A perfect life...
Isn't this what everyone desires? People don't have it and of course, the grass is always greener on the other side. But what does it really take to have a perfect life? People who have lived through it and know the cost of it. Drowned...not lived. That's what a perfect life often times does.
It drowns you until your lungs burst till you suffocate and eventually...die.
Sadly.
Bella experienced it and you can clearly feel when you see her even for once.
A perfect profession,
A perfect house,
A perfect spouse...
Isn't this what a perfect life should look like? People who have lived this perfect life don't appear experienced, wise, mature or anything else. They look scary. Just that...SCARY.
Nobody wants to be friends with you. Nobody wants to be around you because when you do have one perfect life you can't be around people. You just simply can't.
All you have is perfect things in your life...just like her.
And once you get inside this blackhole of perfection...you can't get out. It's not even like addiction that once you are sober you are good to go.
No...!
Once you try to cut yourself off, you get more and more and then a bit more entangled in the vicious branches and trunks of this evil tree called PERFECT.
It ate her alive.
She was living as a dead.
And who knew ...no one.
Her closest friends...?
Articles all over the internet about her perfect husband, her perfect career and the finer things in life.
But can anyone really know what her life was like and what her husband was like. The articles show the story of someone who is tragically distant from her. No one knew what her husband or her life was like. No one knew what she was like. Probably not even herself.
A struggling star who got a major leap in the last couple of years. Well, destiny comes in play often times just like when she met him for the first time.
It was 9th of May and it was sunny in Texas. She had just been there for a week to visit her granny. That's what she called her...granny. That's all she had. Her mother died of cardiac arrest and her father was never really in the equation to begin with. He left her mother months before she was born. But she was tough. Tougher than what she looked. She never cried. She was dark but strong enough to hold herself in the painful times. And when she did know about her dad, she stayed just there, in the moment, absolutely silent. Silence was her weapon.
No one can cross paths with death. Death eventually crawls over you engulfing the soul within.
Her granny had a migraine problem for decades now and the doctors were hopeless about her condition. It was deeper and detrimental than a migraine. Her granny being the optimist always affirmed that she'd be better and the Jesus had her back but the question was till when. Ultimately, it had to come. Just like it does for everybody.
And it very well did and also with a massive shocker when everyone expected it the least. Bella knew that it had to come but little did she know that it would bombard at her like an avalanche in the middle of the night.
Back in Texas, it was humid and with the immense pressure of getting her granny to the hospital before anything tragic happens was just like making a person sit under the constant flow of a huge waterfall and give them an umbrella to keep them from getting wet.
Her granny was lying on the bed. For the past hour, she had been lying just right beside her but then it struck. Her granny never slept so quietly as of right now. Weird, it was...
She always snored while sleeping or inhaled noisily. But right now she was quiter than the silence.
"Are you sleeping?" Bella asked
"Hey?"
"Granny?"
No response.
She looked at her granny who lay on the bed lifelessly like a corpse. It scared every drop of blood inside of her if the dreaded thought inside of her would come true. She reprimanded herself in the moment to even let her thoughts venture to that terror.
She kept a finger under her Granny's nostrils and she didn't feel any hotness as of exhalation.
She took her left arm and gently pressed the nerve on her wrist.
She felt not a single beat.
Her blood pulsated quicker than ordinary while her head grew hotter like the steamer as if the cranium might just explode. Everything tumbled down in the moment crashing onto her like the quaking tall building which collapses eventually on the ground.
What to do?
She didn't know...her mind wouldn't let her think.
It was running to a million different places and the only thing that kicked in her was to get going. Start moving. Get her granny to a hospital.
She took her granny by lifting her up from the bedroom to her SUV settling her on the backseat of the car where her head propped backwards.
She got into the driver's seat quickly turning on the ignition, charging forward. It was around midnight by now and a crescent moon was hanging in the sky among all the stars. The street lights helped the sight seem a little early than midnight. She looked at her granny in the rear mirror as if she might just magically wake up any minute. Was it the best decision to drive all the way to the hospital?
