Deadliest Warrior: Rice Man's Edition

by Its Rice Man

Throughout history there have been many warriors who left their mark on their respective cultures. Now, with modern science and technology DeadAliveManiac, Zivon96, MKDemiGodzilla-Warrior, Its Rice Man and Metal Harbinger bring these legends back to life to compete and find out who is...THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR! (BACK FOR BLOOD SEASON 3 ONGOING).

85. Julius Caesar vs Ashurnasirpal II

(A man in his 50's wearing the standard chainmail armor of the Roman army takes his scutum and gladius before thrusting at the screen.)

Julius Caesar: The Roman general turned dictator who transformed the Roman republic into the world famous empire.

(Caesar cuts down an enemy with his gladius before using his scutum to block another enemy's attempted strike, then stabbing him in the stomach.)

vs.

(A Middle Eastern man wearing iron armor and helmet takes his spear and thrusts toward the camera.)

Ashurnasirpal II: The Neo-Assyrian king who skinned his victims alive and nailed their flesh to the city gates.

(Ashurnasirpal II buries his khopesh into the skull of a Babylonian foot soldier, he drags the weapon out popping the skull open.)

WHO IS DEADLIEST?

To find out, we've assembled a team of world class fighters to test history's most lethal weapons. Using 21st century science, we'll see what happens when two warriors go head to head.

No rules. No safety. No mercy. It's a duel to the death to decide who is...THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!

Here in our elite fight club we have gathered a panel of doctors, military historians, scientists, and weapons specialists to test out the lethal arsenals wielded by each of our combatants to determine who would win a fight between two of the most influential generals in the BC era.

Julius Caesar

Circa: 48 B.C.

Age: 52

Height: 5'7"

Weight: 165 lbs.

Armor: Lorica Hamata, Pteryges, Coolus Helmet, Scutum

Ashurnasirpal II

Circa: 883 B.C.

Age: Unknown

Height: 5'6"

Weight: 140 lbs.

Armor: Iron Padded Lamellar, Iron Helmet, Wickerwork Shield

''Today men we have a battle between two influential leaders of their respective kingdoms and the icing on the cake for this one is that these two generals are from the BC era. We have Julius Caesar who was the man responsible for turning the Roman republic into the Roman empire. Then we have Ashurnasirpal II who was the Neo-Assyrian king who was known for skinning his victims alive. This is definitely an interesting battle.'' Ancient weapons and combat specialist DeadAliveManiac began.

''I think I'm giving the edge to Caesar. He paved the way for what would become one of the greatest empires to ever grace the earth. He's bringing in steel weapons, the Romans were a better fighting force and are used to beating less organized ones.'' Medical expert Zivon96 said explaining his choice.

''Well, I'm giving this one to Ashurnasirpal because he is packing some deadly weapons and not to mention his army is very fanatical and much more brutal than what the Romans are used to and I think that will allow them to take them by surprise.'' Weapons geek MKDemigodZ-Warrior countered.

''It's another classic battle of steel versus bronze and iron, a battle between two revered leaders from their respective parts of the ancient world. Let's see what the outcome is.'' Modern warfare and weapons specialist PFC Rice Man concluded.

Gaius Julius Caesar, usually called Julius Caesar, was a Roman politician and general who played a critical role in the events that led to the demise of the Roman Republic and the rise of the Roman Empire. Following the civil war he became the unrivaled leader of Rome and began a series of social and governmental reforms that lead to the centralization of the bureaucracy.

''During his time he was a very popular and influential figure and he managed to accomplish this by doing things no one before or after his time had ever done. I think Ashurnasirpal is in for some fun when he meets the Roman dictator.'' Rice Man explained.

The Roman dictator brought into battle the standard arms of the mighty Roman army that helped further his legacy.

Short Range: Gladius

Mid-Range: Hasta

Long Range: Pilum

Special: Pugio

But how will the dictator fare against a new adversary who was known for the brutal treatments of all who challenged him?

Ashurnasirpal II was king of Assyria from 883 to 859 BC. succeeded his father, Tukulti-Ninurta II, in 883 BC. During his reign he embarked on a vast program of expansion, first conquering the peoples to the north in Asia Minor as far as Nairi and exacting tribute from Phrygia, then invading Aram conquering the Aramaeans and neo Hittites between the Khabur and the Euphrates Rivers.

''This man behaved in such a brutal manner and many attribute his treatment of anyone who stood before him due to his immense love for his nation. Caesar is in for a fight with someone who has what it takes to probably defeat him.'' Rice Man explained.

The Neo-Assyrian ruler carried the best weaponry of the Bronze Age that mutilated many men who stood in his way.

