The Return to Gravity Falls

by EZB

Mabel and Dipper return to Gravity Falls three years after their life-altering summer vacation spent with their Grunkle Stan, to find that Gravity Falls never stops being, well, weird. As the twins encounter old friends and reconnect with the supernatural inhabitants of Gravity Falls, new dangers lurk just outside of the knowledge of Uncle Stanfords old journals.

90. Soos-Less: Part 2

"Now, come with us," Graupner sneered, adjusting the cloak around his shoulders, "Or else face the serious consequences."

Wendy sniffed loudly, crumpling her nose as she glared back. She grinned, and said as she chewed on her un-ignited cigarette, "I don't take threats well."

"Yeah! Neither do I!" Pacifica snapped, poking her head from around Soos. "Get lost, or I'll sue you so bad you'll have do donate blood to keep up with fines!"

Surrounding the Warlock, the six figures in red robes stepped aside to allow a seventh to retort. The man with a very tattooed head gasped, and dramatically placed a hand to the back of his head, "Ohh no!," he groaned, a deep and mildly English accent to his voice, "Monetary wealth as a means to scare us? Ohhh!" he then laughed, as did the members of his cult, those in red robes, "We are above your paltry financial means! We control the mind itself!"

"Well, not really," Soos pointed out. The two leaders, Graupner and Blind Ivan, stared at him. "I mean, it's just that gun that McGucket made to erase memories. But even memories can sometimes come back. Just gotta be reminded of them, and stuff," Soos shrugged.

"Impossible," Blind Ivan scoffed, "Our memory gun is perfect! Assign a time period, and memories are gone," he warned as he withdrew the weapon, "I would have remembered if it wasn't... wait," he paused, scratching his head.

"Yeah, well too bad!" Soos laughed, "Because one, nah, doesn't work perfectly," Soos shrugged, "And two, that thing needs like a few moments to charge up. And you can totally dodge it."

Blind Ivan hummed. "He raises a good point," he noted.

Graupner growled, and pushed him aside and stepped forward. "GRAB THEM!" he roared.

"Don't touch my nails!" Pacifica yelped as she dived under and behind a series of dangling chains from the ceiling.

Three members of the Blind Eye Society charged straight for Soos, their hands out. Soos backed up for a moment, and then stared. These weren't the goons he was used to fighting. Not armed soldiers from Graupner. These were just people. Goofy, culty, normal people in a, well, a cult!

Twisting his arm back, Soos cried, "HIYAA!" as he punched outward. A shorter fellow in a cloak was first to be struck.

"Owwwch," the figure groaned as he was lifted into the air. The hood fell back, and Toby Determined was revealed as he slammed against the door and collapsed into the street outside. The cult members gasped and took several steps away, staring at Soos. Wendy, who had made for a nearby car jack, whistled aloud as she eyed the supposed handyman.

"Soos," Pacifica said, eying him with a newfound respect as she watched from afar.

"Huh," Soos said, looking to his own fist, "Mabel's tricks do sorta work! Still have no idea how I should defend myself though," he said, shaking his hand through the air, "And wowie, do my knuckles hurt..."

Blind Ivan stepped back towards Graupner, glaring to the Warlock. "You never said that Mister Ramirez could fight!" he snapped.

"We've never seen him do so before!" Graupner growled. He then snarled, and spat on the ground, "Don't be afraid, just-"

"Hey, no spitting in here," Soos pointed at him with a frown. "That's super unsanitary."

Graupner's temple developed a case of violently throbbing veins. He point forward and screamed, "GET HIM!"

"Uh-oh," Soos gulped as five more cultists charged forward.

The first approaching him grabbed his arm, and Soos lifted it up and away. The person yelped and was lifted into the air with him. Another person then grabbed his leg, and tried holding him down, yet only resulted in coming to grasp his thigh.

"Wow, quite impressive thighs, "the figure complimented as he stood up, scratching an invisible chin. "Like a rock!"

Soos didn't have much of a response but to throw the person on his arm at the other by his leg. The two bodies collided into the air, and they fell aside, crumpling to the floor. Soos stared and then laughed. "Wow! I got this under contro-"

WHACK!

Something hard and heavy bashed against Soos's chin. His entire row of teeth felt like they had just been rattled in their gums. A large figure in a crimson cloak stepped before him, and Soos's world spun around. Not only was he disoriented, but the physical hit stunned him and made him spin on his heels. As he staggered, two others then stepped up behind him, and grabbed him by the arms.

"Hold him still," the tallest grumbled, a darker skinned man with the tattoo 'head' across his forehead, was pulling back for a second punch.

"Hey!" Soos cried out, and tried yanking away, but found the grips of the two men very tight. "Aww, c'mon! Three against one isn't cool, dawgs!" he cried out.

"Too bad, fat man," the tallest man growled, and wound up the punch.

"Then how about three against two!?" a voice behind the tall man shouted.

The figure with 'head' tattooed on his forehead spun around just in time to receive a special gift across his jaw: a four-foot-long monkey wrench. The impact sent spit and a tooth across the room, and the man took his own turn to spin in place. Coming to a rigid pose, he then collapsed onto a tool shelf and collapsed with a loud clatter.

A boot connected to Wendy Corduroys' foot took its rightful place atop the man's back. She glared to the two holding Soos. "Who's next!?" she barked.

The one holding Soos's right arm let go. "I'm outta here!" the voice cried out, and ran towards the exit, shoving past Blind Ivan and Graupner.

"Coward!" Graupner shrieked, spit flying from his mouth.

"And you?" Soos turned to the other guy.

The cultist shrugged. "Call me old-fashioned, but I'm more of the loyal to a fault kind of guy when it comes to cults. I'll never let go!" he declared. Soos then turned and gently pulled his arm out of the grip, and faced him. The cultists looked to his hands and gave Soos a shrug. "Well, never said nothing about arm and hand strength."

Wendy butted between the two of them, and delivered a punch straight to the man's hidden face. He collapsed backwards onto the ground as his comrades before him had.

"Hah, even in this timeline you still kick butt," Soos pointed to Wendy, who was chewing on the end of her cigarette.

"Whatever, dude," She said, and turned, looking past him.

Standing at the doorway was still Blind Ivan and Graupner Kinley. Graupner was positively shaking with rage, his face red as the blood surging through his body. "WHAT KIND OF PATHETIC CHUMPS DO YOU WORK WITH!?" he bellowed.

"Hey!" Blind Ivan protested, "They're absolutely fantastic at grabbing the folk in town! This kind of resistance isn't what we're used to!" Blind Ivan whined. "And they chant in unison very well," he added.

"Useless!" Graupner roared, and stepped forward, "Let me show you how this is d-done, you old fool!"

"Uh oh," Soos gulped.

Wendy chuckled and stepped forward. "Oh please. Like what, your scrawny, little, anger-twink butt is going to take me on? Military trained chick with more balls than your dad probably does?" she asked, sneering.

Soos felt the danger coming. "Wendy, watch out dawg!" he cried.

With a large wind up, Gruapner took a dramatic step backwards. He whipped his hands forward, passing them out of his own blackened robes. A shimmering outline appeared on the heavy monkey wrench in Wendy's hand. She gasped and let go- but it did not fall to the ground with a clatter. Levitating in its place, Graupner moved his fingers up, and the wrench slammed into Wendy's stomach. Enough force pushed into her body that she flew into the wall past Soos and Pacifica, who shrieked as Wendy flew past. With a gasp and airy 'oof', Wendy was pinned to the wall.

Graupner barked with laughter. "Hahaha! So strong, are we?" he asked her as she struggled to get breath, the wrench pushed against her diaphragm. "With you out of the way, we can turn attention to-"

Grauper felt the earth tremble as he realized too late he had focused upon the wrong person. Soos yelled as he ran forward, "Let Wendy DOWN!" He charged onto the suddenly very pale looking Warlock. Soos was onto him just as he opened his mouth. "NOPE!" Soos shouted, and grabbed his jaw, covering his mouth.

Graupner's eyes shot wide and he stared at Soos. He went to move his hand, but then Soos grabbed the magic-casting hand, and wrenched it to his side, causing Graupner to go stiff. As Soos lifted him up with the hand held over his mouth. As Soos glared at the man he held with such low esteem, the Warlock let out a very audible and clearly fearful gulp.

"Let... Wendy... Go," Soos demanded.

From behind the chains, Pacifica cried out, "Soos! Behind you!"

Soos looked in a mirror nearby. Behind him, Blind Ivan had charged the Memory gun. It was aimed right for Soos.

Soos had little else he could do. He was holding onto Graupner. He couldn't move away.

The gun fired.

So, instead, Soos spun around.

Graupner screamed as he was struck by the gun square in the back of the head; held out by Soos in the way of the projectile beam. In the split second it had happened, Graupner had already gone limp. Wendy fell to the floor, gasping for air as the wrench clattered elsewhere.

"Oh! Uh," Ivan blinked as his grip on the memory gun almost slackened entirely, "Well, erm, oops. Just give me a moment to charge it again, if you wouldn't mind-"

"No way, dawg!" Soos cried out, and hurled Graupner right at him. The limp man flew into the air and slammed into Blind Ivan, who's figure was not ready to deal with the weight of the hurtled body. He fell to the floor, dropping the memory gun. It clatter away until it fell under the gentle foot of a deep purple heel. Blind Ivan trailed it up with his gaze as he saw Pacifica standing before him.

