Teachers: The Silent One
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World #340 - The Shadow's Man.
Toru and Akemi appeared out of thin air.
They both stared up at the fortress.
"Huh." Toru blinked. "Is that Uzushiogakure?"
"Of course not, it looks nothing like it."
"How should I know...? I was dead at the time." Toru frowned. "Don't be rude — ah come on, don't make that face, I'm joking."
"You do realize it was pretty traumatic, right…?"
"I wouldn't know, I was—"
"Don't."
"Alright, alright. I wish I was done making that boat — we could have had such a grand arrival, because whoever lives inside that castle has a great sense of dramatics."
"It's obviously an Evil Orochimaru's."
"I bet it's a Naruto again… and not only because that's what I tried to calibrate the jump for — if it's not a Sasuke stirring trouble, it's almost always him." Toru declared. "…Probably one raised by Orochimaru, I'll give you that."
"Are the defenses around this place any good?"
"Your shinobi education is wholly inadequate, dear." Toru shook his head. "You're lucky that I am a Tier 0 threat."
"Stop." Akemi muttered. "It's never going to take — your chart, I mean. Also, you're like a Tier 1, at best."
"Please call me once you make it to the list at all, dear."
"Once I make it to the list, I won't need you to teach me the ninja arts anymore, and I'll just move on to somebody richer and/or more handsome." Akemi rolled her eyes.
"Oh, please. If you could do any better than me, you wouldn't be stuck in between worlds." Toru chuckled.
"What if it's part of my plan to catch Naruto's attention?"
"Well, I hope you enjoy getting murdered by Ino, then." Toru shrugged. Akemi laughed.
Toru turned off most of the castle's defenses and they worked their way in.
"Gods! This place reeks of blood." Akemi muttered.
"It's part of the evil-overlord mystique." Toru nodded. He turned more serious. "You really don't have to come."
"I want to."
"Alright, if you insist on getting some ninja-trauma, who am I to deny you...? Let's not waste our time here, though. I'll send a few clones to see if there's anyone being detained around."
He did so, and gathered chakra to his leg in the same breath.
"Mind your head — Rising Dragon!" Toru pushed from the floor and soared high, shattering several ceilings on his way up.
He landed in a cloud of dust. The following wave of Wind lifted it, and Akemi crawled through the holes with a grunt of effort.
They were in a large throne room.
"You alright?" Toru asked. "Don't tell Naruto I stole his move again."
"Sure — I just hate cardio." She was a bit out of breath.
Toru muttered something about civvies and got a kick to his shin for his troubles.
There was a rattling sound and Toru threw himself forward in a roll. A glimmering shield — courtesy of the prism she was carrying around her neck — blurred to life around Akemi.
Toru spun and threw twin arcs of blue fire in retaliation. He considered going for his sword for a moment, then dismissed the thought.
The rattling chains smashed against Akemi's shield harmlessly. The energy of the impact was redirected outward, and it cleared the rest of the smoke.
Toru weaved a few casual illusions in order to make the man stop attacking them.
"Gods, he actually has a throne." She blinked.
"Told you — he can't help it." Toru nodded.
The man sitting on the throne frowned.
"Who are you?" Uzumaki Naruto asked.
"Sorry to bother you, Naruto — We're looking for these people." Toru produced two drawings; one of Gama, one of Hebi. "Have you seen them by any chance?"
Naruto stared at them.
Toru waited.
'You know, I kinda wish I could read minds like Ino can — killing people anytime you want their memories is really inefficient.' He sent.
'You people really are too used to taking things.'
'You people…? That's offensive.'
'Ninja, I mean.'
'That's what I'm saying. Offensive.'
Naruto finally answered, and Toru absentmindedly remarked how pale his skin was, and how red his eyes were.
"I haven't seen the people you are talking about." Naruto said.
"Ah, damn." Toru mumbled. "I thought that this Gama guy might try to find some solace by beating up some weaker versions of himself that also happened to be evil."
"Our Naruto is not evil." Akemi frowned. "Is he?"
"…It's hard to tell sometimes — Besides, I'm pretty sure that to Gama, he is, and that's what matters."
"So this guy—" Akemi pointed at the Naruto in the room. "Is evil as well?"
"I would assume so, he has a throne." Toru shrugged. "And a castle that smells like blood."
"So does Orochimaru."
"…Yes, I know? What is your point?" Toru frowned.
"Fair enough."
Toru addressed Naruto again. "Are you evil?"
Naruto blinked. "What?" He regained some countenance. "I am not. If there's anything that is evil…" He said gloomily. "It is the world."
"See? Deflecting already." Toru shrugged helplessly. "Definitely evil."
"Well we don't know yet… Why don't you run him through the Questionnaire?" Akemi urged.
"You're right." Toru nodded. "Did you, at any point in time, join the Akatsuki?" He asked Naruto.
The man in question frowned.
