Disclaimer: I don't know Victorious, we all know who the series belongs to Nickelodeon; but if I did own the series, the show would have gotten a proper series finale and Jori would be canon.
Author Notes: Not much to say other that since later tonight is the Academy Awards, I thought "eh, what the hell? I'll write something for fun."
Truth be told, this chapter was partly inspired by an article or twitter comment I read somewhere in which supposedly Liz Gillies said that her biggest dream is to win an Oscar someday, so I thought what if I did a dabble which eventually became a short story about what Jade might do when she thinks no one's looking.
This was also partially inspired by an episode of "Friends" and "The Simpsons", you most likely know from the little egg I put when I wrote this.
Tori poked her head out of the master bedroom and stared intently at the closed bathroom door. She had been very careful not to tip off her wife to the fact that she had been awake when the former Goth got out of bed and went to take her morning shower. In fact she had continued to lay in bed for several minutes afterwards just to make sure that Jade would be well into her shower time before beginning her plan.
"This only happens once a year, I'm so not going to miss this for the world." Tori thought amused. "I just gotta be stealthy."
When the Latina reached the bathroom door, she slowly reached out a hand and gave the knob a gentle, testing turn. Not surprisingly, it was locked.
"Should have seen that one coming." Tori thought as she pulled lock picking tools out of the case. "Fortunately I thought ahead."
She knelt down then went about picking the lock.
"Trina really went overboard when she snuck in my room to 'borrow' my clothes when we were growing up." Tori thought. "Still, can't say I'm complaining for letting me use her kit."
Eventually Tori got the bathroom door open and placed the tools back into the kit then pulled out another small device, this one happened to be her phone, a mischievous smile spread across her face at the thought of what she was about to do.
"Oh I feel like Indiana Jones right now." She gushed "If I'm not careful I might just awaken a very scary, vengeful evil."
The Latina slowly but surely opened the door, making sure her spouse wouldn't hear the creaking as she got to work, fortunately for her, Jade was preoccupied at the moment, singing the doom song, oddly appropriate if she caught Tori sneaking around during her private time.
In retrospect this shouldn't be an issue as both women are already married and they most definitely saw each other in their birthdays suits, that wasn't the problem, however what Jade did after her shower was as it was a secret that only her ever loving wife knew about and was really looking forward to seeing.
Jade eventually turned off the shower, which made Tori squeal with glee but obviously tried not to make her squeals give her away.
"Showtime!" Tori turned on the camera on her phone and began recording "Hello I'm Victoria West, you may remember me from such movies such as 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show' and 'The Outcasts' and now I present to you all 'And the Bender goes to…"
As the Latina kept recording her little intro, an oblivious Jade wrapped two towels on her body, one across her chest and the other on her head to keep the water dripping from her hair.
Jade got out of the shower, sighing as she felt relaxed for the day ahead, as she opened her eyes, the brunette noticed that next to her toothpaste, there was something that really didn't belonged in the bathroom.
"What the Hell is a Toy Bender doing here?" Jade asked confused as she grabbed the miniature golden toy robot. "Stupid question, Vega I don't know why but I know you put this here."
Tori's eyes widened, fearing that Jade discovered not only her hiding place but what she was hoping to see.
"Why is my wife such a dork?" Jade grunted in annoyance. "A better question here would be why I felled in love with a dork?"
The thespian didn't pay the toy any more interest (or so she told herself) as she was preparing to shave her legs the painful way, Jade every so often looked at the golden Bender who seemed to watch her back tauntingly.
"Bite my Glorious Golden Ass."
This of course surprised Jade, who looked in all possible directions as an explanation to make sure she wasn't going nuts.
"Shit, I'm starting to hear things!"
Tori was snickering playfully, proud of herself for (in her opinion) spot on imitation of the foul robot's voice, she then continued by saying "Come on Jade, we both know you want to play with me!"
Jade was about to start screaming bloody murder at the toy robot until she realized how stupid that sounded, so instead she tried to ignore it.
"Come on, play with me!" Tori coyly said, still using her Bender voice. "Your wife plays with me, why not you?"
Jade snapped, she was just about ready to open the bathroom door and throw the toy out but once she held the golden Bender in her hand, she couldn't help but notice its resemblance to a certain movie award as she saw herself in the mirror.
Next thing Jade knew, she began to think of the sound of thunderous applause, now only one hand was holding onto the Bender figurine as she clutched it to her chest, she then gave a smile, not a scary vengeful one but a sincere, happy smile; one that only few people ever had the honor of seeing.
She gazed to her left and to her right with her "pretend not to be too smugly proud" expression on her face; sniffling once, twice… three times before taking a deep breath, she waved to a very special person she knew would be proud of her in her imaginary audience.
Jade was so deep into her role that she didn't hear her wife trying to hold in her laughter but if she had been aware, the former Goth certainly would have seen the proud look on her face.
After all, Tori knew sooner or later Jade would win the Oscar someday, she had that much faith in her wife after all.
Jade muttered a quick "thank you" as she took Tori's toothbrush from the shelf, thinking of it as an improvised microphone. "Thank you," she said again, louder this time as she looked straight in the mirror, oh she was on her role now.
"Thank you so much for this prestigious award… It's such a momentous moment right now… I'm almost in complete disbelief right now, I mean I can't believe that this is happening to me! But it is!" She brought the Bender figurine to her chest and swallowed away the lump in her throat. "Chiz, there's so many people to thank, I don't even know where to start."
"How about you start with your wife?" Tori asked mentally.
Jade quickly turned off the main light in the bathroom and switched on the little spots above the mirror. "I'm sure I should be saying something funny or something but those who know me already gotta be aware that's not going to happen, so instead I'll just give the finger to those assholes who never believed in me, I'm looking at you dad!"
