Why Uchiha Toru Should Never Turn His Back On His Friends

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The Corruption Of Uzumaki Boruto

"Uncle, what's polygamy?"

Naruto winced.

"Look… I don't want problems with your father." He said. "He's graciously letting us stay for free — and boy has rent gone up in here, how can they say it's inflation and believe it? — oh, and he's pretty strong too, overall. I guess."

"Stronger than you?" Boruto tilted his head.

Naruto laughed and rolled his eyes.

"Of course not, don't be ridiculous, Boruto."

"That's what dad says too." Boruto said.

"And your dad is wrong." Naruto nodded sagely.

"That's also what he says about you."

Naruto chuckled fondly. "Ah, he really is a man after my own heart, that one, isn't he…?"

"You didn't answer my question." Boruto pushed.

Naruto glared at him. "You are a pushy little shit, aren't you…?"

"Swear jar!" Boruto's eyes widened.

"We're not in your home, Boruto." Naruto scoffed. "And I don't care about your mother's rule of terror in general… even less here."

Boruto folded his arms.

"Well, Mom says you're a bad influence."

"Mom's right." Naruto nodded.

Boruto grinned. "I knew you'd say that." He paused. "Can you influence me some more?"

"I guess."

"So…?"

Naruto sighed. "First… Who called me a polygamist?"

"My aunt." Boruto scratched his head sheepishly. "Well, she said plenty of other things, but I'm not allowed to say this sort of words."

"Hanabi?"

"Who else?" Boruto laughed.

"I don't know, things are very strange here." Naruto shook his head. "Apparently Neji was a good guy, or something equally ridiculous."

"Hey!" Boruto looked offended. "Uncle Neji was the coolest guy — I was named after him."

Naruto chuckled. "Considering your dad's logic, you're lucky you didn't end up being Uzumaki Obito."

"Who's Obito?" Boruto asked dubiously.

"What do they teach you guys in school…?" Naruto shook his head.

"Taijutsu, Ninjutsu, Genjutsu—"

Naruto stared at him. "What about… history?"

"Oh yeah, we have that." Boruto nodded proudly. "My dad's in a lot of the tales."

"Tales…? Figures."

"Did you know that he saved princesses when he was younger?" Boruto grinned. "There was a boat princess, a snow princess… a Moon princess—"

"I call bullshit." Naruto nodded evenly, ignoring young Boruto's shrill screams about a swear jar. "I didn't save princesses, so I highly doubt that he did."

"But…"

"Boruto…" Naruto sighed. How childish of him. "History is written by the winners."

"B-But…"

"Have we or have we not established that your dad is ready to lie when it's to his advantage…?"

"…And you wouldn't?" Boruto squinted.

"Of course I would!" Naruto laughed.

"Why should I trust you, then?"

Naruto nodded proudly. Boruto was getting better at rhetoric.

"Ah, but you see… that's the beauty of it." Naruto smiled. "You don't have to."

He put his hands on Boruto's shoulders. Naruto smiled.

"Whatever you do from now on is on you, Boruto. You're twelve or thirteen… not a kid anymore." He said wisely.

Boruto beamed. Finally! Someone who saw him as he truly was.

"I'm not a kid?"

"No." Naruto chuckled.

Boruto grinned. "So will you teach me what polygamy means…?"

Naruto sighed.

He had trapped himself in a corner there.

Boruto looked at him, face scrunched in revulsion.

"You mean…" He shook his head. "I can't believe it."

"Believe it." Naruto nodded wisely.

"Four… four of them…?"

"Five." Naruto scratched his chin. "…For now, at least. Ino's a bit… reluctant about my pen-pal anyway — …Yeah, five sounds fine."

"But… But you're not even married." Boruto exploded.

"Boruto." Naruto rolled his eyes in fond disappointment. Boruto felt his stomach clench at the sight — Uzumaki Boruto never disappointed. "What is a marriage?"

"The ultimate expression of love between two individuals?"

"No, that's an open soul bond between romantic partners." Naruto snorted.

