"Mum," James bolted upright, startling Ginny, almost bumping their heads together, "Dad did what!?" Hair flailing, reminiscent of another, eyes full of alarm, he reached out for Ginny as if to protect her from past heartache.
"James Sirius," with a warm but sad smile, Ginny took his hand and squeezed it, "did you want to hear the rest or not?" Pushing the covers back, Ginny started to tuck him back in, none of the pain in her heart showing in her movements. "Your father, in all the time that he drove me batty, was a complex boy and later man."
Returning to the Burrow in 1996 made the cold pit in Ginny's stomach solidify into a ball of lead, the comforts of Home paired with memories of brighter days. The first few weeks were tense, her temper short, her brothers confused as to why but her mother's inquiries sparking more fights than in years before. Ginny spent what time she could in the orchard, flying her only escape from her mother's many concerns. The arrival of Bill was a joyous occasion for her, marred by the appearance of his soon to be bride phlegm. Wedding preparations, security changes, cleaning the same spots day after day, shifting sleeping arrangements… it all conspired to make Ginny snap, or so she would say afterwards.
"I," Ginny paused, running a hand through her fiery hair, "would like to say that I was not myself early that summer. It would not be true, nor would it be fair to your aunt. The snide comments we traded… I was jealous."
James blinked owlishly at her, "Jealous, Mum?"
Ginny let out a sardonic laugh at his confusion, "Yes James, jealous. After all, if I could not have the boy I loved, why should the perfect Veela Fleur have her glorious wedding day? It was spiteful, but I was hurting."
Things with Fleur came to a head the day before Harry was brought to the Burrow, not that she knew that at the time. Sure, she was not allowed to do magic outside of school, but there were other tools at her disposal. Some borrowed items from the twins, some careful planning, and eventually some thrown fists, Ginny tried to get her point across with Fleur. To think afterwards, turning Fleur's hair different colors was fine, changing her into various animals was fine, messing with the color palette of her outfits was infuriating but fine… what the final straw turned out to be was slapping Fleur after one too many comments about 'Ginny's 'orrible freckles.' She had gotten over her confidence issues because of them, Ginny didn't need some French tart belittling her just because she felt like it. Her mother was furious of course, but Ginny forgot to factor in how Bill would react, how little he would be willing to spend time in her presence afterwards. Ginny's favorite brother, her confidant from the time she could talk, and he wanted nothing to do with her. She spent the rest of the summer making it up to him as he would let her, although her attitude towards his soon to be bride did not change much.
Entering the kitchen the next morning to find Harry, the other source of hurt in her life, pushed Ginny over an edge that she was unaware of. Feigning indifference was hard, but a guttural response to his proximity. Feeling his eyes on her most of the time did not help, nor did feeling Ginny's own eyes drawn to him when he wasn't watching her. That dark hair had a magnetic pull on her hands, those eyes still made her weak in the knees… Ginny was lost almost without any hope. That he disappeared with Ron and Hermione to plan a trip they thought no one knew about made things awkward with Mum. His seventeenth birthday arrived, and Ginny made what many would label as a mistake, yet she viewed it as necessary. Kissing Him, brought her back to those sunlit days at Hogwarts, back to the carefree times by the lake without stress or worry. This, Ginny finally knew, was Love. This, Ginny knew, was why the sequence of events hurt so much. The silver lining of them becoming a couple was surrounded by dark events, escalating from the attack on the Department of Mysteries to full blown war in the year to follow. No longer would they be able to pretend the darkness was not there, even if it was more pleasant to focus on each other. After what felt like several hours, Ginny broke the kiss off, heart buoyed by the look of longing on Harry's face. Lost in each other's eyes, they both were startled when Ron barged into the room. It was easier than she thought to hold back tears while listening to her brother tear into the boy she loved, telling him not to 'mess her around,' frustrated with both of them but thankful that Ron cared. For the rest of the day, the two of them seemed to trade glances, never looking at the same time but unable to avoid looking at one another.
The day of Bill and Fleur's wedding dawned, bringing some light back into the darkness growing around them. After promising her mother that she would behave, Ginny fought the sense of melancholy that gnawed at her stomach, she just knew something was going to happen. In retrospect, she was both right and wrong. Some things happened, some Ginny wished had not, and one admittedly stupid thing that she did not regret. Keeping aunt Muriel occupied, doing her best to ignore the twisted barbs from the bitter matriarch, kept her busy throughout most of the afternoon. That morning saw the entire Weasley clan, plus their adopted members, running around the Burrow like they had Firebolts stuck to their feet. Last minute adjustments to decorations, balancing mood swings from the wedding party, double checking security measures for the umpteenth time, it was all enough to make Ginny barmy. The ceremony itself was beautiful, even if she would do her utmost to ensure hers was less… ostentatious.
