All characters from Twilight belong to Stephanie Meyer. I own nothing except my version of events.

Chapter 6

"You sure you can't come tonight?" Jacob asks, giving me his most puppy dog expression, eyes so wide I can see my own reflection in them.

I giggle, pushing his face away from mine. "I told you I couldn't. I have to meet up with some classmates to start working on our group project." I remind him, though I've been reminding him of that same fact for the past two hours.

He sags into the couch next to me, lifting the blanket I was covering myself with to cover his own face and making a whining noise that takes me back to when we were kids and he'd try to convince me to stay for dinner with his sisters, then too.

I laugh out loud, shaking my head at his absurdity.

It's been a couple of weeks since we've been back home. The pack in La Push were handling the Paul situation a lot better since then. In fact, Sam had called and informed Jacob and Embry to not come back the next following few weekends. And so we'd all been away since we came back from Spring Break. The only reason the guys were heading back now was to spend some time with their sisters who'd arrived earlier this week.

Originally I'd agreed to go too but unfortunately my communication's professor had decided it was a good time to assign group presentations. Three other classmates and I were planning to meet up for the first time this evening to figure out what we wanted our presentation to focus on and to distribute the workload among the four of us. There was no way I could miss it.

"Sorry, bro, but you're going to have to deal with your sisters all on your own." I tease, patting his head like a dog.

He huffs, throwing me a dirty look but doesn't even try to push my hand away nor does he try to convince me any further, slowly resigning himself to his fate.

And it's not that Jacob didn't get along with his sisters. He loved his sisters, and he always looked forward to their yearly visits. What he didn't particularly love was their incessant pestering over he and I's relationship.

Both Rachel and Rebecca were obsessed and utterly confused by our friendship dynamic. They firmly believed we were destined to be together. Every time we tried to convince them otherwise they completely ignored our reasoning, claiming we were just in denial and instead hounding us to admit we were secretly in love with each other.

Personally, I just think they read one too many romance novels.

After so many years of the same thing, I found it actually humorous at this point. I had long since given up convincing them otherwise, which is precisely why Jacob preferred for me to go with. I was the only buffer/mediator between him and his sisters. Embry was always too busy laughing his ass off while unhelpfully adding his own two cents in support of their sister's point of view, gleefully enjoying Jacob's frustration on the matter. Billy and Tiffany weren't any help either, I think they both secretly hoped we would end up together too. Though I don't know why since they were aware of the possibility of imprinting. They never voiced their thoughts on the matter but I could tell they still harbored some hope. And so without me he had a harder time controlling his temper.

Trust me, I wasn't happy I couldn't go either. I would much rather have gone back to La Push with them to hang out with his sisters and the pack, than being stuck here doing school work on a Friday night.

"I'll miss you." He pouts, throwing his arms around me and pulling my side against the center of his chest.

I pat his bicep wrapped around my front. "Me too, bud. Now get out of here or you'll be late! You still have to pick up Embry from class." I chastise, knowing he was only trying to delay the inevitable.

He groans, tightening his arms around me once more before finally letting go. "Fine. I'm going." He grumbles.

I watch him sulkily pick up Embry's duffle bag and his own from beside the door, throwing me a dour look before leaving out the door, heading for the woods to pick up Embry in wolf form before they ran back to La Push together.

I quietly chuckle, shaking my head at his childish display. He could be such a big baby sometimes.

With Jacob now gone I turn my attention back to the T.V. Eventually I get so lost in the current series I'm watching that by the time I check the time again I realize I'm going to be late for the meet up.

I jump off the couch running into my bedroom to change and put on a thicker jumper and jacket. Just looking outside my window I know we'll probably get some heavy rain tonight. Grabbing my satchel I pull it over my shoulder and rush out the front door getting into Jacob's pickup. Since it's Friday night I find parking on campus easily and I head inside the library where we initially agreed to meet. When I make it to the third floor I'm not at all surprised to find my classmates already waiting for me.

