A/N: Hey!
This follows directly from Whatever I Want, but you can read it as a standalone thing too! I'm placing the season 7 finale around late October 2018, so this begins roughly 3 months after Whatever I Want.
Also, you may recognize this from a few years ago - I'm reposting/reworking/expanding the original series, and I hope you still follow along and enjoy it!
January 2019 -Vermont
The first time the thought crosses his mind, Fitz is arriving home from D.C. after a particularly long, hectic, stressful week working at the institute.
He heaves an exhausted sigh as he closes the front door behind him. He's ready to climb into bed with a generous glass of whiskey when he catches sight of her tiny feet dangling over the arm of his favorite leather chair as he walks into the living room.
The image of the love of his life curled up in his chair, fast asleep with a long forgotten book resting open in her lap, in their house, makes his chest ache and it takes his breath away because god, he loves this woman so much.
I want to marry you.
The thought is fleeting, interrupted by Olivia stirring when she senses his presence, but it's there.
"Hi." He utters softly, tucking away any slight temptation to drop down on one knee and propose right now. His face breaks into the most adoring grin as he watches her stretch with a yawn.
"Hi," Her smile is sleepy when she gazes up at him, but suddenly it fades and she sits bolt upright, "Oh shit! I had plans to wait up for you, order dinner –"
"It's okay, baby. I already ate." Fitz leans down to kiss her gently, lingering a little when she reaches up to cup the back of his neck.
"Wait out here ten minutes, okay?"
Olivia tosses her book on the coffee table alongside an empty glass of wine, then disappears down the hall, bare feet padding softly against the stone floors. Fitz helps himself to a glass of scotch from the crystal decanter at the side of the couch and wanders back to peer down at her book curiously. It's a guide to Vermont and she's bookmarked a few pages with post-its, tiny notes scrawled onto a couple of them. He realizes from her pretty cursive handwriting that they're color-coded; orange is for the places she plans to visit, pink is for dates the two of them can go on, and green is for places they can take Teddy. His heart clenches in his chest as he counts as many green post-its as pink ones, she's clearly given this a lot of thought.
"Hey," Her voice is quiet and when he lifts his gaze, she has a coy smile on her lips, "I thought you might like a bath after the week you've had."
It's then that he notices the silk robe she's wearing, she's belted it so that the fabric dips between her cleavage in a way that instantly makes him hard because he can tell she's naked underneath it.
"C'mon." She giggles and he figures he must've been caught openly salivating over her.
As he walks down the hall and climbs the stairs, following her, utterly fixated by the sway of her hips, he unbuttons his shirt with one hand. When they walk through their bedroom and finally reach the bathroom, he can't help but smile at the little touches she's made by lighting candles, adding jasmine and sandalwood oils to the bath, making it as inviting as she possibly can without lying naked in the tub, too.
But then she pins her hair up and shrugs out of her silk robe, stepping into the steaming water and he has to bury that thought again – the one he'd had moments earlier about wanting to marry her.
"So you've been making plans?" He asks to distract himself as he continues to undress, setting his glass down.
"Yeah, I picked up that guidebook at the grocery store this afternoon and couldn't help myself," She admits, sinking into the water and tilting her head back contentedly, "We should go for a picnic this weekend, weather's supposed to be nice."
"I'd love that," He grins, finally stepping out of his boxer briefs, "You gonna make room for me now?"
"Here, sit in front of me," She orders gently, reaching for his hand to guide him into the tub, "I wanna wash your hair."
Fitz leans back into Olivia, fitting himself snugly between her thighs and he lets her tip his head back to pour water over his hair, carefully avoiding his eyes. She's never done this before, but you'd never guess from the contented groans sounding from his throat when she begins massaging shampoo into his scalp.
"Feels so nice." He murmurs lowly, eyes sliding shut in pleasure.
"Good. I wanted to help you relax."
She tilts his head back again to wash the suds out of his hair and when she's done, he shifts himself until he can kiss her. His lips brush over hers languorously, drawing it out and tantalizing her endlessly.
