Disclaimer: I own nothing other than my mind

Collection of fictlets of my male half-elf barbarian/monk Dark Urge and Astarion's slow-burn romance.

Act 2 Spoilers Ahead

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Tav sat on an overly large gnarled root that was pockmarked with bulbous clusters of holes, that reminded him of a distorted wasp nest, near the dilapidated stonework gate near the middle of their camp. One of his legs dangled as he kept watch over the camp, his eyes roaming over the peaceful tents, flickering torches and campfire, the vibrant blood-red foliage, and the surrounding environment. It was past midnight at this point, and weariness tightened the muscles of his neck and shoulders. Some days he wished he was a full elf since they didn't need to sleep, they only needed a handful of hours to trance, to recover each night.

Tav searched his memories fruitlessly, trying to find some stray strand of his past. He only had foggy memories of Baldur's Gate and events surrounding his past. Shadowheart must have a massive amount of faith in Shar, to allow her memories to be tampered with. Tav had a hard time getting his mind around the idea of willfully allowing your memories to be sealed away. Shaking his head at the thought, he pulled his other leg up to rest his elbow on his knee, the other leg swinging lazily as he worried at his thumbnail with his teeth.

"Come now darling, no need to ruin your nails like that. If you need something to bite, all you have to do is ask," Astarion said as he approached from his tent close by the center of camp. "Karlach is almost ready to take over the watch, and I've come to spirit you away from your turmoil and back to your tent," he said in a very clearly faked hero voice, then continued after Tav hopped down effortlessly from the root, "You're not as good as the sun, but your warmth is a decent replacement. Plus someone has to keep an eye on you in case, you know, you go all murderous, again."

"You tied me up one time because of that, and now you'll forever hold it over my head, won't you," Tav asked, exasperated at the other man.

"Oh, absolutely, darling. You almost killed me," Astarion spoke feigning incredulity, hand to his chest.

"I did not! I held it together...mostly," Tav said sheepishly. Thinking too much of that night, caused bile to roil in Tav's stomach so he often pushed it away as fast as he could. Tonight wasn't much different and he blinked rapidly and breathed in through his nose and out through his mouth, counting to ten in his head. Once the nausea passed he stretched his neck to the sides, his bones cracking in the quiet of the night.

Tav saw that Astarion kept an eye on him out of the corner of his ruby eyes as they walked to the secluded spot Tav picked for his tent. He found he felt more comfortable keeping his tent at a distance from his friends and companions. They thankfully understood, after a brief explanation of his dark urges, why he preferred to keep his sleeping arrangement more separated. Tav was sure Astarion had told them more, but he didn't mind, Astarion had a way with words that Tav never could master. Their tadpoles had probably given his mental status away long ago. So there was no real reason to hide that there was a battle raging inside of him daily.

Tav found that even just that small separation helped his psyche, and allowed him to find a semblance of peace through daily meditation and training. Astarion occasionally quipped something sarcastic about the regime, but Tav knew he was relieved that something was helping to control the darkness inside. Tav found himself reading anything and everything he could about self-discipline and found many tomes mentioned monks and their methods.

Astarion's hand brushed against Tav's breaking through the half-elf's thoughts as they neared Tav's tent. Tav smiled, as the pale elf entwined their fingers and pulled them to a stop right at the entrance. Tav raised an eyebrow quizzically but patiently waited for the elf to gather his thoughts and speak what was on his mind.

Astarion stared down at their linked hands, one pale as moonlight, the other sun-kissed with a light scattering of freckles and scars across the knuckles. "Thank you, my dear. For your patience and understanding. I-" and Astarion found himself hesitating, unsure if he should continue. Tav squeezed his hand softly encouraging him onward. "I know it hasn't been easy. Dealing with not only your own issues, but mine as well and-" and he looked up at Tav, his sanguine eyes wide and earnest, the faint moonlight sparkling in their depths, "I don't know if I'll ever fully recover from what Cazador did to me, but with you, I feel like what I want matters...and...that's something I haven't felt in so long. So, thank you."

