Chapter 12: The Harrowed and the Missing.
Sarah stretched, making her spine click as she readjusted her body on her sofa as she continued to watch the rain lash against the windows.
It had been two months. Two exceptionally long months adjusting back into her very mortal life after a taste of the not so mortal.
And Sarah hadn't seen feather nor beak of Jareth in that time.
And she didn't know how she was supposed to feel about that. She briefly felt anger, but then embarrassment over caring enough to be furious in the first place. Then she felt irritation at herself for caring enough to be embarrassed.
She was aiming for apathetic but failing dismally, and at best was hitting ambivalent.
After all, he was now engaged to Icca Debe. Hoggle had confirmed it. He'd also mentioned that Icca had concocted an elaborate plot in order to gain his fiancé. Hoggle told her that fae find that tripe very romantic and the more elaborate the scheme, the more worthy they were as a potential mate.
There was zero-way Sarah was going to scheme her way back into Jareth's bed, so she fully resigned herself to never seeing him again.
On the positive side, however, Travis Haverstock had finally been arrested and this time his sentence had stuck. He wouldn't be gaining freedom for an exceedingly long while.
And work was surprisingly supportive. Peter, her team leader on the Labyrinth House project, sold his design to some anonymous rich toff (God, was she even starting to sound like Jareth now) and had tied up the loose ends in her absence. Sarah found she no longer cared about the project anyway. Not after cheating potential death, rape, and servitude to Jareth's cousin.
She was plummeted right back to being a float for the various current projects until a new one started and she was picked for a team. Pre-wedding Sarah would have been heartbroken, but post-wedding Sarah was deflated. Not yet defeated.
On the not so positive side—her father.
Not only did he look strangely at her but he kept asking her a million questions about magic and the Underground and how on earth did she learn about it and meet Jareth in the first place.
Oh, you know. Just wished your son away when he was an infant in a fit of pique.
She avoided the questions but wasn't nearly so deft at avoiding the onslaught of phone calls he made to see if she was still alive. She was grateful he hadn't revealed the truth to Karen.
He had also struck up a friendship with Ismaila. Apparently now that he had seen magic, he could view the house as it was and not the abandoned pile of rubble. They frequently had tea.
Then her dad would ring and ask her if she had heard from Jareth or if she would pop in to see Ismaila. The answer to that was obviously no. She didn't want to see her because she didn't want to see Jareth. Part of her longed to hurl strong words at him for his treatment of her, but she really did not want to hear Ismaila make excuses for him again, like she had the night she had returned to Harrows Lane.
Sarah's heart thumped painfully fast in her chest when a white blur zipped past the rain drenched window. She told herself it was an ordinary barn owl out during the day and no way was it a Goblin King shaped owl.
She approached the window with fierce determination not to show any sign of weakness, and grabbing both curtains tightly in her fists, she glared at the white blob in the tree outside her apartment and pulled them shut tight. She flopped back on the sofa, squeezed her eyes shut and tried to regulate her breathing.
It wasn't Jareth. It wasn't Jareth. It wasn't Jareth.
After all, she had seen a barn owl out in daylight before. Years ago…at the park. And that wasn't Jareth either. Was it?
Jareth sat on his throne, tapping his cane against his thigh. He was restless.
Today he would have to attend a hearing with the High Fae Court to attest for his mother's presence Underground. And he hated to admit it, but his nerves were getting the better of him.
Especially, given he couldn't really justify it. He was grateful she came, even if it did no good, but as foolish an errand as it was, it had been nice to have someone in his corner for a change.
Jareth groaned and covered his face with his free hand as an awful stench wafted up the stairs, proceeding the carrier of said smell. Hoggle appeared at the top of the stairs glaring daggers at Jareth who merely smirked.
As punishment for bringing Ismaila Underground, Jareth had tipped him headfirst into the Bog of Eternal Stench. Of course, he didn't do it himself as that would involve getting too close to the bloody thing, but he had sent him into the Labyrinth and what a coincidence it was that the part he traversed was a slide directly into the Bog.
There were no convenient ledges to balance on this time. Hoggle ended up with the full-bodied effect.
Hoggle folded his arms and continued to glare.
Jareth continued to smirk. Even though his eyes were threatening to water. The few goblins that were loitering about took off in a scurry of feathers and claws, muttering about the stink.
"What can I do for you, Sir Hoggle?" Jareth asked, hooking his leg over the arm of his throne. Hoggle should have known that his elevation into knighthood was a threat and a promise.
