Chapter 10

When Vincent discovered that Elizabeth was going to take tea at Darcy House, he got a calculating look on his face. Elizabeth knew he was wondering whether it was a good connection to make or not. "They are related to the peerage, although Darcy is not a peer himself. And he is wealthier than I. What do you think of them, Elizabeth?" He looked at her shrewdly.

Elizabeth knew she had to be careful in how she answered. If Vincent thought she desired the friendship, he would forbid it out of spite. So she shrugged as if she did not care one way or another. "I find them both very proud," she lied. "Mr. Darcy in particular is disagreeable."

"True," he nodded. "Did you get to know him at all at the house party?"

Elizabeth felt nervous at the question, but managed to answer nonchalantly. "Not very well. Sometimes he wanted to escape the marriage-minded ladies and used me as an excuse. It was not very kind of him, I think."

Vincent nodded, as if he had come to a decision. "It would be good to have a connection with the Darcys. Make sure you are polite when you go to visit them, Elizabeth," he warned.

"I will be. You need not worry," she said.

In truth, she was greatly looking forward to the visit, and hoped that she might have some private conversation with Mr. Darcy. She did not know what caused this longing to be near him, other than that she was in love. Did he love her? She was dying to know, although she realized that it made no difference to their situation. She had thought there was a particular tenderness when he looked at her, but it could be her imagination.

Georgiana greeted her at the door with a happy smile. "It is lovely to see you, Lady Carlisle," she said. "I am glad you could come."

"As am I. Thank you for inviting me."

"My brother is attending to some business in his study, but I am sure he will come out to say hello sooner or later."

Elizabeth was excited for that moment, but she also enjoyed the young woman's company as they sat down to tea and discussed their favourite composers.

"I have to admit, Lady Carlisle," said Georgiana after a quarter of an hour, "I was very curious about you. My brother spoke so highly of you, I was hoping we might become friends."

Elizabeth tried to stop herself from blushing. "I think highly of your brother, also, Miss Darcy. I would dearly love to be your friend," she said.

Georgiana gave a shy smile. "Then you must call me Georgiana, or Georgie, as my brother does."

"I would be delighted! Then you must call me Elizabeth, or Lizzy, as my sisters do." She felt a pang as she thought of her sisters, whom she had not seen for almost eight months. But Georgiana was speaking again.

"I would be glad to – Elizabeth," she said. "Perhaps you might join my brother and me on an outing to Vauxhall Gardens? I have never been before, and Fitzwilliam says he will take me."

"I have never been there either," said Elizabeth. "That sounds like a charming outing. I will have to see if my husband can accompany us."

She truly did not want Vincent to come, but she knew that if she went without asking him, he would become angry. She had no doubt that he would turn down her invitation, however. If he wanted to go to Vauxhall Gardens, he would most likely take his mistress or one of his lovers.

"I have not met your husband," said Georgiana innocently. "Tell me how you met him. Was it love at first sight? Or did you marry to unite your two families?"

Elizabeth felt uncomfortable with Georgiana's questions. "I am not from any sort of distinguished family, Georgiana. Before I married, I was a mere country miss from Hertfordshire, the daughter of a gentleman, but with almost no dowry."

"Your husband must have married you for love, then. How romantic!" Georgiana clasped her hands together.

Elizabeth did not know how to respond to this without lying, and she did not want to lie to this sweet girl.

Fortunately, at that moment, Darcy appeared in the doorway. "Lady Carlisle! How pleasant to see you. I am glad you could come to visit us."

Both ladies stood. "Elizabeth was just telling me that she would love going to Vauxhall Gardens with us. Perhaps her husband may come too!" Georgiana said.

A frown briefly crossed Darcy's lips. "Indeed?" was all he said.

"I will ask Lord Carlisle. It is likely he will be busy that night, but I am sure he will not restrict my going," Elizabeth explained.

Darcy turned to his sister. "Georgiana, Mrs. Annesley needs some assistance and asked me to send you up to her."

"Very well. I will be back soon, Elizabeth. I hope I do not miss you." With that she left the room.

Elizabeth was too pleased to be left alone with Darcy to complain, although she did raise an eyebrow at him archly.

Darcy flushed. "I wanted an excuse to speak to you alone. I hope you do not mind?"

"Not at all. I have missed you," she said softly.

The words felt like a risk. What if he did not feel the same way she did? But she could not recall the words now.

Darcy's face softened. "I missed you as well, Eli – Lady Carlisle."