"No."
"Are Minato and Kushina still alive but raising your prophecy twin?"
"…What?"
"Never mind. I don't see steel-toed boots under your dark clothes, either."
"No red tips to his hair either." Akemi noted.
"Did you sleep with a woman named Mitarashi Anko, by any chance?"
Naruto hissed. "I know who Anko is. And no."
Toru scratched his chin. "This one is a bit harder to figure out than usual."
"Who's Kurama to you?" Akemi asked him.
"One of Konoha's dead clans?" Naruto shrugged.
"When you think of the Fourth Hokage, do you get a sudden urge to… see how he feels in the afterlife... by burning down the damnable village he chose over his own son? The very same village that didn't respect his dying wish and—"
"…No?"
"That was a stupid question." Akemi chided him. "And not the one we agreed on."
"I don't care." Toru shrugged. "But yes, most people want to burn Konoha down at some point. Even I did at some point — I grew out of it, though."
"I never did." Akemi said.
"Well, you never died for it." Toru laughed. "Did you get kicked out of the orphanage at the age of three?"
"No." Naruto answered.
"Ever heard of a fox hunt?"
"…I don't like hunting animals."
"He didn't stiffen." Toru nodded with some admiration. "Either that rings no bell, or he's really dark. You like hunting humans?"
"No."
"Were you ANBU agent Kitsune?" Akemi asked.
"No."
"Where's your katana?"
"I left it back home." Naruto said.
"Is it humor I just heard?"
"No, I really left it at home."
"Okay. Did you ever hide your true skill and intelligence?"
"Of course."
"Gods, this is a tricky one." Akemi admitted.
Toru scratched his chin. "Can you lick your elbow?"
"No."
"Definitely not Orochimaru's student, then. Ever had a teacher you really cared about that liked convoluted plans?"
Naruto scoffed. "Well, everybody knows who my late teacher was."
"I did notice the seal on your tongue, yes." Toru said dryly.
"I grew up in Root, yes." Naruto nodded.
"I thought that Root was all about making yourself an inconspicuous, efficient shinobi."
"Danzō-sama and I disagreed on a few things." Naruto shrugged.
"Sama, huh. Did you kill him?"
"Of course not. I am loyal to his vision."
"Shame." Toru looked at Akemi. "…Is it enough for you?"
"I don't know." She hesitated. "Maybe he was a different sort of man here."
"I am not going to kill him — Though the people my clones just freed, down in the holding cells might... Once I remove his chakra from him."
"What did you just say?" Naruto asked, standing up. Spiky chains erupted out of his back.
"Hey, you broke the illusions." Toru blinked. "They were at least Tier 5 ones — I'm kinda impressed."
"Please stop with this." Akemi muttered.
Heavy, menacing red chakra burst from Naruto's form.
"Hey, he's using the Nine-Tails." Toru remarked. "Doesn't that play tricks on your brain?"
"Die."
"Very efficient — maybe Danzō taught you a thing or two after all."
Naruto sprang into action, rattling chains headed right for Toru. Akemi sat down. Toru stepped through the chains casually, slowly walking toward Naruto.
"You know, our Naruto never quite managed to do that." He mused absentmindedly. "I guess it's Indra's shit interfering and—"
Toru leaned backward, avoiding a claw that would have ripped his throat apart. Chains slammed back into the floor, breaking it. Toru jumped back.
He extended his hand, and blue chakra shaped itself into a blunt sword.
He swung.
Naruto's chains sprang in front of the weapon, wrapping around it.
"Why is your chakra not getting absorbed?"
"Allergies - blink if you can hear me."
"Wha—"
A foot slammed into Naruto's jaw. Stumbling backwards, he began weaving through hand-signs.
Toru snorted. "What, are you going to summon the Shinigami or something?"
Naruto didn't. He summoned a Baku.
Toru dismissed it.
(Although a nightmare-eating, dream-devouring creature might have been helfpul... once upon a time.)
Naruto stared. "…What?"
"What?" Toru mimicked.
Naruto summoned it again.
Toru dismissed it again.
"How…?"
"How…?" Toru repeated.
Naruto was visibly rattled.
"Yeah, okay." Toru sighed. "There won't be any decent fight here either. I put you at around… 33?"
"Let's leave?" Akemi asked.
"Sure thing."
Toru knocked this particular Naruto out. He began working on extracting the Nine-Tails and his chakra; he would leave just enough for the angry masses to have their way with him. Hopefully they weren't too bloodthirsty.
…Well, no matter. According to the people down there… This guy had earned it — and not just because Toru had something personal against anything Danzō.
World #341 - The One Where He Won.
Naruto, Ino and Hanabi appeared out of thin air.
"You really think that there's a chance they came here?" Ino asked.
"Unlikely." Naruto admitted. "But it's still better to check, right?"
"It doesn't really fit the map we made out of Gama's mind, but sure."
