It had started with him stupidly letting Raihan talk him into drinking.

"Obstagoon is unable to battle! Raihan is the winner!" As the announcer called out those words, the crowd went wild. Piers crouched down by his exhausted Pokemon, the dark type struggling and ultimately failing to get back up.

Piers' cyan eyes followed Raihan as he waved at the crowd, posing with Duraludon whilst his Rotom phone buzzed around him. His hand idly patted Obstagoon as his partner quietly whined. "You did a good job. Get some rest." His ace Pokemon disappeared into his pokeball with a flash of red light and Duraludon soon did the same before Raihan turned to him with that dazzling grin of his.

"Great fight as always, Piers!" The other man held out his hand, winking as he quipped, "I was afraid you'd grown rusty since retiring."

"Ah piss off," he whispered back, firmly gripping his hand. "I still pride myself in putting on a good show, ya know?" Despite the bite to his words there were no true sparks, a smile creeping on his face as his opponent started laughing.

The two of them watched the screen change to show the next match up, the gym leader's face popping up next to the current champion's. Piers felt Raihan gently clap his shoulder. "So, Lee and I were going to go for drinks after I wipe the floor with Gloria, wanna join?"

Piers did not attempt to stifle his snort, smirking. Marnie had scolded him for going out drinking last time, something about property damage. But as long as he made sure his Team Yell pals didn't tag along, all should be fine. "Sure, I'll help Leon pick you back off the ground after she wastes ya. Don't disappoint your fans, a'right?"

With those words he had left his friend as the intermission started, seeking out Marnie before it was time for the finals.

Agreeing to hang out with his rowdy friends after the tournament concluded was clearly a bad idea he judged as he had woken up with a thumping headache. The last thing he remembered was getting dragged around Galar, having to separate Leon and his overexcited fans at every turn. They had already started drinking but had not become drunk, per say. He was not sure at what point the alcohol had truly started setting in, but the last venue he could picture was a small place in Ballonlea that he had never realised existed. What a blur of colours that memory was, though that could have been just Ballonlea being Ballonlea. He rarely visited because it felt like he was tripping every time he set foot.

His feet seemed to twitch at the thought. He was feeling cranky and the headache was growing worse, he was struggling to open his eyes and he could hear snoring in his ears. Piers wondered if the three of them had fallen asleep outside again, he could feel a cold breeze. Cold breezes were nothing new in Galar, when everyone marvelled if the weather remained nice for a week.

Finally he opened his eyes and realised that at the very least, he wasn't in Ballonlea anymore. The sky was a bright blue as he looked up, the trees in the immediate vicinity a vibrant green and wow they were bloody enormous. Grumbling to himself he heard his voice come out kind of scratchy. He must have drank himself stupid, though his throat did not feel particularly sore. Suddenly he had a powerful urge to yawn, vision going fuzzy as he turned to look around.

If Marnie or Raihan had heard the shriek that left him, he would have never heard of the end of their teasing. But he felt it was a little justified as he looked at the sight before him, prompting him to wonder if someone had slipped drugs in his drink again. That was the biggest Trapinch he had ever seen, it was almost twice his size he estimated as he looked at the sleeping Pokemon. For a moment he wondered if it had been dynamaxed. He reached out a hand to touch the snoozing giant. A paw pressed against the Trapinch's snout.

Another screech wrecked the forest.

"Agh… I'm up, I'm up, jeez," Trapinch seemed to grumble to itself as it stirred awake, blinking slowly as it stared at Piers. Piers was frozen in place, his mind unable to process the situation. The Trapinch was talking. He had paws. The Trapinch wasn't abnormally big but he was abnormally small and this was surely not where he had passed out and he couldn't see Raihan and Leon and-

He started slapping his fluffy cheeks with his paws, yelling at himself to get a hold of himself. Surely he was still drunk. Maybe someone had slipped something in his drink. There was some explanation for why he seemed to have grown hair in places it wasn't before and this Trapinch was now staring at him with its green eyes… He had never seen a Trapinch with green eyes before. But he had never heard one say anything but its name before, either. He never owned a Trapinch but he knew a little about them from when Raihan's Flygon had just hatched out the egg, and it did not have green eyes. He repeated this to himself to reassure himself, that maybe this was a bad dream, when he heard the Trapinch mumble to itself.

"Oh for God's sake, I knew I shouldn't have drunk so much. I didn't know getting too wasted could make you see things though… Huh, I've never seen a Zigzagoon slap itself before. Where's my Rotom phone when I need it?"

Piers stopped in his tracks, as natural Galarian Zigzagoon instincts made his tongue roll out his mouth. "What the - Raihan?!"

Despite the words being slurred by his sudden loss of control over his new body, the Trapinch gawked at him in a sign of clear recognition. "Wait a bloody minute - Piers, is that you?"

A strangled noise left the dark type as the Trapinch jumped him, stubby legs, arms, whatever they were, wrapped around him in a clumsy hug. "Agh! You big lump, off me!" Piers thrashed under the Pokemon that was apparently his friend, as the ground type made a noise that sounded crinkled yet was clearly a laugh.

"Great, I'm not alone in this weird fever dream! Are the two of us both tripping?"

"Get off, I don't think this is a dream," he growled as he finally got control of his tongue again. Despite natural instincts seeming to tell him to start a scrap for fun, his growing panic was not settled. "What the heck happened? How did we go from drinking in Ballonlea to… This?" He pointed with his paw at the beautiful plant life, then at himself and Raihan, who had finally stopped squishing him.

"Maybe someone put the mushrooms in our food." Raihan shrugged as best as a Trapinch could shrug. "Never mind that, we were with Lee, weren't we? Where's he?"

At his words, Piers found himself doing another scan of the area. He had a point. It was the three of them last night, and their former champion friend was nowhere to be seen. He brought his paw to his snout, exhaling. "Who knows, what I do know is that this ain't normal."

"No shit, Sherlock," Raihan responded with a snort. It sounded oddly funny coming from that weird new body of his. "Guess we better go lookin' for him then-" As he moved, he suddenly halted then looked around, at himself, then made a strange yelp, Piers jolting in response. "Ah, where'd it go?!"

He followed his friend's frantic eyes, irritation returning along with his hangover. It was as though it had decided to spare him during the panic, only to return when Raihan started freaking out. "Where did what go? Your Rotom phone?"

Raihan spun around again, peering down at his underbody. "My dick! Where the bloody fuck did my dick go?!"

Piers stared at him then turned away. However, he was unable to stop the laughter spilling out of him. "What the bloody heck do you mean, you bloody idiot? Have you ever seen a Trapinch with a dick? You used to have a Trapinch, remember?"

"Yeah, but I never had to worry about that with my boy Flygon- How the fuck am I supposed to piss?" he gasped out, prompting Piers to snort and lightly whack his sturdy shell-head.

"Have you ever seen a Trapinch piss either? I don't know about you, but in my 23 years of life, I ain't ever seen a Pokemon go potty. Now getta hold of yourself, we need to work out what's going on."

Raihan reluctantly followed his Zigzagoon friend, a question pestering his mind as he thought over Piers' words.

Finally, he let himself voice them.

"If Pokemon don't have dicks, how do they reproduce?"

"How the fuck am I 'sposed to know?"