"Please, won't you call me Elizabeth? At least when we are in private."

"Very well. As long as you call me Fitzwilliam."

"I will."

He stepped forward and reached out as if to take her hands, then hesitated. She lifted her own and grasped his. He smiled.

"Are you well?" he asked.

"Very well, now that I have seen you again."

"Your – ribs healed? You are no longer in pain?" he asked hesitantly.

Her face softened. "I healed very well. You need not worry about that."

"I cannot help but worry about it, Elizabeth. I prayed for you every day while we were apart, but still my heart yearns for you."

Elizabeth's breath caught. "It does?"

"Of course it does. I am desperately in love with you. I thought you knew that."

"I suppose I did. I just could not believe it." She reached up and cupped his cheek with her hand. "I love you too."

He turned his head and pressed a kiss to her palm. "I do not know exactly what this means for us, but I do know that I will do my best to protect you from – from him, to the best of my ability. I will always be here for you."

"We cannot both stay in London forever," she said softly, with a wistful note in her voice.

"True, but let us not think too far ahead in the future. Let us enjoy the time we have together now."

She smiled a bit sadly. "I will. But if we go to Vauxhall Gardens, it cannot simply be the three of us, as much as I would wish it."

"I will invite my aunt and uncle, the Matlocks. Surely Lord Carlisle will not object to your attending with an earl and countess? And I will see if my cousins can come."

"He surely will not object, and I would like to meet your cousins. Are they as charming as you?"

He laughed at her tease. "My cousin, Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam, is very much like you in temper. His older brother, Viscount Sterling, is not so amiable. He is a bit of a snob, to be honest."

She smiled. "I hope you have been well the past month. You have been at Pemberley?"

"Yes, I was there for the harvest. Usually Georgiana and I spend most of the year there. But I could not stop thinking of you, missing you. I had to come to London."

Elizabeth could see in his eyes that he wanted to kiss her. She desperately wanted it too, but she knew Georgiana could enter the room at any moment. She smiled. "I wish we could have written. Receiving letters from you would have made the time pass more quickly."

She could tell Darcy was about to say something when the door suddenly opened and they broke apart instantly.

"It turned out Mrs. Annesley did not need me. It is strange that she should have asked for me," said Georgiana, seeming to notice nothing amiss as she approached them. "I am glad you are still here, Elizabeth. I wanted to ask you –"

But just then the butler announced, "Mrs. Hurst and Miss Bingley," and those two ladies entered the room. Elizabeth saw a spasm of annoyance cross Georgiana's face, but then she pasted on a smile.

"My dear Miss Darcy, how delightful it is to see you! And Mr. Darcy! We had no idea you were even in town until Charles informed us this morning," Miss Bingley cried.

"Hello, Miss Bingley, Mrs. Hurst," said Georgiana. Darcy bowed but said nothing.

Miss Bingley's eyes fell on Elizabeth and she looked as if she had tasted something sour. "Hello, Lady Carlisle. I did not know you knew our Miss Darcy."

"Georgiana and I have just become friends," said Elizabeth, not bothering to hide her smile. "But I am afraid it is time for me to depart. Enjoy your visit, ladies."

"And I must return to my study. There is much correspondence I must catch up on," said Darcy hastily, turning away to leave the room.

Elizabeth felt a little guilty for abandoning Georgiana, but at the same time she could not help laughing once she was out of doors.

As soon as Vincent heard that Darcy was going to introduce her to his uncle the earl, he gave his permission for Elizabeth to go to Vauxhall. Elizabeth was greatly anticipating the outing, both because of the beauty the gardens provided, but more because she would get to see Mr. Darcy again. After he had admitted he loved her, she had spent the next several days walking on air. She knew she should not be glad of it, but she was. She should instead be encouraging to find an unmarried woman he could fall in love with and eventually wed. She and he had no future together. And yet she could not help remembering the tenderness and passion in his voice as he said, "I am desperately in love with you."

She had never felt romantic love before, and she found that it was a wonderful, along with a painful feeling. Wonderful because it was a new and unexpected gift in her dark world; but painful because she knew they could never be together. Still, she had wanted his kiss as they stood alone in the morning room. Was she a wanton? How could she even think of breaking her marriage vows?

Vincent certainly had no trouble doing so. She did not think he had been faithful to her since the second month of their marriage. And she felt no loyalty whatsoever to Vincent. One too many beatings had beaten it out of her. What was she planning, then? Could she really be unfaithful to her husband?

She supposed only time would tell.