Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own OCs, and any poems or songs that may eventually turn up in this story unless otherwise noted.
Edit 11/17/20 I did make some minor alterations to this chapter. It shouldn't affect the storyline much; it was primarily for descriptive purposes and for clarification for later chapters.
I lost an Agni Kai. To Zuko. Was Father right to leave me behind after all? How could I have lost? These are Azula's first thoughts as she's lead to a cell in the Tower. The door clangs shut behind her. All thoughts of anger leave her mind, and confusion sets in, and a strange tightness begins to surround her chest.
"Azula, you aren't just your father's child." Her mother's voice again. "You're mine too. And I love you, Azula." Her mother appears behind her from the shadows in the corner. Her clothes are the black ones that Azula had seen her wear right before she'd gone to bed the night of her mother's disappearance. The dark cloth and her hair blends with the shadow created by the wall. It almost looks as though she's a ghost.
"Why don't you go bother Zuko? You always loved him more!" Azula retorts. She looks around for something to throw.
"I love you both. Zuko needed me more, but that doesn't mean that I loved you less." Her mother reaches towards her. "Please, believe me, my dear Azula."
"GO AWAY!" Azula throws a fist and a deep red flame launches in the direction of her mother. Mother disappears, still reaching for her.
"Who are you talking to? Crazy kid." A guard passes by her cell door. Azula bristles at this and tries to burn him through the bars. Her flame is still a dim red, barely there at all. The guard stands there, unharmed. He smirks as he walks up to touch the metal bar of the cell. His hand closes around it and he leaves it there comfortably.
The tightness in Azula's chest becomes utterly suffocating, but she keeps her breathe steady.
"Oh, so you can hear me. I'm sorry, Princess." His tone says he's anything but that.
"I want to see my brother! Bring him to me!" She shouts. He's going to pay for this. He must have sent the Avatar to find Mother in the Spirit World and bring her back to taunt me! I'll have more than a few words for him!
She feels familiar flickering flame in her hand, but the man regards her calmly, with arrogant bemusement.
"Crown Prince Zuko hasn't the time. He's preparing for his coronation." The guard leaves abruptly, before she gets another chance to burn him. She hears a few other guards join him in the hall.
"She's still talking to herself in there. Poor thing's gone completely insane. She actually thinks she can order us to bring Prince Zuko to her." The one from her door says. The ensuing chuckle bounces around the narrow walls, mixing with the remnants of the snide tone.
"It makes sense though, after all that's happened. She's still just a teenager." Another one says.
"Don't tell me that you're feeling sorry for her! That teenager took over Ba Sing Se from the inside, and was the one that Fire Lord Ozai had entrusted the kingdom to. That teenager is the youngest person in the records able to bend lightning! Do not feel sorry for her! That's the first step towards that monster getting out of there!" Door Guard shouts.
They continue speaking as they walk down another hall, but Azula can no longer distinguish the words from the echoes.
Monster. She reaches to her hair. Her roughly cut, tangled and dirty hair. Monster! She yanks it roughly. The pain is blinding, but only for a moment. She looks at the her hand. She feels the few strands of hair that came loose dangling in the darkness, unseen, around her fingertips.
"I love you, Azula." Her mother's face appears in the shadowy corner again.
"Go away. You're just a ghost. And you would be alive if you had just let Father kill Zuko as planned. I wouldn't be here! I'd be with Father. This is your fault! GO AWAY!" Her flame burns a bright orange this time, but her mother doesn't disappear. Mother stays in the corner, looking sad and sympathetic. That makes Azula feel even worse.
"What do you want from me, Mother? When will you go away?" She can hear the strain in her own voice, but refuses to give in to her tears again. She's disgraced herself so much already today. I lost to Zuko. I've failed Father. I am a monster. Mother doesn't love me! She is the reason I'm in this cell!
"Love yourself. You are a beautiful girl, Azula. Love your brother. He wants to help you." Mother's hand caresses her face, but Azula can't feel it.
"I hate you! I hate Zuko! I want my throne back! I hate you!" Her voice reaches screaming pitch as she throws more dim flames.
"Azula, you can hate me all that you want. But don't hate yourself. Don't hate." Her tone is soft and sympathetic. "It's not very smart, is it?" She arches an eyebrow, almost condescendingly. "Hatred is a weakness, Daughter. Learn to let it go." Her tone becomes soft again as she disappears into the shadows and is gone.
Startled by the sudden disappearance, Azula cautiously approaches the corner that her mother was just in. Finding nothing but the wall, her heart feels an emptiness she's never really known, and can't explain. She collapses against the wall, shivering in the damp, cold air.
Is Father dead too? She wonders. It would make sense that Father would be gone. If Zuko is the one calling the shots out there, and he's with Iroh and the Avatar, then it would make sense that the Avatar would have had to kill Father to end the war.
There must be a way out of here! That Airbender will pay for what he's done! I killed him once. The next time, he'll stay dead. For Father. For the Fire Nation!
She begins planning. She will reclaim the Fire Nation. For herself, since Father isn't here.
The Avatar must die quickly. Then the water tribes must be flushed away. But, Zuzu...My dear brother, I have hundreds of more fun ways to kill you for what you've done. You'll be wishing to relive that burn over your eye when I'm done with you.
She positions herself in the center of the room, trying to clear her mind enough to plan a way out of this predicament. Every now and then, she checks over her shoulder to look in the corner.