"…What?"

"Nevermind. What's love to you anyway…?"

Boruto frowned. "Love is… love."

"Thank you, Boruto." Naruto said dryly. "That's very helpful."

Boruto reddened. "How should I know?!"

"Let's try something different, then." Naruto mused. "I love you."

"…What? Really, Uncle?!" Boruto blinked, with wide eyes.

"See the problem?" Naruto asked.

"…What problem?"

"What does that mean, exactly?" Naruto asked. "What does love mean? And what does it mean to love someone?"

"Uh…"

"In this context… Since I'm the one who said it, I can decide on my own definition for the word "love"."

"I don't follow."

"You can read my body language, intonation and facial expressions to gauge your own interpretation of what I mean by "love" through said context. Then you can ultimately create your own definition therein, deciding what "love" means to you."

"But that's normal!"

"What if someone else says it?"

"Like who?"

"Like your dad."

"He's my dad, of course he loves me." Boruto said easily.

"Of course, of course…" Naruto scratched his chin. "If it's a classmate?"

"Well, that depends—" Boruto interrupted himself.

Naruto grinned. "See?"

"…"

"I love my partners, I love my friends and I love cheating at games." Naruto said.

Boruto frowned.

"So which do I love more? And how do I weigh that differential?" Naruto asked. "Are my love of cheating at games and my love for the sealing arts two different types of love or are they the same type of love but at two differing scales?"

"…They're different things." Boruto frowned.

"Is my love for the sealing arts stronger than my love for cheating at games or good meat simply because the subject matter is more personal?" Naruto asked. "Hard to say, really. How I weigh the importance of either as subject matters against how I weigh my love for cheating at games as a subject matter will differ between us as well."

"U-Uncle…? Where are you going with this?" Boruto asked. "Mom says that I shouldn't let you twist my mind for your own nefarious goals—"

"Now let's take this concept on a larger scale. Let's assume everyone in our society hears the word love and begins using it, all of them with differing meanings, all the while it's seeded in obscurity. With love having such a wide-spread difference in its connotation, which person or definition is inherently right? As subjective as love has now become, it could literally mean anything… to anyone. Love becomes an abstract word. Throw it in with a concept like… marriage."

"Uncle?"

"Given the difficulty involved in interpreting any one person's meaning for the word love and people constantly shifting their own personal meanings for love based upon other people's context, any one person could easily get away with using love as a justification. Picture it… Imagine a man, a woman… who's afraid of being alone, and driven by fear, decides to stick with someone."

"…Okay?"

"Their friends will ask them — man or woman, we're only talking about one person… Why are you still with him/her? He/she's terrible. Bad for you." Naruto stared at Boruto. "What does the man/woman answer…?"

"How should I know this…? I'm thirteen!"

"Don't play the kid card now… I had sealed a monster when I was your age and was halfway to starting my own village." Naruto waved him off. "They answer… "Because I love her. You wouldn't understand.""

"…"

"Is it a wrong use of love?" Naruto asked. "Because clearly the person has used love as a means to skirt the real issue at hand. But with love being so hard to define… is it wrong to say it?"

"…No?"

"Because if nobody agrees on what love means, it's impossible to give a wrong definition. And then they can use it as a shield behind which they can protect their ego from the results of inaction, ignorance… fear of the reality of their situations."

"But what are you trying to say…?" Boruto pulled at his hair.

"Your dad and I have a very different definition of the word love, of course." Naruto nodded wisely. "And your mother would say I don't… love my partners, of course. Which is obviously wrong — I just happen to have a heart big enough to love several people at the same time."

"I can't follow you." Boruto whined.

Naruto sighed. "All I'm saying is that love and marriage have nothing to do with each other, Boruto."

Boruto stared. He had the feeling he just had been fleeced.

"…So you just told me all this to tell me that living in sin is fine?"

Naruto shook his head fondly. "No."

"That's what I'm getting from it." Boruto said. "Or maybe you just enjoy telling me my parents are wrong."