"You lost," she growled, and gave the gun a little tap with her heel.

"Uhhh..." he looked around from the floor as Soos helped up Wendy, and the two approached. He looked back to Pacifica as she crossed her arms. He seemed to rational himself suddenly, as he pointed to then sky with vindication, "It, well, uh, only...Seems that way!" he cried out, "But, you just wait! The rest of my cultists will arrive shortly!"

"Dude, your cultists were pathetic," Wendy mentioned, "Like, even their toughest one was taken out in like two seconds."

"Flat!" Soos added, and Wendy chuckled, the two high-fiving.

Blind Ivan eyed the two of them, and the looked to Pacifica. "You, uh, can still surrender, if you'd like-" he was cut short. Pacifica cried out and shattered the lightbulb fraction of the memory gun under her heel. "NO! Curses!" Blind Ivan cried out, his eyes wide at the sight of his broken weapon. "Now I can't later remove the memory of being a total failure..."

"I'd guess that'd require you to erase your entire memory," Pacifica snorted.

"Ohh, freakin' scorching," Wendy chuckled, causing a corner of Pacifica's mouth to twitch in a smile.

Graupner started to then move. Soos stepped over, and forced him one his feet, before promptly tying rope around his mouth and chain around his hands and arms, binding him. "There," Soos said, putting the man down against the wall, "Now you can't hurt anyone."

"Not yet he won't," Wendy snarled, and approached him as well, "But whatever crazy trick he just pulled, I'm getting back at him for-"

Pacifica shouted, "HEY!"

Soos and Wendy turned, seeing Blind Ivan stand and push Pacifica to the side. He turned and raced for the door. Running away, he shouted over his head, "Aha! This marks the return for the Society of the Blind-"

WHAMP.

As the door before him opened, he had collided with an object much tougher than him. A broad, tough-bodied girl who by doing nothing but standing still, had knocked him backwards and onto his rear. As he collapsed down, two figures stood before him in the doorway, glaring down onto the helpless lead-cultist. Stepping in first with a loud stomp was Grenda, who flexed her impressively sturdy body.

"Seriously?" She yelled, "Who goes running around into cute girls!? WHO!?"

"Cute?" Pacifica repeated, eying Grenda.

"Soos," Candy waved as she stepped inside too, "We saw some crazy person run out of the front so we wanted to check to see if you were... oh," she slowed down to a stop as she looked around. Five unconscious bodies and a single man tied up next to a wall met her and her friends gaze.

"Yeah, that dude there totally tried melting my memories with his mind-modifying gun," Soos said.

Blind Ivan shivered as he felt the shadows of five figures fall upon him. He could only whimper as ten hands reached out for him. Within a few moments, he was tied, gagged, and dragged into a corner, next to Graupner as well. Standing over him, the five stared wordlessly.

"Uh," Candy then turned, looking to Soos, "I have a question."

"Sup," Soos looked to her.

"Why are you kidnapping them?" she asked earnestly.

Pacifica grumbled, "He's not, stupid."

"Hey! Don't call Candy stupid!" Grenda barked. Pacifica scowled at her, but said nothing.

Perhaps to her own surprise, Wendy stood up for Pacifica. "They tried attacking Soos first," Wendy explained, "Like, eight of these dorks just showed up and tried dog-piling him, and tried beating him up!"

"Wow," Candy nodded to Soos, adjusting her glasses, "You're some sort of secret agent?"

"Hah!" Soos laughed and grinned, "That'd be sooo cool! Nahh, I'm just from another timeline," he said. Thre four ladies turned and stared at him. "No really," he shrugged, "I was sent here by a demon named Kelly."

"Ohh my god," Pacifica rubbed her fingers across her eyes, "I can't believe you are still talking about this."

"Hah! I like stories like that though," Grenda said, "Makes me think crazy stuff can happen."

"Crazy stuff did happen," Wendy piped in. "This punk," she kicked Graupner, who winced and moaned from under the gag, "Did some crazy trick that made me pinned against a wall without ever touching me."

"Maybe hallucinogens?" Candy suggested, "Perhaps they drugged you and made you believe magic was being created."

"This wasn't drugs," Wendy said, "Trust me, I'd know."

"Addict," Pacifica muttered.

"Try me," Wendy said, turning and glaring into the eyes of the fifteen-year-old.

"Whoa, whoa," Soos said, stepping in between them, "Look guys, you need to believe me! This is all because I asked Kelly to alter something in history that would fix things, but it didn't fix them! It made them-"

"SOOS!" Pacifica roared, and stepped forward, tears in her eyes, "You're going mad! MAD! I don't know what's happened, but you're not from another time, okay? You're my friend, and my friend isn't a crazy nut who thinks they're from another dimension!"

As she finished, a loud tearing sound ruptured from the air behind the ladies and Soos. They all spun around to stare as blue and violet light poured into the room around them. A vertical line, nearly two feet long and suspended into the air began to shift open. Like bars of reality being forced away, sections of this light moved and jostled, revealing a three-sided, silver out-lined figure wearing a large hat and a holding a exuberant parasol. Kelly Yore glared with her single eye at Soos, and floated towards him, causing the four to shriek and dart away.

"You FOOL!" she barked.

"Oh, hey Miss Yore," Soos waved as the other four ladies cowered.

"What have you done?! You've started unraveling the great peace established in this town! Your own home town!" she yelled.

"Ahh, yeah, so, about that," Soos said, "I needed to talk to you, Miss Yore. I think we didn't really meet up with what we kinda of wanted to do. I mean, Bill Cipher controls Mister Pines, and Graupner and mister Steindorf are still around, and-"

"I am aware of all this, Soos!" she barked.

Soos paused, her words ringing in his ears. "Wait... you knew this?"

Her eye softened, hearing pain in his voice. With a heavy sigh, she nodded, "Soos, of course I do. I'm the demon of the past. It's my job to know things that have happened. I set up this set of circumstances so that we both got what we wanted."

"What we wanted?" Soos demanded.

"I promised you Wendy no longer a member of the undead. She now lives," she said, waving her parasol to the red-head, who flinched, "And is, for my actions, healthy. What her own life has done to her is not my concern. Graupner? He would have been non-threatening. He and his master have been peacefully working under my brother's words."

"And Mister Pines!?" Soos asked, anticipating a good reasoning.

There was a very pregnant pause from the blue demon. She shuddered slightly, and then admitted, adjusting her hat, "He... was not part of the deal."

A fire growing in his voice, Soos pointed at her and claimed, "You-you tricked me!"

"I did not!" she barked, "You only ever mentioned changing the situation you were in to one that was, in your mind's eye, better! I did THAT!" she bellowed, her form growing in size as her voice boomed around them. All but Soos recoiled and cowered further. "Oh," she gasped, closing her eye and shrinking back to normal size, "I'm so sorry, I... I didn't mean to lose my temper, Soos. Pardon me."

"Miss Yore," Soos sucked in his breath, "You've lied to me."

Her eye shot wide. Drinking in the sight that was a defiant Soos Ramirez was one that, for a demon of the past, seemed a rare sight. After a moment, she looked away, and then shook herself. "How?" she asked.

"You said you wanted to do this to get me to trust you, Miss Yore," Soos reminded her, "And you did things with this deal that changed my trust. Wendy isn't happy," Soos said.

"Uh, you shouldn't speak for me," Wendy piped up.

"Dawg," Soos looked to her, his eyes locked onto her. Soos only too well knew her tone, "It's okay."

"I... I don't know what you're talking about," Wendy added, turning away.

Soos turned back to Kelly. "Pacifica now has to hide here to get away from her mom and dad! Even if what happened to Gravity Falls didn't happen here, at least she learned how to become stronger than them with Dipper and Mabel's help!"

"Wait, what?" Pacifica gasped. "Excuse me?!" she snapped.

"And-and-" Soos growled, "You made your brother possess Mister Pines!" he shouted, glaring at Kelly.

"I never aided him once," she defended herself.

"What?" Soos said quietly.

Kelly rolled her eyes. "With no one to permanently support his miscreant behavior at the Mystery Shack," she explained, "Stanley Pines went on and scared away his grandnephew and grandniece, Dipper and Mabel. I'm still excited to meet them again, though," she hummed. Soos tilted his head to the side, but Kelly continued, "With no one to help him, he activated the portal and found himself facing against my brother and his brother simultaneously. Knowing Billy," Kelly added with another scoff, "He saw the opportunity to take a new form: a new body."

"You... did you know this would happen?" Soos asked quietly.

Kelly stared. The sound of a slowly breathing Graupner Kinley, and the tiny, frightened grunting of Blind Ivan, who stared at the floating triangle from his corner was all that permeated the air. Finally, she played with the frills of her hat, and Kelly said, "I did."

Soos clenched his fists. "You brought Mister Pines back just so he could be taken over by a mean demon."

"I did not. I mean, I brought back Bill too, but what I mean is-"

"I don't think," Soos interrupted, "That we're friends anymore."