Short Range: Khopesh

Mid-Range: Assyrian Spear

Long Range: Assyrian Composite Bow

Special: Assyrian Dagger

When the battles got up close and personal our generals used two differently designed weapons to cut their enemies down. Up first will be Ashurnasirpal with the khopesh.

''We've seen the khopesh on this show before with the Jewish zealot but never against the kind of armor Caesar would've worn. So we're gonna have you test it on two targets and one will be wearing the lorica hamata of the Roman dictator.'' DAM explained.

Assyrian expert Ashur nods and with his sickle sword and walks up to the targets.

''On 3...2...1...cut em up!"

Ashur screams viciously as he brings the khopesh down onto the first target's head and in a lovely and gory spectacle the head is sliced completely in half vertically. He then swings his weapon sideways and easily lops the head off sending it rolling across the floor of the Fight Club. Rushing over to the armored torso the expert takes his weapon in both hands and swings it as hard as he can and strikes the hatama mail armor but the result was a few chainlinks being knocked off. He then swings once at the scutum shield but the damage was nonexistent. He then takes his chances with the helmet and brings it down leaving a minor dent and undeterred he swings and decapitates the torso.

The panel then walks over to assess the damage.

''With your first target you had manage to cause instant death with this blow because well, isn't it obvious? You chopped his head literally in half man. For the second blow you took that khopesh and swung it with enough force that you had no problem slicing clean through this guy's neck and took his head off for another instant kill. The khopesh coming at his neck would be the last thing he would ever see.'' Zivon explained before moving on to the armored torso. ''We have bad news here, your swings to the shield and helmet did not generate enough force to break anything so there's no broke bone in his arm and for the helmet he's just stunned for a few seconds at most. You did decapitate him though so that's an obvious instant kill.''

''Your weapon is made of inferior material and failed to get past the armor. What I have will easily defeat the armor Ashurnasirpal is bringing in.'' Julius Caesar expert Brutus Maximus commented.

Since we've seen the gladius multiple times before in past episodes we will let the panel make the decision on what to do. Boys?

''We're going to conduct the necessary test for the gladius by having our expert test it out in the same way we did with the khopesh. So whenever you're ready Brutus you may get into position.'' DAM said.

Brutus nods before walking up to a pair of new gel torsos and just like Ashur he will attack an unarmored torso and one clad in Ashurnasirpal's iron-padded lamellar, helmet, and wickerwork shield.

''On 3...2...1...attack!" DAM shouted out.

''For Rome!'' Brutus cried out as he runs up to the bare torso and thrusts the gladius into it's gut with an audible squish as blood slowly seeps out between the edge of his sword. He pulls the sword out and swings at the left wrist severing it before thrusting his sword into the temple of the torso. He moves onward to the armored torso and swings at the wickerwork shield cutting clean through it. He follows up with a downward swing to the iron helmet leaving a moderate dent before thrusting clean through the iron-padded lamellar armor and when he pulls the gladius out it's shown to have blood on it.

The panel then walks over so Zivon can assess the damage done.

''I'm seeing great kill shots on the unarmored torso here. The first attack you thrusted that sword into this guy's gut and while it won't kill him outright he will die a slow death unless he can get to a doctor. You also severed the guy's hand at the wrist. The final strike on the guy saw you taking that sword and jamming it straight through his temple and hitting the front portion of the brain for an instant kill.'' The Canadian doctor then moves on to the second, armored target. ''You definitely had no problem cutting through the wickerwork shield and if this was a real person you could've probably hit him right in the head. The blow to the helmet we picked up about 89 PSI so that's enough to fracture his skull, a delayed kill. Finally, your thrust into the armor you got blood on your blade so let's me see how deep you got. Yep, about 2 inches but that wouldn't be significant enough to kill. He's wounded pretty badly at most.'' Zivon concluded.

After retesting both weapons against armor which one does our panel believe takes the edge?

''I have to give the edge to the gladius. It's made of the better material and has no problem breaking through all of Ashurnasirpal's defenses.'' DAM started off.

''I agree easily. The khopesh is a nasty weapon to encounter on the battlefield but it's having a hard time against all the defenses Caesar has on the table. Edge gladius.'' Zivon seconded.

''Yeah, I agree. For versatility in slashes and stabs the gladius takes this one.'' Demigod added.

''If the khopesh had broken through Caesar's armor it would've tied since these are two of history's most deadly weapons but the gladius wins by a longshot.'' Rice Man concluded.

In short range weapons, the edge goes to Julius Caesar for the gladius.

Coming up, two simple but deadly spears go toe-to-toe and then later a favorite Roman missile goes up against a classic long range killer.

