The buzz of the courtroom had not died down in the past half hour since Mabel's burst. Alongside her brother and Goland, they made a hasty but concrete declaration to work alongside one another. With the confused and upset judge's approval (which was more out of frustration over Mabel than anything else), they were able to prepare a defense. That was until Mabel vanished half way through the half-hour.
Dipper, now seated next to Goland and his five sweaty and smelly clients, nervously shifted in his seat. "I knew I shouldn't have let her go without asking why," he grumbled.
"Pardon?" Goland tilted himself towards Dipper.
"Mabel," he sighed, "She's, uh, gone awol again."
"Awol?"
"Missing," Dipper clarified, "Man, like Yuki all over again."
The Sasquatch crooked his mouth, and eyed the room at large. "I was under the impression she said she'd return," Goland reminded him, fidgeting with his wrinkled tie.
"Mabel's perception of time and space aren't the same as everyone else's," Dipper huffed.
Goland exclaimed, with a smile, "Oh! A unique gift. Does she see things in the past or the future?"
Dipper glared at him first. Only then did he realize that Goland's question wasn't entirely off. "The past," Dipper snorted.
"Well now," a slimy, overly charismatic voice called over from a desk, and Dipper spotted Gideon turning to him, "Not to bother you, and your important discussions, but I believe the judge called for a half-hour recess."
"He did, Gleeful," Dipper snarled.
"Well, as my very correct and punctual watch will inform you," Gideon lifted his arm and displayed an equally tacky blue and white watch on his forearm, "It is past that time."
"Indeed," the judge snorted, clearing his nose with a quick rub from the back of his hand, "Where is your sister at this moment, Mister Pines?"
"I assure you, your honor," Dipper stood, "Any moment, she will be-"
"Here!"
Dipper and the entire room turned to the sight of Mabel's arrival. She clearly had intended to use those fifteen minutes. Dipper's mouth dropped open. He wanted to smile- it was perfectly like her to do something like that, but in this situation, it could hurt their case.
Mabel now wore pair of slim, dangerous looking sunglasses fit for a high-class lawyer. A snazzy, stripped dress-suit was adorned of navy and gray. A trio of buttons were adorned over her heart, one being of a huge footprint in the dirt saying 'You know what they say about big feet'. The second was of a cartoony Gideon from three years ago, one of the now defunct spying cameras, with a large red X over the face. The last one was of Waddles himself, asleep and in his perfectly round form with the words 'Quid-pro-bacon'.
"Thank you for being patient, your honor," Mabel winked as she gently lowered half the glasses, "I was becoming properly adorned for the local set-up."
"Really?" Dipper asked her as she sat next to him, "You look like you're from a New York bar exam or something."
Mabel posed to him, "Do you even know what those look like, though?" Dipper shrunk back in his seat, only slightly pouting.
Across the aisle, their opponent exclaimed. "Mabel, my word," Gideon said from his chair, "You look absolutely-"
"Gideon, you watch what you say to me!" Mabel pointed at him, "Because now I'm an official representative! I'll slap some legal jargon on your face so fast it'll be super-sonic! Because it's sonic, and from me, so it's SUPER!"
The judge growled and banged the Gavel. "Now that both the defense and plaintiff are present, we can perhaps proceed with this most upsetting and alarming case." He turned to the twins and Goland, "You have the floor."
Goland gasped, and asked, "Literally?"
"He means we speak our case now," Dipper explained quickly.
"Ohh," The sasquatch snorted, "That makes much more sense. Well, I'll give it a shot-"
"You sure you have it?" Mabel asked him with a worried grimace.
"Yeah, last time you weren't really good on the human court procedures," Dipper added on.
"Friends," Goland patted Dipper's shoulder with his massive palm, "I may be a novice to these proceedings, but I understand how to captivate. Let me try."
With that, the Sasquatch raised himself up from his seat, and strode around the twins. His hands were at his back, and he stared from the judge, to Gideon, to the room around him. With one large breath, he yawned and then held a hand aloft, as if supporting it for a small ball in his palm.
"Our world, dear friends, is such a tiny speck. We live, all as one, in a cosmos so infinitely large and unthinkably complicated, that we must realize that what little time we spend together is cherished. This land, this air, this space, well, this very moment," he looked around, indicating with his hand, "Is shared all together, as one. These moments of union, of alliance, of peace, propel us into a future more prosperous and more beautiful than all the flowers' colors, and all the morning birds cries put together. We mustn't let such small indifferences such as 'land value' halt the way to grow together. We are cousins, all of us – Sasquatch and Homosapiens. The times change around us, and we are now closer than ever to really acknowledging one another as neighbors. Friends, let us use this chance to really, really jump into the future as one union, and not divided."
He paused, letting his words echo around the courtroom before him. Blank faces and dropped jaws were the most common feature as he looked around. Dipper's own mouth was open in awe. Mabel however frowned.
"And that is why my clients should not be judged guilty and be forced to their sentence. Thank you for listening," Goland nodded, and strode back to his seat.
"Wow," Dipper padded his shoulder, "That was... actually pretty cool."
"Thank you," Goland smiled.
"But did it really help?" Mabel asked worriedly.
"What do you mean?" Dipper asked, his smile resisting the urge to falter.
Then Gideon stood up, clearing his throat and brushing his well-groomed clothing. "Well, y'all," he chuckled, "That was a whole lot, wasn't it?" he turned to the audience behind him, "Now just who here understood that?"
Wendy and Soos raised their hands, alone.
Gideon snorted. "As I expected. Quite a lot, wasn't it?" Gideon asked. "Let's re-iterate what's really going on though folks, instead of trying to make these grand fantasies."
"Objection!" Goland shot up, "Nothing I said was a fantasy!"
"Sir, you cannot object to an opening statement," Gideon reminded him politely.
"He's right. Now, sit down, you oaf," the judge snarled, less politely. "Continue, mister Gleeful."
"Oh, judge, call me Gideon," the puffy man chuckled, "Nah, I'm kidding, that'd be against legal procedure." Happily, Gideon faced the crowd.
"Well folks, let's get this straight. We're dealing with a town that needs a lot of work. Just like the rest of America. We're in a nation that is being neglected. Look at our poor roads," he lifted a finger, "Our water supplies," another finger, "Power-lines, bridges, subways, buss routs – heck, our botanical gardens are left alone and withering with time! Positively archaic!"
"I liked the town's gardens," Mabel quietly sniffed.
Mister Gleeful had more to say on the matter. "We've got a whole tone of work that the federal government won't do! Who's going to do 'em? You? C'mon folks, you got plenty on your plate! The local government? Well, they're also busy keeping you safe from hooligans! What we need are decisive, proud, risk-taking people like myself to step in and do the dirty work themselves!" Gideon pointed to himself, and half the crowd began to clap. "That's right! I'll be spending hard earned, totally legal cash to make your city entirely up-to-date, and not crumbling apart at its concrete hitches."
The townsfolk were hooting and calling out to him. Slowly, his name was being chanted. Yet he shook his head and held his arms up.
