Some lives will change after Montauk
I hope you catches them, and that you tell me his opinions, through them I know if I'm on the right path.
Remember English is not my native language, I hope the translation is correct, check it, but sometimes I miss some incorrect personal pronouns for the phrase, sorry.
I reiterate, I do not own the characters of Friends I only rely on them for the pure pleasure of writing stories without any economic interest, and Monica and Chandler they inspire me
Chapter 4 - Confusions and confessions
For the rest of the week Chandler maintained his silence, his serious expression, few smiles, no jokes.
On Saturday he gave Monica a work excuse not to accompany her shopping.
Everyone was surprised because time was passing and Chandler showed no signs of improvement, but Monica was the one who was most worried.
On Sunday, Chandler did not want to accompany them to the movies, which plunged Monica into enormous worry and a terrible thought.
On Monday he didn't come to breakfast, he told Joey that he had to get to his work early, but Joey commented that it seemed like an excuse to avoid them.
After Phoebe and Joey left Monica panicked.
"Monica you know that he is stubborn and has a hard time communicating his thoughts or feelings" Rachel told her.
"No, Rachel, something is very wrong with him. He has never been so far away from me. He refuses to look me in the eyes..." Monica said uneasily.
"Mon, he's going to tell you, don't worry," Ross told her, trying to calm her down.
"It's something bad, it's not a family issue, since everything went well with them in Boston, or women, I think he has a serious, very bad illness that he doesn't want to tell us... God, I'm not going to survive if something happens to him, I want him, I need him in my life!" Monica said crying.
Rachel and Ross looked at each other in surprise.
"Mon, it can't be that bad." Rachel hugged her trying to comfort her.
"Listen, I'm talking to him this afternoon, he can't keep us in this uncertainty, at least he has to talk to you" Ross explained.
"Tell him I need to know, and whatever it is I will be by his side" Monica said crying.
Ross looked at Rachel, something was happening with his friend, but something unexpected was also happening with his sister, her concern was not just that of a friend.
Ross called Chandler at noon to ask him to meet that afternoon in the cafeteria in front of Chandler's office, Chandler accepted.
After greeting each other and each ordering a soft drink, Ross began to speak.
"Friend, we all know that something is wrong with you, do not deny it because it is obvious, I am not here for you to tell me if you don't want to. But it is necessary, essential, that you tell Monica"
Chandler was going to speak, but Ross told him "let me continue. Monica is devastated, she is sure you have a serious illness..."
Chandler opened his eyes in surprise.
"If so, tell her, you know that she will give you all her support, her love, and if it's something else, tell her, at least so she stops crying."
"Ross, I'm not sick, I have something very important coming up that I have to decide, my head is in a mess, excuse me, but I'm afraid that if I tell you, everyone will start to give their opinion and it will complicate my head even more, tell to Monica that I'm not sick"
"I understand that you don't want many opinions, but you know that Monica always supported you and understood you. She needs you, and she will surely help you think, you are very close, talk to her, tell her. Chandler I have never seen her so worried and sad like these last few days. Even if you don't believe me, it's worse than when she broke up with Richard" Ross explained.
"Dude, don't exaggerate, he is the love of her life, I was there" Chandler responded
"No friend, Richard was, yes, an important love in which she placed too many expectations, I am sure that her pain was not only about losing the man but also the dream. Look if for any of us someone is "the love of their life" does whatever it takes to preserve it. Look, I think that, for Richard, Monica was the love of his life and he was willing to pay the price, to have children, to keep her. However, Monica was privileged to have a man who sincerely wanted her the same way she did, if he had been the love of her life she would have accepted the offer." Ross continued.
"Chandler, I know that you love and care about Monica, don't let her continue to suffer, talk to her, tell her what's wrong" Ross concluded.
Chandler lowered his head and thought for a moment "Okay, I'll talk to Monica, someone who only knows about her from what I told, advised me to ask her for help. I promise I'll talk to you tomorrow; I need to take courage" Chandler said smiling.
