Chapter 14

Darcy held Elizabeth while she slept. He had never felt the sort of peace that filled him now with her in his arms. The pleasure he had given her, and which he had received in turn, the sharing of their bodies, made him feel whole. He knew for certain that Elizabeth was his wife in his heart, even if all of the rest of the world disagreed. And he knew Elizabeth felt the same way.

Elizabeth only dozed for a half an hour, before her eyes blinked open and she gazed up at him. She smiled.

"Are you hungry?" he asked. "I had the maid of all work prepare some viands for us, in case we grew hungry. We only need boil the water for the tea."

Elizabeth yawned and stretched. "That sounds delightful. I am feeling a bit peckish."

Darcy kissed her nose before he got out of bed to put on a robe. Elizabeth donned her chemise before looking at him thoughtfully. "I should have thought to bring some other clothes that I can wear while I am here. I will do so next time."

Darcy smiled at the idea of next time.

They went down the hall to the kitchen. The maid had laid out a platter of meat pies, tarts, and fresh bread. Darcy went to the stove to heat some hot water, and then sat down next to Elizabeth at the small kitchen table to butter some bread and take a bite of one of the hand pies.

"These are delicious," Elizabeth said between bites. "You have quite stoked my appetite, my love."

Darcy gave her a smile. "Perhaps I can wear you out again before you leave," he said.

"I look forward to it," she said mischievously.

Soon the hot water was ready, and Darcy poured the boiling liquid into the tea pot. Elizabeth served them their tea, and they ate and drank for a moment in silence. "I wish you could meet Jane," she suddenly burst out. "She would like you so much."

"Your eldest sister?" Darcy asked.

"Yes. You would like the Gardiners too."

"I am sure I would," Darcy said, then added carefully, "You are not permitted to see them?"

Elizabeth shook her head. "It has been almost nine months."

"You must miss them very much," said Darcy sympathetically.

"I do miss them, but not my mother and father. I still have not forgiven them."

"Forgiven them for what?"

Elizabeth looked bewildered at his lack of understanding. "For forcing me into marriage."

Darcy was surprised. "You were forced into the marriage with Carlisle?"

"Of course I was. I had always determined to marry only for love. Why did you think I had married him?"

"I had supposed you married him to save your mother and sisters from poverty once your father died. Not that I thought less of you for that," he added when he saw Elizabeth's frown. "I simply could not fathom why else you would marry such a man."

Elizabeth let out a sigh. "No. I am not so selfless as that. I was only nineteen at the time, and had no recourse. My mother insisted on it, and my father agreed, if only to have peace in his home."

Darcy listened in growing horror as he heard of Mr. Bennet's lack of care for his family and his estate. He could not imagine himself, or any man, acting in such a way. It was abominable to him, that he had sacrificed his favourite daughter, simply to keep his wife from nagging at him, and to repair what he had been too neglectful to ensure himself.

"I suppose the good part is that Vincent insisted Kitty and Lydia go away to school. They would have been the ruin of our family name otherwise," Elizabeth continued.

"But Jane and Mary are different?"

"Oh, yes. Well, Mary is pedantic, but she has a good heart under all her sermonizing. Jane is my dearest friend, aside from you, of course," she said, smiling up at him and stroking his chest over his robe.

"Elizabeth," he said earnestly, holding her hand against him with his own, "I want you to know that this is not simply just some affair for me. You are the wife of my heart, and I shall never love again."

"But surely you must marry some day," she said sadly, her eyes dropping from his. "You will need an heir."

"Georgiana is my heir. Her oldest son can inherit Pemberley. I will marry none if it cannot be you."

Elizabeth knew that she should not be happy to hear such a thing, but she admitted to herself that she was selfish enough to revel in his words.

"I should not be so happy to hear such a thing, but I am," she said to him.

Darcy pulled her onto his lap and held her close. They had largely finished eating at this point, and had a couple more hours to themselves before they had to leave.

"I hope we can meet like this often," said Elizabeth at last.

"I do not see why we cannot. As long as we are careful, we should be able to meet two to three times a week. You have an excuse you can give Carlisle, do you not?"

"Yes," Elizabeth nodded. "He mostly ignores me now that we are in London, and is gone from home a lot."

Darcy admitted to himself that his heart lifted to hear that. In fact, when Elizabeth had told him earlier that Carlisle had not lain with her for months, he rejoiced inwardly. He did not want to think of that monster possessing Elizabeth as he had. Carlisle would never be worthy of Elizabeth. He was glad that both he and Elizabeth realized it.

He wished, too, that he could bring Elizabeth's relations to visit her. He wanted to make her happy. But part of her happiness hinged on not making her husband angry. Darcy would not wish Carlisle to inflict more harm upon her. Seeing the bruises on Elizabeth's arms earlier had driven him almost to a fury. It was only her soft words that had allayed his ire, although she had not completely erased it.

He resolved that he would make her as happy as he could, in whatever way he could. He was not in a position to do much, he admitted sadly. He wished he could do more. He could not even stop her husband from beating her, if he decided not to withhold his fists; but he could love her. He prayed his love would be enough.