XXXXXX

Now we bring out the favored mid-ranged killers of our generals. Up first will be Ashurnasirpal with a trademark impaling tool of his army.

''The Assyrian spear was a killer on the battlefield. It had a broad iron head that was great for skewering someone. It was around 6 feet long and weighed 3 pounds.'' Ashur explained.

''We've seen similar spears before but we want to see what kind of damage it can do against both armored and unarmored torsos. Whenever you're ready get into position.'' DAM explained.

''You got it.'' The Assyrian expert said before taking his position in front of his targets.

''On 3...2...1...kill em!'' DAM shouted out.

The expert takes his spear thrusts with all his might into the unarmored torso's chest with a sickening squish. The area in which he hit spurting blood like a fountain and a small drop of blood gets in his eyes forcing him to cringe and look away. Twisting the spear he yanks it out before delivering another thrust higher straight through the throat and he pulls out before making his way towards the armored torso. He puts lots of force into his attack and when he thrusts his spear he manages to pierce clean through the armor and the panel sees blood seeping from underneath it. Satisfied, Ashur retracts his spear and looks at the panel.

''All done.'' He simply said.

The panel then walks over so Zivon can gauge the carnage.

''Alright, let's see what we have here. The for the first guy you took that spear and jammed it straight through his chest and you hit the aorta causing a near instant bleed out and kill. The second blow you stabbed this guy right in his throat and you severed the spinal cord for another instant kill.''

He then moves onward to the armored torso.

''I'm quite impressed by the amount of penetration you achieved in just one thrust. I can feel about three inches of the spearhead and you actually got him right in the heart and he will die instantly from that. Good work.'' Concluded the medic.

Brutus walks over and shakes his head.

''Your weapon is made of inferior metals. The hasta of the Romans had steel and we all know steel defeats iron and bronze anytime of the day.''

Julius Caesars thrusts back with the frontline weapon of the Roman legionares.

''The hasta was one of many frontline weapons issued to the Roman army. It had a very broad steel head and altogether it measures in at 6 feet long and weighs 5 pounds.'' Explained Brutus.

''We've always wanted to see the hasta makes its debut and now we have the chance. We will have you test out that spear against a torso outfitted in the armor of Ashurnasirpal and we want you to simply thrust through the armor and see what kind of penetration you can achieve.'' DAM explained.

''Sounds good. Let's go.'' Brutus said as he walks over to the torso waiting for Rice Man and Demigod finish fitting it with the opposing armor.

After Rice Man and Demigod finish DAM begins giving the countdown.

''On 3...2...1...skewer the bastard!''

Brutus stands still for a moment as he grabs his spear and with as much energy as he can muster he takes the weapon and gives a powerful thrust and once the spear's head impacts the armor it breaks through the iron lamellar getting the entire spearhead in with a clang. Seconds later blood is seen trailing down the spear's shaft. Not satisfied the expert then yanks his spear out and kicks the torso over onto it's back and he walks over to deliver his final blow by stabbing the hasta down and hitting the armored torso in the gut piercing through the armor once again.

The panel then walks over to assess the damage.

''I must say Brutus, I am quite impressed by the penetration we have here.'' Zivon said as he begins to tinker with the torso. ''Your first thrust struck the armor dead in the chest and judging by the depth of penetration you had manage to hit the heart for a near instant kill, a very bloody one at that. Then you kicked him over and brought that hasta down and drove it deep into his stomach which wouldn't be an instant kill, just a delayed one. Had you not struck him in the armor whatsoever, you kicking him over and having him fall on his head would kill him.'' The doc explained while showing the fractured skull of the target.

''Even with your steel spear mine's still has an easier time piercing the lorica hamata, it's chainmail and anything can go through it.'' Ashur commented.

''You can't deny that steel will always beat iron or bronze.'' Brutus said.

After testing out these two spears against bare flesh and armor, which one does the panel believe takes the edge?

''I think I'm going to call this even. The hasta is made of steel but I doubt it will penetrate the iron lamellar and kill every time while for the Assyrian spear it is made of iron but can penetrate the hamata and get a kill.'' DAM began.

''I disagree and give this all to the hasta. You simply cannot ignore that it is made of superior material which will last much longer on the battlefield. Steel is also sharper. harder, and stronger than iron.'' Zivon countered.

''Hm, for me I think I'll have to give this edge as even for the same reasons DAM provided. Sure the hasta has steel but it has a slightly tougher armor to pierce compared to the Assyrian spear which can easily pierce the lorica hamata. I'm calling this one even.'' Demigod inquired.

