**I do not own these characters or the world, that belongs to our lovely author of MHA, Kohei Horikoshi. Also, cover art was a commission by me from the artist Krumbs. Follow them on if you'd like! They are extremely talented!

Eight
The Pint Sized Pervert See's Something Unexpected

Unbeknownst to both Deku and Uraraka, there had been another set of eyes that had seen their little exchange and the couple depart with hands entwined. He'd been delayed in getting out of class because Mr. Aizawa had had to talk to him about his desk—a most disastrous turn of events in that it had been destroyed by that hot babe Mirko and her fiery temper—and that had allowed him to bear witness to the curious little exchange.

As he had left the classroom after everyone else had left, he'd also run into Bakugo who'd been leaving the bathroom, looking particularly foul. It had knocked him totally over and onto his rear. Mineta had planned to say something saucy to whoever he ran into but when he realized it was the blonde that everyone feared, he'd kept his mouth sealed shut. Midoriya might be able to tolerate explosions to the face, but he most certainly didn't want to!

"Get out of the way, ball boy," he'd snapped at the diminutive boy. At the use of Mirko's term for him, he couldn't help but get rosy cheeked recalling their encounter and how close he'd been to her…all of her!

"It is a good nickname, huh? Glad she gave it to me," Mineta murmured, his eyes now far away, lost in memory of those thick beautiful thighs. Oh, he ached to know what it felt like to be brushed between those two beauties.

Whilst not paying any attention to Bakugo, Mineta was completely unaware of Bakugo's quickly rising fury at his words. To him, he was just replaying that wonderous moment of Mirko landing in a squatting position on his desk and the front row seat he'd had.

"Shut it you little creep! As if the rabbit would hesitate to pop your head off had she not been some bullshit guest speaker for that stupid class! You're lucky all she did was smash your desk," Bakugo spat, his voice acidic, "I would've blown your pervy little ass into the next world!"

Drawn out of his memories by Bakugo's hot temper, Mineta didn't doubt the validity of his words. He seemed especially worked up too. MIneta took in Bakugo's large pupils, enraged expression, his aggressive stance over the diminutive up and coming hero and recalled his exit from the toilet that had started this whole encounter. He'd looked especially cranky when leaving the toilet or perhaps frustrated, but then again Bakugo's baseline expression seemed to anger or some other negative sentiment.

A new idea suddenly bloomed in Mineta's mind and even though he knew it might cost him his life, he couldn't help but smile. It takes one to know one, thought Mineta with that devious little smile on his face.

When Bakugo had seen the smile on Mineta's lips his face had contorted to new levels of fury. "What the fuck are you smiling at?!" Bakugo grabbed the collar of Mineta's shirt and pulled him up and into his face, ready to put one of those oh so dangerous murder palms in his face.

Mineta could practically smell the beginnings of smoke and fire and knew that he was about to get an explosion to the face if he didn't choose his next words carefully.

"Nothing, nothing at all!" He'd chirped though the smile had been stubbornly resistant and stayed on his face. Deep down he was chortling in laughter. I know why you're so bothered! I know why you're pissed off, oh I know!

"Then stop smiling you idiot!" Bakugo snapped and aggressively released Mineta. He shot him one more nasty look and then stormed off toward the exit. Mineta had watched him go and had continued to smile, unable to help himself, now that he knew Bakugo was a teenage boy just like the rest of them.

While his quirk was the pop off sticky balls that he could produce and use at will, Mineta secretly thought that he a secret second quirk. He had an uncanny sixth sense for detecting when someone had masturbated. Like a bloodhound, he could seek out any conversation regarding hot girls or sexual things usually within a mile radius of him. This sixth sense for all things sexual, or perhaps the more apt term would be perverted, had convinced Mineta that he did in fact possess at least two quirks.

Bakugo's delayed exit from school to detour to the bathroom could only be one thing: he'd stopped there to rub one out! Mineta was certain of it. How could he not when the rabbit hero had practically stroked his head with her hand and had graced him with her presence on his desk, and she'd not chosen to destroy it! It also explained his ornery disposition with him. Of course, Bakugo was always irritable, but this level of hostility wasn't usually common. If Deku had been around that would've made more sense—to Mineta Bakugo seemed to have extra spite for the green haired boy, it was weird—but he hadn't been anywhere near them and yet Bakugo had raged at him.

It makes perfect sense that Bakugo would be pissed after a wank…that type probably rarely even has to partake in the joys of self-love because they're so, ew, gross, can hardly even think it—asexual-but occasionally even someone like him would feel the need. Mirko is probably the perfect catalyst to his sexual awakening. A true beast would be what it takes to make someone like Bakugo get a hard on. The fact that it was bad enough that he had to address it probably made him even angrier…a slave to hormones even he is, Mineta thought with a devious, knowing smile.

Yes, he had it all figured out. He supposed he could feel jealous that Mirko had paid some attention to Bakugo as well, but he wasn't; she'd chosen to destroy his desk after all…that counted for something.

Feeling proud that he'd figured out something he was certain Bakugo would be murderously mortified that he knew, he confidently had walked toward the exit. However, just as he was about to leave the school, he stopped where he was and took in the scene just outside.