"Ready, Hanabi?"
"Of course." She nodded.
Hanabi's bow flashed into her hand, and she shot eight seeing-arrows.
The arrows released more of themselves.
Hanabi peered through them quickly, aiming to locate anything helpful at all.
She didn't have to wait for long. She blinked.
"Well, that's a new one." Hanabi said.
"What is?" Ino queried.
"Uzushio's floating in the sky somewhere, and Nagato's up there." She said.
"Huh." Naruto mused. "Again? Well… That kinda fits the parameters."
"The man's pretty strong, it kinda makes sense that he would win, when we're not around." Hanabi nodded.
"Uzushio in the sky, though?" Ino frowned. "That's… uncommon, at best."
"Think our alternate selves died here?" Naruto asked.
"Well, yeah. Probably."
"Wanna go and haunt Nagato?" Naruto smiled mirthlessly.
"Sure, why not." Hanabi agreed.
…
Less than ten minutes later, the three of them landed on top of Uzushiogakure's highest point.
Oceans of chakra swirled around the man who was already standing there, too large to be contained by a mere human body.
Uzumaki Nagato stared at them.
Silence stretched.
"…What?" Naruto asked. "No intimidating one-liner? I'm kinda disappointed."
"…Didn't I kill you already?" Nagato asked quietly. "How can this be?"
He was wary, very wary.
That they had come back to life was one thing.
But more importantly, his Rinnegan could see them clearly.
"Did you ever get the other Bijū?" Hanabi asked.
Nagato's eyes tightened.
"I thought your eyes could see this sort of thing." Naruto said.
"Of course." Hanabi nodded pleasantly. "I just wanted to hear him say it."
Nagato let out a sigh. "…I did not."
"Why?" Naruto asked.
"Does it matter? I had no need for them, in the end." He said.
"Well, you can tell us, or Ino is going to make you." Naruto shrugged.
"Do you believe you can, Yamanaka—"
"Yeah." Ino cut him off. "I may not be the best fighter around — among us, so pretty high bar here —, but this… I'm pretty good at. Ah, also it's Uzumaki, now."
"We're all a big, happy family now, you included." Hanabi said.
Nagato ignored her. "Whatever it is that Nii Yugito did, I never found the Two-Tails."
"And the Seven-Tails?" Naruto asked.
"Same thing here." Ino confirmed before Nagato could. "He found Umi, but the Bijū were long since gone."
"Huh, so she actually went through with the contingency."
"Apparently."
"So…" Naruto began. "Call it dark curiosity... but how are things going, down there?"
Nagato did not answer.
"Rude." Naruto frowned.
Nagato started pacing.
"Once, I have been afraid that a man might rise, one with the same eyes as mine." Nagato began.
"Ah, is it time for a story already?" Hanabi tilted her head.
Nagato ignored Hanabi. He continued. "Then… I became foolish enough to believe myself above that. Perhaps I truly believed myself a God, even."
"You don't… anymore?" Naruto asked curiously. "I thought the god-complex took up… most of your thought process."
"Laugh if you want." Nagato said. He let out a long-suffering sigh. "I am not foolish enough to believe that this is a battle I can win. Whatever it is you did to yourselves… You are beyond me now."
"No shit." Hanabi laughed.
"Although just… how you managed to get your hands on the Bijū's power remains a mystery." Nagato said evenly.
He got down on both knees, keeping his back straight.
"Very well." He said. "I have been bested, in the end. Shall you decide to grant me a swift death, the same way I have granted you, I shall accept it."
"Who cares? You'd be dead anyway." Hanabi shrugged. "Besides, it's like you want us to kill you — So I'm not killing you."
Nagato blinked. He looked at them, frustration rising. "…Then what is it that you want?"
"Answers first." Ino said.
"About the world, then?" Nagato asked. "I have accomplished my goal and ended large wars."
"That's very careful wording here." Naruto said.
"For a reason." Ino nodded.
Nagato frowned. "Trading large scale ground wars for a deluge of smaller contingencies is progress, anyway I see it. In time, the smaller conflicts shall stop as well."
"His heart wavers - He's not very convinced." Ino said.
"…Are you still going to bomb the entire planet?" Naruto asked.
"…I won't have to. Once was enough."
"Because it won't be needed or because it horrified you enough?" Ino asked pointedly. She could read his heart.
"…" Nagato looked away.
"Any particular reason you went for the Land of Fire first?" Hanabi quipped. "I'm sure it was a very objective, rational choice — not anything petty like vengeance."
"Fire was the strongest Nation." Nagato said. "I believed it would quell the rest. And I was right."
"You know, there's something about killing millions of people that always made your solution sound somewhat… impractical." Hanabi mused.
"And how fucked are the smaller countries, now?" Ino asked.
Nagato didn't answer.
"Pretty fucked, then." Naruto nodded. "Well, we tried to warn you."