"Love you. You're so good to me." He mumbles against her lips and he just keeps kissing her, unable to draw himself away.
"Hey, I'm not done yet!" She giggles, scratching her nails at the base of his neck, "Do you want dry, frizzy curls?"
His eyes roll playfully. "No."
"So let me finish."
Fitz obeys her order eventually, but not before stealing a few more sensuous kisses. When Olivia's done running conditioner through the ends of his hair and rinsing it out, she slides her hands over his shoulders, gently pressing her thumbs into his tight muscles in slow circles.
"Baby, you're so tense."
"You're already making me feel better though."
"Mmm, I'm just getting started." Her lips brush against the back of his neck and her tongue darts out, licking the moist skin there.
When he feels one of her hands stroke down his abdomen, fingers lightly grazing over his erection, he jerks under her touch.
"Liv –" He's whining her name, chest heaving softly as her thighs hug tighter around his hips.
"I just wanna touch you. Missed having you all to myself." Her mouth curves against the nape of his neck with an irrepressible smile.
It's a rare occasion that he settles against her, allowing her gentle exploration of his body without taking control. For several minutes her hands map his broad chest, she trails her fingertips back down his abs, feeling his muscles tense as his breath stutters.
"Wanna get out of the bath now?" Olivia asks as she takes his aching cock into her palm, grasping him lightly.
Fitz doesn't answer verbally, instead, he leaps out of the water before she has a chance to blink and his eagerness makes her giggle, especially when he bends down to lift her out of the tub and he carries her through to their bedroom.
"Fitz, no. Stop! Not on the bed!" Her shrieking protests are ignored by him as he lays her out on the clean sheets. "Fitz! I'm all wet!"
"I should hope so." A stupid grin pulls at the corners of his mouth when he raises his head.
She laughs in spite of herself, hitting him halfheartedly in the chest. "You know what I mean! Now we'll have to change the sheets."
"I have every intention of getting them dirty anyway." He reasons, biting his bottom lip as he takes in the sight of every inch of her moist skin and runs his hands up the inside of her thighs, still hugging his hips.
"Fitz," Her eyes darken with arousal and she licks her lips, watching his hands gently parting her legs wider and she knows from the way he's looking at her that he's going to devour her unless she stops him. "I wanna make you feel good and you're going to let me. Lie down."
"So bossy." He teases, still grinning at her as he moves to lay beside her and tugs at her wrists until she's straddling his lap.
"Sometimes you need reminding who's in charge." She states as she lifts her shoulders in a light shrug, batting her lashes innocently.
Fitz lets her nudge him, pushing him back into the pillows to give her space to kneel between his legs. Olivia dips her head, leaning in to line his throat and collarbones with nibbling kisses and then she drifts lower, swirling her tongue around one of his nipples. She drags her lips across his chest to suck his other nipple into her mouth, biting softly. A smirk spreads across her face when she hears his sharp intake of breath. She peppers his torso with kisses and little nips of her teeth until she reaches his hips. She lays one hand flat against his lower abdomen and curls her fingers around his erection, stroking him up and down experimentally. The air rushes out of his chest when she swipes her tongue up the underside of his cock, pressing it firmly against the tip.
"Ah - fuck! My god, Livvie…" His voice takes on a different kind of tone when she pleasures him like this. He sounds breathier, needier.
She gazes up at him through dark lashes as she continues caressing his length with her lips and tongue, watching him spiral with desire. He's so sensitive and responsive when she takes him into her mouth, groaning low in his throat at the sensation. She pulls her hand away and rests it on his thigh to take him deeper. His hips jerk and spasm uncontrollably, he almost apologizes but then she hums in approval, sucking in her cheeks as she begins to bob her head up and down. He reaches for the clips at the back of her head and snaps them open, letting her hair down so he can thread his fingers in it, lightly grasping handfuls of it.
