Charlemagne: The Frankish King who stopped the Dark Ages and spread Christianity.
(Charlemagne is seen leading his men into battle. He walks up to a Saxon and decapitates him with his joyeuse.)
vs.
Alexander the Great: The warrior King whose brilliant tactics made him the greatest conqueror of his time.
(Alexander and his men charge towards an army of Persians. He thrusts his kopis into the gut of one before slitting the throat of another.)
WHO IS DEADLIEST?
To find out, we've assembled a team of world class fighters to test history's most lethal weapons. Using 21st century science, we'll see what happens when two warriors go toe to toe.
No rules. No safety. No mercy. It's a duel to the death to decide who is...THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!
During their last battles both generals were soundly defeated by their respective adversaries...
(Charlemagne attempts to block the Dane axe from hitting him by raising his shield. However the axe impacts his spagenhelm fracturing his skull and dazing him. William then forces him to his knees and removes his helmet before bringing the axe down onto his head nearly cleaving it in half.)
...but now, each will be given a chance for redemption when they face off for the title of deadliest warrior.
(Alexander charges towards Genghis Khan but the Mongol warlord swings his mace hitting him in the side of the head knocking him to the ground. He is then flipped over onto his back and his head is smashed by the flanged mace.)
Here in our elite fight club we have gathered doctors, medical scientists and weapons experts to test out the lethal arsenals wielded by each of our combatants to determine who would win a fight between two generals from the ancient world who were undefeated in battle.
Charlemagne
Circa: 800 A.D.
Age: 58
Height: 6'3''
Weight: 165 lbs.
Armor: Chainmail, Iron Spagenhelm, Heater Shield
Alexander the Great
Circa: 333 B.C.
Age: 23
Height: 5'7''
Weight: 155 lbs.
Armor: Bronze Cuirass, Chalcidian Helmet, Bronze Shield
''Today on redemption we have two famed generals who went undefeated in battle.'' Barry Jacobsen started off, ''On one end of the spectrum you have Charlemagne who was King of the Franks and the man responsible for ending the Dark Ages and spreading Christianity. On the other end you have the warrior King of Macedonia, Alexander the Great. Both men are brutal, smart and this will be a fun match.''
''One thing to take into account is the age and physical make-up of these two leaders. Charlemagne is older at 58 and he's tall as hell but he was underweight for his size. Alexander on the other hand is younger at 23 and he is superbly fit with that training in pankration. It'll be that difference aside from the weapons that'll be the game changer here.'' Doctor Dorian spoke up.
''Even though Charlemagne has a lead of 467 years he still falls within the iron age with Alexander so we will be doing the classic steel versus bronze battle.'' Geoff added.
''Both men built their respective kingdoms from the ground up and were virtually undefeated in battle. I can't wait to see which King reigns surpreme.'' Barry concluded.
The Frankish King carried with him an arsenal that made him undefeated in battle.
Short Range: Joyeuse
Mid-Range: Angon
Long Range: Francisca Axe
Special: Langseax
And for Alexander he brought with him weapons that enabled him to conquer and destroy every army that stood before him.
Short Range: Kopis
Mid-Range: Xyston
Long Range: Gastraphetes
Special: Makhaira
For short range combat, both generals wielded swords of drastically differing designs. Charlemagne carried with him his legendary joyeuse and Alexander carried with him the kopis.
The panel now review the testing of both weapons in their debut episodes. As with previous back for blood and redemption matches we will have our experts test their swords against the opponent's armor.
Charlemagne expert Bernard Smith and Alexander the Great expert Kendal Wells stand ready with their swords in hand.
''Okay guys, right in front of you is a torso covered in your opponent's armor. We want one strike at the shield, the helmet and the chainmail and bronze cuirass respectively is that understood?'' Geoff explained.
Both experts nod before readying their blades.
''Then on 3...2...1...Cut em' up!'' Geoff called out.
Bernard thrusts his brings his Joyeuse down onto the chalcidian helmet. The sword cuts through the plume before banging against the top of the helmet with a loud and jarring clang, likewise Kendall swings his kopis downwards onto the spagenhelm, the blade leaving only a dent. Both experts then rear up for a thrust into their opponent's armor. Bernard thrusts his with a mighty roar, the Joyeuse piercing the bronze cuirass as Kendall thrusts with all his might smiling upon seeing the kopis penetrate the chainmail.
''Bernard put some rage into that.'' Geoff commented.
