I do not own anything Dragon Age. Rights belong to BioWare.
Zevran did not catch us up until we had just begun to leave the city. Tilly had graciously sent word to Lanabel to convey my apologies to Isabella when she arrived. I felt so guilty that I wasn't going to be able to greet my friend as soon as she returned but this business with Denarius could not wait.
"My lady I hope your trip into the city was relaxing. You seemed to enjoy yourself." How sweet. He's asking if I am alright. "Of course. Hopefully soon my arrival will be yesterday's news and I can go back to my semi anonymity." I failed to keep the annoyance from my voice.
"If you wanted anonymity, why did you have to have such a spectacular introduction to the Magisters?" Fenris deep voice rumbled. It was the first time he had spoken since talking to Pierre a couple hours ago.
"My lady had no say in that party." Zevran answered for me. "She could hardly say no to her dear uncle Pavus." Fenris nodded his head appearing to be lost in thought.
"Pavus is well known in Minrathous for not keeping slaves at his manor. Why do you?" The words were barley out of his mouth before his eyes widened in surprise. His entire demeanor changed. He straightened his back and rose his chin in defiance. He is expecting me to lose my temper for being questioned. I thought to myself as a laugh escaped me. I pull my reigns in, stopping the horse I was riding. I pulled the animal around to look at him and Zevran.
The Crow had stopped his animal with the reigns in one hand. The free hand reached down to the dagger he had hidden in the top of his knee-high boots. The way he looked between me and the slave reminded me of a snake, poised and ready to strike.
"Can you keep a secret Fenris?" the playfulness in my tone surprised me. Zevran tried to hold me back with a curt "My lady?" but Fenris nodded curiosity pooling in his eyes. "Zevran isn't my slave. He's just my very good friend who plays a role in the public eye to ensure I am not alone in the pit of vipers I've found myself in."
"I see." Was his only reply. "Like anyone else in Minrathous, I do have ulterior reasons for being here and I intend to stay as long as it takes to achieve my goals. I will not be dissuaded."
Zevran cursed. "Why would you go and tell him something like that? Varric is going to be so pissed." I just shrugged in response. "It just felt like the right thing to say at the time. Hopefully I won't regret it." I looked over at Fenris and held my breath.
He stared at me for what felt like forever. "You aren't concerned that I will give this information to Denarius?" the question from him dripped with curiosity.
"What information? That the slave I threatened him over isn't a slave? That I have a reason to be in this city? Are you also going to tell him that my hair is white and I'm partial to wielding two blades?" My laughter turned the grim elf's cheeks pink but he said nothing. I let the silence stretch until it became mildly uncomfortable before I turned my horse back and set off for my "Uncle's" estate."
Varric had allowed just enough time to hand off our horses and bring Fenris inside and set a meal in front of him before dragging me off to a side room. "What in the Maker's name is Denarius' pet doing here?"
I reached into my cleavage to pull out the sealed envelope and before I had the chance to speak Zevran threw me right under the wagon. "Better question is why did she feel the need to inform that same pet that I am just acting like her slave?" his tone was so flippant that it almost sounded like a joke. My dwarven friend did not find it amusing in the slightest as he began to sputter. "She What?! Why?"
Even though I towered over the man he had a way of making me feel so small when his anger was directed to me. I pushed him back, walked around him and sank into the closest chair. "I have several reasons but first, why don't we see why Denarius sent him in the first place."
I ripped open the envelope and pulled out the card within.
Our last meeting was electric. I am formally extending a much-coveted invitation to my Manor to foster camaraderie and celebrate your many achievements.
This event will be held in three days' time. Rest assured that the evening will be meticulously planned promising delightful culinary options and an atmosphere for engaging conversations. Kindly confirm upon receiving this invitation so that it will afford me the pleasure to make the necessary preparations to ensure an enchanting evening.
I look forward to your esteemed presence.
Best regards,
Denarius
Reading the beautiful scripted invitation made my skin crawl. The sensation was made worse when I read it aloud to Varric and Zevran.
"And the elf is supposed to return your reply." Varric sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'll leave the reply in your very capable hands Varric." I crooned at him. "Maker knows my own penmanship is terrible." I laughed.
"You don't get it Hawke. This is a formal invitation. You can't really say no without publicly snubbing a Magister. I guarantee you Daddy Pavus has received a similar invitation."