Olivia uses her lips, tongue and teeth to bring him closer to the edge until she has to ease back because she needs to take a break from deepthroating him. Fitz grunts, shifting his hips forward when she focuses all her attention on the throbbing head of his cock, sucking him and expertly swirling her tongue over him. His eyes drift shut and his moans intensify when she works his length with her hand.
She pulls away, releasing him from between her lips with a pop. "Look at me."
He opens his sex-drunk eyes, gazing down at her lovingly as she takes his erection between her lips until he's buried deep in her throat. He growls through a clenched jaw, fighting against every instinct to buck his hips, gripping her hair tighter in his hands. It doesn't take much more to set him off, the pressure of her hot mouth around him is too much for him to hold off any longer and when he comes, he makes a sound from deep in his chest, something between a guttural moan and a shout. He throbs and pulses against the fluttering of her tongue, spilling himself into her mouth and she drinks him in, swallowing every last drop.
When she crawls up on top of him and presses tender kisses along his jaw, he's adorably dumbfounded and totally wrecked by the orgasm she's just brought him to.
"Was that good, baby?" Olivia giggles at the state he's in, affectionately nuzzling against the side of his neck.
Fitz regains some composure when he's caught his breath and he squeezes her tight in his arms. "Holy fuck, I love you."
February 2019
Fitz is angry.
He's angry and he's alternating between seething on the couch and pacing the living room because he can't settle.
Their Valentine's plans are ruined and he's pissed. She'd known how excited he was to share their first real Valentine's Day together, finally. Despite the fact she has little interest in the holiday, he had assumed she'd at least play along for him. But hour after hour passes and she hasn't shown up. He's left her increasingly frustrated voicemails but she hasn't even responded with so much as a text.
A little after eleven o'clock he hears her keys jingle as she unlocks the front door and steps inside. Her eyes lock with his across the room and she inhales a quiet gasp, immediately seeing his silent fury. The realization suddenly hits her.
"Oh my god… I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," She clasps a hand over her forehead and guilt washes over her face, "It's Valentine's Day."
"If you didn't want to celebrate it you could've just told me, instead of letting me wait all goddamn night for you like an idiot. I called you. Where the hell have you been?" He's raising his voice, almost yelling at her and then he notices her appearance; her hair's pulled back in a bun that's beginning to unravel, she's wearing her running clothes, and she's covered in dirt… and blood? "What happened? Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," She sighs, dismissing his worries immediately, "I was out for a run this morning and… Listen, please don't be mad."
That makes Fitz's temper rise again. "Liv, what the fuck have you done for me to be mad about? Don't tell me 'Don't be mad.'"
"Fitz, will you just come out here with me?" Olivia asks quietly and she stares at him, imploring him to follow her. "It's easier for me to just show you."
He clenches his jaw tightly for a second and exhales a breath of air, crossing over to meet her at the front door. She walks out to her car and he follows close behind her, watching as she makes her way over to the passenger side.
"Look."
The second she pulls open the door he understands. All of his questions are answered, but he's got a million new ones forming in his head already.
There's a puppy crying quietly in a cage placed on the seat. She's actually brought home a puppy.
"I found the little guy at the side of the road when I was coming back from my run. He was covered in mud, I almost didn't see him," As she explains, she slips her fingers between the bars of the cage to stroke the puppy's ear, calming his whining, "I think he'd been attacked or bitten or something, his front leg was torn up. I bundled him up in my jacket and ran back to my car, drove to the nearest veterinary clinic and… that's where I've been all day."
Fitz is speechless; she misconstrues his silence as simmering anger.
"We don't have to keep him, just give me a few days to find him a good home." Olivia swallows thickly, blinking back tears and he realizes just how attached she already is. As if he can understand her every word, the puppy's whimpers grow louder, like he's protesting the idea.
"Livvie," His voice is soft, void of all the anger he'd barely managed to contain just two minutes ago, "We are absolutely keeping him."
She immediately meets his warm gaze with her own watery eyes. "Really?"
I want to marry you.
The thought enters his head again, loud and clear, because he loves this woman with every part of his soul, beyond all reason. He shakes his head and lifts his shoulders in a shrug. "How could I say no?"
