World #07 - Shazu
"Sharing-on!" Sarada called.
"Yes, that's the way." Sakura nodded proudly. "Get him right in the eyes! Don't look away!"
Sarada did as she was told. Her Sharingan was spinning lazily, and the man in front of her was looking particularly sleepy.
"…And now?"
"Now, you overwrite his will with your own." Sakura said encouragingly.
Sarada frowned. "…That doesn't sound very nice."
"Yes, you're right." Sakura said. "I worded it pretty badly. It's more of a... nudge - Now, since you know better than him, why don't you just implant a suggestion about how things are going to go?"
"…Isn't that the same thing as overwriting his will?"
"Not at all." Sakura laughed. "This is just giving him a helping hand."
"Are you sure?"
"Of course."
Sarada began doing as she was told - her mom had told her to trust her teachers, except if it involved sake and card games at the same time.
"Don't skimp on the details, kid." Sakura said. "You really want the guy to think it was his idea in the first place, it makes him less likely to fight back—… to change his mind."
Sarada hesitated. "…Fight back?"
"He's a bad guy, Sarada. Fighting back is what they do."
"Is he?" Sarada asked tentatively. Perhaps it was alright, then…?
'Probably.' Sakura thought. "Sure." She nodded. "Besides, that's stuff he would do anyway, we're just moving things forward a bit earlier."
With renewed confidence, Sarada's Sharingan began spinning.
"So I should feel bad about using people, right…?" Sarada asked hopefully. Perhaps she could be a ninja and still keep some sort of moral code—
Sakura laughed and laughed.
World #?
"Naruto, will you wake the hell up?!" She yelled, knocking on his door.
The teenager moaned in consternation. It was still dark outside, why did he have to get up now…?
"You're going to be late for school, 'ttebane!"
Ah, yeah.
There was that.
"Dad just left! Without you, mind you." Kushina announced from downstairs, and true to her words, he heard the car start. "You're going to have to walk."
Naruto sighed and finally removed the pillow from his face—
He stared.
A man that could have been his older brother — aside from the strange tattoos under his eyes and the three on each side of his face — stared at him.
So did a woman with long dark hair, and similar markings.
Naruto shrieked — well, he was about to.
The woman moved fast, much too fast for him to even understand that she had moved in the first place. She silenced him with her hand.
Naruto hmphed, tried to produce a sound. But something about the way she had wrapped her hands around his mouth made him unable to do so.
"Make a sound and I will have to slit your throat." She threatened.
Naruto wisely shut up. His bladder felt very full and he didn't want to tempt fate.
"Good. Can I release you... or will you cause trouble?" She asked.
The other man just stared at him blankly, looking about as lost as Naruto felt himself.
Naruto just nodded his assent.
"Don't scream for help." The woman warned, lowly.
"Who the hell are you?" Naruto hissed. "What are you doing in my room?"
"Look, I have no idea, kid." The man said, scratching the back of his neck. "Where are we?"
"We're in Tokyo." Naruto said. "In my fucking room."
"What's Tokyo?" The man frowned.
"It's the capital of Japan."
"What's Japan?" The woman asked slowly.
"It's an island country in East Asia."
The two others shared a look. "East Aja?" "Why do you speak our language?"
His temper rose. "Why do you speak mine…? Why are you here?!"
The man shrugged, looking sheepish. "Circumstances. Shit happened, and I reacted—"
"He completely freaked out." The woman corrected.
He glared at her. "I didn't — As though you were faring any better — there was a damn Kaijū outside of our sub!"
"Did you have to warp us away?!"
"You grabbed me!"
"I tried to help you, you utter fool!"
"If that's what you call help, I shudder to think of—"
Naruto stared at them, slowly getting worried. The two were clearly unhinged. And who knew what these lunatics would do to him if he tried anything.
"Look, what do you want from me?" He asked.
"Nothing much." The man said. "We just want someone - you - to answer a few of our questions."
Naruto breathed in. Breathed out.
"…Shoot." He said.
"Why is there almost no chakra in the air?" The woman asked.
"Yeah, the Pyramid thing is barely recharging." The man said, shaking the thing like a mystery box.
'Of course they would believe in esoteric concepts.'
"…Look." Naruto tried. "I don't know much about Hinduism… Tantra or even meditation, really."
"…What are you even mumbling about?" The man asked, frowning.
"Chakra!" Naruto exclaimed. "I don't know shit about that!"