Kingsley's patronus ended the festivities and caused the ache in Ginny's heart to pulse, echoed as it was in her core. Reeling around, she only just caught a glimpse of the golden trio vanishing together, and Ginny's heart plummeted to her stomach. Death Eaters, paired with Ministry employees quickly started apparating in, and chaos ensued. Curses flying, children screaming, and more than one Unforgivable being cast at her - little Ginny Weasley - war had come to the Burrow.
"I hope that you never have to face them," Ginny shuddered, "I was lucky, unlike some." Running her hands through her hair, she started to braid a few strands together, "None were killed that day, but many… many were made to suffer for it."
James watched as a distant look came over Ginny's face, her hands following practiced movements absent mindedly. "Things did get better though, right Mum?" The young boy reached out once again towards his mother, "You haven't said what the stupid thing you did was yet either - and Uncle Ron is always saying it was something special."
Ginny let out a weak laugh, a pair of rogue tears escaping her self control, "Things did eventually get better, yes, although not without a price. Uncle Ron isn't wrong, what I did was in fact something special, even if it was very stupid." Focusing back on James, Ginny felt an overwhelming sense of love for the boy in front of her. "I might tell you when you're a bit older, but for now… just know I wouldn't change it for the world, even if I'd change other things in it."
"Muuuum, how am I supposed to learn from your mistakes if I don't know what they are?"
"Maybe by listening to what I'm telling you, did you want me to continue or not?"
With a huff, James Sirius resettled himself, crossing his arms on his chest and nodded at his mother.
With the fall of the Ministry, things changed rapidly in the wizarding world. So called blood purity tests, bloodline checks, and rampant abuse of anyone even suspected to not be of pure blood became the norm in weeks. The decree making Hogwarts attendance mandatory was not much of a surprise either, although it left a cloud of uncertainty as to the safety of students under the new regime. Further complicating the issue was Ginny's known ties to the Undesirable No.1, the boy who must die himself, Harry James Potter. A few heated rows with her parents leading up to September 1st, and Ginny found herself almost enthusiastic to leave the Burrow, or more importantly to escape the torrent of emotions brought up under her mother's disappointed gaze. Her visible concern, the worry about everyone they care about, Ginny's safety in school, what if something happens; will they know, who can they ask for help, what if they are too late? What if, what if the worst happens, what then?
The train to Hogwarts was almost a relief, almost a return to some semblance of normalcy, to sit with Neville, Luna, and catch up on things that were not centered on the darkness in their lives. If His name came up, it was with careful deliberation, as if the walls around them had ears, or Tom himself would descend from on high to torture them for information. Some classes resembled years before, with subjects like Charms or Transfiguration being led with the usual styles, if more grim than before. All of Gryffindor was ready to rebel that first night, over the change to Dark Arts, as if they could be forced to endure let alone inflict those curses on their fellow students… It took several hours for Neville's calming influence to affect those around him, and more than one year of students only agreed when Ginny's deviousness learned from the twins started to show the beginnings of a plan. Dumbledore may be gone, but his Army would stay strong, if only for the good of the younger students. A Rebellion, Ginny proposed, that would be fought not with spells, for those could go awry or lead to retribution they could not predict, but with almost single minded focus on what the regime sought to deny them; their education in a relatively safe corner of their world. Away from the Carrows, away from their Slytherin lackeys like Malfoy or Parkinson, Gryffindor would help encourage the rest to focus on what mattered, while also letting them forget what troubles they could. It would start with minor pranks, mishaps that could be blamed on the school's inherent magicks, staircases turning in the wrong direction from where Alecto was heading in a hurry… dungbombs appearing almost under Amycus's nose, yet no student was noticeable nearby, conveniently hidden behind a tapestry. If Snape suspected a Weasley touch to these incidents, he said nothing in a public setting, other than to tell the students as a whole that perpetrators would be punished harshly when caught. Tensions in the school were high, but the promise of upcoming trips to Hogsmeade and games for the Quidditch Cup were helping keep things at a low simmer. Ginny tried to be optimistic, to while away some afternoons chatting with Luna and her other fellow 6th years, but shadows of the War crept in daily. The Prophet brought propaganda, letters from home and others bare of details, formulaic in their appearance.