Could she have done something that would have changed the scenario... or probably not. She tried to remember for how long was her granny like that... She remembered everything...all those years she'd spent in that house.
She majored in interior designing which was one of her hobbies and so far fledged from medical science. But her path was music. Even with the first aid kit she wouldn't have gone anywhere.
Her face looked sweaty, almost oily. She'd be extremely grateful if for once she would have gotten a clue before all of this happening. Like a warning an hour ago. But then it wouldn't be reality because reality never drops cues. She loved surprises but this created ripples of tremors in her heart which got solid and solid as if her heart was pounding, not beating.
But was she already dead?
She is not...that's what she told herself over and over and over again while driving. For a moment she felt that she saw her move...flinch probably.
"Granny?"
No response.
Her voice cracked slightly as if on the verge of crying but her face looked so grave and solemn and far from crying.
But she was sure she did see her move. She kept her eyes on the rear view mirror but now she was wrong.
Horribly wrong.
She never saw the tree coming. And there it all went downhill. The car collapsed to a tree on the left side of the road and she didn't even have the time to shriek. That's how quick it happened. Or probably she was so tightly caged inside her mind to even let out a reflexive action.
It went thrashing in the thickest trunk of the tree which stood in the headlight for a moment and then the lights blacked out. The hood and the grilles of the car were hideously distorted by a major blow in the middle. The grilles were unrecognizably shattered along with the headlights.
But now there was nothing...
Silence and the voice of bell ring insects.
No consciousness on the part of both. She lay on the driver's seat eyes closed, unconscious just like her granny. There seemed no difference between the two now. When it did come back to her, she found herself in a private ward in a hospital.
She didn't know which hospital because she didn't come here on her own.
Her eyes opened and for a moment her face looked so serene and her eyes so dreamy as if she forgot all the worries that had been conquering over her mind time and time again.
Her eyes opening slowly and then blinking fast when it all came back to her.
She looked around and her granny was nowhere to be seen. Such a big white room with enormous rectangular glass windows, white curtains and everything just pure white.
Why weren't here any other patients?
Was it even a hospital...?
It did look like one...
Was she in purgatory or something which the people say we go to after we are burried deep in the casket.
It certainly looked but didn't feel like one. She knew the paradise wouldn't have chains tied to her mind as they were still coiling on to her brain right now.
Her granny was in the hands of god and she couldn't bear the thought of losing her. The reason why it hurt so much was not because she was the only one she had left. It was different. Whenever she imagined her face inside her head...she saw not the optimist who smiled so cheerfully that her eyes looked so sympathetic with those wrinkles on the outer corners of her eyes.
It was the lifeless corpse who just looked grim and exuded agony. The corpse and the optimist were two very different people and looking at the corpse never reminded her of her own granny.
This was the saddest part...her granny was not dead. She was lost somewhere. At least for her. As if her granny knew what was coming for her. But then she never spoke of it. Never...
Whenever she sat with her on the porch listening to the sounds of nature, her granny would always smile and be so kind and sympathetic that everything was as wonderful as it could get. Looking at her gave her hope that her life was so much better than what she took it to be.
And the night at the hospital was one of a radical kind. She had lost her hope and she mourned for her granny. They say the timing of the universe is perfect. It very well is. She was in the deep dumps of the despair and who pulled her up?
Not god or Jesus.
But someone who probably god sent to pull her from the shallows and make her see the life with a different lens. And for once, embrace herself and acceot that her granny was gone and resting in peace.
She was on the verge of losing everything. Nothing mattered and everything felt futile but he came and saved her heart from stopping. He gave her a newfound hope and a reason to keep thriving and became her heartbeat.
If he would have been a couple minutes late in his arrival and getting Bella and her granny safely to the hospital then it would be a different story altogether with no Bella in it. This is how accurate the timing was and when it comes in play it always seems illogical but then are miracles ever logical?