After Montauk both, Monica and Chandler, will face changes in what each of them, until that moment, had as certainties about their lives, without realizing where what they were looking for to achieve their dreams was and those changes will probably feel like earthquakes. In their hearts, the unpredictable, the unthinkable will cause their certainties and their destinies to change.

I hope you like de story, and that you tell me his opinions, through them I know if I'm on the right path.

Remember English is not my native language, I hope the translation is correct, check it, but sometimes I miss some incorrect personal pronouns for the phrase, sorry.

I reiterate, I do not own the characters of Friends I only rely on them for the pure pleasure of writing stories without any economic interest, and Monica and Chandler they inspire me

Chapter 1 - Discovering feelings

Chandler

It was mid-July 2097.

Chandler entered his apartment, grabbed a beer from the fridge and sat on the couch, happily Joey was not there. -

The entire weekend at the beach had been a disappointment and in some ways a dip in cruel reality.

It had never crossed his mind to say anything to Monica about his feelings for her, he knew the answer was going to be negative, but deep inside him there was a small ray of hope.

The same thing had happened to him for years during his childhood when his mother went to pick him up from boarding school for a weekend or to spend a party and his ray of hope made him believe that maybe this time they would go to the park or the movies together, or to the zoo, but as soon as thet got to the apartment his mother changed, put on makeup, gave him a kiss and left him with the babysitter.

Already in adolescence he had learned not to have hope, it was a feeling that always ended in frustration, when his mother appeared he already knew what was coming, he no longer cared, he would watch television alone in the huge living room.

For that reason, he had made an effort to bury hope, he couldn't allow himself to have it, he just had to enjoy what was in front of him at every moment, he would never expect anything from anyone again, they would not hurt him again.

But last Friday, while they were waiting for Phoebe with the taxi to take them to Montauk, Monica was so depressed about not having a boyfriend, that for a second, a fateful second, he let hope slip away, he thought it might be his chance to talk, so he offered to be her boyfriend, and what he received in response was a laugh.

For Monica, the proposal was just a joke by Chandler, he was clear about it at that very moment, because with her laughter it was clearly evident that for her he is just that, "Chandler", who makes everything he says laugh, they are just the words of a clown, he was Chandler, you couldn't expect anything more than that, a stupid joke.

At that moment his stomach clenched, but he realized that, if she thought that way about him, it was better that she keeps thinking it, it would have been humiliating if after laughing at him she had realized that "Chandler" was serious, that's why he continued with the supposed joke throughout the weekend, until Monica was burned by the jellyfish.

They didn't know how to calm her down, she was screaming in pain, and Joey remembered the effective treatment he had heard about on the Discovery Channel, which Chandler also knew about.

As embarrassed as he was, he had done what he had to do, Joey didn't cheer up, but he couldn't let Monica continue to suffer, and he acted as he had seen on television.

The "treatment" had worked, and the three returned to the cabin ashamed but determined not to tell the others, although Joey finally ended up confessing and everyone found out about the horrible episode.

Now he had just come from apartment 20, where he had been playing cards with Monica, they were having a good time, they always had a good time together, talking, watching a movie, going shopping every Saturday, even supporting each other in bad times, and it occurred to him to make a new and veiled insinuation, this time trying not to sound like a joke but rather mischief.

Monica's response to the new insinuation had been forceful, even somewhat condescending, so as not to sound like a rejection of something that had not actually been said as a serious proposal, but categorical enough for him to end what for her was a silly little game

She told him that he was cute, that she loved him, but "he would always be the one who peed on her."

Wow, his intervention to help calm her pain had become another reason not to take him into account, she would never look at him differently, he was the clown who had pissed on her. The love she said she really felt for Chandler was of no use to him.

You can feel the same about a pet, that it is cute, that you love it, but you will never forget that it peed on your leg.

It was time to do something with his feelings and his life, but what and how?

He could move, go away so he wouldn't see her every day and surely with time he could get over her, but that thought lasted seconds, the gang was the only family he had, he wouldn't survive without them, except for his uncle and his cousins who were far away, and occasionally his mother, no one else took him into account. There were times when he felt that even for his friends he was the most disposable of the group and surely they could go on without him, but he couldn't go on without them, he was clear about that.

In short, it was highly likely that he would end up alone, being the single uncle that his friends would invite to his children's birthdays, perhaps he would even become godfather to one of them.

The other option would force him to make a great effort to move forward, to bury his feelings forever, to hide them from others but most of all from himself, clearly this form of mourning was not the first time he had tried it, he had tried it many times to do with his parents, but to tell the truth he had only partially succeeded, since every now and then his memories, the childhood loneliness, the recurring idea that he was to blame for not being loved because he was not good enough, the feeling of not of interest to anyone, they suddenly resurfaced from within him like lava from a volcano to spread out, burning his heart and suffocating his head.

And although over the years he had come to a certain understanding with his mother, that she claimed to love him, he could not understand how you can love someone, especially your child, in the face of such emotional, physical and temporal distance.