Their alternates had tried, technically.
"You didn't stop wars." He shrugged. "There are still assassinations, subversion, proxy wars… economic warfare. How long is it going to take until someone tries their hand at making another superweapon…?"
"…They tried already." Nagato said.
"Well... that's a pretty big mess you got on your hands." Naruto said.
"No wonder you want to die." Hanabi nodded. "It must suck to be you."
"Imperfect as it might be, I have ended the Great Wars." Nagato spat.
"Well, you brought peace on borrowed time." Ino said. "One that might suddenly and violently end."
Nagato's frustration was bubbling. "I tried."
"You know, perhaps we should kill you and just take over." Naruto mused.
Ino shook her head.
Naruto blinked.
'…He had a change of heart?' He chuckled. 'Him?'
'Yes.' Ino just thought. 'He really has been cowed by seeing the glassed Land of Fire for himself. Up close.'
Naruto closed his eyes.
He thought about how he had felt when Nagato killed Karin. The begging, the pleading going on inside him, in spite of the certainty that this was it. Each breath that came; moreand more of the red haze, less and less oxygen.
The memories played through his head.
But that was a time long gone already, wasn't it…?
All the same... Nagato had killed all of them, here.
Well, both Ino and Hanabi felt the same way about Nagato, undoubtedly. So there had to be a good reason for this.
'So? Just because he saw the results of his work, we should spare him?' Naruto asked.
'He dedicated his entire life to this… and was mortified by seeing it happen.' Ino said. 'He will spend the rest of his life atoning — and trying to find a solution.'
'Same thing if we just kill him here and now.' Hanabi offered.
Naruto mulled it over.
There was an infinity of realities out there. Was it truly impossible to believe that this particular Nagato might truly have changed his mind…?
Or was he just too unwilling to let that man live…?
'Well… It's not like his solution is likely going to be too different from mine.' Naruto shrugged. They were a bit too similar for that.
'Glad you could see the light.'
'I sure hope he doesn't decide to glass the world.' Hanabi mused. 'Right...?'
'He won't.' Ino said.
Naruto sighed.
"Looks like you're going to live a little while longer." He said.
Nagato blinked. "…Why?"
"You're going to have to live with what you've done." Naruto said. "Fix this world — the long way."
Nagato stared at him.
"Now…" Naruto mused. "Is it going to take a binding oath…?"
"…No." Nagato said at last.
There was a long, uncomfortable moment of silence.
Hanabi laughed. Then she laughed harder.
"Well tough luck, because we're not taking any chances here." She said. "Hand over your eyes and the Bijū, then it's time to bind you to a promise."
"As she says." Naruto nodded. "There was no way we were about to let you roam entirely free."
...
"Also, did you… by any chance, see any of these two people?" Hanabi asked, pulling a picture out.
"…No." Nagato said.
"Look closer." Hanabi said, frowning. "The lack of mystic eyes might leave the world a bit blurrier than it used to be - not that I would know."
Nagato didn't answer. His own eyes were working well, he knew.
Privately, Naruto thought that this was a man who had defeated himself. The Nagato he knew would at least muster some defiance, really.
"Of course not." She said. "That was a bit of a shot in the dark, anyway."
"We'll be back to check on you… at some point." Ino said, right before they leaped away from Uzushiogakure.
Naruto stared at him, mulling something over once more. He sighed.
"Don't become complacent, Nagato."
World #342 - The One With The Sad Orphans
Matatabi, Yugito and Karin had appeared out of thin air, inside Konoha's walls.
"Is this realm truly as safe as you said it would be, Uzumaki…?" The Bijū asked.
"Of course." Karin nodded. "You're not the only one worried about my pregnant wife's well-being."
Yugito didn't even bother correcting her, at this point. "It definitely feels like it's safe, at least."
They were several years back in the past — at least compared to their own timeline.
The reason she wasn't answering Karin was that she had more important things to do. Yugito definitely didn't feel as though she was cut out to be a parent, but she was pretty sure she would have to manage.
Compared to that, taking care of two eight-year old boys for an hour or two was more than doable.
And they had insisted, anyway.
"…Pay attention, I won't repeat myself." She said.
"One time's enough, 'ttebayo!"
"Stop making noise, I can't hear her over your dumb voice!"
Yugito sighed. Matatabi hissed at them. "Silence."
The boys shut right up.
"Practice outside of your body — Yes, Sasuke, I know you can do a fireball already, you said it thrice." Yugito said. "But there's no valid reason for either of you to risk burning your insides, is there…?"
"Do it again!" Naruto beamed.
Yugito and Karin shared a look.
'It can't hurt, right…?'
'Probably not.'
From Yugito's fingers came a white fireball, so bright that it almost hurt the boys' to look at it.
The sheer heat it radiated was enough to turn their lips dry, and the earth brittle.
Naruto beamed and clapped. Sasuke stared.
"Can I learn this…?"