The experts then move onto the shield and both swing with all their might. Both swords bouncing off the shields with a clang.
The panel then walks over to evaluate the damage.
''Moving on first to Kendall with his kopis your swing onto the helmet only generated about 20 PSI which would not lead to a skull fracture so you're dazing the guy at most. However the pierce through the chainmail more than made up for that failure. I see about 3 inches of penetration and this would cause heavy bleeding since you've got him in the liver here and if he isn't treated he'll die. Moving on to the heater shield we didn't detect enough force to break even one bone in the arm. So the final assessment for you Kendall is that if you can repeatedly thrust into the chainmail you're good to go and everything else is a fail.''
Dorian then makes his way over to Bernard.
''For Bernard we are seeing much better results against the armor here. First with Alexander's helmet you smashed through his helmet with a total force of 98 PSI which is more than enough to crack his skull. The attack would leave him with a ticking time bomb in his brain and he's gonna die. For the thrust into the bronze cuirass you did achieve some degree of penetration at about..2 inches or so? Not much damage but you still cut into his skin underneath. Finally for the bronze shield you struck it at 81 PSI and judging from that alone you are breaking at least one bone in his arm.''
''Your blade is so much longer that when you're busy winding up for a swing I'll just charge you head on and thrust my sword into your armor.'' Kendall said unimpressed.
''Says the guy with a sword that barely did anything to my helmet and shield. Listen here Kendall, If my Joyeuse strikes you in the helmet, you'll get a skull fracture and that is all I need to disable Alexander and then decapitate him. Remember, Charlemagne has superior metals in his weapons.'' Bernard retorted.
''Adding to that the bronze cuirass and the helmet will not be able to sustain continued punishment from Charlemagne's Joyeuse.'' Barry added.
After testing both short range weapons against armor, which one do our experts believe takes the edge?
''Sure the kopis is shorter meaning he can get in and out with blows, but the failure against the spagenhelm and the shield is what sealed the deal for me. Since Alexander won't be able to do much against it he'll have to try to get past that shield and thrust into the chainmail which will make his job more difficult. Edge Joyeuse.'' Geoff started.
''The Joyeuse has a much better time performing against the bronze armor Alexander is bringing. Since it can cause significant damage to all three pieces of armor and it's length alone I give my edge to it.'' Dorian seconded.
''Charlemagne's sword is much longer as well meaning he can keep Alexander at a distance and then smash his skull through the helmet. Edge Joyeuse.'' Barry added.
In short range weapons, the edge goes to Charlemagne for the Joyeuse
For mid-range combat both generals utilized two skewering spears to cause extreme agony on their enemies. The angon and the xyston.
The team reviews the testing of both weapons in their debut episodes and after a brief debate they finally come to a conclusion.
''I'm siding with the xyston all the way. It has two spearheads and they will have no time kabobbing it's way through the chainmail and Charlemagne's body.'' Geoff said.
''Despite having better metals in it's tip I like the xyston because of the double spearheads and I think it hits you with a lot more force. Edge xyston.'' Dorian said.
''Both weapons will penetrate the opposing armor without much problem. I'll call this even.'' Barry finished.
For mid-range weapons, the edge goes to Alexander the Great for the xyston.
For long range both generals used different methods of putting their foes down from a distance. Charlemagne wielded the Francisca axe and Alexander wielded the gastraphetes belly bow.
After reviewing the testing of both weapons in their respective debuts. The team has decided that the edge is as easy as ever.
''Holy shit...the gastraphetes finally edges out an opposing weapon?!'' Geoff asked with a fake shocked expression on his face whilst placing a hand over his open mouth.
''Oh my god...It does! Both weapons require energy to use, in the case with the axes they need to be chucked with a lot of muscle power and the gastraphetes wastes your time leaning that weapon down and you leaning forward onto it to pull the string back. Holy Jesus...for pure range and power the gastraphetes takes it.'' Dorian added.
''I can't believe I'm saying this...THE GASTRAPHETES HAS FINALLY WON.'' Barry yelled at the top of his lungs as he collapses to his knees with arms raised high into the air as a light shines down on him.
For long range weapons, the edge goes to Alexander the Great for the gastraphetes.
XXXXXX
Now we conclude the weapon review with the favored sidearms both warriors used in battle.
The team reviews the testing of the langseax and the makhaira in their debut episodes. Upon the assumption that the two blades will cause similar damage to the warriors' respective short range weapons. They automatically come to a decision.