The woman frowned. "…Aren't you Uzumaki Naruto?"
"I am!" He said hotly. "What does it have to do with anything?"
"You just said you don't know shit about chakra!" The man said.
"I don't!"
"You're a Naruto, civilian or not." The woman declared.
"You don't know how to do this?" The man asked, getting more and more frustrated. He twisted his fingers in weird shapes, and there was a peculiar smell in the air.
"Gama, don't—" The woman began.
"My name is not Gama!" He roared. "I am Uzumaki Naruto! From the land of Fire!"
He spat a tongue of flame.
Naruto shrieked.
Kushina heard it and came running up the stairs.
The woman and the man shared a look.
"Hush, now. If you say anything…" She warned Naruto. "You're going to wish you were dead."
"Wha—" He began.
There were twin clouds of smoke. They faded before Kushina slammed the door open. And the two of them were gone entirely.
Naruto was overventilating, or so he thought.
"What the hell was that?" She asked. "I heard you scream." She looked him up and down.
"I - uh…" Naruto looked around in a frenzy. He could almost feel the woman who had been just a second ago glaring at him. "Nightmare - Just a bad dream - Don't worry mom."
Kushina frowned. "But you were awake."
"I… fell back asleep?" He said lamely. "It's... It's all good. Promise."
"Well, no wonder you're always late." She rolled her eyes. "What are you waiting for? Get ready for school."
She exited the room again.
Naruto looked around. There was no one. Had he actually been dreaming…?
Something that looked like a pillow on the floor muttered to him.
"We're still here." It said.
"Don't act suspicious." His bed cover said.
Probably not a dream, then.
…
"Is she gone?" The pillow asked.
"I'd say so — it's hard to feel things when there's almost no energy in this world."
"Is she gone, Nacchan?" The pillow asked.
"…Nacchan, really?" the cover shot back. "You hate these world-hoppers for giving you a nickname… and the first thing you do is give this guy one…?"
"Well, I am Naruto. I wouldn't want the confusion." Then, addressing Nacchan. "Is she gone?" He stressed.
"…Yeah, she just left with the bike."
There were two puffs of smoke and the two people were standing back in Naruto's room. He closed his eyes and the nightmare resumed.
They seemed pretty subdued, in a way — which was strange, was it something to do with his mother? His grip on reality seemed tenuous enough, so he didn't dare push it.
"A… bike?" The woman asked.
"A bicycle — a metal contraption that civilians use in the Land of Earth. It's kinda unpractical — like being a civilian." The man said. "I don't give a shit about that, though… That woman… she was Kushina, right…?"
Both of them were staring at Naruto.
He nodded slowly. "That's my mother's name, yes. But I mean a motorcycle, not—"
The two others shared a look. "Who's your dad?" The man continued.
"…It doesn't matter." The woman retorted.
"It clearly does."
"Can't you see he's blond…? Who else could it be…?"
"I'm sure there's more than one blond man in… In..?"
"Tokyo." Naruto supplied helpfully - dying later beat dying now. "My dad's name is Minato."
The man let out a relieved sigh. The woman frowned.
"I told you—" She began.
"Whatever." The man ignored her. "My name is Naru—"
"He's Gama and I'm Hebi." The woman cut him off. He glared at her, and it was obvious his temper was rising. "If you give him a nickname, it's only fair that we use yours, isn't it…?"
"It's not!" He said heatedly. The air seemed to become heavier, and Naruto inched away from him some. "You're just fucking mad."
Hebi scoffed. "Why would I be…?"
Gama chuckled. "Because you're away from snake-dad and this one didn't manage to cuck my dad…?"
Hebi blinked. Then blinked again. She breathed in and out. The stupidity was getting to her. Fast.
"…And pray tell… Why do you believe I am away from snake-dad…?
"Because I just rescued us?" Gama laughed.
"Rescued us?" She asked incredulously. "Do you think you saved us?!"
"Well, of course — you should have seen how scared you were — You should be thanking me, really." Gama insisted.
"Thanking you? Thanking you?!" There was no hissing this time, she was quietly... roaring. The air felt electric to Naruto, who crawled away. "You used up all the energy in this pyramid-thing and now we're stranded here! In this accursed Tokijo city! Because you freaked out!"
"I didn't freak the fuck out!" Gama retorted. "Never — Uzumaki Naruto feels no fear! Unlike you!"
