an alley and transformed into Ladybug, switching to running along rooftops.

She had no idea where she was headed, just letting her feet carry her wherever they so pleased, hoping it was somewhere far away. Until, she stopped suddenly, realising where she'd ended up.

That rooftop. That night seemed so far away now, like a distant, unattainable dream. Tears prickled behind her eyes remembering the rose Chat had given her that night. That night remained one of her most special memories, so it came as no surprise, really, that her subconscious would seek out this spot for comfort.

De-transforming, Marinette sat at the rail, putting her legs through the gaps, idly swinging them back and forth. She stared off somewhere in the distance, unseeing, a dull buzz settling in her head.

Marinette almost managed to launch herself off the edge when someone touched her shoulder. She whirled around, eyes blown wide, only slightly relaxing when she recognised it as Chat Noir's silhouette in the setting sun.

"Marinette?" He asked, stepping closer again once he saw Marinette recognised it was him.

"What are you doing here, Chat Noir?" Marinette turned around again, sitting back in her previous position. After a moment, Chat joined her.

"Out looking for you, actually. What are you doing here? And, how?"

"Doesn't matter." Marinette pressed her forehead into the metal rail, eyes firmly closed against the feeling.

Chat Noir eyed Marinette, worry clouding his stare.

"Don't look at me like that." She sighed.

"Like what?"

"Like I might jump off any moment."

"Will you?"

"Maybe."

They'd sat in silence for hours after, until it was well past midnight when Chat Noir dropped her back on her balcony. Marinette had expected Chat Noir to leave immediately, but he stayed, still watching her.

Watching, watching, watching. Everyone was always watching her.

"What's going on, Marinette? Talk to me, please." Chat Noir sounded so desperate. If there was anything left in Marinette to break, it would have shattered.

"Nothing." The crack in her voice betrayed her.

Chat Noir gave her a look, and the crack splintered and fractured and the dam broke through.

"How could they take her side?" She sobbed, staring pleadingly at Chat, tears already flowing. "All these years, and they choose her. They're so ready to believe I'm this absolute monster, with only Lila's word. It-it makes me wonder, is she right? She's so convincing she's even got me questioning who I am."

Chat held her close, holding her together. But the pieces all fit wrong, the cracks still showed, on display to any who cared to look.

It was then the despair turned to anger. Seething, burning, rage.

Chat Noir must have felt the sudden shift, as he pulled back to look at her, at the tears still falling and the way her face contorted.

"Marinette…"

"If they're so determined to see a monster…"

She was going to burn the world to the ground.

Make them feel her pain, see what they did.

Make them suffer.

Make them beg.

When Lila's empire of lies came crumbling down, make them see what they caused.

"Marinette, no." As if he could read her thoughts. His green eyes were large and pleading, meeting her once bright eyes now filled with determined fury.

Marinette pulled away from Chat, putting distance between them, leaving Chat desperately reaching for her.

She held his stare as she declared, "Let them see a monster."

His head dropped, like he didn't want to fight her. Maybe he realised how much she needed this. Maybe she wasn't worth fighting for. He seemed to fight himself instead, for a few long moments, almost frozen in place if not for the unsteady rise and fall of his chest.

"Ok then. I don't support this, but I support you, princess." He smiled at her, small and kind, his eyebrows slightly knitted in sincerity.

She finally let him come closer again, and she let herself relax into his arms, not realising how badly she truly needed someone's support. Just one friend in her corner. He didn't quite make up for all the others she lost, couldn't quite fill that gaping hole left behind, but in that moment, he was the truest friend she'd ever had.

Marinette didn't realise she'd been crying until much later when she pulled away and saw the fresh wet spots on Chat's suit. He never said anything about it, not once, just held her tight.

For the first time in a long time, Marinette walked into school with her head held high. She'd spent the weekend designing a few new outfits, retiring the pinks and flowers, switching it for something that would suit her new attitude better. She didn't think she'd be taken too seriously otherwise.

People were already whispering when she entered the classroom. Word travelled fast, as always.

Marinette didn't falter, letting the buzz settle into her head, content just to act on autopilot for now.

"Go dumpster diving again did you Dupain-Cheng?" Chloe was the first to speak up again, laughing loudly to Sabrina who took a moment to begin laughing as well. Marinette scoffed at Chloe but ultimately ignored her and sat her desk, arms crossed over her chest.

Marinette stared down every person who turned to look at her. Rose and Mylene had backed down immediately, while Alya had continued to look.

Marinette raised an eyebrow, blinking once in a show of boredom. Alya, always up for a challenge, sneered at her and bravely held the stare.

"Putting those glasses to good use are you, freak?" Marinette suddenly said, watching the confusion, shock, and hurt flash across Alya's face in quick succession.

"What did you call me?" Alya looked about ready to launch at Marinette, and she'd barely gotten started.

"Freak. What, don't tell me you need hearing aids too. Although, if I had to listen to Nino's god awful DJing every day, I think I might actually prefer going deaf." Marinette knew she'd crossed the line – good.