"Look folks, I appreciate your following, but this can only happen if you let it. You see, these fellas over here," he thrust an accusatory finger towards the Sasquatches, "Are too proud of their small set of land! They won't allow you a highway that'll allow for more and more tourism to come through these parts! Providing you folks with money! Fame! Attention! Ain't that something to want!?" he demanded, and the crowds hollered with approval.
Gideon, having fully captured the attention of all, smirked. "What we got here ya'll, is a chance. These five stand in the way to make this town great. Great! Heck, if we work together, not just great." He held up a button with his outline, proudly busting his chest forward as the American flag waved behind it. "We'll make it Gleeful! And that's a family guarantee!" he said, and pinned the button onto his jacket. "Thank you, your honor," he nodded to the judge, and took his seat.
As applause and whistles came for Gideon, Dipper grumbled, "He's got a catchphrase now that's not 'widdle'."
"Ugh, don't say that word," Mabel grumbled.
"Very well. Defense," the judge turned back to the three, "You have the floor."
"Okay, so," Goland leaned to the twins, "Who shall speak first?"
"As an official senator, there's a very technical way of deciding this," Mabel then lifted her palm, into a fist.
"Really, Mabel?" Dipper scowled.
"Gentlemen," she said, "Rock-paper-scissors."
The next two hours were a blur; mixed with cheers, whistles, and scowling.
As the defense went on, Mabel was once again able to convince the judge that not only should the defense get a chance to fully explain themselves and their situation, but that each of the three defense attorneys should speak independently. To her growing anger, Gideon seemed to have no problem with that; agreeing with her on the outcome.
"Come now, Mabel, dear," Gideon winked at her, "Surely you understand that you'll need as much leeway as you can get. I'm a fair man, that's all."
"I'll 'fair man' your jaw if you don't shush," Mabel grumbled as she had stood, prepared to speak her own defense.
The three together made a fair point. As they all spoke, each took a turn explaining a facet of the Sasquatches side of the story. Goland was excellent at bringing to point their lifestyle and how they value land differently; they see land not just as a home, but as work place and a lifestyle. Sasquatch do not 'own land', but co-exist with it. Their home is their ultimate calling, and where they decide to settle down is a large responsibility. Sadly, it was only the defenses side that gained much positive response.
Dipper's attempt was mildly more successful. His tactic was aggressive: he dissected Gideon's plan.
"While Gideon's plan may not be far-fetched," Dipper called about the room, "To build a highway through the swamps and forests not only causes undue ecological stress, but costs millions of dollars! This is a nice town, but can you say that you have a few million dollars lying around just to throw away at a-"
"Objection your honor!" Gideon rose.
"On what?" Dipper snapped. "The town doesn't have the finances to back this project! I checked it online, just now," he lifted his phone, showing a small screen of the town's website, "And their projected budget yearly!"
"The claim of the 'throwing away' of money is an injustice! I wish for the whole statement to be disregarded, as the town is not being technically charged for this project," Gideon proudly proclaimed.
The judge nodded. "Sustained. You may continue, Mister Pines."
Sadly, Dipper hadn't the backing afterwards to continue. He eventually took his seat, flustered and frustrated that his evidence had been refuted and entirely ignored.
As he took his seat, his sister had taken to rise, pat him on the back, and strode out. With a dramatic twirl, sprawling her hair through the air, she stood before the eyes of the room and proudly declared, "Gideon Gleeful is the biggest jerk-wad in all of Gravity Falls!"
"Objection!" Gideon stood, resisting the urge to smile at Mabel despite her harsh words, "This is a biased opinion, not a fact-"
"It's unbiased and less of an opinion and more of an onion! It's got layers! Of truth!" Mabel roared.
"Order! Senator Pines," the judge snapped at Mabel, "You will present the evidence to such claims, or else be stricken from the records."
"My claims!?" Mabel barked, "How about first, second, third, and forth hand dealings!" Mabel snapped. "My brother, his crush-"
"Mabel!" Dipper shouted at her, his face fire-red
"Sorry, his 'complicated one'," Mabel quoted with a huff.
"That's like us," Gideon winked.
"Shut up!" She roared, "And our good friend all had to deal with a younger version of Gideon! He was a conniving, scheming, cruel, and self-entitled brat who tried to kill my brother at least three times, and kidnap me at least three!"
"Are those mentioned, these eye-witnesses aside from yourself and Mister Pines," the judge snapped at Mabel, "Present?"
"Yeah man," Wendy stood up, avoiding looking towards Dipper, which was not entirely difficult since he shrunk into his seat at Wendy's voice.
Soos also stood, adding a meek, "And yeah, present, dude."
Mabel, holding a hand behind herself to the two friends, declared, "I have at least two who would be willing to speak, aside from myself and my bro-bro."
"Your honor," Gideon rose, "I am willing to allow these two to speak."
"You- wait," Mabel did a double take, "You would?"
"You would?" the judge also asked.
"Yes. On a condition," Gideon added.
"What?" Mabel groaned.
"You speak about me like who I was is who I am," Gideon pointed out, "Our characters change. We are conditioned and grow as we age. It's been three years since these people and myself have been near one another."
"Three nice years at that," Mabel snarled, and adjusted her anti-Gideon button.
"Your honor, if they wish to gauge my character using these two, I wish to bring forward testimony to represent my current character," he said.
"Whom might that be?" the judge asked.
Gideon turned around, and hollered, "Which of ya'll would like to speak on my behalf for my current character?"
The entire side of the room behind Gideon's desk, and his father, stood up.
"Absolutely not!" the judge snapped, "I intend to keep this case within the time-restraints of this day! Also, Senator," he glared at Mabel, "Bringing to mention the status, character, or intents of Gideon gleeful does not change what the five being accused have done! Objection sustained!"
"But wait," Mabel scrambled for her phone, "They have a whole section online about the horrible things he did, at Gravity Falls- look!" Mabel pressed the buttons on her pay-phone. Only then did she realize that the website for Gravity Falls was blank. "What?!" she gasped. "But... it's not here at all?"
The Judge was clearly done with her antics. He warned her, "Senator Pines, the objection has been sustained. Now continue, or be seated!"
With that, Mabel slumped back down into her seat.
What followed was an utter clobbering.
Gideon was the perfect speaker. He was charismatic, engaging, and entirely pleasant. His craft of people-manipulation hadn't just gotten better- it was light-years better. Despite their hatred for someone as repulsive and shallow like Gideon Gleeful, they had to admit, they were up against someone who was on their home-field turf, and had honed their skills.
"Folks, we have all heard the saying 'the needs of the many over the few'," Gideon finalized, "And this should entirely justify this. Why should five, who are entirely capable of moving onto other lands for their love of the earth, force us to deny growth to this lovely town?"
The grumbles and nods of approval from his side were abundant and clear.
"Because our tasks take us hundreds of years!" Goland rose up, "You ever try tending an apple tree to maturity!?"
"You are out of order, sir!" the judge snapped.
"He has a point!" Dipper also stood up. "Centuries of work versus months of labor is no comparison! Quality over quantity of life!"