"I do, but that's not it. They're not wrong about everything." Naruto admitted magnanimously.

"Maybe you should just marry Yugito-san — or pick one of your… your partners." Boruto tried hopefully. "Then mom wouldn't—"

Naruto laughed.

"But I'm married already. Not that it matters."

Boruto stared, feeling more and more lost.

"But Yugito-san—"

"That's only Yugito." Naruto nodded, sage-like. "I married the four others."

"…You can do that?" Boruto looked ready to tear his hair out. Nothing made sense anymore. He had thought marriage was between two people.

"I can." Naruto shrugged. "It's probably not for you — too much trouble. Not that I would know about it, things go very smoothly for me."

Boruto… took it as a challenge.

Later on, Sasuke would curse both of their names — and this exact discussion, once he figured out where things started.

He had wanted to rebuild the Uchiha clan.

Not the Uzumaki.

"And that's probably why the story didn't make any sense." Hanabi shook her head.

"It's just porn." Sakura said dubiously.

Hanabi stiffened. "…I'll let it slide this time, wife."

"I don't get why this aphasia thing's bad, though."

"Think, Sakura. Think." Hanabi growled. "Erotica. Written by a writer who doesn't have an imagination."

"But they do." Sakura frowned. "That's not what aphasia means."

Hanabi glared at her. "Do you know what aphasia is, Sakura?"

"…Do you?" Sakura chuckled.

"It's when someone doesn't see things in their mind's eye."

"Sure."

"Not anything like a lack of taste, like Toru, mind you."

"Naruto, too. He has a big, Thunder-shaped blind spot when it comes to naming things." Sakura said. "Had Shinjiro and the others not been around, we probably would have ended up with something far worse than Umi."

Hanabi snorted. "Lightning Archipelago. Yeah… that bad — people would have thought we were some Kumo offshoot. Now… — let me finish — I close my eyes. I don't see anything. Tell me… "Think of a green orange.""

"…Like, literally?" Sakura frowned.

"Yes. Like, literally."

"Think of a green orange, then."

"Oh, no! I can't see it." Seeing that Sakura was about to retort… "Because… I can't picture anything in my head."

"…Okay."

"That's aphasia. Of course Amamiya compensates for this with tons of weird scenes that the reader then feels they've read somewhere else already — because they probably did! The woman can't come up with any new ideas to save her life!"

"That's prejudice, and besides… Look… I didn't read the porn, Hanabi." Sakura threw her hands up in the air.

"Then you don't even know what we're talking about here." She shook her head. "No mind's eye — can you even imagine?"

"…Is this supposed to be a joke?" Sakura squinted her eyes. It was hard to tell with Hanabi, sometimes.

"A joke is supposed to be funny." Hanabi said.

It wasn't a joke, then.

…Or Hanabi just pretended it wasn't one — dismissing it like she got rid of bad comics, her own or Toru's.

"You!" Hanabi's voice called out.

Sakura turned to look at her. But Hanabi was staring at someone else.

Well… at herself, in a way.

The seemingly identical woman — perhaps a few years older — stood on rooftop. Menacingly.

'…Did you meet her already?' Sakura asked.

'Of course not. She wouldn't be this angry had she gotten the chance to talk to me.'

Sakura kept her thoughts about this to herself.

"I won't have you corrupt my nephew." Other-Hanabi warned.

"…Who? Zoruto? I barely even spoke to him." Hanabi snorted.

"Well your husband did." Other-Hanabi retorted.

"You can say it without sneering, you know." Hanabi said. "We are married. This is no deviant sex group."

Sakura looked at her from the corner of her pretended not to see her.

"And we are the Hokage's… esteemed guests." Sakura nodded.

"Whatever." Other-Hanabi spat. "Tell your husband to—"

"Mine?" Sakura asked.

"Or mine?" Hanabi frowned.

"Yours!" Other-Hanabi raged, pointing at Hanabi. Then at Sakura.