''Yeah, I have to agree with DAM as well. It really comes down to the man wielding each weapon. You can take for example, a bronze spear and perform well against a guy with steel weapons if you know what you're doing with it. One has superior material but has the tougher armor to pierce but the other is inferior material wise but can pierce its opposing armor much easier. It's a wash.'' Rice Man concluded.

For mid-range weapons, the edge is even.

Coming up, the famed Roman missile weapon goes up against the very weapon that made the Assyrians feared warriors.

XXXXXX

Now the time has come for us to unveil the long ranged killers of both these generals. Up first will be Julius Caesar with the famous Roman pilum.

''We've seen the pilum before but never against the armor of Ashurnasirpal. So we're gonna have Brutus attack a torso clad in the iron-padded lamellar and shield of Ashurnasirpal to gauge it's potential to damage the armor.'' DAM explained.

Brutus stood before a gel torso clad in the Assyrian armor and has been given three pilums to do his dirty.

''Alright Brutus, you know what to do. Let's see what that weapon can do against the armor.'' Zivon said.

The experts nods and takes his first pilum off the stand and sets his sights on the wickerwork shield. He then hurls the projectile and no surprise it manages to pierce all the way through the shield. Taking his second pilum Brutus now aims at the torso and chucks the weapon at the armor and when it struck it stays stuck showing that it has penetrated. With his last pilum he wasted no time in throwing the missile weapon and just like the one before it it manages to hit the armor dead center and penetrates.

Zivon then walks over to inspect the damage.

''It doesn't take a genius to figure out what happened here with the wickerwork shield. It failed and if this was a real person here he would be impaled with the pilum. Now, moving onward to the armor I'm seeing a good degree of penetration with both pilums here. The first one was aimed at his upper chest and you did achieve enough penetration to pierce into his skin but just barely so he's only suffering from a flesh wound. The second one was directed at his heart and just like the one before, you only caused a flesh wound at most. So in conclusion if there was a real guy behind the shield he would've been dead but these two strikes here aren't kills, only injuries and he can fight back with no problem.'' Explained the doctor.

Ashur walks over and snickers to himself at the pilum's testing.

''You serious? You're bringing this kind of weapon to a long range battle? I can say this, the weapon I have is what made the Assyrians feared by the enemies and there's no doubt it would make the Romans piss their pants.''

Ashurnasirpal II responds to the pilum with the pinnacle of Assyrian warfare.

''This is the Assyrian composite bow. It was the weapon that made the Assyrian military feared in siege warfare. Compared to most bows it had a very weird appearance with its triangular and duck-shaped nocks at the end. The arrows that is used were 37 and a half inches long and made of cane. How the Assyrians used this was to use a very tall, wickerwork shield positioned upright so that one soldier can fire this weapon safely while his comrade covered him. Very effective tactics.'' Ashur explained.

For this test the panel has set up a single gel torso clad in the lorica hamata and scutum shield of Julius Caesar. Just like Brutus he will have three shots with one barbed arrow and two broadheaded arrows.

Rice Man takes the wickerwork shield and stands behind it while Ashur took up a position behind him. With everything set the expert strings his first broadheaded arrow and peeks out from behind the shield. Aiming at the armored torso he releases the arrow and it strikes the lorica hamata getting stuck in it for a few seconds before falling out of the mail armor. Taking his barbed arrow he aims from behind the shield once more and fires at the armored torso. The barbed arrowhead manages to pierce the chainmail right in the upper chest region before falling out like the last arrow. Not bothered by this, Ashur takes his last arrow and fires at the scutum shield and right when it struck the wooden surface it gets deflected.

Zivon then walks over to gauge the damage.

''Ashur man, I'm not seeing very good results when it comes to the scutum but, the two arrows you shot at the armor were a little bit better. The barbed arrowhead caused the most damage as you got about 2 inches of penetration but you only managed to cause a flesh wound at most. The other arrowhead just barely made it through the chainmail. Not even a flesh wound so no kill.'' Zivon concluded.

''Still, we can't ignore that Ashurnasirpal brings in the superior ranged weapon that would allow him to pick off Romans from a distance.'' Ashur responded.

Following the tests of these two long ranged weapons, which one does the panel believe takes the edge?

''No question, Assyrian composite bow takes it all the way and I don't even have to explain why.'' DAM started off.

''Even if it didn't pierce the armor enough to kill I have to give the bow the edge for more practical use at long range.'' Zivon seconded.

''A bow will always beat a hand thrown weapon. Edge to the Assyrian composite bow.'' Demigod said.

''It has the range, which is what we look for in a long range comparison when it comes to ancient warrior matches. So the edge goes to the Assyrian composite bow by a hundred miles.'' Rice Man concluded.

In long range weapons, the edge goes to Ashurnasirpal II for the Assyrian composite bow.