''No contest, the langseax has better metals, it is longer and I think Alexander is in a bit of trouble if it impacts his head with enough force.'' Geoff said.
''The makhaira is no doubt a nasty blade on it's own, but the langseax's bigger blade causes more trauma and the length alone gives it my edge.'' Dorian added.
''I think this weapon besides the Joyeuse will be the Macedonian killer here gents. Edge langseax.'' Barry concluded.
For special weapons, the edge goes to Charlemagne for the langseax.
Moving onto to armor the team physically compares both sets and review the protection capabilities and their defensive capabilities against the opposing warrior's weapons before coming to a decision.
''Charlemagne's armor will fall to the gastraphetes, the kopis and dear god that xyston will easily get through it. Alexander on the other hand has to worry about the Joyeuse and the langseax. For my final decision I think the bronze cuirass which is vulnerable against two of opponent's weapons compared to the chainmail's three gives Alexander the edge.'' Geoff started off.
''I'll call this even. The helmet and shield go to Charlemagne while the main armor goes to Alexander. It's coverage versus strength and we usually know how that goes right?'' Dorian commented.
''It's a wash for me as well. While Charlemagne can bash his way through that helmet and cuirass, Alexander can do the same with three of his weapons. For the reasons Doc provided I'll call this even as well.'' Barry concluded.
In the armor category, it's an even comparison.
Coming up! Barry gauges the x-factors and later our battle between two undefeated generals begins!
XXXXXX
Welcome back to the fight club, here we tested the lethal weapons wielded by two Iron Age generals.
For short range weapons, Charlemagne's Joyeuse proved more powerful and more damaging than Alexander's kopis.
''The Joyeuse has the length and metallurgy backing it up and combined with the force it hits and the damage it does to Alexander's armor gives it the edge.'' Geoff explained.
Edge: Charlemagne
For mid-ranged weapons, Alexander the Great's xyston hits with more force than Charlemagne's angon.
''Despite the angon being a missile as well as up close weapon. The xyston has power and with those two tips you don't have to worry if one side breaks off whereas if you toss the angon and miss you disarmed yourself.''
Edge: Alexander the Great
For long range weapons, Alexander's the Great's gastraphetes proved more powerful than Charlemagne's francisca axe.
''Even though the gastraphetes fires extremely slow and requires a lot of time and energy to use we could not overlook the fact that the bolts it uses hits you with a lot of power. The axes can only go so far.''
Edge: Alexander the Great
For special weapons, Charlemagne's langseax cut down Alexander's makhaira.
''The langseax has the metallurgy backing it up and it wins the edge for the same reasons the Joyeuse did against the kopis.''
Edge: Charlemagne
And finally, for armor both Charlemagne's chainmail and Alexander the Great's bronze cuirass were determined to be equally protective.
''Both these sets of armor have their strong points. Charlemagne has the better helmet and shield while Alexander's bronze cuirass is harder than the chainmail. However, what puts these two sets of armor on equal footing is the fact that both generals have weapons that can easily destroy the opposing armor.'' Geoff concluded.
Edge: Even
And now Barry gauges the x-factors of our warriors.
''Alright, let me evaluate the x-factors.'' Barry said taking a seat at his desk.
''First and always it's generalship and Charlemagne had a 91 to Alexander's 90.''
''For strategy Alexander had a 94 to Charlemagne's 89.
''Third is physicality and Alexander took it with quite a gap between them with a 92 to Charlemagne's 78. Alexander is younger, more fit and practiced pankration while Charlemagne is skinnier and older.''
''Next is endurance and it's the same reason as physicality. Alexander has an 88 to Charlemagne's 81.''
''Then for audacity Charlemagne has it with an 86 to Alexander's 80.''
''Finally last is logistics and Alexander had a 93 to Charlemagne's 88. This was because Alexander had his supply lines go all the way into India.''
Barry has just finished reviewing the x-factors of our warriors. To ensure a lucky blow doesn't win it for the warriors the simulator will run one-thousands battles. Charlemagne will lead 4 of his Frankish warriors while Alexander will lead 4 of his Macedonian foot soldiers. All warriors will wear the armor of their leaders.
Who will win in a battle between two generals who went undefeated in battle in their lifetime?
The King of the Franks
(Charlemagne is seen charging with his men at a Saxon army. He thrusts his Joyeuse into the gut of one before hurling a Francisca axe into the face of another.)
vs.