"Ah…" Sakura nodded slowly, as though she were speaking to a particularly slow child. "Yes. He is the same man, after all. How could I forget…?"

A vein throbbed on Other-Hanabi's temple.

"Look." She breathed in and out slowly. "You're lucky that as a Hyuuga, I am a master of my emotions."

"…Are you really?" Sakura jeered.

"…I will say it only once. Leave Boruto alone."

"His name is not Boruto." Hanabi rolled her eyes. "He's your own nephew, how can you fuck this up so badly?"

Sakura shook her head, just as disappointed.

Other-Hanabi inhaled sharply.

Hanabi looked at her carefully, as though she suddenly realized something.

"Say, would you be interested in joining us for a night?" She asked. "We're not really looking to expand — Ino's always a bit uptight about these things — but since you're me, it doesn't really count, anyway."

The words took a while to register with Other-Hanabi.

Sakura frowned. "Perhaps that would be awkward."

Hanabi rolled her eyes. "Of course not. Have you really never read any selfcest?"

"…Can't say I have."

"Well, Karin would agree with me." Hanabi said petulantly.

"Karin thinks with her clit." Sakura admitted non-committally.

With a scream of frustration very unbecoming of the future Hyuuga clan head — not that Hanabi really cared about an alternate version of her former clan —, Other-Hanabi threw herself at them.

A fight against two of her brother-in-law's guests.

Instinct told Hyuuga Hanabi — the one from this world, not the uncouth stranger — that she would get some shit for it. But well… she had been chewed out before, she could manage. Father had not been scary in years, anyway.

And just hearing the two of them talk so… so vulgarly… Hanabi knew there was no way it would have ended up otherwise. How could they even have been the same person at one point? She was nothing like this… this harlot.

As her other self, Hanabi assumed that the other was strong, at the very least.

So she threw herself toward the pink-haired one — Uzumaki Sakura (nee Haruno), she knew. There were plenty of Gentle Fist strikes that she could use to knock her down, without risking facing her monstrous strength.

"Oh no, she's coming right at me…" Uzumaki Sakura muttered. "And her next words are going to be… 'What? Something something my eyes…'"

Hanabi went through her.

"What?!"

"Called it." The bored woman answered.

"Not really." The other said.

A firm hand grabbed Hanabi by the scruff of her kimono, like one would pick up a disobedient cat.

There was a flash of white light and the three of them found themselves in an empty training ground.

Hanabi's hand flashed to strike the hand holding her—

It was already gone.

"Feisty one." The other said.

"…I mean, she's you." Uzumaki Sakura rolled her eyes.

"Not at all." Both Hanabi and the other said at the same time.

Hanabi launched into her attack, twin Vacuum Palms blasting forward. One aimed slightly to Sakura's left, the other one to the other's right. The goal was of course to split them.

Two on one odds was bad enough.

"Well, that sounds like a long discussion I want to play no part in." Uzumaki Sakura said. She caught the attack absentmindedly and turned her back to Hanabi. "Yeah, I'm out. I'll let you girls to sort it out."

'What…?'

"I didn't really expect anything else." The other laughed. "Well, see you for dinner." She stared at Hanabi. "Perhaps lunch."

Uzumaki Sakura was gone.

Hanabi launched into a flurry of deadly — figure of speech, killing guests was frowned upon in the Hyuuga clan, except if they happened to be from Kumo and happened to have kidnapped the clan's heiress — strikes.

A single of these attacks would be enough to debilitate the other.

"You know, there really are better ways to go about fighting a former Hyuuga than using the Gentle Fist." The other said. "I think."

Hanabi realized that soon enough. The other was dodging every single strike.

She was growing frustrated.

"Are you going to fight or not?!"

"That would be rude of me, really. You're just a Jōnin — you made the cut, right?"

"Silence, harlot!"

"Rude." The other frowned.

Then Hanabi found herself launched forward, uncomprehending.

It took her longer than she would have liked to realize she had been thrown.

In the same beat, most tenketsu on her arms were closed forcefully and something pressed her face into the floor.