That apparently did it.
Naruto got the impression she was a woman who tried — and usually succeeded — to keep her temper in check. This man — Gama — apparently pressed the exact buttons he needed to in order to trigger her.
"You — are — an — imbecile!" She said shrilly, punctuating each word with a finger poke that made Gama wince.
Was it just Naruto's imagination, or was her hair standing up on its own…?
Ah.
He was going to die, wasn't he…?
"Don't call me an imbecile, you…"
"You what?!"
"You snake-faced demon!"
"I'm going to show you a demon all right!" She roared. "And you're going to wish you tamed yours!"
There was a shimmer of gold around her entire frame and the floorboards groaned. So did Naruto, muttering piteously - and was it his imagination, or was something growing there...?
"Please guys… My parents just bought this place." He moaned. If they began fighting… "Mom's going to kill me."
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World-Eater's Den
"And… that's about it." Karin concluded.
Everybody was here. Except Sakura — who was still at large, doing things that the others felt being in the know would only bring trouble. That included Matatabi — who didn't seem to really care about the latest development.
…As well as Orochimaru — from #323 — and Jiraiya — from #327 —, who had been brought in by Naruto. Both of them were looking around in confused fascination.
Sasuke was staring at Jiraiya with a tight face, but he knew that no matter how familiar the man looked, they were strangers to each other.
Ino sighed. "You didn't find them, then."
"No." Karin shook her head. "I jumped through the portal, and found myself back in Gama's homeworld — and they weren't here, I'm sure of it."
Naruto sighed. He drummed his fingers on the table.
"I guess we'll have to find them the old-fashioned way."
"…What is it?" Orochimaru asked.
"Well." Naruto shrugged. "Exploring every possible avenue. What do you think Gama was thinking about, when he activated the Runic Pyramid?"
Karin and Jiraiya shared a look.
"He was afraid—" She began.
"He wanted to go home, I'd say." Jiraiya began at the same time.
"…Somewhere in between, then?" Naruto frowned. "…Out of danger?"
"Hebi reached for it, too." Orochimaru said quietly.
"…So her own thoughts influenced the destination, then." Naruto scratched his chin. "Maybe we would be better served by waiting it out."
"Until they actually manage to coordinate enough to get back…?" Karin frowned. "There's no way that this is going to happen anytime soon. And that's counting on them actually being together right now, and not stranded on their own."
Naruto sighed again. "Yeah."
"…So should we go looking for them?" Toru asked. "They might find themselves facing some real trouble, out there."
"Why should I?" Hanabi tilted her head. "I'm not particularly impressed with either."
"Well, you don't have to." Naruto shrugged. "This is on me and Karin, so you can just do… whatever, while she and I—"
"Okay, I'm coming." Hanabi decided. Naruto had expected it.
"Suit yourself." He shrugged. Toru gave them a distinctly unimpressed look. "Ino?"
"Sure thing." She nodded. "It's going to be faster with me around."
"Yugito?"
"Of course. Matatabi is the better tracker, so she and I—"
"I am not going with him." The Bijū motioned at Naruto, somewhat rudely.
Naruto rolled his eyes. "We can split, of course. Let's figure the specifics later. Sasuke…?"
Sasuke snorted. "Are you kidding me? I don't give a damn about what sort of stupid shit you guys were up to in other worlds."
"Very selfish of you." Hanabi chided. Sasuke raised an eyebrow.
"Fair enough." Naruto nodded. "And you have these little devils to raise."
"They are not that bad." Sasuke muttered.
"Not even Jiraiya?" Toru asked, nonplussed.
Jiraiya stared.
"…Not you." Sasuke told him. "And no, he's… he's… great." He finished weakly.
"You named your son Jiraiya…?" The man asked. He nodded encouragingly. "Names are just that, names; tied to the ego itself… But Jiraiya is a great name." He laughed.
"…Glad you approve." Sasuke looked away.
"Say. Do you think I could recruit Itachi to find Gama and Hebi?" Naruto mused. "Or Shikamaru, maybe? Hokage-me has his own private assistant and I'm kinda envious."
"No." Sasuke said firmly. "Neither. Someone has to actually do the work you're neglecting."
"He just delegates the paperwork." Karin frowned.
"I thought this was what your clones were for." Ino frowned too.
"Well, yes, sure." Naruto acknowledged. "But they might still want to live a little, you know…?"