He was distracted from his dark thoughts by Elizabeth's placing soft kisses up his neck to his jaw. He turned his head and captured her lips with his. Their kiss soon grew hot as their tongues slicked against each other, and Darcy stood up with Elizabeth in his arms, causing her to giggle. He carried her to the bedroom and laid her down on the bed, where she threw off her chemise. He took off his robe and soon was on top of her, making love to her again. This time he brought her to the edge of climax before he entered her, so that she found her release when he was inside of her. They both cried out when they reached their pleasure, Darcy spilling his seed on her stomach once more.

After they had recovered from their exertions, Darcy brought forth one of the books he had brought with him from Darcy House. "I thought we could have a small collection that we could read together while we are here."

Elizabeth was in enthusiastic agreement, and they read from Milton for the last hour before Elizabeth had to depart.

Darcy helped her dress again, but her hair was a hopeless case. She could not get it back into the elegant coiffure Sarah had arranged this morning. She twisted it into a simple chignon at the back of her head instead, hoping Vincent would not be too angry if he saw it thus.

Darcy gave her one final kiss as the handsome cab drove up to stop before the house. She put down her veil and got ready to step outside.

"I love you, my Elizabeth," he said, holding her closely to him one last time.

"I love you, Fitzwilliam," she replied. Then she was gone, and he watched the handsome cab drive away.

When Darcy arrived home, he found that Georgiana was eager to see him. "Did you have a nice time at your club, Fitzwilliam?" she asked.

"I did," he replied, feeling guilty for having lied to her about the reason for his absence; but telling the truth had been impossible.

"I was wondering if we might have Lord and Lady Carlisle over for a dinner party sometime soon. I so enjoyed going to the museum with her."

Darcy tried to stop the twisting of his lips at the mention of the man. "I do not think Lord Carlisle will be able to come, Georgie. He is very… busy," he said.

Georgiana looked at him seriously. "He does not love Elizabeth, does he?" she asked perceptively. "I have noticed she never speaks of him, and he has never come with her when she visits with us."

"I … cannot pretend to know everything about their marriage, but I think it is fair to say that they do not love each other, no," Darcy admitted.

Georgiana let out a sigh. "How sad. I had always wished to marry for love."

"Love is real, Georgiana," Darcy assured her. "You just must simply wait for the right person."

"As you are doing?" she asked, looking up at him with her clear blue eyes.

"As I am doing," he said, swallowing a lump in his throat. The fact that he had found his love too late he did not reveal to Georgiana. "Perhaps Lady Carlisle can come to dine with us if we invite Richard and the Matlocks," he said, to change the topic. "Should you like to act as hostess for the occasion?"

Georgiana blushed. "Oh, I do not know if I could ever be as good of a hostess as Elizabeth."

"She did not begin as a great hostess. We all have to start at the beginning in order to learn to do better," he said.

"Very well then. Maybe she can give me some tips on how to make the dinner a success?"

"I think that is a good idea. Why do we not start with a luncheon instead of a dinner? I believe Lady Carlisle is usually busy in the evenings." Darcy did not want Elizabeth in trouble if her husband needed her as his hostess in the evenings. Darcy did not know how often such a thing happened. "We can ask her later if she would able to come to dinner with us."

"What a lovely idea! Thank you, Brother!" Georgiana reached up to kiss his cheek, then practically skipped out of the room.

Darcy warmed to see his sister so happy. Surely it was Elizabeth's influence that had caused it. He knew that Elizabeth would be good for Georgiana. He just now had to grieve that they could never be true sisters.

He brushed the thought aside, resolving that he would think only of the present. He had spent a wonderful afternoon with Elizabeth, and he retired to his study, under the excuse of correspondence; but what he really wanted to do was relive every moment with Elizabeth in the sculptor's small house. She had been radiant in her pleasure. As he thought about it, he found himself growing hard. He was surprised. He had found release twice in the last few hours, and was amazed that he could be aroused again so soon. But then, Elizabeth had always had that effect on him. He tried to think of other things until his arousal died down; but he knew he would be seeing Elizabeth again in a few days, and he could not wait.

Elizabeth spent the rest of the day with butterflies of joy in her stomach, as she remembered how Darcy had kissed and touched her, how he had felt as he was moving inside her. It was so beyond anything in Elizabeth's previous experience that she almost could not believe it had actually happened. But the slight soreness inside her reminded her that Darcy had really been there, and she reveled in the evidence of his possession. The soreness was not enough to give her pain, but filled her rather with heat as she remembered his thick erection thrusting into her.

She felt no remorse for having cheated on her husband. In fact, she did not even consider it adultery. As Darcy as said, he was the true husband of her heart. She had not meant the vows when she had been forced to speak them in the Longbourn church, but if she could say them now to Fitzwilliam, she would, and she would mean them this time.

She thought back on the day with a sigh of pleasure. She had no idea the sexual act could seem so sacred. She felt closer to Darcy than she had ever felt to another human being, now that they had joined their bodies together. She wanted to do it again and again; not just for the pleasure he had brought her, but because she rejoiced in feeling so close to him. It was a union she had never anticipated, and she could not regret it, no matter what happened in the future.

She knew they would not remain in London forever; but instead of thinking of their inevitable separation, she resolved to try to enjoy Darcy's company while she had it. It would do no good to weep over something she had not yet lost.