Deku was crouched down, as if he were about to jump into the air, Uraraka was floating upside down in the air, and much to his surprise, Bakugo stood between them, one hand extended and grabbing Uraraka's sleeve. He watched as the spikey haired boy pulled the rosy cheeked girl back down to earth. Mineta cracked the school door open just a fraction so that he could overhear what was happening.

"-you! I was about to use o, erm, my quirk to get her but you got to her first!" Deku had exclaimed with a bright smile on his face. Bakugo just looked annoyed.

"Shudup, nerd!" Bakugo had snapped with murderous eyes, then turned toward Uraraka and said, "and you, learn how to control your stupid quirk. Fuckin' idiots."

Bakugo trudged away. Mineta's gaze shifted from him to both Deku and Uraraka.

Smiling, Deku said, "He's going to make such an awesome hero!"

More like an awesome murderer of villains, thought Mineta to himself.

"Uh, Deku, do you, uh, do you want to hold hands now?" Uraraka said, surprising him. His jaw practically fell to the floor and he outright stared.

He watched in shock as Deku nervously scratched the back of his head and then replied, softly enough that Mineta had to lean his ear right up to the crack in the door, "yeah, I'd like that."

Both Uraraka and Deku then proceeded to walk toward their dorm, hands entwined. Mineta continued to stare in disbelieving shock.

Once they were out of sight, he exited the school and stared off in the direction of the dorm. "Midoriya you sneaky bastard," Mineta mused with a mixture of pride and disbelief coloring his face.

So that was why he'd looked so tired a few days ago…he'd been up with Uraraka! And it was why he'd run out of class and she'd run after him. Oh, this was just too juicy! A new thought dawned on Mineta as he realized that this could very well mean that Midoriya had kissed, no, gotten to second or third base…or, gulp, A HOMERUN?!

"How is it possible that Midoriya could get farther along with a girl before me? He can barely talk to the girls if its about anything other than hero stuff!" Mineta marveled quietly. It didn't make sense! Of all people, Midoriya?! But as he thought about it, it did make some sense.

Mineta thought back to how chummy Uraraka and Midoriya had always been, in fact, most of the girls seemed to like him. Midoriya usually got along with everyone, the boys and the girls, but he was so hero focused—no! No! There was no way that Midoriya was somehow secretly a Casanova and able to woo their classmates. He wasn't even all that good looking! His hair was always a mess, he had those stupid freckles—everyone knew freckles only looked good on girls—he didn't have a particularly manly voice—though he himself didn't have some suave sexy voice either—his quirk wasn't particularly flashy or cool, he was obnoxiously obsessed with All Might, his tie was never tied right, he always wore those ugly dumb red shoes, his right arm and hand were covered in scars, he was often muttering to himself when he became focused on something, he took too many notes—he wasn't even tall! Of all the boys to get a girlfriend or make progress with a girl, it should not be Midoriya!

The memory of Mirko's bunny tail and sweet sexy ass in Deku's face suddenly filled Mineta's mind. He practically broke out crying at recalling that. He'd been too focused on her being in his face and on his desk that he'd barely registered her ass being in Midoriya's face.

It wasn't fair! How could this happen? Mineta crossed his arms spitefully. He made no movement to return to their dorm despite the setting sun.

"Maybe…maybe it's just Midoriya and Uraraka…maybe he hasn't gotten to the other girls," Mineta thought to himself but still cringed, "even if he hasn't gotten to the other babes, he's still getting some kind of action with Uraraka. I gotta get to the bottom of this, and fast!"

Mineta charged forward but abruptly halted. He would have to be careful about this, he wouldn't be able to ask Midoriya directly since he figured that it was highly likely that Midoriya would deflect and deny any carnal knowledge. If he wanted to know what Deku had done, how far he'd gotten, he'd have to be cautious and clever…neither were his strong suit. Perhaps he needed to involve someone else, someone who could be a bit craftier and more surreptitious than he was able to be.

"But who," he murmured to himself and thought over their classmates. He wasn't sure who would actually be willing to assist him in getting Midoriya to spill.

His mind initially went to Kaminari, Sero, and Kirishima but then he shook that off. Kaminari definitely lacked an ability to be clever and quiet as did Sero and Kirishima would almost certainly dismiss such behavior as less than manly. Most of the other boys were out too. Midoriya might be willing to discuss things of that nature with someone he was close to, like Todoroki, but Mineta knew that that was a lost cause. That boy lacked any guile and was far too literal to sneak around and dig up Midoriya's secrets. Midoriya seemed close—well close was the best term he could come up with—sort of friends with Bakugo, but he was extremely skeptical that Midoriya would ever confess such a thing to him or that Bakugo would even be willing to listen.

Basically all the boys weren't an option and almost all the girls would probably say no too. It's not like he could rely on one of the teachers to dig around for information. Suddenly a dark eyed, pink haired girls face came into his mind and he knew who might be able to help him. He wasn't certain that she'd even agree to help since, well since he was an established pervert, but he knew she liked to be in on secrets like that. Plus, going at it from Midoriya might not yield any information, but if one of Uraraka's friends inquired enough she might spill and if she spilled then Midoriya would probably also cave.

It was the perfect plan! All he had to do was convince Ashido of his discovery and then try to get her to assist him in finding out just how far innocent little Midoriya and Uraraka had actually gotten.

"Because of the two of them, yeah, I bet she's into the freaky stuff," Mineta murmured to himself deviously.