Kelly's pupil went startling small as she let the gravity of his words sink in. Then the silver began to steam. Trails of silver vapor began to rise off the demon, and she trembled. "We're not, are we?!" she snapped, "We're not FRIENDS?!" she roared, her blue becoming a horrible pale green, "I'll-I'LL-"

Then the building energy in her being dropped away instantly. She floated in her spot, and shrugged.

"Fine, Soos," she said, and lifted her umbrella to rest on her left top corner. "Being friends with someone who's future could be monumental would have been important, but I have gotten through existence without always having friends. I barely have a family, how could I expect to count on a blip of existence like you?" she asked. "You're stuck in this time now, Soos," she scoffed, "And you can forget about seeing that other universe ever AGAIN!" she roared, and she began to shrink, and shrink, and shrink... until she was gone.

To say silence was a moment in which seven hearts could be heard beating rapidly through their owners' chests suited the disappearance of Kelly Yore. Soos Ramirez stared at the spot she had just been, his mind numb with what they had just come to do. Kelly, who all this time had been supportive and kind to Soos, polarized her view of him in three words- blip of existence. That hurt. He stood there, feeling the adrenaline of the fight fade and the pain of the bruises start throbbing.

"What the actual HELL happened!?" the shrill voice of Pacifica Northwest shirked.

Soos turned about as Wendy spoke up, her words trembling. "Yeah man. That, uh, was a talking, floating triangle. That spoke. And floated- did I mention it was a tria-" she suddenly checked her pockets, "This isn't another episode, is it?" she muttered.

"Oh my god, junkie," Pacifica barked, "This isn't about you!" She marched to Soos and grabbed his arms, which he barely felt. "Soos, she knew you. That thing we saw acted like it knew you all this time."

He nodded, and with the smallest of shrugs gave them the truth.

"Well, I'm not from this, uh, time," he stated. The combined stares from Pacifica, Wendy, Candy, Grenda, a semi-conscious Graupner, and a helpless and tied up Blind Ivan was the kind of audience that gave Soos nightmares. He continued, afraid to let them wander about what he meant. "So, like, This town is craaazeeh. Like, an eleven out of ten scale of coocoo nutso banana splits on a mental ward, and there are things like this happening all around us," Soos declared, "But in my time, my friends, Dipper, Mabel and Wendy," he said giving Wendy a point, "Found out, like, all the secrets together. But something really, really bad happened- Gravity Falls was, like, erased, and now magic is flooding the world. I... I needed to try and fix something. Do anything."

"So, Kelly Yore, that lady who just left," he nodded to the empty space, "Offered me a chance to change things. I just wanted things to be better than they were. But she used me to let her evil brother back in this universe! Bill Cipher is like her, but he's a thirteen out of ten on the whack-a-doo scale! And I need to... I guess... I need to stop him?" He said, shocked at his own discovery. "That seems like something the twins would do."

"Wait, wait," Pacifica stepped back, "So... when you hit your head... you just arrived to this timeline?"

"Yes!" Soos nodded with fervor.

"Then," Pacifica slowly said, "If you're from a timeline where it kinda sounds like the apocalypse is happening, what happened to me?"

Soos stared deep into those cold blue eyes, seeing a woman who valued what he had to say, who's very words to her may cause pain. He could not lie, even if it was what he knew was the safer option.

"The town was erased from ever," he said.

"What does that even mean?" Wendy said, lighting a match to smoke a cigarette.

"Dawg, it never existed or something crazy like that," he gave her a significant look, catching her mid light. The fire crept up the match, but she never lit her cigarette, just letting it burn away as she stared at Soos, until the match snapped and the fire fell to the floor and snuffed itself out. Soos continued, "It all became a wild forest again. No buildings, no cool cars to fix, no cool friends to have... all of it just gone, dawg."

Pacifica shook his arm. "What... happened... to me?" Pacifica tried again. He looked back to her and shook his head. "I... I was erased in this reality? The reality you came from?"

"And us?" Candy asked. Soos gave her another sad nod. Candy let out a small, "Oh no."

"This is heavy," Grenda sighed. Graupner suddenly grunted. Grenda replied by kicking his side, and he whined.

"And me?" Wendy asked.

"Nah, you're with me and the twins," Soos admitted, "We just squeezed by the explosion."

"I'm still alive?" she asked, her eyes re-gaining that energy Soos had seen absent. Yet, he flinched, and couldn't look longer. Another truth he had to say, but hurt too much to just... let go. "Soos?" she asked, "What? Am I... like, in a coma or something?"

"You're, uh, how would Dipper say... complicated?" he tried.

Like that meant nothing to her, Wendy snorted and asked, "Yeah? I am already, so spell it out for me."

"Oh... well, dawg, uh, you died three years before all this happened, but magic sorta like revived you, but as an undead dude person thing, and now you're suffering, but Dipper is trying to-"

"Whoa, WHOA!" Wendy dropped the cigarette on the ground, which got in Graupners face, who grunted and snorted. "I'm a what?!"

Soos opened his mouth, but something in his mind made him close the jaw, and seal it. He needed to try focusing, something that he really wanted Dipper here for. He looked to the four watching him intently. "You all sorta believe me now? That I came here from a dangerous spot and need to stop Bill Cipher?"

"Uh..." Candy said.

"Well..." Grenda shuffled her feet.

Graupner suddenly gave out a muffled shout. "Shh!" Grenda kicked him again, and he whined once more. Blind Ivan made a stifled cry, but Grenda feinted a lunge at him, and he relented.

Soos grumbled, grinding his lips with his teeth. He needed just a little more persuading. "Look!" he gasped, and pulled closer the newspapers. He spotted a news article, "Record of failed events lead to coming elections heavily leaning to pines favor!" Soos said, pointing to a picture of Stan Pines waving at a picture, sunglasses across his face, and Omir Steindorff at his back. "In my timeline, these were busted up and real disasters. Did the talent show get crashed by a giant spider?" he asked.

Pacifica mumbled, "My poor Alphie."

Wendy also grumbled, "And my dad was really looking forward to the business convention setting up." She then pointed to Graupner, "You mean these bozos are the reason for all this mucked up summer?"

"Yeah dawg!" Soos said, and flipped open the article, quickly reading through it. "It says that mister Pines only announced his move as city mayor after he was able to blame all these events on the current one. So, like, he and mister Steindorf are getting all sneaky and trying to make a move on the town together! But it's not actually mister Pines, its instead Bill Cipher!"

"But that's just the beginning of all the bad stuff, guys," Soos dropped the paper as pieces in his mind slowly put themselves together. "Like, if he's got Grauper under control, and he's got Steindorf working for him... and... Bill was using me... before I realized where I was..." Soos remembered what he had been asking for; perpetual energy.

"The portal," Soos gasped.

"Portal?!" the four parroted. Graupner let out a muffled groan.

"Yeah," Soos nodded as he turned and rushed towards the door, "There's this crazy techno gadget under mister Pines home that can, like, make a portal somewhere."

"Somewhere?" Wendy asked.

"Uh... yeah, that's all I got. We never really got the deets on that thing," Soos admitted with a sheepish grin while at the door. "I'm going to call my buds Dipper and Mabel. If there's anytwo who can help defeat an evil demon and his magical army of wizards or sorcerers, its those dawgs," he turned towards the hallway, only to then back out and check on them, "By the way, do you all want any, like, lemonade? I think my fridge has like half a thing of lemonade. Any takers?" he asked. "Wendy? No? Pacifica?"

Pacifica shuddered, and mumbled, "Ew."

Soos nodded, and noted, "Mhmm. Hard pass," and ducked around the wall.

At the mid-hallway table, Soos grasped the phone, and closed his eyes. "Okay. Twins number. Twins number..." He punched in the first thing that came to mind, and to his bemusement a ringtone started. "Yush!" he cheered, punching out at the air.

"Mijo."

"Yes Abuelita?" Soos said, noticing his Grandma looking into his garage.

"There are men in your garage, taken hostage by women," she noted.

"Uh, yeah, that's right," he nodded.

"Ahh," she sighed, "Muy bien," and she shuffled back into her room.

The phone then clicked. "Yeeeessss?" a loud, vibrant voice answered.

"MABEL!" Soos roared with excitement.

"AAAYYYYYYY!" the voice called back.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so glad you picked up the phone," Soos admitted.

"Well, what can I say," the voice of Mabel chuckled, "I'm a pro answer-er of phone-tones."

"Well good. How soon can you get up to Gravity Falls?" he asked, "Cus this is a super emergency." It was quiet. Soos hadn't expected quite the pause. Double checking, Soos asked, "You're there, right Mabel?"

"Uhh, yeah. So, like, Imma be honest with you sir," Mabel sighed, "You had me going with this prank, but this got real weird."

"Huh?" Soos gasped, "Why do you say that?"

"Well, mister unknown person I'm talking to on my phone-"

"Soos."

"Huh?"

"My name is Soos! I, uh, met you and your brother while you visited Gravity Falls?" Soos tried, internalizing the begging his mind was making, pleading for Mabel to recognize him at all.

"Soos... you're not, like, a bigger dude, are you?" she asked.

"YES!"