"I can't guarantee you that." Yugito shrugged, dismissing it.
"Why not?" Naruto asked, too loudly.
"Yugito had special circumstances."
"I don't know what cir-constance is." The child laughed.
"It's because of the magic cat Matatabi, they had a special link." Karin explained.
"I am no magic cat—"
"No way! A ninja cat?" Sasuke gaped. "I thought only my clan…" He cut himself off. "…You can summon flames?"
Matatabi didn't have it within herself to ignore the boy.
"…Yes. I taught Yugito how to do it."
"Can you teach me too…?"
"It would take you years. Besides, I believe it is time for both of you to head home, isn't it…?"
Sasuke's face fell.
Young Naruto's face scrunched up in a frown. "It's not like anyone's waiting for me."
Sasuke was less expressive about it. He turned sullen instead. It was pretty clear that this one was yet another dealing with his clan's massacre.
Maybe it was the pregnancy, but something clenched within Yugito. She turned to Karin.
"Say, is Kaoru still looking to adopt…? — Temporarily, at least… They can always come back here later on, right?"
Karin grinned proudly.
World #7570 - Tokyo
"So you use this square-phone to send a message to people all over the world, then?" Hebi asked, vaguely impressed.
They had devices that could do the same, back home, but nothing to this level. And of course, not as easily accessible to the public either. Unless this Nacchan was someone important, perhaps…?
"…Well, yeah, I guess." Nacchan said, a bit bemused. "…But why do you care? You guys do… magic."
(He was still waiting for the moment he finally woke up, this morning was just strange.)
"It's not magic." Gama rolled his eyes. "It's just a jutsu."
Nacchan stared at him.
"Hey kid, show me the game again." Gama insisted.
"That gacha thing…? I don't think I really should — they're designed to suck you in and you're already—"
"The game, please, Nacchan." Gama frowned.
Nacchan shook his head again, despite his rising anxiety. "No."
"No?"
"No." He was starting to sweat a bit. This Gama guy seemed to be a bit of a bully, if given the chance… and he didn't want to give him the chance. Which meant he had to be firm. Even though that guy was… a magic-using creature.
"Why not?" Gama frowned. "We were having fun."
"I have class!" Nacchan exclaimed. "I'm already running late, and if I don't hurry…"
"Class?" Hebi blinked. "You're like what, fifteen already. Aren't you?"
"I'm… seventeen. And I'm only in high-school."
"Ah, yes." Gama realized. "Civilians go to school much longer, I think. They only start working when they're like eighteen."
"Really…?" Hebi blinked.
"You didn't know?"
"…I never really had much time to take notice of such things." She admitted. "I had to get strong fast."
"Yeah… I get you." Gama nodded. "Me too."
There was an awkward silence. She politely didn't say anything about the gap between them — or the efficiency of their respective senseis' methods.
Gama still scowled.
"…Well, we're locked in here until it recharges." He said, shaking the pyramid-like thing.
"With no natural energy around, that might take us a while." Hebi muttered. "We should lay low and wait—"
"Take us to your school, Nacchan." Gama declared.
"Hell no!"
"Would you rather we wait here and meet your parents?" He threatened.
"Yes!" At least someone would believe him, then.
"Well, I don't want to do it." Gama said, quite petulantly.
"And I don't want to go to school." Hebi spat.
"Tough shit, 'cause I'm going." Gama said grandly.
"I don't care." She laughed.
"…I'm taking the runic pyramid with me."
Hebi chuckled. Gama was not blinking.
"…Oh, you were serious." She realized. "Blackmailing me?"
"I guess we'll never know." Gama mocked.
He saw Hebi about to move; Gama had expected it. He brought his hands up, toward his mouth.
Gama swallowed the pyramid.
"What the hell?! You absolute moron!" She shrieked. "You just damned us!"
Gama was choking on it.
"Spit it out!" She roared. "Spit it out, mongrel!" Hebi shook him, more and more violently.
Gama swallowed it entirely, with a pained sound.
"I'm going to rip your stomach open if I have to!" Hebi roared. She tried to gather natural energy.
Tried.
"…What?" Hebi frowned. "I can't use Senjutsu…?"
"Ha!" Gama grinned. "You're so fucked right now."
"Are you stupid?" She laughed tightly. "You're the one who has to rely on it. I have the Nine-Tai—"
"That's just not even believable, coming from you!"
Nacchan was trying to plan his escape.
The doorbell rang.
Nacchan panicked.
"…Who is it?" Hebi asked, as though it were his fault.
"…"
"I said… Who is it?" She repeated.
"…My friend Sakura from school — she passes the house on her way to school and rings the bell to see if I left with my dad or not."
Gama grinned, almost proudly. "No way, she's like a real-life childhood friend trope!"
Nacchan frowned at him. "The hell are you talking about?"
"Just ignore the bell, then." Hebi stared at him.