Tav stepped close, pulling Astarion into a wordless hug, almost pulling the pale elf off of his feet in the process. He felt Astarion's arms wrap around him tightly, hands balling up the fabric as the elf clung to him. Tav buried his face in Astarion's hair, the ever-present smell of rosemary and bergamot filled his senses. Tav wasn't sure how long they stood there in the quiet and oppressive darkness, holding to one another like drowning men holding onto lifelines.

Eventually, Astarion mumbled into Tav's shoulder, "It's late and you need sleep."

Tav exhaled softly before he pulled away, giving Astarion a tired smile, allowing himself to be led into the tent. Astarion pushed him to sit, lighting the small lantern that hung from the center of the tent, then settled in behind the larger man and began wordlessly massaging the tight muscles of Tav's shoulders. Tav's eyes slid closed, basking in the glorious feeling of Astarion's hands on his body, teasing out knotted muscles with dextrous fingers. Astarion's fingers moved upwards to the tense muscles of Tav's neck, occasionally his fingers slid into Tav's hair, and even through his haze of sleepiness, he felt his need rouse, pulling him back from the edge of sleep. A shiver of desire tingled down Tav's spine and he turned just enough to be able to see Astarion clearly, "Any more of that and I'll either be asleep or incredibly aroused."

Astarion's eyebrows shot up, a smirk playing along his lips, "Good to know I can elicit that much of a response out of you."

Tav chuckled deep in his chest, feeling his heartbeat pick up at the look Astarion was giving him. "Come here, you rogue," Tav growled affectionately, turning to pull a laughing Astarion into his lap, wrapping his muscular arms around the smaller man's waist, holding him close as he stared up into Astarion's crimson eyes. "Gods, you're beautiful," Tav murmured, before baring his neck to the vampire spawn, "It's been a few days." The previous bite scars on his neck barely stood out as white blemishes on the otherwise tanned skin.

Astarion stared down at the man underneath him as he touched the faint bite marks. He knew Tav's body was practically littered with scars, but these were personal and intimate, and yet the barbarian never shied away from displaying them, "I'm fine, my sweet. It would be best if you had your sleep. Being cursed with human blood does seem to have its drawbacks."

"Astarion," Tav drawled, his voice startlingly serious as he looked back at the vampire spawn, "Bite me."

Astarion recoiled slightly at the command in the half-elf's voice. His mind brought back the memory of a week ago when Tav had almost long control of himself in the darkened woods near the Last Light Inn. Part of him was instantly aroused, the other part of him disgusted at his reaction. His face must have betrayed him for Tav pulled away, his hands dropping from Astarion's waist, a guilty look on his face, "Shit, I'm sorry. That came out wrong. I just want you to kn-" he said in a rush but was stopped by a cool finger pressed to his lips.

"No. Do not apologize for that," Astarion said softly his voice but his face severe with anger, "I liked it, and...part of me felt disgusted at myself that I liked it, that's the problem. I still have to battle against what Cazador put me through. Even now, when I most want to show you just how much I want you." He ground out the last few words between clenched teeth.

"I promised you I'd be more careful and I'm already failing," Tav said softly, dropping his gaze to the side.

"You've done nothing wrong, love. I-I just get so frustrated with myself." Astarion turned Tav's face back to capture his eyes, "I am not so fragile, that one small step backward will send me tumbling back down into the grave."

Tav's eyebrows crumpled together as he searched those red eyes. Astarion was being completely sincere, his face open, vulnerable, and honest. "Okay. Then," and taking a deep breath as he paused, watching Astarion's face carefully, "'Star, please, would you..."

Astarion leaned down capturing Tav's lips with his. His hands framed Tav's face, as his tongue flicked out and caressed the other man's lower lip, asking for entry. Tav obliged willingly, a groan coming unbidden from his throat. His control was only so good. Astarion could hear the pounding of Tav's heart and could feel the thud of it against his fingertips. He allowed himself to just enjoy the feeling of the other man, the warmth of him, letting all of his conflicting emotions wash over him.

Astarion trailed kisses down Tav's neck, kissing the tender flesh right below where his jaw and ear met. "You can have all of me, Astarion. I'm yours. For as long as you'll have me," Tav whispered, his voice thick with emotion. Astarion shivered at the thought of Tav giving everything to him, to freely have something just for him, without anyone being able to take that away. Astarion knew he would destroy anything that tried.