"Wasn't the whole point of this to get close to the man and discover for the Archon if Denarius was selling information to the Quanari?" I asked oblivious to the reason Varric looked so annoyed.
Zevran roared in laughter. Varric muttered about having to go talk to Pavus and walked out the room. "What's so funny Zev?" I was starting to feel a little foolish since I didn't understand the reactions from both men. "I think I will let you squirm." Was all he replied as he left the room leaving me speechless with my mouth hanging open.
When I had regained my composure, I went back to the dining room to find Fenris silently eating a generous portion of meats and cheeses. I sat across the table from him and his only acknowledgement of my presence was the slightest raise of an eyebrow.
"I really appreciate your patience." I began. He finished chewing and took a drink from the goblet closest to him. "It's not as if I had any choice." His deep voice rumbled. The bitterness in his voice squeezed my heart.
"Do you know anything about the invitation you brought me?" he shook his head. "Nothing more than I am to wait for your reply and return it to him."
My next question died in my mind as the dining room's doors swung open and a red faced Pavus walked in, staff clicking wildly on the marble floor. Varric was on his heels "I don't like what it looks like either but…" was all he said before he gave Fenris a pointed look and stopped speaking.
Fenris just looked down at his plate. His hair hid any expression that might be there. He just continued to eat. Pavus approached me. "Are you ready for this?"
"Ready for what?" I looked up at him then over to Varric who avoided my gaze. "A dinner invitation? I'm pretty sure I know how to eat and talk." A chuckle at my sarcasm erupted from Fenris who was still pretending we didn't exist as he chewed his cheese. Pavus and Varric exchanged an uncomfortable glance before they both looked at the silent slave across the table. The silence was palpable for a few long moments. Pavus finally sat down in the chair next to me and pulled my hand into his. "Yes of course. Let us write out the reply and send the messenger on his way before we discuss this further." He pulled pen and paper from his pockets and placed them in front of me.
"You say that but have never seen me write before." I grumbled as I picked up the slim writing implement. "I don't even know what to say. Thanks for the invite I'll be there?"
Varric scoffed and snatched the pen from me. I'll write it first then you can copy it. He began to scratch on the paper lost in his own thoughts.
"You don't know how to write?" the question was so soft I barley heard it. My face immediately burned in embarrassment as I remembered the stranger with the odd tattoos.
"I can." I could feel his intense stare as I looked down at my hands "I just am not very good at it. I put in enough practice to keep my mother off my back. I spent most of my free time with the guards. They put me through the paces once and I was hooked. I've spent every morning since I was 13 years old going through the same steps."
"I've never known a noble who liked training with swords and soldiers." There was apprehension in his voice. I looked up from the fingers I was working nervously together. There was a shine in his eyes I hadn't seen before. "I've always been an odd duck," The barest smile curved my lips up "Beth was the real Lady. She was always so kind, prim and proper." Sorrow choked me as I barley spit out the last two words. Her gorgeous smile flashed in my minds eye. I hadn't talked about her since the night I watched the light leave her eyes in the Deep Roads.
"Which is why I always called her Sunshine." Varric said just next to me as I felt his hand on my shoulder.
FENRIS
I watched silently as the enigma of a woman copied her response at least 4 times. The dwarf and mage chastised her as if she was an unruly child.
It's like I've fallen into a different world. She fed me and has answered all my questions. Not once have I been talked down to. I've been down right impudent and it's been ignored. I don't know how long I was lost in my own thoughts when a hand lightly touched my shoulder.
I looked up into the bluest eyes I've ever seen. "We're finished here. Time to send you back." Her voice was just above a whisper. The sadness that overwhelmed her earlier was still very apparent. It made me feel strange. She handed me the correspondence and bid me follow her.
She led me to the stables and greeted the stable boy with a pleasant smile. I stood by the door as I waited for her and watched as she disappeared into a stall and brought a horse towards me.
"I hate the thought of making you walk however far away Denarius' estate is so I wish to gift this horse to you." She spoke softly as she brushed and saddled the mare. She worked quickly. "I'm sure Denarius will enjoy this gift." I scoffed. She visibly flinched at the statement as if I struck her. With one final pull of the billet strap, she turned and stomped up to me. She brought the horse closer pulling the reigns gently. "Let me be very clear, I am giving this horse to YOU." She jabbed a finger into the breast of my armored chest. "I WILL check into the well being of this animal on my visit to the estate and Maker help Denarius if I find out that he either did not allow you to keep it or if any harm has come to it."