Coming up. we test out two lethal daggers and then later our battle between two BC era generals begins!

XXXXXX

The time has come for both sides to unveil their favorite sidearms and up first will be Julius Caesar with another weapon of the Roman army. The pugio.

''The dagger used by the Romans would be the pugio dagger. It had a steel, double-edged blade that measured about 15 inches long and weighed about a pound and a half and was believed to be the weapon used to end Caesar's life.'' Brutus explained.

''Alright Brutus, to test that weapon out we've set up two torsos and one is wearing the armor of Ashurnasirpal, I think you know what to do here.'' DAM explained.

Brutus simply nodded and before DAM gave the countdown the expert rushes over and begins to stab into the unarmored torso before yanking the blade downward slicing its stomach wide open spilling the contents inside. He then stabs the dummy several times in the chest before delivering a final one into it's throat. Moving onward to the armored torso the expert grabs a hold of the torso by the nape of its neck before stabbing the armor as hard as he could and he achieves several penetrating blows before finishing his deranged test be stabbing the pugio into the top of the torso's skull with a sickening crunch.

''Well then, I'm gonna pretend I wasn't going to give a countdown.'' DAM said.

''Starting with the first target you delivered a thrust into this guy's stomach and forced that blade upward and you managed to spill this guy's guts all over the dang floor and make this mess. You then went for a flurry of thrusts that basically turned this guy's insides into mush and the amount of bleeding would be enough to kill him.''

Zivon then moves onward to the armored torso.

''I'm only seeing at least an inch of penetration and those are only pricks on the skin. You're most likely causing small cuts on this guy but that's it. However, you went away from the armor and thrusted that damn thing into this guy's skull for an instant kill.''

Ashur walks over to observe the display for himself.

''Yes, you got some carnage here but your pugio was not enough to penetrate the armor and kill the man. My dagger may be iron but I know it can pierce the hamata easily.''

Ashurnasirpall II slashes back with the Assyrian dagger.

''The dagger used by the Assyrians was very similar to the kindjal used in Russia except it was a bit longer and heavier than the latter. It measures at 18 inches long and weighs 3 pounds.'' Ashur explained.

''Great, we're gonna have the same test for you except we'll just have you test it against the armor worn by Caesar. We want to see a hook, slash, and stab understood?'' DAM asked.

Nodding, the Assyrian expert walks up to the torso and places a hand on the target's shoulder and proceeds to thrust the dagger into it's gut easily piercing it's armor before he pulls his dagger out and slashes at the target's face cutting it diagonally across the face from the top of the head to the bottom portion of the chin. He then swings at the throat.

''I think we all know how obvious this assessment is. He stabbed this guy multiple times for a rapid bleed out and he'd soon die from the blood loss. Ashur then went and sliced this guy across his face and I can see through the translucent skin that not only is he cutting through the skin easily, he's also shearing the bone. You then slashed this guy across the throat severing all major veins and arteries for a near instant bleed out.'' Zivon explained.

After conducting the necessary tests for both weapons which one do our panelists believe takes the edge?

''I think I find myself more impressed by the Assyrian dagger. It has the heavier blade and it has a few inches worth of reach over the pugio.'' DAM began.

''The pugio can cause death when dealing with unarmored flesh but when it went against the iron lamellar it didn't perform as well as I hoped it did. I'm siding with the Assyrian dagger for reach and it will have an easier time piercing the opposing armor.'' Zivon seconded.

''I'm giving the edge to the pugio because it has the better metals. I will always, one-hundred percent of the time give the edge to the weapons with better metallurgy.'' Demigod countered.

''The Assyrian dagger has a better slashing and stabbing power. For piercing the opposing armor much more smoothly and having reach I'm giving my edge to the Assyrian dagger in this category.'' Rice Man concluded.

In special weapons, the edge goes to Ashurnasirpal II for the Assyrian dagger.

Now we move on to the armor comparison between Julius Caesar's Lorica Hamata and Ashurnasirpal II's Iron-Padded Lamellar.

''Alright, now regarding armor I think we have to give the edge to Caesar. He's technologically advanced and he has a better shield and helmet.'' DAM started.

''I don't know, this is a classic case of technology versus hardness and as we know chainmail usually fails to thrusting weapons. The shield and helmet go to Caesar while Ashurnasirpal takes body armor, in my opinion at least so don't argue.'' Zivon said a bit more apprehensive.

''I'm giving the edge to Caesar because of his superior shield and helmet. The armor I'm a bit iffy on but DAM does make a valid argument so eh, I'll go with him.'' Demigod said.

