The Cuphead and Lucky Star Show

Season 1: Episode 1: Kitchen Full of Chaos.

On the magical Inkwell Isles, there lived two brothers named Cuphead and Mugman. They were both known for having teacups for heads and wearing red and blue shorts. Cuphead, the older brother, who wore red shorts, was the more mischievous and impulsive of the two, although he also lacked brains. Despite these though, he had a kind side deep down. Mugman, the younger brother, who wore blue shorts, was also mischievous like his brother, but he was more cautious, and smart and calculated. It was said that Cuphead and Mugman were practically inseparable, and they were icons all throughout the Inkwell Isles for defeating the Devil, although that is a story for another time.

One day, it was considerably breezy near the cup-shaped cottage where the brothers lived, along with their caretaker, the Elder Kettle. They were eating their breakfast, the usual flapjacks, when suddenly, there was a knock on the door.

"Oh boy! MAIL!" yelled Cuphead with excitement, before rushing to the front door. Normally, Cuphead hated the mail. It was always full of boring stuff, such as bills, letters, newspapers, (though he liked the cartoons.) and angry letters from an old man who lived next door, even though the cottage was in the forest. But this wasn't any old mail, oh no, this was SPECIAL mail. This was the instructions, blueprints, and parts to build a working plane entirely out of cardboard boxes and wooden crates, that Cuphead had been waiting forever for ever since he ordered them out of last week's edition of The Inkwell Times.

Apparently, Cuphead was going to fly to Australia to break the record for the longest distance ever flown, out of envy for a guy named Charles. "Cuphead, are you sure you know what you're doing?" questioned Mugman. "DOUBLE DOWN!" Cuphead shouted. Elder Kettle (an old anthropomorphic teapot who was Cuphead and Mugman's caretaker) put a ceramic finger to his lips. "Double down," Cuphead said in a more normal speaking tone. "Ya never know if today's gonna be your last, so I just GIVE IT MY ALL!" But Mugman was still unsure if Cuphead would make it over to Australia. After all, how can a bunch of cardboard boxes and wooden crates possibly make it to the other side of the world? But that was what Cuphead was going to find out.

So off he set with his new parts in a toolkit, to the front yard's newly installed garage, and got to work. He stuck the wheels on with glue, he blowtorched some steel plates to make wings, he duct-taped some cardboard boxes together, and he eventually connected the wooden crates and cardboard boxes with plastic wrapper. Now what? There was something missing. Aha! A propeller! Cuphead found two crowbars used to access Elder Kettle's two sheds, one for gardening, and the other for potions. He attached them onto the nose of the so-called "plane" because he had seen them in old photographs.

Now, to get it started! At first, Cuphead tried pressing his foot on his breakfast plate, still with leftover flapjack on it, to try and accelerate, since it was the pedal. But no movement. He tried again, and again, and again. But it just wouldn't budge. Maybe Mugman was right. This endeavour required a real plane. However, Cuphead found himself stuck! The space was too tight to climb out! Then, a light bulb flashed above his head! He stamped both of his feet into one of the wooden crates, creating a space where his feet could roam free. Then he ran. He ran like he had never ran before. He ran so fast that his shoes had formed brown rotating circles. To his amazement, the collection of boxes had lifted themselves ever so slightly from the ground! Cuphead ascended higher and higher, while still rapidly picking up speed, and breaking through the fence. "WOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOO!" he screamed in delight. "YEAH BABY! WE'RE OFF!"

Sooner or later, he was right above the clouds. How heavenly it felt to be looking down below a white load of nothing. He could see people wearing top hats drinking tea, people eating baguettes, people fighting bulls, and dark clouds.

He had heard on the weather forecast on the radio that it was going to be a cloudy day though, so all was fine. He had travelled approximately 6,303 miles at this point when the clouds got darker. If that couldn't get any worse, thunder struck! At first, Cuphead's plane merely burst into flames, but it continued to fly as Cuphead ran. He'd have kept going if he didn't make the utterly STUPID mistake of looking down! Like all other cartoon characters, Cuphead began to plummet, with the flaming remains of his plane trailing at the sides of him. Was this the end? Was he ever going to see Mugman and Elder Kettle ever again? He was praying for his life in midair. PHEEEEEEEE! A sharp whistling sound echoed in his ears.

Suddenly, a gold ring with a blue vortex inside opened. What was this mysterious hole in the sky? It didn't matter now, because Cuphead had entered right through it! The sky was no longer black now, but it was still grey. Cuphead continued to fall, until PLOP! He had landed in something. Soft and grainy, it was sand.

