Chapter 19
Two weeks had passed since Elizabeth had arrived at Campton Manor, and she was feeling very low. It was the first Christmas season she had spent away from Longbourn, and now she had none of the people she loved surrounding her. She looked down at the precious ring Darcy had given her, remembering the feeling of his lips against hers, of him moving inside of her. If only she could have all the people she loved gathered together with her! Jane would love Darcy, she just knew it. So would the Gardiners. She had written to both of them about Darcy and Georgiana, leaving out any intimate details of course. She had told them only that the Darcys were her friends.
She had not had the heart to put up any Christmas decorations at the Manor. She had instead written to her friend Rosamond Landsdowne, telling her that she was back in Gloucestershire. Rosamond had invited Elizabeth to their home for Christmas dinner, which Elizabeth had accepted gratefully, although she knew she was too depressed to truly appreciate her friend's company.
Rosamond had come for tea once, and Elizabeth had returned the visit a few days later. But Elizabeth mainly lived now for Darcy's letters. She had learned that he and Georgiana had returned to Pemberley for Christmastide, and she wished with all her might that she were with them.
She had spent some time getting a new wardrobe made. She had told Vincent that she would need enough money to have clothes made for her expanding waistline in the coming months. In an annoyed tone, he had told her to spend whatever she needed at the seamstresses in the little village near Campton Manor. Privately, she was delighted that she would be able to choose her own clothing for the first time since her marriage. Vincent would not even have to see them, since he had made it clear he would only come back to his country estate once she sent him word that the baby was born, and that would not be until early August of next year. She only hoped Vincent would not be suspicious when the babe came a month early.
A week before Christmas day, she heard a carriage driving up to the front doors of the manor. She was surprised. She had not been expecting Rosamond today. She rose to look out the window, shocked when she saw the Darcy insignia on the side of the carriage. Surely he could not have been so foolish as to come here! Vincent would surely hear of it if the neighbours knew a single man had come to stay with his wife!
But then the door of the carriage opened, and she saw Mr. Gardiner get down, then hand down Mrs. Gardiner, Jane, and the four Gardiner children. Elizabeth opened the front door and ran toward them, laughing and crying with delight at the same time.
"Aunt! Uncle! Jane! What are you doing here?" she cried, enveloping them in hugs.
"Mr. Darcy came to visit us at Gracechurch Street two weeks ago. He said you needed company over Christmas, that he would send his own carriage and horses to take us to visit you," said her aunt.
Elizabeth's eyes filled with tears again at Darcy's thoughtfulness. He had known that she had not seen her family for nearly a year, that she would need them during Christmas time, when he could not be with her.
"Come in, come in, you are very welcome!" Elizabeth cried, leading them inside. She told the butler, Simmons, to call for his wife, the housekeeper.
"Mrs. Simmons," she told the housekeeper, "this is my aunt and uncle and sister, Mr. and Mrs. Edward Gardiner and Miss Jane Bennet, and the Gardiner children, Amelia, Hugh, Susan, and Eddie. Please ensure that guest rooms and the nursery are prepared for them."
"Certainly, my lady," said the housekeeper with a curtsey.
"I do not think there is any need to alert the neighbourhood to their presence," Elizabeth added with a meaningful look.
She saw that Mrs. Simmons took her meaning. "I understand, madam." The servants at Campton Manor had been sympathetic toward Elizabeth from the first, and she knew they would make sure word of her visitors did not find its way back to Vincent.
"Mrs. Simmons is having your rooms prepared," she told her relations. "Would you like to refresh yourselves with some tea and biscuits? You must have been traveling all day."
"We have," said Mr. Gardiner.
"It is almost time for supper. Shall I tell them to go ahead and serve it?"
"That would be wonderful. We are very hungry," said Mrs. Gardiner.
Elizabeth found herself hugging Jane again. "It is so very good to see you, Lizzy," said Jane with tears in her eyes. "I have missed you so."
"I have missed you too, Jane. Why did Mary not come with you?"
"Mary is being courted! She did not want to leave Longbourn at this time."
"Really? She said nothing of it in her letters."
"The gentleman had only just asked Papa for permission. He is one of Uncle Philips' clerks."
"I hope she will be happy," said Elizabeth uncertainly.
"She seems very happy indeed," responded Jane, alleviating Elizabeth's concern.
"Come, and we will sit down for dinner. I am afraid the menu is nothing fancy, since it is only I at the present time. But I will make sure the meals tomorrow are more to your liking."
"I am sure whatever you have will be perfect for us," said Mrs. Gardiner. "No need to worry, Lizzy."
They sat down to sup, all eight of them, and it was the most enjoyable meal she had had since she had dined with Darcy's relations in London. The conversation was light and cheerful, as Elizabeth asked about their journey and inquired what the Gardiner children had been up to lately.
"We have missed you, cousin Lizzy," said Amelia, who had grown so much since Elizabeth last saw her that she hardly recognized her. Indeed, all the children had grown.
"Do you have books here for us to read?" asked Eddie.
"Indeed, I do," Elizabeth laughed. "Not many, but I have bought some myself. We can always go into the village and buy some more."
Mrs. Gardiner gave her a sharp look, as if wondering why they had so few books when Elizabeth loved to read so, but fortunately said nothing.
Mrs. Simmons and the maids evidently hustled, for the nursery and guest rooms were ready as soon as dinner was finished. Elizabeth showed them to their rooms and ordered hot water prepared for baths.
After her bath, however, Jane came to Elizabeth's room, and snuggled into bed with her to talk, as they used to at Longbourn. Tears came to Elizabeth's eyes at the memory of such times, and she held Jane close in a hug before asking for all the news. Jane had already kept her updated in her letters, but Lizzy was glad to hear it from word of mouth anyway.
