Chris: It's been 15 years since our show first aired. And we're back where it all began. This abandoned summer camp in muskoka Canada. Back to the rundown cabins. Hungry bears. Hungrier bugs. The stinky outhouse where contestants confess their secrets. And, of course, Chef's disgusting food. Today sixteen new contestants arrive and battle it out to be the last one standing and win one million dollars. (Money rains down on him) Someone's gonna pick this up, right? But winning won't be easy. This isn't just a reboot. It's a reboot to the face. Crazier challenges, deadlier dares, and a writing team made up of angry monkeys who nothing more than to see humanity fall. As always, I'm your host, Chris Mclean, and this is TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND!
(Intro)
Chris: Welcome back. Now, let's meet the victims. (Laughs) I mean, campers. First up, Millie.
(A chubby black Canadian girl arrives and steps off the boat onto the dock)
Millie: Hi Chris, happy to be here.
Chris: Welcome Millie, just go over to the green mat please.
(Confessional) Millie: I'm here to write a novel about the epic fail that is my own generation. I mean my parents generation became famous by saving lives where as my generation just gets famous by live streaming themselves doing stupid stuff.
Chris: Next up, Axel.
(The next speedboat arrived with an angry looking lightskin girl with her hair tied up in a ponytail)
Axel: I'm here to win, and take down every zombie on this island.
Chris: There are no zombies on this island.
Axel: Yet.
Chris: Whatever, go stand on the red mat please. Next up, Lauren.
(The next speedboat arrives with a scary looking girl)
Scary Girl: (Giggles)
Chris: Welcome.
Scary Girl: You should stop looking at me.
Chris: Well then, go to the red mat so we can look at our next camper, Priya.
(The next speedboat showed up with a Indian-Canadian girl wearing blue)
Priya: OMG hi Chris! My parents are huge fans of yours!
Chris: Uh, thanks. I think. To the red mat please.
(Confessional) Priya: My parents are huge total drama fans. And have been training me my entire life, just in case there was reboot. So there's nothing I'm not ready for.
Chris: Oh, here comes Chase.
(A speedboat was arriving very fast with an East-Asian Canadian guy in a red hoodie was doing some waterskiing. The guy was waving at his fellow competitors. He lost balance and begin to fumble. The speedboat stopped abruptly and he went flying right into Priya)
(Both of them groaned in pain. Chris decided to laugh)
(Confessional) Priya: Okay that I certainly wasn't ready for.
Chris: Hilarious wipeout Chase. (Laughs)
(Priya Opens her eyes to find Chase on top of her)
Priya: (Surprised) Oh, oh my.
Chase: Sorry, my bad. Here I'll help you up. (Gets off Priya and helps her up)
Priya: Thanks.
Chase: Sure. Tho you gotta admit, it was one epic wipeout wasn't it? It would have made a great video for my live stream.
Priya: Live stream?
Chase: Yep, it's called 3 guys in a beach house!
Millie: Isn't called 3 guys and a girl in a beach house?
(Confessional) Chase: It use to be the guys and a girl in a beach house! But changed, cause my girlfriend Emma out of nowhere, dumped me. Also I dare you to check out my channel and look at my videos. And if you like them, don't forget to subscribe.
Chris: Chase, just stand on the red mat please. Next up, Zee.
(The next speedboat arrived with a tall guy in a green hat)
Zee: What's up? I'm Hezekias, but my peeps just call me Zee.
Chris: Definitely better than your actual name. On the red mat please. Our next camper is Ripper.
(The next speedboat arrived with a gross chunky white dude)
Ripper: Time for beast mode. (Rips his shirts and shoes his muscles, which he clearly doesn't have)
Priya: (Grossed out) Oh. Oh my.
Millie: Ugh!
Ripper: Take a long dreamy gander ladies. Cause once I win the million bucks, I'll be out of your league.
Chris: I don't see a suitcase. Was that your only shirt?
Ripper: Ah, fart nugget.
Chris: We'll find you something. In the meantime go stand on the green mat. Next up, Damien.
(Another speedboat showed up with a lad in a yellow hat)
Damien: Hey, what's up man, I'm here for that million bucks. Where it at?