Lifting his face out of the sand, Cuphead looked around at his new surroundings. It was nothing like in the brochure. Futuristic skyscrapers impaled the sky, roads and pavements seemed to wind endlessly ahead of the beach, with little cars racing on them. And signs had this weird text that Cuphead couldn't decipher to save his life. There were no kangaroos or jungles as he was promised. What was this new place?

Asides all the signs in the weird language, Cuphead easily found an English sign, meant for those who were new to the place and didn't understand the language. It read, "Welcome to Japan. Where people have abnormally large, sparkly eyes for some reason."

"Japan?!" Cuphead exclaimed in shock. He looked at his map. "Hmm… I KNEW I should've taken that left turn at Albuquerque!"

He was tired and hungry right now. He was dying for food. He hadn't eaten since he left the Inkwell Isles. All of the restaurants had "Sorry, we're closed" signs on them. That is, until he spotted a sign which read, "Free hot dogs." Cuphead LOVED hot dogs more than any food in the world. He had been known for having them for lunch and dinner, often in large quantities. The smallest quantity of hot dogs he had ever eaten was 300. So, it was only natural that he'd go rushing in the direction of the sign, only to find out that he had arrived at a totally different building than he'd expected. It didn't look like a restaurant, but it did have a smell of hot dogs, and it didn't have a "closed" sign. It was a large, white, round building, with windows dotting every wall. Who cared what it looked like though? Free food!

But as Cuphead walked in, he was met with disappointment. There were no tables or counters, just long, winding, empty corridors. It turned out though, there was hubbub in the centre. Cuphead took a closer look. A billion people were lined up at a counter. They all seemed to be receiving hot dogs. None of them were eating them though. And they all seemed to be wearing the same clothes. There appeared to be an emblem with text on the clothes reading "Ryouou High." These were students. Boys wore what was basically a polo shirt with trousers, that were dark green in colour. Girls wore what was basically a sailor suit combined with a short skirt. This uniformity was definitely an indication that something was off. The only exception was Cuphead. The students all seemed to be depressed, they weren't eating the hot dogs, and they even seemed to be returning to classes early, which gave them extra time with nothing to do. Cuphead followed one class back, he needed to know more, and why people were not eating hot dogs.

Once Cuphead got to the classroom, unnoticed of course, he noticed that the teacher wasn't back yet. None of the teachers were. They were still eating lunch. But why? Cuphead took the opportunity to get out a megaphone, climb to the top of the teacher's desk, and address the sea of bug-eyed students.

"PEOPLE OF RYOUOU HIGH!" Cuphead yelled. "I COME IN PEACE! DO NOT WORRY, THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I REPEAT! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! NOR IS IT A TELLING-OFF! NOR IS IT AN ASSEMBLY! OR AN ANTI-DRUG PROGRAM! OR WHATEVER YOU FIND BORING! Now, I wanna know. I know people have different opinions and all, but I wanna know, why people are not eating the hot dogs. Y'all are starving yourselves! And according to every radio show I've ever listened to, hot dogs are the most delicious food in the entire world, even if they go with ice cream and fries. And so I can't help but notice that something is off. I am not a student at this school unlike you guys, but I still wanna investigate as to what is so repulsive about these hot dogs that you can't bring yourselvesto eat them! So, WHO'S WITH ME?!"

At first, nobody responded. They all thought that Cuphead was speaking some nonsense babble that you'd expect to come from a very fat orange man. Suddenly, four hands shot up.

"You four." Cuphead said. "Would you like to come up?"

At that, four girls came up to the front where Cuphead was. One of them had pink hair and glasses, another had long, light purple twintails that were tied up by brown ribbons, another had a bob cut, which was also light purple, that was also tied up by a yellow ribbon, and finally, the last one had long, messy, flowing blue hair with an ahoge on top of it, with green eyes. These girls looked very different compared to what Cuphead was accustomed to. They all had huge eyes that took up large portions of their faces. The eyes appeared to have a sparkling effect, much unlike other people that Cuphead had ever seen. It was almost alien-like. Their noses and mouths were significantly tiny, you could almost wonder how they smelled and chewed. Their bodies also moved in a much more restricted fashion, compared to the exaggerated, rubber-hose like movement that Cuphead and Mugman displayed. The bodies also looked much more realistic, if not thinner than Cuphead's pot-bellied, thick, noodle-armed body. They carried what appeared to be some kind of evidence. This had better be good, Cuphead thought.

The girls silently handed Cuphead a strange metal object. It was black and silver, slightly resembling some kind of a key. The silver end was rectangular-shaped, and for some odd reason, it looked like it could fit in the teacher's laptop.