Jade then gave him the bird.
"Uh what?" Jade said pretending to be surprised as she put a finger in her ear as if she had an earpiece "You're saying this is a family show and I can't swear or give the finger? A little too late for that isn't it?" She paused for laughter and applause from the imaginary audience, letting out a nervous chuckle.
"Still holy Chiz, you can't make this stuff up, a freaking Oscar…" There was another enamored chuckle mixed with various awes from the imaginary audience. "Right, thanking people. Okay, obviously I need to get the studio out of the way first. So thanks to my friend Cat Valentine who owns the studio a Valentino's and gave me the opportunity to bring my project to life! I also gotta give thanks to the casting director and yes I know that's me but come on, we all know without picking up the right actors, this movie would have sucked!"
"What the…. Cat got a thank you from my wife before me?!" Tori questioned perplexing and a little pissed off. "Seriously?!"
"Of course, I have to thank my father in law or else I won't be invited to Thanksgiving and Christmas ever again." Jade chuckled again. "Thanks to Mr. Vega for making me so welcome in your home when my own father didn't have the decency to do that. I'm… also very grateful to my mom. Wherever you are, you may be dead but your influence still lives on!"
Tori couldn't help but smile sadly at that.
"I also want to give thanks to my family and friends, Trina, Gibby, Andre, Robbie, you may all be a constant pain in my ass but you're all pains in my ass I couldn't live without!" Jade said. "Oh right! And I guess thank you to all the old farts in the Academy for this!"
She's quiet, save for a couple of chuckles here and there as he stands there to accept the applause.
Jade gives one final smile as she puts Tori's toothbrush back in its place and finds a good spot to put the Bender figurine, which didn't take long as she simply sets it on the top shelf, she steps back and nods approvingly.
"Perfect place." Jade said as she subtly uses the mirror to witness the angry narrowing eyes from her spouse, she felt smug right now and her face clearly showed it but before she had to spend an eternity sleeping on the couch she had to end the charade.
"Ok Vega, open the door." Jade ordered. "I know you been watching the whole time."
The Latina's eyes widened in surprise.
"You knew?!" Tori bellowed as she swung open the door. "Since when?!"
"You're not good as you think you are when you're trying to be as quiet as a mouse, my dear Vega." Jade said dryly as she looked at her wife with a raised eye. "Plus, you're not subtle either, really Vega? Did you really had to put a golden Bender in the bathroom of all places? You're such a dork."
"Says the woman who just gave a victory speech and forgot to mention me in it!" Tori angrily said.
"Touché Vega, but you gotta remember that I knew you were watching." Jade replied teasingly. "I didn't mentioned you just to get under your skin, trust me, if I ever win an Academy Award, you would be the first person I would give a thank you."
"I'll hold you to that." Tori said, still somewhat mad. "And it's a matter of when, not if."
"You really think so Vega?"
"Is the sky blue?" Tori retorted before giving her wife a kiss. "You're still sleeping on the couch for the week though."
"Aw come on Vega! You know I was just kidding around with you!" Jade complained. "Why are you punishing me like this?!"
"For giving my sister a thank you and not me!" Tori said annoyed.
"On an imaginary speech!" Jade snarled. "It's not as if I kissed her ass!"
"You're cute when you're mad, baby." Tori said coyly. "See, two can play at the game of getting under someone's skin, maybe I should practice my own victory speech, after all you're not the only actress in this house."
The Thespian narrowed her eyes dangerously before she started laughing.
"Holy crap Vega." Jade said impressed "I forgot you can also have a very devious mind sometimes."
"Learned from the best." Tori replied lovingly. "Now come on, let me in so I can take a shower, we gotta get a few thing's before driving to Robbie's house, he invited us to see the Oscar's remember?"
"Only because his wife got nominated." Jade said with thinly veiled jealousy. "Still can't believe Cat got nominated for Best Actress for her role as the Little Mermaid!"
"Come on Jade, don't be bitter." Tori said. "We gotta be supportive and remember, someday you'll get nominated and when you win your Oscar, it's going to be a great night but for now treat Cat like you would want to be treated when you get your nomination.
"Fine, ok Vega, I see your point." Jade grunted "But I swear that if Cat wins best actress for playing the little mermaid I'll eat my shoes."
Needless to say went barefoot home that night.
What can I say about this chapter? Well I was partially inspired as I said above by a combination of several factor and I had a lot of fun writing it.
The idea of Cat as Ariel was particularly inspired by the fan art I seen of Ariana Grande as the Little Mermaid.
And of course Jade would know Tori was setting her up, you don't stay with someone for so long without knowing the inside and out of their mind.
The Golden Bender is based on the Funko toy from the Futurama episode "The Farnsworth Parabox" where we meet an alternative version of Bender which of course he is seen as a gold robot.
Also, how Tori introduced herself was reminiscent of how Troy McClure did so in the Simpsons and don't worry, Tori wasn't going to post anything online, she recorded Jade's shenanigans for herself as she loves it when Jade shows her "silly side" and it's not a side Tori wants to share with the world, only she gets to see Jade this relaxed and funny.
I guess I should also have to point out that of course when it comes Jade's time to do a speech in front of the Academy, she would of course be far more respectful, maybe a bit more playful and she of course would no doubt make sure to thank Tori first because while she wouldn't admit it, the fact that he made a speech on the bathroom was like a "screen test" to see just how Tori would react if she was accidentally left out or if she was mentioned last, Jade may have been teasing her wife but she was also testing her.
At any rate, what did you guys think of this idea? Constructive criticism is always welcomed.
Invader Johnny Signing Off.