The pressure released. The other was still sitting on her back.

"Are we good?" She asked.

Hanabi raged and tried to free herself.

The other sighed. "If I see you gathering chakra in any way, I'm binding you." A pause. "Same if you go for the hidden dagger in your sleeve — or the flash-bang in your pocket — or the seal on your right ring finger, I don't really like being set on fire. Ah, don't bother with the—"

"I got it." Hanabi growled.

"Good."

She was released. Hanabi blinked. Was the other this overconfident…? Then again, could it even be called overconfidence if she could back it up…?

"So?" The other asked.

"So what?" Hanabi spat.

"What do you think about my proposition?"

"It's a no." Gods, was she baiting her again?

"You don't want to come with us either, as my equal — nevermind, that's clearly not true. In order to rule the world together?"

"No."

"See…?" The other frowned. "My wives give me shit about being self-centered, but whenever I try to do something nice for others—"

"I'm not coming with you." She repeated.

"But you haven't even met my husband and wives yet." The other rolled her eyes. "Sure, he can be a bit boorish sometimes, but he's amazing, really — still surprises me and I've got amazing eyes, as you may know. Pretty easy on the eyes, too. And Karin—"

"I am not—"

"Yes, got it, got it." The other raised her hands. She muttered. "Not like I want such an ungrateful version of me to join us, Ino gives me enough shit as is."

"Can I go now?" Hanabi asked sourly.

"Sure, sure." The other nodded, waving her off. "Think twice about attacking people next time, though. Ah, also, I think Naruto considers Noruto to be his nephew now, so I guess your quest was a failure."

Hanabi stiffened. "His name is not—"

"Do I look like I care?" The other shrugged. "Not my nephew, not my problem. I'll have my own soon enough anyway."

"…A child?" Hanabi scowled.

"No. A nephew — well no blood relation but that's less important than family, we're not Uchiha." The other frowned. "Well Hinata has children already, too, but they're still a bit… screechy."

"Screechy…?!" Hanabi screeched. "They are your nep—"

"Yes, exactly like that." The other nodded. "Why do you care, even...? They're not yours."

"That's…" Hanabi didn't even know where to begin.

"Say, you're the clan head right?"

"I will be, soon."

"Did you ever get around to removing the Caged Bird Seal?"

Hanabi stilled. "I just told you I'm not the clan head yet."

"I don't think I get your point. I'm not the clan head either and yet…"

"Look, it's not that easy to do away with centuries-old tradition and—"

"Sure seemed like it was to me." The other mused.

"I'm doing what I can—"

"I'm disappointed in you and I'm revoking my invitation to join us." The other said evenly, nodding to herself. "Go find your own husbands and wives."

"I — Don't — Care." Hanabi gritted out.

"Besides, I mostly said that to make Sakura leave anyway." The other said.

"…Mostly?"

"Sakura can be squeamish."

Hanabi squinted her eyes.

"Unless you're interested, of course." The other nodded. "I can probably convince-"

"I'm not."

"Thought so. I don't really like slavers, anyway."

"I'm not the one who came up with that shitty seal!" She was starting to be a bit irritated.

"Isn't your brother-in-law the most powerful man around — before we came I mean, of course?"

"…"

"Are you even trying?" The other rolled her eyes. "Maybe Sakura is right — I am self-centered. If it took me getting the damned seal in the first place to figure out that maybe this clan was kinda fucked."

"…I really hate you."

"Oh come on." Hanabi rolled her eyes. "I know us better than this. You don't hate me, you just hate that I'm right."

Uzumaki Ino's Day Off / A Letter From Home

Ino finally took a day off.

Admittedly, no one had forced her to work, but as a time-traveling, dimension-hopping, space-bending, certified mind expert… she found herself in an unique position. It would be a shame not to take advantage of it.

So sure… Hanabi would tell her to take it easy, because she had seen Ino get really obsessive, back when everyone was actually dead.

Sure, Toru would find random reasons to pop in, keep her company or distract her until she gave up altogether.