"ある

USB スティック" the twintailed one said. "ラップトップに挿入し、ビデオ ファイルにアクセスします."

"Sorry?" Cuphead questioned.

"A USB stick. Insert it into the laptop, then access the video file."

So Cuphead went and inserted the silver end into the rectangular-shaped hole in the teacher's laptop. At first, he and the girls huddled over the footage, then eventually turned the laptop around to show the whole class. The footage took place in a room that looked a bit like the back of a butcher's shop, complete with dirty hooks and meat skins hanging off them. Something was off about the meat though, it didn't look like any meat that Cuphead had ever seen, and Cuphead could name his meat quite well. Around the 3-minute mark, things gradually got weirder. Five massive figures with glowing eyes wandered into the room, all holding axes and knives. Trailing behind them, was a smaller figure, this one without glowing eyes. It seemed to be unwilling, entering a praying stance before the larger figures picked it up. But alas, it was no use. Just then, the room got lighter, revealing the identities of the figures. Oh, horror, they were the school dinner ladies! And a fellow student too! As the video was getting to the good part, the audio began to crackle, and static covered the screen.

Everyone was agape. These were people that they had trusted. Why and how could they have possibly been driven to supposed evil was anyone's guess, up to the point where the class decided that if you worked out accurately why the dinner ladies were getting up to acts of "mischief", you could get a free bucket of fried chicken. This, of course, perked up Cuphead.

"So, any ideas?" asked Cuphead.

No-one spoke again. They were traumatized by the events that had just unfolded on screen.

But four hands did rise again. It was the four girls who had helped him before.

"Yes?" Cuphead asked.

"Believe us, you said you wanted to investigate the reason why we are starving so that you could help out the school, right?" said one of them.

"Well, yeah, and I'm hungry as well." said Cuphead, as his stomach was growling.

"Can we come along too?" asked another one of them.

"Yeah, sure, why not?" said Cuphead. "I ain't too worried about it."

On they went, traversing the various hallways which made the inside of the school almost seem like a tunnel system. "So, tell me," inquired Cuphead. "What are your names?"

The pink-haired bespectacled one addressed herself as Miyuki Takara, the twintailed one was Kagami Hiiragi, the short-haired one with the yellow bow went by Tsukasa Hiiragi, (Kagami and Tsukasa were twin sisters.) and the blue-haired green-eyed one with an ahoge was Konata Izumi. "And why do y'all wanna tag along on this… adventure?" asked Cuphead.

"Let me explain… the LORE." Konata drawled in a spooky voice, waggling her fingers at Cuphead.

"Lore?" Cuphead was puzzled.

"Well, everything has lore, doesn't it?" insisted Konata.

"Yeah, but what is lore?" asked Cuphead.

"The history of events in a fictional work, passed down amongst vast fandom circles that stretch on for generations." Konata explained. "My family is one of these fandom circles that I speak of. They are interested in a great many things."

"Do I have lore?" Cuphead requested.

"You are Cuphead, is that true?"

Cuphead was startled. He spat out the milk that he was drinking from his straw. "How did you KNOW that?!"

Almost as if on cue, Konata pulled out a small, rectangular, metallic device out of her pocket. It appeared to have a metal sheet covering the front of it. The device was playing what appeared to be audio, that sounded very familiar to Cuphead. PEW! PEW! PEW! Cuphead glanced over at the strange device. It showed him and Mugman, shooting blue pellets out of their fingers at a living potato, which spat dirt balls back at them. The brothers jumped over the dirt balls. Cuphead remembered this! He and Mugman had to fight this potato to collect a soul contract for The Devil. But there were some things he didn't quite remember.

"Konata, is it? I have a question."

"What is it, my young pupil?"

"What are those bars saying HP. 3? And why are me and Mugman so stiff when we move?"

"Those bars indicate your hit points." answered Konata. "And you are being controlled by the player in this video. Your whole life has been turned into a video game."

Cuphead was stunned! "Hang on just a dirty little minute! What is this new-fangled thing you call a video game?!"

"You will learn more later." said Konata.

"Yeah, we need to kinda focus on the task at hand right now." added Kagami sternly. "Whatever that is."

"Nah, I just kinda come up with stuff on the fly." Cuphead revealed. "If it's funny, it gets put into action. Anyways, what happened here?"

"You really wanna know?" Kagami sighed, an air of dread in her voice.

"Yeah, I mean, y'all are obviously miserable, we've just seen the video footage, these dinner ladies are supposedly evil. We need to concoct a plan here!" Cuphead was getting impatient. He wanted to do something fast, not stand around talking all day. But he couldn't do it without a bit of information, so that he could plan.