"You is a rat," he said, through gritted teeth. "I went there with your ma because I thought yous cared about Sarah. And for me troubles, you bog me!"
Jareth sighed. The truth was, that left to its own devices, the bog water would make him stink for an eternity. But Jareth was able to remove it. He was the only one who could. Many goblins would profess to have the secret potion or knickknack that would remove the smell—for a small fortune, of course. None of them worked.
And he was planning on removing the stink once things settled back to normal. He just wasn't going to tell Hoggle that.
"Who said I cared anything for Sarah?" he asked, in a bored tone. "I am engaged to Icca Debe and that is where my heart lies."
"Bullshit!" Hoggle yelled.
"You've been spending too much time with her," Jareth said. "Her brazenness is rubbing off on you if you dare speak to your Sire like that."
"You is no King of mine," Hoggle muttered. "Lady Ismaila wouldn't have let this happen to Sarah if she was still queen."
Jareth felt the fury build up inside him and then he let it wither. What was the point on dwelling on the past? He had lost her but had at least saved her from one unfortunate marriage. Whether he could save her from any others, was to be seen. And highly doubtful.
In his mind, he had concocted many scenarios where he would still see her at balls, parties, and festivals, married to whoever eventually won her. He would imagine himself whisking her away into dark alcoves and giving her moments of freedom away from the prison of her marriage…even if it was a brief respite. He swallowed thickly, and then regretted it as the taste of the Bog filled his mouth.
"Leave me," he ordered.
"I won't leave until yous do something about Sarah," Hoggle said, taking a brave step forward.
"Then you won't be leaving," Jareth replied, softly. "Unless it is as your corpse."
Hoggle squeaked. It was all too easy to get a rise out of the dwarf.
"Don't you dare come crawling to me with your problems again."
"My problem?" Hoggle spluttered.
"Yes, Higsit." Jareth stood up, produced a crystal ball that he popped directly in front of his face to allow him to breathe fresh air. "You want me to fix the Sarah issue and that has nothing to do with me. Not my problem, Hogwit. Yours. And one you created."
"I did no such thing," he exclaimed, taking steps backwards now.
"You befriended her," Jareth said, aware of how callous he was being, but his nerves couldn't take any more of the dwarf. "If you care so much, you ought to protect her from my kind. Why should I fix your mess?"
Hoggle paled and his eyes took on a watery sheen. "She was wrong about you. Saids you were decent under all that hair and makeup. Saids you cared."
"She was wrong, Hopple. She lied to you. Such a good friend our Champion is to you," Jareth said sardonically as he threw a crystal at the dwarf's chest that sent him tumbling down the stairs. "You can't trust a mortal. And you certainly can't trust her."
His voice echoed down the stairs, and uncaring if Hoggle was injured or even alive, Jareth turned on his heel and marched out of his throne room.
Hours had passed, and Jareth was once again sprawled across his throne, rubbing his temples. It was touch and go, but his mother was let off with a warning to not enter the Underground again without the explicit permission of the High Queen. Jareth was bewildered, to own the truth. He was not expecting that outcome.
He had notified his mother, who had once again implored him to go and see Sarah.
How he wanted to give into her and do as she said. He wanted to see her, even if it was just briefly. But he couldn't. Least of which was that Icca had made him swear not to, but he would also be putting Sarah at risk. He didn't want to draw attention to her right now. And if anyone caught wind that he was visiting her, then the desperation for someone to marry her would increase. Above all, he had to keep her safe.
Even if everything inside him longed to find her, to hold her, to kiss her and to assure her that he hadn't abandoned her. That he was not responsible for any of this.
Though, he admitted, that he could have played a small part in prevention by never taking her to his Labyrinth in the first place. If she had never won, and Toby was his heir apparent, then she would have returned Aboveground to live her life with guilt plaguing her like Gavin had.
Seeing the life Gavin lived now: obsessive and paranoid, made Jareth grateful Sarah had won. He certainly hadn't felt that way at the time, but he supposed even fae can grow and change.
He was just spiralling into thoughts of how he could have made this any different, when a goblin announced a visitor at the border of his Kingdom. He sighed and vanished from his throne to the main gates.
The goblin guards bowed at his appearance.
"Icca Debe," one of them announced. Jareth sighed again and indicated that they should open the gate and let him enter. Jareth watched the creaking metal gates slowly open with apprehension. He felt powerless ever since he agreed to the bargain with his former paramour. He hated being powerless. And he despised being in Icca's power.