"You're all mine," Astarion said before he bit down on Tav's neck, feeling the hot blood gush into his mouth, coating his tongue. Tav's blood was a divine bouquet and Astarion had a difficult time stomaching any other blood because of it.

Tav gasped loudly, his breath hitching in his throat as he slid a hand into Astarion's hair, nails gently scratching against the other man's scalp. Pleasure rolled through Astarion, mixing with the heady scent of Tav's blood.

Tav's heart slammed in his chest, like a stampede of oxen, and he couldn't help the ragged breaths that escaped through his parted lips. When Astarion bit him it always started the same; icy daggers slicing into his skin and pain, then Astarion's mouth, warm with his own blood. The pain would recede into the background as pleasure would wash through him.

Astarion was careful to only drink enough to take the edge off of the gnawing hunger in the pit of his stomach. He never wanted to drain the half-elf to the edge of death, ever again. Tav's blood melted into his system, and he reveled in the feeling, of Tav's blood warming his body from ear tips to toes.

All too soon Astarion forced himself to pull away, wiping the blood that dribbled onto his chin with a thumb and sucking it clean. His face was flushed and hot from the infusion into his system. He gently pressed two fingers to the bite marks, putting just enough pressure to staunch the bleeding. Tav had leaned back at some point during Astarion's preoccupation and was propped up on his palms, head thrown back, sweat beaded on his exposed skin, making his skin glitter like oiled bronze in the lantern light. Tav was breathing slowly and methodically in an attempt to reign in control of himself.

Astarion could feel Tav's arousal pressing against his ass, and realized through his blood-drunk haze, that he was completely aroused as well. Blinking, he took in a deep breath and examined himself internally. Yes, the self-disgust was still there, but it was fainter than any other time in the past 200 years. He would have to examine the feeling further when his mind was less distracted. The pale elf knew that the warmth spreading through his chest wasn't only because of the blood of the half-elf who was now, fully reclined back, one arm thrown over his eyes, on the bedroll underneath them.

"Darling, will you survive?" Astarion asked as he crawled forward on his hands and knees to put himself level with Tav's covered face.

Tav hummed a quiet affirmative, the rumble deep in his chest, but he didn't move his arm. "You know...I never asked. Were you the only spawn of Cazador's?"

Astarion clicked his tongue and sat down at Tav's side. His thin fingers picked at a stray seam in his pants leg that he would have to fix later. "No. There were seven of us in total." His red eyes wandered the tent as guilt and pity crept into his throat, making it almost difficult to speak. "Ahem, Cazador called us family...called them my brothers and sisters. Even while he carved into our flesh and tortured us."

Tav moved his arm and sat up with a regretful expression on his face, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked."

"No. I-I don't mind. It's painful to think about, but talking with you about it all, helps ease the knot in my chest," Astarion reached out and touched Tav's hand and Tav responded by intertwining their fingers. "One time Cazador told me the reason why he always gave me, one of his first spawn, such special attention," he scoffed lightly, the anger plain in his voice, "He said, I have the sweetest screams."

Tav's jaw clenched as he tried to reign in his anger at Astarion's master. He took in a shaky breath before he spoke doing his best to keep his voice controlled, "We will tear him down piece by piece, 'Star. He will be begging for mercy by the end, and you won't ever have to bow to him again."

Astarion's face broke out into a vicious grin as his red eyes shone in the soft light of the lantern above, "Keep talking like that and I'll have a hard time keeping my hands off of you."

Tav growled and pulled Astarion into a fierce kiss, and their tongues battled for dominance. Tav threaded his fingers into Astarion's curls and broke the kiss, trailing them down the pale elf's neck, "Hells. Astarion, you deserve so much more than I can ever give you. But I'll never give up trying. I'll never stop telling you how beautiful you are. How much you deserve to be happy." His fury and pent-up sexual need slowly fizzled as he cupped Astarion's face in both hands and forced himself to kiss the vampire spawn gently.

Astarion wanted more. He wanted to rip Tav's clothes off and consume every inch of his body, but he held back. He couldn't cross that line, not yet. Tav's words swirled in his mind and the 'you deserve to be happy' sat at the forefront of his thoughts as Tav pulled away, his thumb caressing Astarion's pale cheek.