"And Itachi doesn't…?" Sasuke stared at him.
"Sure, sure." Naruto waved off. "Perhaps you're right, last time I saw the man, he had some deep stress lines on his face."
"…Itachi always had those." Ino interjected.
"Well, he's always been overworking himself." Toru shrugged. "He barely even played ninja tag with us, preferring to stay indoors and be gloomy and all…"
"Wasn't he like seven years older than you?" Akemi asked. "This might just have been it."
"Itachi feeling too mature for the rest of us mortals has been a staple of our life, really." Toru deflected.
"That is true — But no... Naruto. you can't put more shit on Itachi's plate." Sasuke concluded.
"…It was more of a rhetorical question, my spiritual brother." Naruto said.
"Don't call me that." Sasuke said hotly.
"Can I?" Toru asked.
"Yeah, that's fine." Sasuke shrugged.
"That's a bit unfair." Naruto frowned. "What did I ever do to you, Sasuke?"
Sasuke stared. His mouth opened—
"Never mind." Naruto cut him off. "Let's not ruin this cozy mood with valid accusations."
"He sure can hold a grudge." Hanabi said easily. "It's a clan thing — maybe a brother-in-law thing. I killed my cousin, do you hear me complaining about it?"
"Hanabi, don't start — and I am not his brother-in-law." Sasuke retorted.
"I meant mine, through Hinata."
"Oh."
"How is she, by the way?" Hanabi asked.
"We're fine, really. …Yeah, fine." He said. "A bit exhausted, because… well, the kids. But everything is fine."
"You said it thrice." Toru noted.
"Did you know that in another world, a Hinata married Naruto?" Hanabi asked easily.
Sasuke stared. "Now that's just disgusting."
Naruto shrugged. "Don't look at me like this, I have nothing to do with this. She probably just loves Asura, or something."
"What kind of stupid theory is it, this time?" Sasuke frowned. "We don't get memories from them."
"You don't." Naruto rolled his eyes.
Sasuke seemed to hesitate.
(Maybe he did, from time to time.)
"There's more. Sasuke married Sakura — I think they're married..." Ino frowned. Sasuke looked a bit disgruntled at the idea, too. "I think Itachi did a real number on that poor man — and I'm afraid to even read his deeper thoughts. What could cause a man to marry her…?"
Naruto frowned. "Hey, now. I did — and you all did."
"That doesn't count." Ino rolled her eyes. "It's charity, in our case. Because who else would…?"
"Ah, that's fair, then."
"What does Itachi even have to do with this?" Sasuke frowned.
"You should really come with us." Hanabi laughed. "There's plenty of strange things to see."
"…I'd rather not."
"Kurenai-sensei is still alive there." Toru supplied helpfully.
Sasuke blinked. "Even then. Not the same person."
"See? He gets it." Karin muttered. "Why can't everyone?"
"He had more time." Ino shrugged. "Well, let's get started on making a workable mental map of that guy's mind, based on what you know about him. It should narrow down the possibilities some. You'll help me here, Jiraiya. Karin, Naruto too."
"What of me?" Orochimaru asked.
Jiraiya gave him a strange look. "…I don't think you're going to be very objective about painting a representation of his mind."
"And you will be…?"
Jiraiya shrugged. "I'll try, at least."
They slowly began to work.
"By the way, Sasuke." Naruto began. "Any news from back home?"
Sasuke thought about it. There had been that thing on the moon…? "No, not really. Nothing important happened."
Naruto nodded. "I thought so."
World #01 - The Moon
A few matted tendrils of putrid flesh slithered away.
A boot stomped down, crushing most of them. The rest were quickly burnt away and vanished into smoke. There was an acrid smell in the air.
Yoisen breathed out. "That should be the last of it."
Orochimaru sat on an upturned stone, lips pursed. He looked as exhausted as she felt.
"…Is it always this strenuous?" He asked.
She smiled mirthlessly. "This wasn't so bad, I would say. A long Thursday."
"Please remind me not to involve myself in this next time." He said, standing up again.
Orochimaru began rummaging through the ruined temple. Yoisen watched him do so, curiously.
"Hidan." He just said. "I think he was caught in a jutsu. Let me find him."
After ten minutes of digging, he pulled the disembodied head out.
Hidan just stared at him, eerily silent.
"Huh." Orochimaru blinked. "Did meeting a… false god do something strange to you?"
No answer came.