''Okay, here is what I think everyone, the armor Caesar is wearing is designed to stop the slash-heavy weaponry Ashurnasirpal has while the latter's armor can stop slashes but not thrusting attacks which is what we see with the weapons Caesar is bringing in. Since Ashurnasirpal's weapons consists a lot of slashing and Caesar's armor can stop that I'm giving the edge to the Roman, plus his helmet and shield are far superior to the Assyrian's.'' Rice Man concluded.

In the armor category, the edge goes to Julius Caesar.

Coming up, Metal Harbinger will gauge the x-factors and then after our battle between two ancient world generals will commence!

XXXXXX

Welcome back to the fight club. Here we tested the weapons and armor between two generals to decide who is deadliest.

For short range weapons, Caesar's gladius decapitated Ashurnasirpal's khopesh.

''Superior steel weapon and is not reduced to solely slashing like the khopesh is what gives the gladius the edge as well as actually piercing the opposing armor.'' DAM explained.

Edge: Julius Caesar

For mid-range weapons, both the hasta and Assyrian spear proved to be equally effective in piercing armor and flesh.

''Both weapons have no problem penetrating the opposing armor. They have similar heads that can cause so much damage that's very impressive to the point where we'd call this even. The notion of the hasta being steel but having the slightly tougher iron lamellar to pierce while the Assyrian spear is iron and easily pierces the hamata armor of Caesar.''

Edge: Even

For long range weapons, Ashurnasirpal II's Assyrian composite bow proved more deadly and packed more range than Caesar's pilum.

''It's simple, a bow will always beat a hand thrown weapon and no matter how far you try to throw it you're not gonna match the range a bow has. The pilum yes, can function as a ranged weapon but seriously, the now is just made for long range combat.'' Demigod explained.

Edge: Ashurnasirpal II

For special weapons, Ashurnasirpal II's Assyrian dagger proved more deadly than Caesar's pugio.

''Longer reach and packs greater slashing and stabbing potential, plus it went through the opposing armor easier.'' Rice Man explained.

Edge: Ashurnasirpal II

And finally, for armor Julius Caesar's Lorica Hamata proved to be more protective than Ashurnasirpal II's Iron-Padded Lamellar.

''Caesar's armor is designed to protect against slashing attacks which is literally what the majority of Ashurnarpal's is. Ashurnasirpal's armor won't get pierced enough by Caesar's weapons to cause a kill the fact then again, the hamata protects against his arsenal is why Caesar takes the edge. Not only that but the Roman has the better helmet and shield.'' DAM concluded.

Edge: Julius Caesar

And now, our resident computer wizz Metal Harbinger will evaluate the x-factors.

''Time to spread the sickness.'' Said the man.

''First and foremost, I've taken into account generalship and this went to Caesar because his men were very loyal to him and he convinced them to cross the Rubicon with him to the Rhine and then Britain. That really took some strong devotion. Caesar has an 89 to Ashurnasirpal's' 78.''

''For metallurgy we gave an obvious edge to Caesar because he is packing steel weapons, what more is there to be said? He has an 82 to a 69.''

''Third is logistics and this one had to go to Caesar due to the fact that he had the best equipped, best trained, and most professional army at the time ready for his own use. So he got a 93 to Ashurnasirpal's 85.''

''For physicality it the edge had to go to Ashurnasirpal as he hailed from a harsher environment and was on the move more so than Caesar was. 89 to an 81 respectively.''

''Fifth is endurance and this once again falls into Ashurnasirpal's favor as he was the younger, well that's what we think since we don't know his real age but we had to consider Caesar most likely was the older between these two. Plus the Assyrian was constantly on the move again and in excellent physical condition. 89 to an 88.

''Last we have brutality and this one was no brainer at all. Ashurnasirpal was the hands down winner as he had people flayed alive, burned cities down, tererorized civilians. If you were alive during his time you in no way were safe from this guy. He got a perfect 100 to Caesar's 84.''

Our panel has completed the necessary data and now it is all plugged in. Metal will run one-thousand battles to determine our winner pitting Julius Caesar and 4 Roman legionaries against Ashurnasirpal II and 4 Assyrian soldiers. All warriors will dawn the same armor as their leaders.

The man who turned the Roman republic into the famed Roman empire

(Caesar stands before his men as they all cheer wildly as they had won a battle against their enemies.)

vs. The man who expanded the Neo-Assyrian empire to some of it's greatest lengths

(Ashurnasirpal and his men battle an army of Babylonians, they charge their adversaries and both sides meet.)

''In the end, only one ancient general will be left standing. Let's find out now!" Metal exclaimed in pure excitement before hitting the key.

XXXXXX

The battle takes us to the dry deserts of what is modern-day Syria and we see the Roman dictator Julius Caesar and four of his Roman legionaries trekking the desert.