"That's low, dude." Nino piped up, shifting his cap.

"Oh, you think that's low? How ironic." Marinette rolled her eyes, sighing dramatically as Alya slammed her hands on a desk. Adrien, who'd been standing in the doorway since the comment about Nino's DJing, jumped at the sound. His eyes flicked up to Marinette, though he didn't look as confused as she'd thought he might be. Well, maybe he had been expecting this eventually.

"What, so you've finally stopped pretending? Finally proving Lila has been right this whole time?" Alya asked, standing now.

"Oh yes, you've got me, years and years of pretending is finally done. Well done you for figuring it all out." Marinette deadpanned, mockingly clapping for her former best friend. "I just hope you can handle it. But I'm sure your amazing new class rep can protect you." A class rep who seemed extremely confused, much to Marinette's pleasure.

"I won't let a bully like you win, Marinette. It's bad enough how you've tormented me, I won't let you do it to anyone else!" Lila loudly exclaimed, putting on all the dramatics. Anyone with half a brain could see how put-on it was, but apparently…

"Right, bullies like me, sure. I'd love to see you try, Lila. Fire with fire and all that." Marinette waved a hand dismissively, which she hoped would leave Lila floundering a little.

The buzz had long left, and the feelings of doubt crept in to replace it. Part of her was horrified by how easy it was, the things she said.

But this was for the best. She'd just have to live with it, no matter how far she had to go.

Adrien joined her for lunch again, though this time they sat openly at a table in the cafeteria this time. Marinette hadn't been able to stomach much food lately, so she'd had half a sandwich and left it at that.

"You don't have to sit with me, you know." Marinette heard herself saying, the façade breaking only slightly when it came to Adrien.

"I want to. I don't care what they say, you're my friend. I might not like what you're doing, but…I understand." He smiled at her around a bite of food, and she found herself just barely staring back.

"Really? I thought you said I should just…lay low?"

"Yeah, but if this is something you feel you need to do, then I get it. Like I said, I don't like it, but I'll support you every step of the way."

"Thank you, Adrien." She whispered. Marinette wasn't sure he heard it, but saying it was enough.

"How can you keep being friends with her, dude? Didn't you hear what she said in class?"

Marinette shouldn't have been listening, but with how things were going at the moment, well.

"Yeah, I did." Adrien said, closing his locker.

"So?" The confusion in Nino's voice was almost amusing.

"So, what?"

"How can you still be friends with her?" It sounded like Nino was growing frustrated, the urge to yell clear in the slight raise of his voice.

"How can you be friends with Lila?"

"Lila is the victim in all this! Marinette has been bullying Lila for ages now. And Lila is genuinely a nice person, unlike Marinette."

Marinette rolled her eyes.

"Uh huh. Sure she is." Adrien said sarcastically, footsteps following immediately after. Marinette moved away from the door as it started opening, Adrien appearing a moment later. Marinette caught a look at Nino, still standing at his locker and staring after Adrien.

Adrien glanced up and saw her there, now leaning against a pole a few feet from the locker room. Neither of them commented on what had happened with Nino, instead falling silently into step beside each other, heading for the exit.

They parted ways at the bottom of the stairs, Adrien heading for his car and Marinette beginning the walk home.

When an akuma alert sounded that night, Marinette stayed on her bed for a few long seconds, staring up at the ceiling with a far away look. Tikki had to tap her cheek a few times for Marinette to bother getting up.

Marinette had been finding it increasingly difficult to care about her Ladybug duties with everything going on. What was she saving Paris for, if everyone was so quick to hate her? Who cared about saving Marinette?

"Alright, Tikki. I'm going." Marinette mumbled, transforming, and making her way out into the city.

It wasn't a surprise to find Chat Noir already there and locked in an easy back and forth fight with the akuma. She landed behind him, doing her best to uphold her usual persona.

"Sorry I'm late, Chat. Where do you think the akuma is?" Ladybug asked, gesturing her head vaguely in their direction.

The akuma was exactly remarkable, although most designs had lost their novelty after having fought so many. The only notable thing seemed to be the whistle around their neck, which seemed a good of a place as any to put an akuma.

"Best guess says it's in that whistle." Chat said, echoing her thoughts.

"I'll distract her while you get that whistle off her neck, ok?"

"Alright, milady!" With silly little salute, Chat Noir was running off, while Ladybug got the full attention of the akuma.

It was short work after that. Ladybug called on her lucky charm, getting a bouncy ball. She used it to knock the akuma over, allowing Chat Noir to swoop in and break the whistle.

Ladybug wasn't even sure what the akuma had been about, completely checked out and running purely on autopilot. If Chat had noticed anything different, he didn't say so as they did their little 'pound it!'

"Well, I'll see you later, Chat Noir. Bug out!" She readied her yoyo, about to swing off when Chat Noir caught her arm.

"Just…one second, Ladybug. There's something I need to talk to you about."