"I do sorta remember you! Okay, progress, and now less creepy," Mabel admitted, "But really, why are you calling me? I mean, isn't it weird for you to ask a fifteen-year-old to come up to Gravity Falls out of the blue?"

"Well, dawg, if I didn't know you so well," Soos chuckled, "I wouldn't have!"

"Aaaand I think this is getting a little too," she made a terrible gagging noise, "For me, cus I think we met for, like, a day or two. I'm going to go now."

"Wait!" Soos barked, "You train with Arline Hirsh, the fighter who uses fire, don't you!?" he tried desperately. The tone hadn't died, but it was quiet on the phone. "Dawg, Mabel, you gotta trust me. I need your help, and I know it's kinda nutso, but we're friends in another timeline. I need you two to come back here and help me!"

Once again Soos was met with a long period of quiet. He strained his every cell in his ear onto the phone speaker, waiting for a breath, a note, a single piece of evidence that Mabel would say anything to him. That long awaited moment came, and she spoke sadly.

"Soos, I... I don't know how you know that. I haven't even told Dipper that yet, and... look, I don't know why, but I sorta trust you? I think?" she said, more as a question to herself, but Soos shrugged.

"Understandable. I too wonder why I'm so trustworthy."

"But I can't just come up," she said, "It'd take seven hours or something to get there, and my bike is in the shop after I nailed it into a huge orange tree... and my dad isn't going to drive me out because you asked me to come up here..."

Soos held a hand to his chest. "You... you won't help?" he asked, choking on his words.

"Hey, hey!" she said, heeding the pain within his sentence. "I'm sorry! Soos, you really sound like a cool, swell, all around decent guy, but... I'm no good to you. Besides, Dipper won't come up either, even if I asked him."

"Huh?" Soos thought he misheard that, "But you two do everything together."

She snorted. There was a note of poison Soos was not used to when Mabel said, "We used to."

"Mabel?"

Mabel decided, "Soos, I'll give you his number. You try calling him. If you think he'll come... I'll give it a second thought, but only if he decides to go. Okay?" she decided, and Soos wrote down the number.

"Okay... Mabel, uh, in case you don't show up, or something freaky bad happens or something like that, uh, it's nice hearing you again," he said.

"Awww, Soos," she said, "I know that we've met for maybe a day or so, but you just make it feel like we've been friends for years and I didn't even know it!"

"Oh, dawg, you have no idea," Soos chuckled.

"Well, good luck on your quest to save Gravity Falls and timelines," Mabel said, and the phone call ended.

"Drats," Soos mumbled.

"Mijo! Language," Abuelita yelped from the other room.

"Sorry Abuelita," he groaned. He punched in the new number, and hummed. If Dipper and Mabel hadn't been speaking for a while or were in an argument, Dipper could still be mad at Mabel. He considered what to say now, knowing that Dipper may not actually remember him at all. Quickly, the phone was answered.

"Hello, who is this?" Dippers voice asked.

"Hi, this is Soos, from Gravity Falls," Soos stated.

Quickly, Dipper answered, "I think you have the wrong number."

"Well, no, I meant to call you Dipper," Soos quickly stated.

"What? That's not- who are- This is Mason, who's calling?" Dipper snapped.

"Huh, name change huh? Neato," Soos shrugged, "Well, I'm still Soos. I needed to call you for help."

"I don't know anyone named Soos. Who is this? Is this some prank?" Dipper gasped on the other end. "Did Mabel put you up to this?! When I'm in the middle of studying!?"

"Uhh, she did give me the number, but-"

"Can you please- ugh," Dipper heatedly injected, "I don't care what her plans are like, if she doesn't respect my time to study, I'm not giving her the time of day!"

He was certainly quick to jump back at Soos. It caught the handyman off-guard. "Whoa, dawg, she told me to call you-"

"I don't care about your stupid prank calls, okay?" Dipper laid out, "I'm busy preparing for standardized tests that will soon determine my entire life and every single college I'm looking at has a level of pre-requirements that have high study hours."

To that, Soos chuckled. "Oh buddy, at least it's the real you," Soos sighed, "Just as smart as ever."

Perhaps slightly disarmed from Soos' kind words, Dipper grumbled, "...Okay, What do you want, uh, sir?"

"Haha, It's just Soos! Look, I need you and your sister to come up to Gravity Falls to help me stop... uh... well, some uh, shady dawgs from taking over the town?" he tried, too uncertain to not leave a questioning inflection with his last words. The pause from Dipper's side left Soos with a growing discomfort in his middle. He stood, scratching his cap more and more. Finally, after a distinguished pause, Soos got his response.

"Absolutely not," Dipper grunted.

Soos felt that pit in his center take the form of lead. "W-what? Why?"

Dipper scoffed loudly. "Look, I can point out every single thing wrong with a strange adult calling a teenager in the middle of summer, asking him to come up to a town eight hours away, to do something he describes as 'shady'," Dipper began.

At that, Soos winced, and admitted, "Wow, when you put it like that–"

"Not to mention, I don't really care what happens in that town after what my Grand Uncle did," Dipper groaned.

"Mister Pines?" Soos clarified. "What do you mean? He'd never hurt you-"

"Look sir," Dipper cut in quickly, "I'm hanging up. I hope whatever you think is important enough to ask a fifteen-year-old to help with gets resolved and fixed."

Soos felt heat rise in his neck and back. "W-wait, don't-"

"Please do not call back! Good-bye!"

The tone on the phone told Soos he was no longer connected to Dipper, or Mason, as he now went by.

That meant no mystery twins; no Pterodactyl Bros; no back up. Soos put the phone back with a numbed hand that quickly fell to its side. Soos slumped against the wall, his back covered in cold sweat. It had been years, no, decades since he had felt this lonesome. There was no Stanley Pines to guide him, there were no twins to run with, no...

Soos turned back, and made his way through the hallway into the garage. Still tied and looking miserable on the ground was Graupner, who was stood atop by Pacifica. She was busy cleaning her nails, but in the most 'I'd rather not acknowledge how insane this situation is' sort of way. As he stepped inside, Candy and Grenda approached.

"What is happening?" Candy asked.

"Is the coast guard on the way?!" Grenda demanded. Soos sighed and sat on a spare tire. "Oh, only got the army?" she asked again.

Wendy pushed past the two. "Soos, is anyone coming to help?" She asked, playing with her half buzzed-half braided hair.

"I-I, uh," he stammered.

"Mh-hmm-h-hmm," Graupner mumbled and nodded, but then was kicked in the back of the head by Pacifica.

She snapped at him, "Shut up!"

Soos' shoulders fell. "No one. I don't have anyone else to ask to help stop the bad guys," Soos said.

The air, though tense before, hadn't become thick with dread. Those words hit the four girls before him and their postures all changed. Candy and Grenda stared between one another. Pacifica stormed towards Soos and away from Graupner, who mumbled "mhmm-hmm". Wendy slowly took out a new match for her cigarette, and held it to her side, forgetting to even light it. They watched Soos, waiting for him to say something else.

What could he say? There wasn't much else to really tell. He had always depended on being there as a handyman, a fixer. He was told how to go about something, and he'd do it. This was an overwhelming feeling of the weight of the world. This is why Dipper is always tense, Soos suddenly realized, and would have chuckled if he didn't feel slightly sick.

Then... there was a flash of memory. Thinking of Dipper made him consider someone else who was important to him.

My last real order to you, as boss, is to protect my kids until I'm back.

The voice of the man Soos would have proudly called a father made him suddenly stand up.

"But," he proudly said to the others, "I'm going to do it anyway."

"Do?" Pacifica asked.

"Do it?" Grenda and Candy asked loudly.

"Anyway?" Wendy repeated.

"Save the world!" Soos declared proudly. He approached his work bench, "I know this is scary, and pretty dangerous already, but I gotta try to save my friends and Mister Pines. I'm not from this world, but I can't just let that stop me doing whatever I think is the right thing, you know?" he stated as he collected chains, a welding torch, and a lot of screws and nails. "Soos doesn't break a promise if he has any say to it! Even if it's dangerous and possibly really, really even more dangerous! I'm going to save this town, reset time stuff, and do the right thing! Now, who's with me, dawgs!?" he said, holding a hammer high above his head.

Pacifica looked quickly behind her to the tied-up men on the floor, and then turned for the door. Barely looking back, she opened the exit and walked out. "I need to go," she said quietly as the door closed behind her.

"Pacifica?" Soos asked, his pose slightly shaken.

The door barely closed when Candy and Grenda looked to Soos. "We need to go home, Soos," Candy said, pulling at Grenda's arm. The larger of the two turned, and they walked to the exit.

"You two too?" Soos gasped. "But... but-"

"Soos, pal," Grenda shrugged, "I wrestle people. What if they have guns or stuff?"

"This is too much for us," Candy said with a crestfallen glance to Wendy, still standing in the center of the garage. "You should call the police," she told Soos, "But... if you don't, and instead do your plan-"

"Good luck!" Grenda declared as the two of them stepped out.

Soos watched the door close, felt the finality of their departure rattle his bones, twist his mind. Slowly, he looked to Wendy, who held out the match to her face, but had not yet lit the stick. There she was, the last one, the only one who Soos had felt made any kind of real connection with since his arrival in this topsy-turvy world. Wendy must have felt his eyes upon her, as she suddenly turned and looked back.