Chris: We don't just give it to you. You have seen this show before, right?
Damien: Nope. How do I get the money?
Chris: Oh, you are gonna be fun. To the green mat please.
(Confessional) Damien: I've never heard of total drama, but my friends dared me to make an audition tape. And if there's a million bucks up for grabs, how hard can it be.
Chris: Next up, Julia.
(Another speedboat came with a pretty blonde in a white top and jean shorts)
Chris: Welcome Julia-
Julia: Sorry I just- (Gets a selfie with Chris) Thanks. Hashtag, my journey begins.
Chris: Um, remember the blah blah blah contract that you signed? There was that bit about no phones on the island.
Julia: But how am I supposed to grow as a person if I'm not telling my followers that I'm growing as a person?
Chris: That is a question for someone who cares about that question. Give Chef all your phones please.
Julia: What do mean all my phones?
Chris: Is that suppose to be a trick question?
(Annoyed Julia puts all her phones in the box Chef is holding)
Julia: Bye babies. Don't worry, mommy will be back for you.
Chris: Don't worry, you're phones will safe, at the bottom of this lake.
(Chef throws Julia's phones into the lake making her scream in horror)
Chris: Quit your screaming and go stand on the red mat. Next up, Bowie.
(Confessional) Bowie: Hi. I'm Bowie. And I'd be first openly gay contestant. FYI, I'm very competitive.
Chris: Bowie, just on the green mat please. And now...(Was interrupted by a load gasps)
(The gasps came from a chubby blonde girl who just stepped onto the dock)
Emma: (Points at Chase) What is he doing here?!
Chase: Babe!
(Emma launches at Chase but Chris stops her before she could get to him)
Bowie: Ooh, I like this one. (He saids to Ripper who just doesn't care)
Chris: Wow. Wow. In...tense. You'd almost think we brought you both here on purpose. (Winks) Now, on to the green mat with you Emma. Up next Mary Kate.
(A small girl steps of the speedboat onto the dock)
MK: Heya, call me MK.
Chris: MK just on the green mat please. And now... (Sighs) Caleb.
(A muscular black guy stepped onto the dock)
Priya: Oh my.
Emma: Whoa.
(Millie, Priya, Emma and Bowie look at Caleb dreamily)
Caleb: Hello everyone, happy to meet you all.
Zee: Wow, it's pretty clear who's going to win this thing. Twenty bucks on that guy.
Priya: Betting against yourself seems wrong.
Zee: Dis-o-agree. If I win, I get the million. But I don't win, and he does. I make twenty bucks.
Chase: Oh, cleaver. I want in this. Twenty bucks on you to win. (Points at Priya)
Priya: Why me?
Chase: You look pretty fit.
Priya: (Blushes) Oh, thanks.
Chris: Our next camper is a bit of a big deal. Welcome, Nichelle Ladonna.
Nichelle: Yes. Hi, it's me.
Bowie: Nichelle Ladonna, star of the hit Tv show hot teen ninja detective squad.
Emma: I loved her in gorgeous people high.
Priya: Be cool. Be cool. Be cool. OMG. I am literally the biggest fan ever!
Nichelle: Ok.
(Confessional) Priya: That was not cool.
Chris: Nichelle to the green mat with Caleb please. Now our last two players came as a package deal, all the way from northern Alberta. Wayne and Raj.
Raj: Dude, imagine wintertime. This lake turning into ice.
Wayne: Biggest hockey rink ever bro.
(Both the hockey bros laugh as they step onto the dock)
Raj: Sup man, we're here, hey?
Chris: Boys, you're team is on the red mat.
Wayne: Oh, sweet. Thanks, coach. Guess these are our teammates. What you think Raji?
Raj: I'd be more impressed with a clod toilet.
Axel: (Grabs Raj by his hockey jersey) And I'd more impressed with my foot in your face.
Raj: (Mocks) Oh no, this little girl thinks she can hurt me.
Wayne: (Mocks) Oh be nice Raji, maybe she's trying to us big guys that she's tougher.
(The hockey bros laugh causing Axel to throw Raj off the dock into the lake)
Wayne: Raji!
Axel: Get ready to join him, bigmouth. (Stomps towards Wayne but Chris stops)
Chris: Whoa, love the drama. But save it for the game.
