Ch4

Marinette remembered the day of Gabriel Agreste's funeral as if it were yesterday. It was the day that destroyed the last few bits of her heart and her mental sanity.

"Marinette are all the cakes loaded?" Her mother asked as they got into the family delivery van.

"Yes mom they are," she said softly as she made sure everything was secure. It took all her will power to appear as if nothing was wrong, as if she were her usual happy self.

Adrien. It would be the first time she saw him in a long time. Ever since his father's death he dropped out of school and began to self study while managing his personal things. No one had heard from him and the only bits of news came from the prepared statements on his official media accounts.

Please be ok. Her insides were still numb and she hardly slept each night the memory of what happened replayed in her head along with Adrien's cold hard gaze and him calling her a murderer.

"Marinette honey don't worry I'm sure Adrien is ok," his mother said as they drove to the church where the funeral would take place. "But I recommend you give him space, he is still grieving."

"Yes mom," she said softly. I'm supposed to be the hero of Paris but what can I say to him? Hey Adrien your dad and Nathalie were supervillains. Deep down guilt racked her, she was the reason Adrien now was reclusive. She was the reason he had no more family. I'm the reason he is no longer happy, how could I do that?

She wanted to tell him the truth, to make him forgive her but she knew she had to keep her identity a secret. Maybe I could tell him in an indirect way? Let him know that they were involved in something bad and it was just an accident.

That excuse sounded stupid even as a thought. She and Alya charged into the Agreste mansion, fought Gabriel and Nathalie, and their actions resulted in their deaths. I defeated Hawkmoth but at what cost? Could we ever be together knowing that I killed his family?

She looked out the window at the imposing cathedral as her insides turned. It was a beautiful structure but the somber occasion did little to lighten her mood. I wonder if Cat Noir is somewhere here?

Her partner hadn't so much as spoken to her and for whatever reason only had nothing but hatred towards her. Gone were his witty persona and flirty nature and instead her former partner held her in contempt and attacked her the few times she tried to get close to him. How could I lose the two people closest to me?

As she helped her parents bring the food in and set it up she scanned the room hoping to catch a glimpse of Adrien. The funeral wouldn't be for another hour but there were already a few important dignitaries and influential people in the fashion helping bring everything in she began to search for him. "Adrien where are you," she muttered as she tried to find him through the crowd.

She began searching through the empty parts of the church but she still couldn't find any sign of Adrien. "Um Marinette I know this might not be a good time but there is something you should do," Tikki said carefully.

"What is it?" She asked before slipping into an abandoned room.

"As guardian you should retrieve the butterfly and peacock miraculouses," Tikki said looking her in the eyes "They need to be accounted for."

She sighed as her anxiety built up inside of her. "I'll try to bring it up if I can." Great more problems I have to deal with. What am I even supposed to ask him?

After failing to find Adrien she went to grab herself a glass of wine and mingled a bit with the crowd, she was underage but her parents let her sip occasionally. Where could you be? She sighed when she arrived at the chapel door and noticed it was open. She frowned and peeped her head inside. The large chapel loomed in front of her and at the head near the altar was the casket of Gabriel Agreste. However, in front of the casket was a person that made her blood boil.

"Lila," she growled as she entered the chapel. The girl was looking over the body casket and appeared to be doing something. It may have been her depression and anxiety but she was not going to put up with this girl's schemes.

Her blood boiled just seeing her. She quietly entered the chapel and headed towards Lila. "What brings you here?" She asked her voice echoing in the chapel.

Lila Rossi stood up and slowly turned to face her with a wide grin. "Oh you know I was just paying my respects to Gabriel Agreste. What a great man, it's a shame he had to die in such a way."

He was also a supervillain. She gripped her wine glass tightly. "The service isn't for another hour you should wait outside."

Lila rolled her eyes. "Well there are no rules for being here. I just wanted to pay my respects. You know Ladybug really is horrible, I guess her true colors were shown."

Her knuckles turned white as she gripped her glass. "Don't speak of her like that, she is the hero of Paris," She said coldly. Her body was fighting the urge to throw a punch and leave. Lila liked to push buttons and she was in no mood to deal with them.

Lila laughed, her voice echoing throughout the room. "Hero? She murdered one of the greatest fashion designers and his assistant in front of his son. Sadly, Paris hasn't brought her to justice." She sighed with mock sorrow. "What a horrible person she must be beneath that mask."

Her blood boiled, all the anguish she had faced was now starting to bubble up. "Shut it Lila!" She yelled. "You don't know anything!"

"Oh I don't?" Lila said feigning interest. "Tell me why would a so called hero attack an innocent civilian? She is a cold blooded killer."

Her vision went red as she through the wine glass at Lila. "Because he was an evil criminal!" Lila ducked as the wine hit Gabriel's body. They both froze, even Lila's jaw dropped in genuine shock as they watched the glass break on Gabriel's face spilling wine onto the white suit.

"Oh no," she said softly.

"Marinette what do you mean by that," said a soft voice that made her eyes widen.

She turned around and froze as she saw Adrien standing a few feet from them. The love of her life was completely different, gone was the light in his eyes which were now almost soulless and had bags underneath them. Instead of the ever charming model she knew and love the person in front of her was a husk of a man.

"Adrien," she said taking a step back while Lila smirked at her. "It's not what it looks like Lila she-"

"Get out." Adrien cut her off with a glare that sent a shiver down her spine.

Her body trembled under his glare, his green eyes were a lit with a fiery hatred. "P-Please listen to me."

Adrien's gaze hardened. "You insulted my father and threw his wine on his body? I'm sorry but you to leave now." Adrien snapped his fingers and a few bodyguards came up behind her. "Escort her out now."