"Sir, you both will be seated! Unless you have something to object to, you will remain seated until it is your turn to speak. Is that clear?!" he yelled.
The two fell back, red in the face and flustered. Dipper turned to his sister, who was staring at her phone, angrily trying to open new pages.
"Mabel, we could use your help!" Dipper hissed at her.
"I'm checking something," Mabel growled.
"Surfing the web won't help."
"That you know of," she retorted.
"Fellas, friends, your honor," Gideon looked around, and winked at Mabel, "Sweetums," he added.
Mabel slapped her face against the table as hard as she could without breaking her nose purposefully.
Gideon spun slow, ensuring he could get as many to see him as he spoke. "My family company made it clear we would rather work along with these folks. Not get in their way. But they, after various warnings and urges to re-locate with our help, remained instead. They have chosen to assault and attack our workers, and halt the progress this town so desperately needs. With that, the clear victim should be clear – you folk," Gideon sadly stated, and hung his head. "Your honor, thank you."
"Yes, yes," the judge growled. "Court will now take an hour-long recess. You are excused," the judge snarled, and banged the gavel.
"Seriously," Dipper punched his sister's arm, "We could have had your help."
"Ow," she grumbled, and bopped his head with the phone, "I needed to check this! Look," she showed him, "Gravity Falls websites don't exist! And the social websites for the people who lived there are gone. I can't find Candy or Grenda's stuff on Facetome anywhere."
"Really?" Dipper looked at the phone. "Not only do some people not know of it who should, but the internet doesn't have any records?"
A voice cleared its throat next to Mabel, and the twins looked over to the squat man, who was presenting his trademark smile of evil.
"Go away, Gideon," Mabel growled.
"Now listen," Gideon put his hands together gently, "I want to explain – I understand why you're trying to do this."
Dipper raised his eyebrows, almost amused. He argued, "Do you? We doubt it."
"As far as I know, you Pines enjoy playin' devil's advocate to higher powers. Myself, Mister Cipher," he listed, "You know – them higher powers."
Seething already, Mabel mocked him. "It's because you 'higher powers'," Mabel quoted, "are usually jerks who try hurting people."
"Selfishly, at that," Dipper agreed.
"Call it what you will," Gideon rolled his eyes, "But I want to make myself clear. I'm a changed man. I don't care for petty schemes like that no more," he said, looming over their seated positions. "My days as a scoundrel are way-behind me. I will, read my lips, become a public official and government success one day. I have worked too hard, made too many amends, and cleared too much details in my past to let you," Gideon glared at Dipper with a burning in his eyes, "Get in my way. I will rue your day should you again stand in my path!" he hissed. "But Mabel, if you ever want to stand in my way, I'll stop for you and let you speak your mind, you know? Then we'd go on a lovely date."
"Ew!" Mabel groaned.
"Well," Gideon turned, entirely un-touched by her reaction, "I'm off. Have your own hour to recuperate. After all, I imagine losing a case takes almost as much preparation as winning one," he snorted, and laughed his way away. Wendy, at the edge of the seats, extended her foot and tripped him. Slamming into the floor, Gideon stumbled up in a flash, desperate to prevent anyone from seeing his plight to the floor.
"At least he isn't infallible," Dipper grumbled as he and his sister watched him leave.
Feeling a little less like she was drowning, Mabel admitted, "Yeah, like he can still be tripped."
"No, I mean, he still isn't above threatening us to get what he wants," Dipper explained.
"Oh, that too," Mabel hummed. As she mused Dipper's thought, she spied the side behind his Desk. People were still excitedly talking about him as he left, pointing and motioning towards the doors. "I wish people saw him just then," Mabel grumbled, "Instead of when he was acting."
"Yeah," Dipper nodded, "If only there was a way to incrim... wait!" Dipper stood up.
"What is it?" Gold asked, glancing from his seat to the male twin.
Dipper, his eyes widening as his mind raced to new conclusions, declared, "We may have a way to beat this case without even having to legally do so!"
"Humma-hummana-whaa?" Mabel babbled.
Dipper asked of Mabel, "Just think about Gideon for a moment."
"Can I not? Seeing him again is more than enough," she said.
"He always has an ulterior motive to these things. Wants to re-build the infrastructure of America? Yeah right! What if instead he's placing mind-control devices everywhere, or secret robots he can call to action wherever he goes?" Dipper asked.
"Okay, that sounds totally like the little hair-spray," Mabel nodded. "But how is that going to win the case?"
"Gideon's claim, and his popularity, are the same. If we can shatter the backing this town has with him by showing the people that his claim isn't as polished and pretty as he says," Dipper explained, "Then we can force him out of court! He'd have to drop out."
"Oh! Dang it," Mabel slipped out her phone again, "Maybe if... these stupid websites!" she cried out, "If anything from Gravity Falls was still around, he could totally use that as some sort of help."
"Yeah," Dipper nodded, and he glanced to Soos and Wendy. "Mabel," he said to his side, "Stay here. I'm going to find something."
"Huh?" Mabel asked as Dipper stepped around her. "What'cha mean?"
"I'm going to sneak into Gideon's place," he whispered, "And find out what's really going on."
"That's stupid dangerous though. He could have crazy-wazy magical protections, or stuff!"
Dipper clenched his jaw tightly shut. A quick reply would have gotten himself into trouble, and so he restrained. His practice and planning paid off, and he looked to her with a worried stare. "Mabel, you've trained me in the paths. I'll be fine. Okay?" he asked of her.
Frowning, Mabel nodded. "Fine. I'll come with you though."
"No, Mabel-"
"I'll distract him!" Mabel insisted, standing as well. "If there's two things we know about Gideon, it's that he's scum, and that he's never going to refuse a chance to... ugh... flirt with me," Mabel gagged after speaking. "Sorry... just saying that makes me want to go through a de-contamination."
"Alright," Dipper nodded, "But you need to stay back. There's no telling what could happen if he caught both of us at this."
"You're going in alone?" she whined.
Dipper turned towards Wendy, who noticed his stare. "Not exactly," Dipper grinned.
The quad and pig were back in the car and down the road within five minutes. Speeding down the road, they made it towards the office building that the Gleeful organization was located. On the way, the plan was solidified.
"So, as Mabel distracts Gideon with her feminine whiles," Soos recapped, "and I make sure she's all safe, Wendy and Dipper sneak inside and look through the stuff and things."
"Yeah, pretty much sums it up," Dipper nodded as he drove, Soos in shotgun. "Wendy's better at lockpicking and stuff, and I know my way around an office."
Wendy snorted, "Can't say I do."
Dipper, focusing ahead, continued with detailing. "Once we get evidence to suggest that he's up to no good, we'll exit. Mabel," Dipper glanced in the mirror to his sister, "If Gideon's heading our way, text us. Otherwise, I'll text you to distract him enough that he wouldn't notice us leaving."
"Or knock him out so that he can't notice at all," Mabel nodded.
"Killing him, while solves a lot of my anger issues," Dipper grumbled, "Won't save the case. It'd just make things worse. We need to ruin his reputation, not end his life."