There has been words from a scout that en empire from this area was planning on challenging Rome and the dictator wanted to intercept this threat before they made their way to Roman territory and in penance he will conquer this empire.

Julius Caesar: 5

Elsewhere, great Assyrian king Ashurnasirpal II and four of his best men walk through the desert as they were to embark on a journey to perform scouting missions against the Romans so that they may act accordingly and hopefully win against them to expand the Neo-Assyrian empire's borders.

Ashurnasirpal II: 5

One of the legionaries informs the Roman dictator that they have been on the move for almost two days straight, so Caesar finally decides to take a break and the Romans go to a nearby river bed to rest their tired bones. Unknown to them in the distance however, Ashurnasirpal II and his soldiers emerge from the other side and spot the clueless Romans.

The Assyrian king orders his two archers to ready their bows while the other two soldiers take their tall wicker shields and covers the archers. The king himself positioned behind one of the shields.

With the order given, the archers then unleash their arrows upon the unsuspecting Romans. One of the legionaries is struck dead in the throat and he is left gagging before he goes limp. The second arrow coming short of hitting Caesar.

Julius Caesar: 4 - Ashurnasirpal II: 5

Caught by sudden surprise, Caesar jumps up and looks towards the other side of the river bed and spots two tall wicker shields just as two more arrows come flying their direction.

''Scutum hostibus ducant!'' Caesar shouts.

His men then lift their scutums up and the two legionaries that were targeted manage to block the arrows with their scutums. Caesar then shouts for his men to charge and with their weapons unleash battle cries as they rush towards the Assyrians.

Seeing the charging Romans Ashurnasiral orders his men to cease their arrow volleys and the two archers comply by discarding their bows. One takes out a khopesh while the other grabs his spear.

The Assyrians then charge back at the Romans and in the midst of their brazen charge a legionary takes a pilum and hurls it at the Assyrians and manages to skewer one of them through the gut.

Julius Caesar: 4 - Ashurnasirpal II: 4

Eventually the two sides meet in a clash of steel and iron. One Assyrian soldier armed with a dagger challenges a legionary armed with a scutum and gladius.

The Assyrian tries to go in for a forward thrust with his dagger but the legionary stands his ground and allows the dagger to impact the surface of his scutum.

The dagger bounces off like it was nothing and taking advantage of the opening the legionary takes his gladius and shoves it into the Assyrian warrior's chest killing him. He coughs up blood before the Roman kicks him off his sword.

Julius Caesar: 4 - Ashurnasirpal II: 3

The Roman's victory is short lived when Ashurnasirpal sneaks behind him and swings his khopesh decapitating the Roman soldier. The head flopping and rolling away.

Julius Caesar: 3 - Ashurnasirpal II: 3

Elsewhere in the ensuing chaos an Assyrian and another legionary go at it with their respective spears. The Assyrian thrusting his spear at the Roman but the latter easily blocks the blow with his scutum and tries to counter the Assyrian by thrusting his own hasta at the man.

The spear pierces clean through the wickerwork shield catching the Assyrian by surprise but he quickly lets go of the shield and rushes around it to the Roman's unprotected side but the Roman's superior training allowed him to react to the assault he bashes the Assyrian away knocking him down to the ground.

He runs over and takes his chance to stab the Assyrian straight through his armor hitting him in the heart.

Julius Caesar: 3 - Ashurnasirpal II: 2

As he watches the Assyrian go limp the legionary retracts his hasta from the man's body and upon hearing yelling coming from his side he turns to face another Assyrian coming right at him with a spear but it was already too late as he has his face impaled right at the mouth.

Julius Caesar: 2 - Ashurnasirpal II: 2

With Caesar he is seen charging for the last Assyrian soldier joined by his last man and together the two of them swing their weapons at the Assyrian trying to overwhelm him. Due to his wickerwork shield the Assyrian is left shieldless when Caesar swings his gladius horizontally and as such, the shield falls apart.

The legionary then takes his chance to shield bash the Assyrian only for the man to jump quickly to the side and with his dagger swings and she slices open the Roman's throat. The legionary gagging as he crumples to the ground.

Julius Caesar: 1 - Ashurnasirpal II: 2

Caesar only shakes his head watching his last man die and viciously charges the Assyrian and swings his gladius only for Ashurnasirpal to appear and intercept the blow with his khopesh and kicks Caesar away to create distance.

The Roman dictator momentarily staggers before regaining his footing and glares at his enemies with his scutum held protectively in front of him.

Ashurnasirpal and his last soldier charge the Roman and it would be the soldier who greets Caesar first by taking his dagger and swinging away but Caesar raises his scutum and blocks the blow before taking his pugio from his belt and thrusts it into the Assyrian's throat and kicking his body aside.