"And you are with child, Lizzy?" asked Jane. Elizabeth had already informed her of that fact in one of her letters.
"Indeed, I am."
"I am so excited to hear it! To think I shall be an aunt soon!"
Elizabeth smiled at her sister's excitement. Secretly, she was grieved that Jane had still not found a good man of her own. She was three-and-twenty now, and would soon be on the shelf. But without Vincent's approval, she would never be able to present Jane to London society, where she would likely find a suitable match, someone who could support her as well as love her.
"The baby is due in August," she said instead.
"Perhaps I may come for the birth. I am sure Mama and Papa can spare me."
Elizabeth was certain that Vincent would not allow her sister with her at such a time, but only said, "Perhaps."
The two sisters talked until they fell asleep, side by side.
The next day, the Gardiner children clamoured for Christmas decorations. "I cannot believe you have not put up any greenery yet, Lizzy," said Mrs. Gardiner. "We certainly must help you rectify that."
They spent a happy day, bundled up against the cold weather, searching the nearby woods for a yule log, mistletoe, holly, and fir branches for ornamentation. Elizabeth ordered a footman to bring down the Christmas ornaments from the attic, and they attached red and golden bows and bells to the greenery.
It was later in the day that Elizabeth found herself alone with Mrs. Gardiner. "I am so glad you all could come, Aunt Madeline," she said, hugging her once more.
"So am I, Lizzy. And I am glad to hear of your condition. But I feel you have not been completely honest with me in your letters."
"What do you mean by that?" asked Lizzy, her heart beating faster.
"Only that I do not believe you are as happy as your letters portray. Your husband has not been good to you, has he?"
Elizabeth sighed, not surprised by her aunt's perspicacity. "No. In fact I have been very miserable. He is not a kind man."
"I was afraid of that," said Mrs. Gardiner with a frown. "Your uncle and I could tell as much from the tone of your letters. I do not think Jane suspects anything. It is not in her nature to think poorly of people, so you need not worry over that," she continued, alleviating Elizbeth's other fear. "But I could tell from the beginning, when he forbade you from seeing your family, that you could not possibly be happy with Lord Carlisle."
"Indeed, no," Elizabeth murmured.
"It was very wrong of your parents to force you into such a marriage. Your father should have economized better, in order to give you girls proper dowries. It was his own laziness that led to this."
"Well do I know it," Elizabeth said grimly. "I have not written to him or Mama since my marriage."
Mrs. Gardiner frowned. "I am sorry to see such a divide in your family."
"But tell me how Kitty and Lydia are doing. Have they improved at all?" asked Lizzy, trying to divert the topic.
Mrs. Gardiner accepted the change in subject. "They are doing much better," she said. "Kitty especially has blossomed away from Lydia's influence. It remains to be seen whether Lydia's good behaviour will continue once she returns to Longbourn, but for now she is improved."
"I am glad to hear it," Elizabeth said.
"Mr. Darcy is a very kind gentleman," Mrs. Gardiner changed the topic again. "I can see what you mean in your letters. He brought his sister to meet us, and we found them very agreeable."
"They are indeed. Miss Darcy in particular is a delight. I had the pleasure of taking tea with her almost every week while I was in London." She watched her aunt carefully as they discussed the Darcys, but could see nothing in Mrs. Gardiner's face or tone that suggested she suspected anything deeper between her and Darcy. Elizabeth was relieved. She was afraid she might have given too much away in her letters. Her aunt was very perceptive.
That evening, Elizabeth wrote a note to Rosamond to inform her that her relations had surprised her with a visit over Christmas, and offered an invitation for the Landsdownes to come to Campton Manor for Christmas dinner. Rosamond wrote back, accepting with alacrity. Elizabeth knew the Gardiner children would enjoy playing with Rosamond's son and daughter.
That Christmas was happier than Elizabeth had known in a long time. Her last Christmas at Longbourn, she had been engaged to a man she despised, certain her future would be bleak. This year, the only thing that could have made it perfect was if Darcy had been there. But she had letters from him, telling her of their Christmas at Pemberley with the Matlocks. She wrote back, thanking him for his kindness in sending the Gardiners and Jane to join her for the holidays.
Elizabeth missed Darcy with an almost physical pain that nothing could seem to assuage. Still, the presence of her family dulled the sensation until she could almost ignore it.
On Christmas Eve morning, they passed around gifts. Elizabeth had taken them down to the little market town near Campton Manor one day, and they had enjoyed looking around while Elizabeth had sneakily purchased presents for all of them. While her visitors had been prepared and brought gifts with them, Elizabeth had not known they were coming. Jane told her they had not written in advance because they wanted it to be a surprise.
"Mr. Darcy thought it would be better that way," she said. Elizabeth blessed Fitzwilliam again in her heart, thanking God for bringing such a wonderful man into her life.
Despite her fears, she looked forward to holding their child in her arms. She rejoiced at the thought that she would have part of Fitzwilliam with her forever. Often she touched her stomach, imagining their son or daughter growing there, and wondering what he or she would look like when they were born. She was not yet showing, but she had felt the baby move inside her, and it made it all the more real to her.
The Landsdownes arrived for Christmas dinner, and they all had a merry time dining on roast beef, pheasant, ham, lamb, fish, and a myriad of soups and sides. Then they all went to the church for the Christmas Eve service at midnight. Elizabeth listened to the familiar tale of a child born in a barn and laid in a manger, bringing hope to all the world, and it brought hope to her as well. She did not know how, but she had faith that God would bring her and Darcy together again somehow.
Her faith had faded a bit two weeks later, when the Gardiners and Jane waved goodbye from Mr. Darcy's carriage. Mr. Gardiner needed to get back to his warehouse for work, but they had spent almost a month with Elizabeth, and she could only be thankful for the time with them.