"Sorry I'm late guys. I don't even have a legitimate excuse, I just lost track of time."

Julian, who I've had a couple of classes with in the past only chuckles. "Typical Bella."

I hit him with the notebook I'd just pulled out of my bag, "Shut it."

I introduce myself to the two others in the group and we get to work. I'm amazed when we figure out the topic of discussion for the presentation quickly and even more astounded when we all agree on who's in charge of what without a single argument breaking out.

This almost never happens.

After almost three years in college I've had my fair share of group projects and most have been extremely difficult and highly unpleasant. Whoever said two minds were better than one clearly hadn't been involved in many group projects before. I would much rather have done a presentation all on my own than trying to get multiple people to agree on one single thing. This time, however, I got supremely lucky with my team.

Two hours later we were done and packing up our stuff, agreeing to meet within two weeks to make sure we were all holding our weight.

"So since we finished early today, you want to get some dinner together?" Julian casually asks, stuffing his laptop into his backpack. "My roommate is having a girl over and I really don't want to go home right now." He explains, looking so very hopeful.

"Uh, yeah sure. I was just going home anyway. We can take my car if you want to eat off campus." I suggest, knowing most people who lived in the dorms on campus tended to eat at places within walking distance since most didn't own a car. "What do you feel like eating?"

"Actually I was hoping you'd be okay with vegan. There's this new place on 6th I wanted to try out but all of my friends love meat and refuse to go with me. I've been dying to try it since it opened."

"Absolutely, sounds interesting."

"Really?" He asks in happy surprise.

"Yeah, sure. I'm not vegan or vegetarian but I do enjoy meatless meals a couple of times a week. My roommates absolutely hate it. They're big meat eaters."

"Oh right. You're roommates with those two big dude's right?"

I nod, laughing at his description of Embry and Jacob, and pointing towards his truck.

"Yeah."

"I'm surprised they didn't come with you tonight. You guys are usually together, aren't you?" He asks, climbing into the truck.

"Yeah, but they went back home this weekend and I couldn't join them thanks to this group thing." I share, turning the key to the ignition and driving towards downtown.

"Sorry we ruined your plans."

"It's fine." I say with a shrug. "We were just there during spring break, I'm sure I'm not missing anything exciting. Not that anything remotely exciting ever happens in small towns." I chuckle, though I internally realize how absurdly wrong that statement had been when almost all my friends were supernatural shapeshifters.

"I know what you mean," He starts, speaking while his phone gives us directions. "I come from a small town too. The most exciting thing to happen growing up was when they bought new Christmas decorations for the town square."

I laugh loudly at that. He was so right. When I was thirteen, Forks opened up their first Chinese take-out and the town had basically thrown a parade in their honor. By the time I left Forks that summer I'd tried every single item in their menu. Twice.

We get to the restaurant and the flow of conversation never dissipates. I discover Julian was heavily into art but majored in criminal justice hoping to get into law school to make some actual money, turning his artistic abilities into a simple hobby. Which is how we spent the next two hours at dinner, discussing the pros and cons of law schools we were both interested in applying to. It was nice to have someone to talk about it with for a change.

We leave the restaurant when we notice it's already starting to sprinkle outside and I'd expressed earlier I wanted to make it home before the rain got any heavier. To no avail because by the time I drop Julian off at the dorms it's already pouring rain outside.

He stops to throw my a parting wave before entering through the double doors of his building, not bothered at all with the rain pelting down on him, making the long strands of his dark hair to plaster onto his head. I smile at the gesture. It was a breath of fresh air to talk to people who weren't involved with the supernatural.

I drive a bit slower as I head back home. It was almost ten and it was dark out, the heavy rain not helping to make the drive any easier. I park in the driveway and get out, clutching my bag under my jacket so I won't get my laptop wet while I jog to the front door. I push the key into the deadbolt, halting when I hear rustling just to the side of the house. I'm momentarily tempted to check it out but ultimately decide against it, dismissing it as a possum looking for a dry place to settle in for the night during the downpour.