Julius Caesar: 1 - Ashurnasirpal II: 1

The Roman general had no time to celebrate his kill when he turns to see the Assyrian king charging right at him and he swung his khopesh hoping to catch the dictator off guard but Caesar manages to raise his scutum in time to intercept the attack.

Ashurnasirpal then shoves the Roman back causing him to once again lose his footing and he follows up with a flurry of swings with his khopesh hoping to land a blow on his opposition.

Caesar was just barely able to keep up with the swings until eventually the khopesh is swung with enough force that it knocks his helmet off sending it clanging onto the sand. He sees Ashurnasirpal swing again and this time he brings his gladius up to block the blow but the sword is knocked from his hand.

The Roman then realizes he has no weapons left and with all his might shoves at the great Assyrian king knocking the wind out of him and onto the ground but he kept his grip on his sickle-sword. Caesar rushes over to scoop up his gladius and when he turns around Ashurnasirpal was already on him and swung the khopesh hitting him right in the rib cage causing the dictator to groan out in pain as he felt a rib crack from the impact.

However, he doesn't give in to the pain as he bashes the Assyrian king's khopesh away and this was enough to stop the Assyrian in his tracks. Caesar then takes a spare pugio from his side and drives it deep into Ashurnasirpal's stomach.

The blade managing to pierce the iron lamellar. Ashurnasirpal cries out in agony as Caesar takes the pugio and drives it into his chest dropping a lung before letting go and watches as the Assyrian falls onto his knees.

The man's screams making the Roman dictator smile he scoops up his gladius looks at the bleeding king. Saying nothing, the Roman dictator simply swings his gladius and in one fell swoop, he decapitates the wounded king.

Julius Caesar: 1- Ashurnasirpal II: 0

Watching the neck wound bleed the Roman dictator nods in satisfaction before raising his bloodied gladius into the air shouting; ''Nam Romae!''

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Winner: Julius Caesar

Julius Caesar: 551

Gladius: 220

Hasta: 167

Pilum: 79

Pugio: 85

Ashurnasirpal II: 449

Khopesh: 168

Assyrian Spear: 157

Assyrian Composite Bow: 95

Assyrian Dagger: 29

X-Factors

Generalship: 89/Generalship: 78

Metallurgy: 82/Metallurgy: 69

Logistics: 93/Logistics: 85

Physicality: 81/Physicality: 89

Endurance: 88/Endurance: 89

Brutality: 85/Brutality: 100

Armor Failure Rate

Lorica Hamata: 4% - Iron-Padded Lamellar: 10%

Coolus Helmet: 2% - Iron Helmet: 4%

Scutum: 1% - Wickerwork Shield: 15%

Pteryges: 0% - No armor

Following a very brutal struggle between two BC era generals, it would be Julius Caesar who would emerge victorious with a close 55.1% to Ashurnasirpal II's 44.9%. It was largely thanks to his superior metallurgy and better skill set as a general that allowed him to triumph. The deadliest weapon profiled in the simulator was his gladius followed by his hasta.

''Even though Caesar lacked an effective long range weapon, when things got up close his better steel blades proved too much for the Assyrian king to handle.'' DAM explained.

''Doesn't matter how brutal you are, if your weapons and armor aren't holding up to whatever your opponent is bringing that won't matter. Ashurnasirpal dominated long range but Caesar had the weapons and armor on his side.'' Zivon added.

''It makes sense. Ashurnasirpal's slash heavy weaponry was negated by the Lorica Hamata and the scutum. Combined with how the Romans used the gladius in conjunction with their shield was also a factor.'' Demigod inquired.

''Caesar had better weapons overall, his soldiers were superbly trained and were great at battling less organized forces like the Assyrians for example. It goes to show why Caesar is the most famous man to ever come from ancient Rome. Congratulations to the man who transformed the Roman republic into the empire we all know.'' Rice Man concluded.

(Caesar is seen trekking across the desert ready to head back to the nearest base camp. Drained from the battle he cannot wait to order the full scale invasion of the Assyrian empire and in his hand was the khopesh that he will hang proudly at home as a memento of his newest conquest.)

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Next time on Deadliest Warrior: Rice Man's Edition, two of the western world's most famous and elite military units go toe-to-toe for battlefield domination.

Kommando Speziakräfte: The elite special forces unit of the German Bundeswehr whose training and use of psychological warfare make them feared by terrorists worldwide.

vs.

U.S. Army Rangers: The United States Army's premiere airborne light infantry unit who are the first boots on the ground in any foreign conflict.

WHO..IS..DEADLIEST?!