"Understandable." Orochimaru nodded. "If this thing can be killed, I am sure this raises a few uncomfortable questions about Jashin itself — you probably don't feel too safe, right now. Understandable as well, mortality really is a bad deal."
"You may taunt him later." Yoisen said. "He doesn't talk back, anyway. We still have this Ōtsutsuki woman to deal with."
"The one who's waking up?" Hidan asked shrilly.
"Oh? Are you talking again?" Orochimaru smiled. "I was afraid we broke you, which would be a shame — I have grown quite fond of you, Hidan — Oh come on now, do not cry."
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Ōtsutsuki Kaguya woke up for the first time in more than a thousand years, to an audience of three.
Kaguya woke slowly.
The first sign that she was alive again was pain. But then again, she was unable to die at all, so perhaps this was not a complete truth.
The second sign that she was alive was that she was breathing again.
How… strange.
The third sign that she was alive was that her consciousness was whole again.
From the bleariness, she had slept for a long time.
There were two people facing her - and a head.
One had the body of a child, but her keen eyes told her that there was a story here. Appearances could be deceiving.
One... lacked a body.
The last of them had the telltale white hair that she associated with Ōtsutsuki.
Kaguya stiffened. In her condition, there was no way she could fight another.
But then again…
Her chakra seemed much closer to human in its nature.
The pale hair itself was just as likely to happen in a human who ate a chakra fruit - and this came with a few unpleasant possibilities to her. Kaguya could see no Byakugan, and she was certain the woman did not look like she belonged to any of the branch families.
…How much time had passed?
The disembodied head spoke. "She… she is…"
"A… goddess?" The woman tilted her head. "She's simply an Ōtsutsuki. Do not get things mixed up, Hidan."
Kaguya stared.
Waiting.
"It has been close to a thousand years." The woman addressed her. "Seeing you, I assume the tales of the Savior's defeating a monster by sealing it inside... the moon might have held some truth after all."
Kaguya's eyes tightened. And so did the veins around them. The Savior, then?
"Hagoromo." She said quietly.
There were very conflicted feelings here. One of her traitorous sons. Was he alive, still...?
And… Where had her Will gone to? She couldn't sense it.
Her full chakra was far out of reach, too, courtesy of her sons.
"Chakra…" Kaguya muttered. "Chakra belongs to me, and me alone."
"Oh, dear." The woman said. "Here we go again."
The child dodged the All-Killing Ash Bone with uncanny ability. He had been expecting it.
He made a strange seal and Kaguya's body froze entirely. She barely had time to think.
"A shame." He muttered, as his Wind-enhanced blade removed Kaguya's head from her body. "I had hoped… Well, I suppose it doesn't matter."
Kaguya didn't die.
Her body began to reform instantly.
"Of course." The non-Ōtsutsuki woman nodded. "I would have been surprised."
The child smiled brightly.
"How… fascinating." He said.
He grabbed the disembodied head. "Not so unique after all, are you, Hidan?"
There was only fear and confusion in that man's eyes. "Please — Send me back, Orochimaru — It's not…"
Kaguya's chakra burst from her, intent on bringing them to their knees. And it worked. Both of them kneeled.
Bone shaped itself into jagged spikes, erupting from her palms.
The other woman stood up and dodged it.
Kaguya stared. "What…? You… Can stand up?"
"…" She frowned. "Is this a big deal?"
Orochimaru frowned too. "Give it a rest. I'm tired of that trick."
"Shall we seal her again?" The woman asked.
"What…?" Kaguya muttered. "Do you believe that—"
They were talking over her.
"I don't think I can." Orochimaru mused. "I am still somewhat unused to these eyes."
"Then perhaps we should have thought this one a bit more thoroughly." The woman frowned.
"Yoisen…" Orochimaru sighed. "My preparations were more than enough. And my jutsu clearly works on her."
"Foolish." Kaguya scowled. "Everything—"
Orochimaru made the same damnable seal and Kaguya froze again.
"That tends to be a common pattern when it comes to immortality." Orochimaru said. "Overconfidence, that is. That includes me, and I shall be more mindful of it in the future."
Yoisen gave him an unimpressed look. "You are not really convincing me, as of now."
Orochimaru shrugged. "Let's hear her, shall we?"
Kaguya's mouth became able to move again.
"An immortal…?" She asked. "You? Preposterous."