Pure confusion swam across my mind as I took a step back waiting to see what would happen next. All the bravado she just showed melted out of her. For a brief moment she looked angry and tired. "If you do not want the thing at least have it sent back." She sighed raising a hand to her forehead.
I was speechless. Never before had any person, let alone a noble, give me anything. She's even brushed and saddled this horse for me instead of making me or the stable boy do it. She speaks to me as if we are equals. What kind of game is she playing?
I reached down and took the reigns from her, daring to rub my fingers to hers for the briefest moment. "You did not have to do this for me." I told her. "I appreciate your compassion. I will take care of her. I promise."
The smile I received from her with my promise was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.
A few hours later, it was starting to get dark. I sat on my bed with my arms wrapped around my legs, chin sitting on my knees looking out the window. I hadn't been able to get Bethanny out of my head since I brought her up earlier that evening. I had been so upset about it that my curiosity over the invitation had been completely forgotten. After seeing Fenris off with my reply I came straight to my room and locked the door. I had instructed Sues to turn any visitors away and inform them I would speak to them in the morning.
No matter what I did, or what Varric said, I could not forgive myself for murdering my little sister. So, what if she had asked me to? I should have tried harder to save her against the blight. I could not stop the tears that rolled down my cheeks as I replayed our last conversation over and over in my mind.
"Take care of it won't you… sis?" she asked me as tears streamed down her face. Her voice was small and scared. "How can I kill my own sister?" I replied my gut churning in disgust at the thought. "Because she is asking you to. It's just you now. Take care of Mother." Her hand rubbed against my cheek.
The gasp she made as my blade pierced her heart haunted me. Sobs wracked me as I squeezed my legs tighter against myself.
There was a commotion outside the door but I was too preoccupied with my sorrow. My bedroom door burst open. I didn't care. I had fallen over in the bed still hugging my knees when someone climbed into the bed with me and scooped me up in their lap.
"I take off for a little over a week and come back to you a sobbing mess. The party couldn't have been that terrible, even if it was missing yours truly." As soon as I recognized Isabella's voice, I threw my arms around her and continued to sob in her shoulder. "I failed her. I couldn't save her and I couldn't take care of Mother like she asked. She's gone, I murdered her and then I failed her."
"That is ridiculous. She grabbed my wrists and pried me off of her. Once we were face to face, she grabbed my cheeks, one in each hand and brought my face to hers. "You are here now to avenge the death of your mother with the blood of the man responsible for the monster who killed her. Never think of yourself as a failure. She wouldn't if she were still with you and you know it." She kissed my forehead and abruptly stood. I am going to run you a bath, you are going to relax yourself and then we will sit here and catch up, gossiping like the hens we are."
I took a couple deep breaths and rubbed my eyes. Poor Sues was still standing in the doorway stammering apologies for letting Isabella in. "You've done fine." I reassured her, "She didn't get rough with you, did she?" "Heavens no ma'am she just dropped to a knee and picked the lock. She was so swift I didn't even know what was happening until she had already jumped into the bed with you."
I asked Sues for some more towels and then dismissed her for the night. My body felt warm and tingly from all the crying I had done. Isabella ushered me into the bathroom and told me she would return soon.
The warm water was so relaxing I had begun to doze off when I heard the bathroom door open. Shit! I need to cover my shame. Cursing myself I jumped out of the tub and scrambled for a towel. "Did you forget I was waiting on you love?" Isabella's voice rang with laughter.
"I'll be out in a minute! No need to check on me."
"I am only using this excuse to look at that gorgeous supple body of …." she stopped speaking mid-sentence as she looked at me. Her eyes instantly glued onto my thighs. The shock and surprise on her face made me shudder. I turned my back to my friend and wrapped a towel around my hips. "I'll be out once I've dressed." Once my legs were covered modesty didn't matter and I walked her out of the room. She was still silent in her shock and didn't put up a fight or ask any questions. Tonight, has been absolutely terrible. First my meltdown over Beth and now I have to explain this to Isabella. I took a few deep breaths and steeled my spine with confidence I didn't really feel and got dressed.
Just a few minutes later I finally had the courage to open the bathroom door. I barley recognized my room. Isabella had lit several candles and set up my card table in the center of the room. The incense she burned smelled like someone was baking vanilla cakes. There was a bottle of wine and two goblets on the table along with a deck of cards.
