Author's Note - Another one I've had sitting half-finished for ages and finally managed to finish. Enjoy.
He stared at the keys in his hand, the small pieces of metal that represented something so much more than anyone could understand.
"I'm sorry," he looked up when he realised the woman beside him was speaking, "What did you say?"
The blonde woman gave him a smile, "I asked if there was anything else you needed, Dr Jackson."
"No," Daniel shook his head vigorously trying to cover his little lapse in manners, "I'll be fine. Thank you for your help, Mrs Little."
She gave him another smile, "Then I will leave you to settle in."
Daniel watched her walk along the corridor and waited until she had disappeared in the elevator before he turned back to the door. Sliding the key into the lock he let the door swing open and stalled.
He stood staring into the open door, not able to cross the threshold because then he would be admitting it, admitting that he couldn't go home. He'd told them to bury the Gate again for a year, which equated to a year and a half here on Earth.
Going back to Abydos was not going to happen any time soon and his wife, his amazing wonderful, brilliant wife, was missing.
He was alone again.
x
Daniel jumped when the phone in his pocket rang suddenly.
"Hi, Jack," he forced the despair he was feeling out of his voice to talk to his 'commanding officer', "I thought you were going to a football game with your cousin?"
"I am," Jack replied with a chuckle, "Just waiting for Joe to park which means I have about an hour to talk."
Daniel smiled despite himself, "Why are you calling?"
"I thought I'd make sure you were getting some fresh air during our time off," Jack told him, "Because I don't want to get back and find you didn't leave the base for seventy-two hours."
"I'm out of the base, Jack," Daniel told him, "I promise. I'm…" he hesitated before lying, "Heading to look at the bookshop I found a few weeks ago."
"Good," Jack replied, "That's good, Daniel."
Daniel bit his lip at the concern in the other man's voice.
"You're allowed to relax," Jack reminded him, "You can't keep going on all cylinders indefinitely, you'll burn yourself out."
"I know," Daniel said softly.
"I have to go," Jack told him, "Joe finally managed to park. I'll be back on Monday sometime during the day, so no wild parties."
Daniel smiled slightly, "Enjoy your weekend with your family, Jack. I'll see you when you get back."
Hanging up the phone, Daniel took a deep breath and stepped inside, closing the door behind him.
x
The apartment wasn't big, it wasn't like Daniel expected to spend much time here, but it was furnished, and it was close to the base.
He knew he needed to get out of Jack's spare room, as grateful as he was that Jack had let him stay. Daniel needed his own space and if he found, no, when, when he found Sha're they would need a place to stay until they could return to Abydos.
There was a living room, kitchen, a main bedroom, spare bedroom, bathroom and two cupboards which was more than enough for him. He'd been sharing a tent about the size of the main bedroom for the past year very happily, not to mention his previous apartments had all been basically boxes.
He'd known for a while he had to leave Jack's spare room, mentioned it once or twice but never did anything because Daniel needed the small comfort staying with Jack gave him. However, after the whole turning into a Neanderthal debacle, Daniel knew he had to take the step. The problem was he didn't want to leave Jack's because it was admitting he would be staying on Earth.
Jack wasn't much help either.
Anytime he made noise about leaving, Jack would just say Daniel could stay as long as he needed to.
x
The bedroom had a double bed in the middle of the room; a duvet was sitting rolled up in the middle of it with four pillows beside it. There was some bedding which Daniel quickly moved out of the way since he knew it would cause an allergic reaction, something he hadn't had to worry about on Abydos. He'd bought and washed some bedding to bring with him which was downstairs in his recently purchased car along with everything else he currently owned, which wasn't much, and knew he'd have to start bringing everything up.
His phone rang again, postponing that for a few more moments, he sighed when he saw who was calling before, once again, forcing a smile into his voice.
"Hi, Sam," he greeted the woman on the other end.
"Hey, I stopped off at the Colonel's to see if you wanted to have lunch," she said, "Just wanted to…"
The hesitation made him grimace slightly, but he didn't call her on it, instead he replied, "I was out."
"I guessed that," Sam chuckled.
Daniel winced before lying, "There are some bookshops I wanted to check out."
"Well, I'm going to a friend's engagement party tonight," Sam told him, "So I'll see you on Monday?"
"Have fun," Daniel told her, before he hung up.
With a sigh, he headed to bring his belongings up so he could settle in properly.
x
Daniel knew he could have asked the other three members of his team to help him, but he didn't want to.
He needed to do this himself.
Honestly Daniel knew it was because until recently he'd had no one who would help him and he didn't feel comfortable asking for help. Besides with what little he owned, it didn't take him that long to get everything out the car and into the apartment, so soon Daniel was moved into a new apartment.
He hated it.
Taking a breath, he made the final touch and placed the photograph of Sha're that Ferretti had found for him from the original mission at his bedside. She was smiling, Daniel remembered it was because he'd told her that she was too perfect for him.
And she was.
Sha're was kind, generous, brilliant and for some bizarre reason loved him.
Daniel knew he didn't deserve her love, because she was an angel, and he was just him.
Sha're was generous with everyone but with him she shared everything.
She had been fearful of sharing a bed with him at first, knowing she was meant to give her body to her husband, stories from her friends who were married had scared her but, after Daniel assured her that he expected nothing, Sha're relaxed. They took things as slow as she needed them to, and Daniel loved that they spent time getting to know one another properly before she was comfortable enough for their relationship to become fully physical.
Daniel hated waking up alone, after a full year of waking to the feel of his wife cuddled close most mornings. Even before they started having sex, Sha're liked sleeping in his arms and Daniel loved it too. He'd been alone for so much of his life and, being alone again, her absence hurt. He didn't sleep much anymore because he felt her loss so keenly in the middle of the night and first thing in the morning.
Shaking himself Daniel fixed the picture again, reminding himself that moving into the apartment was so that when he found Sha're then they had somewhere to stay until they were able to go back to Abydos.
He could do this; he could survive until he found his reason for living once more.