Disclaimer: I'm too young to be Rowling so there is sadly no way Harry Potter is mine…
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MINISTRY APPROVED
CHAPTER 1
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THE PINK CARDIGAN
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HELLO, AND WELCOME TO THE PINK CARDIGAN!
We are the new and ministry approved, student issued newspaper! After Headmistress Dolores Jane Umbridge confiscated our usual interesting magazines – for all that haven't noticed, yet, the usual hiding spots of those magazines in the boy's toilet on sixth floor and the girl's toilet on second floor as well as those various private hiding spots in various common rooms and dorms have been emptied by the Headmistress – we, the team of the Pink Cardigan, decided to issue our own, ministry approved newspaper!
Here, we will entertain you with all the important stories that Hogwarts has to offer, we will discuss rumours and remind you of the current Quidditch scores, Gobstone game plans and House Points! Like that, you will always be up to date with the newest gossip and the most important news Hogwarts has to offer.
You don't think that's necessary?
Well, do you remember five years ago when we suddenly weren't allowed to enter the third-floor corridor? Most of us never found out why – because nobody knew who was brave enough to go and take a look. Now, five years later, we can finally tell you that apparently something has been hidden in the third floor and was guarded by a Cerberus. There are also rumours that the reason why Professor Quirrell left us after that year had to do with the fact that he tried to steal it and one of our more well-known students ended up stopping him.
Or what about second year and the mysterious case of people petrifying all over the castle? We never got an explanation for this either, but thanks to the reporters of the Pink Cardigan, we can now proudly proclaim to those poor souls who were turned into stone: Congratulations! You survived your first meeting with a beast of an XXXX Ministry of Magic Classification – a basilisk! You're half way on your way to become a Beast Master! Isn't that cool to know, now, after four years of nobody telling you that important titbit?
Of course, there was also the whole debacle the year after with Sirius Black on the loose. What debacle, you might ask? Well, did you know that the reason we all had an improper sleep-over in the Great Hall that one night was because Sirius Black broke into Gryffindor Tower? Did you also know that he managed to do so more than once and that the teachers still don't know how he entered and left the castle? No? You're welcome! You've finally caught up with the whole of Gryffindor when it comes to knowledge! Maybe, this year, you'll finally be able to find and edge over them when it comes to House Points, since you bridged that important gap!
Not to mention all those important love affairs you've been missing out! Last year seemed to have been the year for that. Oh, there were some very gossip-worthy titbits talked about in the Daily Prophet when it comes to our more well-known celebrity, but did you know that our beloved Care of Magical Creature Professor made some cow eyes towards the Headmistress of Beauxbateau? Clearly, he was taken in by her charming accent! Not to mention that some of you clearly would have needed a reminder where and when the dance lessons would take place since they obviously only attended once to learn an opening dance and nothing more!
Old news, you say? Well, yes, today it sure is. But what about those rumours about an illegal defence club being led just beneath our dear Headmistress nose? Apparently, the reason why we had a change in leadership in the middle of the school year was related to that issue, too. Oh, you haven't heard about that, yet? Well, you're welcome! That's why we exist!
A slight correction at the end of our first article: There might have occurred a slight spelling error in our article. Please edit your newspaper name to "Pink Guardian" and we will promise you that from now on, we will try to use the correct title of our new and ministry approved student-issued newspaper.
On another note, if you want to join the defence club, Dolores Angels are still active! Just ask one of our dear Headmistress' more devoted followers who meet after dinner in the Great Hall every night for detention ever since our old Headmaster left the castle.
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Neville hummed and put the pencil down.
The next day, the 'Pink Cardigan' issued their first edition ever. It was sold out within the hour.
"I guess they liked the article about the gnome population in the Forbidden Forest," Luna said, sounding quite pleased with herself. "The picture of the little gnome in its pink dress was especially cute, wasn't it?"
Susan crooked her head thoughtfully.
"We could make it part of our cooperate design," she suggested thoughtfully. "It would look especially cute standing next to our title."
Luna hummed happily and Neville looked at the photo thoughtfully.
"Do you think Madam Umbridge would mind?" he asked. "It's a newspaper in her honour after all…"
"I doubt it," Luna said thoughtfully. "It's cute, after all."
The next issues of the 'Pink Cardigan' would all end up containing the gnome in a pink dress next to the newspaper name.
I hope you liked it.
'Till next time.
Ebenbild