I sat in one chair and she sat in the other. She had also bathed and dressed down for bed. Her hair was down and the only jewelry she wore was her lip ring. I picked up the cards and began to shuffle them. "You know, you're allowed your own secrets." She started as she watched me fidget with the cards. "I won't pry. If you don't want to talk about it, we don't have to." I blew out a long sigh as I began to deal. "No, you've shared with me your troubles. The trials you faced with your mother and that lump of flesh you once called a husband. You will be the only person outside my siblings that has ever heard this story. I would really appreciate it if it stayed that way." She nodded as she uncorked the wine. Once she filled her cup she hovered the bottle over the other chalice, one eyebrow raised until I nodded agreement for a cup. I drank deep hoping to settle my nerves.
"Just outside Lothering is a small lake at the edge of the woods. Carver, Bethanny and I would play in the field or swim when the days got too hot. Mother would sometimes allow us into the woods to look for plants she needed. We were to always keep the lake in sight so we didn't get lost in the trees." I paused to rearrange my hand and laid down a card.
"One evening just a few weeks before my 12th birthday Carver and I had got into a silly argument about who was a superior fighter. We had sticks and were play fighting just inside the tree line. Bethany was our referee." Isabella laid two cards down and tapped the deck so I would draw a card. Instead, I picked up the two cards she removed from her hand and placed one of my own. The card I played ranked higher than the two I picked up so she had to draw another card.
"Neither of us was going to give up without having been beat down by the other. Carver was every bit as stubborn as I am. Before we had known it, we were much farther away from the lake than we should have been. Bethany got mad that we had mistakenly broken the rules and immediately went home leaving Carver and I to continue our battle of wills. Eventually we learned that we were not alone in that patch of woods as we began to hear chanting. Carver and I had been so loud, smashing our sticks together and talking trash to each other he and I were amazed that no one had stopped their talking or came to see what the noise was. Then we had the brilliant idea to creep up on the voices and see what was going on."
The game had turned as I found myself played into a corner picking up three more cards to add to my hand. "Of course, we found a gathering of blood mages performing their disgusting rituals. I can still hear the ripping of fabric as the head mage cut open his arms. In the middle of the circle, I recognized the miller's son Issac on his knees head bowed like he was praying. In a panic I sent Carver back to get the captain of the guard. Even I couldn't deny that I never once had been able to beat Carver in a foot race so I knew he would be there and back quickly. I wanted to make sure these blood mages didn't get away with their filth and I didn't know if Issac was a participant or a victim so I stayed and watched." I couldn't keep the tremor out of my voice as my emotions began to rise. I set the cards I had down and refilled my wine.
"Have you ever seen a Lust demon?" I asked her as I drained the alcohol. "I've heard of Desire demons," she admitted "but have never heard of a Lust demon." I nodded. "They are rare. They look like a Terror, a Rage demon and a Pride demon had a revolting baby together. I watched as Issac struck a deal and transformed. I never knew he had any magical talent but, if any one did outside the circle, they kept it secret anyway so it wasn't too surprising. As soon as the transformation was complete that thing sniffed the air. "I smell innocence." It said as it made its way to my hiding place." Tears had started to fall down my cheeks again as I stood and lifted my night skirt revealing the huge clawed hand print scars just above my knees. They were welted and red. "I can still smell my flesh burning during my worst nightmares as it dragged me back into the middle of the circle and pried my legs apart. Then that monstrous thing... it... did something unspeakable." I dropped my skirt and hugged myself. I felt so ashamed admitting what happened but not being able to speak the words.
"The guards did not believe Carver until I didn't arrive home that night. By then it was dark and no one had the nerve to go looking for Blood Mages in the dark. No one but Carver and Beth. They found me in a bloody mess unconscious where the circle had been. All traces of the demon and the mages gone. They took me home, cleaned me up and we told everyone that I had fallen off a cliff. The guards wrote off my brother's blood mage story as panic from a little boy who couldn't find his sister. My hair started turning white a few days later. One of the old women in the village told me once that only something traumatic could do this to a person."
I couldn't speak any more. I also couldn't look at Isabella without feeling disgusted with myself. All she did was refill my glass, bring it to me and wrapped an arm around my waist. She hugged me close until I finished that final cup. My head started to swim. Between all the crying and the alcohol, I was tired. I barley remember Isabella pulling my blankets over me and kissing my forehead as I fell asleep.