"Take it to heart, my love. You are more than what Cazador made you. I'll spend the rest of my life, however long that may be, reminding you."

Astarion swallowed, emotions roiling in him, as he bit his lip uncertainly, but he gave Tav a soft smile in response, "You are foolish, my dear. Now, tell me I'm beautiful a few more times before you fall asleep."

Tav chuckled and pulled Astarion close, brushed a stray silver lock off of Astarion's forehead, and kissed the vampire spawn there, "You're right. I am foolish, but I'm your fool, you beautiful scoundrel."

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Tav fell through emptiness, his mind spiraled as his vision was filled with the haze of red he had become so familiar with since waking up on that beach so many moons ago. He could smell the blood around him, thick and pungent. Could feel it press against his body, seeping into every pore. Any opening he gave, the blood took relentlessly. He opened his mouth to scream; rage, fear, and anxiety welling up from his lungs, harsh and ragged, he could feel his throat tearing, pain blossoming deep within. Yet, no sound came, only a flood of blood. There was so much of it. There was no sense of up or down, no light to be found. Red, cloying, and sticky blood was the only thing around him.

Pain.

Fear.

Rage.

He clawed his way in any direction he could, sputtering and coughing the blood from his mouth, his throat, and his lungs.

Pain.

Fear.

Desperation.

His fingers latched onto something cold and smooth and fought his way towards it, dragging his broken body through the sludge of red. He could feel the cold smoothness encircle him as he shuddered, sobbing. It felt like safety, finally, after an eternity of pain, torment, and fear. Slowly he felt the coldness soften against him. He could feel the brush of it against his blood-slicked hair, a comforting hum coming from somewhere outside of himself, resounding through his body.

He wasn't sure how long he stayed that way, slowly coming back to consciousness, realizing that Astarion had wrapped himself around his body, as the nightmare took him. Blinking his eyes open, at first all he could see was darkness until his eyes adjusted to the dim interior of his tent. His cheek was pressed to Astarion's chest, the faint scratch of the cotton catching on his stubble.

"I've got you, my love. Are you back with me now?" Astarion whispered against the top of Tav's hair. His voice was impossibly gentle, but Tav could hear the faint undercurrent of stress in the pale elf's voice.

"I'm here," Tav replied, his voice cracking as the lingering pain in his throat slowly ebbed away. He must have been thrashing and screaming again.

Astarion only hummed in response and smoothed back the sweaty hair at Tav's temple.

"I didn't hurt, you did I," Tav asked tentatively, scared to pull back and see any damage he had caused in the throes of his nightmare.

Astarion snorted softly, tugging on Tav's hair in admonishment, "I'm not some delicate flower, to be crushed by the barest of touches." Tav pulled back enough so he could see Astarion's face as the elf chuckled, the lines around his eyes and mouth betraying the worry lurking just underneath the surface. "But no, I am as well as you left me when you fell asleep." His hand framed Tav's face, his thumb brushing away the dampness of tears, the larger half-elf hadn't realized had fallen.

A shuddering breath left Tav's mouth as Astarion shifted down to kiss Tav's forehead. "Sleep, darling."

Tav felt the exhaustion weighing heavily on him from the nightmare, but he couldn't bring himself to close his eyes yet. "I can't, not yet. I'm...afraid. Afraid of what I might see behind my eyelids, or what I might do," he said his voice dropping to a whisper at the end.

"Well then, in that case, why don't you read to me from one of your books? Or perhaps I could finally teach you to sew. Gods know you out of all of us needs to learn," Astarion replied lightly, disentangling himself partially from Tav's body, and sat up to look for the overly large knapsack of books Tav carried around.

Tav reached out his hand, halting Astarion's movement, as his hand pulled on the fabric of the elf's shirt. "I think I would prefer to just lay here with you. Is that okay?"

Astarion turned back to Tav, his expression full of understanding as he wordlessly rejoined Tav, curling into the larger man's side. Tav idly slid his fingers in and out of the curls at the nape of Astarion's neck as the vampire spawn rested his head against Tav's chest, listening to the steady and reassuring thump of his heartbeat.