"Of course." Orochimaru nodded. "The way might be different, but… A phoenix is said to be immortal… And so is the Great Snake. When the phoenix grows old, it throws itself into the fire, and emerges renewed. To my eyes, that is perfection. There is more to it than avoiding death."
"…Are you perhaps insulting me?" Yoisen tilted her head. "I merely do not age."
"I meant no offense, of course."
"You did."
"Certainly not, I do have respect for my elders - those who earned it." Orochimaru said.
Yoisen squinted her eyes at him. Then she dismissed the thought. He truly seemed to see it as a compliment.
"So… death is not something we can use in her case." She said.
"No." Orochimaru said. "But I have developed measures for something like this, thanks to Hidan's constant company — How peculiar, her chakra is very similar to the Bijū's… Were you affiliated to them, by any chance?"
Kaguya didn't bother answering.
"Of course, of course." Orochimaru nodded. "Well, not much I can do to force you to answer."
Kaguya stood there, frozen.
"You won't be able to break this seal." Orochimaru said . "We have two choices here."
"…One is particularly unwise." Yoisen warned him.
"I disagree." He said. "We both have plenty to learn from the other — once we agree on a few… terms and conditions for her stay."
Kaguya stared.
"You can tell me your story once we are back on Earth. Of course, I'm afraid that you will be quite limited in your movements as a guest, but I am certain this beats the alternative." Orochimaru offered.
Kaguya tried to glare at him.
Yoisen sighed. "Could you at least make sure she's not hell-bent on destruction, world-subjugation or… anything like it?"
"Well of course." Orochimaru nodded sagely. "That comes later. I do admit that I can be too curious."
Kaguya saw the man in a child's body extend a hand toward her, before he realized it had no use, as she was still frozen.
"Will you come back with us and help us along, answer a few questions… or will you stay here, waiting… frozen for the rest of eternity?"
World #07 - A few hours later.
Senju Tsunade — mostly Tsunade, really — enjoyed her days as a retired kunoichi.
Still, she tended to stay close to Konoha. You never knew when Naruto was about to pull some strange stunt, after all.
The last few weeks had been an exception, as she had been traveling away from the village. Shizune was not with her, which might have been an opportunity for her to drink a bit too much, once.
She still enjoyed a drink or two, of course, but that was nothing compared to before.
Gambling, on the other hand…
Tsunade stared.
LAST CHANCE: ENSURE YOUR ENTRY IN SHAZU'S HIGH-STAKES POKER TOURNAMENT!
WHICH ARE YOU: A QUITTER… OR A TRUE GAMBLER?
THERE ARE TWO KINDS OF QUITTERS, BUT ONLY ONE TRUE GAMBLER.
THE FIRST KIND OF QUITTER IS DRIVEN BY FEAR .
SMALL-THINKING QUITTERS ARE ABOUT TO MISS OUT… BIG TIME!
Cowardly quitters play only on "good days" at the casino.
They're anxious to lose their hard-earned money.
…And they're about to regret it.
THE SECOND KIND OF QUITTER IS DRIVEN BY GREED .
You read that right. Greed.
The timid quitter fears losing everything — that's greed!
They try to "hide" their money from the casino.
They only try to play it "safe", investing in things like stocks. Because they're greedy.
And ironically…
They ignore real money-making opportunities… such as gambling.
They don't trust the rush.
They don't understand the mind-bending thrill only a real win can bring.
BAD NEWS: OVER TIME, BOTH TYPES OF QUITTERS LOSE MONEY.
Good news: True gamblers can make a killing… TONIGHT!
And that's who I'm writing for — people who both want to create exceptional wealth and play for the thrill of the game. The world's bravest men and women!
If you're a true gambler... then Shazu's the place you want to be at tonight.
Well… that is…
IF YOU ARE ONE.
Nobody called Tsunade a coward.
Sarada glanced at her work once more.
The ads had been placed in a few different cities, extremely fast — the Sharingan was apparently helpful like that, you just had to pick someone influential.
Sarada stared.
"…Is this really a good idea?" She asked Sakura. They had written the ad together.
Sakura laughed. "One of the best I had recently, yes."
"…Isn't this a bit… shady?"
"Which part?"
"…The… the whole thing." Sarada motioned with her arms. "The message… the… the fake tournament? Sure, most people won't try to even enter such a last-minute thing — if it even works, but…"
Sakura blinked. "…I'm not sure I get your point."
"People will be sad that there is no tournament."