But continuing to brood over his old traumas and insecurities was not going to help him, he had to seriously set out to find someone and never allow himself to compare to "her", no one would be like "her", so he would have to focus on the virtues of the new woman, who would surely have them, although he knew that the most difficult part of the process would be to fall in love, to unconditionally give his soul and heart, as he had done with Monica, that dedication that grew day by day during all these years, even knowing that his romantic love was not reciprocal, but for him, until now, she was the only person he would trust with his life. Would he be able to go that deep with another? How long would it take?

Since falling deeply in love, being willing to give one's life for the woman he loved was decisive in any relationship he faced, without love on his part his life would be nothing more than a parody of that of his parents.

He was not brave, but this time he would have to take some risk.

Monica

After Chandler left, and while she was putting away the deck of cards, picking up and washing the glasses on the table, she began to think about what she had told Chandler that "he would always be the one who pissed on her" and she realized that it had been a mistake, lousy answer.

He had helped her in the only way he could, he had been brave, something that Joey was not, and he had been totally embarrassed, she, instead of thanking him for what he did, punished him with a sentence that seemed like a sentence of guilt.

But now that she could do, she had already said it, apologizing would probably be worse, it would bring both of them that feeling of shame.

However, Monica, thinking about the moment she said the phrase, clearly remembered that she was looking into his eyes, and she realized that the expression on his face and especially his gaze had become clouded, it had hurt him, at best friend, whom he had always supported her unconditionally, had hurt him.

She was sure of it, she didn't know how or why, but when she looked into his eyes she felt like she could reach his soul, it was with the only person that happened to her, his gaze was so transparent, like that of a child who doesn't hide nothing, and even though he tried to hide everything with his actions by saying jokes and sarcasm, his gaze gave it away before her, she knew if he was happy, sad, anxious, upset, just by looking into his eyes.

And when she said that idiotic phrase to him, she was sure that she had seen a shadow of discouragement or sadness. She had evidently hurt him.

Rachel's arrival took the thought out of her head for a moment.

But, for the rest of the day, she couldn't stop thinking about Chandler, she was aware that he was a fundamental part of her life, she knew of his insecurities, his sensitivity to rejection, and now she had hurt him with her words. She had offended him, God! she could lose it!

That afternoon everyone gathered in apartment 20 to eat Chinese food and watch a movie.

Monica noticed Chandler was a little quieter, as if there was something that was worrying him, he avoided her gaze, and when it was time to watch the movie he sat on the couch, next to Phoebe, when he always sat next to her in the small sofa This time Monica had to sit next to her brother, and while he didn't smell bad, he didn't smell like Chandler who wore an aftershave cologne that was enveloping and very masculine. Chandler also didn't make much of a comment about the movie and left when he finished saying good night to everyone.

Rachel asked Monica, "What's wrong with this guy?"

"I don't know? Is something wrong with him? "I didn't realize," she replied, also trying to hide her concern.

She was sure now, from his behavior and the distance he had kept from her, that he must be in pain or upset, and that worried her greatly.

At night, when she went to bed, she continued to remember the episode, worried about Chandler's behavior that night.

And she also tried to remember step by step his behavior during the entire trip, since she had been strange and insistent with his joke.

She remembered perfectly the moment when he had proposed to be her boyfriend, she was sure he meant it as a joke, however, now, remembering his look and his gesture when she laughed out loud, she had also seen the same shadow in his eyes.

She realized that, even if he had made that proposal as a joke, the reaction she had had been excessive, it did not seem like she was laughing at a joke, because from her gestures, words and laughter, she looked as if she were laughing. laughing at him, she had even reaffirmed it, how could he be her boyfriend if he was Chandler, just Chandler!

The rest of the weekend at the beach he had continued with the topic, but she was now sure that what he repeated over and over again at the cabin he was really saying in jest, however, now, thinking about it, she wondered. If the first time at the table outside the cafeteria, had it been a joke?

She hadn't had time to reflect at that moment on Chandler's look, Joey had arrived and then everyone else and the episode remained like the beginning of the joke that lasted all weekend.

Then, the episode of the jellyfish sting had ended in an embarrassing situation for both of them.

And in that train of remembering the events of that day, Monica remembered having closed her eyes when Chandler began the treatment.

And the first thing that popped into her head was to say to herself, "I was a fool, I should have spied a little!" and then she stopped and said, "God, what am I thinking?" ….. He is my friend!

Only now she began to feel very curious about, she had seen Joey on lemonade day, and what she saw was something standard. However, the day in the cafeteria they had talked about the size of a man's penis and the premise was introduced according to which the size could be deduced based on the distance between the thumb and the index finger with the open hand, she had seen clearly Chandler's distance had turned out to be the greatest, despite Joey's complaint.

On the beach she had had the chance to check it out and she had missed it! She had been a fool.

She suddenly repeated herself, I'm crazy thinking about my friend's penis! what's happening to me?

But the topic of Chandler's penis continued to intrigue her and now remembering her romantic past she could assure that none of them had been outstanding, perhaps Boby with something around a 7 and that wanting to give a grade.

Richard had definitely surprised her, with his height and her bearing he had imagined something to match, but he turned out to be a standard 7, and his lovemaking prowess was nowhere near as sexy as he seemed. It wasn't bad, but he had never managed to lift her to heaven.