"Yes, that's probably for the best." Nacchan nodded slowly — and finding himself agreeing with a psychopathic home-invader was not a great start to a day, overall. "That way, we can just—"
"…Where is that fool?" Hebi asked tightly.
Gama was gone already.
They heard the door open downstairs. Gama's loud voice carried.
"You must be Sakura-chan! Nacchan talked about you so much! Why yes, we go to the same school, you probably just never noticed me — I'm his cousin, by the way."
Nacchan moaned in despair — Hebi looked ready to murder someone.
World #01 - Umigakure.
Orochimaru had held up his end of the bargain, and given Yoisen access to the Rinnegan.
Something about the entire thing felt surreal, as this was something Indra himself would have given a lot to obtain, once.
If Naruto truly was left unable to contact them, there was no way for either her nor Orochimaru to estimate how much time had passed for him.
If they were all dead and unable to come back for some reason, it was up to her to go and figure out how and why it had happened.
If Naruto was simply ignoring her — No. Too unlikely.
No matter what it was, Yoisen needed time to recover from the fight; time to at least understand the basics of the Rinnegan's ability; time for the eye she had sealed to gather enough power to allow for a jump.
So Yoisen ended up being roped into actually going to the dinner.
And so were the rest of them. So was Uchiha Shisui — a man she had seen in passing before.
Dinner… was a strange affair.
Well, Orochimaru had assured her that it would prevent this Kaoru woman from pestering her in the foreseeable future. Not that it would matter, since Yoisen was about to leave. So she was almost certain that the one who would be pestered about it would be him.
Uchiha Shisui was giving both Yoisen and Kaguya strange, suspicious looks.
"Pleased to meet you too, Shisui." Yoisen nodded. "Call me Yoisen."
He blinked. "Uh, yeah. Pleased to meet you."
"Are you immortal as well, Yoisen-san?" Kaoru asked curiously. Shisui was staring again. Anko kicked him under the table and he yelped.
"I am." She nodded. "Well, unless I die, but that's just semantics."
"All right." Kaoru nodded. "This makes some strange sort of sense, I guess."
"I am glad I could clarify."
"Yashagoro-chan never really bothers with explanations, you know…"
Orochimaru sighed.
"It must be difficult." Yoisen said easily.
"He can be a brat, yes."
"That is not what I said…"
"Isn't it difficult as well...? Being immortal, I mean."
Yoisen thought about it. "It does get quite lonely, at times."
Kaguya sneered at her from the other side of the table.
Yoisen continued, unfazed. "There really aren't that many of us around — as far as I was concerned, I was the only one on Earth, as I only heard of the Otsutsuki in passing... until recently."
"Solitude is the richness of self." Kaguya cut her off. "Loneliness is something that only the weak—"
"Are you not from a clan of pseudo-immortals yourself?" Yoisen asked sharply. "Running away from them, it is no wonder you would feel that way."
"I have never run away."
"You speak of solitude so highly, yet you still had children, have you not?"
Kaguya scoffed. "It is exactly why I have come to understand the need for me to rule alone."
Yoisen stared. "So… what is it that are you ruling exactly? Besides the confines of your mind — if that?"
Kaguya's eyes tightened.
"Oh dear." Kaoru said absentmindedly. "It sure does sound like you two are having your differences. More tea?"
"Yes, please." Yoisen nodded.
"If you believe I am going to drink more of this swill you call tea—" Kaguya began.
"Don't." Orochimaru cut her off. Kaguya's mouth continued to move, but no sound came out.
"My… You sure are rude." Kaoru muttered. "Oh, well. Can't please everyone."
"Certainly not." Anko agreed. "The tea's great, by the way."
"I know, Anko-chan."
Anko gave Shisui a side-look. He blinked. "Oh. Yeah… it's good."
"Is Anko-chan threatening you again?" Kaoru asked.
"Nope."
"Are you certain?"
"No."
"Please let Shisui-kun have some taste of free will." Orochimaru said evenly.
Shisui gave him a disgruntled look.
"Free will is but an illusion humans have come up with to justify their disgusting lives." Kaguya cut in. "Nothing more."
"You must be a lot of fun at parties." Anko grunted. "Where did you find this one, sensei..?"
"On the Moon." Yoisen supplied.
"I never had the time for paltry celebrations." Kaguya deigned to answer Anko.
"Oh, I believe you're going to have a lot of free time on your hands now." Anko chuckled lowly. "Chakra ancestor or not. Be a dick about things - like you are right now -, and I'm sure we can find a few things for you to do."
"Kaguya is our guest, Anko." Orochimaru declared.
"So she's just here to talk philosophy with you?" She asked.
"Mostly." He admitted. "Hidan can be dreadfully boring, whenever he's having an existential crisis — you would think that immortals might be more interesting about it."
"Such paltry goals." Kaguya shook her head.
"You need hobbies." Anko shot back.