"Do you remember when you told me, you couldn't remember what color your eyes were," Tav asked, his voice low and smooth in the silence of the tent.

Astarion shifted so his chin rested on Tav's chest, looking up at the other man with his dark ruby eyes, one pale eyebrow raised in question, "Yes? Why? You know I don't remember much of my time before I was turned."

Taking his hand from the nape of Astarion's neck, Tav gingerly brushed some of the stray silver locks back behind Astarion's pointed ear, his fingers coming to rest curled next to his jaw, his thumb lightly skimming over the pale skin of Astarion's cheek. "I like to imagine them a molten gold. Like the setting sun in summer," he said his eyes half-lidded as he stared up at the ceiling. Tav's chest rumbled with a deep hum, "Regardless of their color, I could get lost in your eyes, love."

Astarion could feel his cheeks flush at a loss for words. This man quite literally kept Astarion alive, in so many ways. Astarion could feel a tightness in his chest at the thought. Here he was beholden, once again to another, to live. However, Cazador only ever took, even when he gave his blessing of near immortality, it was always with the angle of getting more in return.

But Tav? He was different. This was different. Even though the half-elf had his own trauma and darkness to wrestle with, and he also found himself reluctantly in the role of leader, he never abused that power. Not with Astarion, nor anyone else.

A peaceful silence filled the tent as Astarion settled his head back on Tav's chest, the reassuring thud of Tav's heartbeat soft in his ear, comforting the vampire spawn as Tav eventually succumbed to peaceful sleep. Astarion lay there willing the warmth of Tav's body to seep into his bones. He spent the rest of the night deep in thought over his emotions, his trauma, and his peculiar relationship with the sleeping half-elf next to him.

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Astarion sat at a table near the bar in Last Light Inn, nursing a decent vintage of dry red wine in a glass. Ketheric Thorm was dead and Moonrise Tower was empty except for whatever ghosts would now haunt the bloodstained hallways and rooms. There was still much more to do, but for the night, they celebrated another day of living. Astarion however didn't feel much like celebrating. The next step was to make their way to Baldur's Gate, and anxiety gnawed at his stomach at the thought of stepping back into that city that had been his home for so long.

His companions had spread around the inn, drinking, celebrating, and enjoying themselves with the Harpers and tieflings that had taken refuge in the inn. Wyll, Karlach, and Tav were singing bawdy songs while Wyll played his lyre accompanied by a few Harpers on flute and drums.

Jealousy prickled in Astarion's stomach seeing Tav letting loose so easily, so he turned his attention to the rest of the occupants. Gale was ecstatically conversing with a handful of Harpers near a large shelf of books, probably regaling them with stories of magic and a certain goddess. Astarion's eyes scanned the other side and saw Halsin and Shadowheart deep in conversation sharing a bottle of liquor between themselves. Shadowheart's new look was quite striking and had caused quite a few questions from the tieflings and Jaheira about the snow-kissed hair the cleric now sported. He saw no trace of Lae'zel. Hopefully whoever she had set her eyes on, knew the tigress they were bedding down with. That thought caused him to smirk into his wine as he took a sip.

A warm hand slid its way to the nape of his neck and Astarion almost choked on his wine, his eyes going wide, before realizing Tav had come over to his table. The large half-elf curled around the back of his chair and whispered in his ear, "Stop being a wallflower and come dance with me." Tav's hand was tantalizingly warm as his thumb drew circles along his hairline and Astarion couldn't help the shiver that crawled up his spine.

The larger man smelled of ale with undercurrents of sage, sandalwood, and sweat. Astarion wanted to drink his smell in, wanted to taste his lips, wanted the half-elf's blood to coat his mouth and slide down his throat warm and delicious. Desire and hunger twined together in his stomach and he could feel his mouth watering in response.

Swallowing hard he replied, "I haven't danced in quite some time."

Tav kissed Astarion's temple and murmured, "Just follow me, I promise to not let you make a fool of yourself." He pulled back and took Astarion's hand in his, pulling the smaller man to his feet. Astarion could see others glancing at their very public display and he couldn't help the anxiety that tightened his chest until Tav's warm arms pulled him close, and then all he could see was those blue eyes and that easy smile.