The King of Macedon
(Alexander and his men await a charging army of Persian war chariots. His men then open up their lines as the chariots are now boxed in and slaughtered.)
''In the end, one general will be defeated once more. Let's see who remains standing.'' Barry said as he presses the enter key.
XXXXXX
The battle takes us to an open field near a rocky outcrop in Macedonia. Down a path we see Charlemagne and 4 of his Frankish warriors walking through the area. The stage is set as he and his men have decided to conquer Macedonia to add to his growing empire.
Charlemagne: 5
They continue their walk until they hear what sounds to be like people fighting each other. Charlemagne orders his men to stop and leads the way through the path from where they heard the noise.
Peeking over the boulder Charlemagne spots who he had personally come here to slay. The warrior King Alexander the Great himself. Seeing the King spar with his men in pankration, Charlemagne orders two of his men to ready a volley of axes while his other two draw their langseaxs.
Alexander the Great: 5
Hearing the crumbling of some rocks, Alexander turns to face the direction of the noise, slowly walking up with suspicion, he squints his eyes and as he does the Frankish warriors armed with axes pop up and hurl a volley at the Macedonians.
Alexander raises his shield and blocks an axe but one of his soldiers isn't so lucky and an axe digs into the side of his head, the wound spurting blood and the Macedonian twitching before collapsing.
Charlemagne: 5 - Alexander the Great: 4
Running back towards his men he shouts out orders for them to go for their weapons and picks up his gastraphetes. Bending over and loading a bolt onto the belly bow the warrior King turns and sees the Franks charging towards them with their weapons drawn.
Struggling to load the bolt onto his bow Alexander orders his men to draw their weapons and charge towards the invaders to give him enough time to finish the pain staking process.
The Macedonian foot soldiers unleash war cries as they charge the Franks and meet in the middle of the small field.
A Frankish warrior armed with a langseax duels with a Macedonian armed with a xyston. The Macedonian goes in for a thrust but the Frank jumps aside and brings the langseax down onto the shaft breaking it in half.
The Macedonian tries to scramble for his kopis but the Frank swings his langseax slicing clean through the man's neck, the head being held by only a thin layer of skin.
Charlemagne: 5 - Alexander the Great: 3
The Frank turns to face Alexander but a bolt flies straight at him and finds itself buried in his eye knocking him over.
Charlemagne: 4 - Alexander the Great: 3
Nodding in satisfaction, Alexander tosses his gastraphetes aside and draws his kopis before running over to join his men in the fight. Meanwhile Charlemagne is seen dueling with a Macedonian blocking each of the man's feeble attacks. Charlemagne shoves the man to the ground and quickly thrusts his blade down onto the man's chest.
The Macedonian giving off a cry of pain before dying.
Charlemagne: 4 - Alexander the Great: 2
Smirking at his fresh kill, Charlemagne spots Alexander running towards the battle and steps forward blocking his way stopping the warrior king in his tracks.
Meanwhile the remaining Macedonian soldier parries a swing from one of the Frank's langseax. Using the xyston's extra head he jabs it forward and impales the Frankish warrior through the gut.
He forces the xyston even further into his body before twisting it and pulling out. The Frank coughing blood as he falls over. Turning to face another Frank, he draws his Makhaira and the two engage in a back and forth struggle.
Charlemagne: 3 - Alexander the Great: 2
Alexander, not wanting to leave his soldier alone picks up a hand full of dirt and tosses it into Charlemagne's face getting in his eye. The Frankish King groans in pain as he falls to his knees rubbing his eyes.
Taking the opportunity Alexander rushes over to his man's aid and swifty tackles a Frank who was about to decapitate him from behind. Repeatedly punching the Frank is his face, Alexander gives one last headbutt before taking his kopis and bringing it down onto the Frankish warrior's forehead.
The blade cutting through and getting into the brain.
Charlemagne: 2 - Alexander the Great: 2
At the same time the remaining soldiers from both sides exchange blows with their weapons. The Frank would be the one who gains the upperhand when he swings low and slices the Macedonian's leg off shin-level sending him falling.
He then takes his angon from his back and thrusts it down skewering the Macedonian through his mouth and out the back of his head spraying blood everywhere.
Charlemagne: 2 - Alexander the Great: 1
He withdraws his angon but not before a makhaira is stabbed through his throat. The blade being twisted violently before his body is shoved forward to the ground.