The next morning Chandler went to breakfast and noticed that Monica was pale and had sad eyes, she seemed to have cried, Ross was right, she didn't look good, he was angry with himself for making her suffer, he shouldn't have pushed her away.
When everyone was leaving for work, Chandler approached Monica and asked her, "Do you have a night shift today?"
"No, I go out at 5 pm"
"Do you think it's time to look up and let's go to the park, it's quiet and there's air" Chandler offered.
"Yes, of course, I'll wait for you," Monica answered with a smile.
Chandler arrived punctually and waited for her at the door, Monica came out a few minutes later, she was beautiful despite her sad look.
They walked, he asked her about the day at work, they continued talking about the day's things and in the park Chandler looked for a quiet place, they sat down, Chandler remained for a moment looking at his hands, and then raised his head and look Monica in the eyes.
She saw concern and confusion in them.
"Mon, first of all, I assure you that I am not sick, nothing is wrong with my health."
"Ross told me about your concern, and I'm sorry that my silence these days has led you to think about that, I apologize, I had no right to worry you."
"You have no idea how happy it makes me that it's not a health issue, but then what is it that has you like this?"
"I told you that Steffi is a lesbian, already in college she and Sandra fell in love and were together until a few months ago. They did not stop loving each other, but over time each one began to want different things in life, Sandra wanted to continue as until now, the two of them were alone without ties, but Steffi wanted to start a family, to have a child, that was the reason why they separated" and Chandler continued speaking calmly.
"On Thursday when I arrived we went to lunch with Uncle Tom, and then at night she told me this and that she had found out everything about having in vitro fertilization, she didn't want to do it in Boston, she didn't want to do it in the future to find a man on the street who was the image of her son or her daughter" Chandler, shaking his head, smiled at this last bit.
"Steffi told me that she had everything arranged, she asked the university to advance her sabbatical and she would come to NY to do the whole process, she already rented a studio" Chandler paused for a moment, the hardest part was approaching.
"That night I also told her about all of you. And I told her that she could count on us for whatever she needed."
"Of course we're going to help her," Monica said with a relieved smile.
"The next day, Friday was the rehearsal dinner which was fun, but when we returned home she told me that she had thought that the sperm donor could be me"
Monica opened her eyes, but she didn't say anything, letting him continue.
"She told me that she knew me well, that her father would be happy if her baby had my blood, and that I was the best father she could give to her child."
"That's the honest truth," said Monica.
Chandler smiled at her and continued "she told me to do whatever I wanted, donate and ignore the issue, or just see the baby sometime in the future, or interact with him."
"And having a child is what scares you?" Monica asked.
"No! On the contrary, I thought I would never have a child, because I was sure that no one would want to have my child!
"Chandler, who wouldn't want to have your child! You are the best person, the most handsome, the most intelligent, the most loving, the most protective in the entire city" Monica said with a smile and squeezing her hand. "So, if the idea of having a child doesn't scare you, what worries you?"
"Obviously between Steffi and I there would be no romantic relationship, as is happening now with Ross and Carol, it is neither she nor I who worry me, it is the baby, I don't want him or her to suffer like I do because of an absent father. I want to be in life of my son or daughter. Steffi says that she is not like my mother nor am I like dad, that the baby would know that we both love him and care about him even if we don't live in the same city, that I could go all the time we're not that far away and she would bring it."
Monica remained silent, she is starting to worry about Chandler's ideas.
"Ross has Ben close. But I would be far away, I wouldn't be with him if the baby gets sick, or when learns to say dad... or to walk"…
"And although there is a reason that ties me here deeply, that is preventing me from decide what to do, if I could somehow overcome that reason, I am thinking of moving to Boston"
"No!, not that!" Monica screamed, her eyes filled with tears that immediately began to run down her cheeks. "You can't leave us, you can't leave me, I need you"
"Mon," Chandler said, holding her face and drying her tears, "we will never get lost, but surely soon you will find someone, get married, have a family and won't need me."
"No, no!" Monica shouted again, "You're not understanding me, of course I need you, I can't live without you, I love you, I can't lose you, not now... I'll do whatever you want, if you move I'll go with you wherever."