She stands on her tiptoes to kiss him elatedly, cupping his jaw with both hands. It takes all of five seconds before they're interrupted by a piercing squeak.
"Sorry, little buddy. How about we get you inside, huh?" He soothes gently, reaching inside her car to pull out the cage.
It takes them a couple of trips to bring everything into the house, she'd made sure she was well supplied with everything and anything a puppy could possibly ever need in the form of food, treats, toys and a bed. They set up a pen around the kitchen and Olivia finally lets the puppy out of the cage, patiently coaxing him over to her.
Fitz watches the little furball limp across the room, careful to not put too much weight on his bandaged paw. "He is just adorable, isn't he?"
"I'm so glad you wanna keep him. It would've broken my heart to let him go." She murmurs as she pets the pup's head lightly, letting him sniff around and get a feel for his new surroundings.
"What breed is he? Husky?"
"The vet said she thought Australian Shepherd Husky mix. She couldn't find a microchip but she said he's so underweight, it's likely he was abandoned or a stray."
"Poor bud." Fitz reaches out a tentative hand as the puppy approaches him, allowing him to get his scent before he strokes him.
Olivia leans into him, tucking her head under his chin. "I'm sorry I missed Valentine's Day. I would've called but I had no cell service and to be completely honest it had totally slipped my mind."
"Don't apologize, I'm the one who should be apologizing. I shouldn't have gotten so mad at you." He presses his lips to her forehead, kissing her tenderly. At that moment, the puppy scrambles into his lap and flops down, settling immediately. "I think he's stolen my heart from you, sorry Liv."
"I'm right there with you." She giggles, gently stroking a hand through the pup's velvety fur.
"Why don't you go take a shower? I can warm some dinner for you, you must be starving." Fitz offers, realizing she's still wearing her dirty running clothes and she probably hasn't eaten since earlier that morning.
"Are you sure?" Olivia hesitates, her gaze shifting between him and the puppy lying contentedly in his lap.
"Liv, I've got this. Don't worry," He tilts his head and turns his attention to the pup, "We'll be fine, won't we, bud?"
She kisses both of them sweetly and pushes herself up off the kitchen floor, leaving them to it.
Hours later, Olivia wakes for the third time to the sound of piercing whimpering coming from downstairs, muffled only slightly by their bedroom door. Stretching out with a sleepy yawn, she slides out of bed and pads barefoot down to the kitchen. The puppy only calms down when she lifts him out of the pen and hugs him against her chest.
"You're lucky you're cute," She breathes out a tired sigh and turns on her heels to walk back to the bedroom, "You'll have to be quiet and let me get some sleep, okay?"
When she enters the room Fitz is half propped up in bed, looking bleary-eyed. "Is he okay?"
"He only stops crying when I hold him, I think he's just scared of being alone."
"Oh buddy, c'mere." He reaches out and she hands the puppy to him as she climbs back into bed.
"I know this probably goes against every rule in all the dog training books, but let's let him sleep with us tonight."
"I'll set up a pen in here for him to sleep in tomorrow."
"Yeah, that's a good idea."
"We'll have to think of a name for him."
She stares at him for a while, watching with adoration as he nuzzles the puppy's ear and tucks him under his arm between them, hugging him affectionately. "What about Buddy?"
"Hmm?"
"Well, you've been calling him your little 'buddy' all night… Why not?" Fitz's face breaks into a sleepy grin. "I love that."
"Mmm, me too." Olivia smiles and cuddles close, sandwiching Buddy between them.
As he drifts back to sleep, that last thing he's conscious of is the overwhelming love he has for her; despite everything, this is the best Valentine's day he's ever had.
March 2019
Fitz can't make his way through the hospital fast enough. He marches down what seems like endless halls and takes what feels like the longest elevator ride of his life. Even with the guidance of his secret service detail escorting him, he feels lost until finally he's directed to the correct room. Relief floods him the second he looks through the windowed door and sees Olivia stroking Teddy's hair, comforting his boy.