"Are you leaving too?" Soos managed to ask, the strength of his conviction drawn away with three people leaving his plans. The already pale young woman seemed to appear even more sickly in response, biting at the cigarette placed between her lips. Soos understood that message loud and clear. "Well, I guess if you're going to go... can you please smoke outside?" Soos asked, and he pushed himself back towards the doors.

Passing a rooted, wide-eyed Wendy as he walked back into the house. Soos found his room. It was just as messy as he remembered it being back in his old home, but the smell of his grandmothers cooking permeated the air. It was strange, Soos never would have thought that smelling his grandmothers cooking would have brought him to tears, but there he was, welling up over what were probably carnitas.

He made to close the door behind him and took a seat at his desk, putting his head between his arms and letting the tears fall. Each trail of tears brought along more, as the fear, loneliness, dread, all compounded on himself. He had made this all happen. It was his deal with Kelly Yore that caused this all to happen. Stanley Pines was now possessed. Omir and Graupner were in control of, gosh, everything. What few friends Soos had were not ready for what he had to do.

He was alone. Really, really alone.

Buzz, buzz, buzz.

Soos sniffled as he composed himself. Reaching for his phone in a pocket, he found a familiar face, one he had been relieved to realize was still in his phone. A face of a kind, soft looking woman with brown hair, smiling in an icon at him.

Soos rubbed his eyes and nose with his arm, and answered the phone. "Hi Melody."

"Hey honey – wait, Soos," Melodys voice shifted gears faster than Soos ever could have, even compared to a car he knew like the back of his hand. She asked him with such a tender voice, "Are you okay? What's going on?"

Soos felt more tears fall, of a different kind. He listened to her voice, and this great weightlessness fell over him. "Oh, Melody, it's just a bad day. I'm so happy to hear your voice... I feel like I haven't heard from you in forever."

There was a giggle on the phone, "We call every morning, lunch, and dinner time, you goof."

"Haha, yeah," Soos nodded, "I'm, glad to hear that."

"Soos, tell me what's going on. You sound just terrible," she admitted, and then with a gasp, "Is your grandma okay?"

"Oh, yeah, she's cooking now," Soos said. "No, Melody, I'm in over my head... like, in the dive pool without my floaties bad," Soos added.

"What?" she gasped, "In Gravity Falls – wait, is it those rich people?!" she proclaimed angrily. "Are they behind this?!"

"No, no," Soos assured her shaking his head and sniffling away some of his mess. "Look Melody... I... I found out something really bad is happening, right?" he said, and she gave him the smallest 'mmhmm', "And it's against people that I care about. Like, a lot. And... I may have been part of that," Soos said.

He again waited for Melody to reply, but she was quiet. Listening. Soos decided to continue.

"I didn't mean to hurt anyone, or make it worse," he said, "I just wanted to make what was going on better, but I really messed up, Melody. I really goofed this one. I just... I don't have a lot of people who want to help me with this... I feel so alone... And you know what," Soos went on, "I think I have to do something, even if I'm going to do it alone. But... I'm so scared. I... I don't think I can do it."

She finally spoke up. "How dangerous is it?"

"On a scale of turtle caught in a fence to live wire with no gloves..." Soos gave it a thought, "Probably closer to wires."

Melody audibly sighed on the phone. "And... people you care about are being hurt?"

"Yes," he declared, wiping away tears, created just in the thought of Stanley Pines being trapped in his own body for that many years.

"Soos," Melody started slow and with a shaking voice, "I'm scared now too."

"I'm sorry!" he clapped a hand to his eyes, "That wasn't what I wanted to do, dawg!"

"It's okay, honey," Meldoy said. "I... I wish I could just tell you to go get the cops, or call in someone else... but I know you're still going to do it."

"You... you do?" Soos asked, pulling his hand down. "But its me! I mess so much up..."

Melody chuckled. "Soos, honey, you're unstoppable when you want to do something. You've repaired cars with nothing other than duct tape and pliers. You've been able to fashion more gizmos and gadgets for your grandma than I can count, using scraps from your garage. You're – you're a self-made man who can support his family and retire early because you have so much money. You basically pay for me to visit you, and you've never asked for a thing in the world!" Melody declared.

The breath had all been taken from him. Soos had never heard anyone ever talk to him like that; about him like that. How was it there was anyone in the world who thought he was... anything other than just Soos? The repair guy?

"Melody... you really think so?"

"Honey, you're my super-hero."

Soos laughed as more tears fell.

She spoke again. "I wish I knew you were not going to attack this problem head-on, but... you wouldn't be the guy I love if you didn't, I guess," she sighed. "Just... try not to get too badly hurt, okay?"

"I promise to try my totally hardest, Melody," Soos said, raising a hand aloft in a promise. "When this is all over, we should, like, get married or something." A startled giggle came through the phone. "What? Is that too silly?" Soos asked.

"No, you just low-key proposed to me," Melody said.

"Oh, yeah, I guess I did," Soos said, trying to wipe away at his face.

"But I think I knew that'd end up being how you'd do it anyway," Melody chuckled, also sniffling. "You can do it, Soos. You always have been able to do it."

"Thank you so much, Melody," Soos said, holding the phone tighter than he had ever before, "I need to go. I love you."

A gentle smooch came through the phone. "Go save the world, buddy. I love you too."

The dial ended, and Soos leaned back into the chair. That terrible weight was still in his gut, but he felt strong. He knew the plans he considered, and that they all had great and terrible risk to them. Still, having one person at all at his back was the support he needed. He was going to do this.

Standing and turning for the door, he rushed back into the garage. Wendy was gone, but at he had a frightened Blind Ivan and a confused and stunned Graupner for company, who seemed keen on staring at the underside of a nearby table to him. It was still better than being alone. At least he knew there was anyone at all nearby.

"Okay," he sighed, and eyed his tools and moved to them. "I guess-"

The exit slammed open, and Soos spun around, car jack readied like a baseball bat. Soos thought enemy, but saw the redhead return, a mostly burnt-out cigarette in her mouth.

"Wendy?" he asked.

At the doorframe, the woman took out her cigarette, and threw it over her shoulder. "I Need to know one thing," she asked, silhouetted by the light of the outside world, "Where you come from, in that 'timeline'," she air-quoted, "I'm cursed or something... but, do I have friends?" she asked.

Soos lowered the jack, and smiled. "Dawg. You had so many friends! Dipper and Mabel, and then there was Mister Pines, and Yuki the alien scientist, and Tambry, Lee, Thompson, Nate, I guess Robbie," Soos shrugged, and then chuckled, "And you're my friend right now."

"And what you want to do," she stepped inside, closing the door behind her, "What you want to change, is to go back to that timeline, yeah? So, I'd... have those friends?" she asked with a quiet voice nearing the end. With the understanding that there was one other person who may have felt as alone as he did, Soos smiled and nodded. Wendy sniffled, cracked her neck side to side, and asked, "Where can I help?"

Those who would pass by the Ramierz repair garage through the next hour could hear a chorus of all things mechanical and desperate. The midday sun passed into the afternoon one. The scent of welded steel perfumed the air around the street before the shop. Within the shop, the two had come together under one of the lights in the shop. Working and welding and crafting as the minutes passed into hours, they prepared a daring plan.

Then, out of the blue, a cop cruiser came blaring down the street outside his shop. Then another. Three more. What must have been every single cruiser in the county made its way to be in front of the Ramirez repair garage, blockading the way in and out. Civilians gathered around, trying to see what precisely was happening to the beloved repair man about town. Sheriff Blubs stepped out of his personal police cruiser, along with Deputy Durland, and from the back seat, none other than Omir Steindorf, whom adjusted his bowie as he did. The billionaire looked grumpy.

"Sheriff, my assistant entered and has not yet returned," Steindorf quickly stated aloud, "Arrest those within for kidnapping!"

"Sure thing," Blurbs said, and raised his loudspeaker microphone. "Attention kidnappers!" the sheriff called. "This is the Gravity Falls Police Department! Come out with your hands up!"

"Hey!" a girl about town, Pacifica stomped over to the cops, who seemed unable to hear her. "That's not what happened! The crazy people attacked Soos and he just was better than them!"

"Young lady," Steindorf said quickly, answering for the police as his eyes narrowed while he peered down to her, "Step aside. These officers have work to do."

Pacifica ignored him. "Hey!" she stood in front of Sheriff blubs, waving her arms. "Hello!?"

"Deputy Durland," Steindorf grumbled, "Remove my Northwest from the premises.

"Sure thing," the deputy said, his eyes unfocused as he approached Pacifica, handcuffs at the ready.

"What the heck!?" Pacifica shouted, "You two are supposed to be in my family's pocket! What gives!?" she said as she was held against the car by Durland, and cuffed.

To her words, Omir Steindorf chuckled. "Power changes so quickly, doesn't it?" Steindorf cracked a sneer at the young girl. "You will stay quiet or else these fine officers will have to-"

The garage doors slowly opened. The darkness inside the building betrayed no secrets to who was behind them, but all the cops at once readied themselves, batons out and safeties off. As the squeaking and rattling of the automatic garage doors got half way, an earth-rumbling roar of a truck engine purred to life, along with ten very bright car-lights, mounted all about what seemed to be a strange, bulky truck.