"But we have loftier goals, too." Yoisen said quietly.
"Oh…?" Kaguya asked mockingly. "Please, enlighten me."
Yoisen looked back at Kaguya.
"I'm going to go find the person I care about." She said sharply. "And then I will come back with him."
Kaguya almost laughed. "And was there anything about this that made it worth telling me…?"
Yoisen smiled. "Of course. The fact that he has some of your precious chakra. Indra's precious chakra, reincarnated. Something that I am certain you would have noticed right away, once you finally saw him."
Kaguya froze.
Then she stiffened in anger. "That is mine to—"
"He is more than Indra ever was. Now... If you ever... as much as look his way… You're going to wish you had stayed frozen on the moon." Yoisen said quietly.
"Is this a threat?" Kaguya whispered, just as softly.
"Did it sound like one?"
Shisui shrunk away from them.
Kaoru laughed. "My, this is such a fun affair — I knew inviting you all was the right decision."
Orochimaru ignored her.
Teachers: The Mostly-Reliable One
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World #7570 - Tokyo
"I can't believe you never told me about your cousins!" Haruno Sakura exclaimed.
"…Yeah, it just… never came up." Nacchan muttered pitifully.
"But they go to our school!"
"Nacchan can be quite distracted." Gama laughed boisterously, slipping an arm around his shoulders. "It's his side of the family, really. Minato, you know..."
Nacchan stiffened — not as much as Hebi did, but still.
"Ah, it's true." Sakura laughed. "He can be a bit of an airhead — what he would do without me, I wonder…"
"I'm sure he'd be very lost!" Gama laughed. Nacchan frowned harder. "Why, he just told me the other day that he was considering inviting you to the Kabuki show!"
"What?!" Nacchan hissed.
Sakura blinked. "Really? I thought you said you weren't really into that sort of things, because of your godfather's last—"
"Nonsense!" Gama waved away. "Kabuki is awesome — and Bunraku is alright, too."
"I didn't —" Nacchan began.
"Then…" Gama said, looking at Nacchan with an eerie light in his eyes — the glint of crazed perversion of one that lived vicariously through getting someone else one step closer to romance; closer to possibly getting laid. "Where were you about to invite her, again…? I'm afraid I forgot."
Nacchan had been defeated in just a few moves, and that idiot apparently could prepare a decent trap.
"…To the movies." Nacchan gritted out, defeated. "I wanted to go to the movies with you, Sakura-chan."
"Oh." She blinked. "I—I would like that."
Gama's nod seemed to convey "you're welcome". Nacchan felt like trying his hand at beating him up.
Sakura went down the escalator first. Gama stopped moving and Nacchan's face smashed into his back.
"What the fuck are you doing?" He grunted.
"I'm not stepping on these moving stairs." Gama declared. "This can't be stable."
"I agree with the fool." Hebi said.
"…Well, take the fucking stairs, then." Nacchan muttered. Where were these idiots from…?
"Where are we going?" Hebi asked him, going down the regular stairs next to Gama. Nacchan rolled his eyes from the escalator.
"Well, we're about to take the subway."
"A sub…?" Gama asked. "I'm not going underwater again—"
"…Are you guys for real? It's a train." Nacchan growled. "This is going to end so badly—"
"Gods, this place smells weird." Gama complained.
"…It does." Hebi acquiesced.
"…It's a fucking subway — and it's really not that bad, we're in Tokyo — Okay shut up, Sakura is listening."
"Aw…" Gama grinned. "You really do care."
"Shut the fuck up before I cave your face in, you piece of shit." Nacchan's temper boiled. Then he realized that the man — who had done some more magic to make himself look younger — was able to kill him.
Gama just laughed. Sakura heard them.
Nacchan paused. "You guys… have an IC card?"
Hebi and Gama shared a look. "A what?" Gama blinked.
"Oh come on." Nacchan hissed.
"…How do you go to school, usually?" Sakura asked.
"I simply have forgotten mine." Hebi lied smoothly. "Rest assured, I do have an Ishee-card."
"Ah, okay."
"Do remind me… why would I need one today? The Ishee-card, I mean." Hebi asked.
"Well, to take the subway." Sakura laughed. "What else?"
"Ah." Hebi nodded. "Because we are not technically allowed to go through these metallic doors without them, then."
"…Yes?"
"Nacchan has a card." Gama said. "Squeeze us through."
"I won't."
"…Why not?" Gama frowned.
"Because that's illegal."
Gama stared.
He began chuckling. "Oh man, you have a great poker face — I really thought you meant it."
"I did."
Gama paused. "Who cares?"
"What is allowed and what is right are two different things, Nacchan." Hebi said. "Let us pass through."
"I won't. People pay for this."
"Will you let us go through, Sakura-chan?" Gama asked.
"Uh, I don't know, people are watching and…"
"It's okay, Nacchan will." Gama said confidently.