"Hey," Fitz utters as he steps into the room, immediately striding across to them, "I got here as fast as I could. What happened? Are you okay, Ted?"
Teddy lifts his head from Olivia's shoulder and sniffles. "My arm hurts."
"He was playing with Buddy out on the terrace and he tripped and fell," Olivia explains with a furrow of her brows, not quite meeting his gaze, "We're just waiting on the x-ray results so they can assess the fracture."
"If my arm's broken does that mean I don't have to go to school?" Teddy asks, staring up at his dad with hopeful eyes.
Fitz chuckles, shaking his head. "No, I'm afraid not."
"I should call Mellie." Olivia announces quietly as she stands up from her seat, hooking her arm through the handles of her Prada purse.
Fitz lifts his head, frowning slightly at the way she charges across the room. He asks, "Does she know?"
"I've been keeping her updated. I said I'd call back when you arrived." She lingers at the door just long enough to answer before slipping outside.
Fitz strolls into their bedroom later that night to find Olivia fresh from the shower, hair dripping onto her terrycloth robe. She barely acknowledges his presence and continues applying lotion to her legs. She's been avoiding him since his arrival at the hospital, but he'd assumed it was just the stress of the situation and he'd given her space.
"Those painkillers the doctor prescribed have totally wiped Teddy out," He tries to catch her eye, make her connect with him but she keeps her head down, "I checked on him and he's fine."
"That's good." Olivia responds tersely, her voice quiet and distant.
Fitz steps to her and lightly grasps her upper arms. "Liv?"
When she finally meets his gaze, his breath stutters. She looks so lost and frustrated in a way he hasn't seen her look for months – not since before they exposed their lies and involvement in B613, and that scares him.
"What's wrong?"
"Why aren't you mad at me?"
He raises his eyebrows in surprise; it's not a question he's expecting from her.
"You should be mad at me, why aren't you?" She continues, snapping at him as she steps out of his grip.
"Mad? Why would I be –"
She cuts him off immediately, "Because this is my fault."
"Liv, kids fall over. Accidents happen. None of this is on you." Fitz shakes his head softly, hoping to instill some confidence in her but he can already see she's not accepting it.
"The first time I take care of your child on my own, he ends up in hospital." Olivia declares and begins to pace the length of their bedroom. He takes a seat at the end of their bed, knowing from experience that she needs to work through this without him interrupting her or touching her.
She huffs out a frustrated sigh and continues, "I should've been watching him closely, I should've been out there with him or made him play inside. You have every right to be mad, I don't get it… I don't understand how you're so calm about this. Teddy got hurt and it's because I wasn't taking good enough care of him. How can I expect you to trust me to watch over your child when I can't even trust myself? And what if somewhere down the line I get pregnant? I can't even take care of a nine year old, how can I make sure a tiny baby is safe?"
Oh. There it is.
"You want to have a baby?" Fitz asks, staring at her and when her hazy eyes blink and focus on him as she stops in her tracks, he sees that she's been thinking out loud.
"Uh – no… I – I didn't say that." Olivia stumbles over her words, suddenly unable to articulate her thoughts.
"We can talk about this, Liv. It's okay," His voice is carefully soft and tender because he wants her to be open with him, he's learned the hard way how easily she can put her walls up, "You've been thinking about it."
"It's kind of hard not to," She breathes out, her shoulders sinking with a defeated shrug, "We're finally able to just be and…"
"What?"
"Part of me worries, sometimes."
His brows draw together in a frown because things have been so great – never better – and the idea that she's perhaps not been enjoying their last few months together has him questioning everything.
"What are you worried about?" Fitz is tentative, almost fearful of her answer, but he has to know.
"Is it enough?" Olivia's voice trembles as she asks the question and it hurts for him to even hear the words from her lips.
"Livvie –"
"Am I enough? When the novelty wears off, are you sure that what we have will be enough for you?"