Chandler froze, he looked at her in surprise, he couldn't believe what he just heard.
Suddenly Monica fell silent, that was not the way she would have wanted to tell him about her love.
"I'm sorry," Monica said while tears continued to run down her cheeks, "I shouldn't have said all that, I was a mistake. You have more important problems to solve than to worry about a friend's feelings."
"Mon, did I hear correctly? You love me, not as a friend? not as the Chandler who pissed on you? but the one who asked you to be his girlfriend," he asked her.
"Yes, I love with all my heart the man that I let pass by like a fool on the beach and now I don't know if he wants to be my boyfriend."
Chandler's face lit up with a huge smile, "Of course I want to be your boyfriend, your husband, start a family with you, I've wanted it all for long, long time."
Chandler took Monica's face in his hands, wiped away her tears and kissed her tenderly. Then they got up Chandler hugged her tightly and this time they kissed passionately.
"Chandler I love you so much! and I will do whatever you need to make you happy and that baby happy."
"You know what had me crazy these days, that on the one hand I wanted to be a present father for the baby, and on the other hand you were the reason why I couldn't, I didn't want to leave, I also need you in my life 24 hours of the day" Chandler told her with moist eyes.
"When Steffi comes, we'll talk to her and see what the best path is. In any case, in Boston there are very good restaurants to work in." Monica smiled at him.
"Do you know what Ross told me yesterday? That when you are with the love of your life you do everything necessary to be together. There is still a lot of time to say what we will do, maybe the system that Steffi proposes will work, just here or in Boston We'll be together.
They sat down again, this time Chandler holding Monica close to her body and her resting his head on his shoulder.
"How long have you loved me?" Monica asked.
"A long time ago"
"And why didn't you ever tell me?" she asked again.
"I was sure your answer would be no and I didn't want to make our friendship uncomfortable" he replied.
"But in the cafeteria before we went to the beach you meant it, right?
"Yes, at that moment I was encouraged, but faced with your reaction I decided, just in case you realized I was serious, to continue, but as a joke"... "I tried again the day we played cards, remember?, and your response confirmed to me that it was something impossible, I tried to walk away, but it was useless, I wanted you in my life, even if you were just my friend."
"And since when do you know that you love me?" Chandler asked this time.
"I'm sure that I loved you for a long time, I just thought it was a love born only of friendship, but the day of the card game, as soon as you left, I realized that my response had been terrible, I had seen a shadow in your eyes when I said it, and I remembered that it was the same shadow that I had seen when you proposed to be my boyfriend and it made me think that maybe you were serious." Monica was silent for a few moments and continued.
"From that moment on you never left my mind, I realized how close we are, how good it feels to be together, to have you hug me and when you walked away a little after that day I felt like I couldn't think about lost you, I no longer saw you as just my friend, you were so much more. Then when you went to Boston I missed you so much, I was afraid that you would meet someone and when you came back you were so different, you avoided my gaze" she continued.
"I thought a thousand things, I felt jealous of Steffi, then I thought you were sick, they were horrible days"
"But it's over, now we're together!" Monica concluded and after a moment in silence she asked
"When we return home, what do we tell the others?
"The truth, we are together, we love each other, I don't want to hide my feelings for you anymore, I want to kiss you, hug you all the time, I would just prefer that we keep the subject of Steffi between us until we talk to her," Chandler replied.
"Mon, I want to love you, I want to have you in my arms, kiss you, make love to you, but at least the first few days I want privacy, that neither Joey nor Rachel is in the other room, you could say at work that you are sick for a few days and early tomorrow we will go wherever you want, far from the city, it would be for five days until Sunday."
"Like a honeymoon?" Monica exclaimed with a huge smile.
"Yes, a preview of the real thing..." Chandler replied with a smile and a wink of his eye.
"I'll call work early tomorrow. What do you think about Vermont?"
"Perfect, when we get home I'll make the reservations" Chandler stated, and after a long moment hugging he said
"It's getting cooler, let's go home, I think the atmosphere will warm up there"