Soos asked, "Isn't that the same thing?" The three laughed, and Soos chuckled. "But seriously, isn't it?"
"Here we are," Dipper said as he pulled to a side-street spot and parked. To their right was the building, several stories tall. "Okay. Let's do this. Mabel, Soos, take the front."
"Storming the beaches!" Mabel cried, and she and Soos left the car in a hurry.
"Good luck, dudes," Soos waved back to Wendy and Dipper.
Dipper and Wendy, looking to each other once, and then to Waddles as he snorted at them, finally left the car in silence. The side of the building had an alleyway, and the two approached it.
"So, if I recall, his office was on the third floor," Dipper mentioned as they entered the shadowed area.
"Seems right," Wendy nodded, looking up with him.
"How are we getting up there?" Dipper asked.
Wendy nudged him and pointed up. Above them was a fire-escape. "How about some acrobatics?" she winked at him, and made towards a large steel trash compactor. With only the slightest of a huff, Wendy jumped, grabbed the top, and was already six feet higher up than normal. "Climb up, man," she said, offering a hand to Dipper. With a firm grin, Dipper followed suit, taking her hand and being lifted up with a surprising tug.
"Dang, Wendy," Dipper said as he stood with her, waving his arm in a circle, "You've been working out in secret?"
She glanced at him, and shook her head. "No. That's just being a wraith for you."
"Wait, what?" Dipper gasped. "Being undead makes you super-strong?"
"Kind of," Wendy shrugged, "I mean, I can't physically tire. So, I think whenever my muscles would have given up, they just keep going. So, I guess I have some sort of super-endurance." She ran forward, and kicked off the side of the building, grabbing the end of a collapsible ladder. With her weight on one end, she managed to yank down the access ladder. "And boom – one sneaky way into an otherwise locked office."
"Nice job," Dipper grinned as he followed her up the ladder.
"No problem, man," she smirked at him and rushed upwards. Dipper felt a blush in his cheeks flare, but only for a moment. He had more pressing matters to attend to than, say, notice her butt whenever he climbed up after her. That being said, he did note that it was a wonderful butt.
Wendy made it to the third floor, and stopped just outside the window's sight. Waving Dipper up, she pointed towards the glass. "Closed, and it looks locked."
"I got it," Dipper said, and peered past her into the office room. The space was harder to see past the glass, but his quick scan revealed it was devoid of presence. With his scan a success, Dipper reached inside his jacket and withdrew journal three.
"Dipper," Wendy said with a tone of warning.
"I'm getting this window to unlock itself," he told her before turning pages.
"I thought you only did that when things got really bad," she reminded him, "Like the Chinese warriors."
"We can't break the windows. If we do, we could be linked to the scene. Magic will get us in and undetected," Dipper explained.
"Dude, you know I'm okay with, you know," she shifted in her stance, "Supporting you for these sorts of things."
"Okay," Dipper glanced to her, uncertain of her meaning.
"But you can't just hide this from your sister," she sighed.
Dipper felt a little warm. A tad quieter than before, Dipper grumbled, "Mabel's got enough on her mind than to deal with me dabbling a little into magic."
"She wouldn't like it," Wendy stated.
"That's because Zander wouldn't," Dipper pointed out. Wendy's lips tightened, and she held back, her gaze turning away. "What?" Dipper asked, noticing her shifting.
"Nothing," she shook her head, "Just, uh, thinking about that."
Dipper stared at her for a solid moment. Her body language wasn't defensive, nor withholding. Dipper knew her words to be cryptic, but her tone never betrayed her, nor her posture. She was locked tight. Keeping her strange answer a locked memory, Dipper waved his hand over the page.
"Ah," he mumbled, and then spoke aloud the script, his hand directed at the window, "Patefacio porta." With a dull click, a lock from the window slid itself open, and the glass pan slid upwards, providing entry. "We're in."
Slipping inside the room was not challenge. The lights were still off, and Dipper heard no noises from outside the door. The inside of the office was sickeningly Gideon-like. Pictures of him with children, small animals, sick and disabled, other politicians: there wasn't a single frame without Gideon's smiling mug inside.
"Okay man, now what?" Wendy asked, landing like a feather behind him.
Dipper scanned the room. Various filing cabinets layered against the walls provided possible answers, but Dipper knew too well of Gideon. They were easy for anyone to stumble into. What he needed was something more... secret.
"Look behind all the pictures. Try to find a safe, or something secret," Dipper told her.
The two split ways. Dipper approached the desk, and began to rifle about. Through the main drawer he pushed around pens, papers, more Gideon Gleeful paraphernalia, and an unhealthy amount of hair-spray. What folders he did find in the desk were recent.
"The highway reports," Dipper mumbled, and placed his collection on the desk, "Several water-treatment plant constructions, a power plant... he really likes his infrastructure," he mentioned to Wendy, across the room.
"And he loves his own face," Wendy groaned as she pushed over two frames at the same time, trying to find some secret.
Dipper snorted, "What else is new."
Back in the pages, Dipper noticed that the pay for each of the constructions. "Man, how is Gideon not bankrupt? He's throwing away huge amounts of money on these things!"
"Maybe blackmail or something? Illegal black-market trade?" Wendy asked, continuing her search.
"I think there are spells that replicate money," Dipper mused. Wendy blinked, and stared at him. "I wouldn't use it, though," Dipper cleared his throat.
"But wouldn't he?" she asked him.
"You're... right," Dipper nodded, "If Gideon had a way to create a near infinite source of income, he wouldn't send it away for these people. He'd live in the lap of luxury."
"So how is he doing it?" she asked him.
"I... don't know," Dipper said, "I mean, he was wealthy. He had enough money from his exploits in Gravity Falls to continue using the name Gleeful and his families company name past being kicked out..." Dipper looked further into the papers, and noticed that most of them had been torn at the left corner. "That's funny," Dipper noticed, feeling the torn paper.
"Huh?" Wendy asked.
"I think these all were stapled," Dipper told her, holding up one paper, "Looks like someone tried to remove staples, or tear these from packets, or something. See?"
"Right," Wendy nodded, her eyes glazing over as she turned back, staring at the pictures.
Dipper's hand fell, slightly crestfallen. That same look she wore was from earlier. With a grunt, Dipper tried gently asking. "So, uh, something on your mind?"
She looked half-at him. "You could say that."
"You're thinking about that thing from earlier?" he asked.
"Yeah."
"Okay. What's up?" he said, laying down the paper.
Wendy looked worried. "Dipper, don't take this the wrong way, but I'm... not much a fan of magic either."
Dipper's mind felt a cold numbness wash over. "Oh," he quickly said.
"I know you're better at it than Robbie was," she explained, walking closer, "But magic did... get me in this situation," she said, indicating her body.
"You'd be dead if it wasn't for him though," Dipper reminded her quietly.
She stalled long enough in her answer that Dipper focused on her longer. Before he had a chance to speak, Wendy shrugged, and simply said, "Yeah, I guess so."
"Wait, Wendy," Dipper slapped down the pages and approached her, "You're... your not saying you'd prefer that, right?"