"Olivia, listen to me," He says and reaches for her hands, pulling her to stand between his knees, "I've waited ten years to wake up next to you every day, in our bed, in the house I built for us. There is no novelty to us being together. This is it for me. You are everything."
She has to rest her palms against his chest for stability because he actually makes her weak at the knees. "God, where did you come from?"
The corners of his mouth tug into a crooked smile and he clasps his hands around her slender arms. "Do you want us to have a baby, Liv? Or is it that you think I'm not enough?"
"You're enough… You're too much, sometimes. It can be overwhelming," Olivia exhales a breathy laugh and then tilts her head to the side, staring at him, her gaze unrelenting, "How would you feel about us having a baby?"
"It was part of my dream for us, having children together, living here. It still could be," Fitz admits as he traces his thumbs in circles over the sensitive skin on the inside of her wrists, "But now that we're here, if it's just us… I'm finally happy, Livvie."
"I think," She hesitates, inhaling a deep breath, "I think I'd like to have a baby with you. Maybe. I don't know, spending time with baby Robin, seeing how happy Quinn and Charlie are with her… It'd be nice."
I want to marry you.
It's becoming a recurring thought, he finds himself contemplating it on a daily basis. It often comes quietly into his consciousness, like mornings when he walks into the kitchen to find her eating a bowl of cereal, dressed in one of his shirts that dwarfs her tiny figure. But sometimes, in moments like this, it's so much louder and harder to ignore.
"I'm not saying I want us to start trying," She continues, interrupting his thoughts, "But if it happens, it happens. And maybe we can talk about it more seriously later."
"Okay," He reaches for her waist and pulls her down into his lap, capturing her lips with a loving kiss before easing back, "I don't want you to hold onto any guilt over what happened today. Teddy's fine. Neither Mellie nor myself blame you. And I couldn't have handled things any better."
"Are you sure about that?" She gives him a skeptical look, brows drawing together.
"Liv, when Karen was seven or eight she broke her ankle. Wanna know how it happened?"
"How?"
"We were on a family vacation and she was jealous that Jerry knew how to dive, so I was teaching her. I thought it was a good idea for her to take a run-up to the edge of the pool. On wet tiles," Fitz winces at the memory, exhaling a soft sigh, "She slipped and her little leg snapped like a twig."
Olivia's lips part in a silent gasp, "Fitz, you didn't…"
"I did," He half grimaces, half laughs, "And Mellie didn't let me hear the end of it."
"I can only imagine." She giggles, tossing her head back.
"My point is parents make mistakes, Liv," His arms encircle her waist as he speaks, pulling her close to him, "Whether it's with the kids I already have or ones we might have in the future, accidents like this will happen."
"I think we may have to rethink plans for the weekend," Her brow arches and she gives him an obvious look, threading her fingers in his hair, "A broken arm doesn't lend itself well to rock climbing."
He laughs. "You may have a point about that."
"How about we take it easy, curl up by the fire and have a movie day? And then Sunday we could take him to that aquarium in Burlington."
"Mmm, sounds good." Fitz murmurs, leaning in to kiss her neck, sucking at her pulse point.
"Fitz…" Olivia sighs out his name because he knows just the spot to make her melt, "Teddy is –"
"– Asleep, in his room, on the other side of the house," He finishes for her, biting softly at her delicate skin, "And I want to make love to you, baby. Been thinking about it all day."
She's helpless to refuse him; she lets him spread her out on the comforter and pull open her robe. Her chest heaves when she inhales a deep breath of air, watching as his gaze roams her naked body freely. She tugs her bottom lip between her teeth, her eyes darkening with lust.
"Take off your clothes."
His eyes widen and a stupid, amused grin spreads across his face. "Olivia Pope, that's my line."
"Oh really?" She feigns innocence, staring at him through thick, black lashes. "My memory is failing me… You might have to remind me why."
Fitz does exactly that. He reminds her in every way, all night, until they're both sated and exhausted. The next day Olivia barely lasts through the first twenty minutes of The Wizard of Oz before cuddling into his side, tangling their legs together under the blanket and falling asleep against his chest.