Charlemagne: 1 - Alexander the Great: 1
Alexander growls in anger at the death of his men before tossing his makhaira aside and picks up his soldier's shield from his back. He then turns to face Charlemagne who had just recovered from his ordeal. Showing no fear towards the taller man he slowly inches his way forward with his shield held in front.
Going for his own shield, the two Kings slowly walk towards each other. It has come down to this and only one of them will walk away alive. Alexander goes first with a diagonal swing that is blocked from the heater shield, Charlemagne capitalizes and shoves forward with all his might.
Thanks to his taller height the force was enough to send Alexander stepping back, almost tripping and taking advantage of this Charlemagne lashes out with a horizontal swing that slices into the warrior King's upper arm.
Grunting in pain, Alexander regains his footing just as Charlemagne charges forward. As the Frank comes closer Alexander twirls to the side and quickly lunges forward thrusting his kopis, the sword piercing clean through the chainmail and cutting deep into Charlemagne's side.
Yelling in pain Charlemagne responds by backhanding him sending him in another tripping session before lashing forward.
Alexander raises his shield but the force of the blow breaks a bone in his arm. Clenching his teeth in pain he tries to swing his kopis but his attempted attack is blocked when his arm is grabbed.
The two then struggle for control of the kopis and thanks again to his height, Charlemagne manages forcefully pull Alexander towards his dropping the kopis in the process.
As quickly as he could Charlemagne with all his might brings the Joyeuse down onto the Macedonian King's helmet. The blade impacts it sending a jarring echo through the area.
Knocked to the ground Alexander groans in pain placing his hand onto his bleeding head, he tries to go for the kopis but Charlemagne kicks it away.
Knowing he has been beaten, Alexander looks up at Charlemagne. After a few minutes of staring the Frankish King once again swings his Joyeuse down but this time the force was even more powerful and it smashes Alexander's helmet with enough force to fracture his skull.
The warrior King gives one last attempt to try and grabs his sword but he stops suddenly before becoming still. His skull having been fractured enough to kill him.
Charlemagne: 1 - Alexander the Great: 0
Bending down to pick up the kopis, Charlemagne raises both it and his Joyeuse into the air before shouting in victory.
XXXXXX
Winner: Charlemagne
Charlemagne: 553
Joyeuse: 203
Angon: 156
Francisca Axe: 29
Langseax: 165
Alexander the Great: 447
Kopis: 144
Xyston: 178
Gastraphetes: 28
Makhaira: 97
X-Factors
Generalship: 91/Generalship: 90
Strategy: 89/Strategy: 94
Physicality: 78/Physicality: 92
Endurance: 81/Endurance: 88
Audacity: 86/Audacity: 80
Logistics: 88/Logistics: 93
Armor Failure Rate
Iron Spagenhelm: 9.4% - Chalcidian Helmet: 17.5%
Chainmail: 22.6% - Bronze Cuirass: 21.7%
Heater Shield: 5% - Bronze Shield: 10%
Following a battle between two colossal Iron Age generals. It would be Charlemagne who claims victory with 55.3%. His superior weaponry such as his Joyeuse and langseax sealed his victory. Alexander proved to be the deadliest warrior in mid-range weapons and winning 44.7% overall but his inferior bronze cuirass and helmet led to his demise.
''Despite having superior armor with his bronze cuirass, it still had a hard time holding up against the Joyeuse and the langseax. Alexander did what he could with his arsenal but his armor was failing him more than Charlemagne's and that's why he lost.'' Geoff explained.
''Even though Charlemagne was a lot older and not physically in good health as Alexander, his weapons proved to be too much for the bronze armor Alexander had. Charlemagne's Joyeuse proved to be the number one killer in the simulator.'' Dorian added.
''Sure he had better strategy but he's going up against a guy with steel weapons, a better shield and helmet. Sorry Alexander your day just isn't coming soon.'' Barry concluded.
(The Frankish King is seen walking away from the gory aftermath of the bloody battle. In his hand Charlemagne carries the fallen Alexander's xyston as a reminder of a powerful foe and to bring back to his army and have it mass-produced as he was impressed by it's double-sided capabilities and it's design.)
XXXXXX
Next time on redemption, two excellent medieval military leaders meet in battle for the first time.
Richard the Lionheart: The English King who crushed every army that stood before him during the Third Crusade.
vs.
El Cid: The Castilian general whose brilliant battle tactics continued to lead men into battle even after death.
WHO IS DEADLIEST!?