Chef: This team is the ferocious tout.
(The Ferocious Tout are Axel, Chase, Priya, Zee, Julia, Scary Girl, Wayne and Raj)
Chef: This team the frogs of death.
(The Frogs Of Death are Caleb, Bowie, Emma, MK, Millie, Ripper, Damien and Nichelle)
Chef: Your teams will compete in head-to-head challenges. If your team wins, you're all safe.
Chris: The losing team, however, will attend a marshmallow ceremony at the fire pit, where they'll vote on which team member is the loser-iest loser of the losers, and that person is eliminated, will immediately head to the dock of shame and be flown home by the drone of despair. Ah! I get such joy seeing you accomplish nothing except hurting yourselves for my entertainment.
Damien: Sorry. How are we, er, getting hurt?
Chris: (Whispers to Chef) He's never seen the show.
Chef: Oh, that poor, poor, sweet child.
Chris: You'll find your cabin's with your team flag. Go get settled. We meet at the beach in one hour for your first challenge.
(At the Ferocious Tout cabin, the girls side)
Priya: This one's perfect.
Axel: I'll take the top. (places her bag on top, almost crushing Priya)
Priya: Whoa! Ok, I'll grab a different bed.
Axel: Whatever.
(Priya moves to another bed, however, Scary Girl is on the bed above her)
Scary Girl: Do you scream in your sleep?
Priya: No.
Scary Girl: Huh, we'll see.
Priya: Uh, I'm gonna try the bed way over there. (Moves to the bed under Julia's bed) Yep, this one's perfect.
(Priya's bed ends up folding in half and she gets stuck)
Julia: You, need help.
Priya: I really do.
(In the boys side of the ferocious tout cabin)
Chase: Yo Zee, our team's got some real hotties.
Zee: For sure bro. (Drinks a soda)
Wayne: Well, I'm just gonna say it. Raji and I have got a very good chance at getting with those hotties.
Raj: For sure, eh?
Chase: Ha! Yeah right, jockstraps. I already dated that fine girl Emma on the other team. So I've got a much better chance at getting with one of those hotties.
(Wayne and Raj laugh at Chase)
Wayne: (Brags) Oh please, Raji and I are athletes. And girls dig athletes.
Chase: (Brags) Well I'm a daredevil with a successful live stream. And chicks love guys who are daring and successful a lot more than jocks.
Wayne: Wanna bet on it? Ten bucks says I can get girl on this island before you do.
Chase: Oh, you're on.
(Wayne and Chase shake hands)
Raj: Bet ya ten bucks that Wayne will a girlfriend first.
Zee: Sure dude. (Drinks a soda)
(In the boys side of the Frogs Of Death)
Ripper: Hey! I call dibs on the bed by the window!
Damien: I didn't hear you call it. Do you want the top or the bottom?
Ripper: (Grabs Damien by the collar) I want whichever one you want! Maybe we should fight for it!
Damien: Um, I'm just gonna take a different bed. (Walks off)
Ripper: Yeah, you will.
Ripper: (Confessional) Boom! Nobody messes with an alfalfa male.
(In the girls side of the Frogs of Death cabin)
Bowie: So, your ex. What's up with that?
Emma: I cannot believe Chase is here. This is my competition.
Bowie: Let it out. What did he do to you? Tell me everything.
Emma: I don't want to get into it. Oh! When I win the million, I'm donating half of it to an animal hospital.
Bowie: Aw, that is something I would never do.
(Confessional) Bowie: An alliance starts with two people. I like Emma's vibe. She's athletic and a little spicy. That's who I'm after.
Chris: (Loudspeaker) Hey, campers! It's challenge time!
Chris: Ferocious trout, frogs of death, welcome to your first challenge.
Chef: This challenge is about learning to communicate and trust in your new teammates. Two players from each team will be tied together at the waist and navigate through this course to collect two buckets of disgusting fish chum, then return to the towers and place the buckets on their platform.
Zee: Nice! This sounds super easy.
Chris: Zee's right. It does sound easy. That's why the course is loaded with booby traps.
Wayne: (Chuckles) He said booby traps.
Raj: (Chuckles) Sh! The coach is talking.