"Life at school used to be actually normal." Kagami began.

"We were happy." Tsukasa attempted to utter the words without choking on tears. "We would often happily talk about random stuff, like which side of a chocolate cornet is the head, or balsamic vinegar."

"Until THEY came along!" growled Konata, with a vengeful tone. "We accessed the security footage, after ages of living in fear, because anime characters aren't cowards! We wanted to talk about anime and games again!"

"You wanted to talk about anime and games again." corrected Kagami.

"Eh, I ain't too worried about it." Konata replied.

"Hey! That's MY catchphrase!" Cuphead complained.

And sooner or later, the two of them were bickering, shouting at each other over who ripped off whose catchphrase. It wasn't long before they were coated in a huge cloud of smoke, with only their flailing limbs being visible, with Kagami, Tsukasa and Miyuki using the absolute last of their physical strength and sanity to hold them back and calm them down. Even though they didn't know who Elder Kettle was, nor did they ever meet him, they sure knew how he felt.

But in the scuffle, something shined on the floor. It was small, gold, and round. A key! And it was close to a highly suspicious door as well. It read, "EXPERIMENTS ROOM". And a window right across from it was the cafeteria. Just suddenly, a boom of evil cackling echoed from the room, followed by a voice congratulating several large figures. "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OH, THIS IS GREAT! OH, THIS IS GREAT! Just several more students to eradicate, and soon, we will have enough hot dogs! No-one could practically resist that offer! But it would be too fattening! And then, muhahahahaha! AND THEN! MUHAHAHAHAHA! THE CUP'S SOUL WILL BE MINE! ALL MINE! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Cuphead and the girls quickly hid behind the window. Cuphead had the key, he just needed a battle plan. "That voice," he whispered. "It's awfully familiar."

"W-Who c-could you possibly have known?" stammered Tsukasa. "A-and w-what's all this about having your soul taken?"

"Soul taken?" NOW Cuphead knew who this was. He immediately inserted the key into the door, rotated it around a couple of times, and slowly opened the door. A shocking sight then greeted him. There was an axe, and it seemed to be lodged right inside a body! But this body seemed to be wearing clothes. It was human!

"LIIIIIIIIIKKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEEE WWWWWWHHHHHHAAAAAAAATTTTTT YYYYYOOOOOUUUUUU SSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?"

A hideous, screechy voice echoed across the corpse-filled room. The large, shadowy figures from before revealed themselves. They were none other, than the SCHOOL DINNERLADIES! But their eyes were yellow, and for some reason, they were covered in black fur. "So, we meet again, CUP!" they chanted all at once.

It was not long before Cuphead went around the room and ripped off all their dirty clothes. Now, they were tall, goat-like beings with black fur, yellow eyes, and long, sharp horns. "A-HA!" Cuphead exclaimed. "Oh, it's just the Devil." he nonchalantly said to the four terrified girls who were quaking in their boots behind him. "Th-Th-THE DEVIL?!" they screamed in fright.

Yes, the Devil was in the Land of the Rising Sun.

"Oh, relax." assured Cuphead. "He may LOOK scary, but he's actually harmless once you get to know him."

He then proceeded to hand The Devil a pair of shoes with untied shoelaces.

"Watch this. He can't even tie his own shoelaces!"

And thus, the Devil attempted to tie the shoelaces. But no matter how hard he tried; it was simply impossible for him. He tried many different knots, and even tried following a list of written instructions. (That he had obtained from the Internet.) The King of Inkwell Hell, the Prince of Darkness, the Ruler of All Evil, couldn't tie a pair of shoelaces.

That's not to say he wasn't fuming at them though. In no time flat did he whip out a golden trident and start shooting fire at Cuphead and the girls. Cuphead responded by shooting glowing blue pellets out of his finger. A brawl was surely brewing!

Not wanting anybody to get hurt, Cuphead grabbed all four of the girls and dragged them behind him while he continued to run and gun at the Devil. While the Devil shot a ray of fire out of his trident, Cuphead disappeared in a cloud of smoke for several seconds. He emerged back again a second later. He had somehow managed to run through the Devil's fire without getting burned! Furious at this deft dodging of an attack, the Devil managed to morph his body into the shape of a goat, extending his limbs as if they were made of rubber, in an attempt to crush the five friends that had wronged him in his almighty hooves. Just as they jumped over though…

DOINK!

What was that?

Suddenly, a gigantic steel pot was wobbling precariously on a shelf. It tipped over, spilling an extremely hot, green, bubbling liquid on the Devil, who let out an unholy, discordant, blood-curdling screech of pain, sounding like a cross between a roar, a hiss, and a wail.