"Wait Adrien please hear me out," She begged as the men grabbed her arms. "You know what Lila is like?"

Lila Rossi stood next to the casket doing little to hide her smirk. "I saw you throw the wine," Adrien said coldly his hard gaze making her flinch. "I also heard you insult my father. I'm sorry but whatever was between us is no more."

His words were like a dagger in the heart destroying the last few pieces of her sanity that she was clinging onto. Tears fell down her face as she was escorted out of the chapel. She didn't want to admit it but she knew that whatever chance she could've had with Adrien was now snuffed out.

Marinette woke up feeling more groggy than usual. "I wonder if I need therapy for those recurring dreams," she muttered as she slowly got out of bed. She did it for a while but there was only so much she could do without revealing her identity.

Adrien had not been a part of her life in years, ever since his father's funeral she had not so much as heard from him and he apparently blocked her number along with any and all forms of communication they had.

We were supposed to be together and live happily ever after. I guess fairy tales don't happen in real life. She sighed as she got out of bed and got ready for the day.

The morning rush at the bakery was usual, same customers and doing her best to make sure she didn't show how sad she was on the inside. It wasn't like she had school or anything and she long gave up the desire to be a fashion designer. When all was done with the morning rush she helped her parents clean up before returning to her room and collapsing on her bed.

She let out a sigh as she looked at where she hid the miraculous box. I'm the guardian yet I can't even do anything for myself. She still played with the kwamis occasionally but since there weren't any akuma attacks she hadn't gifted them out to her friends to use.

"Hey Marinette can come in?" Alya asked as she knocked on the door.

"Sure," she said sitting up on her bed.

Alya pulled up a chair and sat down next to her. "You ok?"

"I don't know anymore," she muttered. "It's been forever since then and I don't know if I can move on from the past."

"You're the true Ladybug of course you can," Alya said looking her in the eyes. "That day also still haunts me, but one day or another you have to decide what you want to do with it."

She avoided her friend's gaze as she fought the desire to tear up. "Thank you for being Ladybug in my place. Ever since the funeral, I couldn't bear the burden." She shifted in her seat. "Am I a coward Alya?"

Alya shook her head. "No. You are a strong person and the hero of Paris. Don't get me wrong being Ladybug is fun but Tikki isn't my kwami."

She sighed. "I know. I just needed a break." A ten year break. She was embarrassed by how long she had Alya be Ladybug, so far most Parisians hadn't taken notice but a few people in the conspiracy theory corner of social media suggested otherwise.

Tikki came out of the earrings and rested on her lap. "Marinette as much as I enjoy Alya I miss you too you know. Paris misses you."

She smiled at her kwami. "Thank you Tikki. I promise when I feel up to it we'll be Ladybug again." She then turned to Alya. "How is crime in the city?"

"Still going up," Alya sighed. "But no sign of either the Peacock or Butterfly miraculous."

"I wonder where they could've gone," she sighed. "It's been ten years and not a single akuma has appeared."

"I know," Alya said. Her friend paused and looked at the ground. "Do you think they are in the Agreste Mansion?"

She shifted in her seat. "I don't know. Adrien's reaction was obvious that he didn't know what his father and Nathalie were up to." She winced at the memory of Adrien's angry glare, her anxiety flared just thinking about it.

"If you want I could swing by his mansion and do some snooping," Alya suggested.

She shook her head. "No. We know how he feels about Ladybug." He still views me as a murderer. The thought made her wince. "Has Nino spoken to him?"

Alya shook her head. "Apparently they still send messages to each other but they aren't that close anymore. Not that I blame them though, Adrien basically had to grow up fast."

And it's all our fault. Her heart sank at the thought of causing Adrien so much suffering. Because of me he lost his family and what little childhood innocence he had.

"Marinette calm down," Alya said snapping her out of her thoughts. She looked up as Alya placed a hand on her shoulder. "Marinette it is also partly my fault you don't have to shoulder all the blame. Besides I'm sure Adrien might have forgiven Marinette Dupain Chang."

"I don't know," she sighed. "I haven't spoken to him since that day at the funeral. You?"

Alya shook her head. "I haven't spoken to him in ages. Well we can't dwell on the past I wanted to talk to you about the rising crime in the city. You are Paris's hero you should defend the city."

She flinched. "I-I don't know. There aren't any akumas and civilian crime isn't really the job of Ladybug."

Her friend's gaze was firm. "You are Paris's hero. The city still needs its hero and without akumas that doesn't' mean there isn't trouble."

Her words weighed on her head. Could I really fight crime as Ladybug? It really isn't my job but people still need help.

"Does Cat Noir still want nothing to do with Ladybug?" she asked though she knew the answer. Closing her eyes she winced at the memory of Cat Noir's cold eyes.

A shiver went down her spine He hates me. She would do anything to have her friendly kitty by her side. It had been ages since she had seen his smile, hear his puns, and received any of his affection.

Alya sighed and nodded. "That guy detests me, for whatever reason he wants me dead."

She looked down at her hands. "I still remember that fight like it was yesterday." Taking a deep breath she looked at her friend. Her blood ran cold just thinking of the hatred in her partner's eyes that day.

She swallowed the lump in her throat. "Did I really treat him that badly? Was that much of a horrible partner."

"Of course not," Alya said firmly. "Marinette don't forget Paris loves you and needs you."

Her friend took off the earrings and held them out to her. She looked at them remembering all of the times she had saved the day. Her arm shook as she reached out to touch them but she pulled back and cleaned the tears from her eyes. "I'm sorry."