Ginny didn't think much of it at first, but something was off that first week of lessons. Not in the students, or the professors, or even with the lessons themselves. Something was off with her, with the way her moods seemed to ebb and flow more than usual. One morning she couldn't stand even the scent of plain toast, but by lunchtime she was fine, and eating almost as much as Ron would have had he been there. For about a week this carried on, until she spent an hour before breakfast one morning with her stomach in knots, retching at the slightest provocation. A worrying thought wriggled its way into her head, and Ginny's already unsteady stomach seized, she couldn't be…? Could she?
If there was one thing that made Ginny Weasley feel smaller than anything she had ever seen, it was the look on McGonagall's face when she was called to the Hospital Wing during breakfast that morning. Convincing Madam Pomphrey to not floo her parents hadn't been easy, and it was only when she conveyed just how dire things would become if certain parties learnt just who was responsible for her condition that the Matron yielded to her arguments - if McGonagall agreed. To say she was furious might have been an understatement, and her disappointment seemed to radiate off of her. Ginny defiantly refused to do anything short of meet her gaze, calmly laying out the reasons behind her presence in the Hospital Wing, and the reasons why it was necessary to hide the real reason.
"Little did I know she would only wait until the next Order meeting," Ginny removed the half braid in her hair, before restarting another. "It made me more than a little grateful for the restrictions on the post at the time, after all I'm certain I would have received a howler for the ages."
"What was the real reason, Mum?" James asked, confusion evident in the crinkling of his brow, "what could have made them so angry with you?"
With a nervous laugh, Ginny gave up on braiding her hair, and placed her hands in her lap, "the best thing that ever happened to me, You happened."
Confusion turned to wonder, and quickly back to confusion in the boy's eyes. "I thought you said the best thing to happen to you was Dad, and why were they mad?"
"It turns out that getting myself pregnant at the age of sixteen was not something they wanted, let alone during the War, not to mention who the father was. I argued fiercely with my mother, by proxy at first, then later in Hogsmeade, about what to do. She of course wanted to pull me from school immediately, almost didn't listen to how foolish that would have been, how much it would have risked. Ron, supposedly sick, would have been exposed as the Ghoul. Myself, suddenly ill, well questions would have been asked and not allowed to go unanswered. There is no telling just how hard the Ministry, and their Death Eater leaders, would have come down on our family, but I do know what your father would have done in response. Something incredibly stupid, although undeniably brave." Another rogue tear carved a path down her cheek, Ginny too lost in memory to notice, "His habit of rushing headfirst into danger to save someone he cared about, without much of a plan if any, was legendary."
Things changed again after that, no longer could Ginny afford to be in the center of her little Rebellion, not when one mistake could end a life that she cherished so dearly. To protect herself, her as yet undiscovered child, and Harry, she was forced to tell no one. It was a small sacrifice, not that it stopped Luna from figuring out why she was suddenly less keen on acting on her plans. Dark Arts became increasingly difficult, as she could not risk being hit by the darker curses, and whispers from older students shared tales of Unforgivables in their future. Ginny was running out of time, one way or another she would have to leave Hogwarts.
As Term progressed, Ginny's symptoms varied a bit, much to her annoyance. Some days were better than others, and more than one weekend was spent hiding in either the Room of Requirement or the Hospital Wing. Halloween came and went without much fanfare, aside from Luna and Neville almost getting caught trying to steal the sword of Gryffindor. They were able to get away without being caught out of the Tower, but not without Ginny getting caught by the greasy haired git himself. The interrogation was tense, but Snape only threatened Veritaserum, seemingly preferring to promise torture at a later date if she did not give up her accomplices. His gaze sharpened, leaving Ginny with the impression that he could see right through her, and Snape's tone became more derisive. To Ginny's horror, the last words out of his mouth before he let her leave the headmasters' office were to congratulate her on her colossal mistake, and to remind her just how little time she had left to hide it. Instead of returning immediately to Gryffindor tower, Ginny ran to see McGonagall, plans needed to change quickly.
McGonagall wasted little time and sent a patronus off to her parents. In a few hours, Ginny was brought her belongings by house elves, and shortly after midnight secreted out of the school.