"No," she sighed.
"Wendy."
"Look, it's hard," Wendy ran a hand through her hair, "Like... I thought that being around you guys would make it easier, you know? Having something to put my mind off this. But when I was still just camping in the woods, I didn't have to, just, watch you guys' sleep. Eat. Drink. Like, I can't do these things man. Even if I wanted to, they just end up hurting so bad I might as well die."
"But magic could be the cure," Dipper assured her.
"We don't know that," Wendy pointed out.
"Yet," Dipper pointed out, "We just need a push in the right direction. Someone who knows more about this than us," Dipper sighed, "I can't believe I'm saying this, but this is the sort of thing Grunkle Ford may have known about."
She eyed him, doubt brimming in her. "Would he have helped?" Wendy asked.
"Probably, actually," Dipper nodded, "It wouldn't be in Bill's schemes to have you be powerful with death, so he'd probably help us try curing you."
Wendy nodded and snorted. "And to think, all we got looking down on us is this ugly mug," he shoved a thumb next to them, to a particularly large portrait of Gideon, who was staring down on them with a thumbs up.
Dipper stared at it for a moment. "Did you try this one yet?"
Wendy slowly shook her head, and moved forward. With a heavy grunt, she pulled a side of the frame aside. Waiting behind it was a safe.
"Bingo," Dipper grinned. "Hold it steady," he asked.
"Doing my best," Wendy grinned.
"Patefacio porta," he said quietly. Pointing to the safe, the electronic safe beeped to life, punched in its own code, and then activated it's disarm. Without another beep, the door opened up. Dipper reached inside, pushing past several pictures of a young Mabel, and what appeared to be crayon-drawings of Gideon's plans in jail to break out and kill the Pines Family, and found a folder.
"Is that what we need?" Wendy asked.
"Don't know. Let's see," Dipper said, and removed the first of many papers. "Hah, a torn of stapled page," he said, pointing to the corner. A small ear of a page was stuck to a bent metal pin, locked in place. Then he looked down. "It's... a lawsuit payment?"
"Huh?" Wendy said, and gently slid back down the portrait, "Like how he's had to pay people?"
"No, people paying him- wait, not people," he leaned in, "The United States government?"
A twanged voice called from the door as it opened, "Astute detective work, as usual, Dipper Pines."
Gideon stepped into the room, a cruel grin on his face as he flicked on the lights.
"Mabel," Dipper growled, and looked to his pocketed phone, "The heck-" and he groaned. There was no signal in this building.
"Sending your sister to intersect me was a good idea," Gideon smirked, "But I know a deal that's too sweet to be true any day. But, if I knew that all it took to get some one-on-one time with her was a bit of shadowy work, I'd be in the black market."
"Gideon, what's the meaning of this!?" Dipper held the papers up.
"It's called a lawsuit," Gideon rolled his eyes.
Wendy squinted at him, and repeated, "You're suing the government?"
"Miss Corduroy," Gideon snorted, and stepped closer into the room, only then revealing that behind him were four particularly large bodyguards with tattoos, missing teeth, and in one man's case, white-milky eyes. "I understand that your family isn't entirely the intellectual type, but please try to keep up."
Dipper felt fire in his heart. "What did you call her?!" Dipper snapped.
"I didn't call her anything," Gideon insisted, and then leered, "but I implied plenty. Now, I don't believe you two are in any position to ask questions. I could have you two thrown out the window you came in."
"It wouldn't end it though," Dipper warned, holding a paper, "And Wendy is much faster than me. You could get me, but all I have to do is hand this to her, and he's gone. We'll send it all over town for people to see-"
"Let 'em," Gideon shrugged.
"You... wait, what?" Dipper blinked.
"Let 'em see."
"You don't care?" Dipper snapped.
"Of course not!" Gideon laughed. "You're looking at the success of being someone who's in the business of repairing America's infrastructure."
Wendy eyed the papers with Dipper. "That's what's getting you rich?" Wendy demanded of Gideon, "Roads?"
The white-haired teenager cackled. "You two have any idea how bad the state of this nations internal infrastructure is? Support beams from the seventies are crumbling. Power plants from the sixties are melting. Water treatments from the fifties are polluting. Need I go on? People are fed up with no one doing anything, so when the see widdle 'ol me coming along and fixing it," he adjusted his tie, "They herald me a hero! And who wouldn't; someone fixing up towns to be better than before should be."
"But... how do you get money for this?" Dipper demanded.
"Easy – put in a clause, easy enough for anyone to read, but no one will because, well, let's be honest," Gideon chuckled, "Who really reads the fine print? The clause says that my company finances the construction all up-front. Not a penny charged initially. Once the construction has been underway, the city or town owes full and a small interest. If they don't pay, I sue the government. And they can't afford it, or else they would have started the thing themselves."
"That's it?" Dipper asked.
"All you care about is money?" Wendy barked.
"Of course not!" Gideon rolled his eyes, approaching them. "I get the publicity. Imagine the headlines- oh, wait," he went to a drawer, and pulled it open, "You don't have to. Read 'em!"
The two each caught a paper from months ago. Pictures of Gideon waving to the photographers with the headlines 'Gideon Gleeful: Defender of the Small-Town People', and 'Gleeful Gains Support VS Bad Federal Government'.
As their faces fell, reading the headlines, Gideon hooted with laughter. "People think that I'm suing on their behalf. To be fair," he pocketed his hands and rocked on his heels, "I am. I finish those projects. I get the job done. And I walk away, not only with the interest, but with the damages of delaying the project from the lawsuit, which adds its own cash."
"But you-"
"Dipper, the best way to get money that isn't yours ain't stealing it," Gideon shook his head, "It's legally taking it away. Legally. Everything I've done here is squeaky clean. Not that I can say the same to you. In fact, let's talk about that," he grinned at the two. Before Dipper could retort, the four approached, and Wendy and Dipper found themselves surrounded. Gideon spoke up again, "I want you off the defense desk."
"What?" Dipper snapped.
"You're the person raising good questions on that table. Goland, your oaf of a Sasquatch friend, doesn't know a thing about court procedure, and your sister, bless her heart," Gideon closed his eyes and shook his head, "Can't keep up with my wiles. So, you're going to sit the rest of the case off."
"Or what?" Dipper growled.
"Well, I'll give you two more options," Gideon's stare became stern, "One, I present the police official evidence from my security cameras," he pointed behind him, and Dipper and Wendy gasped. There indeed was a tiny camera pointed right at them. "That way, I have you arrested and put behind bars. And then there's... my third option," he grinned. The four cracked their knuckles threateningly.
Wendy grinned back. "I've taken on worse than them before," she warned. Dipper felt sweat on his forehead as she said this, and dared a look up to the closest to him.
"If Gideon says 'punch', I say 'How many times'," the one with glossy eyes warned Dipper.
"So, what'll it be?" Gideon asked.
A few minute later, Dipper and Wendy sulked their way into the main lobby, where a confused Soos and worried Mabel met them.
"I tried calling- the reception was-" Mabel tried explaining as she and Soos followed Dipper and Wendy.