They moved slowly to the music, and Astarion realized that a few others had joined them. Jaheira and Halsin laughed and twirled together, their faces open and bright, with the weight of responsibility eased for at least the night. Karlach and Wyll were hand in hand, both blushing furiously, but enjoying the moment. Even a few tieflings and Harpers were getting up to join.

"You must be a sorcerer in disguise," Astarion said a smirk playing on his lips.

"Oh? How so?" Tav asked a playful smile on his face.

"You can do magical things like getting me to dance, somehow keeping us alive through all of this-" Astarion gestured at everything then continued, "All of these happy and safe people, because of you. Surely you've cast a spell on all of us."

A laugh rumbled in Tav's chest as his smile grew even wider, "I've had a lot of help with all of this, and as far as getting you to dance, well-" and he pulled Astarion close, one arm firmly around Astarion's waist, the other hand sliding up subtly caress Astarion's ear, "I like to think that was just my irresistible charm."

Fire lit itself in Astarion's stomach and he could not hold back any longer as he slid a hand to the back of Tav's neck and pulled himself up just enough to capture the other man's lips in his. Tav responded eagerly, adjusting his stance so Astarion didn't have to stand on his tiptoes.

Through the haze in his mind, Astarion heard someone yell for them to get a room. Breaking the kiss he yelled back, "What a grand suggestion!" And with that, he pulled away from Tav who looked sheepishly at the surrounding people. Astarion rolled his eyes and grabbed Tav's hand, pulling him to the nearby room. The small tiefling boy that usually skulked around the room was thankfully absent as Astarion pulled them into the room, closing and locking the door to the main hall of the inn.

"Isn't this someone else's room?" Tav said, watching as Astarion moved to the other door and locked it.

"Not anymore," Astarion growled as he stalked back to Tav, capturing the half-elf's lips once again. An inferno was raging inside of him, burning away his hesitations and self-doubt. All he felt was need. He needed Tav. More than he thought possible.

Tav was hesitant, holding back, his hands light and gentle. Astarion pulled back searching his face and all he saw was confusion, trepidation, and worry.

"'Star, is this what you want?" he asked softly his eyebrows creasing.

Suddenly the inferno was snuffed as easily as a candle in a hurricane. It was replaced with a hollowness inside his stomach and he dropped his eyes from Tav's.

"We all get a bit caught up in the thrill at times it seems," Tav said as he pressed a kiss to Astarion's forehead.

"I'm sorry," Astarion said exasperatedly, as he ran a hand through his silver curls.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, my love," he replied shifting and placing a knuckle underneath Astarion's chin to tilt his face up so their eyes would meet, "Will...will you let me show you, how much you mean to me? If it becomes too much for any reason, I will stop. All you have to say is...lavender."

Astarion felt an explosion of butterflies in his stomach, and his mouth was suddenly so dry he found it hard to speak, so he just nodded.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Tav pulled Astarion close, holding the elf's head between his hands as he slowly kissed his forehead. Then, he moved to his pale eyebrows, his temple, and then his forever bruised-looking eyelids, to his well-defined cheekbones. The kisses were soft yet they lingered on Astarion's skin like brands. Tav kissed along his jawline, to his ear then back to the other side, skipping over Astarion's mouth.

Finally, his lips ghosted across Astarion's, and the pale elf couldn't help but respond, mouth opened slightly in anticipation. Tav waited for two heartbeats before his lips met Astarion's. Astarion let out a choked moan as their tongues danced and explored. Tav could taste the dry red Astarion had been drinking and he knew Astarion could taste the ale on his tongue. Tav tangled his fingers in Astarion's silver locks, as the pale elf mirrored his movements. He wanted Astarion, so bad, but he knew that he would wait until the end of time for the other man to be ready.

Breaking the kiss, Tav panted as he pulled out of their embrace, putting distance between them. Astarion looked wild, his pupils dilated so they were just black orbs rimmed with blood red. "Can I take off your shirt?" Tav asked, his voice husky but steady.

Astarion blinked, surprised, before he slowly nodded. He suddenly felt shy. Tav rarely got to see him without a shirt.