"I won't — pay for your own shit."
Gama stared at him. "Well… I just so happen to not have any Tokijo money on me — today." He added, for Sakura's sake.
Hebi sighed dramatically. "And I have forgotten my uchi-bukuro at home, too."
"…The samurai money-purse, you mean…?" Sakura tilted her head.
"Ninja." Hebi corrected.
"But why would you—"
"To carry money." Hebi said curtly.
"I guess we will have to depend on our cousin's generosity, once more." Gama said. "I am so sorry, guys."
Nacchan breathed in and out. Slowly.
"Uh…" Sakura began. "I guess I can pay for you…?"
"Oh!" Hebi said. "What a nice idea — Very kind of you, Sakura-san."
"I take it back, this is worse than being underwater." Gama muttered. "There are so many people crammed into this wagon."
"Car." Nacchan corrected. "Like the automobile - please remember about these words."
"Why did they put TVs inside of a… train?" Hebi asked.
"They're just LCD screens - and why do you know about TVs anyway-"
"And the news… It's only about terrible events — is this world so bad?" Gama asked.
"The economical situation's pretty bad, but we're managing."
"Ah, I see…" Hebi nodded. "Your country is going to attack its neighbor for resources soon, then."
"…No?" Nacchan frowned. "We're an island."
"Well, get boats, then." Gama frowned. "Maybe if you didn't focus all of your technological advances on stupid things like metal contraptions that slowly go around underground, you could have nice things."
"…I'm not going to bother with you." Nacchan decided. "But we have boats."
Gama scoffed. "I'm sure they're something ridiculous, with… TVs on the hulls, too."
"But why would we even do that—"
Gama stiffened. "I think someone grabbed my ass."
"It must have been an accident." Hebi muttered. "Or perhaps they are blind."
Nacchan was just glad Sakura was a bit further away.
Still, there was a bigger problem.
"This is ridiculous — how are you even going to enter the school — You are not students here." Nacchan hissed.
"Watch me." Gama scoffed.
"If you're going to do frog-magic—"
"Toad magic, if you must."
"I believe I am better suited for the task." Hebi interrupted. "Genjutsu is something that I am quite fond of."
"…Very well." Gama acknowledged. "It would make sense, as snakes are masters of tricking and deceiving honest folks."
World #07 - Unnamed Hotel.
Sakura, Sarada and Tsunade were about to go to sleep.
Well, Tsunade was sleeping already, technically.
And Sarada had a question that needed answering.
"Romance?" Sakura asked back, shaking her head. "That typical, mundane, warm family? That's just something I don't think I can understand. Nothing wrong with it, far from it, but I was never one for big displays of affection. Or at least I don't think so, I'll admit I'm not always the most self-aware person in the room."
Sarada nodded. She had thought so. "I think it's the same for my parents. Do you think they are more affectionate in private?"
Sakura shrugged. "I wouldn't know — I can't pretend I understand either of them, really."
"Yeah." Sarada sighed. "I guess that's true. I think I'll go to sleep too."
"I understand, both young girls…" Sakura looked toward the room Tsunade was sleeping in. "And old girls need their beauty sleep."
"…How old are you, even?"
"Now that's a mystery for the ages." Sakura laughed. "Don't worry, I'm probably going to stay more or less the same, while everybody around us goes old and wrinkled — just like Tsunade already is, I'm sure; as I can see under—"
A slipper phased through Sakura's head harmlessly.
"Ha!" She crowed. "I knew you weren't sleeping, you old bat!"
"What the fuck did you just call me?!" Tsunade answered from the other room. Sakura could see her face now, as the slipper she had thrown had gone straight through the wall.
"Keep some of that energy for tomorrow." Sakura nodded. "I promised you a spar, didn't I?"
It took a whole lot more time and more begging from Sarada, but Tsunade eventually went back to sleep.
Once Sarada did the same, Sakura left silently.
"I'm hoooome!" Sakura called with a cheery smile.
She jumped into Naruto's arms with practiced ease.
"Welcome home, Sakura." He greeted her with a fond smile.
"I'm back — Did you miss me a lot?" She asked eagerly.
"Of course. You're my darling wife." He laughed.
"A—Ah? You mean it? — I mean… You're goddamn right, I am." She said with more countenance. "And don't you forget it!"
"How could I?" Naruto laughed. "Are you hungry? We were about to have dinner soon — I cooked a plate for you in case you came back from… whatever you were doing. We had a pretty busy day, too."
"Ah~ You're the sweetest… — Well, I'll tell you since you're being nice and all. I told my travel partners to expect me back tomorrow morning anyway — maybe I should have told them to go camping instead, it's good for their soul…"
"…Is there a story there?" Naruto asked, wrapping an arm around her waist and leading her to the dining room.
"Not much of a story, really…" Sakura smiled happily.
Teachers: The Morally-Bankrupt One
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