To sleep, perchance to dream
Jack O'Neill was a ramy kid, or so his mother told him. He never wanted to go to bed and was always up before everyone else. This changed in his teenage years when he could easily sleep til noon and, of course, was still a night owl. Young adulthood and the military soon cured him of that. However . favored a man who could sleep when given the opportunity and also function effectively for days on end with little sleep.
Then there was Iraq, after which if he managed to sleep at all, the prison invaded his dreams. Time and family, and some therapy he'd never admit to, helped somewhat with that.
And there were a few good, very good years - wife, child, family, home, career.
Then the accident - if he could only sleep and never wake again. But the echoing sound of the shot and his son's blood on his hands bolted him awake from what little sleep he got. He was West's walking zombie surviving on nicotine, alcohol and caffeine. But West gave him a mission, a goal. So he worked until exhausted and then had enough sleep to function.
When he got back he still spent many a night tossing and turning, thoughts of those he left behind. He believed them, Daniel and Skaara, safe. The stars revived him. He built his aerie, a platform for a good amateur telescope linked to a laptop. He could look out to the stars, the vastness of space and all the possibilities it held and he could dream.
Hammond and a new mission gave him a spark of life. And a scientist, of all things, beautiful and leggy and blond and so much more, gave him hope for a future which he wasn't sure he deserved.
103
Carter was sharing quarters in the women's area. They did check in with her. She was lovely - the cleavage, that dress blue like her eyes. It would be fuel for endless fantasies. She tried so hard to be one of the guys and they left her to be dressed up like a prize and used as one. Meanwhile they caroused with the warriors of the tribe, eating and drinking until they all crashed for the night.
He slept while she was taken and auctioned off.
There would be a learning curve for these off world missions but he hoped never again at the expense of his team. Until the next time.
118
It was cold, so damn cold, he was afraid to fall asleep, afraid to close his eyes. Afraid if he did he'd never wake up again. And no, he didn't want to die but that wasn't it. He didn't want her to die. Didn't want a waste of the life of that young brilliant Captain. If he could manage to hold on a bit, maybe longer he could help her survive. And then he could sleep.
309
Watching the boys, all the young soldiers 18, 19, 20 - cannon fodder. So willing to slaughter one another. SG-11 tortured and dead. It all brought it all back his tour in Nam, his captured and torture in Iraq. So much blood - so much death.
He refused to think about it during the day so it invaded his dreams.
317
Lonely nights on Laira's floor he dreamed of home, he dreamed of her. During the day he gradually came to the realization he had to face reality. He was never going home. He'd never see Sam again, never.
318
Trouble sleeping - this took the cake. Jack kept waiting for the NID to show up at his door, attempting to catch him off guard. He found the bugs in his house and left them all in place, so he had to watch every word he said. He guessed he'd find out if he talked in his sleep.
It was torture when Daniel showed up. It would have been much worse if it were Carter. Hadn't he been cruel enough to her. It worked. They certainly reacted as if he had gone off the deep end. The look of disappointment and disillusionment in Daniel and Carter haunted his waking and sleeping. He didn't have time for that, he had a mission. And the sooner it was over he could return to his life and the happier he'd be. That's of course if there was a life, a team, friends to return to.
403
When the arm bands fell off each of them had passed out. With Teal'c's help they managed to get home and through the infirmary check and the debrief. He was exhausted. He got home and had a decent meal, then yawned so hard he thought he dislocated his jaw. He drifted off with a beer in hand and a game on the TV. A loud commercial roused him. He meandered to his bedroom, flopped onto the bed and slept for 12 hours straight. When he finally woke, only one thought assailed his mind, one vision was imprinted in his memory. He could see her on the other side of the force shield. He had to go to the base to see her, to touch her. To know she was here and safe, so he could breathe again.
410
After coming home his dreams were flooded with memories of his nights with Thera. He almost couldn't face her the next day. He wondered if she was having dreams of Jonah.
503
He was jealous of the mystery man. Unfortunately it fueled his dreams of her with the swarmy Martouf and his dumb assed hat, the swarmier Narim and his advanced tech, and the glowy mystery man.
He woke up angry. He could never compete.
519
The return of those creeping clacking mechanical bugs invaded his sleep. He'd wake to the feeling something was crawling on him.
606
The short time he had to sleep, or was it waking fears, he dreamed of her. Did you sleep in the sarcophagus? Did you dream there?
He couldn't let Ba'al know.
Couldn't let Ba'al know about Kanan and Shyla.
And he sure as hell couldn't let Ba'al know how he felt about Carter.
Kanan was not fully aware it was love. Jack knew.
722
She stood in front of him, her hand reaching out to him encased in the stasis chamber. He has no control over his body and little control over his mind. He tries to reach out with his mind.
"I'm here, it's alright."
He didn't want her to grieve.
A mind swirling with thoughts and memories, the past and the future, a myriad of worlds, civilization rising and falling and rising from the ashes.
And they have left him here alone.
He dreams of so many things. And he dreams of her.