"You ready, Wendy?" Soos asked from inside the machine as he pulled on the gear stick, seatbelts in check. Wendy, behind him in what used to be the Cargo section, now some sort of tiny, armored fortress. Sticking out over the hood of the car, a long nozzle with two sights attached. She reached forward, and with a pull of a small lever, cocked the weapon.

"Improvised nail machine-gun at the ready," she grinned.

"Let's do this!" Soos roared, and shifted the gears, and slammed the gas pedal.

"Mhmm hmmmhm!" Graupner cried out as they sped outward, smashing through the garage paneling with easy. It crumpled, and half the roof of the garage caved with it, exploding out in a cloud of dust and debris that spilled into the street. The engine roaring, the truck was fully exposed to the light of day as the cops all stumbled back and Steindorf stared on in shock.

"Fixing it With Soos," Soos shouted out, "Hero edition!"

The truck was more of an improvised APC: an armored personnel carrier. The glass of the windshield had been re-enforced with a second layer, thicker and less transparent than the prior. Thick chains wrapped the front hood, sheets of steel had been welded to the sides, and the entire cargo hold was now a metal tower fully walled with rods and chains, tall enough for a person to stand within. With a swivel, the tower turned, and Wendy called out. "Drop your weapons!"

Steindorf growled. "Officers, open fire!"

The cops took positions, and began to shoot at the truck. The folk of town screamed and began to seek cover in their homes. As the pistols shot out against the truck, Soos called back to Wendy, "Aim for their tires, dawg!" he shouted as the bullets bounced off his truck, but made enough damage to have Soos sense urgency.

"On it," Wendy grunted as she aimed the nozzle right at the closest cruiser. Holding down the trigger, Wendy buckled as the improved power of the truck rocketed the nails at sonic-speeds, closer to that of the speed of bullets. The nails hailed around the front of the cruiser, with vicious sounding 'thumps' as they made their marks. Only a moment passed before the first tire blew. Wendy laughed as she turned the tower, firing in a line towards one car to the next.

"Take cover you fools!" Omir roared as the cops flinched and stayed put. To his words, the cops did take cover, but their cars were peppered with the hail of nails.

"Soos," Wendy cried out over the barrage she unleashed as she spied Omir Steindorf, "If this guy really is magical, why isn't he using it?"

"Probably doesn't want people to that he's a wizard, or something," he guessed. He looked back to her, "We're about to go. Get ready to swivel backwards."

"Roger that," she grunted, and turned backwards.

Soos took to the turn, and punched the gas again. The wheels spun for a moment, then finding grip against the concrete below them. Pushing forward, Soos felt the momentum of his home-made tank, and found the weakest point amongst the cops that surrounded his home. Honking his horn and shouting "Sorry cop dawgs!" the entire time, Soos rammed into two doors of two separate cars, and plowed through. Wendy cackled and fired at the closest two cars rear-tires, deflating them in moments.

"Soos, mijo," Soos's Abuelita called out by the front door, "Good luck fighting the system."

"Thanks, Abuelita!" Soos waved back, before tucking his hand back inside the car. The cops continued to fire after him, the bullets ricocheting off the vehicle.

"We didn't shake them all!" Wendy shouted. Soos, unable to use his rear mirror, looked to his side. There, four more cop cars, with semi-deflated front tires were making their way past the two ruined cars. Even through the blaring lights, Soos saw the sight of Steindorf within the closest car, pointing to his homemade tank.

"Should I shoot?!" Wendy cried out.

"Uhh," Soos paused. They had the moment of opportunity to do so, but it could really hurt, or even kill the officers. Soos looked back, and finally saw the broken glasses of Sheriff Blubs. The eyes were glazed over, distant and worn. "Just the tires if you can Wendy! The officers are under some sleeping spell!"

"More like mind control," Wendy grunted as she took aim again, "Maybe he does have – WHAT THE–"

From the air, Soos heard thunder. From the air, Soos smelt a horrible acrid smell, like ozone. From the air, Soos saw a flash of bright light, like a forked beam of energy. A great heat passed right over his head, and Soos shouted as Wendy shrieked. He turned back, and saw the majority of the protective tower had been eradicated and scattered to the wind. He made a swerve, avoiding much of the debris from his own tank as it cascaded over the hood of the truck. From the cop car behind them, a smoking hole in the window gave Soos a clear look at Omir Steindorf, who had thrust his cane forward. It smoked at the tip, and slowly rescinded back into the car.

"Wendy!" Soos cried, looking back, "Are you okay?!"

She patted the back window, from the only connection to the swiveling tower and his truck, and Soos slid it open. With a groan and gritted teeth, Wendy pulled herself through. Soos glanced to her and did a double take with his own gasp. Her entire right arm was terribly burnt and blistered.

"Got any water bottles? Bandages?" she grunted, kicking open his glove compartment. A small roll of gauze fell into her hand as it fell open. She started one-handedly wrapping herself up. "It'll have to do," she hissed as she pressed it onto herself.

"You going to be okay?" Soos worried said as he watched her.

Wendy gave a weak chuckle, "I"m- SOOS! ROAD!" Wendy pointed.

Soos noticed he was veering right for an end of the street, and swerved yet again, this time turning to the left, towards the highway. Without the weight of the tower holding him down, he turned quickly enough, and saw at the corner of the street two familiar figures, holding bottles.

"FIGHT THE POWER!" Grenda roared as she and Candy waved at Soos, before turning and throwing their smoking bottles at the closest cop car. They slammed and shattered into the broken windshield. Fire spread instantly over the entire car, and the two girls fled as the car made too sudden a turn and spiraled out of control. Taking what could have been five or six flips before crashing into a fence, the following five cars all slammed into it, piling into a flaming, mind-controlled mess.

"Go Soos! Go!" Candy and Grenda cried as he zoomed away from them.

Peering out of the window, Wendy whistled. "Soos, you sure make some friends," Wendy sighed as Soos adjusted the gears, staring at the rear mirror behind him.

"I hope they're all okay," he muttered as he made a turn onto the highway. He'd soon be on his way to the mystery manor, or Shack, he supposed.

"Soos, they were shooting at us," Wendy glared at him, "Trying to kill us."

"Yeah," Soos shrugged, "But, like, they don't need to burn to death. That's just the worst, dawg."

Wendy snorted and rolled her eyes. Then she cringed and held her bandaged arm. "Fair enough. Being burnt sucks."

"Do you need anything?" Soos asked her as he turned down the dirt path that would lead to the shack.

"I might have, if I wasn't totally convinced about what you had said earlier," she said while staring at him, "if you're really from another time line, when you fix it, it all just go back to whatever it was before. Like... You really are from another timeline. The rich dude back there threw a lightbolt at my face!" she laughed. She suddenly was laughing even more.

"Wendy, you're going crazy dawg," Soos worriedly said, driving down the path.

"This is crazy!" she cried out as tears fell down her face. "All of what you're doing is crazy! The cops are crazy!" she laughed, and again cringed and settled into her seat more. "At least pain is still recognizable," she said, cradling her arm.

Soos started to chuckle. "Wendy, dawg, you're just as cool here as where I'm from," Soos chuckled. Wendy stared at him, a light restored to her eyes. Soos barely had time to see it, for he was focused ahead. It had finally come into view, his destination; the Mystery Shack. Soos felt apprehension slowly grow within his chest. He felt tight in his ribs as he slowly came to a stop before the parking lot. "There's a crazy dream demon triangle possessing the man of mystery in there," Soos said sternly, focusing ahead.

Wendy stared at him. "Uhh... those all were words just there, yeah."

"I... I think I need to stop him. If I can do that, maybe I can make the portal send everything back to the way it was," Soos considered.

"You think it can do that?" Wendy asked.

"Dawg, it can do way more than that," Soos said, "In my timeline, it erased Gravity Falls from time and history. Still working on fixing that one, I think. Zander's plan is sorta mysterious," Soos admitted as he opened the door and stepped out. Wendy made to the same. As he stepped out, Soos took out his tool belt and attached it to his pants. Giving it a quick adjustment, he stepped towards the Mystery Manor.

Then, sirens far behind them began to grow in volume. They turned and looked back. Red and blue lights dimly shone in the distant woods.

"Oh shoot! They knew we were coming here!" Soos clapped his hands on his head.

"Yeah," Wendy said, and closed the door before her, staying in his truck.

"Wendy? We need to run!" Soos shouted as he ran over to the driver side, but saw as Wendy scooted over, into the driver seat, and closed the door with a lock. "Hey! What are you doing!?" he asked, trying to open the door.

The window rolled down, and Wendy spoke out. "If you're going to change the timelines or whatever, what I'm about to do won't matter in the long run, will it?" she asked, and then adjusted the gear with her bandaged arm. She cried out, but the truck spun about.

"Wendy, wait!" Soos cried.

Facing the path, the truck drove onwards. Soos ran after it for a moment, but a hand shot out of the window, waving at him. He heard over the growing sirens only five words before Wendy vanished from sight, "Go be a hero, Soos!"