A light bulb flashed over Cuphead's head. He immediately gave some directions to the girls while the Devil's back was turned. "I'll distract him, and you four will go up there and dump some pots on him. That sound like a good plan?"

Well, in this time of crisis, they'd trust anybody who'd even had the slightest idea of how to get out of this mess. So, they nodded, too petrified to even say or do anything else.

While they climbed up the steep ladders leading up to the shelves, the Devil creeped up towards Cuphead. "Well, well, well, looks like all your little girlfriends have abandoned you." he drawled.

"Hey! They are NOT my girlfriends!" Cuphead snapped. "And besides, girls really hate bad puns, and I told them one heck of a bad pun. But I sure know that demons love bad puns."

"Ooooh! Do tell!" the Devil whooped.

"Okay," Cuphead began. "One day, on the savannah, a lion, a cheetah, an elephant and a warthog were all sitting around after their respective meals and discussing which species has the biggest potential for success. The elephant suggested that they settle this, once and for all, and that they take a cue from humans and test this by starting their own businesses, and then checking in in a month to see who did best."

"The Warthog decided to hire other warthogs to occupy the shadiest groves, and then charged animals $5 to lay in the shade."

Suddenly, a pot fell. Its contents landed on the Devil.

"YEEEEEEOOWWWW!" the Devil yelled.

As the Devil was still covered by the pot, Cuphead put a thumbs-up to the girls and continued telling his joke to the Devil.

"The Elephant built an elaborate harness for his back and charged other animals $15 for elephant rides."

The second pot fell. the Devil yelped in pain again.

"The Lion started a personal protection racket, offering gazelles protection from the lions in exchange for a fee of $10."

The third pot fell. Cuphead then made a hand sign that asked the girls to hold the fourth pot until he had finished telling the joke to the Devil.

"But the Cheetah had the best idea of all, starting a courier service, using his incredible speed to bring messages from animal to animal, across the savannah, for $20. Within weeks, all the animals were using the Cheetah's service to communicate, while the lion, elephant, and warthog sat mostly idle."

"Finally, a month had passed, and the elephant, cheetah, warthog, and lion met up again with their bank statements to try and guess who might win. The Warthog had earned $150, the Elephant had earned $185, the Lion had earned $200. But Cheetah's bank statement showed only $2. The other animals were shocked, because "Fast Cat Courier" was the most successful business by far. The other animals asked Cheetah what went wrong."

""Business has been great," the spotted cat said, "but alas, Cheetahs never prosper.""

And finally, the fourth pot fell. CLANK! The Devil lay stiff on the floor, covered by multiple pots and bubbling liquid. Cuphead left a "CAUTION: WET FLOOR" sign, and then gestured for the girls to come down. The five cringed at the Devil's dead body, then left to claim some free fried chicken for themselves.

But as soon as they got back to the classroom…

"Sorry! We ain't got no fried chicken around this time!" said a farmer student.

"But… But… But…" squawked Cuphead.

"Yeah, sorry, we'd'a loved to feed yer hungry mouths. Yer defeated those gosh dang no-good dinner ladies, that's fer sure, or should I say, that Devil. But we couldn't purchase some fried chicken, what with the economy and all."

"So, all of our efforts… were for nothing?"

"No Cuphead." Kagami put her hand on Cuphead's shoulder. "We worked together, remember?"

"It was a tad bit scary, looking back at it." added Tsukasa.

"But it's not about the fried chicken, it's the teamwork that counts." explained Miyuki.

"Took you long enough to speak." Cuphead commented. "But yeah, we should probably do this more often." He turned to the farmer student. "And by the way, how do you know so much about the Devil?"

"Oooh, my daddy made a dirty deal with that Devil. Signed a contract to expand the land of our farm in exchange for his soul. Our farm was prosperin', birds, crops and stuff were invadin' our failed farm. Made it a success, they did. But sooner or later, my daddy was never seen again, gone to rot in the dirty corners of Inkwell Hell, soul tortured by that Devil fer ages before being stored in a huge vault. As soon as those dang dinner ladies were cookin' them poor souls and feedin' them to our Ryouou High, I knew somethin' was up. But I was too chicken to go in, fer I thought I would be next. Thanks for sortin' out that little rabble guys."

"Anytime, pal!" replied Cuphead. He then turned to Konata. "Konata, is it?"

"Yeah?" responded Konata.

"What's a brigade leader?"

"Oh, HERE we go!" groaned Kagami. She sighed. "I'm just warning you Cuphead, you've gone over the point of no return now."

TO BE CONTINUED.

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