Sakura stared at her. "I'm confused. What is your point?"
"…Well that's sad." Sarada said firmly. "Isn't it?"
Sakura thought about it. "Not really."
"But…? What do you think of this? What do you think of making other people sad?"
"But, Sarada." She chuckled ruefully. "I don't think about other people." Sakura said. "I only think about the people I love."
"But…"
"You've been a good apprentice, Sarada - so far." Sakura nodded proudly. "And I have decided that I care about you some."
"…Really?" Sarada blinked. "I thought that you—"
"I think I can try to care about your feelings too… in due time." Sakura nodded magnanimously. Sarada paused.
"But there is no tournament…"
"Sarada…" Sakura shook her head. Haruno or not… Sarada's age showed. "Nobody wins, when gambling — besides the house. In truth, we are doing the world a favor. Think of it as protecting people's money."
"I don't know — Are you sure…?"
Sakura smiled genially.
"I am more than sure, I am Sakura."
Tsunade reached Shazu in less than an hour.
She might well be over seventy now… but she was still Tsunade.
Of course, she quickly realized there was no tournament.
Her goddaughter was waiting for her, along with a woman that might as well have been Sakura's younger sister.
Tsunade frowned. She obviously had been tricked.
"…What is this?" She asked. "If Sakura put you two up to staging an intervention, I'll outbid her—"
"Auntie!" Sarada rocketed forward, wrapping her hands around Tsunade's waist. The woman's eyes softened — Tsunade's eyes, that was, not this pink-haired woman with mismatched eyes… and a Sharingan?
"Hey there, kiddo." Tsunade asked. "Have you been well?"
"Sure!" Sarada grinned. "Sakura is my new sensei, she has been teaching me plenty of things!"
Sakura…?
"…What sort of things?" She asked slowly.
Sarada shrugged, looking a bit sheepish. "I can't say."
"Oh…?" Tsunade raised an eyebrow, keeping a seemingly casual arm around the teenager. "And why is that…?"
The other woman stared at Tsunade, looking… disappointed? She mumbled something about Sakura's sister.
"Because that's my blackmail material—"
"We call it a bribe, Sarada." Other-Sakura supplied helpfully. "Blackmail has pretty bad connotations."
"Oh, yeah, true. Sorry!" Sarada said. "It's a bribe."
"…What for?" Tsunade frowned. What was going on here…?
"You have to come back to watch the exams, Auntie!" Sarada said. "I am participating and so is Boruto."
Tsunade's eyes softened. "Ah, that is nice. It doesn't explain much about the situation, but—"
"Sakura is a time-traveling, dimension-hopping alternate of my mother." Sarada began. "She used the Rinnegan's power to come here and now she awakened my Sharingan and taught me how to be a real ninja, and not this pretend-wizard thing that they teach in the Academy."
Sakura nodded.
"Is your mother aware of this…?" Tsunade asked.
Sarada thought about it. "She knows about Sakura, yes." Then, carefully. "And she does know that I'm outside of the village with my sensei."
Tsunade squinted her eyes. Her bullshit detector was starting to tingle.
Other-Sakura didn't look particularly worried.
"And besides…" Sarada muttered conspiratorially. Sakura nodded proudly. "It's the Chūnin exams. You can bet on me — you'll make a killing!"
"…Alright, you got yourself a deal." Tsunade sighed. "Let's go to Konoha, then. I feel pretty blue-balled, right now. Maybe this exam will do."
"Oh, Sarada forgot to say." Other-Sakura said. "Orochimaru's son is participating, too. He's her teammate."
Sarada nodded. "Mitsuki's our teammate."
Tsunade almost walked into a wall.
"…What?"
World #01 - Umi
Ōtsutsuki Kaguya came down from the Moon.
…
The group of four warped down to Orochimaru's spire.
"Well, no matter how… unwise I feel this decision is, I do understand that she is at least leashed." Yoisen said quietly.
"Well, of course. But that is wording that Kaguya might take offense to, as our guest — Besides, I have been more than fair with my conditions." Orochimaru declared.
"Humans' arrogance has only grown since my time." Kaguya said placidly. "That you would presume to be able to shackle me—"
"Well, unless you planned on doing anything like..." Orochimaru paused.
He stared at Kaguya.
"Did you plan to go for world domination?" Orochimaru frowned. Only silence answered him. "Huh. Really...? That is quite unambitious of you - I expected more." He shook his head in disappointment. "Peers are so hard to find."