I briskly open the door and hurry inside to get out of the rain. I place my bag on the couch and remove my now wet jacket, hanging it on the coat hanger by the door. I remove my boots next and place them on the mat next to the entrance to prevent drips on the hardwood floor. I flip the light switches as I go, walking into the kitchen to make a cup of tea to bring some warmth back into my body. I'm reaching for the tea kettle when there's a sudden pounding at the door.

I jump in place, startled by the abrupt sound. Hesitantly I near the door again, peeking through the peephole to see who it is.

At first I don't recognize what I'm seeing and I stupidly realize the porch light isn't on. I turn it on, making out a hard tanned chest on the other side of the door, the man too tall for me to see his face through the peephole. For a second I think it might be Jacob, but it couldn't be him, Jacob had a key, not to mention he was a lot broader than the slightly slimmer figure outside.

"Bella." The rough voice whispers, sounding so ragged with emotion.

Jacob would not be happy if he found out I opened the door for someone I don't immediately recognize, especially if he wasn't here, but if the person knew my name then I figured it had to be someone I already knew. Though, I'm still hesitant to open it.

But when the same rough voice brokenly whispers, "Bella, I need you" hard enough for me to hear over the rain and through the wooden door. I swing it open without another thought.

"Paul?!" I practically exclaim in surprise, not just at the person standing in front of me but also because I immediately take in the physical state he's in.

Paul is absolutely naked, looking torn up as hell, and not just physically but mentally as well.

I usher him inside, closing the door behind him and guiding him to the couch. "Oh my god, are you okay?"

He doesn't respond to my question, instead he drops down to the couch, a relentless shiver taking over his form. He leans his elbows onto his knees and covers his face with his hands.

"Wait here, I'll get you some towels and a blanket." I say quickly, watching his dripping form quickly soaking my couch.

He still doesn't respond so I let him be while I quickly gather the necessary items to dry him. I reach into the top shelf of the hallway closet, collecting a couple of towels and then running into my bedroom to grab the throw I like to use whenever I read on the couch.

I make my way back into the living room, finding Paul in the same position I had left him in. Worried, I cautiously move forward, placing a towel over his shoulders so he can dry himself.

When he still doesn't move I take matters into my own hands, grabbing the towel and drying his hair and then the top half of his body. As I move the towel over his back I notice the numerous scrapes running down along his skin, and along his arms and sides too. They're no longer bleeding but they still looked fresh, the scabs barely forming over the exposed flesh. I dab the towel lightly over the broken skin.

Paul doesn't flinch nor show he's even aware of what I'm doing. I know they had super healing but I wasn't aware they were immune to pain as well. Although watching the state he's in I can only assume it must be the emotional turmoil going on that's causing him to ignore the physical pain.

Once the towel becomes soaked through I grab the other one I'd brought to dry the rest of him, finding more scrapes along his legs too. I avoid touching any intimate parts he wouldn't want me to, sticking to the areas I'm comfortable going near.

Finally drying him up as best as I can I grab the throw and wrap it around his shoulders, tucking him inside in the hopes he'll stop shivering.

I kneel on the floor in front of him, looking up at his unresponsive form. Trying again I ask, "Paul? Are you okay?"

I almost release a sigh in relief when his hands finally move away from his face, holding on to the ends of the throw and pressing them against his nose.

"It smells like you." He says softly, hiding his face in the fabric.

"In a good way, I hope." I say just as softly, worried that if I said it any louder he would go unresponsive again.

"I like how you smell." He whispers lowly, his words coming out muffled through the fluffy fabric.

I barely distinguish the words, not sure if he'd meant for me to actually hear them or not. I stay where I am, trying to decide on the best way to handle the situation.

Since I was last in La Push, I hadn't heard a single word from Paul. I'd asked Embry and Jake if they'd checked in with the pack since we'd left and they'd said Leah and Jared had taken up training duties. Apparently he was doing much better. He'd finally accepted his wolf and according to Leah, Paul was finally becoming comfortable in his own skin again.

Still, I didn't know Paul much, nor could we be considered friends. So him showing up in this manner had me unsure of how to proceed next.

"Paul," I tentatively whisper again after another long pause of silence, "you're starting to scare me." I finally admit.

Hearing my concern he finally lifts his head.

What I see makes me suck in a sharp breath.

He looks absolutely wrecked, his eyes swollen and bloodshot. He has scrapes all along his cheeks and forehead too, a visible bump on his right temple, thankfully the cuts aren't that deep but he looks a real mess. It almost seems as though he'd crashed into every tree as he ran here in wolf form. At least that's the only conclusion I could come up with, considering he showed up at my doorstep completely naked.

I lift my hand, tracing underneath a long gash he had right underneath his left eye, one centimeter higher and he would've gouged an eye out.

"What's going on?" I ask softly, worry overtaking me. "You can tell me. I promise I won't tell anyone if you don't want me to." I offer, soothingly caressing his face.

He grabs onto my wrist and I stop, my eyes riveted to his. He opens his mouth and whispers, "I–" He pauses and swallows hard, blinking at me as though he's trying to focus before trying again. "I didn't want it to happen to me… I just got used to the wolf and now– I can't–"

I frown even deeper, concerned more than ever when I see Paul just struggling to communicate. "Can't what?"

"I can't go back. I don't want to go back. I can't see–" He closes his eyes again, squeezing them tightly. When he opens them again his eyes are glossy with unshed tears. "But I can feel it already… I don't know how long I can manage to stay away from her."

Oh, crap.

"From who?" I tentatively ask, already suspecting what has happened.

He rapidly blinks to keep the tears at bay, his eyes rising to stare at the roof. "My imprint." He finally admits through gritted teeth.

"Oh." I mutter stupidly, but really I had no idea what to say to that. To me imprinting sounded like a dream come true but I knew most of the wolf pack didn't view imprinting the same way.

He looks back down at me then, his eyes sending a clear message that my response was not at all what he'd expected. He ignores it though and shakes his head. "I don't want it." he says stubbornly, shaking his head as if he could convince himself it's not real. "I don't want her." He clarifies, looking deep into my eyes as if trying to communicate vital information.

I remain silent for a moment, thinking of what to say. I don't really know what to say, nothing I did would make it any better. "Who is she? I mean, not that it really matters... If the spirits chose her specifically for you then she's your perfect mat–"

"It's Jacob's sister." He blurts out, effectively cutting me off.

"Oh." I say again, shutting my mouth, eyes wide in shock.

"Yeah, 'Oh'."

Woah… out of everything he could have said, I had not expected him to say that. Then remembering that one of Jacob's sisters is married with two kids I ask, "Which one?"

"Rachel."

I release the breath I'd unknowingly been holding. "At least it's not Becca the married one with two kids." I reason, hoping it would make him see the upside of the situation.

Paul scoffs derisively, "Lucky me."

I silently watch him staring down at his hands. I think for the first time realizing how much damage he'd done to his body. His nails were chipped and cracked with blood thickly crusted underneath. The top of his hands full of scrapes and bloody gashes.

"I'm sorry." I say simply, not having anything else to add. There was nothing I could do or say to make it any better.

"Me too." He says softly, still staring down at his ravaged hands.

"Why don't you stay the night?" I suggest, hoping that some time away from La Push would help him think more clearly tomorrow. The last time this happened it had helped so maybe this time it would too. "Take some time away from the pack and the reservation while you get your mind straight. You can sleep in Embry's room and maybe tomorrow you'll feel better."

He only nods, his head lifting up to look back at me with a dead stare that penetrates into my soul.

"Look, if there's anything I can do to make it any better let me know and I'll–"

I'm cut off when Paul suddenly throws himself at me, pressing his lips hard against mine. My eyes widen, not having expected that reaction at all.

Paul groans deep in his throat, and not in a sexy way either. He sounds more in pain than anything else. It doesn't deter him though. He pushes harder against me, grasping the back of my head to prevent my escape and coaxing my mouth to open.

I don't respond.

He has an imprint. He's already found his soulmate.

It would be so unfair to her if I reciprocated. If she ever found out that Paul ran away from her and straight into the arms of another, it would absolutely wreck her. So I push against his chest, trying to get him to release me.

At first he doesn't stop, but at my insistence he pulls slightly away while still keeping his hands where they are. His eyes are pained but pleading, a deep seeded grief that grips my heart and makes me hesitate, hating to see that look in his eyes.

"Please." He pleads, his voice wavering with emotion. "I just– I just need to see if I can…"

I bite my lip, worried about his request.

It still doesn't feel right. His request is misplaced, consumed with a desperation in him that's searching for any way to escape this unwanted fate, yet again. It's impossible to do so. We all know that. He cannot escape the imprinting no matter how hard he wishes he could. Not that he should. Sam and Jared had fallen to the imprint and they've never been happier than they are now.

But the look in Paul's eyes and the trembling of his hands signaling the possibility of an oncoming nervous breakdown unraveling before my eyes makes me actually reconsider his request. His eyes are still pleading, those deep brown irises displaying how utterly helpless he feels. Begging me to help him, to give him any semblance of hope. And though I know it's wrong, I inevitably give in.

I break the space between us and press my lip to his. This time when he glides his tongue along the seam of my lips I open up to him.

He delves in deep, groaning again in pain as if it physically hurts him to kiss me. It doesn't stop him. If anything it makes him try harder, his tongue delving deeper into my mouth savagely pulling what he wants from me.

And I don't know if it's the situation, the forbiddenness of the moment, the absolute unexpected surprise of Paul seeking me out, out of everyone he knows. But suddenly I ignite into flames, grasping onto his biceps and without meaning to, moaning into his mouth.

His breath hitches for a second before releasing a deep, wanting, moan into my own mouth. This time sounding as if he's absolutely tortured, but maybe not in a bad way. His hands slide down from the back of my head, wrapping themselves underneath my arms to haul me off the floor. He pulls me onto his lap, kissing me almost desperately now. His hands glide almost desperately along my body, trying to touch every inch of me before it's too painful to continue.

I can feel his whole body shaking underneath me, still muttering in pain but his body reacting in a positive way. And even though he seems like he's physically hurting at our connection, he forcefully grabs onto my hips and pushes me down against his, his own hips lifting up towards me seeking me out.

I release a gasp into his mouth, feeling his bare erection against my jean covered sex. My body comes alive on its own and I grind into him, grabbing onto his shoulders to find purchase. In that moment I wish we had nothing between us, nothing stopping him from thrusting deep inside of me. Finally sharing that desperation he's been drowning in as my body searches for more than just the feel of his hardened erection against my most sensitive flesh.

Paul lets out a growl mixed in with a painful groan, seeming to be enthralled by his stiff erection rubbing against my covered sex. But slowly his stiffening form starts shaking, so in contrast to what the rest of his body is doing, completely engaged in feeling me against him. Until eventually a deep groan falls out of his mouth transforming into a deep whine forcing him to finally pull away from me. His chest heaving as if he'd just run a marathon.

His eyes blaze a green color as he watches me, the orbs gliding over my heated flesh and taking every part of me as if analyzing and memorizing every detail.

That look does something to me. And I'm momentarily confused by the strange emotion lying somewhere in between fear and desire. It tightens my belly, my breath stuttering for a moment as I try to swallow the sudden dryness in my mouth. I'm itching for more, for him to keep touching me, for his hands to purposefully take my clothes off. To feel his hard as steel cock filling me up and thrusting hard enough to take my common sense fly away. Nothing would be better.

His eyes suddenly squeeze shut and he shakes his head.

I'm released from the overpowering connection his wolf's eyes had entrapped me in, my body coming back to the real world and my mind working to force those feelings away. My heart and lungs beating wildly as they're finally released to work again.

Without opening his eyes he drops his forehead against my own heaving chest. For a moment we sit in silence until he brokenly whispers, "I'm sorry."

Waiting to catch my breath I run my fingers along his hair, trying to soothe him and calm his trembling. "It's okay." I say, breathing through my nose and hoping my heart would stop trying to burst out of my chest, though I know nothing about this is okay.

I'm confused as hell. It's like my body had lost control, doing what it wanted without allowing any thoughts to penetrate its lust-filled haze, like my mind no longer governed power over my body. It shocks me to my core. I've never felt that with anyone before, not even Jacob, I have always willing given him control over me. Trusting him to take care of me because I knew he could. With Paul it had been different, it was more like he had taken my control without even asking. The scariest part of it all was that I'd willingly given it to him, not questions asked, no hesitation, as if my body had intrinsically known even before my mind had been able to process a single thing. And what the hell did that even mean?

We're both silent as we remain in the same position, Paul sitting on the couch as I straddle his lap, his head against my chest while my fingers had unconsciously brushed soothingly through his hair throughout. Slowly his trembling dissipates and my heart stops pounding, settling into a serene, peaceful rhythm again.

Once we're both settled I finally pull away completely. We needed to end this moment, to stop sharing anything close to intimacy that we were not allowed to have between us. Not when he shouldn't be here at all to begin with.

He watches me with wary eyes, and for a second it seems as though he's almost unwilling to let me go, but he relents, releasing his grip on me and allowing me to stand.

When I'm finally on my feet I extend my hand down to him. "Come on." I coax. "I'll find you some clothes from Embry to wear before you go to sleep."

He stares at me for a long, stunted moment before he takes my hand, his fingers sliding in between mine and standing up without question. He silently walks with me to Embry's bedroom while arranging the throw I'd given him to wrap around his waist with one hand, seeming almost reluctant to let go of my hand.

I flip the light switch on and practically pry my hand out of his, moving to dig through Embry's drawers hoping to find some clean clothes for Paul to wear.

"Here." I say handing him the stack of clothes. "These look clean. If they're too small I can get some of Jacob's instead."

He slightly scrunches his nose in disgust at the idea but mutely nods his head as I step around him, closing the door behind me without a glance back and heading into my own bedroom.

It isn't until I'm lying in bed minutes later, staring up at the ceiling that I realize what the hell I've just done. I throw my hands over my face, stopping myself from crying in shame over what I'd just let happen.

I shouldn't have let him kiss me, and I sure as hell shouldn't have practically dry-humped him on my couch.

What the hell was I thinking?!

I wasn't.

That's the problem.

I shouldn't have let him stay. I should have sent him packing, sent him to find solace somewhere that was nowhere near me. He was still too close for comfort, too close in proximity after what we had just done. I should have been using my head instead of my heart. I shouldn't have let his own pain and suffering sway my common sense. I knew better. But I'd been so overwhelmed watching the pain and devastation on his face that I would have given him anything he'd asked for at that moment. He'd just looked so broken… so desperate. Like he had no way out. It had tugged at my heartstrings, wanting to do anything to fix his inner turmoil.

It's not a good enough excuse though. I'd been stupid. I'd let myself get caught up in the moment not stopping to think about the repercussions of my actions. Now that I was alone and thinking clearly, I could see what a big mistake I had made. And now I could only hope that what just happened between us, would stay between us.

No one needed to find out.

They wouldn't, right?

… At least, I hoped not…