Sure, Karin would steal her stuff when she really needed a break.

Sure, Sakura would drag her off to the weirdest destinations she could think of, calling it a girls' trip.

Sure, Anko would order her to go do something fun.

Sure, Naruto would pick her up and throw her over his shoulder.

…Alright, maybe she could get too much into things. That wasn't a weakness, that was a strength. Who else could say they had played a hand in transforming a small village into a true force to be reckoned with, all the while being involved in a myriad of different projects?

…Ah, yeah.

That damnable, white-haired witch could.

This immortal… succubus, whose sent pictures and letters seemed to get more and more provocative as time went on — as though she knew Ino was reading them too, because Naruto didn't believe in hiding this sort of thing from her. Oh, sure… she hadn't crossed the line. Yet. But Ino was no fool.

And no… despite what Karin said, she wasn't jealous. They were five women to one man. The ratio was bad enough.

Was she the only reasonable one? Because she didn't want more people?

So sure… Ino may have been the one to bring Forehead in, back then… But she was her best friend — some days —, so that didn't count. And stupid girl was in love, anyway; what did it matter if Ino had to share one more thing with her?

Talking to Karin about these matters was a lost cause anyway; she didn't give a single shit about that. Hanabi was a lost cause, too. But then again, she saw other women as something halfway between a pet and a fun thing to play with, likely to be discarded soon after. Fucking Hyuuga complex, really. It didn't matter that she wasn't even part of the clan anymore.

Whenever Sakura seemed to be anywhere close to reasonable on an issue… Ino knew things had gone very, very wrong.

Whatever.

It was her day off, anyway.

First thing. Pants…? She didn't need those. One of Naruto's large shirts would be enough. Same thing went for stupid things like underwear.

Second thing. Bad food, snacks aplenty. If it sounded like it was bad for her… in her mouth it went. It was not like it mattered anyway.

Third thing. Entertainment. This world had TVs everywhere. And some decent shows. Bad ones, too. From terrible soap operas to crime drama to cheap horror to good horror.

Fourth thing. Company. Naruto would do just fine — best for last, he would say.

Which was how they found themselves splayed on the couch, her cheek pressed against his bicep, as though it were a pillow.

"That's a terrible show." Ino said.

Naruto chuckled. "I know. It's great, isn't it?"

"Good pick." She smiled.

Of course, two episodes in and she felt sleepy. Naruto's comfortable warmth behind her, his other arm around her felt like a lullaby to her. Besides, it was cold outside.

'Pretty warm here, though.'

She gave in and fell asleep. Not for long, though.

When she woke up, Naruto himself was asleep. Looking at his youthful face, it was hard to believe all the shit they had gone through already. He had been so remote, once. As a kid… and even more so at his worst.

Not so much anymore.

She nestled herself against him, feeling entirely too comfortable. That was where she belonged. And with their wives.

"Love you." Ino muttered.

He just muttered something half-coherent in answer.

There was a knock at the door.

Grumbling, Naruto stood up and put some pants on. Ino came right after him.

Was Karin back from Kumo already? Naruto just assumed that she would not stay there as long as Yugito or Akemi would — since she had no particular relationship with the village, unlike the other two. Toru probably would stay too, but he was whipped, to Naruto's unbiased eyes. One wife, really - well, partner, technically -...? Was he even trying?

He shook his head and extended his senses.

Naruto opened the door, knowing who was behind the door. Had Boruto told his dad something stupid again…?

"Hey there, Hokage." He greeted.

"You uh… got mail." The Hokage said, not meeting their eyes.

"What?" Naruto blinked.

"…Inter-dimensional mail, I mean." He muttered. "I opened it without realizing it wasn't meant for me, so uh… Sorry. Here, I'm leaving. Yeah."

He forced the thick bundle into Naruto's hands before departing.

Ino gave him a curious look, but he had no answer to that… so he simply shrugged.

"Probably Anko again." He said. "Maybe the baby is born — I find it hard to understand time, some days."