At the back of his mind, he considered whether he would feel differently if it was Sarah, but before he could decide on his answer, he was being kissed by Icca.
"Inappropriate," Jareth said, stepping out of Icca's arms and folding his own. "We are not yet married, and there are witnesses."
"Oh, tosh," Icca said. "We are as good as married and who cares about the opinions of some grubby goblins?"
Jareth was the first to admit he didn't treat them as equals, but he was still their leader and protectorate. He could disparage them all he wanted. He could throw them down the stairs (like Hoggle) but no one else could. Perhaps he'd extend that grace to Sarah. But certainly not this fae who was holding him hostage.
"I care," Jareth said, crossing his arms. "They are my subjects. And as dull-witted and pointless as they are—" He stopped talking when Icca was once again pressing his lips against his.
Icca pulled away slowly, his eyes glazed over and a slight smirk on his lips. "I have a surprise for you."
"Hm?" Jareth asked, licking his lips to remove the taste of the fae. "Your presence here is a surprise. "
"Why should it be?"
"Usually, you write before you visit."
"That is part of the surprise," he said, grinning. "Now let's go." Icca held out his hand and Jareth wanted to rebel. He wanted to feel like the king he was born to be, instead of this pawn who would do anything to keep this fae happy, to keep Sarah safe.
Jareth was under no illusions that one false move, and Icca would happily let the worst sort of fae marry Sarah. He was pretty adept at revenge as he had learnt recently, given the bind he found himself in after having ended their previous relationship.
Icca was the only fae aside from himself that had Aboveground privileges. Jareth's were due to his role, but Icca was due to the boon from Queen Milidred.
He could take her any time he pleased, as he already did for Diddershins' wedding.
So, he gave Icca his hand and felt magic tugging around him before darkness set in. When the magic stopped, they were Aboveground. In a park next to a street Jareth did not recognise.
"Where are we and why are we here?" Jareth asked, feeling perturbed and out of his depth in someone else's control.
"Disguise yourself as a mortal and let's go for a walk."
Jareth did as he was bidden and donned his Jamie persona once more while Icca also shortened his hair, his ears and changed the colour of his eyes and his outfit to jeans and a shirt.
They strolled up the bustling streets for a few minutes until Jareth spotted her.
Sarah!
She was walking with her head down low and heading towards the park they had just come from. Icca tugged his sleeve and then indicated that he should approach her.
"What is it you require of me?" Jareth asked, his eyes never leaving Sarah.
"Talk to her," Icca demanded.
"And what is it you would like me to say?"
"Jareth?" Icca asked, surprised. "What has become of you? Why are you pretending to be so obliging? This isn't you!"
"It is me now, Icca," Jareth replied, heavily. "You get what you ask for when you strong-arm me into marriage."
Icca tutted. "And this is my wedding present to you. Your last chance to make it right with her and say your goodbyes. Then you can tie up your loose ends and gain some closure, so we can move on with our lives."
Jareth knew it had to have been a selfish motive for this, but he wasn't going to let that stop him grabbing the bull by the horns. Without looking at Icca he headed towards Sarah, feeling the weight of Icca's stare as he walked off.
He knew he shouldn't trust Icca and this could easily be a trap of his design, but Jareth felt that his motivation for Jareth to gain closure was selfish enough for it to be taken at face value.
He took a deep breath and side-stepped into Sarah's way. She flicked her eyes upwards as she made to step around him but then froze as their eyes met. Her mouth fell open in that slightly clueless way of hers, that he actually found so adorable. Then she snapped her mouth shut and her look hardened.
"Jamie," she said, coldly.
He nodded, not expecting anything less from her. "Sarah."
"What are—" She inhaled deeply. "Why are you—" Her frown deepened and then she tried to step around him. "Leave me be."
"I have come to say goodbye," Jareth said without looking at her, but his acute sense of hearing picked up the tell-tale sign that she had paused.
"Bye, Jamie," she said, sardonically. He deserved that too.
"I should have come back sooner," he said, still with his back to her. "I shouldn't have let our…dispute be the last interaction between us."
"It wasn't though, was it?" she snapped. "You appeared during my incarceration in your house."
"Yes, that wasn't my house, but a deep illusion you were trapped in by Icca," Jareth said, finally turning to her. She was standing side on to him, her hair whipping around her face and her eyes bright. She was a sight!