And being her was elevating to heaven, as some of her friends had described to her due to the intensity of the experience, she could swear that until now she had never felt it. –

So, going back to his best friend, taking into account his past experience and the hand test, she estimates that Chandler must have been an 8 or 9. What a fool, why didn't I look?

Besides, he thought, there must be something special about Chandler for Janice to pursue him so much, she is clearly very, very hot, so Janice must have found a great lover in him, I don't think for a 6 or 7, which is also not the case very skilled on the subject, she was so persistent.

Her thoughts returned to earth, she didn't understand why tonight she was so interested in the sexual and lovemaking qualities of her best friend, she had never stopped to look at him that way, she had always looked at him like she looked at her brother, sexless, but today she was intrigued, evidently very intrigued, and she said to herself again, "If only I had spied," part of this riddle would be solved and she could move on from it.

She finally fell asleep, only she had a restless dream and when she woke up she was surprised, she remembered having dreamed of making love with Chandler, her best friend! Obviously her thoughts before going to sleep had led to that crazy dream, which also turned out to be quite satisfactory in all aspects, in her dream it was undoubtedly a very skilled 9.

After a few minutes of trying to remember all the details of the dream, she told herself that she had gone crazy. After showering and dressing she left her bedroom, everyone was arriving for breakfast, the problem was that Monica couldn't stop looking at Chandler without remembering her dream, she felt hot and a little embarrassed. She couldn't continue this, she was crazy, probably because of the lack of a real boyfriend.

Monica and Chandler

However, in the days that followed Monica's thoughts did not stop disturbing her, they did not go away, to make matters worse she now saw Chandler with different eyes, all these years she had observed him, perhaps superficially, from the point of view of a friend, but now looking at it from Monica's point of view, as a woman, she liked Chandler's physical appearance, affectionate nature, loyalty, uniqueness, she was realizing that it was no coincidence that they were so close, they enjoyed each other. His company, his closeness, his hugs, his humor, his look, his smile, his smell, there was no doubt that he was very handsome, and except for his insecurities, he was a man with whom she would want to have a relationship, if not because he doesn't want to have one.

These thoughts worried her, her feelings of friendship for Chandler, which had been so clear until a few days ago, were now changing radically, or perhaps they were simply surfacing because they had been unconsciously ignored for years.

And to make matters worse, after the card game Chandler had started to behave a little strangely, as if he were trying to get away, he excused himself from going shopping with her on Saturday, he avoided her gaze, he made fewer jokes, Monica thought that this was because she had hurt him and he was resentful, but she was also afraid that the estrangement would increase, just now that she wanted him around all the time!

For his part, Chandler tried to make a huge effort to get away from Monica, even if it was just a little, just to give himself the opportunity that if someone appeared in his life he could try to move forward.

However, everything was useless, he suddenly found himself looking at her without being able to take his eyes off her, and he ended up getting closer, he went back to accompany her to do the shopping, to watch a movie together on the small sofa, to get away from her would be a difficult task.

Chandler's change of attitude, returning to her, filled her with hope, she would have to find a way to find out if the proposal had been real.

At the end of August, during late Sunday lunch, Chandler announced that from Thursday to the following Sunday he was going to Boston, his cousin Albert was getting married on September 6 and he was invited.

Where will you stop? Joey asked him.

"I guess in my uncle Tom's house, he is my dad's older brother, he has two children, the eldest, Albert and a younger woman, Steffi, a few months older than me, she is adopted because my aunt Mary had a problem giving birth to Albert and she couldn't have any more babies."

And he continue telling them, "In my childhood I spent every summer with them, between the 10 days I spent with dad in Las Vegas, and the 7 to 8 days I spent here with mom, the rest of the summer I spent with them, and also Many Christmases and Thanksgiving. But shortly before entering university my uncle moved to Boston to take over my grandfather's company, so I continued going there some summers, but not as regularly."

"Yes," said Ross, "I remember you telling me about them, that they were all good people."

"Yes, the best of my blood family"

"Are you a godfather?" Rachel asked.

"No, the godparents are two of Albert's friends," he answer.

"And do you have clothes appropriate for the event?" Rachel asked again.

"Yes, on Monday I bought a tuxedo, they just had to make some adjustments, but on Wednesday they delivered it to me"

"Man, you have a good opportunity to meet some pretty woman, at weddings generally the bride's friends are attractive" said Joey with a mischievous smile.

"That would be good, I'm looking forward to meeting someone," Chandler replied.

"But anyone you know is going to live in Boston," Phoebe said.

"Not necessarily, I'm going to the married and I don't live in Boston, there may be a guest that I like and who likes me and just lives here in the City"

Monica remained quiet during this conversation. It bothered her that Chandler was thinking about meeting someone at the wedding, or having a simple fling. She knew he wasn't like Joey, he wasn't a one-night stand man, but back in Boston, after a few drinks... or maybe he would meet someone he really liked...

But she had to hide that discomfort, since she couldn't explain to anyone what was happening to her, not even to herself. Damn the night she thought about the size of Chandler's penis, from then on her life became a lot of uncontrollable feelings.