"See y'all in court in half an hour," Gideon called after them, waving his hand in the air with a flamboyant wink from the doorway.
"Mabel, we've got a problem," Dipper sighed as they stepped to the car.
"Did he cast a magical spell on you that makes you serve him like a puppet?" Mabel quickly asked, and raised her fists, "I swore the day would come that I'd punch a demon out of you!"
"No!" Dipper said, pushing her away, "Gideon's office was recorded. He said that if I don't back down from the defense, he'll bring it to court, and arrest us for illegal activities."
Mabel clenched her body with fury. "Dang it!" Mabel growled, "Just like him bringing the cops against us."
"Worst of all," Wendy grumbled, "His evil plan is technically legal. He's been getting support for this stuff before."
"Nooo," Mabel wined. "I'm so sick of hearing him get away with that!" She looked to her brother. "Well, you sit down in that courtroom, but I'm going to give it my all!"
"I hope that's enough," Dipper sullenly said as he slipped into the driver seat.
The rest of their half hour not spent driving back to the courthouse and getting inside was to explain to Goland what had happened. Appreciative at first, he grew worried at Dipper's retreat. "But you know the most of proper etiquette for this court!"
"Sorry. If I don't step down, Gideon could try using it as a means to frame all three of us. You two have to get this one on your own," Dipper said, and stepped away from the desk, and found himself sitting between Wendy and Soos.
Goland gulped as he spoke to Mabel quietly, "Well, this could be going better."
"It ain't over till it's over," Mabel growled.
Gideon finally stepped back into the room. With his return, the buzz of the room grew again substantially. He blew a few kisses to his side, and then dared a wink at Mabel. Instinctively, she grabbed the closest pencil to her, and warningly held it up, ready to be weaponized. As Gideon took his seat hastily to avoid her wrath, the judge slammed his gavel.
"We will proceed with the final statements."
"Already?!" Mabel jumped up.
"Yes. This court has reviewed the evidence to the case, and has found much to be desired. Now, Senator Pines, sit down," the judge demanded, and Mabel flopped into her seat. "Mister Gleeful, I present you your last words."
"Well, last words in this court," Gideon chuckled as he stood up.
"I thought we spoke first," Goland asked Mabel.
"So did I," Mabel grumbled.
"Folks," Gideon sighed, and rubbed the back of his head, "I've had a lot of time in this past hour to reflect. You know what Mister Goland here said earlier?" he asked, "All that mystical mumbo-jumbo?"
Goland stood back up, and shouted, "It wasn't-"
The Judge yelled, "Sit down!"
As Goland flopped back into his seat, Gideon summarized, "Well, I think he has a point." The crowd murmured, and the tone shifted. He had their attention, but not their full understanding. "Yes, you see, without a proper American birth certificate, I took advantage of their situation. They aren't entitled to anything since their citizenship doesn't allow them anything. They are technically illegal aliens here."
"How dare you," Mabel growled. "One of my best friends was an illegal alien!"
"Senator Pines," the judge warned.
Gideon, his eyes twinkling, turned to the courtroom, "So, I will alter my proposal. Instead of forcing these strong, heart specimens," Gideon indicated the five hillbilly Sasquatches, "To move away from their home without a course of action, they can work alongside my company."
"What!?" Goland gasped.
"It'd be easy. Just imagine – strong men and Sasquatch working together to ensure the progress of America! They'd not only be a fully-paid labor force, but personal consultant to our constructions that happen over lands of nature and preservation. I think that's more than fair, don't you?" Gideon asked about.
To Mabel's fury, the crowd was clapping to him. Each cheer and clap in his favor drove a nail in her mind that pierced her brain. She saw it again – the support and favor of a man worth not even a single clap. A flash of red and a pressure in her jaw that made her bite down on herself. It was too much.
She stood up and shouted with as much conviction as possible, "GIDEON GLEEFUL IS A LIAR AND A CONMAN!"
"Senator Pines, you are out of-" the judge started, but Mabel cut him off.
"Can it, wrinkle butt!" she snapped, and turned back to the crowd, "I know he seems charming! I know he looks cute! Heck, he's even has a great perfume! But that's because on the inside he's rotten!"
"Mabel Pines," Gideon gasped and put a hand to his chest dramatically, "Such cuttin' words!"
"Cutting words, huh?!" she yelled at him, "How about the time when you tried killing my brother because he had the courage to tell you what I didn't want to- that NO, I WOULDN'T DATE YOU!?" she roared. People in the crowd gasped and looked about. "Or the time you tried kidnapping my brother and I, so you could steal away our Grand-Uncles home!? OR the time-"
"Senator Pines!" the Gavel was slammed so hard the platform shook. Mabel whipped her head back to the Judge. "I have been very lenient to your during this session. Your status, as questionable as it is, will not provide you any further leniency. Now sit down, and await your turn, or you will be arrested with contempt with court."
Mabel stared at him, a fire burning in her brain and in her eyes. Slowly she looked to Gideon, who seemed between fear and awe. Slowly, she bent her knees and allowed herself to sit.
"Well," Gideon cleared his throat, "Not to beat around the bush, but I had a bad past, y'all," he sheepishly admitted, "No reason to ask anyone from Gravity Falls about that one."
"Never heard of the place," the judge admitted.
"Hah, right, small place," Gideon rolled his eyes. With a straightening of his tie and suit, he again turned to the audiences, "But I officially extend my olive branch to these beings. If they decide to allow my company the rights to build away, we will give them more than a fair chance with our organization. Thank you, your honor, and god bless America."
The roar of applause that followed his words made Mabel sick to her stomach. It didn't matter. No matter what they did, or said, or tried to say and do, Gideon was backed by a hundred people. He was immune to them here, in this court. The law was on his side.
Mabel looked to Goland, her throat suddenly scratchy. "Sorry buddy... I don't know what to say," she managed.
Goland nodded solemnly. "I will try."
With that, he took to stand, and several striding steps later, was in the middle of the court.
"Gideon is impressive, isn't he?" he asked the people. Confused, the people seemed to nod in agreement. "Yes. He is quite the speaker. He, for his stance, is also generous. Not many have the willingness to allow someone fighting against them a chance like that."
Gideon nodded in respect towards Goland. The Sasquatch turned away.
"He spoke about progress. Progress, as he would put it, is improving roads. Structures. Buildings. These are things humans make. You build something, and call it progress. I understand, I think. You see, we do not see progress as that. To our people, progress doesn't come from, well," Goland motioned around the courthouse, "Things. It comes from us."
The room went silent. Every creak of wood under Goland's step was audible.
"We believe that it is our actions that best speak for our kind. Day-to-day deeds to one another that are remembered, not as great and heroic things, but as emotions. We feel the need to help one another, and that is because we always have been helped. That is progress to us. Not building highways or tearing up forests to make roads, but to build trust with one another. My kind... we have always been afraid of humans. You are ambitious, clever, and with feats of engineering that baffled our kinds for thousands of years."
"Must we now, now with the chance to see each other eye-to-eye, chose to progress things... rather than progress us?"
Goland's words echoed around the room as clear and powerful as a storm's thunder racing down the mountain. People's eye gazed on him, a new wonder a look that defied mere explication. Even Gideon, the man in charge of their whole dilemma, stared up at the towering figure with a dropped mouth.
Mabel nodded and said, "Well said."
"Thank you," Goland slipped down into his seat, slumping down.
The judge cleared his throat. "Now, Senator Pines. Do you have anything you'd like to add."
Mabel scowled and pulled out her phone. She hoped, nearly prayed, that any of the old chats and logs about the Gleefuls in Gravity Falls would return. She needed something to pin against Gideon, to slam down on his reputation. Yet there was nothing. No website. Not a single picture. There was nothing left.
"Senator Pines!?" the judge snapped.
"Hold your horses!" Mabel barked, and stood up.
As she did, Gideon winked at her. "When this is over, send my regards to Gravity Falls for me, dearest," he teased.
Bingo.
Mabel stalled in place. Her feet were stuck to the ground like she had grown roots. She slowly looked to Gideon, a devilish smile on her face. It was frightening enough that Gideon blinked and leaned backwards. 'What was she thinking?' Mabel imagined him thinking, and she loved it. He hadn't a clue.
She got him.
"Mister Gleeful," she said clearly, and approached him, "You said, like, five minutes ago, that because they had no official birth certificate, they could be treated however you'd like, is that right?" she asked.
"I did initially, yes," Gideon stood and answered, "However, I rescinded that."
"Good. Because I think you've been sort of a hypocrite with birth certificates, haven't you?" she sneered.
Gideon blinked, and looked behind him. The crowd was talking admits themselves, debating Mabel's deliberate words. "I'm sorry, what are you on about?" Gideon demanded.
"Oh?" Mabel asked, her eyelids a flutter, "Not following me? That's okay, I'll spell it out for you, and everyone here – you don't have a real one," Mabel said, a pleased smiled etched into her face.
"Liar," Gideon laughed.
"Really? Present it," Mabel demanded.
"Oh, funny you ask," Gideon snapped his fingers, and his concerned father withdrew a marked paper from a large binder, "Because I always keep mine on hand! Especially after that one election year. Phew." He handed the paper to Mabel, who took it and looked it over. When she saw the date, and more importantly, the hospital location, her grin grew.
"The funny thing is, Mister Gleeful," she spun, and tossed the certificate at Gideon, "The town you've placed on this certificate states 'Gravity Falls'."
"How's that funny?" he demanded.
"That's a fictional town," she smiled at him, "Doesn't exist."
"Don't lie to me, Mabel Pines," Gideon laughed, "You don't look as good a liar as myself."
"Am I a liar?" she asked him. "Check it yourself. The town Gravity Falls, Oregon, doesn't exist." She pointed to the certificate as Gideon's face paled. "Your birth certificate means nothing if you didn't come from a real town, Mister Gleeful."
The people behind Gideon were all a chatter now. With the accusations, and now with Mabel's evidence, those with their own phones had begun to look up such a town. Gideon spun around as well; his eyes wide as he studied the varying reactions from those present. Quickly, Gideon took out his own phone, and did his own searching. Mabel watched with absolute, well, glee as his face went even more paler. He had seen it for himself: the town was just gone.
Mabel spun to the judge. "Your honor, I will officially place into evidence Gideon Gleefuls fake birth certificate, and evidence to suggest further tampering with-"
"Wait!"
Gideon stood up, his eyes wide. The Judge, who had stared with tired eyes at Mabel, shifted in his seat to watch Gideon. The shorter man stalled- his mouth opening and closing with short, quick breaths.
Clearing his mouth, the judge carefully asked, "Yes, Mister Gleeful?"
Gideon smiled at the older man, and then walked up to Mabel, a scowl on his face. "You... you... you are easily the cruelest woman I have ever met."
"Oh?" she asked him, not backing down with her height advantage.
"I don't know what's really going on with the town or how you did it, but I have accreditation to take in account. I won't let you destroy my already greatly achieved comeback after Gravity Falls."
"Then you know what you need to do, stuffy," Mabel dared.
Gideon shivered in his stance, and stepped past her. "Your honor, I officially withdraw my companies claim over these five."
"You what!?" the judge snapped, trying to speak over the triumphant cries of six sasquatches.
"I withdraw all charges against this case. Gideon Gleeful will not hold them responsible for any claim," Gideon declared loudly.
"B-B-But what about the money you gave me?" the judge quietly asked to Gideon.
As Mabel's mouth dropped from his candidness, Gideon shrugged. "Keep it. I'm a generous sort, ain't that right?" he said to Mabel.
She returned a venomous smile, and crossed her arms as she told him, "When it suits you."
"And today, I'll take that path. Mabel Pines," he extended an arm, "It was an honor to lose against such a beautiful woman."
Rolling her eyes, Mabel grabbed his hand, and gave him the strongest, vice-like grip she could manage. As Gideon squealed and refrained from physically reacting (aside from tensing his shoulders as if he'd stepped into an icy lake), and stared into Mabel's eyes with shock.
"And if you come after my friends or family ever again," Mabel warned him as the buzz of the courtroom filled the air, "I'll show you just how much I'm letting you go. I could get even for all those times you tried killing me. But... I'm feeling generous."
And with that, Mabel dropped his hand, and walked away, victorious.
At the end of the day, the gang couldn't have been more excited.
"Not only did we save the day for those in need," Soos counted off with his finger, "Not only did we get a new stone," he tabbed off another finger as Wendy examined the recently found and raw looking shard of Skarkissed, presented by the Sasquatch, "We also got back at an old enemy! Talk about a successful day!"
"And just goes to show," Wendy smirked as she put the rock in a travel bag, where all the other stones were being kept, "We can totally do the hero thing and not only save the world, but save the day at the same time."
"Heck yes!" Soos said, and the two high fived.
In the front of the car, Mabel played with Waddles, now finally out her official attire. With her newest garb packed away, she rolled around on the concrete with her pink piggy, blissfully laughing as Dipper walked over, holding a backpack over his shoulder.
With a such a soft smile on his lips, Dipper admitted to his sister, "I still can't believe you did it."
"Won a court case on my own?" she asked from the ground, allowing Waddles to gently gnaw on her hair.
"Well, yeah," he said to her "You didn't really strike me as having much of a chance against that judge."
"Well, he was paid off," Mabel nodded, "So I guess we were both pretty bad off, huh?"
"Yeah," Dipper chuckled. "Still, that was brilliant. Using Gravity Falls against him like that."
Mabel chuckled. "He said something like that to me, and I was going to jam it down his face if it was the last thing I could do in that court: prove he's a fraud and a jerk. And then poof – I had a Dipper moment," she laughed.
"A–A what?!" he snorted.
"A Dipper moment. You know, turn something against the bad-guys and be smart about it," she said earnestly.
"Oh, hah," he laughed, "I guess that's one way of doing it."
"Got a better idea, doofus?" she asked him as Waddles walked over to the brother.
"Well, I had considered using magic to charm him," Dipper winked at Mabel. Then Waddles began to chew his shoelaces. "Hey! Waddles, cut that out."
"No magic," Mabel scoffed, and sat up to gently slap his shoulder, "Magic is what got us here in the first place, dummy."
"Hah, I know, it was, uh, just a joke," he laughed, and scratched his scalp. He looked aside, his eyes focusing on some unsaid thing.
"Dipper, don't worry about it," she sighed, "We already won. The Sasquatches are promised their forest back, Goland will be protecting this area legally now, and we got the stone. Everything really did work out in the end."
"Yeah, I guess it did," he admitted, rubbing his shoulder.
"I mean, of course it would!" Mabel declared proudly, "When you've got Senator Pines on the case, everything is legal!"
"Shut up," Dipper laughed and pushed her aside.
With raised spirits and hopes, the five packed into the two cars and bike, and continued their drive eastward. Out of the bayou, into the darkening evening sky horizon, and one step closer to salvation against a tidal wave of magic.
And so, once again, Mabel and Dipper show the power of bond, friendship, and using technical legality and blackmail as a means to achieve victory. The Pines are a strange lot to look up to, aren't they?
Dipper's being awfully careful with that magic. I wonder how Mabel would take it if he told her? Hm. Probably not all that bad. Right? Riiiight? Right.
But anyhoo, I've been loving the feedback from the last episode. You all ate up that last update, and I was really thrilled! I was pretty sure about this one being something that got some verbal feedback, and boom- you all made me smile for a week straight. Seriously. Still smiling. Send help. :p
Next episode we're going to be taking a dive back into the world of danger. This episode (and a few before it) were much more light hearted and silly than some other chapters. But if you remember the last scene of 'The Shadow of the Chupacabra', you know what's up. Oh yeah. They're coming. So prepare yourself... "The Weary Path" is to be updated next week.
Speaking of weary path, I'm off to sleep.
(EZB suddenly walks into his bed, dressed in old-fashion pajamas from the 19th century) Ahhh, yes. Very good. (EZB, holding his candle, blows it out. As the dim light around him slowly darkens, it is actually revealed his bed is attached to a large trebuchet- a large siege weapon that Fanfiction doesn't know is a real word. Get ON THAT FANFICTION! KNOW YOUR SIEGE WEAPONRY-)
(The weapon is fired, and EZB is thrown into the dark knight, crying in fear.)
"Well, I think my job here is done," Gideon sighed as he patted his hands.
Driving the five Sasquatch personally back to the forest was a chore for him. While he had lost the case, he had something of a charm to re-gain with the town. Mabel Pine's words had shaken their iron trust in his persona, and more than a few questions had been risen. To make things better, he had opted to returning the Sasquatches personally. Only he had struggled to find a car powerful enough to move that many large creatures around without sputtering through town.
"Well, Gleeful," one of the five turned, his hair body easily over twice his in height, "We can tell you put your heart an' soul into that shindig."
"Oh, don't try patronizin' me," Gideon grumbled.
"Hoss means it," one next to the main speaker assured Gideon.
"We was right touched when you said you'd consider us bein' part of your company. We won', because we're forest folk, but we're touched by your kindness," the main speaker nodded to him.
"Well," Gideon shrugged as he shuffled his feet, "I'll be honest. Having fellas with as big arms as yours is a chore. The last place I saw someone with that kind of build, I was in prison!"
The five sasquatches waved to Gideon curtly, and turned away, sauntering into the swampy woods. Gideon stood at the spot, by the incomplete road, his hands at his hips.
To his shock, behind him, there was the sounds of another car. Turning, he found a simple blue car strolling down the road, stopping just short of Gideon's truck. With a sigh, the teenager of short height marched back over.
"Sorry sir," he waved over, "This highway is permanently delayed."
"That won't be a problem," a curt voice answered.
Gideon froze. His mind reeled. He had moved to the truck – his hand was on the handle. Yet his eyes shifted to the man in the car, wearing sunglasses. Strong, thick brown hair, and a broad, masculine face betrayed an otherwise thin body. Gideon was certain he had seen that man before.
It really was the voice. Gideon knew he had heard that voice before.
"If you don't mind, maybe you can help? I'm looking for some children," the man held out a picture, and Gideon squinted, daring to approach the stranger.
"Who might you be?" Gideon asked, but stopped dead in his place when he saw the picture.
It was of the twins. Of the Corduroy Girl and that Handyman. Of Stanley Pines, and three others he did not recognize, all in front of that accursed Mystery Manor! His body shook and trembled as the man stepped out, removing his glasses.
"You act like you've seen a ghost," the youngest looking version of Stanford Pines Gideon had ever seen said as he stepped out.
"Y-You!" Gideon gasped, tripping over his own feet. "You can't be here!"
"You know me!?" the man asked, stepping closer. "Have we met?"
"Stanford!" Gideon yelped, and turned, climbing his way to the truck.
"Wait!" Stanford rushed forward too late, as Gideon got into the car, locked the doors, and started rising the windows. "How do we know one another!? Please! I'm trying to understand what is going on!"
"If you're back," Gideon fearfully said, eyeing Stanford Pines, "That means Bill is out," Gideon swallowed, sweat pouring down his face.
"You know Bill Cipher?" Stanford gasped. His demeanor took a dangerous turn, and he pointed with accusation towards Gideon, "Are you one of his henchmen!? Answer me!"
"No! I ain't ever workin' with that devil again!" Gideon cried, and got the engine of the truck roaring.
Stanford rolled his eyes, and said, "Well, no – technically, he's a demon, you see. That said–"
The truck screeched away. Stanford was left in a trail of mud and exhaust fumes as the truck pulled away, leaving the middle-aged man in the dirt.
"Blast. He got away. If only I had my journals on me," he cursed himself, shaking his head, "Then, perhaps, I could peer into his mind. What was that one spell?" He pondered. When no answer came to him, he muttered to himself. "Still... I suppose I could try a more direct way than just magic. After all," he reached inside his autumn jacket, and pulled out a strange recording device, showing several gauges, "Magic seems to be growing steadily stronger across the nation. Strange. We're far outside expected spheres of weirdness. Why, then…"
He stuffed away the device, and looked again to the picture. "Stanley, I don't know what's happened in my absence, but I will find my answers."
Without another word, he stuffed away the picture, and marched back to the car, and turned it away, riding back down the road from which he came, after the truck.
Elgv Dzwwovh uli Nzbli: 2015! Zmw Nrmz uli Urihg Nzhgzwlm!
-AND-
*Vigenere*
Nifh trpw gdcojmvv, essiugd xdm hqo, eo bkh frowoyph livw nsimv; upwktxwtsj jrxyh. Pcuq meys qrh, adqoh emim vwtph xhuxmpa, ilyh uwxu yis xodni; hqih debm dqo wkcqg. Tj xzdyp mj phdcx, oblow mj ulqo, tnmsdci pph mzynvhb jip, nru revmv zlxyp zlel cthh, ela mqhxc jwz pzzaa, lqeijb rq gmybruj, eo bullrcthv dmhmqwwc obdov xdmh.