"Oh, your fiancé?" she asked, lightly, but Jareth fancied there was a tinge of bitterness underneath her blasé words.
"You know as well as I do that obsession is a dangerous thing." He knew his words appeared apropos of nothing but recognition softened her expression. "Remember when we met at your parents' party. Remember that Icca was my Gavin."
"Your mom said that it wasn't as it seemed," Sarah said, evenly, holding his gaze for the first time. "And Hoggle filled in a lot of the gaps in the story."
"My mum was correct," he replied, taking a step closer. "And as much as it pains me to admit, Hogw—Hoggle—is also correct."
He watched her face flicker at the correct pronunciation of his dwarf's name. Ever the advocate of lower beasts, was his Sarah.
"I did it for you," he whispered. "I did it to save you, Sarah. I couldn't let you marry that oaf. But trust me with everything that I am, and will be, that I made this choice for you."
"Fae play dangerous games," she quoted. "I was so angry with you." She sniffed. "But when I thought about you marrying Icca, I knew that there had to be something I wasn't privy to."
He smiled, feeling pride well up in his chest. She wasn't fighting him. She was understanding his predicament without having to spell it all out.
"And for once, I was the pawn this time," he said softly. "Out played, out manoeuvred, out done. But I would do it all again, if it meant protecting you, Sarah."
"Why?" she asked, getting straight to the crux of it. "It would be easier for you to have just let me marry him than to sacrifice yourself."
Jareth smirked, taking another step towards her. She took a step towards him too, and he could feel her warmth and could smell her light, sweet fragrance. Peaches. She smelt of peaches.
"It would have been easier," he said, leaning down until his mouth was near her ear. He knew there would be a blackbird shaped Icca lurking in a nearby tree. "It wouldn't have made it right."
"So, it was because of your morals?" she asked, raising her brow.
"You have been labouring under the false impression that fae cannot love," he whispered into her ear. "Nothing less than love would bind me to another fae for eternity."
He pulled away and searched her face for understanding and was surprised to see moisture gathering at the corners of her eyes.
"You tell me this, as you have come to say goodbye?" she asked, hurt lacing her every syllable.
"I—"
"I could have lived without that knowledge, Jamie," she said, a tear leaking down her cheek.
"Sarah," he breathed, wanting to remember her scent for eternity; to catalogue it and take it out again when he would ultimately be at his lowest points. "I know you don't believe my kind can love. I know you think it is beyond my capabilities."
He studied her expression; so open and trusting in this moment. The surprise of seeing such openness looking up at him startled him. Sarah had never approached any interaction between them with anything but suspicion. He swallowed thickly as her green eyes blinked and continued to look at him with such expectation. He knew she was waiting for her to give voice to his suggestions, but the words stuck in his throat.
He wanted to turn and flee, and then squeeze his fingers around Icca's throat for making him believe this was real. It appeared too easy to be real. She was too understanding and complacent. But he stayed put, not caring if it was a trick or not. It might be all he ever got for the rest of his immortality.
"Are you real?" he asked, in a whisper. "Or another trick from Icca?"
Sarah blinked rapidly and stepped back, looking at him now with confusion. "I honestly had the same question."
He didn't want her to move away, so he reached down and took her hand in his. "Where is the Sarah that would rather hit me than kiss me? The Sarah who would rather sling insults at my person than look at me with such…softness in your eyes?"
"Where's the Jamie—the Jareth—that would rather kidnap babies than to profess…what exactly are you professing, by the way?"
He couldn't help but chuckle once more. "My love, precious, for you."
Jareth watched her cheeks flush and then sadness enter those lovely eyes.
"I love you, Sarah."
"And you tell me now, before I never see you again."
"Oh, you will see me again," he said, angrily. "When you are married to whomsoever Icca decides to pawn you off to."
Sarah tried to wriggle her hand free from his. "Out of the fire, into the firepan. When am I to expect my next wedding day then?"
"I do not know," he said. She snorted. "It is the truth. I saved you from one marriage but I can not save you from them all. And someone is bound to have enough leverage to convince Icca to permit it eventually." He looked up to the tree behind him and scowled.
"Sarah, would you allow me a goodbye kiss?"
Sarah raised a brow and then looked up at the branch behind his head.
"Is that blackbird your beloved?"
"Possibly," he replied, without looking at the bird.
She sighed. "I do prefer owls," she said. "Particularly barn owls."
"It warms my heart to hear it, Sarah, truly, but my request?"