Chris: Randomly scattered posts, lobster traps, messy mud puddles, nest of murder hornets, a pit filled with hot coals, and more. These would be all easy to avoid if you weren't blindfolded, which all bucket carriers will be.
Wayne: Blindfolds, makes it hard to see.
Zee: It does. (Drinks soda)
Raj: Hey dude, where'd you get the soda from?
Zee: I have no idea.
Millie: Wow. (Writes in her notebook)
Millie: (Confessional) Anytime someone from my generation says it does something dumb, I make note of it for my research. Ow! My hand is already cramping.
Chef: Each blindfolded duo will rely on the voices of two teammates who, from the top of these towers, will help get them to the buckets and back again safely. Once the buckets are on the platform, the remaining four teammates will carefully raise them to the top of the tower using these pulleys. If they aren't careful, one side will raise higher than the other, their buckets will fall they will lose the challenge.
Chris: The team that wins this challenge will dine on pizza and wings tonight. The losers will be sending someone home. Teams, decide who's doing what. We start in two minutes.
(The Frogs of Death select Bowie and Emma to guide the blindfolded teammates, Ripper and Millie to be blindfolded, and the remaining four to raise the buckets. The Ferocious Trout select Axel and Priya to guide the blindfolded teammates, Chase and Wayne to be blindfolded, and the remaining four to raise the buckets)
Chris: Campers... ..ready... ..set... (Fires at gun in the air)
(Ripper Millie Chase and Wayne start running)
Emma: Straight for eight feet, then go right.
Priya: Straight. Straight. Good. That's it. Now left. Left.
(Wayne runs right but Chase stops him)
Chase: Whoa, whoa, dude! She said left.
Wayne: Her left is our right.
(Wayne and Chase run right)
Axel: Your other left!
(Wayne and Chase run into a lobster trap)
Chase and Wayne: Ow, ow, ow, ow!
Axel: Idiots.
Chris: The frogs of death have the lead.
Emma: Stop! There's a hornet's nest right above you.
Chris: Murder hornets. Don't forget the murder part. It upsets them.
Bowie: Just stay low and keep moving.
(Ripper and Millie duck under the hornets nest but Ripper gets stung by one, and, in response, jumps in pain. However, when he jumps, his head gets stuck in a nest)
Ripper: Ow! Ahh! These thing's got sharp teeth!
Millie: It's their stingers not tee- (Gets stung by the hornets) Ow! Ow!
Priya: Chase, Wayne, move forward at a 45-degree angle.
Wayne: I don't know what that means.
Chase: This way. This way. (Tries to lead both of them forward, however, Wayne trips on a rake)
Wayne: Ouch! (Falls on the ground)
Chase: Dude, get up.
Wayne: I'm up. I'm up.
Chris: Things are evening up.
Ripper: Faster Millie. Faster!
Millie: I'm going as fast as I can.
(Both Ripper and Millie get hit by a rake)
Bowie: Guys, take your time. Remember, slow and steady wins the race.
Emma: Exactly.
Caleb: Nah, we should pick up the pace.
(Bowie, gets infatuated by Caleb)
Bowie: Caleb's right. Move!
Ripper: We are moving! (keeps running, and runs into another rake which hits his groan)
Bowie: Oh.
Chris: Ouch!
Ripper: (Shrieks in pain)
Millie: Are you okay?
Ripper: (High pitched voice) No!
(Meanwhile, Chase and Wayne are infront of a mud puddle)
Priya: There's a mud puddle. You should go around it.
Chase: A mud puddle? I think we'll be f.. (walks into the mud puddle with Wayne)
Chris: Uh-oh. Unlike Julia's social media post, that was deep.
Julia: (sarcastically) You're, like, really funny.
(Chase and Wayne splutter as they crawl out of the mud puddle)
Axel: Both of you idiots get up and keep moves!
Priya: Don't be mean! They could have drowned!
Emma: You got this! Straight forward!
Chase: Thanks for the help, babe.
Emma: I wasn't talking to you! You are doing horrible, and you don't get to call me babe anymore.
Chase: Why are you so mad at me?
Emma: (Angrily shouts) ARE YOU KIDDING?!