He prepared some tea, and they sat down to read it.

To Uzumaki Naruto - NOT Uzumaki Naruto, Seventh Hokage of the Village Hidden in the Leaf.

227 Yaingū, Kakawa Ward. Konohagakure no Sato. Land of Fire.

Dear Naruto,

Did I perhaps say that humans might be filed in categories?

Well, if I did — and Amaterasu knows that I can have a penchant for disdain, in spite of my best efforts — let me qualify. Not all humans.

I have received all your letters, but none has affected me like the last.

How can you think, you charmer, of sending me such a mind-bending, heart-stopping book? Do you believe that my longing to meet you again, to finally speak with your beloved ones is not already painful enough without further increasing my yearning to see you and subverting my reason…?

You elude me.

I cannot file you. I cannot place you. I cannot grasp you. When it comes to every other man, every other woman, I believe myself to be able to understand their future actions; that ninety-nine times out of a hundred, I may read their hearts' desire.

But of the missing one hundredth, I cannot say the same. It is beyond me. You are that one hundredth.

Fool that I am, I fail to realize how far off you are, how far off all of you are, in truth. The lands, the provinces, the worlds that separate us. Time, even; for I do not know if it truly has been months or much more for you.

Nor do I know how long it will be before you and your loved ones read these lines, the weak expressions of a fevered soul.

I do not know what fate awaits all six of us; or perhaps it is seven, now? You never clarified what your child's mother decided on, in the end. There was a time in which I prided myself on my strength. Today the uncertainty of that is strangling me. You cannot imagine how much I look forward to our next meeting.

I stop, dear Naruto; for this is terrifying me enough.

I am at Port Wazuho, near Asani; tomorrow I shall be at Nigiso. I am pretty satisfied with the state of the world around here; Although I do find myself slightly out of touch with modern customs.

Kind regards to Karin, Yugito, Hanabi, Toru, Sakura; compliments to Ino.

Do write me soon again!

Ever your friend,

Yoisen :)

P.S.: I have heard in passing that the younger generations make use of these little drawings to convey emotion, do tell me if that's an appropriate use of it.

P.P.S.: I have attached a picture to this letter, as is customary. A young woman - she is but forty - has educated me in the art of modern courting. I hope this one shall prove to be sufficient, for I find myself slightly anxious about this sort of matters. Forgive me in case it is not - and I shall rectify my mistake.

Both Ino and Naruto reached the end of the letter at around the same time.

They shared uncomprehending looks — they had written their last letter to her together. Nothing in it warranted this sort of response - it had been an admittedly warm letter about a book Yoisen might like, considering everything. Ino took the aforementioned picture from the thick envelope.

She almost dropped it. Naruto made a choked sound.

That… was definitely crossing a line or three.

"…What the fuck?" Ino asked.

"What the fuck?" Naruto echoed. He was starting to sweat. In fright, mostly. He was pouring near scalding tea all over his thighs.

Ino recovered faster, and realized the crux of the problem.

"…Which book did we send her…?"

"Well, the architecture one!"

Ino looked at him. Really looked at him.

Architecture.

"So you mean… Something like The Death and Life of Great Worldly Cities?" Ino asked.

"Yes, that one. Wait. …How do you even know the title?" Naruto blinked.

Ino gave him a very unimpressed look. "Because you left it on the shelf, mostly. It's still there, now."

"...But that's impossible, I sent Yoisen the book."

"Not that one, apparently. A book."

"Then which—" He cut himself off.

"Which book…?" Ino asked. "Was it the same day you were buying… romance, porn, whatever… with Sakura?"

"Yes." Naruto nodded. "We got a dozen of books in total — you know I like to read whatever I get my hands on. Not necessarily porn, though, I'm no Hanabi — There were plenty of different ones, though. Adventure books… Cosmic horror… One about two lovers who are stranded from each other, unable to confess, to meet and express their true, hidden feelings and so they resorted to writing letters full of innuendo—"

Ino stared at him.

Naruto winced.

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