"A kiss?" she asked, relaxing her hand in his. "Is this the resolution of a fairy tale? Will it free you from your bind? Will it free me from mine?"
He shook his head, feeling the weight of her expectation and her disappointment. "Alas, I can not save us from our fates this time, precious. I am powerless. All I can ask is a kiss to remember you by and then I will bid you goodbye. It will not turn me into a frog and nor will it wake you from a hundred-year sleep. My kiss holds no power."
A muscle in her jaw twitched. "Really? There is no magic that you can use to prevent my marriage to a stranger and your marriage to that blackbird?"
He shook his head. "I…and I find this incredibly hard to say…am sorry, Sarah. I cannot."
She glanced down briefly and nodded. When she looked up those unformed tears spilt over her cheeks. Without even thinking, he smoothed them away with his thumbs.
"Shhh," he said, pressing his lips to her forehead. "It can't be more painful for you than it is for me, my darling."
"Shut up, Jareth," she muttered as her face pressed against his chest. "You don't even know what you're talking about."
"What are you talking about?"
"You silly man," she said, weaving her arms around his waist and snuggling deeper into his chest. He might have imagined her nose nuzzling into the exposed skin at the junction of his collar.
"Not a man," he muttered back, wrapping his arms around her. "But a curious fae as to what it is you consider me silly for. Tell me."
"You know."
"I might, but I would rather hear it from you," he insisted. "Say the words."
"Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered," Sarah started.
"Not those words," Jareth growled.
"I have fought my way here…"
He tilted her head up and pressed his lips against hers before she had a chance to say any more of that blasted, infernal speech. It was brief and he pulled away, still cupping her face in his hands. "You aren't taking back any child I may or may not have taken, Sarah. You are telling me that you love me."
He smirked as her cheeks once again coloured and he pressed another brief kiss to her lips. "Tell me."
He alternated kissing her and asking her to tell him, until she was the one pressing her body against his and making their kiss linger. She didn't pull away and instead felt her tongue swipe against his. His fingers left her jaw and found themselves deep in her hair, tilting her head to the right angle to deepen their kiss. When he felt her release him, he rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes.
Their breaths still mingled and their heart rates were both galloping at speed. As far as goodbye kisses went, he couldn't ask for more.
"I love you, Jareth," she said, after their breathing had settled back down. He opened his eyes to see tears flowing freely down her cheeks once more. He closed his eyes again as pain and exhilaration flowed through him.
"Would you have married me, given the choice?" she asked, uncertainty making her voice uneven.
"Without question," he whispered. "While I would wish you untethered to my world, if given the choice, I would have married you and kept you safe from my kin. Never doubt it, Sarah. You are mine…"
He felt her move and he released her to study her face. It was pale and drawn and she wasn't looking at him. She inhaled sharply and he turned just in time to see the blackbird swoop from the branch and land gracefully beside him, as a fully-fledged fae.
"Icca," he acknowledged, warily.
"You were just meant to say goodbye, Jareth," he said. "Not make any vows to her."
"What vows exactly do you believe I have made?" Jareth asked, annoyed that his final moment with Sarah was interrupted.
"You just declared that she was yours, Jareth," Icca said, crossing his arms. "Something that no fae should say lightly."
Jareth was about to smile and retort when Icca flicked his wrist and Sarah's eyes went vacant.
"What did you just do?" Jareth asked, grabbing Sarah's shoulders, and peering into her sightless eyes.
"I have removed her memories of your encounter," Icca said, laconically.
"Why?" he asked, gently squeezing her shoulders, eliciting no response from her.
"You took my gift too far and now I have revoked it," he said, clicking his fingers in front of Sarah's face. She instantly turned around and started walking away from them both.
"You revoked a gift?" Jareth asked, incredulously. "And isn't that breaking one of the fundamental tenants of faedom?"
Icca shrugged. "Less so than making a vow you cannot hope to keep."
"What have you done to her?" he asked, striding towards her. Icca grabbed his arm and held him in place.
"She is fine," he said. "The magic will wear off when she is at a safe distance from us. And while she won't remember any of this, she will be unharmed."
Jareth shook Icca off and watched helplessly as Sarah disappeared from the park into the crowds of shoppers back on the main street.
He would never hold or kiss her again. For the first time in his life, someone had told him that they loved him, and it was like it never even happened.
Fae couldn't cry, but he felt pricks of pain behind his eyeballs. He would make Icca's marriage to him a living hell for this final betrayal.