"This world is my nursery, and as such, only I am fit to—"
"Things have changed a lot since your time." Orochimaru cut her off. "Of course, I can simply offer you to go back to the moon and wait there forever."
Kaguya clammed up.
"How would you even know…?" Yoisen asked him. "You were not around, back then."
"It is true." He acknowledged. "But I intend to be here in a thousand years. And as such, it only makes sense to listen to what helpful advice a few fellow immortals might have for me."
"Including Hidan?" She asked wryly.
"Besides him, I mean."
Hidan, carried by Kaguya in a jar, didn't bother answering.
"Now, I believe I have upheld my end of the bargain." Yoisen said.
"Of course." Orochimaru nodded easily. "I will uphold mine."
They didn't mention the Rinnegan explicitly. Bound as she was now not to go against them or not, there was no real point in provoking Kaguya while she was at her most volatile — hopefully. One pair was bad enough.
"I thank you for it." Yoisen said, bowing her head lightly. "I expected you to, as Naruto's trusted mentor."
"…Is that how he described me?" Orochimaru asked, blinking.
"The words used were more on the more... informal - perhaps rude, even - side, of course, but I can read between the lines."
"Of course, of course." He nodded easily. "Anko has a scroll ready for you — I would suggest a change of clothes, we are covered in this…"
Orochimaru gestured toward the putrid, oozing mix of liquids that he had bathed in.
"It is mostly you." Yoisen said, shrugging. "But I do believe I could take the time to mend my own equipment, yes."
"We should have something your size, as—" Orochimaru began.
A newcomer interrupted him.
"Yashagorō-chan!" A woman's voice called out.
Orochimaru sighed.
"Of course it had to be now." He muttered.
"There you were!"
Yoisen watched on, bemused.
"Kaoru." Orochimaru said with a tight face. "Can it not wait until later? — I am quite busy—"
"Oh? I'm terribly sorry for interrupting." The woman — Kaoru — said, very falsely. "Perhaps mister… big bad ninja should have thought of this sort of thing before impersonating a child in order to exploit the decency of honest people."
"I apologized already." He muttered. "Kaoru. I will arrange for a child in need to-"
She glared at him. "Mother. Call me Mother. You brought this on yourself, Yashagorō-chan. And the child will be your sibling."
"…I apologized already… Mother." Orochimaru sighed again.
Both Yoisen and Kaguya's eyes went from one to the other. As for Hidan, well… he knew about this already.
"Hmpf." Kaoru nodded firmly. "That's better. Now who are your friends?" She asked brightly.
Orochimaru introduced them in the blandest, least interesting way.
"I see." She nodded. "Do come around for dinner, all of you — All this time alone in a dark spire cannot be good for you, and I am sure it contributed to this whole crime business you were involved in, in your last run. Not on my watch, Yashagorō-chan!"
"I am afraid I might not be available for dinner." Yoisen excused herself already. Seeing as the woman was about to continue. "Kaguya is, though, of course."
There was a heated glare that might have been impressive, once upon a time.
"Fantastic!" Kaoru smiled. "I will see you then, then!"
Orochimaru sighed. "Yes… Mother."
She disappeared around the corner.
Yoisen stared at Orochimaru. She opened her mouth.
"Don't." He cut her off. "I know."
Yoisen shrugged. "Where are the baths, then?"
"…Showers, you mean?"
"Showers, then? How quaint."
"Anko." Orochimaru greeted. "I have come back. There won't be any need for any of our contingencies - you can put the Moon Cannon away, and we probably won't need to push it into the sun either, as much as I do like borrowing ideas from Nagato."
Anko stared at the four of them.
"…Why is the white-haired one radiating malice…?" She asked.
"I am sorry." Yoisen apologized. "We have been fighting just a short while ago—"
"No, not you."
"That is Ōtsutsuki Kaguya." Orochimaru introduced.
"Like the fairy tale…?"
"Yes, like that — also you are invited to dinner tonight - you know where; she insisted. Tell Shisui he can not run from it forever, either."
"…Sometimes I wonder if I should just have stayed in Konoha, back then." Anko mumbled.
"Nonsense." Orochimaru shook his head. "What does not change bores you, just as it does me… You would have suffocated, in such a place as the village."
"…I have my doubts, really." Anko sighed, and motioned for the group of four to come in.
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