Soos spun, and ran into the front door of the mystery shack. The lights were off, but Soos knew the place like the back of his hand, and he rushed over to the vending machine – only to find it already open.

Bill Cipher would be somewhere downstairs.

Soos gulped, and slowly removed a plunger from the tool belt. Holding it aside like a warrior might with a sword, he slowly descended down the stairs. The lights by the elevator were still functional and turned on. Soos saw the buttons before him, and noticed that the elevator had not been sent up yet.

Bill Cipher was definitely downstairs.

Soos, trembling, pushed the button for the bottom floor. The old mechanisms of the ancient elevator slowly came to life and whirred, summoning the elevator back to the top floor. The grates opened after several seconds passed, beckoning Soos to his destiny. He strolled in, and started breathing faster. Each step felt like it was somehow laced with explosives; if he were to misstep once, that would be the end of the story. Still, he stood up, even as his head felt light and unable to focus, he pushed the button. The floor beneath him lurched and Soos panted heavily. He saw the earth ascend above him, casting him into the depths, towards the portal, towards... his goal. He was now, truly, alone.

The elevator stopped at the last floor, and the grates opened once more. Soos took step by step towards what would surely be a confrontation. The laboratory before the portal was lit, but empty. The windows before him were all alight with blue glow, which Soos instantly recognized as the portals glow. He marched towards the windows and saw...

Stanley Pines facing the portal, turned away.

He approached the doorway, and stepped through the already opened metal door. No sooner had he done so than it closed behind him. Soos jumped away, and looked back quickly at the only escape out, locked.

"Soooooo, big guy," the voice of Stanley Pines called out, but the words of Bill Cipher teased, "You really think you've been a smart teeny little human, haven't you?"

"Bill," Soos gulped, and held the plunger closer.

"You've come too close to the truth, big buddy Soos," Cipher smirked, showing Stans yellowing dentures. "I think you're ready to become the third in my collection," Cipher beamed.

"Collection? Like a statue?" Soos gasped.

"No, not until I enter this realm in my ethereal form," Cipher grumbled, scratching his chin, "No, no! I mean... collection of bodies," he said, and waved to a spot just under the windows that looked into the lab.

Soos glanced over and gasped. Four chains hung from riveted slabs of steel, and in the chained cuffs were two skeletons, one with a pair of broken glasses and the other with six fingers on each hand. "Mister Fiddleford! And Mister Stanford!" Soos quietly said, and turned his attention back towards the grinning figure facing him. A hollow voice told Bill Cipher, "You killed them."

"They were good practice," Cipher chuckled, and then darted forward. "How about you be my first real masterpiece!?" he shouted.

Soos shouted in panic, and swung out with the plunger.

FWOOP!

The rubber and wood connected with the side of Stanley Pines head, and the man was lifted to the side and thrown down into a crumpled mess. Soos stepped around him, getting in between the possessed figure and the portal. Stans body slowly rose back up, like a doll willed to stand by its puppeteer.

Soos growled, staring at the broken glasses and a trickle of blood coming from Stans lip. "I know what you are, you crazy, nutso triangle!"

"Whoa! Hold the language," Cipher called out, "No need to die with a potty mouth. OH!" he clapped his hands together, "New torture idea... wait," he glared at Soos, his eyes bugging, "I still don't know how you knew I wasn't the old coot."

"I knew what Mister Pines eyes look like, dawg," Soos reminded him.

"How?!"

"I used to work here," Soos proudly declared.

Cipher stared at him, his eyes unfocused. The exposed yellow eyes looked around, seeing to focus on small rocks as his inner, alien, triangle mind fought for answers. Suddenly, he gasped. "You never met Stanley boy, not in this... this time-" And then Cipher roared terribly- "KEEEELLLLLLYYYYY!"

"She's changed the time and stuff!" Soos declared, scared and shaking to see his old boss shake and scream like that. "And I'm going to change that right now!" he said, and made to turn for the portal.

"Ah, ah, ah!" Bill Cipher suddenly whipped out from his pocket a small knife. Soos held out his plunger, but his jaw fell out as Cipher held the knife to Stans neck. "Take another step, and the old man... well, our journey takes a new direction."

"You... you wouldn't!" Soos cried, tears falling from his face. "Th-thats my da- I mean, Mister Pines!"

"Maybe he is, maybe he's just a paternal figure you're calling daddy, it doesn't matter," Cipher laughed manically, "But if you're going to ruin everything like this, what's the point of having a body at all? I think, especially watching you cry like a baby there," he said, slowly stepping up, but keeping the knife at his neck, "You won't. You can't! Face it, big guy, you can go as far as you need to, but in the end, you're just a big, fat, crying baby stuck in a man's body. Might as well just surrender and let my slice you up like a thanksgiving turkey! Or maybe I'll dice you up like a Vathryn Molmgor on their first spring day!" he added.

Soos stared at the approaching monster, matching his steps backwards. What could he do?! How could be beat Cipher if he was going to hurt Stanley!?

Then... he remembered again...

My last real order to you, as boss, is to protect my kids until I'm back.

Soos stood his ground and puffed out his chest. "I'm sorry, Mister Pines," he said to the inhabited body, wiping away the tears. "I made a promise to you once. In, like, a different time or something. I... I need to protect your grandkids! Even if that means," Soos turned, and started walking to the portal, "That I can't protect you."

"WHAT!?" Bill Cipher raged. "You..! YOU..! THEN STAN PINES DIIIIES!" He laughed manically.

There was a terrible thud, and Soos turned back once more, just in time to see Stan Pines thrust himself in the chest with the knife, the blade vanishing. The body fell forward and collapsed to the ground. Soos felt all the warmth of the world fall away, numbness climbing over him as a form of death. He saw the unmoving body of Stanley Pines, and his grip over his plunger vanished. The object fell and bounced away, leaving him half turned to the body, half to the portal.

He... he had to move still.

Soos turned, sniffling and wiping at his face, marched towards the portals panel. Fumbling on the tool belt, he tried withdrawing a wrench or hammer, but his sweaty, cold hands couldn't really hold well. He even stopped, and took a moment, watching the ground beneath him become peppered by teardrops.

Then there were rapid footsteps behind him.

"HEY!" Soos spun around just in time to avoid Stanley Pines. He was up! Running at him! And there was no wound in the chest.

"Mister Pines!?" Soos barked as he stepped out of the way of the attack, trying to again distance himself. "How are you-" He spotted the knife handle in Stans hands- without a blade. Then it flipped back out. "A retractable knife! It was a trick," Soos stated, and pulled out a wrench.

With a sneer, the face of Stan Pines yapped, "Like I'd just let you get away with this, but now I see you're just like a demon!"

"What?" Soos said, now blocking and trying to avoid each slashing of the knife.

"You would have let him die! The person you almost call a dad! HAH!" Bill cackled, juggling the knife in a feint, and then attacking with the other hand as he caught the knife, "You're just like me! You're in this for yourself!"

Soos stalled for a moment. That was wrong. That made him... mad. It infuriated him! Soos clenched his teeth and swung with the wrench. The impact shattered the knife from Stan's Hand, knocking the blade and handle to the floor in a shower of plastic and metal.

The attack left the demon a few phases past stunned. He eyed his hand, with the broken handle of a trick weapon. "Wait," Bill Cipher slid to a stop, looking at the disarmed hand, "You- you're supposed to be a coward! You've been crying this whole time!"

"Dawg," Soos growled, as he threw the wrench to the ground, and lunged out and grabbed Stans arms, "I am not like you! I care about my friends and family more than you could, like, ever know!" And with a tremendous heave, Soos lifted Stan into the air. Bill Cipher started clambering to little effect.

"Let me down! What are you doing with me!" Bill said, spit spraying from his lips like a geyser. Soos turned, holding the squirming, possessed, defeated old man and started marching to the portal. "Hey... hey, wait a second," Bill said, noticing the intended destination. "Fine, you want it? Have it! You can drop me, okay?" Bill tried, trying to gently let himself down, but to no avail. "HEY! FATTY! IDIOT! LET ME GO! I SAID-"

"I'm going to do what Stan would have wanted if he knew this was what was coming," Soos said, and stood before the portal by some ten feet.

Stan's eyes widened and Bill shrieked, "NO! DON'T YOU DARE!"

Soos roared, and ran forward.

"GET LOST!" Soos shouted, and launched Stan Pines airborne at the portal.

As he watched the man sail towards the portal, suddenly, from behind him, Soos heard "Darn you, Soos."

The world shot itself free of color, and the world slowed to a halt. Only Soos remained of color, and that of Stans yellowed eyes, belonging to Bill. They moved around, watching the world, unable to move anything else. Soos turned, and there, floating some three feet from him, was the Triangle lady of Kelly Yore.

"Miss Yore," Soos panted, rubbing his eyes.

"You'd really just hurl my brother into a portal," she said, her eye squinting madly at him. "Just for my attention. Soos, you-"

Unafraid to cut her short, Soos asked, gently but firmly, "Undo this, please."

"And if I refuse?" she asked, leaning back on her parasol, her eye looking down at Soos.