(Confessional) Bowie: Ooooo! Here's where we find out what he did! I bet he kissed another girl, one hundred percent! Straight couples, am I right?
Emma: You cut the brakes on my car!
(Confessional) Bowie: Straight couples are mess up.
Chase: You're still mad about the?
Emma: Of course I am. You made me crash into a pet store.
Bowie: You what now?
Priya: Veer right!
Emma: Oh! That's why I'm donating twenty five percent of the million to an animal hospital.
MK: Wait. Wait. Wait. I thought it was half.
Emma: (Mocking) I thought it was half.
Caleb: I'd hate to interrupt, but...
Chris: Chase and Wayne are placing their buckets on the platform.
Bowie: Ripper! Millie! Run!
Ripper: Got it!
(Ripper and Millie run as fast as they could. While the ferocious trout slowly put their buckets up)
Bowie: They're heading right for the hot coals! Guys, wait!
Emma: No, keep running! I'll tell you when you jump.
Millie: What?!
Emma: Jump!
(Ripper and Millie jump but fall on the hot coals, burning themselves causing them to run into the mud puddle, just as Priya and Axel pick up their buckets of the platform and the ferocious trout win)
Chris: The ferocious trout have won the challenge.
(The ferocious trout cheer)
Chef: Ferocious trout, you can head to the dining hall for award feast.
Chris: And Frogs of death, meet me at the campfire pit tonight. One of you is heading home.
(In the dining hall)
(Wayne Raj Chase and Zee were scarfing down whatever pizza they could get, while the girls were eating the wings)
Julia: (Takes a selfie with food) Hashtag, victory pizza and wings.
Scary girl: Would you like a knife to go with your next selfie? (Gives Julia a big smile)
Julia: (Creeped out) Uh, no.
Priya: Uh, Chase. You got some pizza sauce on your face.
Chase: Huh? Where a-bouts?
Priya: (Wipes Chases face with a napkin) There, gone.
Chase: Thanks. Also, you got wing sauce just under your lip. (Wipes the bottom of Priya's lip) There, gone.
Priya: Oh. Thanks.
(Wayne Raj and Zee notice Chase and Priya staring at each other)
Zee: Looks like I'm gonna win the bet dudes.
Wayne: Ha. We'll see about that. Hey Axel...
Axel: Don't even think about it, dummy.
Wayne: (Backs away) Okay. Okay.
(Raj facepalms in embarrassment)
(At the campfire pit)
Chris: Frogs, welcome to the first elimination ceremony of the season. I'm sorry to say that one of you will be heading home. Which one? Don't know.
Chef: Emma, you let your emotions get in the way and it cost your team the challenge.
(Confessional) Emma: Okay, I messed up. Because of Chase! But from now on, my focus is on helping my team win.
Chef: Millie, Ripper risked everything to try and win it, but you slowed him down.
(Confessional) Millie: That's not fair. I tried my best. And I'm built for brains not brawn.
Chris: You've cast your ballots and your votes have been counted. If you get a marshmallow, you're safe. If you do not, your time here is up, and you must immediately leave the island. Let's begin.
Damien.
MK.
Ripper.
Bowie.
Millie.
Chris: You are all safe. The second last marshmallow goes to...
Caleb.
Chris: Emma, Nichelle, there's only one marshmallow remaining. If I do not call your name, you must immediately head to the dock of shame. The final marshmallow goes to...
Emma.
Emma: Yes!
Nichelle: What?!
Chris: Nichelle, time to go.
(At the dock of shame)
Nichelle: I, I don't get it. Look at me. I'm Nichelle Ladonna! How...? Why am I going home? I was the most famous camper here. I'm beautiful, popular. This is garbage! I should go back there and give them a piece of my... (Screams as the Drone of Despair picks her up. Ripper pops out of the bushes, proud of his handiwork)
(Confessional) Ripper: Yep. I might have mentioned to a few people that Nichelle's fame and popularity makes her a huge threat and voting her off now might be our only chance. So everyone else better watch they're backs, cause Ripper is going to destroy everyone and take home the million.
Chris: Wasn't sure how that drone thing was gonna work out, but I like it. What's in store for challenge number two? That's for me to know and you to find out, next time on TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND!