Vlad the Impaler: The Wallachian prince who fought a brutal campaign against the Ottoman Empire, leaving over 100,000 people impaled in the end.
(Vlad is shown fighting alongside his men in the forest and slicing a man's throat open with his kilij, then licking his blood from the blade.)
vs
Hernán Cortés: The Spanish Conquistador who destroyed the Aztec Empire for gold and glory.
(Cortes is seen leading his conquistadors into battle, he decapitates an Aztec with his Espada Ropera.)
WHO IS DEADLIEST?
To find out, we've assembled a team of world class fighters to test history's most lethal weapons. Using 21stcentury science, we'll see what happens when two warriors go toe to toe.
No rules. No safety. No mercy. It's a duel to the death to decide who is…THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!
Here in our elite fight club we have gathered doctors, medical scientists and weapons experts to test out the lethal arsenals wielded by each of our combatants to determine who would win a fight between two warriors who never met in a face to face duel:
Vlad the Impaler
Circa: 1462 A.D.
Age: 31
Height: 5' 9"
Weight: 170 lbs.
Armor: Steel Helmet, Riveted Chainmail w/Steel Plate Panels, Heater Shield
Hernán Cortés:
Circa: 1521
Age: 36
Height: 5'4"
Weight: 135 lbs.
Armor: Morion Helmet, Steel Breastplate
"This is truly an interesting battle." Richard "Mack" Machowicz started, "On one hand; you have a guy who ended the Aztec empire and on the other, you have a guy who inspired one of the most enduring horror tales in all of literature."
"I'm siding with Vlad the Impaler in this fight," biomedical scientist Geoff Desmoulin started, "When I think of Vlad, I think of all the bloodshed associated with his infamous name. People being impaled on stakes would be the first mental image that comes to mind for me and I think it won't be any different once Cortes crosses his path."
"I'm siding with Cortes." Trauma doctor Armand Dorian countered. "He has the better armor, better firearm and he will see Vlad as just some pest and nothing more."
Born to the future voivode Vlad II Dracul, following his father's ouster from power in 1442, the young Vlad and his brother would be sold as hostages to the Ottoman court. Enduring intensive physical abuse, it was believed the hardship he went through would mold the future 'Impaler' into the brutal menace he would later become.
"He learned early on that in order to fight his enemies effectively, he would have to be just as brutal as them. His own captors trained him in warfare and it would later on come back to bite them in the butt," Mack started out.
Vlad would grow into a ruthless tyrant who was estimated to have had between 40,000 and 100,000 killed during his lifetime. Some of his more infamous alleged exploits include dining before his impaled victims and dipping his bread in their blood, forcing parents to eat the boiled remnants of their own children, and having two Turkish ambassadors' turbans nailed to their heads when they refused to remove them during a meeting.
"His cruelty has lived on for centuries and it would eventually give Bram Stoker the much needed inspiration he needed to write his opus 'Dracula.' He was merciless, a bit insane and showed no pity to those who crossed him. He became known as 'the Prince of Darkness' and in the end it was said not even Hell would want him."
The brutal tyrant brings with him an assortment of brutal weapons in preparation for the grand finale:
Short Range: Kilij
Mid Range: Halberd
Long Range: Arbalest
Special: Hand Cannon
Today, the impaler goes up against an equally cruel opponent, one who ended the largest empire in Central America.
Born in Medellin, Spain in 1485, Hernan Cortes attended the University of Salamanca when he was 14. He left two years after hearing stories of the new world. He left for the new world in 1504 and several years later, participated in the conquest of Cuba and Hispaniola, receiving a large estate of land and slaves.
"His objective was to find the gold. He defeated the natives at Tabasco, Mexico in 1519 and in two years, ended the Aztec Empire. When he died, his body was moved to Mexico but due to fears of being desecrated, his body was constantly moved, hell, his body today is protected by the Mexican government. Vlad truly has a fight on his hands." Mack concludes.
The brutal conquistador conquerors the Aztecs with a lethal arsenal.
Short Range: Espada Ropera
Mid Range: Alabarda
Long Range: Crossbow
Special: Arquebus
Both men came equipped with brutal swords that served them well on the frontlines. Vlad comes equipped with a single-edged Turkish saber.
"The kilij was a weapon Vlad would learn to use while held in captivity," weapons maker Dave Baker started, "It was single-edged steel blade that was 3 feet in length and weighed 3 pounds. In addition to its deep curve, it also came equipped with a flaring tip known as a 'yelman' that added weight to the tip so it would swing with greater momentum."
"Damn, I'm getting scared just looking at that sword," Dr. Dorian remarked as Vlad expert Vaclav Havlik tested its sharpness and then went for a few practice swings.
"Alright Vaclav, we want to see what this sword can do against bare skin and an armored opponent. We've got two targets set up for you," Geoff said motioning to the targets, the first a suspended pig carcass and the second a ballistic gel torso outfitted in Cortes's helmet and body armor, "All you've gotta do now is show us what that can do."
"You got it," Vaclav nodded.
"High speeds up, Vaclav are you ready?" Geoff called out.
"Hell yeah," Vaclav shouted back.
"On 3…2…1, slice 'em and dice 'em!"
Vaclav charged for the pig and shot his blade downward, slicing through the pig's lower half and sending it falling to the floor below with a sick splat, then going for a second slash that cut another large portion of the pig off, then a third which chopped its head off and then the last to split what remained of it in two, while the panelists cheered in the background
With the pig in pieces, Vaclav charged for the armored torso and brought the blade down on its helmet, leaving a small dent. He went for a low swipe and slashed at the armor, only leaving a dent.
"My god, you totally destroyed that pig!" Dr. Dorian said observing the carnage before making his way over to the armored torso to assess the damage, "With the blow to the head you failed to penetrate for any serious damage, but there is a possibility you man generate enough force to stun your opponent. With your blow to the armor, there was greater force due to the weight of the tip and with it a chance that you may have broken a rib or two."
The Espada Ropera, which greatly resembles the Toledo Rapier from the Ottoman Janissary vs Conquistador episode, the team reviews the tape from said weapon's testing and decide which gets the edge.
"This is a tough choice." Geoff starts off. "Both are incredible blades and the Espada no doubt will puncture Vlad's chainmail portions in his armor, but the Kilij can't do much against Cortes's, I might have to call it even."
"I'll give it to the kilij." Dorian said. "I have never seen a sword cut through flesh since the katana and with that, if Vlad can strike Cortes by his neck, he is all good to go. Edge kilij."
"I agree with doc." Mack said. Even with the ropera's length, Vlad's sword hits with so much more force thanks to the weighted tip and causes crazy amounts of trauma. Edge kilij."
In short range weapons, Vlad takes the edge with the kilij.
Coming up, both side will reveal their lethal polearms and then later, two of history's cruelest butchers face off.
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Now the time has come for both sides to reveal their polearms, since we already tested both before in previous episodes, we will only test to see which is more effective at penetrating each other's armor.
Vaclav and Cortes Expert Jason Heck both stood with their polearms at the ready.
"Okay guys, for this test, we will just need to see if your weapons can do anything against each other's armor, simple enough?" Geoff says.
"You got it." Both experts said.
Vaclav swings the axe head of his halberd at the torso wearing Cortes' armor, leaving an impressive dent. He then swings the hook end into the armor, piercing it. He finishes with a thrust with the pike, the entire pike going through.
Jason attacked his inanimate target wearing Vlad's chainmail and with a swing of his alabarda 's axe head at the chainmail, busting through it and cutting into the chest. He then swings the hook and pierces a steel plate and withdraws and thrusts the pike into the belly going all the way through.
Doctor Dorian walks over to inspect the damage.
"Alright, I'm seeing the same degree of damage for both of you guys, first up, the halberd swing managed to leave a dent and will break a rib or two, the hook pierced and managed to cut his skin, nothing serious, but the pike went all the way through into the heart, instant kill."
"For the alabarda, same thing basically, your swing managed to cut through some of the mail and cut his skin underneath, the hook like Vlad's cut into the skin, nothing more, but the pike went through his heart, another instant kill."
Both polearms have shown their armor piercing capabilities, which gets the edge?
"This is too even, both are essentially the same weapons except one has the greater reach, this is even." Geoff started off.
"Same, the alabarda has the range advantage because of its pike, but other than that, they're the same weapons. Edge even." Dorian said.
"I'm in full agreement with you guys, edge even." Mack concluded.
In mid ranged weapons, both warriors are dead even.
Coming up, we will test both warrior's long ranged arsenal and later, two firearms go head to head.
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Now the time has come for both warriors to show off their long ranged weapons. Vlad will be first with his arbalest.
"The arbalest was an improvement over early wooden crossbows that came equipped with steel components," Dave explained, "The stock was 18 inches in length with a bow that spanned 24 to 38 inches in width and had variations that could weigh up to 18 pounds, yet this one only weighs 6. It required the use of a windlass to respan the bow, requiring a pull weight of up to 600 pounds. Compared to its wooden forefather, it had longer range, better armor penetration capabilities, and could be used as a club at close range when the user ran out of bolts."
"We have seen the crossbow before hut this is the improved version. We want to see what it can do against an armored opponent." Geoff said.
Vaclav nodded and got into position, taking aim on the armored torso.
"On 3…2…1, open fire!" Geoff called out.
Vaclav squeezed the trigger and the arrow shot towards the breastplate bouncing off the steel surface and only leaving a small dent. Undeterred, Vaclav reached for his second bolt and began turning the windlass to respan the arrow.
"Oh my, that reload time is killing him." Mack said.
Vaclav eventually managed to get the crossbow reloaded and took aim, firing his second bolt and catching the target right beneath its left eye, a spray of stage blood following the strike. Reaching for his third bolt, he went to work twisting the windlass.
"This is ridiculous, this is embarrassing." Dorian commented.
Getting his third bolt loaded, Vaclav raised the crossbow and fired, catching his target in the throat.
"Time!" Geoff called out again looking down to his stopwatch, "You averaged a reload time of 21 seconds with each reload. That is not good at all," he said
Dr. Dorian went over to assess the damage.
I'm seeing you failed to pierce the armor with your first shot, no kill there," Dr. Dorian said before moving higher and removing the bolts, "Your second shot got this man just below the eye and your third shot got him right in the dead center of his windpipe, those are both going to be kills right there. Altogether you've got one blocked and two kills."
The team reviews the crossbow resting from Rajput vs Knight, even though it lacks the power of the arbalest, it will have no problem puncturing the chainmail portions of Vlad's armor which is similar to the Rajput's.
"Obvious edge here you guys, Cortes' crossbow all the way." Geoff started.
"Yeah, Vlad's crossbow did not achieve any penetration to Cortes' armor while Cortes can easily hit Vlad in his armor's weaker points, edge crossbow." Dorian said.
"Agreed, Vlad will be full of arrows when he is through reloading that thing, edge crossbow." Mack concluded.
In long range weapons, Cortes takes the edge with the crossbow.
Coming up, both leaders fire at each other with their respective firearms, then later, Mack will gauge the x factors of both butchers to see who is deadliest!
XXXX
It is time for special weapons as both warriors fire their signature firearms, Vlad will be first with his.
"I bring the hand cannon," Vaclav said raising his primitive firearm for all to see, "This is black powder technology in its infancy, very small and very light. It was the most powerful weapon of its day and could even pierce plate armor. It fired a .50 caliber ball round and was fired via a smoldering match, stick or a piece of coal. If your round was expended and an enemy was closing in on you, it also came equipped with a spike that allowed it to double as a melee weapon."
"Alright, we will test that weapon on a torso wearing Cortes' steel breastplate, up to the challenge." Geoff says.
"Sure thing." Vaclav said
Vaclav held the lit match to the cannon's powder hole, ignited it and fired a round that went sailing through a panel of the armored target's abdomen. Loading his second shot, he fired at the armor against hitting it above where the first round hit. He then runs up to the target and swings the spike into the armor going through.
"Pretty cool." Mack commented
Dr. Dorian walks up to check the damage.
"Alright, these two shots you have to the armor hit the aorta and heart, Both of those are instant kills alone and with your swing to the armor, you managed to cut into his skin."
We have already tested the Arquebus before against similar armor. The team reviews the testing from Ottoman Janissary vs Conquistador and come to an easy decision.
"I'm with the arquebus." Geoff starts. Faster reload time, range, better technology."
"I'm with you, the hand cannon even with the spike option, was black powder technology in its infancy, the matchlock was what replaced it in armies. Edge arquebus." Dorian said.
"Vlad will not be getting close to Cortes to even use the melee option, edge Arquebus." Mack concludes.
In special weapons, Cortes takes the edge with the arquebus.
Coming up, our panelists gauge the X-factors of each warrior and then after that, we finally have our battle to determine who is THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!
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And now Mack will gauge the X-factors of each warrior.
"We will first start out with psychological health. Both men were very cruel to their enemies but we gave the edge to Cortes because Vlad was a sadist suffering from porphyria. Cortes was psycho himself but takes this with a 72 to Vlad's 66."
"Up next is physicality. Cortes takes it because he operated in much harsher climates and wore heavier armor. He gets an 88 to Vlad's 83."
"Next is strategy. Both men fought enemies who severely outnumbered them and both used their men wisely. Both men are given an 84 each."
"Logistics is another key factor here and while Vlad was good with his resources, Cortes gets it due to bringing down an empire. He gets a 93 to Vlad's 80."
"Lastly, we have generalship. Both men were fierce warriors who fought alongside their men. But Vlad gets the edge here because Cortes had to burn ships to keep his men from deserting him. Vlad gets an 86 to Cortes with a 77."
Our scientists and weapons experts are done testing the results and the time has come to decide who will be the victor. To ensure the battle won't be decided by a single lucky blow, the battle will be simulated one thousand times in a duel to the death.
Who will win a battle between two of history's cruelest butchers?
This battle will be fought in a 5-on-5 encounter where Vlad the Impaler will be accompanied by 4 wallachian foot soldiers and Hernan Cortes will be accompanied by 4 conqiustadors, all soldiers of whom will be wearing the same armor and carrying the same weaponry as their leaders.
"In the end there can be only one. Let's find out," Mack said.
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It is a dreary, eerie, chilly gray day in the Wallachian countryside. Hernan Cortes and four of his conquistadors are walking through the forest. There has been rumors of a madman in the area impaling people.
Cortes: 5
They continue walking as fogs builds up. They soon exit out the forest and come across a sight unlike any they have ever seen. Hundreds of impaled corpses along a path leading up to a castle. Cortes tells his men to be on alert.
Suddenly, two Wallachian foot soldiers walk out of the forest as well and see the conquistadors.
Vlad: 5
They quietly load up their arbalests and aim at the conquistadors, with a pull of the trigger, the bolts go flying and one conquistador is hit in the side of his head while the other bolt flies harmlessly past Cortes.
Cortes: 4 - Vlad: 5
Cortes looks and sees the Wallachians reloading their crossbows. He then raises his espada ropera and orders his men to fire. Two conquistadors load their crossbow and fire back. One Wallachian takes a bolt to his eye while the other gets hit in the arm.
Cortes: 4 - Vlad: 4
Another rustle is heard from right behind the conquistadors and they turn to see two more Wallachian soldiers ambush them with hand cannons. They open fire and a conquistador is hit in his face while the other round grazes his colleague's morion helmet.
Cortes: 3 - Vlad: 4
Cortes orders his men to split up to try to get in their own one on one confrontations. A conquistador and Wallachian go face to face. The Wallachian attempts to swing his kilij at the conquistador's neck, but he thrusts his alabarda into the foot soldier's chest before he could even swing.
Cortes: 3 - Vlad: 3
He turns around to see another Wallachian charing at him with a halberd. Both engage in a duel and match each other move for move. The conquistador's head is suddenly decapitated from behind. His headless body slumps to the ground in a spray of blood. Standing over the corpse is the prince of darkness licking the blood off his blade. Vlad had now joined the battle.
Cortes: 2 - Vlad: 3
Vlad and his man go to find the remaining spaniards and come across a conquistador who had ran off into the woods. He spots the Vlad and the Wallachian soldier and aims his arquebus. Upon seeing the spaniard aiming his weapon, they quickly hide behind a tree just as the spaniard fired his gun. The round harmlessly embedding itself in the tree. The spaniard cautiouslly walks up to the tree with his ropera drawn and looks behind it. Nothing. He turns around when suddenly the Wallachian swings the hand cannon's spike into his eye.
Cortes: 1 - Vlad: 3
Cortes is then seen dueling with the wounded Wallachian. They exchange blows and are evenly matched. The Wallachian tackles Cortes to the ground and raises his kilij high to chop into Cortes' face, but Cortes sticks his finger into the Wallachian's wound causing him to yell and fall off of him. Cortes gets up and with the Wallachian on the ground clutching his wound from earlier, tries to swing his kilij at Cortes' legs but his swing is weak and with that, his life is ended when Cortes brings the espada ropera down onto his face.
Cortes: 1 - Vlad: 2
Cortes hears rustling and turns to see Vlad and his last man charging him. He quickly grabs an alabarda from his dead conquistador and quickly swings the hook end into the charging foot soldied's chest and knocks him downward. With the alabarda's ridiculously long pike, impales him through the stomach and twists it, killing the Wallachian as he screams before going limp.
Cortes: 1 - Vlad: 1
Vlad only laughed at his soldier's demise and draws his heater shield. Both men approach each other and assume battle stances. Cortes would strike first by using his alabarda's hook end to try and wrestle the heater shield away from Vlad. Vlad resists and upon seeing that the shield is almost out of his grip, tosses it at Cortes and charges swinging his kilij wildly at the Spaniard. One swing cuts the alabarda in half and Vlad eventually manages to cut Cortes in the cheek and swings the kilij overhead and hits him in the helmet.
Vlad licks Cortes' blood off his kilij and swings violently again. Cortes tried to parry the swings but this time ends up getting cut in his arm and yells in pain. Vlad, feeling cocky now that he is going to claim another victim, continues with his violent swinging.
Cortes eventually parries a swing from the kilij and swings his espada ropera and catches Vlad in the side breaking a rib. Vlad ignores the pain and picks up a halberd stashed behind a nearby tree and swings it at Cortes. The axe head managing to hit him square in the chest denting his armor. Cortes is frustrated and waits for Vlad to make his next move. Vlad thrusts his halberd and Cortes spins around it and with his ropera, stabs straight through Vlad's armor and into his stomach.
Vlad screams in pain and drops his halberd and tries to unsheath his kilij, but Cortes cuts his arm off and kicks him to the ground. Vlad yells at his stump, turns to look at Cortes and spits in his face. He then begins laughing maniacally and with that, Cortes thrusts his espada ropera into Vlad's chest, going straight through his armor and piercing his heart, ending the prince of darkness's life.
Cortes: 1 - Vlad: 0
He withdraws his sword and raises it in the air and yells 'Victoria!"
XXXX
Winner: Hernan Cortes
Hernan Cortes: 522
Espada Ropera: 102
Alabarda: 201
Crossbow: 56
Arquebus: 163
Vlad the Impaler: 478
Kilij: 309
Halberd: 122
Arbalest: 5
Hand Cannon: 42
In a close battle between two of history's cruelest leaders, Hernan Cortes narrowly wins. His arquebus greatly outperforming the hand cannon and his crossbow being easier to reload. His armor also proved to be a saving grace in the end. Vlad did have to deadliest weapon with his kilij, which scored over 300 kills.
"Hernan won because he was much more rational, he had the superior armor and firearm, plus his crossbow could reload much faster than Vlad's and he was often times able to outshoot Vlad. Vlad did have the deadliest weapons with his kilij." Geoff says.
(Cortes is seen walking to Vlad's castle, the kilij in hand, he has now claimed Vlad's castle and will make sure it belongs in his possession and is sure there is much gold to be taken from it.)
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Next time on 'Deadliest Warrior' it's Back for Blood!
We will have all our current victors battle it out to see who will triumph!
Samurai vs. Roman Legionary
Mongol vs. Knight
Viking vs. Celt
Apache vs. Hawaiian Koa
Mughal Warrior vs. Highlander
Aztec Eagle Knight vs. Germanic Ghost Warrior
Ottoman Janissary vs. Landsknecht Doppelsoldner
After that, our defeated warriors will be given a chance at redemption!
Zulu vs. Gladiator
Zande vs. Cheyenne Dog Soldier
Spartan vs. Rajput
Aztec Jaguar vs. Hashashin
English Longbowman vs. Roman Centurion
French Musketeer vs. Conquistador
Who is deadliest?!
I have wanted to include the Comanche is my story and decided to do Comanche vs Mamluk Cavalryman with the inclusion of Crazy Horse vs. Jesse James.