"Then, well," Soos looked around, and then shrugged. "I dunno. I guess we're just stuck here until one of us gets tired. But I want my friends back, and you don't want your brother going back there, do you?" he said, pointing to Stan Pines. Kelly eyed the situation, and closed her lid with a sigh. "Miss Yore, I'm sorry that you think this is what I wanted, but what you want and what I wanted are, like, not at all the same. Just two wacko minds that want different things, you know?"

The triangle floated to him, opening its lid and staring. Blue and silver shimmered against him, and she nodded. "I suppose you are right, in some sense, Soos. We don't want the same things. I seem to rarely find those who see eye to eye with me. Not even my brother and I agree on things," she said, her eye gazing over to the stuck in time body of Stan Pines. They yellow eyes stared back at the blue triangle.

"Will you do it?" Soos asked. "Send everything back to the way it was?"

She turned back, rolling her eyes, "Not like I have much of a choice, do I?" she sighed, "I am a demon of the past, but not of the now. I need your permission to interact with the timelines, anyway..." she patted the parasol against his head, "I suppose we have a deal."

Upon impact, Soos felt his eyes grow heavy. He slowly leant backwards, vision going darker and darker. Had she done something to him? She floated directly above him, shaking her body side to side as the rest of the world slowly was pulled and twisted into a vortex of color and light. Soos was awake, but his body was heavier than the earth itself.

"Soos, I don't know if we'll talk again, but I want you to know, at minimum, you were only a little less considerate than the Pine Twins were," she said. "At least they and their friends asked me kindly for aid, in exchange, of course," she sighed. "Back to that timeline, I suppose. Remember, Soos: Thoughts die as they are created, memories are of only the dead, brush your teeth each morning or you'll forget, fareweeeeeeell!"

---

Soos shot up with a yell, pulling himself off the wall with a start and a yell. Four figures all darted away from him, yelling or crying out in some way. Soos held out his hands as best he could, ready for a fight; to defend himself again if he needed. Yet, he saw a girl with long red hair who looked very tired, a middle-aged man with thick brown hair and a coat over his shoulders, and two... two people who looked very familiar to Soos. Brown hair, teenagers, one with a large sweater, and the other wore a rugged blue cap atop his head.

"GUYS!" Soos roared and rushed the twins, scooping both up in his largest, bone-crushing hug yet.

"Ack! SOOS!" Dipper Pines gasped and spat for breathe.

"That's right," Mabel Pines cackled, "Show me your best rib-breaker! SQUEEZE HARDER!"

He dropped the two, looking to each of them, exactly as he had remembered them before being off to that other world. "Guys! You're okay! I'm back!" he said, looking around in the unfamiliar city of Pittsburg. He took in a long whiff of air. "Ahh, that smell of industrial world."

"Soos, what happened?" Dipper asked, eyeing his larger friend.

"Yes, some answers will be needed," Stanford Pines added, adjusting himself as he approached Soos wearily, "Something odd happened here, didn't it?"

"Oh, you guys," Soos laughed, "I'll tell you everything that happened. But... I'm just so happy to be back!" he bellowed, and again lunged at Dipper, who buckled under the mountainous grip. Mabel cheered on and Stanford Pines seemed concerned, trying to ease Soos off his twitching, blue in the face grand-nephew.

Wendy Looked on, staring intently at the lot. Her eyes were wide and she felt breath escape her lips once, which seemed to startle her. She put a hand at her own lips, and waited. No more breath escaped her mouth. As it was supposed to be. Yet... something felt odd. Wrong, even. She looked to her hand, knowing again it was okay that she felt nothing but hunger and fatigue. Then why was it she felt a distant burning?

Something blue and silver caught her eye in the distance. She whipped her head to see it, but it wasn't there. An empty street, devoid of movement. She blinked, but still saw nothing.

"Wendy?" Soos called out.

Wendy turned back, adjusting her hat, and following them back inside to the motel they had rented out. Wendy stepped over a small puddle in the pavement, which rippled. Staring out at her, a small triangle of blue and silver floated in the reflections. The five went inside, but not were not unseen, for she watched.

"Soon, Wendy, dear," the soft voice of Kelly Yore cooed from the puddle, "Soon... soon you will-" a car drove and parked onto the puddle, and Kelly suddenly found herself muffled and crying out "-MMfff! Hmm! Hmm hmm, hmm mmm mmhmm hhhmmmm!"

---

Nope. This is not your imagination. The story was updated. I'm not dead.

Hi everybody! It's been a long time. Hope life has been kind to you.

Now, lets get the obvious things out of the way, since I'm sure I'll be reprimanded either way. :p

I'm sorry I left you all in the dust. If you'd allow me to explain, when I began writing this story, I had been in college, which I only recently realized I had much more time than I do now. Since then, I've sort of become an adult? Renting places, getting jobs, adopting puppers, the whole nine yards.

That stress of learning to really lean on your own weight killed a lot of my creative ability. These entire two years I have been staring at my computer, wondering when the heck I will return. Sometimes I'd sit down, and just write out a word or two, and then suddenly feel like it meant nothing, and give up. I'm just happy to finally finish this half of the episode at all.

Creatively, I suppose, I was sorta dead. But I'm... I think I'm back.

I've already got the next episode under works, and I hope by the end of May both part one and two will be posted. But scheduling will be difficult. I'll be trying to update every monday if possible. Hopefully we can get this rolling again. We're almost half way through season 3, and then... the end is in sight.

If anything, I deserve to finish this story to you out there, reading this, wondering what really would have happened. Lets explore that question together.

Anyway, I hope I haven't tormented any of you too severely! ;D

The next Episodes to be released will be "The Devils Dude". Hope you're as excited as I am to have this back in their lives.

Who knows, maybe even next release I'll randomly be killed again-

*An enormous foot emerges from the heavens crushes EZB and his townhouse with a loud 'pfft'*

---

"You failed, Aberta! I don't care for your excuses!"

An angry jab at the touch screen turned the phone off. Atop a tall office building in Pittsburg, Graupner Kinley spied the horizon. His hair billowed in the elevated winds he stood amongst, watching the cloudy skies and the distant suburban landscape with one human eye, and an empty socked with a floating red gem within, acting as a magical pupil. He clenched onto the phone, ready to hurl it off the building, to better ventilate-

It buzzed. Withholding his rage, Graupner heatedly jabbed at the screen. He answered, with a snap, "What?!"

"How did the chat with mister Jeffreys go?" Alvis Leuthor's tone called through the phone.

"The idiot," Graupner snarled. "He wanted compensation even though he failed entirely!" Gaupner paced away from the edge of the tall building, pulling at his hair. "Like we'd give him that. I told him he's absolutely fired, and not even close to his brother in talent."

"Naturally," Alvis sighed on the phone, "I suppose in our unique case, we don't need allies or friends."

Graupner paused. That almost… almost sounded like sarcasm. "Did you just sass me?" he whispered, a deadly tone in his voice.

"Never dream of it, sir," Alvis proclaimed, "But we did get a notification from one 'Kelly Yore'."

"Ah," Graupner leaned on a radio dish. "What did she want?"

"She said she thinks she can provide out promise to Cipher," Alvis mentioned, "The body of a person who will suit the demon."

Graupner pushed off the device, grinning. "She's sure?"

"Seemed confident," Alvis, "But all demons seem to be."

"Good. Very good," Graupner smiled and licked his lips, "We finally might have a reliable person to work with. The twins can't keep running forever."

"Speaking of which," Alvis added, "Our other demon friend, Bill Cipher, has said that he has a fascinating way to encourage more of our employees. With your permission, and mine," Alvis added quickly, "He would like to turn our forces into, ah, maniacs, as he said. Magical Fanatics to our goals."

"Will they perform better?" Graupner demanded.

"Seemed confident," Alvis repeated.

"Do it," Graupner sneered.

"Ah, of course," Alvis muttered. "Uh, do you mind me asking a question?" "He said.

"What? Is it important?" Graupner rolled his eyes.

"Well, our forces were already fairly effective. Without the intervention of these members of the paths that the 'Gaurdsman' reunited, we would have entirely defeated the survivors from 'Gravity Falls'. Is it, uh, necessary to turn your hard fighting men and women into fanatics? That's a lot of dangerous people out there..."

"I don't care," Graupner snapped, "As long as th-the mission is completed, I can have as many or as few diots fighting for me as I need!"

"Of course, sir," Alvis curtly replied. "I'll see to it the rituals for improved fanaticism are created. I must say, It is also good to hear that you are overcoming that vocal pain you've long struggled with," Alvis said, and hung up.

Graupner held the phone to his side, and finally lowered it to stare. Had he... truly improved his ability to speak without needing to clutch at his throat? He felt little else, for the pain in his neck seemed little compared to the exhaustion he was started to balance minute by minute, hour by hour.

He rolled his eyes and put away his phone. In the end, it didn't really matter. Incantations had never been a problem, just speaking to people. People had never mattered; none of them did. They were either going to help his goal, be trampled by his mission, or stay out of the way. Easy to classify. He was, after all, better than them all.

Once he had Bill Cipher in the bag, there wasn't anyone he could think of that could stand in his way. He would finally be, indisputably, the strongest.

---

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