Ladybug's eyebrows twitched together for a moment, a faint beeping in her ears.

"Ok, but make it quick, I only have a few minutes." She lowered her arm, turning to give her full attention to her partner. "What's up?"

"It's…my friend. I'm worried about her. I can't tell you too much about it, but…I'm worried about her. Like really worried. There's been some issues at school, and I didn't think it was getting to her, but it seems like it got to her bad, and now she's not herself. I'm worried that she won't be ok. In fact, I was worried I was about to fight her tonight. What do I do, bug?" It all came out in an emotional rush, Chat Noir barely pausing for a breath.

"Wow, that…sounds like a lot. Without knowing too much about it, it seems to me like what your friend really needs right now is, well, a friend. Talk to her, be there for her in any way you can, in whatever way she needs. That's all you can do, really. Just support her through it, and I'm sure it'll be fine." If Ladybug was good for one thing, it was this.

"Thanks, Ladybug. That really helped. I think I'm going to go see her. See you later, milady." Chat was gone before she could get a word in. Fuck.

Marinette had barely slipped inside and detransformed before Chat Noir landed on her balcony and tapped on the sky light. Taking a moment to feed Tikki and calm her breathing, Marinette eventually poked her head out and saw Chat leaning against the railing a few feet away.

"Chat Noir? What are you doing here?"

"I just…felt like swinging by." He shrugged, pushing off the railing as Marinette came fully through the skylight, joining him on her balcony.

"Oh."

"I wanted to make sure you were ok." He mumbled, almost too low for her to hear. Marinette smiled for him, although she wasn't sure it actually met her eyes.

"Thank you, kitty. But I'm ok!"

He gave her a look. She held firm for a moment, before her smile dropped.

"Talk to me, princess."

It seemed hypocritical to defy the advice she'd given to Chat only minutes earlier, but Marinette could add that to the list of all the reasons she was a terrible person.

"No." She sighed, crossing her arms defensively over herself.

Just the other night, she'd broken down for him. She was determined not to let that happen again.

"Why not?"

"I don't want you to think of me as a bad person, too. I couldn't take it if you hated me."

God, him and his stupid, big green eyes. She didn't mean for it to slip out. The truth. She didn't want to let him in, because then he'd see her for who she truly was and leave her too. Everyone else had, so why not him?

"Marinette, I could never."

"You don't know that."

"But I do."

"But you don't."

As it was, they barely knew each other. She didn't know why he was there in the first place, why he seemed to care for her so much. Sure, she'd helped him fight akuma's – as Marinette -, and they'd spent many nights before talking on this balcony, but…He didn't know the things she so easily said that morning. He didn't know the things she thought about herself. He didn't know how badly she wished to disappear.

"You don't know that either, princess."

But she did.

"Let me be your friend. Let me be there for you. Let me prove that you're worth staying by."

"Why do you care so much, Chat?!" She yelled, the pure sincerity pushing her to the edge.

"Because I can't bear to see such an amazing person so destroyed."

Marinette turned and fled back down to her bedroom, slamming and locking the skylight behind her. She rushed into the bathroom, staring hard at her reflection in the mirror. Whatever stared back at her looked so dull and lifeless. Broken, just as Chat had said.

Her brokenness shone through the cracks she felt deep inside, seeping out and displaying to the world all the worst parts of herself.

She gripped the edge of the sink, knocking the scissors she'd used to cut her hair to the floor, her knuckles cramping and turning deathly white. The loud clatter of the scissors caught her attention through the haze of her mind, blurry vision locking on them.

She deserved this. She deserved the pain.

She didn't register the harsh sting until the third or fourth cut. When her mind finally caught up, Marinette sobbed and continued, grimacing at the tears that dripped onto the fresh wounds.

"Fuck!" She screamed, long and loud, echoing through the bathroom, anguished and so full of hatred. Utter hatred for herself, for the world, for Lila.

If Chat Noir was still up on her balcony, Marinette had no doubt he would have heard it, even without his advanced hearing.

Her entire arm burned, coupled with the blood that now covered it making it impossible to pick out the individual cuts.

"Fuck." She said again, quieter this time, as she processed the damage, what she'd just done. As she processed how freeing and good it felt, despite the burn. Because of the burn.

The door slammed open, startling the scissor's out of her hand. Marinette expected to see her parents there – before remembering that they had gone out for date night – and instead saw Chat Noir in the doorway, nostrils flaring at the metallic smell and his eyes locked on Marinette's arm.

"Fuck." He mumbled in disbelief, immediately moving into the bathroom to take care of her. He quickly grabbed a cloth from the shower and ran it under warm water, using it to carefully wash her arm.

Marinette watched it all as if she was an outsider, detached and disoriented and mostly numb to the renewed stinging.

The bleeding had mostly stopped as Chat Noir disinfected and bandaged everything, so gentle and careful it had brought fresh tears to her eyes that had nothing to do with the pain.

He placed a soft, tentative kiss over the bandage, and Marinette realised he was crying too.