Tav stepped closer again and slowly pulled the hem of Astarion's white shirt out of the waistband of his trousers. His fingers grazed across the pale skin of Astarion's waist, leaving goosebumps in his wake. He pulled the shirt off as Astarion raised his arms, and tossed it to the side as he took in the rogue's lean muscles. Astarion could see the desire in his blue eyes as they moved over his body. Tav was determined to memorize this scene. If Astarion's heart still beat, Tav knew it would be racing from the look in the vampire spawn's crimson eyes. Taking a deep breath to ground himself, Tav asked, "May I touch you?"

Astarion lowered his chin, his eyes locked onto Tav's as he spoke in a low velvety tone, "Yes."

Tav knelt on one knee, his hand reaching out for Astarion's left hand, bringing it to his lips. He kissed each finger, each knuckle as his tongue and lips trailed along the dark veins on the insides of his wrists, moving his kisses slowly upward to his shoulder.

It felt so good.

As he rose to kiss further up, Tav scraped his teeth across the skin of Astarion's shoulder, and the elf let out a moan of pleasure. He trailed along Astarion's collarbones, down his chest, and couldn't help flicking out his tongue to tease the dark pink nipple there. Astarion's gasp was enough to make the half-elf pull back, watching Astarion's face and waiting to see if he called out their safeword. Astarion's eyes were closed as he half whispered, half groaned, "~Ah, keep going."

That was all the encouragement Tav needed as he kissed Astarion's nipple, letting his tongue play circles around the excited flesh. Astarion's hands tangled in Tav's hair as he panted, his head thrown back, pleasure threading tightly through his body. All too soon Tav pulled away again.

Tav stood there, catching his breath, and forcefully battering aside his lust. This wasn't about him tonight. He wanted to show Astarion with everything he had how much he loved him. How much he desired for Astarion to feel loved, safe, and happy. Astarion's eyes finally opened as he came back to himself and when Tav knew the elf was more calm said, "May I touch your back?"

Astarion blanched, who would want to touch that twisted and ugly thing? But as he looked at Tav he knew the answer. "Yes," and he heard his voice tremble.

Tav cocked his head and stayed still, making sure that Astarion was willing and when Astarion nodded again, Tav slowly circled him. He reached out, trailing his fingertips along the raised scars. Stepping closer he slid his fingers into Astarion's hair at the nape of his neck, brushing it out of the way as he kissed the sensitive skin there. Slowly and carefully he made his way down, mixing kisses with his hands as he moved over the sigil that had been carved into his lover's back.

He said in an almost chant between kisses,

"I love your smile, especially when you don't think anyone is looking.

I love your eyes, be they red, green, purple, or black, and I find myself lost in them.

I love the way your silver curls bounce and catch the light of the dying sun.

I love how it feels when I'm running hot and your cool hands touch me.

I love that you trust me to touch you, to kiss you, to love you.

I love that you've let yourself become vulnerable and opened yourself up to not only me but also our friends.

I love the strength of your mind and body, and how you've persevered through terrible abuses.

I love how it feels when you sink your teeth into me.

I love your laugh, especially the ones that take you by surprise because they're the most genuine.

I love that you hold me and comfort me during my nightmares, even though you also have your own.

I love the exasperated looks you give me when I'm being especially good.

I love the smirk that plays on your face anytime you catch me staring at how beautiful you are.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you, Astarion."

Tav ended his chant and gently turned Astarion to face him and saw the tears trailing down the vampire spawn's face. He cupped Astarion's face, wiping away the wetness on his cheeks. "I love you, 'Star. Nothing will change that. Being in your presence is enough for me, now and always. Hells, even if you were thousands of miles away, my feelings wouldn't change, because I know that no matter the distance, I can hold you in my heart. I will feel your light and warmth regardless of how dark the night is."

Astarion fully broke down at this point, sobbing loudly into Tav's chest as he pulled him into a hug. The ragged sobs from Astarion brought tears to his eyes and he fought desperately to hold himself together. He pulled Astarion tighter into him, enveloping him in his arms as much as he possibly could without crushing the man. Tears soaked the front of Tav's shirt, but he didn't mind, not even a little.

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Thanks for reading